Alone ((Closed))

[Lynne Collins]

((Set in Bordeaux, France.))

((Majorly featuring Lisette Arceneau...))



((...And Mathieu Fitzroy.))

Year One.
June.

“I’ll miss you.”

“Stay safe. Don’t forget to come back.”

“Two years,” Lynne promised her brother, without so much as a laugh or a smile. She didn’t seem like Lynne Collins at all. Lynne Collins had always been smiling and laughing and joking. She would never have even considered leaving her family behind. “I’ll be back in two years. That’s a promise.”

“You’ve promised me things before.” Kael’s eyes met her, brown clashing with green in silent accusation until Lynne dropped her gaze with frustrated shame.

“Look out for Seth, yeah? He needs someone like you right now. And you need someone to look after sometimes. And when I get back...” Lynne trailed off, finding it difficult to swallow past the lump in her throat then smiled shakily, her expression tremulous and tearful. “When I get back I’ll be really mad if you haven’t published anything. Don’t waste your life, Kael. You’re better than that. You’re better than I am.”

For a moment, there was silence. Pure, unbroken silence that could never be awkward because they were just Kael and Lynne again, the Collins twins with nothing that could break their bond. Then Kael turned his head, his stance turning defensive and uncomfortable as he nodded his head at Lynne’s watch pointedly. Time to go. They had already lingered on the platform for too long; nearly everyone else had left. Their parents would be worried about Kael if he didn’t return home soon to pick up the keys to his new flat. The flat that they would have been sharing if Lynne had been staying in England. She could still share it. She could just ignore her plane ticket to France and apparate home with Kael instead of to the airport. She could, but she wouldn’t. Lynne was stronger than that. She couldn’t lean on her brother and share in his strength for the rest of her life. She could stand alone. With that playing in her mind like a mantra, Lynne hugged her twin brother for the last time in the next few years and grabbed her trunk as she apparated to a quiet, lonely spot a few minutes away from Heathrow Airport.

The actual flight to Bordeaux didn’t take long, though Lynne grasped at her seat with irrational terror as the plane first took off and started to fly. She had flown on a broomstick and travelled by portkey and floo powder. Never before had she even seen a plane, except in pictures during Muggle Studies. Logically, she knew that it could fly. It had to fly and it had to be reasonably safe otherwise Muggles wouldn’t use them so frequently or with such confidence. That didn’t prevent her immediate terror or her relief when the plane finally landed and she could step onto safe, solid ground once more. She had studied up on Muggle transport and planned her journey well; everything went according to plan and Lynne ended up at the front doors of her Muggle culinary institute with plenty of time to spare. She just hadn’t expected that things would be so different. Not just because everyone was speaking French instead of English; Lynne had been to France before and she knew the language. It was just the sheer Muggleness of the place, which had also been expected since she was going to be living and working in the Muggle part of Bordeaux. Everything was nearly overwhelming and Lynne missed Kael with so much more fervency as she gazed around hopelessly before pushing open the door and walking inside.

It was a decent enough looking school, Lynne noted with pleasure as she headed over to the reception so that she could finalise the sign up process. Every other part of her application had been done by letter so Lynne had been informed that she would need to prove that she actually existed, as opposed to being a childish prank to waste time, by finishing her application by sitting through an interview with the headmaster. The classes would all be taught in French, obviously, so she also needed to prove that she had a firm grasp on the language. No tutors or linguistic aids would be provided for her unless she purchased them herself.

After signing a few forms that needed to be filled in, Lynne was escorted to the headmaster’s office. The institute was nothing like Hogwarts in any way, shape or form. Lynne had yet to decide if she was grateful or wistful about that detail. The headmaster, a middle aged man of little hair and many smiles, seemed quite friendly though, shaking her hand firmly and leaning forward enthusiastically to start the interview after ushering her to a comfortable seat and calling for a cup of tea for his English student. If nothing else, Lynne presumed wryly, she would at least be a rare commodity amongst the French students if the headmaster’s reaction to her was anything to judge by.

[Lynne Collins]

July.

France wasn’t just an entirely different country; it was a completely different world. There was no Kael to remind her that she hadn’t done something or other, or to bring her back down to earth when Lynne’s thought patterns and enthusiasm spiralled wildly out of control. She couldn’t glimpse at the hidden disappointment of her parents that only ever really appeared when Lynne stumbled over a name that would have been easy to pronounce for even a young child. It happened less and less often as Lynne grew older and had more control over her tongue but there was always the initial bewildered intake of breath at a first meeting. She had never quite grown accustomed to that. For her vision alone, colour danced over her eyes when she spoke words and names. Words were easier to deal with; Lynne had trained herself to ignore the bright splashes of colour that formed a haze over her vision as she spoke them. Kael had helped. Kael had helped so much, with his lists of words and his thesauruses. Every word had been drilled into her until the colours were little more than unnoticeable. Names were different. Names were new and brighter. That would be the worst part about France, as she repeated the French names back to their owners with a pleasant, if slightly distracted and distant smile. The language was easier. Lynne had been taught French during her childhood, along with a few other languages. She wasn’t fluent in any of them, far from it, but she had near perfect memory recall. Her synaesthesia might have been seen as a curse by her parents, but it came with a few extra gifts that Lynne enjoyed to the fullest.

