Welcome Home ((Logan))

[Josephine Bowman S7]

((Rated PG-13 for reverences to violence and abuse.
As well as references to sexual content and drug use.
Continued from A Drug Induced State.))

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Josephine stood in front of the mirror…tears were running down her face as she ran a hand up and down her arm. Even after the burning hot shower she couldn’t concentrate. Everything was screaming around her, twisting, turning…whirling out of control. She didn’t have anymore of the drug left and she didn’t have any way to get more. Stephen had cut her off…had done everything in his power to make her crawl on her knees…to beg, but he still wouldn’t give it to her…not here and not now. He would wait till she had gone crazy. That was the one thing about Stephen that Josephine didn’t get. There were times when he could be a kind person…perfect in every form and fashion, but then he’d turn around and be cruel…dark and menacing. There was no happy medium anymore. It was one extreme mood to the next. He either did something or he didn’t…was happy or not…was kind or cruel. There was no apathy with Stephen…he was angry most of the time anymore and Josephine had learned how to hold her tongue when she was around him. He’d displayed his wrath to her more than once that summer.

The call of her mother caused Josephine to jump, her hand fluttering to her chest as she shook her head. She wouldn’t answer her. Not until she was ready to go. Now that she’d been distracted from staring at herself, just as she had done earlier that morning she would get dressed. Normally this would be when Josephine would put on a dress and pretty herself up so her mother wouldn’t fight with her, but today…well Jo didn’t feel like putting on a slinky dress. Instead she pulled out a deep blued denim jean pants, very Muggle looking and then a silky black tank top with a ruffle, feathery look on the top, and etched black flowers on the top of the material. She had found a clothing shop in Diagon Alley that had taken Muggle designs and created them into a new unique wizarding look. It was to help people fit in…to know what it was like to dress as a Muggle. Josephine could careless if she fit in with the Muggle world or not, all she knew was the creator had been a Pureblood elitist and to her that meant the clothing was good enough to wear.

Fixing the strap on her shirt, she then ran her fingers through her silky hair as it slowly dried. Sighing, she’d finish her make-up and then add jewelry before she traveled down the steps to meet her mother. It was obvious her mother was getting impatient, as every few moments she’d shout up the stairs at her. Josephine had yet to reply at all and she could tell by her mother’s tone that she was getting irritated. Turning her head, she ruffled her hair at the base of her neck to give it more of a lift, before finishing her lip-gloss and then adding a long beaded and chain necklace to her outfit. Giving herself a once over she nodded before she opened her door and walked out. She could already hear her mother’s tone and words about her outfit ringing through her mind and sure enough as her mother came into view, “You are not wearing that. Go change now.”

“I’m wearing whatever I like,” Jo said in a tone that would have gotten most teens in trouble, however with everything that had gone on in the last year her mother merely sighed. She wasn’t going to argue with Josephine…she had no control in the family anymore. Her mother had hardly raised them…Brianna had done that and Brianna was gone, Jo’s best friend was gone. There was no one that was going to tell her what to do anymore and that meant she was going to wear whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. The steely look in her deep blue orbs was enough to make her mother wave her off.

“Just take my hand,” Anne said in annoyance as she held her hand out to Elena who took it ready for the side-along Apparition. Josephine took her other and within a few moments they were standing at the gate to the Brennan home. Josephine released her mother’s hand quickly as she quickly made sure her outfit had not wrinkled in the quick travel…not that it would have, but still she always felt she had to readjust after an Apparition. Her mother rolled her eyes and Josephine just rolled hers in return as she followed after her mother through the fence. Elena seemed to be more than pleased with showing up at a party in a dress that Josephine would normally wear. Jo couldn’t help the small smirk on her face…her sister was truly a mini-me. It was almost adorable…almost.

A pang stabbed through her stomach and Josephine had to cover the wince with a cough as she drew her hand across her stomach. The drug was quickly leaving her system…she needed more and she needed it soon. She’d have to risk Stephen’s wrath. Halfway through the party she’d slip out…take the Floo Network to Stephen’s…if he wasn’t there she’d steal whatever she needed. Blue orbs caught sight of her hand…it was shaking slightly and she flexed her fingers before closing her hand into a fist, trying to get rid of the shaking as the good old woman of Brennan manor suddenly greeted her mother. She showed them into the house where other guests had already arrived. Josephine rolled her eyes…everyone was twice her age here. Why the hell was she here again?

