Is it Snowing Yet? ((The Death of Brianna Bowman))

[Brianna Bowman R7]

Was that blue? No red? Another flash…this one was definitely green or was it yellow? She couldn’t remember what color that was but she knew it to be the same color as her sister’s eyes. That was her sister wasn’t it? Did she have a sister? Was that the right word? Frustration welled up in the eighteen year old’s cold dull brown eyes. Flesh was pale, not like jaundice, but like a transparent ghost. Her hair was no longer brilliant or thick as it had always been, no it was stringy and limp. There was no strength in her body, nothing left at all as her thin form lay sunken into the mattress of the wizarding hospital bed. It was in a little known ward, one that was used more often than anyone cared to admit, but as a wizard or witch it seemed almost impossible to comprehend that all the magic in the world could not save the children that resided within it’s walls…within the dying children’s ward. It wouldn’t be too much longer now.

“Hello?” Brianna called in a soft, weak voice…She’d forgotten her sister’s name…forgotten a lot recently, but right now she knew that the woman beside her was familiar…she had long dark hair…black in the darkness, the green sweater was thick and loose on her frame, the black pants were billowy around her…knees pulled up in the chair, arms wrapped around them and her chin sitting a top the knees. The form moved quite quickly at the soft call from Brianna.
“It’s me Bri…Jo,” she whispered softly in return.
The name sparked a memory through her…the remembrance of something quite homely…

“Wait for me Bri!” a small voice cried out, small feet pattered across the floor.
“Keep up…” Bri said sharply as she continued on down the corridor of the white painted walls.
Jo cried out as she sped up, her small form unable to keep up at the same pace her older sister was. “Bri! Bri! Bri, don’t leave me behind!” she cried out again, just as her little feet stumbled and she crashed to the ground. Tears welled up in the little girl’s eyes and she began to cry as the sharp pain flared through her.
“Jo…” the soft voice of her sister sounded. “You’re okay, come on. We’ll go together. I’ll never leave you.” The form knelt down before her sister and helped her to her feet. The small, tiny hands of Jo fit snugly into the hands of Brianna as they began to moved down the corridor again.

“Is it snowing yet?” Brianna asked, a twitch beginning in her hand.

Josephine noticed the shaking…her heart skipping a beat as she moved forward a bit in the chair. Even with the returned twitching to Brianna’s hand, it didn’t have the same effect as the question that Brianna asked did. A cold, depressing, and suffocating silence swam over the 16 year old for a moment as she tried to fight back the darkness that threatened to overcome her. Finally a soft, sharp in take of air came from Jo’s direction. She held herself together, if only barely, as she spoke, a tremble obviously sounding in her voice.

“Yes,” the word was hardly a whisper…as her tongue slid over her dry, cracked lips. “Yes Bri…it’s snowing.”

“Just like Daddy…” the words were hopeful…almost jubilant in its weakest form as a soft, hardly visible, smile fell across her face.

Another tremble shook Josephine and it was a miracle she held herself together after those words. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as she tried to hold the sob inside, but it didn’t stop the silent tears from sliding down her cheeks, her heart from beating irregularly in her chest, and the emotional pain to roll through her body. Even though her sister’s face held joy at the confirmation, Jo still couldn’t find the happiness in the words, though she knew exactly why her sister was happy.

Silent engulfed them for a few minutes, as Brianna seemed to stew in the darkness over the thought of snow. Then another face came to mind…one she hardly remembered. She didn’t know his name, but the green eyes were strikingly familiar even those she could remember in her mind. As lost as she was, as much as she had forgotten she remembered him, or at least a little of him. Like how her heart beats more erratically when she thinks of him…or how her flesh reddens when his green eyes meet hers…there was a soft exhale…another memory…

She sighed as she went to turn back, her body shivering as she felt his arms wrap around her before she could turn around. When she felt his lips on the back of her neck, her eyes slipped closed, her pulse raced, and her breathing quickened.

Brianna turned in his arms, her eyes meeting his, those brown orbs that usually hid behind obedience, behind harshness…her eyes held the pain of losing her father, the pain of her whole world crumbling, the need to obey at her fathers command while he lay dying. Everything was held there and she could see his own eyes reflecting the same form of pain. She placed her hands against his chest, not trying to push him away this time like she would normally do. No…she had seen at least a portion of the true man, the man beneath all the layers and she couldn’t push him away, not when he saw the same thing in her, the same pain. Finally…finally she could find her voice, weak, but full of emotion that usually never crossed her tone, especially in front of him.