Her hotel room wasn’t the greatest. Lynne couldn’t afford to splash out on expensive rooms. Her classes started in September and she needed a permanent place to stay before then. As such, she had the advertisements for a needed flatmate spread out in front of her on the carpet. One or two were circled in different coloured pens. Yellow for those that appealed to her most and purple for those that she would settle for if there was absolutely no other option available to her. She would probably be getting on better if her mind wasn’t otherwise occupied. She had left so much of her life behind, in England. Kael had needed her to, even if he didn’t quite realise it yet. Knowing her twin brother as she did, he probably wouldn’t realise it until she returned and he exasperatedly asked her why she had given him so many things for him to keep until she needed them. He needed the tangible promise that she would come back. Kael didn’t deal in vague, hazy promises of ‘if’ or ‘perhaps’. He wanted certainties, and that was the very least that Lynne could give him. She wasn’t going to write or send presents or reassurances that she was doing fine even without him. Except on their birthday. The muggle pen being twirled in Lynne’s left hand paused for a short moment before resuming its orbit. They had exchanged gifts early this year. Or rather, Lynne had snuck a present into Kael’s trunk before he had finished packing and he had shoved hers at her with a few gruff, mumbled words of explanation. Lynne smiled faintly, the expression oddly awkward, as if she had forgotten how to move her mouth. She missed Kael. She really did. Just not enough to leave without accomplishing what she had fled from Britain for. Lynne hated to admit defeat. She always had. Kael would understand. He always did.

“Mademoiselle?”

That would be the waiter with the room service she had ordered, she realised after a moment of blinking dazedly at the door without recognition. “Entrez.” Lynne called softly, smiling and twisting to scramble to her feet without care for dignity or elegance as she stepped forward to relieve him of the plate he carried for her. “Merci. Il sent bon. Donner mon appréciation au chef, s'il vous plaît.” The old man appeared delighted to hear that one of the guests at the hotel spoke decent French, clasping at her hand and chattering away rapidly before saying a cheerful farewell and practically skipping out of the room. Too many people went to a country without knowing the language, Lynne surmised with a small smile. The poor man had probably struggled through his job, relying on relatively poor English that didn’t serve him well at all. Even if his English was perfect it was most likely pleasant to meet someone who had learnt the language of the country and used it in conversation. It would certainly explain why he had offered his services as a waiter or a tour guide or as a source of knowledge and advice whenever she needed him. She would be taking him up on that offer, Lynne decided with a hasty glance at the disorganised papers strewn about the floor of her room. She was getting absolutely nowhere and the man might know of some people who needed a flatmate to pay half the expenses of living away from home. Even if he didn’t, he could possibly give her a better idea of where to look. Lynne had planned her flight well; she just hadn’t thought much about life beyond the running away.

One of the things that Lynne had left behind for Kael was Jupiter. The little white cat wouldn’t have enjoyed the flight to France or being restricted to a small hotel room. Or being parted from her brother. Jupiter wouldn’t have enjoyed that at all. Lynne wasn’t overly thrilled about it either. Two years; her training lasted for two years. Two years in a strange country, with unfamiliar people, without Kael or Seth or Aurora. Without Danny. Some of her tension ebbed away immediately though her sign was one of mixed pain and relief. A life without Danny Lowell would be paradise and a nightmare. She loved him even when he hurt her and left her without a word, not once but twice, and the heart wasn’t known for amazing regenerative properties. At least in France, the only place that held memories of him at his best and his worst was her own mind. Lynne was talented, in her own way, but she couldn’t flee from her own mind.


((Mademoiselle – Miss
Entrez – Enter
Merci. Il sent bon. Donner mon appréciation au chef, s'il vous plait. – Thank you. It smells delicious. Give my appreciation to the chef, please.))

[Lynne Collins]

((From now onwards, any speech is in French unless mentioned otherwise.))

August.

Lynne had been wrong about her judgement of the elderly waiter’s helpfulness but that was fine. She couldn’t be right all of the time. It was a bit irritating though. Lately her judgement of people just seemed to be ridiculously off-kilter. She couldn’t get anything right recently. Even Kael would be better with people. That provoked a bitter laugh from her even as Lynne knocked on the door in front of her, her left hand grasping a crumpled piece of paper desperately. She needed this flat. Time was running out for her to find a place to live before her new school year started and she couldn’t just stay in a hotel for much longer. Her money simply wouldn’t run to such ridiculous extravagance.

