No Patience, No Virtue ((Col))

[Bradley Jameson]

Bradley wasn't a patient person. He wasn't patient during Quidditch practice, becoming frustrated if progress wasn't made fast enough, but keeping emotions at bay to focus. He wasn't patient when doing homework and he didn't know what to do, so he'd throw a childish tantrum and then go find Colin (because if Bradley ever had a problem with his classes, it was always and only Potions). He wasn't even patient with his friends, especially Katie, who enjoyed pushing his buttons (he'd never thrown his temper at Angel or Santiago, they were too nice to be yelled at, or to incite irritation from Bradley in the first place). Bradley wasn't a patient person at all, and he was well aware of this.

However, when it came to relationships... Relationships. Well, Bradley became the most patient person ever. Take Holliday, for example; she had been clingy and money-grabbing, but Bradley had still wanted her (and in hindsight, he seriously wondered why). And Georgia - she was demanding and spoilt, and still Bradley had put up with her for four whole months (again, why). And now, with Colin; Bradley didn't require patience when with Colin - they had been so close they'd practically been in a romantic relationship already, just without the romance - yet, Bradley had had to be patient with the relationship itself; not to push for too much, not to expect too much too soon.

But it'd turned out that Bradley had been too cautious, treating Colin like a china doll, afraid to touch, only content to see and wonder constantly (in class, doing homework, dreaming...). So Bradley had been over the moon when Colin had implied that they were going too slow, and he'd realised that he'd been scared - terrified, in fact - to take their friendship that one step further - a step Bradley might never be able to retrace. Now, Bradley was more than happy with where their relationship was at; comfortably together, still best friends who knew each other inside-out, yet snatching small romantic moments in private only the two of them knew about. It was nice. Better than nice... It was amazing.

There were some things about Bradley that would never change, though, and he was still an impatient person. An impatient person who did not like reading. He stared forlornly at the novel lying crooked in his lap, pages flapping uselessly and bending into each other. Small inked words blurred before Bradley's eyes, and he heaved a silent sigh. He hated books. Hated them. Bradley could read - sure, he was literate - and he did enjoy an odd novel or two now and then, but anything too long-winded, too confusing, too feminine, too childish, too unrealistic, too... anything, proved not-for-Bradley. And this book he had chosen? Not-for-Bradley. At all.

Bradley gave up at page ten. He deemed the book not salvageable, and cast it to one side, immediately forgotten for the sake of the lone figure perched on the bed beside him, mirroring Bradley's previous position: curled over a book, reading avidly (okay, so that part had not at all been part of Bradley's image). Colin had always loved reading; it was one of the main differences separating him and Bradley. Bradley loved him for it, though; Colin was intellectual, inquisitive, smart. He might act like a dork a lot of the time, but Colin was clever, and Bradley loved him. Eyes crinkling fondly, Bradley crawled off his bed, sliding down the covers and prowling towards Colin.

When Bradley finally folded his body against Colin's, Colin hadn't been expecting it, so engrossed in his reading, and Bradley felt the gasp of surprise ripple through Colin's slender back. Grinning into Colin's mop of dark, unruly hair, Bradley took advantage of his boyfriend's brief moment of confusion to slip his arms possessively around Colin's waist, so that he was straddling him from behind and resting his chin in the nook of Colin's shoulder. "Hey," Bradley breathed softly against the shell of an ear, then proceeded to nip and lick at the lobe slowly. "I'm bored. Entertain me, Colin." Thank goodness for the empty dormitory besides the two of them, Bradley thought at the back of his mind as his lips began to travel lower, caressing the span of Colin's neck just below the ends of his hair.

[Colin Morgensen G7]

He loved his friends, truly he did. Katie was smart and witty and loving. She also teased Bradley with him, for which Colin adored her endlessly. Elegance incarnate, Katie was, sometimes. Colin’s long legs and arms were absolutely ungainly next to her. Angel was gentle and kind and always ready to listen and give advice, like a sister, or what Colin imagined a sister would be. Being an only child raised among adults for the majority of his later childhood had given him little judgement on what sisters should do or be like. Santiago was compassion and honour and justice; the true Gryffindor among them, Colin privately thought sometimes. He had helped neither Colin nor Bradley during their first year feud but Colin was almost hyperaware that Santiago had been the only one to cast disapproving looks after the two of them and softly caution when things were going too far. Bradley....well, Bradley was Bradley and Colin loved Bradley. That would always be enough.

Yet, despite his love for his friends, there were times when Colin desperately needed his own time, to reflect or read or to just not think at all. He couldn’t do that when Katie was needling at Bradley next to him and Angel was trying to drag him and Santiago into a conversation. They were just too raucous, too frantic, too not-quiet. He had learnt that lesson years ago: if he wanted time to think then he needed to be by himself, preferably with a book in his lap to give the signal that he really did not want to be disturbed. Most of the time, like now, he was actually reading the book. Sometimes, he was staring with blank, unseeing eyes that saw only his thoughts and hands that automatically turned the pages.

Colin hadn’t been immersed so deeply in his book that he hadn’t noticed Bradley enter the dorm room, however. He always noticed when Bradley bounced into a room. Angel had once compared Bradley to a puppy after observing him enter a room and head straight for Colin. With a quiet laugh, Colin had agreed. Much like an ignored puppy actually, Bradley had eventually slunk onto his own bed and produced his own book when Colin had shown few signs of acknowledging his presence. His best friend knew when to not bother him by now, and Colin was grateful for that. It was hard to concentrate on reading when Bradley was whining for attention like the spoilt child that he had been.