“And you remember Logan?” the woman’s voice dipped into Josephine’s daydreaming mind as she realized Mrs. Brennan had been pointing out and introducing her mother to a few of the guests. Josephine’s eyes stopped on Logan…a Logan she didn’t really remember…he was much different than the last time she’d seen him with her sister. Taller maybe, much older it seemed, and he exuded power…something that drew her in almost immediately, though she would never admit that. She had a boyfriend…one that was intent on supplying her with everything she needed. Her shaky hand hadn’t gone away yet and now as she stood there with her mother and little sister in front of this woman and her son Josephine suddenly wished she hadn’t came because suddenly the world was flipping upside down and her stomach was slowly beginning to roll.

[loganb]

So this was the life he had left behind. The life of heiresses, wealthy purebloods, elitist country clubs, and of course, his very favorite--social gatherings. Of course, Logan wasn’t going to argue with his kind and loving mother. She was getting older by the day, even with her sharp beauty that was clear to any soul with eyes. Mrs. Kiera Brennan had very sharp features. High cheek bones, a well defined jaw line, and arched eyebrows. Somehow though, despite the intensity of her facial structure, Logan’s mother was still a remarkably kind and respectable woman. Anyone who came in contact with her loved her for her sparkling personality and kindness toward everyone around her. That was why it was damn near impossible to say no to her. When Logan returned from his search around the United Kingdom and the territories around it, of course his mother was thrilled. She couldn’t express enough how relieved she was that her dear son had returned home safe and sound. The head of the Department of Aurors had contacted Logan’s mother upon his request after he’d left on the chase for the next “Dark Lord Wannabe” and ensured her that even though Logan would not be able to contact her while he was gone, she would know as soon as possible if anything had happened to him. She was more than thrilled when she received a letter from Logan himself explaining the capture of the criminal and his imminent return home. Just after hearing this joyous news, Keira had immediately launched herself into the planning of Logan’s welcome back party. Logan's mother loved any excuse to host a party.

And so, after years of being away from home, Logan returned from the life of hiking, hunting, and sheer survival instinct back into the life of the high class of the Wizarding World. He wasn’t too about it though. There were many people from his past that he was greatly looking forward to seeing. There was his mother of course, who he missed more and more with each day he was gone and was unable to contact her. But then there was his old friend Brianna. You see, Logan Brennan was never a very social creature…not in the least. He didn’t manage to keep all too many good friends over his years of education. But there was one friend he had surprisingly managed to get very close to as he grew up. That girl was Brianna Bowman. There were times in his life when Logan could remember feeling certain romantic feelings for his old friend, but being the person he was, Logan never dared act on those. He simply waved them off by convincing himself he was simply looking out for his old friend and making sure she was alright. It broke his heart every time he saw Brianna lying in her bed, willingly letting the cancer spread and deteriorate her body from the inside out. Brianna could have had some sort of a fighting chance had she not chosen to just let the cancer spread throughout her body. He beat himself up for this decision of hers time and time again, but never did he imagine her death would come quite so soon.

Logan returned home expecting to go straight to the Bowman residence to say hi to Brianna and the rest of her family, but those plans were very quickly put to an end when his mother sat him down to tell him that his oldest and closest friend had finally let the cancer overtake her body and kill what was left of her. Brianna Bowman was dead. Gone forever. He would never get to speak to her again or even see her face. The last image Logan had of her was already very faded as it was due to months and months of being away from her. What was worse was that Logan had never gotten the chance to say goodbye to her before she died. He hadn’t spoken to her since he was sent on that trip to stop all the Voldemort impersonators of sorts. The guilt Logan carried with him in his heart because of this ordeal could not be described. It was all his fault. He’d gone away for such a long time because of his work that he had neglected his one and only true friend. Logan owed it to Brianna to make it up to her. He wasn’t exactly sure how he’d do it, but he knew he had to. Some unknown force was driving him to go through with this social party and bare it for his all too adoring mother. He sighed, studying the room intently as his mother introduced him to all of their old friends and family who may not have recognized him. He really wasn’t looking forward to this at all. One of the only reasons he kept his mouth quiet though was because he really was looking forward to seeing what was left of the Bowman family and personally send them his condolences for the death of their beloved Brianna. He did feel terrible for not being able to be there for her, but he didn’t even know she was in such a critical condition. But that didn’t stop Logan’s guilt. He was determined to make it up to Brianna. He needed to.