The door opened after a few minutes of patient waiting, and Lynne scrutinised the face gazing at her with a Kael-like intensity. Blonde hair, bright blue eyes, a reasonably slim figure. That told her nothing about personality but the faint laugh lines that crinkled the slightly older woman’s eyes did and so Lynne smiled tentatively, the French words coming nearly as easily to her tongue as English ones did. “You have an ad for a roommate?” As proof, Lynne’s left hand lifted to show the paper to the woman, who nodded eagerly and opened the door further to permit Lynne to enter. The flat was clean and tidy, with everything in a place and a place for everything. The walls were painted a bold, bright purple that reminded Lynne of Hogwarts in no way at all. Yes, Lynne decided impulsively. This would be the place for her if she could get along with the woman who owned it.

“I’m Lisette Arceneau, dear. I really should warn you though; I’m pregnant. The baby won’t arrive for another six months or so, but some people just don’t like children and absolutely refused to even consider moving in after I told them about the baby.”

Lisette looked so utterly downcast at that moment that Lynne couldn’t help but to gently press the elder woman into an armchair. The other blonde regarded Lynne with bemusement and curiousity for a moment before she laughed and held out her hand to Lynne with a wide grin. Her own smile was significantly smaller and awkward, a clear sign that she hadn’t smiled sincerely in a long time, but Lynne accepted the hand without hesitation.

“I’m Lynne Collins, and your baby won’t bother me at all. I absolutely adore children.”

[Lynne Collins]

September.

As Lynne rushed through the flat they shared with increasingly desperation and urgency, Lisette rested in an armchair and watched her flatmate with an openly perplexed smile. They had yet to truly adjust to each other. They had only been living together for a few days over two weeks after all. Lynne couldn’t fathom Lisette’s odd habit of rising a precisely 5:48 each morning and Lisette couldn’t abide the way Lynne insisted on making breakfast and dinner every day. She wasn’t helpless, the Frenchwoman snapped as a protest, only to be rebuffed by Lynne’s calmly pointed reminder of the classes she was taking at the culinary institute. She couldn’t be blamed for trying to sharpen her skills before she joined the ranks of far more talented students.

“You’ll do just fine, chere. Now go before you’re late. I can’t think of a worse impression to make on your first day!” Lisette’s smirk was mischievous as she all but shoved Lynne out of the door hurriedly, pushing her bag into her hand before closing the door behind them. “Have a good day at school. Now shoo, and let me go to work. I’ll be late tonight because of a doctor’s appointment so just make dinner for yourself,” Lisette called after her flustered flatmate, chuckling to herself as she observed Lynne nearly walk into the elevator door as it suddenly closed in front of her.

With wary green eyes, Lynne observed her new classmates as she stepped through the door to her new classroom. They all seemed to know each other already and were chattering away to each other in fluent French. As the door closed behind her with a quiet yet still audible noise, one woman looked up and beamed at Lynne warmly, springing to her feet energetically and crossing the room in a few long strides. Confused but pliable, Lynne allowed herself to be pulled across to the group that the woman had been sitting with.

“I’m Adélaïde,” the red-haired woman introduced herself with a small smile. “I’m your chosen tour guide, Lynne. You’re the youngest in the group, I’m afraid, but that’s okay because Alphonse over there – see, the man with the short black hair and the moustache? – is the eldest. He’s 35. Most of us are around 20. These are my friends, and now yours too! Because we’ve been assigned to work in the same group. That just means that we’ll work together to create new dishes and we’ll be put in the same placement for the last six months.” With the organised efficiency of someone who had done this many times before, Adélaïde pointed at the people sitting around the circular table and reeled off their names quickly. “Antoine, my boyfriend, and Amaury, his older brother. Victoire, Sabine, Thierry, and Julien-Patrice. Valérie is on holiday. As always. You’ll meet her tomorrow. She’s a spoilt little rich girl but we love her anyway. Especially Thierry; he’s her cousin.”

“We try to keep that a secret,” Thierry drawled lazily, flashing a quick smile filled with imperfectly white teeth at Lynne. “I’d rather not have everyone know that I’m related to a brat.”

So many names, and none of them even close to resembling the pale lilac glow of Lisette’s. As Lynne repeated them back to their owners with a hesitation that they would undoubtedly presume was due to shyness rather than the colours that accompanied their names, she blinked often in a futile attempt to bat away the colours dancing in front of her vision. Adélaïde, Antoine, Amaury; light green, bright blue, dark red. Victoire, Sabine, Thierry; pale yellow, dark green, maroon. Valérie, Julien-Patrice; golden yellow, silvery white.

“So why did you leave England?” Amaury pushed Antoine aside to smile at Lynne slowly. “Don’t feel pressured to share if you don’t want to. I’m just curious.”

