Finally Home {Ezzie}

[Ruth Hosker-Thornhill]

Returning to school- always a breath of fresh air for Ruth. A time to breathe, to relax, to take everything as a routine once more. Back at home in the Summer, life was uncertain. Her mother could spontaneously have fits and burst out with hateful, spiteful words- coming from nowhere, it seemed. Ruth no longer took any pleasure in her life at home and didn’t know how to treat her mother. She had felt imprisoned in her house, a stark contrast to how she knew her friends had lived in the holidays. Although Ruth would not complain about her situation with her mother, she knew that she couldn’t let things continue as they were. She had to do something, anything… but what? She had already hired a carer for Claudia whenever she was at school. Even this she was uncertain about, despite having demanded time to get to know the carer before letting her with an inch near her mother. For despite everything, despite the words and the hate, the confusion and the lost teenage years, Ruth could not get out of her head the fact that her mother was, in the end, just that- her mother. That was how Ruth was meant to feel, she supposed. Everything could be excused because Claudia was her mother. But she didn’t want to feel like that. That was a relationship that everyone had, but Ruth knew that some had cast those chains aside. She didn’t want to have to do the same… but one day, she knew she might have to. Otherwise how could she live her own life?

A sigh escaped from her lips as she tucked her legs beneath her, drawing her body even closer in an attempt to fight the cold. She was wrapped sensibly against the winds of course, but it was not possible to escape the chill completely. Her knee-length patterned skirt was saved from getting dirtied by the stone bench she was sat upon, her dark leather boots hugging her toes while a black jumper and brown coat held the winter weather away from her torso- all beneath her tall robes. She had been back at school for just a few days and already had started studying. Not for all subjects, however. Ruth didn’t need to revise things like Ancient Runes and History until those exams threatened; she had no doubt that she would sail through them easily enough. But had to practise her wand magic and was attempting so now, first by studying the matches between wand and caster, cores and flourishes. Her nose was in the book on her lap and she had been in this position for the past hour. Dinner time in the Hall had come and gone. Ruth didn't mind missing food so much. She wasn't in the mood for the hustle of the students as they rushed, nor the greedy sounds of hungry pupils as they ate their meal as though it were their last. Ruth Hosker-Thornhill hated crowds. Revising beside the lake with a bottle of water beside her and a book in her lap was much more her idea of a good evening.

Although Ruth was alone when she had started studying, she realised this wasn’t going to last long. A movement quite a distance away alerted her to this and she raised her head sharply. Her pale skin looked even paler- although it was not dark, the winter days were short and it was not as light as it had been an hour ago, the moon visible above the trees, its bright face reflected in the Lake before the Ravenclaw. Ruth raised her head further to look at the figure. She often did this; studied a character before meeting them. Esmeralda was a pupil she didn’t know, but she certainly knew her name. Although Ruth didn’t want to assume on the young girl’s character she couldn’t help but disapprove slightly. She, like most people at Hogwarts, knew at least the basics about Ezzie’s antics that year. To say they were unorthodox would say the least about it. Ruth was in a good mood however, and knew the kid didn’t want some sort of Ravenclaw-style lecture on how teenagers should be. So she nodded a short greeting and- would you believe it- even let her lips curl into a subtle smile.

[Esmeralda Mendez]

Ezzie was back. It had been one hell of a summer what with everything that had happened, but that was all over now. All the days of staying up late and sleeping in, having fun with Casey (who was dressed as Eden almost the whole time) and Carson, and sneaking around with TJ had all come and gone. Now Ezzie had to get back into the swing of things. She needed to get her butt back into therapy (as she’d been neglecting it over the summer) and she needed to get focused on her schoolwork again. Last year her grades fell miserably, and she wanted to pick up the slack again. But it was hard to play the good school girl again, after everything that had happened. As far as she knew, Ezzie and TJ were still going strong. He’d bought himself an apartment above some old music store so that Ezzie could actually have a place to go to when she went to go meet him in Hogsmeade. Ezzie and TJ had both agreed that especially after Sinclair’s newest article, their little hideout wasn’t exactly the best place for them to be meeting up. Ezzie couldn’t wait to see TJ again. Even though there were rumors that TJ had decided to go back to Hogwarts, but Ezzie hadn’t seen his face or heard any word from him that he had decided to come back, so she figured it wasn’t true. Ezzie never really set much importance on the gossip mill. Not after all she’d had to deal with because of it.

