The Tide That Left and Never Came Back (Lovefool)

[Ashley Hill]

((This post is for Lovefool plot members: Dixie, Adam and Rae.))

When life became rough for a while, it would sometimes reward you afterwards; like a gift for making it through in one piece. That was exactly how Ashley Hill felt. The last few months was tough on Bryce and hers relationship. Ever since that day on the Express Ashley had distanced herself from the boy. She hadn’t talked, or even acknowledged his presence during that time. All because she couldn’t get over the one mistake he made; kissing his best friend. Ashley had all the right to be upset with him, but that didn’t mean she could ever forgive him. It was hard for too, though. She had been hurt once before by someone she cared about for deeply. Sure it made Ashley stronger, but her heart was still fragile. She had changed that day. Ashley wasn’t her old overly hyper self, but became someone who was a stranger to herself. It took a long time for Ashley to re-find herself, and when she finally did, Bryce came into her life. She never planned on meeting him in that abandoned classroom, but somehow did. It could be considered fate, or maybe just coincidence, Ashley didn’t know. She did however knew if it weren’t for Bryce that maybe she wouldn’t be able to feel worthy of being loved again. That was the biggest accomplishment for Ashley, but once they patched up their relationship, life seemed to test them again. Weetzie was back. Raelee had signed the girl to her new record label not even knowing that it was the girl that caused the conflict between Ashley and Bryce. Ashley was upset at first, but she was going to work past Weetzie’s and hers indifferences. Why couldn’t they be friends?

Hearing that gentle clank of the dresser being shut, Ashley groaned lightly before turning over in the bed. Her brown eyes opened to see Bryce filling his pant pockets with different items on top of their dresser. She smiled at the sight, feeling that it was still strange that they were living together now, but happy at the same time. It was a big step for them. There were still boxes piled around the room, left untouched. They still need to finish unpacking. Running her fingers through her hair, Ashley ruffled it as a yawn escaped her lips. “Where are you going?” she asked quietly watching as Bryce jumped at the sound of her voice. He turned around to face her, a small smile tugging at his lips. Feeling the bed wobble under his weight, Ashley stared up into his face, returning the same smile he was sending her. “I’m going to help Clay move into his new cottage,” Bryce spoke softly his fingers weaving their way through Ashley’s new styled hair. It was one of his only days off from Quidditch training. They were supposed to have lunch at The Three Broomsticks after Ashley got off from work. Ashley worked at a nearby day care center in the afternoon. It didn’t pay the best, but it still brought money in to pay for the bills. Nodding slowly, Ashley smiled gently up into her boyfriend’s face. “Alright…please don’t forget to meet me for lunch….ok?” Bryce only grinned leaning down to kiss her forehead. Ashley closed her eyes briefly, before opening them to watch him retreat from the room, maybe for the last time.

“Oh, Merlin….I’m gonna to be late!” Ashley spoke hurriedly as she frantically searched around the cottage for her new boots. Her brown curls bounced with each movement, as Ashley pushed aside a couple of boxes from the living room. They really needed to get everything unpacked. “Where are you?” Putting her hands on her hips, Ashley scanned around the room spotting them by the back door. How did they get there? Ignoring her question, Ashley quickly pulled them on over her feet, pulling the side zipper closed shut. They were a gift from Dixie from the day of Ashley’s make over. She was still trying to get used to her new style, but that was just going to take time. Now all she needed was her purse. Noticing it by the mantle in the foyer, Ashley quickly dove for it, grabbing her house keys that were hanging on the hook by the mirror. Spotting her reflection, Ashley stopped, reaching a free hand to brush a strand of hair from her eyes. She really had changed ever since Dixie worked her magic. It was a well deserved changed. Bryce seemed to like it. Pulling the end of her black blouse down over her dark jeans, Ashley jolted from her trance, grabbing the bag and making her way out the door. Before she could even exit the house, the phone rang. Staring at the street ahead of her and back into the house, Ashley sighed as she hastily climbed back up the stairs. Her boots clicked against the wooden floors as Ashley made her way into the kitchen. Grabbing for the phone, Ashley held it with the side of her cheek, fixing the strap of her purse on her shoulder as she spoke, “Ashley Hill speaking, who is this?” There was a pause on the phone before the woman finally answered. “Ashley? I’m sorry to inform you, but there has been an accident. Bryce Alexander and Clay Daniels were both killed during a robbery.”

Instantly Ashley froze. Dead? How could he be? Ashley just saw him! “You have to be mistaken….” She responded back, ignoring the fact that the strap on her shoulder was slowly sliding off. “I’m sorry Ms. Hill, but they are both dead. You can come by St. Mungos to collect their things if you like. Again…sorry.” Just like that the phone went dead. Ashley still held onto it, frozen in her spot. The shock was slowly sinking in as Ashley finally gained control of herself once again. Dialing the number to the day care center, Ashley called for a day off before apparating to St. Mungos. Ashley appeared in the lobby, looking around for which direction to go. It felt like she was stuck in time. Standing still as the world continued to madly spin around her. She hadn’t cried yet, but she wasn’t ready to see Bryce or Clay. How was Rae going to react?