Logan was busy attempting to keep his interest in a conversation with some Ministry officer’s wife when his mother politely asked if she could pull him away for a second. Thank God. he thought to himself as his mother managed to lead him to where she wanted him to go by the arm despite the fact that she was clearly far smaller in height and in build than the muscular Logan was. But he went with his mother quite willing. “Logan dear, the Bowmans have just arrived. I know you’ve been dying to see them.” She told him with a broad smile. Logan cleared his throat as he approached the smaller family of women. The first one he noticed was the youngest. The last time he’d seen her, she couldn’t have been no more than seven or eight. Now, she was wearing a silky green dress that was far too mature for her young age and makeup that screamed pretty much the same message-- “I’m trying to look older than I am.” He sighed. Then, he looked up at the mother. She was still a very beautiful and regal looking woman just as he had remembered her to be but she seemed older in a sense. The skin under her eyes was slightly darker than he remembered it and she had a sort of strong hardened expression that Logan knew was a result of losing so many loved ones. First a husband, now a daughter. No wonder Mrs. Bowman looked so stern and emotionless.

Logan was surprised he hadn’t noticed little Josephine Bowman anymore. Well, it was quite clear that “little” Josephine wasn’t quite so little anymore. It had been years since he had seen this girl and at first he didn’t even recognize who she was. The only thing that gave her away were the eyes. The electric blue eyes that were characteristic of Josephine Bowman for as long as he could remember. But there was definitely something drastically different about her eyes. Her external change was even easier to spot than the strict looking Mrs. Bowman or the daring younger Bowman girl. Logan didn’t need to be a trained Auror to notice the clear pain etched on her face almost as if someone had written the word across her forehead in big bold letters. But there was something else wrong…Logan could understand emotional pain after a loss. But Josephine seemed to be experiencing far more than emotional pain. Her pain seemed to reach a physical level. It seemed as if something was physically wrong with her. He furrowed his brow but quickly turned to greet Mrs. Bowman with a strong handshake that he feared might have hurt her a bit. “It’s so great to see you again, Mrs. Bowman.” He said politely with the smallest hint of a smile. “My deepest condolences, by the way. I cannot explain to you the guilt I felt when I returned and mother told me what had happened. I should have been there for her.” He spoke solemnly. He then turned to greet her daughters. “I doubt you both remember me, but I used to be a friend of your sister’s. You both have changed so much.” He glanced up at Josephine. “Especially you, Josephine. If you don’t mind my asking, are you alright? Physically, I mean. You look like you’re hurt.” He told her as concern etched his voice. Even though he had trouble showing his soft side, it was clear to anyone with eyes that Logan had been raised by a kind mother. The evidence was clear every time he spoke.

((oh my gosh this is so long. I only just realized.. ))

[Josephine Bowman S7]

Logan Brennan…the features of his face, though much younger finally seemed to strike some older memory in her mind. She remembered him more than her little sister did, that was for sure. The thing that really flared to life in her though was that old school girl crush she used to have on him. It was a pleasant enough memory…funny as it was, it was still pleasant to remember that she had once cared about something and someone before she had lost all interest in the world and her own life, after her sister had died. Josephine Bowman had become rigid at the mention of her sister’s death…Logan’s words were nice and truthful, but Jo didn’t want to listen to them. Her mother seemed to take them in stride, trying to put on a brave face, but she was never one for really managing a stoic appearance when it came to her daughter’s death. Josephine, on the other hand, was very good at them. Her emotionless state of mind seemed cold and uncaring to the eye, but deep down it was the ever-crashing waves of a hurricane. Mind seemed fuzzy suddenly just before the headache began.

Josephine was clearly not doing well…the drug she depended on was strong, very strong and now as her body sobered and slipped into need and want for a drug she’d hardly gone without for the last six or seven months it was apparent how dependent she had become on it. Her hands were still shaking and she was trying her best to get control of her stomach that thought it’d be fun to start cramping every few moments, wracking her insides with pain and yet at the same time need. The only thing she’d not taken into account was the fact that her physical reactions would be noticeable to anyone who took a moment to actually look and then she’d have to explain herself to anyone that felt kind enough to ask. Really she didn’t think much of it, because most people wouldn’t care. Most of the people she’d grown up around were Purebloods and most of those Purebloods didn’t care about anyone else other than themselves. So imagine Josephine’s shock when Logan asked her. It was somewhere between embarrassing at being caught and awe at the fact he had noticed. Josephine’s own mother hadn’t even noticed…she never seemed to notice her anymore. It was something that Josephine had learn to deal with though over the last few years and even more so in the last few months.