Holly Sinclair’s article was less than accepting. She completely trashed Ezzie’s lifestyle and her choices and didn’t give Ezzie any leeway to explain herself. Sinclair made the display in France look trashy and disgusting when really it had been romantic and beautiful. And sure, maybe she did sleep with TJ, but that didn’t make her any less of a person. Most of the article had been falsified or stretched anyway, yet the entire school was judging her character based on what she had read. Right now, Ezzie would do anything to stay away from those large crowds of staring people. She really didn’t care about her image anymore, but it definitely wasn’t fun putting up with the many people who didn’t think too highly about her right now. She was genuinely happy now, and she wasn’t going to let the media and her classmates ruin her happiness. Besides, the last time she’d been in the Great Hall, something very odd happened to her.

On the third night of their arrival, Ezzie had been sitting in the Great Hall with Casey. Carson and Casey weren’t speaking, but Ezzie was sure that wouldn’t last long. Ezzie and Ethan had known the two were made for each other for a very long time. Their love was too strong and far too pure to be lost in a simple fight. In fact, Ezzie remembered fighting with Ethan often, but eventually, they’d all made it back to one another. Well…all except the very last time obviously. Ezzie still hadn’t heard from the older student. She’d be a seventh year now, but Ezzie really hadn’t seen her around at all since Ethan’s funeral. Was she even at Ethan’s funeral?

Ezzie shook her head, shaking the thought away. That wasn’t the point. Ezzie had never liked the girl, but she supposed now all was said and done, so even if she did see the girl again she supposed she wouldn’t have cared. Her mind really needed to stop wandering so much. The point was that Ezzie had been in the Great Hall on the third night of her fifth year, (it was so odd calling herself a fifth year now) someone had sent her a mysterious red rose, accompanied with a small letter. Ezzie hadn’t seen the owl that had delivered it, so she could only wonder. Ezzie walked out of her common room in her winter robes, ready for a bit of a walk while everyone was eating dinner. It wasn’t that she was falling into her old habits again, it was just that she wasn’t in the mood for dealing with other people. She was being quite anti-social lately. She sat down on a bench on the Grounds, that note still crumpled in her hands. “Dear Ezzie, you grow more beautiful each and every time I see you. I believe in you, no matter what Sinclair says. Believe it or not, we’ve met before, but I’m nervous about revealing myself to you. Much love, your secret admirer.” Ezzie sighed, placing the letter back into her robe pocket. She still had no idea who it was that had sent it. She looked to her side to find some Ravenclaw two years above her sitting on the far side of the bench. The girl smiled, though she could see her eyes scanning her, placing judgment on her already by what she had previously heard from the media and her fellow students. Ezzie smiled kindly back. “Hey. It’s oddly cold out for this time of year, isn’t it?” Ezzie said, starting some pleasant conversation. When you have nothing else to say, talk about the weather. It kills all awkward silences. Ezzie thought to herself.