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Ashley stepped forward following the signs that would lead her to her future. She stopped on a level, standing in the hallway by the door where her heart was. Ashley couldn’t bring herself to enter the room. Reaching out for the glass, Ashley stared off into the room her heart slowing down. She stayed in that spot for a while before feeling her frustration flow through her. Smashing her fist into the window, Ashley let out a loud gasp of air covering her face with her hands. How could this have happened to her again?

((Adam hope you don't mind that I used Bryce in the beginning of this post. )

[Raelee Gray]

"No, Rae! Stop." Dixie whined as she put up her hands to protect herself, laughter pealing from her lips as Rae tickled her. Ever since Dixie had moved into the cottage because of everything that had happened with Adam, she had been rather depressed. Rae had tried everything to get her to be happy again, telling her it wasn’t good for the baby, taking her shopping, everything; and now she was just tickling her. Laughter is good for the soul. It can't heal everything, but it can make you feel better about a lot of things. Dixie needed the tickling because she needed the laughter. Rae smiled and backed off as Dixie took in a couple of deep breaths, her smile stayed on her face, though. "Thanks…" She said, and Rae knew she meant for more than stopping. Rae smiled back and nodded in an understanding way before patting her best-friend's knee.

"You're going to be fine, Dix. Just… give him time, okay?" Rae smiled gently and then stood from her seat on the couch to head into the kitchen, "Want some water?" Dixie called a yes from the living room and Rae opened the fridge to pull out a bottle of water and a butterbeer. Everything had been going nicely for Rae lately. At first, she had been a bit sceptical as to why, because good things just didn’t happen to Raelee Gray. First, there was her record label and that was exceeding far better than she had thought it might. Of course, there had been a bit of a problem with her artist and her best-friend, Ashley Hill, having history; but that was working itself out and it wasn't bothering the business aspect of the whole thing. Then, there was Clay Daniels – who…she wasn’t quite sure what he was to her, but she knew she felt strongly about. And lastly, there was Maddie Daniels – Clay's daughter, who had weaselled her way into Rae's heart without realizing it. Rae cared about the girl as if she were her own daughter.

It wasn't uncommon for Rae to babysit Maddie when Clay was busy doing something else, such as moving into his new cottage – which he was doing at that moment. They had a lunch date later, as Bryce did with Ashley, and she was supposed to keep Maddie overnight. Dixie loved the little girl, and Rae could see that she was happy to be a future mother; even if it caused problems between her and her husband. Rae had faith that they would work out, they were soul mates – meant to be. It might take a bit of time, but Adam would come around; and he and Dixie would be fine again. Rae thought about talking to him, trying to get him to see Dixie's side of everything, trying to understand why he felt so betrayed – but she decided against it…it wasn't her place. This was between them, and if she got into the middle of it; Dixie wouldn't be happy. Rae headed back into the living room and smiled at the sight of Dixie with Maddie in her laps. The small 2 year old was looking at a popup book of Cinderella, tugging at the top of Cinderella's head as she giggled. Dixie was pointing out the mice to her and tickling her sides. Dixie would make a great mother.

Someday, Rae hoped to be a mother, too. Maddie was already somewhat like a daughter to her, at least, Rae felt like she was connected to the 2 year old in a special way. If she and Clay were ever taken from her life, Rae would be devastated. They were her pillars of strength, she needed them in her life; no matter how much she despised having to need anyone. Dixie looked up and smiled at Rae, opened her mouth to say something just as the phone rang. Dixie shrugged and took the bottles from Rae so she could answer the phone, a smile on her face as she continued to watch her best-friend and her Maddie, "Hello?" Dixie nuzzled her face against Maddie's cheek, "Hi, Ms. Gray?" Maddie giggled and tugged on Dixie's hair, "Yes? Who is this?" Dixie picked the girl up and settled her on the couch to tickle her, "This is Doctor Jordan from St. Mungo's. There's been an accident concerning Clayton Daniels. You're listed as his emergency contact information at the ministry, is this correct?" As Maddie laughed, Rae felt her breath being knocked out of her; "Accident, what kind of accident?"

Slowly, Rae sank into a nearby chair as the doctor relayed all the information he knew. There was a burglary at Clay's new cottage, he and Bryce were both hit with the killing curse – killed instantly. Dixie had noticed something was wrong as Rae's eyes filled with tears, as she managed a soft; "Thank you for calling me, I'll be right in…" she hung up the phone and looked up at Dixie, who was standing in front of her with Maddie on her hip. "What? What's wrong, Rae?" A tear escaped Rae's eye as she stood from the chair and started to gather her purse, Maddie's bag, and Dixie's things; "There's…there's been an accident. Clay and Bryce…they're…they're dead, Dixie. We have to get to St. Mungo's. Now. Ashley's probably already there." She didn't say anything more, afraid that she would break into pieces if she did.

