Saving Grace and Sense of Peace ((Bryan))

[Josephine Bowman S7]

The cold chill of morning had yet to lift from the grounds of Hogwarts. The cold reminding the young Slytherin of the winter months that are fast approaching. A soft fog, hardly recognizable settled on the grounds, giving the early dawn hours an eerily appearance as it slipped over the dew covered grass. The fifth year Slytherin was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans and a blue top that matched her color eyes, with a large black jacket keeping the chill from her. Knees were pulled up on the rock, arms crossed over the top of her legs and her chin rested softly on top of them as she stared off into the direction of the sunrise. This was the perfect part of the day…a new day, a day in which she could find a cure for her sister. Another new day in which the whole process started over again. This was her day…today she’d find something…her sister’s saving grace.

A sigh escaped her lips before Josephine Bowman pulled up, her legs slipping back down a little on the rock before her hands slipped to the black bound journal that was stuck unceremoniously in the inside pocket of the jacket. The feathered pen followed after and she quickly pulled the ink jar out dipping the tip of the pen inside her mind working quickly in the morning hours as she knew she had to write…had to get down everything that was going on in her mind and hopefully that would help her…bring her some sense of peace.

15 October 2000

My studies haven’t brought me anywhere as of yet. Every day I find some book to flip through, a need to find the cure to my sister’s cancer, but I’m not getting anywhere. Kailyn thinks I’m obsessed…she doesn’t understand that I have to do this. Brianna is counting on me and I would be lying if I said I couldn’t tell she was losing this battle so quickly. Every day I have to go to her and every day I see the weakness of her body, the dull color of her brown eyes, and her skin is almost an unnatural yellow…she’s dying and I can’t stop it. No matter how hard I try to find something to help her I have to start back at the beginning.

Brianna keeps telling me to be happy…to live my life the way I should and to give up this “hopeless” search…but I can’t. I can’t just leave me sister to die the way our father did. She’s the closest person in my life…even my younger sister has accepted fate, but I won’t. Fate will not claim the life of my sister…I won’t let it. I just need a little more time. If she can just fight for the next year…then everything will be okay and I’ll have found the cure and she’ll be fine. She’ll get married to that prick Manning and she’ll be decently happy…married, happy, maybe she’ll even be pregnant. She’ll get the life she always wanted…the life she deserves.

I just wish…..

The scratching of the pen stopped quickly as Josephine suddenly picked up the sound of footsteps behind her, coming from the castle more than likely. She groaned inwardly, hoping that it wasn’t Kailyn who’d stalked her out here this morning to stop her from dwelling in the self-pity she’d begun to find herself in more regularly. Her journal flipped closed and she stuffed it back in her coat, long black hair flipping across her face as the wind picked up just before she jumped from the rock and turned, coming face to face with someone that was definitely not Kailyn.

[Bryan Sangert H6]

Bryan Sangert had just woken up from a good night of sleep, one of the best he’d had in a while. It was still quite early in the morning, and many of his Hufflepuff dorm mates were still snoring away in the beds beside his. He dressed quickly, picking his favorite pair of dark jeans with a basic polo he had been given by his mom plenty of years ago. He grabbed a jacket and threw it on the bed, finding his boots quietly and tying them before he put on the jacket. Bryan walked noiselessly out into the hallway, and saw a few people were indeed up and about, already getting a head start on the day. He didn’t have his first class for at least another few hours or so, and it was his usual routine to go for a walk around the grounds a few times to clear his mind before he went and suffered through another one of Snape’s lovely Potion lectures. Most days with Snape was lecture and experiments, but lately he had been in a foul mood and just decided to read straight from the book each class, which was quite boring for even Bryan, who enjoyed Potions despite his professor.

He walked out of the main entrance of the castle, and felt the cool air rush over his face. He loved this time of year, because the leaves were littering the ground and he could feel the crunch of them underneath his boots. This time of year also signaled the winter coming, which he loved even more, because of how beautiful things could look with the snow. He knew some of the Slytherins hated this time of year because of the beauty. But he wasn’t like them, not nearly at all. He loved everything about the seasons, and wasn’t about to let anyone destroy that. He left the castle and happened to noticed a girl sitting by herself, writing in a journal. As he got a little closer to her, he realized it was Josephine Bowman, an acquaintance from way back in his first year here at Hogwarts. Bryan had been sitting at the gate, waiting for the Hogwarts train to pull up and whisk him away to his new home for the year, and she had sat down next to him and at such an early age, they had struck up a conversation. It had been a pretty basic and not quite important conversation. The two of them had just talked about what they hoped to learn at Hogwarts and when they had gotten their letters. Then the train had pulled up and they were separated.