“Yeah!” Adélaïde chimed in, the low pitch of her voice at complete odds with her short, almost boyish hair style but totally suited to her personality. “We’ve all been dying to know who this mysterious English girl is that I got assigned to show around.”

“We didn’t get told any more than your name and that you were from England,” Sabine reassured her with a small, sympathetic smile. “Don’t let these two or Valérie overwhelm you with questions. Just smack them or call me over to do it. I’m always happy to help if it involves causing bodily harm to our troublesome trio.”

Lynne laughed quietly, oblivious to the pointed glances that Thierry and Julien-Patrice, and Victoire and Antoine exchanged as she slowly got dragged into the conversation.

[Lynne Collins]

October.

Halloween had never been an important day for Lynne and Kael. They had dressed up sometimes when they were younger, and Lynne had taken especial pleasure in dressing Kael up as Tuxedo Mask while she and Aurora attended as Sailor Venus and Sailor Moon respectively not too long ago. If only they could have completed the group. That would have been so much fun.

Lynne and Danny had taken much more enjoyment in Halloween when they had still been close friends with only Lynne’s unrequited love to alternatively weaken or strengthen their bond. They had raided the sweets of Honeydukes and sat up telling scary stories all night, only to nearly fall asleep halfway through the next day. He had always dressed up as a vampire, complete with Muggle plastic fangs, and pretended to bite her neck at unexpected moments. Lynne had always felt a guilty, hidden thrill at having him so close to her. Halloween hadn’t been their day after his girlfriend had truly entered the picture though. Adrina had selfishly demanded all of Danny’s attention without a care for the friends who would miss him when he was off crawling after her. And Danny had never been good enough for her in Adrina’s eyes. Nothing he did was ever good enough for Adrina De Luca. Lynne would have given everything to have him gaze at her with even half as much adoration and love. Even worse, Lynne had been the one Danny asked for advice on how to make his girlfriend even happier. She was his closest girl friend; who else would he ask? As his best friend, Lynne had genuinely helped him. She had given him tips on how to impress the girl he was in love with and she had watched his success with growing bitterness.

Lisette had another hospital appointment and refused to allow Lynne to accompany her so Lynne had accepted Sabine’s offer to help take her younger siblings trick or treating. The children hadn’t even hit their teenage years yet, and all three of them were very bouncy and excitable about the evening ahead of them.

“We dress up as scary characters rather than the cute princesses that Americans prefer,” Sabine explained as she finished wrapping her younger brother in bandages and gestured for him to check his costume in the mirror before turning around to straighten her youngest sister’s green wig.

“And tomorrow we honour the dead,” Amaury added as he playfully spun the young girl around, smiling as she giggled and dizzily clung to his leg. “All Saints’ Day. That’s why the institute is closed. We take flowers to the cemeteries and go to church for religious ceremonies.”

“Adélaïde and Victoire’s families don’t let them celebrate Halloween though. They’re very traditional. It’s too commercial for them.” As she glared at Amaury and smacked at him good-humouredly, Sabine snatched her little sister away from him to fix her sheet so that she looked more like the ghost she was supposed to be. “So Antoine and Valérie keep them company at Adél’s house and they watch movies all night instead. Amaury and I always take the little ones out though. It’s a bit of fun for them and he loves to steal their chocolates.”

“What about Thierry?” Lynne asked curiously, hoisting Michel into her arms when he tugged at her leg insistently. “And Julien-Patrice?” The group of friends, now including Lynne, tended to be very close-knit. It was unusual for someone to be left out of an event or an outing unless they were already busy.

“They go out partying,” Amaury told her with a wry smile, his eyes flickering to the young children pointedly to signal that the activities of the other three on Halloween night weren’t appropriate for younger ears. “They were going to invite you but Sabine had already claimed you for this holiday. They’ll try to get you to go out with them at Christmas unless we plan something as a group.”

Oh. Well, at least Lynne knew which of her friends to go to if she ever felt that she needed to check out Bordeaux’s nightlife. Though as Michel cuddled into her and Lynne automatically readjusted her grip to hold him more securely, she didn’t really think that a night of partying would have been more fun than taking Sabine’s three siblings out in search of free chocolate. She would even have given up a Halloween night with Danny for the feeling of being with close friends that warmed her when Sabine and Amaury hugged her at the end of the night and Sabine worriedly ordered Amaury to walk Lynne back home in case any mischievous children tried to bother her.

[Lynne Collins]

November.

Eyes red-rimmed with tears and still blurred from sleep, Lynne stumbled into the kitchen of the flat and collapsed into a hard wooden chair. Her hair was still matted and wild from her restless sleep but she didn’t even think about raising a hand in an attempt to tame the blonde locks. What did it matter? Lisette had seen her in the mornings before, although not quite as early as this. So what did anything matter?

