One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three ((Kailyn))

[Stephen Donahue S7]

“One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four…” Stephen counted the seconds between the hallucinations, the same way his father would count between the flash of lightning and the crack of it’s twin thunder after…trying to figure out if the storm was coming or going. It was the same with Stephen. He was counting the seconds, wondering if the rain of hallucinations were coming or going. He never could tell…not anymore. It all just swam together….became one continuous hallucination. He hadn’t thought it would come this earlier…didn’t think that within the first few months of leaving St. Mungos he’d lose his marbles…of course that assumed he hadn’t already lost them a long time ago. The next hallucination began, Stephen not even flinching at the sudden appearance of his father yelling again in that deadly voice he got when the war would come back.

“One Mississippi, two Mississippi…” he counted off again, the hallucination continuing on into the next one. He sighed deeply…for once just wishing his mind wasn’t so screwed up…he knew it wasn’t real. There had been enough meetings…enough counseling for him to know that they weren’t real, but that flare in his father’s eyes…the power behind the rippling muscles was almost perfectly real. In fact, Stephen felt that if he reached out toward the vision he’d be able to feel the bodily heat coming off it, but as his hand moved out the vision disappeared. His hand fell immediately back down before moving to his face, rubbing hard over his eyes and then back through his hair. He was tired…more tired than he’d like to be at this time. Insomnia had struck him again and now he was simply sitting in the darkened common room, hazel orbs already adjusted to the low lighting that was being cast by the soft flames of the fire he’d started when he’d stumbled out of bed several hours ago.

A yawn escaped his lips, eyes dropped to the ground as he pulled himself up from his sitting position on the chair before turning to look around the room. It was at this moment that he wised he had a house elf that could bring him some tea, but that wasn’t really going to happen right now. So he’d have to get himself a cut of water and try to figure out the correct spell to get some tea made. After filling the transformed teacup with water he mumbled a few spells until finally he had something resembling tea…or at least close enough that he wasn’t going to try again and mess it up like he had for the hundredth time. At least this had kept his mind busy enough that he’d only had a handful of hallucinations during the 20-minute fiasco.

It was at this time that he heard the creaking of people in their picture frames…then the sound of footsteps. Who was that? He thought to himself as his hazel eyes flickered toward the corridor. He wasn’t sure if it was a prefect or just a normal student and on top of that he didn’t know if they were male or female. He glanced down at his black night pants and his white wife beater tank as he sat back down in the chair finally, his eyes leveling on the fire as he decided to ignore the footsteps that were growing louder.

[Kailyn Valak S6]

For the hundredth time, Kailyn lay in her bed, her eyes closed but the vision in front of her more real than she could imagine. Her father's lifeless body lay on the floor and Kennedy was standing overtop of it with that same look that he always had. Kailyn was still unsure of whom she hated more: Kennedy or her dead father. It didn't matter now. All that mattered was they they were both out of her life, for good. Or so she had hoped. Kennedy was apparently free from Azkaban now, but she knew he'd probably avoid her. What reason would he have to come see her anyways. She didn't want him to. She wanted to keep her life just the way it was. Even with the addition of her new step-father Daneon, Kailyn knew life now was way better than any bit of her previous life.

Stepping out of bed, she needed to walk around and get the nightmare from her mind. She decided to go to the common room despite the hour. At least she'd be alone and able to have the light of the fire to keep her out of the dark. As she walked, Kailyn heard a voice. It was a male's voice, and from the sounds of it, one that was familiar to her. Sure enough, as she drew nearer, she recognized that it was Stephen. No surprise that it would be him who was in the common room so late. If one person was a bit different, a bit off base, it was Stephen.

"Ready or not, here I come," she said, hearing that he was repeating some sort of counting cadence over and over. It reminded her a lot of hide-and-seek. It was such a childish game, but in all reality, the concept of it seemed to have such deeper meaning. When you thought about it, everyone was playing a game of hide-and-seek. In fact, life was like a game of hiding from some things and seeking out others. Kailyn walked to where Stephen was sitting and found a seat beside him.

A lot of people were afraid of Stephen. Or, perhaps it wasn't fear but something else. Kailyn noticed that many people avoided him, mostly those who were younger or in different houses. Then again, maybe it was Stephen who was ignoring them. Kailyn wasn't sure either way. "Can't sleep either? Counting sheep?" Kailyn starred at Stephen, somewhat happy that she wasn't exactly alone but had found the company of someone who wasn't going to annoy her.