“Please…” she said softly, her heart skipping a couple beats. “Please make it go away…make everything go away. I don’t want to feel any of it anymore. I can’t. I’m counting down to self-destruction every second of every day. I’m tired. I’m tired of everything crashing down on me. Please make it go away.” Brianna wasn’t begging, wasn’t pleading, but at the same time she was pouring everything out into her words, wanting him to understand her, hoping that he really could just take it all away, to melt away the darkness that always lined her dreams, the emptiness that plagued her whole being. She didn’t want to wait for him at that point…didn’t want him to think she was too weak to do anything on her own and with that thought she lifted herself up onto her toes, one hand sliding behind his neck, and for the second time since she had met Drake she kissed him before he could steal a kiss from her.

Another blush fell over her features as well as a shy, unknowing smile of what had happened that night. This being all she could remember she let the memory speed through her body, letting it remind her of the way he looked, even if there was no name to go with his face.

“Is he here?” Brianna asked in a soft, almost frightened voice…she didn’t want to know…something told her that she really didn’t want to ask about him in the first place, but that she could not help.

Josephine almost felt pity for her sister at the question that sounded. How could she be the one to let her sister know that the man she’d fallen in love with, was scheduled to marry, was not hanging around the hospital waiting for her to die? Really she couldn’t do that…….could she?

“No Bri……Darke isn’t here,” she said softly…reluctantly.

So that was his name. Brianna finally had his name again and it set off the quick beat of her heart and the blush on her cheeks again. It was a reaction she shouldn’t be having, if she only knew what he had done, how he had treated her she wouldn’t be asking for him, but she was…and he never would come. Josephine hated being the one to give her the news that once again the man her sister wanted was not there. She hated telling her he wasn’t there and watching that look of depression pass over her, to watch her face fall, and the glow in her eyes dim just a little more, becoming even more dull and dead. Tonight however there would be no sparkle to dull, it was as if Brianna already knew he would not be there. That she was alone.

“I’m cold,” Brianna whispered softly, a shiver running through her body as the words let her lips.

The words put Jo on edge as she finally rose from the chair and moved to tuck the blanket in around her older sister, much like she had done when Josephine was just a little girl. At this moment Brianna reached out, slowly and weakly, her cold, delicate hand touched Jo’s and an unwanted shiver passed through Jo’s frame. The hand was too cold, far too cold…as if death itself had touched her and with that another wave of shivers slipped down her spine. She fought through the urge to withdraw her hand as she carefully placed her other warm, live hand on top of her sister’s trying to heat it through…to warm her up bring her a second chance at life.

“Mum?”

It was only one word…but even Josephine could tell how hard it was getting for Brianna to talk now…the slight slurring to the speech this time making her all too aware of the affects of the tumor that was killing her sister. She knew what her sister was asking however…knew that she wanted to see their mother, but the way she said it…the way it seemed to sound from a deeper longing…it made Josephine scared…like this was the last thing her sister was ever going to say or ask of her…it made the moment seem even more frightening.

“Suzy and her are in the tea room…they should be back any minute now Bri…any minute,” Josephine said, her voice held a bit more desperation than she cared to admit…like it was a last request to her sister to wait…to remember everything long enough to remember that she had to wait. She couldn’t die; no she wasn’t allowed to die. Josephine wasn’t ready to be the oldest child…to grow up. She just wanted to be a kid; even though she had never really been a kid, not after her father died…none of them had just been a kid after that, least of all Brianna.

Brianna squeezed her sister’s hand and grimaced…Josephine half wondered if she was trying to comfort her or if the pain had suddenly become so much that her hand subconsciously tightened it’s hold. “Tell mum I’m sorry…tell Suzy to not break the guy’s hearts…tell him I loved him…” her hand gripped Josephine’s even tighter as she arched a little from the pain, Jo immediately moving to place her other hand on Brianna’s head.

“Help! We need help in here!” Jo called in a loud voice through the tears that streamed down her face.

Brianna shook her head, her hand patting her sisters. “Be happy Jo…find love…don’t let the ice become so thick that no one can get through……” her dull eyes darkened even more as she continued, “don’t be like him…don’t run away from love.” She groaned before the seizure started, Josephine’s hands going to her shoulder’s trying to hold her down, her voice screaming for help, for Brianna, for her father, for everyone and anyone that might hear her.