“Can’t sleep?” Lisette herself looked drawn and haunted, her blue eyes dull and weary in the dark lighting. Having not noticed her flatmate until she spoke up, Lynne recoiled for a moment before relaxing once more.

“Nightmares.” With only that as an explanation, Lynne’s hand slowly crept across the table and circled around the mug in front of Lisette. Hot chocolate, she discerned from the taste. Not as good as tea but it would do. After a mouthful of the cooled liquid, Lynne let her head drop on the hard surface of the table with only a muttered expletive when her head started to hurt from the force.

“I thought I heard you crying. You want to talk about it?”

Lynne shook her head wordlessly, not bothering to lift her head from its bowed position. She didn’t want to talk about Danny. She couldn’t tell Lisette about the cruel things he had said to her and done to her. She couldn’t tell her about what Danny had wanted her to do to the only innocent in their complicated and hurtful situation.

“Then I’ll talk. There’s no point in just sitting here silently. I’m 34 years old and my parents kicked me out of their lives when I got pregnant and my boyfriend ran out on me. I’m terrified of being a bad mother or that my child won’t love me. I want to be able to know my child, Lynne.” Lisette trailed off into silence and Lynne lifted her head, horrified to see that Lisette had started crying, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs.

“My boyfriend broke my heart because he was in love with my twin brother’s girlfriend. Danny and Adrina had dated before and he got her pregnant,” Lynne told her friend quietly. “Then Danny had to move away to Russia and I lost my best friend. He came back when I was sixteen, told me that he came back for me and that he loved me. Kael had started dating Adrina a few months earlier. I sometimes wonder if Danny somehow knew that already.” Her bottom lip started to tremble and Lynne pressed a hand against her mouth, desperately fighting back tears. After a moment of unbroken silence, the tears subsided and Lynne was able to continue. “We were happy for about six months. He regained my trust and I had his love. I’d wanted him to love me since I was thirteen. It was like a dream come true. Then he asked me to take Adrina’s daughter, his daughter, so that he could spend some time with her. He wanted me to kidnap an innocent baby and I couldn’t do it.” Idly, her fingers traced a circle around her right wrist, remembering times when Danny had grabbed her too tightly or pulled her after him without care for his superior strength. She couldn’t trust him with a baby. It had broken her heart but she had turned him down and he had turned on her. “He spent the night with me then essentially told me that I was worthless by leaving while I was still sleeping. He didn’t even leave a note. He was just...gone.”

Lisette had silently moved to kneel next to Lynne and now coaxed her into a warm embrace, holding her as Lynne started to cry in earnest. Heartbroken, muffled wails and sobs came from Lynne as she had never let them before. All the while, Lisette merely tightened her arms around the younger woman, ran her hand over Lynne’s hair soothingly and never once shushed her tormented cries. This was a comfort that Kael could never have offered Lynne. He was too closed off, too defensive and uncomfortable with tears. She would have been selfish to cry in front of him. Seth was equally as helpless, and Lynne would never have burdened Aurora with her tears when the other girl concealed so many of her own.

Once her tears had come to a slow stop, Lynne rested her forehead against Lisette’s shoulder and mumbled an apology. In response, Lisette slowly hefted herself to her feet and offered a hand to help Lynne up from the chair.

“I’ll keep the nightmares away tonight, petite. Come on, go to bed.”

[Lynne Collins]

December.

Lisette was chattering on happily about how different Christmas would be when the children arrived – twins; she was having twins – but Lynne didn’t hear a word of it. She hadn’t really heard anything since she had realised that Lisette was pregnant with not one child but two. Twins. Like her and Kael. Would they have such a strong bond? Would they be a boy and a girl? Would the boy guard his sister with the same protective ferocity that Kael had displayed towards her? It wasn’t as if Lynne would ever know; she hadn’t changed her plans to leave after two years. She wouldn’t be there to watch the twins grow up. Lisette would never leave France. Lynne didn’t even have to ask to know that. Lisette loved her country with such patriotic pride and devotion.

“Lynne!”

The outraged screech broke through Lynne’s reverie and she jerked back instinctively, nearly tumbling off her chair as she stared at Lisette with wide eyes.

“Either cheer up or get out of my flat, Lynne! I won’t have you ruining my Christmas. It’s not fair.” Her expression was angry but the blue eyes held unshed tears as Lisette continued, making Lynne feel even guiltier for her wandering attention and bad mood. “I know you miss your family. I do too. But you chose to leave Kael and your friend behind. I didn’t get given a choice. If anyone should be mournful and dwelling on happier times, it should be me.”

Lynne’s stricken expression deepened and Lisette softened slightly, holding out a hand to beckon the younger woman to her side. Lynne timidly crept closer, smiling gratefully when Lisette returned the smile slowly and passed over a book of baby names for her to peruse. They had agreed that Lynne would choose a first name for one child and the middle name for the second twin.