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

Dixie was never good under pressure, which is funny to think about because her whole life has been about pressure. Dixie hadn't ever been able to do things perfectly when she was rushed, pressed for time, or nervous. When a friend needed her, however, it was a completely different story. The moment Rae told her what was going on; her heart broke into pieces, after all, Clay had been her friend…the one who had saved her from absolute ruin while she was in Paris; he knew more about her than most did, he had comforted her about Adam. To hear he had died had split her world into two pieces. But that was only a fraction of what Rae was feeling, surely. And so, Dixie had gathered her strength and gotten everything ready before apparating them away from the cottage into St. Mungo's where Bryce and Clay were being held before…being transferred to the morgue. They needed an ID on the bodies, apparently. Dixie would have to do it. Rae was in a total state of shock, and she clung to Maddie as if the toddler were a lifesaver thrown into raging oceans that Rae was now alone in. Dixie wished there was something she could do for her friend, but she knew she would have to wait to find out what exactly.

St. Mungo's was exactly as Dixie remembered it from when she was in there for a couple of days. The pristine white walls didn't give any comfort, the medical technicians and doctors were running here and there. Dixie gave her name at the front desk and got the information of where to go, then she lead Rae down the hall toward the right direction with her hand on the small of her back. Dixie swallowed as they turned the corner that had the door to the room Bryce and Clay were in, but before they could even get inside – they spotted Ashley, her hands covering her face as she leaned against the window. Rae looked at Dixie, who frowned and then walked slowly over to her other best-friend. She pulled Ashley into her arms and wrapped them around her tight, "It's alright, Ash…" The girl shook in Dixie's arms and after a moment, she looked at Rae. Rae walked over to them and shifted Maddie on her hip so she could Ashley, too, even though tears were falling from her eyes, as well. "Why don't you two go and get some coffee? I'll do this." Before either of them could protest, Dixie looked at them sternly, "Go. It's okay. Go on." Rae wrapped an arm around Ashley's shoulder, and Ashley wrapped an arm around Rae's waist, and they set off to the cafeteria to get some coffee. Dixie watched them go, and then she took a deep breath and turned to head into the room. She paused, though, and pulled out her cell phone.

She hadn't talked to Adam in awhile, not since she had left and moved in with Rae temporarily. There was so much tension between them that Dixie couldn't stand it. But now, she needed her husband more than she needed anything else. Perhaps they could set aside their stubbornness and get through this together. It was hurting her just as much as it was hurting Rae, Clay's death. He was a good friend, and Dixie…didn’t think she would ever lose him. She pressed the phone to her ear and listened to the ring, finally Adam answered and Dixie spoke softly; "Hi…I'm at St. Mungo's. There's been an accident. Bryce and Clay… are dead. I was…I was hoping maybe…" Her voice broke and she tasted salty tears on her lips, "Please come? I need you." She didn't hang up until he had agreed to come, and then she wiped at her tears in an almost frustrated way and pushed open the door to the hospital room. Immediately, a doctor stood up; "Ms. Gray?" Dixie shook her head and extended her hand, "Mrs. Greene, Ms. Gray's best friend. She couldn't… come in, and neither could Ashley Hill. I told them I'd take care of everything, I know…" Dixie paused, "knew both of them." The doctor looked sympathetic and nodded understandably.

"Alright, well, I just need you to give me a positive ID and then sign off on this statement…" He flicked his wand a paper appeared in his hand, which he handed to Dixie, "Then we'll send them off, and everything else can be done by you." Dixie didn't need to be told that 'everything else' included the funeral. She nodded stiffly, and croaked out; "Okay…" She took the paper from him and clutched it in her hands. He looked at her again, sympathetic, and then headed over to the nearest gurney. Dixie took a deep breath, not sure if she was ready for this, but knowing it had to be her. Slowly, he pulled down the white sheet and Dixie let out a strangled cry. Bryce lay there, his eyes closed, but she knew that if they were open she'd see nothing. His life, soul, and everything had been taken away from him. He looked pale, waxy even, and Dixie couldn't believe that was really him. But it was... "That's Bryce Alexander." Her voice came out in a whisper and she pressed her hand to her chest. It was as if she were feeling Ashley's pain. The doctor nodded and pulled the sheet back up over Bryce before moving to the next gurney. Dixie's stomach churned and she felt herself grow lightheaded. She couldn't do this, but she had to. She nodded, telling the doctor she was ready, and then he pulled back Clay's sheet.

Clay lay there, as Bryce did. His eyes closed, but his mouth was turned upward into a small, secretive smile. It made Dixie smile slightly, which probably looked odd to the doctor. She took a step forward and stretched out her hand, brushing it over his cheek gently. It was cool to the touch, but the doctor didn't stop her. "Clay…" she whispered as she stood next to the gurney, tears welling in her eyes again. "Thank you…for everything. Thank you for…for…helping me in Paris, for making me feel like myself again, for showing me there are things worth living for. Thank you for never giving up on me…for believing in me more than anyone I've ever known. Thank you for helping Rae. Thank you for caring." Dixie leaned over and kissed his forehead, her lips trembling either from sobs or from shock; "I love you, Clayton Daniels; you're one of my best friends." She had to say it. She needed to. It would feel wrong saying it in front of people at his funeral. They were words for him to hear. The doctor just happened to be there. Dixie looked up at him now and nodded, "Got a pen?" He handed her one and she quickly signed her name before hurrying out of the room. She felt like it was caving in on her.