Somewhere deep in Brianna’s subconscious, the old Brianna awoke for this. The memories resurfaced and reminded her of her life, of everything she’d seen and experienced. She saw it all in a matter of moments, seconds even. A sigh, peaceful and painless left her lips as her body stopped moving, her body falling back to the bed from the seizure, limp and lifeless as she finally stopped moving…stopped breathing…her pupils widened, as her brown eyes lost all life.

Josephine didn’t see who pulled her from the room, didn’t see the amount of healers that poured into the room of her already dead sister. She wanted to blame them…wanted to blame them for not being there sooner, for not helping her sister, but it would be useless anyhow. Jo just stood in the corridor, her eyes glued to the window of the room, to the shadows that moved across the closed curtain and waited as one by one they exited the room, the looks on their faces were devastatingly beautiful…the perfect mixture of depression from the child’s life they couldn’t save…

She was alone…Josephine was alone in those moments, her mother not there to hold her tight, her younger sister not there to ask her if Brianna was going to be okay…and most of all Brianna wasn’t there to wrap an arm around her and tell her that she shouldn’t worry, because she knew Josephine would find a way to save her…but she didn’t…she hadn’t found a cure and as the healers slowly left the room, their hands gently touching her shoulders as they left she realized that she had failed…

They emptied the room, several stopping to tell her what had happened, but Josephine hadn’t heard them…had only looked past them to the door behind them…the door she wanted to walk through…needed to walk through and she did, she moved past the healers without any thought, without wanting to understand what they were saying. Her blue eyes dropped back to the bed, to the form of her sister, still uncovered. Feet carried her back to the bed and her hand found her sister’s again. She stood stock still, her eyes wide with a mixture of shock and horror written across them as she continued to hold her sister’s cold dead hand. Her brown eyes were still open, but there was no life…no light in them. The body before her had been her sister’s body, but it wasn’t any longer, the host was dead and the soul was gone. Jo didn’t move, didn’t want to move. Her whole world was falling apart before her eyes. Her older sister, her best friend was dead and she watched it happen. She couldn’t stop it…couldn’t save her sister… The image before her was a stark cold reminder of a moment from the past…a moment that Josephine had long forgotten until that very moment.

The two girls slipped through the door of their father’s hospital room. One was two years older, taller; with long brown hair…she was just a little thing as she held her sister’s hand. She’d fallen earlier in the corridor and she was making sure she didn’t fall again, wanting to help her along as much as possible in these moments. “Daddy! Daddy! Where are you?!” the little girl cried out with glee as she stared at the bed. Her sister was right there with her…the small girl with long dark hair, almost black and bright blue eyes like that of her father’s.

The call was met with silence as the two small figures moved to the bed, crawling up to be met with the dead figure of their father. Hands, small and unsure nudged at him, trying to wake him like they had mummy all those time when she’d been sleeping. However they would never wake him and they found that out all too soon from their mother’s wracking sobs behind them. Now…now they knew…their father was dead.

Josephine moved then at the sudden sound of her mother’s strained sobbing, her hand slowly pulling from her sister’s. Her other hand was shaking far beyond its own will as she stared in a silent shocked horror at her sister’s form before her mother pulled her from the room, a distant memory of her being pulled out of her father’s room flashed cross her memory before she felt her feet begin to run, tears streaming down her face as she ran away from the scene, away from her crying mother and sister…away from the pain. She didn’t stop until she got outside, the snow creating a white sterile sheet over the world…just like it had when her father died all those years ago. Suddenly the world turned and the ground rushed up to meet her eyes. She cried out in pain and heartache as she collapsed, she was crying…away from everyone else…on her own outside in the cold night as her mind finally fully comprehended that Brianna Bowman was dead.

[Drake Manning]

The cold air, paired with his growing anxiety, trapped Drake's breath in his chest as he walked. Since when did it snow in November? Well, it wasn't unheard of, but it surely wasn't that common. Drake's feet carried him a few more steps, his head still telling him to go back home. Apparently his feet were taking instruction from some other source since they kept going. Soon, he was standing outside of the hospital. He stood frozen in the snow.

They had reached the door, and they would soon rejoin their parents. Drake wondered what Brianna’s response might be in front of a crowd. Perhaps she could continue to play the game, but frankly, he wasn’t quite sure what she was thinking. Had she accepted that she was helpless in the situation, or was she just laying low with a plan of action in mind? Whatever it was, Drake was still ready for the games to begin, and he was on his toes, ready for whatever Brianna might throw at him.