Bryan knew Josephine mildly, but not in any way that a friend knows a friend, and particularly not as he had known Finn. Finn was his best friend, and Josephine was more like a stranger than anything. They knew of each other, but not about each other. He decided to see what she was up to, see if they could strike up another decent conversation. As he got closer, he realized she heard him and she smashed her journal closed and shoved it back in her coat, and she whirled around, jumping up to meet him. “Oh, hi,” he said surprisingly. He hadn’t expected her to just jump up and greet him, especially since she was a Slytherin. Houses never really affected him too much, but he knew that some Slytherins could be quite rough with other houses. “How’s it going Josephine? You’re out here pretty early. I was just taking a walk, how have you been?” He left it at that, wondering how she was doing and why she was up and out so early.

[Josephine Bowman S7]

Blue orbs landed roughly and in quite surprise on the tall blonde haired boy she had met years ago. In all honesty she didn’t recognize him…not right away. She had a hard time with names and faces in the first place, so him standing there and already knowing her was something that left that soft pit of horror in her stomach as she searched for a name. His green eyes were vaguely more familiar than they had been seconds ago and after a few moments of standing there she realized that this boy was the kid she had met back in her very first year…before she’d even been placed in a house. He’d been going back as a second year if she recalled it correctly, making him a year older than her.

Another wave of panic swept through her as Josephine searched for a name, the all too familiar alphabet listing coming to mind as she slowly made her way through each letter trying to pull up any familiar name. However it wasn’t working and it was only by her third time through the alphabet that she decided to chuck the whole idea and just pretend. His greeting was far friendlier than she expected it to be considering he wasn’t in Slytherin…she couldn’t remember what house he was in, but she was more than positive it wasn’t Gryffindor…considering she had a lot of classes with them and she didn’t remember seeing his face…not that she would now that she thought about it, but wouldn’t they have said something about him if he was in that house?

The frustration of not remembering his name was beginning to wear on her as she started running through different questions that could be used to figure out his name without him knowing…but at the same time…it was a little obvious. The more she stood there and looked at the guy the more she began to doubt that he was even who she thought he was, his face becoming less and less familiar as she studied it. She shrugged it off mentally as she forced her face to contort into a smile as she nodded. “Oh I’m doing just fine, how about yourself?” she asked in a warm tone as she took a few steps back toward the rock so she could lean against it with ease. “It’s not that early by the way especially now that the sunrise is over and most of the grounds are in the sunlight. I think that qualifies it as being rather late instead.”

[Bryan Sangert H6]

Bryan was surprised that Josephine didn’t remember him. They hadn’t been very good friends at all, but they had at least been acquaintances for the past few years, at least since that one day they had met at the train station. “It’s me, Bryan. We met years ago at the train station? I know we haven’t been real good friends, but we at least know each other. You usually always recognize me. Remember me now?” It was easy to lose track of people in the mess that was Hogwarts, but they had at least known each other enough for them to remember who each other was. It didn’t offend him, especially when Jo seemingly kept to herself for the most part. The typical Slytherin did that, but as he knew Jo at least a little, he knew she was a bit different than the typical Slytherin.

She said she was doing well. “That’s good. Things are going alright for me as well. I woke up not too long ago, and I just decided to take my usual morning walk. I love this weather. How about you? I know most people don’t like the chilly mornings, but I love them.” It was true, he loved walking through the leaves and seeing his breath in front of him as he breathed deeply. She leaned against the nearby rock and he decided to sit down against the tree next to it. “Here, sit down. Maybe we can catch up, since you had such a hard time remembering me.” Bryan smiled at her, hoping she would see his humor in that statement and not take it too seriously. She explained how she thought it was a bit later than usual, and he nodded. “Yeah I guess it is a bit later than I thought it was. I tend to just get up and head out for my walk without checking what time it is, because I usually get up plenty early before my classes start. Are you always out here in the mornings? I haven’t seen you in a few weeks, at least not since this year started.” It had been a pretty busy year already, and he had only in the past week or so gotten used to his routine and schedule. He wondered if it was the same for Jo.