As she leaned against the wall, she closed her eyes. Tears escaped her closed lids and she felt her breath coming in sharp gasps. She rested her hand on her abdomen, on the living and growing child inside her. Why must life be so twisted and cruel? Sobs sounded from deep within her, resonating eerily down the hall. She was glad Rae and Ash were far enough away not to hear her. She didn't want them to see her like this. Dixie nearly keeled over as she cried, but strong arms held her up and to a warm body. She clung to it, knowing it was Adam; her cries muffled by his shirt.

((Adam, if you can post him and Dixie finding Rae and Ash in the cafeteria, that'd be great. )

[Professor Adam Greene]

The last few weeks of Adam's life had been from his worst possible nightmare. A newlywed, and he was now living alone. How did that make sense? After his fight with Dixie, she decided to move in with Rae, and much to his surprise, she had stuck it out longer than he had figured she would. Barely talking to him unless it was needed, it was like he and Dixie didn't even exist anymore. He had said a few heartless things though, and it was no wonder why she would want to get away from him. The separation was hard though, and Adam wished that he could just stop being stubborn and apologize, but nothing ever came out when he had the opportunity.

On top of that fiasco, the school year had been winding down at Hogwarts. There were tons of last minute assignments to correct, and Adam's mind was hardly at its best these days. The wear and tear of adult life was finally getting to him, a young eighteen year old who thought he could handle the big ocean. Adam was now realizing how small he really was in the world around him. And now... now he was going to be a dad? The thought was still too big for him to fully comprehend.

The sun was peeking through a wispy cloud as Adam exited the grand Hogwarts castle. He used the Accio charm to retrieve his broom from its regular hiding place and prepared to fly home like he did every day after work. Today though would be the last day in a while. With the school year ending, Adam had a few weeks off from work; a vacation which he was in desperate need for. With the wind whipping through his hair, he flew off toward Hogsmeade, the tips of the trees just inches from his feet.

While he was flying, Adam's mind was racing as it had been recently. The fight between he and Dixie had been going over and over again, much to his regret. Just then, a faint beeping sound brought him from his trance. It took him a few seconds to realize what it was. His cell-phone. Dixie had insisted just after their marriage that the two of them invest in the muggle objects. Apparently, they were good for "emergencies" as Dixie explained. Adam couldn't understand why magic wasn't good enough, but he didn't argue. Back then, he'd have agreed to ride a horse everywhere he went if Dixie thought it was a good idea.

He fidgeted with the small electronic device (while still trying to maneuver his broom, mind you) and finally flipped it open to hear his wife's voice at the other end. He could instantly detect a hesitancy in her voice, clearly not what he was expecting. Though the phone was primarily for emergencies, he didn't think that this would be one of them. Sure enough though, it was and emergency; a devastating one at that.

"Dead!?" he questioned, loosing some altitude in the meantime. The shock of Dixie's words were enough to make him loose his concentration on the broom. Regaining control, Adam didn't know what more to say to Dixie, for he was quite taken back by the information. "I'll be there," he answered finally, hearing a small click to signify that she had hung up. Adam pressed harder onto the broom handle, trying to get to the cottage as fast as he could so that he could apparate to St. Mungo's.

***

Turning a corner in busy muggle London, Adam found the familiar entrance to St. Mungo's. He used the secret technique of talking to the dummy and then walked through the window into the same place that he remembered from his accident. Finding the nearest information desk, he was then pointed in the right direction to where Clay and Bryce were probably being held. The thought that they could be dead had caused him to feel a sick unease in his stomach.

Hurrying down the corridors, Adam stopped when he saw the hunched over figure of Dixie just down the hall. She was hurting. It was more than he had seen her hurt before, and that was saying a lot, considering their recent fight. Walking up behind her, Adam wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to her feet so that she was now facing him. "I... I'm here for you," he whispered, quite unsure what to even say in this situation. Adam wasn't particularly close with Bryce or Clay, but he knew them well. He also knew that Clay had been the one person who Dixie had trusted during the time she was in Paris. A part of Adam had always been jealous of that fact, but in this very moment, he felt no jealousy at all.

After a few minutes passed in which the two of them simply stood there in each other's arms, Adam suggested that they find Ashley and Rae. Dixie nodded, and the two of them set off toward the cafeteria where most of the families and friends of the patients would be waiting.

Adam saw Rae and Ashley, both sipping on cups of hot beverages when he and Dixie entered the cafeteria. He let Dixie go over to the girls, knowing that the three of them probably needed time to grieve in the way that was best for them. Quite frankly, Adam didn't know what to do. He felt like a lost child, scared and out of place. It was one of the worst feelings he had ever had, only short of knowing that he was currently hurting the one woman who he loved more than love itself.