“Jason,” Lynne announced after a few hours of flicking through the pile of books stacked on the floor next to her. “Jason for a boy, and Brielle for a girl. They’re such pretty names.”

“What if I have two girls? Or two boys?”

“That won’t happen.” Lynne shook her head firmly, her expression unwaveringly resolute as she glanced upward at Lisette with a soft smile. “A boy and a girl. I’d bet on it.”

“Like you and Kael,” Lisette murmured quietly, her features serene and thoughtful. “Jason Zander Arceneau and Allette Brielle Arceneau then. Jason and Allette.”

[Lynne Collins]

January.

“I just don’t get this. I can’t do it!” Lip curled in disgust, Victoire slammed her recipe book shut bad-temperedly, flicking a hand at Julien-Patrice furiously when he moved closer to help her. “I’ll do it myself or not at all,” she snapped, apparently satisfied when he shrugged and stepped back to his own counter.

Behind her back, Amaury and Sabine shared a wry glance that made Lynne snicker silently as she looked away from her cooking for a moment. Victoire had never been friendly towards Lynne, making it perfectly clear that she was intruding on a close group of friends that were too polite to refuse her company. It wasn’t true for all of them: Sabine and Amaury were constantly over at the flat or inviting Lynne out to spend time with them. It was just a bit more awkward now that they had started dating. Lynne was tired of being a third wheel. The same thing happened with Antoine and Adélaïde. They were just so in love that they blocked out everything around them. The other two boys tolerated her well enough, especially Thierry since he delighted in trying to flirt with Lynne.

“Good work, Adél,” the professor complimented with a calm nod of his head. “Stir the sauce more thoroughly to get rid of any remaining lumps. Amaury, Antoine; good as ever. Sabine, your food isn’t cooked throughout. Get it back in the oven before you poison someone! Thierry, stop distracting Julien-Patrice. Both of you have to start again now. Victoire...have you even started? Go and join your two friends over there at different work stations. Lynne,” he paused for a moment then smiled, a rare expression for the strict man. “Nicely done. Full marks. Would you mind going over to help Victoire while I finish checking on everyone?”

Her smile was wide and delighted but Lynne managed to nod calmly while the teacher was still looking. It was only when he turned, striding away to the other counters that Lynne let out a quiet, celebratory squeal of pure unadulterated excitement. She was actually growing into a professional chef!

[Lynne Collins]

February.

“You haven’t put a foot wrong in nearly an entire month. You’re so far ahead of the rest of us that it’s utterly ridiculous. Trust me; you can afford to take a night off.”

That was probably true, Lynne reasoned thoughtfully. She had been doing so well in her culinary classes. Just as one would expect from a Ravenclaw. An ex-Ravenclaw. Still. The sorting was determined due to qualities, and sectors of a personality didn’t disappear simply because of graduation. She deserved a night of fun, surely. Living in the Muggle world and being surrounded by the Muggles who had never even heard of Hogwarts, Lynne was starting to realise one vital piece of information that had never once been taught to her in the wizarding world. Muggles got to stay in childhood for longer; they had university after high school for those who didn’t want to get a job straight away. Witches and wizards didn’t really have that option.

“Maybe you’re right,” she consented, green eyes bright with good cheer and laughter as Adélaïde cheered gleefully then wrapped her arms around Lynne with unhidden excitement. She did deserve this, Lynne convinced herself firmly, ignoring the tight throb of guilt in her chest when she was reminded of Kael, waiting back at home for her without even a letter from his twin sister. The first year was nearly over. Only seventeen months of her self-imposed exile from Britain were left. For as long as she still thought of Danny, Lynne would not return home.

“I can’t go.” Victoire announced suddenly, her expression sulky as she glared at Lynne heatedly then stood and marched off without another word.

Left behind, the remaining students exchanged uneasy glances. Sabine looked completely unaffected, her arm still wound around Amaury’s waist, who appeared almost amusingly guilty as he glanced between Lynne, Adélaïde and the place where Victoire usually sat when they were all gathered in the café. Thierry and Valérie, so very much alike even as they protested the similarity fervently, shrugged in unison as if to signal that Victoire wasn’t their responsibility before dragging Julien-Patrice into an argument about why the other was always copying them.

“I’ll go after her,” Antoine offered after a moment of hesitation, rising to his feet without waiting for a protest or agreement. Amaury, Lynne noticed with innocent curiousity, opened his mouth but then evidently thought better of it and snapped his jaw shut without saying anything. How unusual. The two brothers were never shy of saying anything to each other. They lived together, and Sabine often complained that Antoine walked into Amaury’s room when she was there simply because Antoine claimed that Amaury never knocked before he entered his younger brother’s room.

Adél stared after her boyfriend with frustrated helplessness for a short moment before fixing a bright smile to her face as she turned back to her friends. “So, where should we go? There’s a new club opened up a few streets away. You should warn Lisette that you’ll be back late,” she added for Lynne’s benefit helpfully.