[Ruth Hosker-Thornhill]

The fact that it was winter would make it quite cold. That was a given, was it not? Inevitable. You did not expect sunshine and flowers in winter and you would never predict snow for the middle of summer. The temperature would drop, coats would come out, slippers tugged on- yep, and it was safe to say that the weather was cold in the winter. So why on earth would it be odd to have chilly winds around November? It wouldn’t. So when Esmeralda- that was her real name, was it not?- initiated conversation with Ruth by beginning with a question about the weather being cold, Ruth was did not respond immediately, shocked by the quite stupid first sentence. The two were then thrown into silence. A moment of silence that was awkward, stony, and might be incredibly uncomfortable. Not for Ruth; she rarely put herself into situations where she could be made to feel uncomfortable. But the silence was dragged on, drawn out, and stretched taught, until finally Ruth decided to break it. Before she did so she considered the form of Ezzie’s question. It was just that- a question. But why? Cold weather was a fact. It was cold. That was that. You could neither deny it nor argue against it. You could not, essentially, have an opinion on it. So what was Ezzie asking Ruth to say? ‘Yes, I suppose it is.’ Might have been what the average person would respond with. Maybe they would go even further, telling the Gryffindor- ‘Quite odd really. I’m glad I’m wearing a coat… because by mentioning their coat, they would give more ammo for the other person to reply.

That was how a conversation worked after all. You gave a little more information with everything you replied with. Eventually the information would run out, in which case you might want to change the topic of conversation, else the conversation would end. Ruth had known people in the past to take a different route once everything that could be said had been said. They would respond then by answering with something completely irrelevant to the subject and completely random. Perhaps the random thing said would have some relevance that only Ruth could not notice. But still, she hated those random phrases that people would throw out there just to fill the space. She hoped that Ezzie was not one of those people. Ruth was certainly not one of those people. Similarly she was not the type of person to say ‘I’m glad I’m wearing a coat’. Because Ezzie did not need to know that Ruth was glad she had brought a coat. That was a feeling that Ruth did not need to share with a stranger.

So what could she say? The moment in which neither of them spoke was so long because Ruth had to ask herself this question. When, finally, she spoke, it was in a very curious tone. For Ruth had decided to be a little different. She had decided to be like this girl, this strange little starlet. She decided to be nice, friendly and on top of it all quirky. It was a game, you could say. There was no one but Ezzie around and Ruth was bored out of her mind- a feeling she rarely had when studying. After all, how could you get bored filling your brain? There was always something to learn. But she turned until she faced Ezzie. And then her face broke into a welcoming (at least she hoped it was so) smile. To smile so wild almost hurt he jaw and she felt her lips hesitate as they grew used to this expression that they were so unaccustomed to. Another pause as Ruth laughed to herself in her head. Maybe this would be quite fun. “Yes, I suppose it is quite odd!” her voice was bright, young. Oh how strange! She really was enjoying this, which was another strange thing. But she continued. Her voice was so bright it shocked her. But she expelled any further hesitation from her eyes and voice- it would be impossible for Ezzie to detect her true self. Her true hostility and emotions. She would seem, she supposed, like a cute Hufflepuff. How delightful. “Quite odd really. I’m glad I’m wearing a coat…” She said the words which she had been laughing at only moments before. And, as they slipped from her grinning mouth, they were followed by another sound that Ruth hadn’t let out in a very long time. It was a giggle. Oh, lord. A giggle? She only ‘giggled’ when she was with very, very good friends. And even then she would need a firewhisky or some form of alcohol to urge it on.

This was going to be a very enjoyable meeting after all, Ruth decided. “I'm Ruth. You're Ezzie aren't you?" Oh, it was so easy to appear nice. "I hate what that Sinclair girl writes about you..." Yep, that's it. Pretend you know about her life and she'll think you care. " She sounds like she doesn't know what she's talking about." Keep it coming, HT. Keep it coming... "What was that letter you had earlier? Anything interesting?” She continued her fake act. Cute Hufflepuffs were always nosy- she knew that only too well. So this bubbly, welcoming seventh year would be nosy too. It was only fitting. As she spoke she shifted her position so as to make more room on the stone bench, allowing space for the messed up starlet to sit. Ruth was not laughing at Ezzie or imitating her- she was not being offensive to the girl in the slightest. She merely wanted a change, to experience life how ‘cute Hufflepuff’s and giggling Gryffindor’s’ would live it. And Ruth had always been a brilliant actress.