[Stephen Donahue S7]

The feminine voice drifted from the darkness and suddenly Stephen was thrown back into his childhood days of a hide-and-seek game. Except those words did not mean something good. It was obvious that they were wrong…words that he did not want to hear as his form stiffened. There had been more than one occasion where his father had said those very words to him…or his mother. Those were usually the days his father was more drunk than human. They were also some of the more demented and frightening days of Stephen’s life. So to have them repeated now did not go over well as his hand shook visibly and his eyes jumped at the hallucination of his father. If he hadn’t known better he would have jumped the couch and ran out of the common room, but this was his sanctuary…Hogwarts would always be his sanctuary. There was nothing to fear here and he knew that.

Even with the thoughts of peace in his head, Stephen’s form still did not relax as the girl slipped around into view and he quirked a brow at her. He knew her, Kailyn Valak…one of the more popular girls in Slytherin. She was friends with that Fox girl to whom Stephen was more concerned with ignoring than flocking after her like the rest of the men in the Slytherin house. Really they weren’t that smart, didn’t see past her friend repose to the ugly creature that was inside. He on the other hand had suffered through a train ride with her and found her monotonous spoilt behavior rather annoying. So in Stephen’s eyes a friend of Fox’s was probably on the same annoying level as hers, but then again maybe this Valak girl wouldn’t be too annoying…especially if she kept him distracted from the hallucinations.

Words were short, quick, and even. So far nothing too annoying, but the fact that she’d caught him counting out loud did put a damper in his situation. Telling someone that he was crazy was not what he had wanted. With that conclusion in mind Stephen decided to play it off…give her something else to talk about; sleeping wasn’t such a bad topic, as long as they didn’t get into why Stephen didn’t sleep. His still rigid form finally relaxed a little as he shrugged. “Insomniac…sleep and I don’t exactly get along,” Stephen said simply as if that was the epitome of an answer, his dark eyes catching Kailyn’s eyes in the fading fire light. “What about you? Nightmares wake you up or something? Or do you make a habit of waking up in the middle of the night to see who’s still awake?” Stephen’s voice was a bit sharper than he would have liked, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d been somewhat interrupted and with her as company he’d found that he was more than annoyed by the aspect. Even if she helped distract him…the lack of sleep put him on edge and his temper close to the surface.

[Kailyn Valak S6]

An insomniac. Kailyn was unimpressed. It was a boring answer. A plain answer. She wanted something with more drama. "Actually, yes," she said, unafraid to admit that it had been a nightmare that brought her out to the common room. "Can't say it's my fault though when my brother killed my father when I was only eight." Surely everyone knew about this already. And, if they didn't, well she didn't mind telling them. It wasn't something she was ashamed of. She had no reason to be ashamed. And, no matter what Stephen might think, she didn't care if people thought she was weak for having nightmares about her father's death.

Glancing over at Stephen, it was fairly obvious he wasn't the social type who was looking for a conversation. Neither was Kailyn at the moment, but what else were they to do. Sitting there and starring at each other seemed rather boring and pathetic. "So does your inability to sleep explain the rest of your odd behaviours?" she asked, wondering why Stephen was the way he was. Kailyn was a curious girl, and unafraid to ask bold questions. And, for having a lot to be afraid of, Kailyn was unexplainably brave in most situations. Maybe it was just her confidence that made her seem brave.

Stephen seemed to be ignoring her, starring off into space or something. "Donahue." She glared at him, shaking her head as his attention finally turned back to her. "I swear you are so creepy sometimes," she said, rolling her eyes. "I think you're hiding something. I think that you must have killed someone or something. You are the oddest, creepiest guy I know. And that's saying a lot." Kailyn laughed, a quiet and serious laugh. No matter what she said though, she felt an odd sort of comfort in Stephen's presence. He wasn't like most guys.

[Stephen Donahue S7]

Stephen was aware of the Valak story, having remembered the headlines from the Daily Prophet, though he was surprised to see that Kailyn had actually been related to that Valak. It was surprising to say the least to him, but he could relate…maybe more so to her brother than he could to her, but still he could. Stephen’s demeanor changed toward Kailyn in those moments, understanding the nightmares more than he’d like to. If she dreamt about her brother killing her father still, than it was alright for him to dream about him killing his father…and the way his body had folded beneath his, and the look on his mother’s face as she came to and realized what had happened. Yes…if she could have nightmares, so could he. The only difference…Stephen didn’t want them and would do anything to avoid having to watch what he had done happen over and over again while he was sleeping. It was hard enough while he was awake to deal with the hallucinations and flashbacks, in his dreams he wanted to be safe and in control, but as always he was never in control.