“Would it be best if I didn’t go?” Lynne asked hesitantly, concerned about the rift that her arrival had seemed to create in the group of friends. “You could call Victoire back, and then Antoine would be able to go out too.”

“Don’t worry about Victoire.” Amaury offered his advice grimly. “She’ll be just fine with Antoine looking after her. I’m certain of it.”

[Lynne Collins]

March.

Rushing about like an idiot with no plan in life was starting to become routine for her, Lynne acknowledged wryly as she pulled a filled suitcase from under Lisette’s bed hurriedly then rushed into the lounge to check that the pregnant woman hadn’t moved even so much as an inch. Lisette’s smile was tolerant, if slightly irritated so Lynne, feeling suitably chided, dropped the suitcase to the floor gently and allowed herself to collapse heavily into a chair. Things were just so hectic and chaotic; there wasn’t time to relax anymore, nor did Lynne feel the need to. It was early March, and Lisette was due to give birth soon. To twins. Twins. The concept still bewildered Lynne. Her friend, who looked ever more haggard and pale every day, was going to be a mother.

There was a pained sound from Lisette’s direction. Lynne’s head snapped up, her brain and ears alert and she scrambled to heave herself from the chair and skid across the distance separating them to kneel at Lisette’s feet. Her knees ached from hitting the wooden floor so harshly but Lynne ignored the fleeting pain to peer at her flatmate with worried eyes. The older woman’s breathing was heavy, more like panting, but she spared a strained smile that did nothing to alleviate Lynne’s nerves.

Were the babies coming? They couldn’t be coming; not yet. It simply wasn’t possible. They weren’t at the hospital yet. The car hadn’t arrived to pick them up and deliver them to the maternity ward.

It took a few moments for any visible ease to soften the tense facets of Lisette’s face but she eventually exhaled gratefully, one hand still lightly pressing against her stomach. Was pregnancy always so painful? Lynne wondered thoughtfully, her mind otherwise occupied even as her hands automatically steadied Lisette’s attempts to rise to her feet with any semblance of grace or dignity. The two of them, four if the unborn twins were included in the equation, had formed a wordless, comfortable dance around the other’s movements that extended even to the most awkward moments of the pregnancy. Little needed to be verbalised; if Lisette needed Lynne then she would be there, without any questions asked. It was the least that she could do for the woman who had held her when she wept for her past and promised to guide her to a better future.

It remained unsaid between them but Lynne owed Lisette so very much that she couldn’t ever repay it all in full. Unrealised by Lynne was the fact that Lisette owed her equally as much, and perhaps more. The bond between the two women was so unshakeably solid merely because they were there for each other when they had no one else to turn to.

[Lynne Collins]

April.

This felt wrong, so very wrong. She shouldn’t be present during this. It was too private, too intimate for mere friendship. This was old regrets and new life. Like so many other times in her life, Lynne choked back a gasp, shook her head and slowly started her attempts to back out of the room and run far, far away. A small, barely noticeable twitch of a pale hand against white sheets stopped her frantic movements instantly. She was wanted; she was needed and her promise stopped her from taking flight once more. Blue met green and Lynne took a step, then another and then so many more until she was at the side of the hospital bed, clinging onto Lisette’s hand and being clung to in return.

“I’m here,” Lynne soothed calmly, no sign of hesitation or turmoil as she smiled slowly. “I’m going to be here all the way. Promise. We talked this through with the hospital weeks ago, remember? They won’t make me leave. They won’t. They can’t.”

“But what if you want to leave? If it gets too much.”

“It won’t,” Lynne answered simply, settling in to wait for however long it took as the two paediatricians closed the door behind them. “I’m not leaving. Trust me.”

There were so many responses that could be snapped at her for that comment. She wouldn’t be leaving? That was what Lynne did best. When things got too hard, she gathered her things and left. She had proved that when Danny left her for the second time. She could tell herself how different things were now until her voice grew hoarse but it wouldn’t change the facts. Not unless she actually stuck to her word and stayed in the room until both children were born and Lisette’s agony was over. Kael wouldn’t have believed her, but Lisette nodded wearily and tightened her crushing grip on Lynne’s fingers as another contraction wracked through her body.

“Push!”

Seconds, minutes, maybe hours had ticked past on the clock hung on the wall but all Lynne registered was the insistently yelled need for Lisette to push. So she copied the command with her own obstinate voice until the first wordless cry that came from a mouth other than Lisette’s echoed around the room. The relief was nearly overwhelming. This was nearly over; one baby had been born and there was only one more left to come forth into the world. With delicate gentleness and care, Lynne pushed away the sweat-soaked strands of blonde hair from Lisette’s face then nodded in acquiescence to the unspoken plea.