He then remembered that Jo’s sister was dying of cancer. Bryan knew it would be kind of a tough subject to bring up, but he was concerned, as he always was. “How is your sister? I know it’s got to be hard for you. Have you been able to figure out any possibilities for a cure yet? I saw you in the library quite often last year.” He hoped he wouldn’t be pressing any buttons or offending her in any way. After all, he was just making basic conversation. He had never dealt with death much in his family, being that it was just him and his mom. He hadn’t had to deal with any sickness in his family or hardships, except with his dad leaving. That was hard for him to talk about at times, but over the years he had spent at Hogwarts, friends had helped him not focus on the hard things of life as much. He looked in her eyes, waiting to hear her response.

[Josephine Bowman S7]

Jo’s face fell when she realized that the guy hadn’t bought the fact that she remembered him. She felt her cheeks redden quickly as he went on to say whom he was. The familiar pieces falling into place as she nodded her head, finally recognizing whom he was. They’d talked on and off over the last few years, but Jo had to admit that she hadn’t remembered his name since the first time they had met. It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried…she was just horrendous at remembering names and faces. Hopefully he wasn’t too offended…though as she stood there, his name now registering in her mind she remembered that he was a Hufflepuff, which would partly explain the reason as to why she had barely spoken to him over the years. Even though she wasn’t the typical blood hating Slytherin she still had her standards and really a Hufflepuff had yet to make any of them.

She let him talk, not really trying to interrupt or mutter responses as he seemed to find something to talk about without really needing a reply from her. Before long he’d sat down and expected her to sit down. A forced, almost awkward smile stretched across her face lightly at his words about not remembering him. Really it wasn’t her fault. She’d been busy this year…far busier than any of the other years before this with her sister being diagnosed with cancer everything had begun to spin out of control. Her form didn’t shift to sit back down, still leaning against the rock as she looked down at Bryan.

Suddenly the wind was taken out of her sails by Bryan’s question. It was something personal…beyond personal. Kailyn didn’t even ask her straight up like that how everything was going. Yet here this guy was…he was hardly an acquaintance…definitely not someone she trusted and he was asking her something so personal she felt like she needed to sit down so she didn’t hex him. A deep breath slipped past her lips quietly as she tried hard to remember who this was…tried to remember that she wasn’t like Kailyn in the sense that she’d tear every person apart that talked to her. No she’d been raised better than that…but still it was hard enough going things alone like she was without people prying into personal business.

“She’s dying, don’t you remember? So obviously it’s not going so well,” Josephine said…her words quick and sharp as she inwardly groaned at how cruel they had seemed, but she didn’t have the patience for this discussion…in fact she was tired of the rumors…of all the talking that had been going on about Brianna and the fact that she was dying. She just wanted it to all go away so she didn’t have to listen to it anymore. She was focused on one thing and one thing only and that did not involve gossiping to the entire school about how her sister was dying and she couldn’t stop it. “Listen Bryan,” she said softly trying to redeem herself from the moments lack of respect, “let’s not talk about my sister okay…it’s a personal issue and I’d rather not discuss it. So with that being said how are classes going? You’re a 6th year right?”

[Bryan Sangert H6]

Bryan realized as he asked the question about Jo’s sister that it wasn’t that good of a subject to start a conversation on. He had never lost anyone, or had the fear of losing anyone in his family. Bryan knew his mom would pass on eventually, but even he knew it wasn’t something he liked to think or talk about. It was likely the same way for Jo, especially since she had seemingly dedicated her life to finding a cure for her ill sister. How rough that had to be on young Jo, researching day in and day out, looking for some kind of way that her sister could be saved, yet coming up empty nearly every time. He couldn’t imagine what she was going through. He listened as she explained how things were going, albeit in a tone he wasn’t too happy to hear.

Bryan was a bit taken back by Jo’s attitude, as she gave him a bit of a sharp tone, reminding him that her sister was dying. He knew Slytherins could have (and usually did have) a sharp edge to them, and weren’t that friendly around Hufflepuffs in general. Slytherin believed in pure blood and none other, while he especially (being in Hufflepuff) thought of wizarding as free for everyone. He knew they didn’t feel that way, but her attitude was a bit unexpected. Although, it had been a little while since he had conversed with a Slytherin. Jo was one of the only ones he kept at least an acquaintance with, so that may have brought the surprise on him. He felt immediately inclined to apologize. “I’m sorry, I know it’s a personal thing. I’ve never had anyone in my family with that kind of thing. I’m sorry for bringing it up.” He looked down, embarrassed for making her snap at him. “I don’t know what it’s like to go through that.” He decided quickly that he would let the subject go, and see if she would change the subject, which he expected.