Colin turned the page, content in his own silence and Bradley’s company on the next bed until the book tumbled from his hands to thump against the floor, forgotten and alone. There should not be anyone leaning against him from behind and breathing into his ear like a weird person. There were only him and Bradley in the dorm room, for Merlin’s sake! And Bradley wouldn’t...oh. Realisation struck and Colin flushed darkly. Of course. He and Bradley were...yeah. So it was definitely Bradley since he was also now speaking.

Entertain him? Colin blinked, hearing the flirtation in his best friend’s tone and inwardly recoiling from it slightly. That sounded...too much, too intense, too scary, too not Bradley. “Entertain you?” Colin repeated shakily, turning slightly to glance back at Bradley solely because he knew his fringe was covering the wideness of his eyes. “Well, we could play chess? Or your Potions homework still needs to be done! You haven’t done that yet.”

[Bradley Jameson]

Bradley's smirk immediately fell into a frown at Colin's reaction. He'd been expecting, ever since their last conversation about their relationship, that this is what Colin wanted. He wanted Bradley to be more open with him, to be touchy and clingy, and... yeah. That kind of stuff boyfriends do with each other. Well, Bradley wasn't exactly sure if that was indeed what boyfriends did, because he'd never had a boyfriend before, but it couldn't be too different with a guy than a girl, right? Holliday and Georgia had been relatively easy to please in this area, even if Bradley himself wasn't always that desperate or wanting of it. But it seemed Colin was completely different and, ironically, the hardest to read. The irony of the entire situation wasn't at all lost on Bradley; he was dating his best friend, who he could not, for the life of him, get when it came to the romance part of their relationship.

Bradley felt anxiety and then frustration bottle in his throat, but he swallowed it tightly and locked eye contact with Colin. Everything about his best friend screamed No, and Bradley wasn't comfortable with that. Colin was never uncomfortable with Bradley, never, and the fact that he was exhibiting such behaviour when they were in a romantic relationship... Well, it hurt. Bradley tried to mask the emotions, and forced a casual smile. "We always play chess, Colin," Bradley said as neutrally as possible, and tried not to grit his teeth in the process. "And I did my Potions homework this morning, actually." Rather than squeezing Colin's waist more, Bradley began to slowly draw away and unfurl from behind his boyfriend. "Didn't even need your help," Bradley added with a forced, breezy tone of voice, and finally he had de-tangled himself from Colin, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed, feet touching the floor. He didn't look at Colin and focused, instead, on his own messed-up bed.

The problem was, Bradley could read Colin like the book that sat on his lap right now. Bradley could tell, right away, how Colin felt, and it made Bradley... sad. Sad. Colin made Bradley feel a lot of things, but sad was not one of them, and suddenly, insanely, Bradley kind of wanted to cry. This is ridiculous, Bradley thought, viciously demanding himself not to tear up in front of Colin. With an entirely straight, stoic face, Bradley stood up and began to head towards the door out of the dorm. "Anyway, I'll leave you to it. I'm bored, I'll go find Santiago... or fly. Yeah. I'm going to go practise." Without once looking at Colin again, Bradley veered back towards his bed, bent over, and pulled his broomstick from under his bed. "I'll see you later, yeah?" Bradley mumbled quickly, and started out of the room, desperate to... desperate not to break because this was just too freaking hard.

[Colin Morgensen G7]

f**k. That one word, regardless of how hard his mum would smack him if she ever heard it escape his mouth, effectively summed up the entire situation as Colin watched Bradley exit the dorm room, leaving him behind. He had royally messed everything up this time. There was no point in trying to stop Bradley from leaving. Colin knew that from past experience. It was highly likely that Bradley’s pride was hurt but, more than that, his entire self was hurting. Because of Colin. That had never happened before. Of course, Colin had never before reacted so negatively to his best friend’s presence. That was part of the problem. He had just been so aware that it was not Bradley, his best friend, behind him. The person behind him had been Bradley, his boyfriend of sorts. Colin knew what to do with his best friend, he had no such experience with a boyfriend, and Bradley would likely kill him if Colin treated him like he would treat Laura.

It had hurt when Bradley had moved away from him with such slow deliberation, never once looking at Colin. He had probably just been trying not to spook Colin even further and it wasn’t like Colin had been able to openly face Bradley himself but it had hurt. For the first time, Colin thought that he almost hated Bradley for changing their relationship. If the prat hadn’t kissed him, if he hadn’t been so hostile to Michelle then maybe, probably, everything would still be the way it always had been. Colin wouldn’t have stayed long with Michelle; he would have grudgingly acknowledged how much his best friend hated the girl he liked and, once again, put Bradley before his girlfriend.

Laura had broken up with him for that, Colin remembered miserably. Bradley Jameson had held no charm for Colin’s Hufflepuff ex-girlfriend. He had taken up too much of Colin’s time, not leaving enough for her. It was a shame. He had been very fond of Laura; she had the patience and the kindness that had first made Colin notice her but also a determination and wise air that had kept him with her for longer than either of them would have imagined. He really did miss Laura. They hadn’t spoken at all since the break-up, occasionally sharing strained smiles when they passed each other in the corridors and averting their eyes when Bradley, as was the case most of the time, was walking with Colin. In a sudden flash of rage, Colin leant to grab his book from the floor where it had fallen and threw it at the wall beyond Bradley’s bed. Bradley Jameson ruined everything, Colin swore silently. Nothing remained untouched and untainted when Bradley was around.

Maybe he could visit her, Colin considered seriously. They had been such good friends even while they were dating. There had been none of the weirdness that seemed to comprise the majority of his new relationship with Bradley. The prospect of normality, of simplicity was such an attractive one that Colin couldn’t resist. He knew where she would be, unless she had changed very much since they had broken up. Mind made up, Colin stood up, casting one look back before turning away.