What happened next though... what she did end up throwing his way... was not at all what Drake expected. About to open the door to the house, Brianna turned first and looked at Drake. His eyes stared down at her, waiting for some pathetic plea, but instead of a plea, Drake felt Brianna’s body press up against his own, her lips against his as she kissed him right there on the front porch. Somewhat shocked, Drake didn’t kiss her back at first, but then he was lost in the moment as he allowed her physical touch to wash over him and cause him to kiss her in return. Seconds later, he was back to reality, realizing that perhaps Brianna might have found his one weakness.

She was inside the hospital. Drake couldn't make his feet go any farther. They stopped there, just outside the building as the snow feel. It landed in his hair and on his jacket as he stood, statuesque, starring at the building but allowing other visions from his memory to block out the brick building. She was just beyond those walls, and she was dying. How do you feel Drake? Are you sad? Anger boiled inside of him as he realized he was still nothing more than numb to any of his feelings. After ignoring them for so long, he was having a hard time knowing that they were still there, hiding in the darkness. Somewhere.

Brianna, his future wife, was dying. India, the girl who he let see behind the mask, ignored him. Drake, the boy who lived from one high to another, was lost.

The sudden bursting open of the front doors shattered Drake's thoughts as he turned his focus to the small figure of a girl who collapsed onto the ground. She was noticeably sobbing, and when Drake realised that it was Josephine, he stopped breathing for a second. She had died. Brianna was... dead.

He fell to his knees, the icy cold snow melting in patches were his and Josephine's bodies had touched. "Where is she?" he asked frantically, his one arm around Jo's back and the other attempting to lift her so that he could see her face. "Where's Brianna? Take me to her." He was somewhat demanding, yet his voice was quivering with a sort of uncertainty. "Dammit, Jo, just take me to her!" The girl was crying too hard to probably notice or care what he was saying. Drake bit his lip tightly, closing his eyes and refusing to let a single tear fall. Though he barely knew Josephine, he pulled her close to him. It was instinct, for Drake was beyond the realm of reason. Apparently she too had been too overwhelmed by everything, because it wasn't for a minute or two until she even spoke.

[Josephine Bowman S7]

There were hands…a voice she barely recognized, but Josephine Bowman didn’t comprehend it, not really as she sobbed. Her whole body was wracked with the overwhelming sobs; the tears that wouldn’t stop sliding down her cheeks. It was more than she could possibly deal with. It was far more than she wanted to deal with. It was her worst nightmare, the piece of the puzzle she refused to fit into the completed picture. Her sister’s death had been inevitable, but Josephine had never thought so, leaving her cold and numb to everything in the world now that the inevitable had happened. So why couldn’t she stop…why couldn’t she figure out who’s hand was around her back. The voice said something else…yelled it almost but Jo did not hear it, only felt her body pulled in to the warmth that she didn’t want to feel, the warmth of another body…another body that was not familiar to her. In those moments she didn’t care though as she cried till the river ran dry and her body began to shake from the cold and not the wracking sobs from before.

Several minutes passed then in silence. Her blue eyes focusing in on the bits and pieces of the body she clung to. It was here that she jerked away…she knew who it was…knew before she even wanted to admit it. Eyes narrowed as she jerked herself to her feet. First had come the pain, the absolute heartache of losing her sister…now, now there was only hatred and anger…so intense that if she’d had her wand on her the man before her would already be on the ground suffering from an unforgivable curse. “How dare you!” she shouted at him, her hands clenching into fists. Her dark hair was sweeping across her face in the light wind that had begun, her form rigid, emitting anger as she glared at him, her icy blue orbs reflecting the cold winter world around them, but that was nothing compared to the way her eyes reflected Drake Manning…the one man she would give anything to kill in that moment.

Anger got the best of her and she moved forward, her hand clenched together hard as she did the only thing she could think of…she lifted her arm and punch Drake as hard as she could in his face. It wasn’t as hard as she would have liked it to be, but she was more than willing to punch him again if he didn’t react. It just seemed to fuel her more though instead of making her feel better. She was almost in a panic now as more wood was thrown to the endless burning fire that had begun in her. “How dare you show up now! She’s asked for you for a month! A whole month! And you never showed! Do you have any idea what that did to her! What that did to me having to tell her that you weren’t here! I don’t care if you don’t love her! I don’t care if you were busy being the arse you are! Get out of here! Now! You don’t belong here…you don’t deserve to see her now!” Jo yelled, cried, and screamed at him all at once; her emotions more visible than they ever had been before. She was so angry…so hurt, full of pain, and heartache, and crippling fear…but she didn’t turn away from the man, wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that Brianna had died loving him. After all that’s what he wanted wasn’t it? To make every girl fall for him so he could hurt her in the end? Jo wasn’t about to let him know that he had succeeded with Brianna.