She quickly did change the subject, asking him about classes and his year. “Yes, I’m a sixth year. You’re one year behind me, right?” he asked, hoping to steer things to a good conversation. “Classes are classes, I guess. Arthimancy is definitely not my favorite, mainly because I can’t stand numbers or anything to do with them. Do you have that class? It’s just so bloody confusing sometimes, trying to remember all those charts.” He thought for a second, thinking of the other classes he had. “Oh I’ve got Divination, which I can stand to a point. It can get confusing at times, but I think my favorite is DADA, mainly because I get to learn to defend myself in case I ever have to someday. How about you, any classes you love or hate?” Bryan knew this was a loaded question, but he was sure that if Jo didn’t want to talk about her sister, she’d be willing to talk to him about her classes, since she had asked him in the first place about his own.

[Josephine Bowman S7]

Josephine had to remember that Bryan was just trying to be nice as he went on to apologize about the subject matter he had wanted to talk about. She hated apologies. It had nothing to do with her…she wouldn’t let him feel sorry for her. Pity was beyond weakness in her eyes. She hated people feeling sorry for her, wanting to pity her for her sad sob story. She wouldn’t let him do it to. Fist clenched gently in her hand, but not gently enough that it didn’t make the knuckles of her hand turn white. It really wasn’t his fault…he just caught her at a bad time today and then there was that whole thing about not remembering him and everything. It was true she was bad with faces and names, but now that he was here she remembered him from a few other times they’d spoken together. He was a nice guy, definitely very Hufflepuff-like, but a nice guy. Josephine just had a hard time connecting sometimes, but still she wasn’t about to walk away from him right now as he sat there.

The change of topics was nice and he seemed to realize that she wasn’t going to return to any subject that was painful. Instead she had every intention of staying to ‘safe’ subjects…especially ones that didn’t involve that stab of guilt or pain that she felt in the pit of her stomach any time she thought about her sister or the disease that was rampaging through her body. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she listed to him. “Yeah I’m a 5th year now,” she piped up when he asked her hands coming to the front of her, fingers lacing together as she looked down at him, her body turning enough so that she could see him fully. Classes were safe subjects…good subjects. There wasn’t much pain or heartache associated with classes. “I find Arthimancy to be rather delightful myself, but I do understand what you mean about the numbers. Sometimes people just don’t have as great of luck with them as others.” Arthimancy was another class Josephine was taking to try to help her sister out with. There were plenty of readings out there that she could do to find out if her sister’s life numbers would help her in finding a cure.

A smirk fell over her face at Bryan’s continued talk about classes. He was taking classes that she’d never expected, especially in his 6th year when he’d be able to take whatever classes he wanted based on his OWL scores. She was excited for the OWL, unlike most of the 5th years. She had a plan and her career planning was going wonderful. She had her sister’s study habits with 10 times more drive and motivation. Truly an unstoppable force when it came to trying to find a cure. It was actually quite scary if one truly thought about it. “I enjoy Divination. Professor Trelawney especially. I’ve seen a few of her predictions she’s made for me come true. So I’m definitely eager to continue on with it after OWLs, if I score high enough that is, but honestly I’m not worried about that. As for Defence Against the Dark Arts…it’s a decent class. Lots of good spells to learn, but I’m horrific at it. I could care less…there isn’t a Dark Lord anymore, so why should I have to learn how to defend myself against that?” Josephine shrugged her shoulders, completely uninterested in DADA as her motivation and need to find a cure would never lead in that direction. “As aforementioned subject I find my interests dwelling in Herbology, Divination, Potions, and Transfiguration. I absolutely adore Potions the most out of the list and no it’s not just because Professor Snape teaches it.” Her form pulls up from the rock and she finally slips down to the ground in one fluid motion, her hands coming to rest in her lap as she sat cross-legged facing Bryan.

“Do you play quidditch Bryan?” Josephine asked…the quick change of subject almost intentional, but not as she looked him up and down, her teeth biting softly on her bottom lip as she tried to remember. She’d just made the Quidditch team this year and she was rather unsure of the players on the other teams. What with the big match with Gryffindor coming up soon Josephine hadn’t had much time to review who was who on what team. If Bryan was on the quidditch team that gave them a whole new subject to discuss…another safe subject. Well safe enough for Josephine’s liking. “I just made the Slytherin team this year. First time auditioning and I make it. It’s all very exciting,” she said with a true, genuine smile that reached almost from ear to ear on her beautiful face. “I love quidditch, it’s so exhilarating, don’t you think so?”

