Post by Ariane Chan on Aug 5, 2008 10:35:20 GMT
"I'm sorry."
"Like hell you are," Ariane bit aggressively whilst staring at her reflection, ice and anger and misery staring back with sore eyes.
"I didn't think I was going to leave..."
"No, no, you didn't even think about leaving me behind after making a commitment to me." Uncut fingernails ground against her palm, fist shaking in chaotic emotions. "Damnit, I'm talking to myself now. He's gone. He's gone, so why am I talking to myself? It won't solve anything. He's gone." A choke escaped Ariane's lips, a pained, lonely sound in the empty bedroom.
The house was unoccupied save for her dwindling soul in the room she and Harmony shared. Mr and Mrs Chan were working; Leo with friends; Harmony buying supplies; and Aurora... Aurora escaping her. Fleeing from her. Ashamed, so thoroughly ashamed of her behaviour, Ariane buried her head in her arms on the dressing table, ebony tresses spilling across the mahogany wood and mingling with the darkness. "I'm sorry. I'll always be sorry."
Memories. Little, happy memories with him. They had once filled Ariane's heart, making it so full she thought it would burst. It sounded cliched, but it was true. Ariane wasn't stupid. She had expected that one day it would end, right? Of course. No one would be that naive to hang onto one hope, especially if that hope was Tristan MacCay. "Should've known better."
Ariane was sick of pining; she was sick of being pathetic and unreasonable. She'd spent an entire year in one man's arms, forgetting her best friend, forgetting even her sister, and now that he'd left her, which she had been expecting, she couldn't even look at her own reflection in the mirror and smile. "I don't deserve friends like Aurora. Sisters like Harmony. Family like Aunt Jenny and Uncle George."
Drawn curtains in broad daylight didn't stop those persistent, unwilling-to-give-up rays of sunshine seeping in through the cracks and corners, the only light left in a room devoid of life and happiness. Ariane turned her head and tried to stare at herself again, look upon the mess that was Ariane Chan, reduced to pieces by Tristan MacCay, and all she saw were blurs of grey, and realised with a start that her view was obscured by wet tears filling her eyes, trickling down the edges, travelling across her cheek, hanging off the cliff of her chin to fall into oblivion to be soaked dry.
"Stop crying," Ariane ordered her conscience. "Stop it right now!" Her screams in her mind grew louder and louder, her tears streamed faster and faster, her cheeks glistening with proof of her broken heart, and Ariane hated it. "STOP IT!" A final scream, echoing off the walls enclosing her, growing smaller and smaller. "Stop it," she whispered again, her shoulders shaking with the effort of concealing her pain.
"You've gone, so what am I now?" Ariane asked Tristan, as though he was sitting right next to her, innocent and wide-eyed and beautiful on the creased covers of her bed. "What am I now?" she asked him again, rougher and desperate. "You're the one who left me, so tell me, Tristan. Give me some answers, because you've gone and I don't know what to do any more. I don't even know who I am any more."
"You made me who I am today. You changed me. Then you took it all away."
"You know," Ariane began again bitterly, slumping in her chair and forgetting her eyes continued to leak the solid proof of tears. "I thought we'd be together forever. H-How stupid am I? Me, who never believes in anything or anyone. I believed in you. I thought you'd always be there for me. But then!" her voice growing more hysterical, rising in pitch and in pain, "Then you tell me you're going to America and never coming back, and I should just forget you. Forget?" Ariane's laugh was barked and bitter. "Are you an idiot, Tristan? You and I, we're just idiots."
Lapsing into silence and imaginary Tristan fading away, Ariane watched hopelessly as he left her once more. "Please. Please don't leave me." That was what she had said to him when he'd told her, that day just after the summer had began, when he'd broken the news and broken her heart. "Please, Tristan." But he had ignored her pleas; he didn't react to the fact she was and had changed everything for him, from her soul deep down inside.
One kiss, chaste and aching, the very same as the first time Ariane had placed her lips against his, and then he had turned around and faded away, very much the same as right now, and Ariane had watched the back of a man she loved leave her, soft blonde hair blowing in the wind, caressed and kissed by the golden sun, leaving her with shattered hopes, a broken heart, and a pained kiss.