[Raelee Gray]

Rae and Ash had found the cafeteria easily enough, but Rae couldn't remember where it was located or how they had gotten there. Maddie was quiet, sensing that something was wrong, and so she stayed on Rae's hip with wide blue eyes looking around at all directions. Rae slid into the mint green plastic booth that was against a wall as Ashley went to get them two cups of coffee. Rae remembered that St. Mungo's coffee hadn't tasted any better than muggle hospital coffee, but she was desperate for anything. Maddie was sitting in Rae's lap, playing with her key ring that had a key to her house, the office, Dixie's cottage, Ash and Bryce's cottage, and Clay's cottage. Rae's eyes were drawn to the little gold key that was Clay's, had been Clay's. With a shaking hand, she smoothed back Maddie's hair and kissed the side of her head. The little girl gurgled and shook the key ring, but a smile did not cross her face. What was going to happen to Maddie now that Clay was dead? She was an orphan. Her mother had died and that was how Clay had gotten custody of her. Would she go into an orphanage? Rae's arms tightened around the little girl subconsciously. She didn't want to lose her, too.

Ashley set a cup of coffee in front of Rae, and Rae put it to her lips – drinking from it gently so as not to burn her tongue. The taste was horrible, but it did its job of warming her up. She felt so cold, so icy, empty. Ashley slid into the seat opposite her and Rae looked at her, evaluating everything. She knew that Ash and Bryce had moved in together only a couple of days ago, they were still in the transitioning phase of getting everything unpacked. Ashley had been ecstatic and of course, Dixie and Rae had been happy for them – even if Dixie was depressed. Speaking of, where was Dixie? Rae owed her a big thank you for taking charge like that, even though she knew that Dixie was hurting just as much as the other two were. Dixie was always one to take care of her friends, which was precisely why she would make a good mother. Rae sat back in her seat and smoothed Maddie's hair again, bouncing the little girl gently in her lap as she tried to keep the tears back. Ashley was surprisingly not crying, but Rae understood why. Shock made it difficult to do such a thing. She knew Ashley would cry later on, she just had to make sure that she wasn't alone for it; "Why don't you stay with me tonight?" Rae asked quietly, her voice hoarse. She reached and took another sip of her coffee.

The steady clicking of heels interrupted Rae's thoughts and Ashley from saying something. Rae lifted her head and saw Dixie, with Adam, heading in their direction. Dixie's eyes were red and Rae knew she had been crying. It figured that Dixie would make sure she was under some control before letting Ash and Rae see her that way. Adam seemed slightly out of place, and it hit Rae that he was once again – the only male in their group of friends. She felt her heart go out to him in a small way, her eyes staring straight at him. For a brief second, she felt jealousy. She was jealous that Dixie still had him. She was mad that they were being petty and arguing over something that should have been a celebration. Life. Life was a celebration. And both of them were too damn stubborn to see it. Rae tore her gaze away from Adam and stood from the bench, shifting Maddie on her hip again, as Dixie made her way over toward her and Ash. "We can go…" Dixie whispered as she hugged Rae and then Ash in turn. Rae stared and then nodded, "Go where? Are you coming back to my house….? Or…?" Her eyes flickered to look at Adam again, and Dixie turned to look over her shoulder at him before turning back to her friends.

"We can go back to my place," Dixie said gently, but none of them made move to apparate out. It was as if there was something keeping them connected to the place. Rae looked at Maddie who had buried her face into Rae's blonde hair, and then she looked at Adam who was standing awkwardly out of the way. Dixie looked at the coffee on the table and instantly reached for it, almost bringing it to her lips when Rae spoke up, "Caffeine, Dix." A groan escaped her and she put it down, Rae smiled slightly. It felt good, to act as if things were normal. Except, the pregnancy wasn't normal for Adam. Rae looked back over at Adam and then at Maddie. Dixie caught Rae's glance and without a second thought, she reached behind her and found Adam's hand, weaving her fingers in between his and holding his hand tight. Rae nodded slightly and looked at Ashley. They all didn't know what to do, where to go. It was as if they had reached this road that ended abruptly and there was no room to turn around. Silence danced over them, settling like a film of dust. Maddie even sneezed.

[Ashley Hill]

Everything inside of Ashley ached; her arms, her legs, her head, and most especially her heart. It felt like the muscle could stop any second from all the pain washing through her system. How could this have happened again? Why did she have to lose another person she loved? Ashley had first lost Ryan and now Bryce. Who next; Elina, her parents, Rae, or maybe even Dixie? Was life punishing her? Did it take joy in making her miserable? At that moment, Ashley punched into the window hoping all her anger would be sustained. It did, but there was an even greater throbbing in her palm now. Bringing her hands to her face, Ashley let out loud gasps of air, not a single tear shredding from her brown eyes. Some would think it unusual for Ashley not to cry. She had lost a loved one and that made it all the more reason for her to be sobbing. Bryce wouldn’t have wanted her to cry. He would maybe want Ashley to grieve, but then again he never expected his life to end today. Ashley should have made him stay home. They could have finished unpacking. He would have still been here if she told him too. Hearing footsteps behind her caused Ashley to turn around, bringing her hands to her sides. Rae, Dixie and Maddie were standing behind her, tears about to escape their sad eyes. As they all came together in a hug, Ashley closed her eyes tight, her body shaking violently. “Why?” she whispered barely burying her face in Dixie’s locks of brown hair. After a moment they broke apart, Dixie demanding that they go get coffee. Ashley looked over into the room torn between wanting to kiss Bryce goodbye and just letting Dixie ID the bodies.