[Drake Manning]

"Don't act like you know what you're talking about," he shot at her cruelly. "You'll never begin to understand the complexity of all this." Hell, Drake would probably never understand himself. "I didn't ask to be entered into the arranged marriage just as Brianna hadn't asked for it either. I won't deny that I am a jerk, an ass, or whatever else you want to call me. But I did care. I do care." He cared, right?

Drake expected Jo to hate him. She needed someone to blame. He was used to getting the blame anyways. Drake wasn't exactly the angel of happiness. No, he was more like a bearer of darkness. A demon. A curse. He didn't blame Jo for using him as a way to help accept what had happened. But at the same time, he wasn't going to let her stop him. Drake stood, leaving Jo in the falling snow. "I'm going to say goodbye. Come if you want, but you won't stop me. She was meant to be my wife, no matter who wanted it to be true or not. I have every right to put her to rest."

Drake stormed into the entrance of St Mungo's. With little effort, he found his way to Brianna's room. The healers were just covering her up. "Wait," he ordered, walking over to her pale body. She had an aura of peace around her that he was unable to recognize. Anybody else would have seen the relief in her face, but Drake just saw emptiness, a life that he had helped to suck away. This only made him angry with himself. Even if her death was inevitable without him, Drake had a way of spreading his darkness, his disease. It was just another reason why he hated himself so much at times.

"You tried. You fought like hell." His words were almost silent. "I'd like to say that my life was better in knowing you, Brianna Bowman, but we both know that's not possible. At least I know it. You didn't seem willing to believe it in the end. Still trying to change me even when you had nothing left inside of you." Drake touched her cold cheek with his hand. "Nothing can change me. Nothing can save me. But... you tried." He closed his eyes.

Moments later, Drake watched, Josephine standing silent in the room as they levitated Brianna away on her bed. He had already began to repress the memories. Covering up the pain and everything else that reminded him of her. It was the best way. The only way. Drake had never known how to deal with such things, the darkness that he lived in. The only thing he knew how to do was hide. To pretend. And so that's what he kept on doing.

A cold stare toward Josephine and he was gone.

[Josephine Bowman S7]

Josephine Bowman couldn’t stand to even look at Drake Manning, her anger so great and yet the tears still sliding down her fact…even in the freezing cold they did not stop long enough to dry her face. He didn’t even look fazed by Josephine’s attack on his character or himself physically. Why that didn’t bother her she wasn’t sure…probably because at that point she was just so completely crazed it didn’t matter. She had just lost her sister and best friend…because she had failed to do what she promised she would do. The guilt was suffocating her and in those moments she just wanted to blame Drake for all of it…for Brianna’s death, for her own failure…but she couldn’t, especially when he pressed the issue to say goodbye. Josephine couldn’t fight him now…not even if she wanted to.

Instead she followed after him, her whole body shaking from the cold and shock of what had happened as they silently arrived at Brianna’s room. The healer was covering her when they walked in and a whole knew wave of guilt and pain stabbed through Josephine like a sword. She watched him go to her and it only made her feel guiltier. All this time she had believed he didn’t feel anything for her sister, but the way he looked…the way he moved showed that he did…and she fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her once again. How could she have been so wrong? How could she have failed to see that he cared for Brianna? She couldn’t hear his words really, just him muttering to Brianna…saying his goodbye’s she assumed.

It was moments later when he pulled back and Josephine watched as the healers returned for Brianna’s body. There was only darkness then in her mind and body as she watched them levitate her out of the room, her eyes falling back on Drake…her cold, tearless eyes. She returned the cold stare that Drake gave her, watching him go before she whispered… “She loved you…” She didn’t know if he heard her, didn’t care…she had fulfilled Brianna’s request to tell him even if it wasn’t quite the way Brianna had intended. All that mattered now was the slow nothingness that was consuming Jo. Her world had crumbled and as her tears tried and the redness left her eyes all that stood out was a dark, unforgiving glare.