Silence greeted his ears…and Stephen was unsure if Kailyn had wanted a response to what she had just said or if she wanted him to just absorbed the information as he was. Normally Stephen wouldn’t be the type to sit there and listen, especially when his silence had been interrupted, but at least the interruption had come from someone that wasn’t quite so annoying. In fact, he daresay that this girl was actually rather comforting to be sitting in the near dark with. He lifted the teacup to his lips and took a drink of the liquid…not quite satisfying, but at least it was something to drink while the silence grew between them, it was almost a perfect silence until the sound of his father’s screaming voice made him cough on the tea he’d been drinking. He’d almost forgotten about the hallucinations, but now he remembered them as he sat his teacup back down on the coffee table, his hands shaking slightly as the screaming grew louder within his own head, only being drowned out by the sound of Kailyn’s voice asking him some random question about his odd behaviors. Either she was playing stupid about his past or she didn’t know what had happened. He didn’t get the chance to respond as his eyes flickered over to the image of his father, screaming the same words at him over and over again.

”Donahue.”

Kailyn’s attempt at getting his attention brought him out of the hallucination and his dark hazel eyes settled back on her. She was glaring at him and shaking her head as if he could avoid being distracted. It was a lot easier said than done unfortunately. He couldn’t help chuckle softly at her words about him being creepy. That was not the first time he had heard those words…and he was sure that wouldn’t be the last time either. Stephen didn’t know why he found it amusing, but he did, especially coming from a girl like Kailyn…so prim and proper…she was the typical rich girl who got whatever she wanted so her telling him he was creepy hit some funny bone within his body. At her final words, Stephen leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he watched her intensely. “I did. My father.” There were only four words uttered from his mouth, but his voice lowered in a disturbing way, like he was foreshadowing an event yet to come. Really he was only doing it to creep her out even more, but a part of him wanted to confess it…to get the guilt off his shoulders…to make the hallucinations disappear, but at his words the roar from his father became deafening and he actually broke his eye contact with Kailyn as his hands went to his ears, teeth grinding together to try to keep the sound out. “Just shut up!” he finally growled out loud and the world went silent as he looked to where his father had been, the space unoccupied and then his eyes slipped back to Kailyn waiting for a reaction to his psychotic breakdown.

[Kailyn Valak S6]

"Oh," Kailyn said when Stephen admitted to killing his father. Perhaps a normal person might respond with a bit more shock or surprise, but considering her situation, Kailyn didn't really find it all that bizarre. "I guess that's the thing to do these days," she added, making light of the serious situation. What else could she do? If she thought about it long enough, the fact that her own brother killed her own father, no matter how much he may have deserved it, then she'd probably go crazy. Then again, in sitting there with Stephen, it seemed that she wouldn't be the only crazy one.

In trying to get Stephen's attention, Kailyn got more of a response than what she had expected. He shouted in her face, causing her to retreat rather quickly, eyes darting back and forth as she tried to figure out why he was shouting at her. "You're going to wake everyone," she hissed, not really caring whether he did or not, but she had to funnel her fear somewhere, even if it meant feigning annoyance. Even if he did scare her a bit though, Kailyn was still drawn to Stephen, her eyes starring at his own, trying to figure out what was behind them.

"And if you think that yelling at me to shut is going to work, we'll then you're wrong. I don't care who you killed. Hell, if you were going to kill me, you could have done it already." She was rambling now. Kailyn hardly thought that Stephen was going to kill her. Even if he had killed his father, he didn't seem like the murderous type. Perhaps he was creepy, but that was a totally different thing. Murderers were just cold, and Stephen didn't seem that cold. He just seemed misunderstood. "I really don't get you," she added truthfully, pulling her legs beneath her body as she curled up on the chair. Exhaustion was taking over and she was finally starting to feel like she might actually be able to fall asleep. Of course, part of it may have had to do with not feeling so alone. She laid her face against the side of the chair, her eyes still not having left Stephen's stone-like face, devoid of any hint of feeling or emotion.