Touching the window with the tips of her fingers, Ashley closed her eyes nodding slowly at Dixie’s proposal. Maddie didn’t need to see her father dead. It would be traumatic on her. Wrapping an arm around Rae’s waist, Ashley followed closely next to her best friend to the cafeteria breaking apart to get the coffee. Ashley felt dead as she grabbed two cubs from the plastic dispenser, filling them both with the black liquid. She wasn’t much of a caffeine person, but was greatly in need of some energy. Paying the woman behind the counter, Ashley grabbed a few packets of sugar and those minuscule straws before making her way toward the table Rae was sitting at. Setting the cup in front of her friend, Ashley watched the girl wrap her arm around the child’s body the same question popping into her head. What was to happen to Maddie? “I – I think you can get full custody over Maddie,” Ashley reassured Rae reaching her hand over to smooth the child’s child. It made Ashley think of how she and Bryce were trying to have a child. They weren’t even married, but that didn’t stop them. Taking a deep breath as she opened a pack of sugar, Ashley slowly added it into the cup before blending it into the coffee. Her brown hair fell into her face, but Ashley didn’t bother to move it. She wanted Bryce to be sitting next to her, his fingers brushing across her cheek as he pushed the strands of hair behind Ashley’s ear. But he wasn’t. Hearing Rae ask Ashley to stay at her house, she looked up at the girl nodding slowly. “Thank you….I don’t think I can go back to our cottage…” Ashley whispered staring back down into her coffee. She couldn’t bring herself to go back into their house. It was part of their future that was shattered.

Her thoughts seized at the sound of heels clicking across the cafeteria floors. Looking up into Dixie’s face, Ashley looked beyond her at Adam who seemed dazed by everything that was happening. They were still in a fight, but why couldn’t they just forgive each other. There was no way they could undo Dixie becoming pregnant. Adam would just have to man up and take his responsibility as a father. His son needed him. Ashley desperately wanted to tell him that. Gazing back down into her drink, she listened to Rae and Dixie talk about heading back toward Dixie’s house. Ashley didn’t have the heart to tell them no. That she was ready to see Bryce now. Closing her eyes, Ashley only smiled softly as Rae reminded Dixie about not drinking the coffee. It wouldn’t be good for the baby. There was silence for a moment, Ashley sipping her drink until it was gone. “I – I think it’s time to go,” she said her voice shaking with each word. Nodding Ashley looked around at her friends one last time before closing her eyes and appearing within seconds at the Greene cottage. It was still as Ashley remembered it being and also surprisingly clean for a man living by himself. The others appeared next to her, Maddie sleeping against Rae’s chest. Smiling at the sight, Ashley ran her fingers through her hair as she noticed Adam still distancing himself from Dixie. What was he doing? He couldn’t still be playing this game with his wife.

“You know what,” Ashley said her voice ringing through the house. She was tired of Dixie and Adam being like this. They were the ones who got married and knew the commitment behind it. “I think you should get over yourself Adam.” Turning around to face the older man, Ashley’s brown eyes pierced his, her arms crossing across her chest comfortably. She felt angry toward him. Maybe it was just her trying to get her resentment out on life, but Adam was just the closet target. “You should be lucky that Dixie and you are still alive and are going to have this wonderful child that can bring joy into both of your lives.” Running her fingers through her hair as she felt like throwing something, Ashley kept that emotion down. “Rae and I can’t do that. We lost someone special in our lives that we wanted to have futures with. Two people whom we probably wanted to get married and start a family with.” Stepping forward to the point where Ashley was just inches away from Adam, she stared up into his face. “Well, that was taken away from us, but you can still have yours with Dixie. So man up and take responsibility as a father. I know your scared and weren’t ready for this but what about the people that were? What about those who wanted to give something different to their children those there parents never gave them? You should be lucky, but instead you’re the one running away from your future.”

[Professor Adam Greene]

Standing on his own, Adam starred blankly at the three women huddled together in the booth. His eyes instinctively were drawn to the little girl, Maddie, nuzzled in Rae's arms. Adam had never seen her before, but he knew right away that this was Clay's daughter. Every time that he had heard Clay talk about her, it was with a joyful tone and a loving smile. The bond between a parent and child was potentially limitless, and yet there he was, starring at a young girl who had lost the only person in the world who obviously cared so much for her. Adam felt his stomach churn with sadness, anxiety, and fear. If anything, this only made his apprehension of becoming a father more realistic and frightening. What if he died? What if it were himself who had left behind a lonely child in such a big world? Once again he felt so incapable of the responsibility which had landed in his lap.