[Bryan Sangert H6]

Bryan knew how hard some subjects could be, including family situations like Jo’s. That’s why he also knew that this change of subject would likely please Jo, because she would want to talk about nearly anything but the situation at hand. Bryan listened as she explained that she was in her fifth year now. She also seemed to enjoy Arthimancy, to which he winced. “Yes, I’m definitely one of those people that just doesn’t have a bunch of luck with it. Numbers just don’t work too well with me. But I’m taking it now because I’d like to make sure I understand it and can get through it all. I know that sounds somewhat stupid, but I didn’t do quite well in it back before my OWLs and I just wanted to go through it some more.” He was sort of confused as to why he felt he needed to explain himself to Jo, after all, they were just acquaintances. But this is how Bryan always was. He was a friendly person overall, and wanted to give a reasoning for his odd choice of Arthimancy as a subject after his OWLs. Most people wouldn’t understand that concept. “I’m doing better in Arthimancy than I thought I would. Still need some help at times, so if you’re ever up for showing me some tricks, let me know.” He hoped his asking for help wouldn’t make her think he was trying to swoon her, after all he wasn’t trying to do that with Jo.

Bryan listened intently as Jo talked about her love for Divination and Professor Trelawney. He had felt somewhat the same way, as he had seen a prediction or two in class come true. “Yeah, she’s impressed me quite a few times as well. Part of the reason I decided to take her class after my OWLs. She’s a joy to learn from, and the class can get quite interesting sometimes, which always makes for enjoyable stories later on.” Bryan tried to think of a certain story from Divination class but the fact was there had been plenty of times where he and his closer friends like Finn had had fun in that class, and none of the stories seemed particularly appropriate for the time being. He decided against bringing any of the stories up, mainly because Jo continued on about DADA. She said how she was interested, but was horrific at the class. She made a comment about there not being a Dark Lord any longer, so what was the point? “Well there’s always going to be someone who is against what we do here, and wants to put a stop to good things in our world. So I guess I’m taking it to learn to defend against those people, wherever and whoever they are.” He hoped that made sense. Bryan wanted to be ready, in case someone outside the school (or heaven forbid, within the school) decided they didn’t care for Hogwarts and the Ministry any longer. It was just a precaution. He never planned on having to use his defensive spells.

She explained what her favorite classes were and he nodded, agreeing to a good amount of them. She got to Potions and he chuckled as she mentioned that she didn’t like it just because Snape taught it. “Oh I enjoy Potions as well. Professor Snape can get on my nerves from time to time, but usually he gets upset because of the slackers in class. I usually get my work done on time so he never has a chance to be upset with me.” Jo slid down the rock and onto the ground, sitting across from him as they continued talking. She asked him about Quidditch. “I don’t play, but Finn does, so I know pretty much enough about it that I could play. I’ve never found the sport too thrilling, I like it more when I just watch. I’d rather not get into the playing aspect because then it ruins the fun for me. If I have to think while I’m playing, it feels more like a duty or job, rather than just a regular game to play. So I just watch.” He had hear she made the team, so her explaining that part to him he knew. “Yeah I hear, congratulations! That’s really good, getting on the team your first time auditioning. Yeah, it’s quite exhilarating. Finn tells me about his games quite often, so sometimes it feels like I’ve been playing.”

Bryan leaned against the rock, wondering what he could ask next. Immediate he thought of the journal Jo had quickly put away as he had walked over. He wondered if it was appropriate to ask about it. He decided it was worth a shot. “Hey Jo, I saw you had a journal or book or something out before I came over. What was it? Just curious. If it’s something more personal again, feel free to just ignore the question. I’m sure we could come up with something more to talk about than those personal things.” He didn’t want to push buttons or pry into her life, but there wasn’t much more to talk about in the way of good subjects. They had discussed classes already, and she didn’t want to talk about her sister, which he had respected. What more was there to discuss? “Oh I forgot to ask,” he said quickly, remembering his own question. “What position do you play in Quidditch? Finn tells me so much about all the different positions, sometimes I forget which one he is!” He chuckled because of how true that statement was, and looked at Jo as he waited for her reply.