For the first time since the ordeal had began, Lynne uncurled her fingers from Lisette’s and pulled away, turning her back to her friend to greet the small baby. “A boy,” Lynne breathed, full of awe and reverence as she ran a light touch across the baby’s head. “Jason,” she informed Lisette in a louder pitch. “Your boy. Jason. Just Allette left now.”

A second cry rang through the room and Lynne froze, her limbs locked with terror. Both babies had cried; they were fine. The paediatricians were fussing over them with the most clinical competence, pulling Jason away from Lynne’s reverential gaze without care. But Lisette...Lisette hadn’t made a sound. The steady beat from her heart thudded noisily in her ears as Lynne half-turned her head in the direction of the bed. Her eyes met a quizzical, exhaustedly triumphant blue gaze and a choked laugh escaped from her throat even as Lynne stumbled towards Lisette blindly. In the safety and reassurance of the other’s embrace, two blonde heads leant together amidst the noisy symphony of tears, laughter, and two babies’ complaints of being wrenched from their warm home into a cool, sterilised hospital room.

[Lynne Collins]

May.

Lynne felt absurdly guilty for being out and about, money tucked away in her purse ready for the spending and sunglasses perched jauntily on the top of her head. Back in the flat, Lisette was most likely nursing the two babies. Jason was a lot fussier than his female counterpart, demanding attention at all hours of the night and day. Allette was significantly quieter, though her cry was shriller and always sounded urgent enough to make both Lisette and Lynne jump to their feet in alarm before the realisation struck their minds. They had grown so used to working as a team and it was never more obvious than when both twins were crying. Lynne automatically veered towards Jason’s cot on the left side of the room and Lisette found it natural to cradle Allette simply because she knew that Jason was in Lynne’s increasingly capable hands. There was no anxiety from the new mother when Lynne was left alone with the children occasionally. The two women were equal partners in their friendship.

“Ooh!” Lynne’s eyes widened excitedly, lunging forward to snatch an item from one of the stalls in the market that she was walking through. “That would be perfect for Seth!” Lynne impulsively hugged it closer to her, fishing in her bag for the Muggle money that had become as familiar to her as wizarding currency. She thought of Seth often, especially when she found herself distracted by something during her culinary classes. Seth Wright was part of the life that she had left behind but that didn’t mean that Lynne didn’t love him; she truly did. She wasn’t in love with him; those thoughts and feelings had never entered any part of her mind or heart. Danny had been too prominent in her life, even when he hadn’t even been present. Seth was just...Seth. Adorable, geeky and thoroughly loveable Seth. He would not be the same when she returned, Lynne knew. Not if he had accepted the offer to live with Kael. Kael would tarnish the innocence that she prized in Seth and missed in herself. Her twin would spoil Seth as a boy but turn him into a stronger man. The swift longing to set her eyes on her friend and her brother passed a lot more slowly than it had came but Lynne eventually loosened her grip on the box containing her present for Seth enough to place it gently into the bag over her shoulder.

As she wandered the open-air market, occasionally purchasing little figurines and knick-knacks that particularly called to her for some reason, Lynne’s thoughts naturally swung to Kael. He was her twin brother, and the birth of Jason and Allette had reminded her of what, and who, she was missing. Was Kael happy, all alone with his books and quills and ink? Had he ever gotten the nerve to publish one of his finished manuscripts? Had Seth moved in with him? Had Kael lost his temper with Seth yet or were they actually getting along reasonably well? Lynne knew her brother; he might not act like it but he did truly enjoy Seth’s company at times, for all that he claimed to merely tolerate him. The two boys, men, would undoubtedly be closer when Lynne finally returned. The only thing was...the idea of leaving France, leaving Lisette and Allette and Jason was becoming increasingly harder to seriously contemplate. Lynne wanted her friends and her brother back in her life but Lisette and the twins were starting to feel like family and home too. Even the friends she had made from her time at the culinary institute were becoming important to her.

What was Aurora doing with her life? While Lynne turned to slowly wander back to the flat, her hands filled with heavy bags and her purse considerably lighter, Aurora Chan was on her mind and in her thoughts. The two girls had never been particularly close. Lynne had been closer to Seth and Kael whereas Aurora had mostly paired off with Kael but they were still friends; Lynne still missed her. The main consolation for Lynne when she had originally departed for France, nearly an entire year ago, had been that Kael would have Aurora to keep him occupied and reasonably social.

The key fumbled in the lock but turned smoothly once Lynne shifted some of her bags to her right hand to free her left for easier movement. It seemed that she had no sooner stepped through the door and deposited her bags on the floor that Lisette promptly placed a fussy and crying Jason in her arms. Laughing even though she wasn’t sure why, Lynne cuddled Jason close to her in a similar way to how she had clutched the gift for Seth maybe an hour or two ago, feeling the undeniable and unmistakable warmth of being home.