Soon, the girls had decided to take a break from the hospital. There wasn't much more that they could do at that point anyways. Arrangements would need to be made for the funerals, but beyond that, they were of no further use. Adam wasn't sure what his role in all of this would be, but he decided that most of all he just wanted to be there for Dixie. He didn't know how, considering their recent status, but he knew he wanted to help her through this time of loss. In an instant, the five bodies had disappeared from the small cafeteria and then reappeared in his home which had recently been quite empty and quiet. Dixie hadn't been there in a week or so, and Adam couldn't help but take a small comfort in seeing his wife back where she belonged. If only it were that simple, but he knew it wasn't.

Then, out of nowhere, Adam fell prey to a seemingly vengeful rant cast at him by Ashley. He wasn't sure how to take her words of accusation, seeing that she was the one of the three girls that he knew the least. Frozen with confusion, he stood and let her vent, knowing that she must have been feeling ten times the amount of emotion that he himself had been experiencing. After all, she had just lost the love of her life. Adam could only try to imagine the pain she must have been feeling, and even then he knew that his imagination was not capable of knowing the true feeling. "I... I'm sorry," he managed, not sure who the apology was even intended for. He flashed Dixie a begging look, hoping that she might realize that this wasn't the time nor place for him to make right everything that had been made wrong. He felt bad, he truly did, but Adam knew, as well as everyone else, that a simple sorry wasn't going to fix everything. He simply hoped though that Dixie might understand and aid in appeasing the emotion that Ashley had so suddenly dumped onto him.

"I am thankful... and I am lucky..." he continued, but his words faded away and his mind filled with so many thoughts that he simply couldn't continue. The moment was filled with so much emotion that he felt smothered; desperate for air. "Can I get anyone something to drink? Something cold or hot?" Adam was aware that he was avoiding the accusation that Ashley had sprung onto him. He knew that he was changing the subject. But he had to. How was he supposed to sort through all of his own feelings of insecurities and fear while they all were supposed to be dealing with the deaths of two of their closest friends. It was all too much for one moment, and Adam needed to escape at least part of the weight that was bearing down on him. "Dixie, why don't we put something together. I'm sure it'd be good if we get some food into our systems." He gave another pleading look to his wife, hoping that she might understand. For once in the past few weeks, Adam felt like he just needed her again. He needed a moment alone with his wife while he tried to sort through everything that had been happening.

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

Dixie was good at taking charge in times of crisis. It was something that she had gained from her childhood, from Bethlem. She was good at finding a way to gain control, even when her world was spinning out of control. Presently, Dixie was trying to keep everything in Rae's life and everything in Ashley's life under control or at least, semi-under control for the time being. It was helping her maintain a sense of calm. She knew that when she went to bed that night, she would cry herself to sleep, she would fall under the veil of depression awhile longer. When they appeared in her living room, though, Dixie felt a calming effect. She belonged here. This was where she was meant to be. It felt right to stand in her own house, even if the last time she had been in there – it had been the scene of an argument. The memory of the argument tore through her and caused her stomach to churn, but she forced the emotions down and put a stopper on them- now wasn't the time.

Just as she was about to tell everyone to have a seat, get something to eat, and then get something for Maddie to play with while they tried to figure out what to do next, Ashley let loose on Adam. Dixie's eyes grew wide as the younger girl tore into her husband, calling him out on his childishness. She looked at Adam who was looking at her for help, but Dixie was frozen in spot. Ashley was emotional, she was out of control, but Dixie knew she was grieving. There wasn't much she could do, and while Dixie felt guilty that her best friend was tearing into her husband, she didn't know how to handle it. After Ashley had finished, Dixie looked at Adam with a look of apology in her eyes. "Ash…" Dixie said warningly, but Adam spoke at the same time. She looked at Adam again and then smiled slightly, tight lipped, not quite sure what to say. It wasn’t the place, nor the time, but she knew Ashley wasn't going to let Adam off the hook.

"I app—" she was cut off, though, by Adam saying that he was thankful and he was lucky, and then he seemed to grasp for help by offering drinks. Dixie placed a hand on his arm gently, "Yeah, let's go do that…" she squeezed her husband's arm before pulling her purse off her shoulder and opening the flap. She pulled out a small teddy bear that she had bought at the store a couple of days back, for some reason or another she had grabbed it before they had apparated out of Rae's cottage- perhaps in a last minute comfort. She set her purse on the couch and then turned to Maddie who was in Rae's arms, her big blue eyes staring at everyone with fear. Dixie smoothed the child's hair and offered the teddy bear to her. Maddie stretched for it and grabbed it, holding it by its arm. Dixie kissed her forehead, her lips trembling, "It's alright, Baby Doll." Maddie closed her eyes and buried her face in Rae's hair again, allowing Dixie to straighten up and smile at her friend, "You guys take a seat, we'll go and get some things together. If Maddie gets tired, you can put her in our room to sleep…" Rae nodded, flickering her gaze between Adam and Dixie and then to Ashley before sitting down on the couch.