Logan was concerned…concerned in a seemingly curious way. Jo waved her hand at him as she nodded…the world twirling around her, like she was on some sort of Muggle Tilt-A-World. All she needed was to get out of there. Just leave…turn around and walk out of the house…back to her own home……no back to Stephen’s. It was the only way she’d make it through the night. If within an hour or so since the high had left her she’d already gotten to this point, she knew that there was no way she’d be able to make it through the rough night ahead of her. “Jo, just Jo and I’m not all right actually,” Josephine said her eyes flickering to her mother. “I’m not feeling well and think it’s best if I head back home.” Her mother’s concerned eyes had fallen on her after Logan’s words and the world truly did seem like it was spinning now. She could hardly keep her balance anymore. “I had no idea you weren’t feeling well Josephine…you should have said something. We’ll just head back home and…” Jo’s mother started going off and Josephine knew that her lie wouldn’t work if that happened, her hand going up to cut her mother off. “I just need to rest…I’ll be all right on my own. No need for you to miss this party when I am perfectly fine to take the Floo Network home.” The words wouldn’t have seemed so ridiculous had the world not dove right before her, her own balance falling out from under her. Legs seemed like jelly, as she had to reach out for the nearest person to keep from falling. Unfortunately that just so happened to be Logan, who was already far too observant for his own good. She could only imagine what thoughts would pop into his mind at the obvious signs of her physical ailment. No doubt her mother would already be so worried that she’d go home with her instead of staying here. She forgot at that moment that she was still holding on to Logan and though she wanted her physical space…she suddenly realized that her legs weren’t really listening to her anymore and weren’t in any shape to hold her up. “…Perhaps I do need assistance back home…” Jo said in a defeated voice, her plans to go to Stephen’s were quickly fading.

[loganb]

Josephine, or Jo as she preferred to be called seemed almost taken aback by Logan’s question. It was almost as if no one had ever bothered to ask her such a question before. Logan thought for a second, looking first at the pained expression on Jo’s face then to the expression on her mother’s. Perhaps Josephine had sort of faded into the background since her older sister’s death? The Bowman girls lived a life that was much like the life he used to lead before he graduated and began his career as an Auror. Full of those constantly preoccupied men and women who never seemed to really even notice even the most obvious of problems that were often staring at them right in the face. Logan had a feeling that as wonderful of a woman Logan remembered Mrs. Bowman to me, she had failed to notice the struggles of her own daughter. He took subtle notice of the youngest Bowman child. She was obviously in pain as well, but her childhood innocence protected her from feeling the magnitude of heartache that her older family members felt for the loss of her eldest sister.

Logan sighed. In Brianna’s absence, her family was falling apart. Logan remembered the high importance Brianna had in her family. She cared for all of them because her mother never really did a sufficient job of caring for her daughters as well. They’d be out playing Quidditch or just enjoying each other’s company and Brianna would have to rush home to make sure both of her sisters had dinner on the table and went to bed on time. Family was Brianna’s life. It seemed her family heavily depended on her presence as well, because now that Brianna wasn’t around to be the glue that held the Bowman women together, they were falling to pieces. The Bowman girls--Josephine especially were Logan’s key to making it up to Brianna for not being there during her dying days. Seeing this image of her now broken family would have broken her heart. Logan would do his best to help this family come to terms with their beloved Brianna’s death as well as find their way into stability. How he’d be able to do this without sacrificing his work was a temporary mystery to him, but he would make it work. He had to, for his dear friend Brianna. It was the right thing to do and he’d get the job done at all costs.

Logan felt a bit guilty for putting the family on the spot in such a way, because just as soon as Logan had finished saying the word ‘condolences’, they all went rigid. Mrs. Bowman put on a very political type of face, as if she was trying to hide the pain of the subject and failing. The two girls each went silent and cold. Obviously they weren’t in any state to be talking about Brianna just yet. Then there was Logan’s second concerned comment about Josephine‘s health. It wasn’t often that Logan felt he had to watch his tongue, but this was definitely one of those rare occasions. All eyes turned to face Josephine. Even Logan’s mother, who had been deeply involved in a conversation with a young red-haired woman (probably just another girl she’d invited to meet her ‘darling’ son) rushed to Logan and Josephine’s side. Keira’s expression turned quickly from that of a happy entertainer to a worried mother. “Dear, Logan’s right. You don’t look well. I’d hate myself if I ever let you travel home in this condition. We have plenty of quiet rooms upstairs you can lay down in. Logan dear, why don’t you--” It was then that Keira’s fretting was cut off. It seemed like all the muscles in Josephine’s legs just stopped working as she fell onto him. His arms had been at his sides, but thankfully his reflexes were quick enough that he was able to catch her before she fell.