"Goodbye, Ariane."
"Like hell you are," Ariane bit aggressively whilst staring at her reflection, ice and anger and misery staring back with sore eyes.
"I didn't think I was going to leave..."
"No, no, you didn't even think about leaving me behind after making a commitment to me." Uncut fingernails ground against her palm, fist shaking in chaotic emotions. "Damnit, I'm talking to myself now. He's gone. He's gone, so why am I talking to myself? It won't solve anything. He's gone." A choke escaped Ariane's lips, a pained, lonely sound in the empty bedroom.
The house was unoccupied save for her dwindling soul in the room she and Harmony shared. Mr and Mrs Chan were working; Leo with friends; Harmony buying supplies; and Aurora... Aurora escaping her. Fleeing from her. Ashamed, so thoroughly ashamed of her behaviour, Ariane buried her head in her arms on the dressing table, ebony tresses spilling across the mahogany wood and mingling with the darkness. "I'm sorry. I'll always be sorry."
Memories. Little, happy memories with him. They had once filled Ariane's heart, making it so full she thought it would burst. It sounded cliched, but it was true. Ariane wasn't stupid. She had expected that one day it would end, right? Of course. No one would be that naive to hang onto one hope, especially if that hope was Tristan MacCay. "Should've known better."
Ariane was sick of pining; she was sick of being pathetic and unreasonable. She'd spent an entire year in one man's arms, forgetting her best friend, forgetting even her sister, and now that he'd left her, which she had been expecting, she couldn't even look at her own reflection in the mirror and smile. "I don't deserve friends like Aurora. Sisters like Harmony. Family like Aunt Jenny and Uncle George."
Drawn curtains in broad daylight didn't stop those persistent, unwilling-to-give-up rays of sunshine seeping in through the cracks and corners, the only light left in a room devoid of life and happiness. Ariane turned her head and tried to stare at herself again, look upon the mess that was Ariane Chan, reduced to pieces by Tristan MacCay, and all she saw were blurs of grey, and realised with a start that her view was obscured by wet tears filling her eyes, trickling down the edges, travelling across her cheek, hanging off the cliff of her chin to fall into oblivion to be soaked dry.
"Stop crying," Ariane ordered her conscience. "Stop it right now!" Her screams in her mind grew louder and louder, her tears streamed faster and faster, her cheeks glistening with proof of her broken heart, and Ariane hated it. "STOP IT!" A final scream, echoing off the walls enclosing her, growing smaller and smaller. "Stop it," she whispered again, her shoulders shaking with the effort of concealing her pain.
"You've gone, so what am I now?" Ariane asked Tristan, as though he was sitting right next to her, innocent and wide-eyed and beautiful on the creased covers of her bed. "What am I now?" she asked him again, rougher and desperate. "You're the one who left me, so tell me, Tristan. Give me some answers, because you've gone and I don't know what to do any more. I don't even know who I am any more."
"You made me who I am today. You changed me. Then you took it all away."
"You know," Ariane began again bitterly, slumping in her chair and forgetting her eyes continued to leak the solid proof of tears. "I thought we'd be together forever. H-How stupid am I? Me, who never believes in anything or anyone. I believed in you. I thought you'd always be there for me. But then!" her voice growing more hysterical, rising in pitch and in pain, "Then you tell me you're going to America and never coming back, and I should just forget you. Forget?" Ariane's laugh was barked and bitter. "Are you an idiot, Tristan? You and I, we're just idiots."
Lapsing into silence and imaginary Tristan fading away, Ariane watched hopelessly as he left her once more. "Please. Please don't leave me." That was what she had said to him when he'd told her, that day just after the summer had began, when he'd broken the news and broken her heart. "Please, Tristan." But he had ignored her pleas; he didn't react to the fact she was and had changed everything for him, from her soul deep down inside.
One kiss, chaste and aching, the very same as the first time Ariane had placed her lips against his, and then he had turned around and faded away, very much the same as right now, and Ariane had watched the back of a man she loved leave her, soft blonde hair blowing in the wind, caressed and kissed by the golden sun, leaving her with shattered hopes, a broken heart, and a pained kiss.
"Goodbye, Ariane."