With a released breath, she headed toward the kitchen, letting her fingers brush over Adam's shirtsleeve before she entered the other room. As she started to gather things, pulling out glasses and filling them with ice, finding tea and soda and juice, pulling out some bread and magicking some sandwich fixings together on the bread, Dixie found her chest constricting and tears springing to her eyes again. Why did the world have to spin out of control? Why couldn't it just go at a pace, a pace that she could deal with? A happy, lovely pace? Her hands shook as she filled a small plastic cup with milk for Maddie, and topped with a lid – she had a few of those types of cups for Maddie whenever she visited. It was good to have some sort of preparation, and it made Dixie feel semi-in control. She felt Adam standing behind her, and without turning around she said in a soft tone of voice, "I'm sorry for Ashley, we're all just…" Dixie sighed deeply and closed her eyes, "It's a mess, Adam, and…" she turned around and looked at her husband, "I understand that you aren't ready to be a father, Honey, really… I do. But I can't do it alone…"

[Professor Adam Greene]

To Adam's relief, Dixie had seemed to sense his need to escape the living room for a bit, and soon the two of them were in the kitchen, silence surrounded them. Adam stood frozen in place for a bit, paralyzed by a million thoughts that went in and out of his mind faster than he could process them all. Around him, Dixie was fixing up lunch, going through the motions almost effortlessly until she apparently hit the same wall that had them all stuck in a state of confusion and helplessness.

Adam saw his wife begin to cry, and instincts lead him to her side where he embraced her in a hug for the second time that day. It was a feeling that allowed him to forget the pain, at least momentarily, but Adam was grateful for any little bit of alleviation from the heaviness that washed over them. "Don't apologize for her," he whispered. "I probably deserved most of what she said, anyways.

Her next statement went straight through him, just as the whole topic of parenthood had been cutting a hole in him lately. It was hard for him to explain, for as much as he was terrified, unprepared, and simply overwhelmed by it all, there was still a flicker of light which he could see in the whole situation. Still, the light was drowned out by so much more that Adam couldn't quite grasp the small bit of hope that Dixie seemed to be clinging to. He knew she couldn't do it alone, and he knew it was his responsibility to make sure she didn't have to. But, he simply didn't know how even begin to accept what was inevitable.

"It's not that I don't want to be a father," he explained again. "I just.... I'm scared to death." Dixie had heard it all before, and Adam felt bad that he was still unable to stand up to the task ahead of him. Where was his bravery? Where was his strength? Sometimes he felt as thought it all had slipped away, but a piece of him was determined to gain it back. Seeing Dixie so alone and desperate for his help made him hate himself for being so weak. "I'm going to be here for you," he said. "I don't know how yet, but I promise I will figure this all out. I just need more time... that's all. You won't be alone." He hoped that she'd understand. He was trying his hardest to know what to do or how to conquer his fear, but no matter what he said or did, he couldn't shake the overpowering feelings of incapability. Where was the Adam who knew what he wanted and went after it? Where was the drive and the ambition to be great? Surely it was buried somewhere, and he'd simply have to keep digging to find it.

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

She felt his arms around her and it was as if everything clicked back into the place it had been before the argument. The last time they had spoken about the pregnancy, it was filled with anger, and there was shouting, and she had left. Dixie hadn't wanted it to be that way, and if you had asked her if she thought that would be the direction it took, she would have laughed and shook her head. It was something completely unexpected and Dixie hated unexpected things. This, though, his arms around her, in their own kitchen – it made Dixie relax…some of the tension seeping from her shoulders. She didn't just stand there as he hugged her, she turned and began to rest her head against his chest, but sighed when she realised she was the same height as him.

Reaching down, she hooked her finger under her slingback heel and pulled it off, then the other. Now, she was the right height. Her head settled easily against his chest, tucked under his chin, her arms wrapped around his waist as she shook slightly and tried to process everything in her mind. She listened to him and instead of feeling anger for his fear – she felt it. She actually felt it well up inside her, turn its big ugly head at her and snarl. She felt it so strongly, because it was her fear, too. Not necessarily the fear of being a mother, but the fear of not being able to do it right. She waited until Adam was done talking, and she stood there for a while, breathing evenly as her eyes blinked away her tears.

"Yeah," she finally whispered as she lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him, a tear escaping from the corner of her eye. She lifted her hand and wiped at it, "Will it help you any to know that I'm just as scared, too? You ever hear that saying, that one that says we all end up like our parents…?" Dixie closed her eyes tight, "I can't be like my mother, and I won't be like my father in any aspect. I'm not afraid of…the things to come or anything like that, I'm afraid of not being able to give our child everything that my parents didn't give me." She opened her eyes again and shrugged gently before pulling away from Adam to return to making the drinks. The sandwiches had stacked themselves on a plate.

After a beat of silence, Dixie let a small smile tug at her lips, "Well, one thing is for sure…we can't figure this out living in separate houses… and I think that Rae and Ashley are going to stay together for a bit now, along with Maddie. So, there's no more room for me at Rae's…" She watched the soda fizz in the glass, then poured a glass of juice for herself, before turning to look at Adam, "I mean…that is, if you want me back home. I know you said you needed time to figure it out, but I…I don't know, didn't take that as you wanting me out while you figured it out."