Logan glanced down at the attractive teenager who had just fallen into his arms and took note of the fact that she really hated this situation. She seemed like she just wanted to be left alone, though her body clearly wasn’t going to allow that just yet. “Mother, the noise of the guests will never let her rest. I’ll aparate her home and make sure she’s taken care of. I’ll make sure to be back as soon as I can.” H said dutifully, trying to calm his mother. There was clearly something seriously wrong with the young girl he was keeping standing with the support of his arms. His mother bit her lip nervously. “Are you sure Logan? I mean, I’m not even sure she’s well enough for side-along aparation.” She said, glancing back at Josephine with a clearly worried expression. Logan sighed. “If she’s not well enough to hold on to my arm, then she’s surely not well enough to get up our huge staircase. I’ll take care of her mother. That is, if Mrs. Bowman allows me to. She nodded and Logan nodded. “Well then, hold on tight.”

Logan tried very hard to picture the familiar foyer of the Bowman household. It had been a few years since he’d even seen the place, but he was still able to get them both there without any sort of problems. When they arrived, Logan couldn’t help but smirk slightly at the sight of the place. Every corner of the place reminded him of the Brianna he remembered. He looked down at Josephine and helped her into a large and comfortable looking armchair. Thinking on his feet, he summoned a glass of water to his hands with his wand and handed it to her. “Drink this. Hopefully it will make you feel better. “Do you know what’s gotten your body to act this way? Usually not even the most malicious of fevers can render a person unable to stand.” He said, furrowing his eyebrow as he tried to think of a reason for her to be so weak.

[Josephine Bowman S7]

Josephine didn’t know what to say as Logan and his mother seemed to argue back in forth without really fighting. It was merely Logan telling his mother what was best and having her finally agree. She wasn’t sure if that meant that Logan was used to get his own way with his mother or if he was just right in this circumstance. Josephine’s body started shaking again and she simply forgot to even care. Nothing seemed right anymore and so she just held tight to Logan’s arm…like she was old friends with him, even though Brianna had always been the one friends with him. She tried to help him picture her house…tried to do something, but her mind was so clouded nothing seemed to come out right. The world seemed to squeeze around her for a moment…like the air was being sucked out around her and she was being forced through a tube. She had to close her eyes to keep her world from flipping upside down.

As the world slowly seemed to fade back the way it was supposed to be and she now longer felt confined her eyes slowly opened. Deep blue orbs opened not only on her house but also on the guy who had gotten her there. Now he was her one obstacle to getting more drugs in her system. That was the only way to help her and she knew it. The world was becoming painfully more real to her by every second and as he helped her into a large armchair she couldn’t help feel more than trapped. How was she going to get rid of this guy? He summoned her water and then started in on the questions. Oh yeah I know exactly what’s made me so unstable, but mentioning drugs in front of an Auror is probably a bad idea… she thought to herself as she took the glass of water in her hands. It shook as she raised it to her lips taking a sip of the cool water. She didn’t look at him…her brain trying to think of some excuse for her current condition. There was nothing that could be done. She couldn’t hide the shakes that she had and she couldn’t hide the pale complexion or the fact that every moment seemed to leave her with a deeper craving than ever before.

“Must have just been a fleeting thing…you know I’m feeling much better now…I’m sure you can go back to your party now without so much worrying…” Josephine said with as strong a voice as possible. She knew it was probably rather pathetic and it was obvious by her shaking hands that she wasn’t okay, but there was no way she would be okay at all if he didn’t leave. She had to find a vial…there had to be one somewhere in her room…one that she may have forgotten about before. All she needed was a drop. It would last her through the rest of the day and when she went back to Stephen’s that night everything would be okay. She’d make it up to him…let him do the things he tried to do the night before and then she’d get more. It was how it worked…he was her supplier and her boyfriend…whether or not it was a good situation it was the one she was in and she was willing to make it work just so long as she got her drugs. She winced a little as her abdomen muscles cramped up. She was anxious and in need of the liquid that would feed her addiction. The room was hot and yet she was starting to freeze. Was this guy ever going to leave?