Post by Aurora Chan on Jun 4, 2008 11:26:22 GMT
Boys. Boys were, basically, a load of trouble. “Maybe I should become a lesbian.” Aurora thought wryly. “I’m sure all relationships have their problems, whatever gender the couple is, but women are so much easier to understand than men. And men just don’t get me at all.” Sighing to herself a little desolately, Aurora flipped through the last few entries of her diary. She hadn’t written in it since about a month after Daniel, and a lot had happened since then. Ian. AJ. Jez. Three very different boys who had entered her life and changed it in some way, whether for good or for worse. Ian had obviously felt too rejected after his confession to approach Aurora as a friend again, which caused some regret for her, because she genuinely liked Ian; she just didn’t like him in that kind of way. She had had more chemistry with AJ, but they were such different people. AJ was perhaps the most different from her out of all the boys she had ever come into contact with. He was too rash, too rebellious. She was too obedient, too straight-laced. And Aurora wasn’t looking to change herself, because as a person, she was happy with who she was. Then there was Jez. Of the three guys, he was the only one still lingering around. Jez was very good at leaving his mark on other people; he had certainly left his mark on Ariane. Aurora sighed again as she thumbed the blank pages of her diary subconsciously. When would Ari tell her what was wrong? She was worried about her cousin and best friend, but she knew she couldn’t push her for information. Ari didn’t work that way; it would only her resent the person who pushed her too much.
Aurora didn’t really know how she felt about Jez. He was like AJ – rash and rebellious. Less so, but more mischievous, playful, and downright childish. Yet, there was something quite likeable about the guy. He seemed genuine underneath. Aurora was sure, like AJ, Jez had more beneath the surface of his face that he let on. She was certain Jez Cuthbert could be kind and loving like the rest of mankind. Though, Aurora was sure Ari didn’t feel the same way. Ari avoided Jez like the plague, and had recently even spent less time with Aurora. It made Aurora wonder if someone else had replaced her affections, but that was so… un-Ari-like. Ari was so loyal and dedicated, and so hard to penetrate. Aurora couldn’t imagine what the truth was. And somehow… she detected she wasn’t going to find out for a long time, and when she did, she was going to be very shocked indeed. That was mainly why Aurora had been seeing so much of Jez recently. She didn’t think it develop into anything romantic… he wasn’t what Aurora was looking for. But then again, what was Aurora looking for? She could define a perfect guy, yet she knew those didn’t exist. Daniel had been far from perfect. Frowning, Aurora’s finger tapped her first love’s name in one of the earliest entries of the year’s diary. Things changed. Feelings changed. Daniel was lost forever in terms of a love relationship. That probably meant Domino would be dispersing soon. Aurora and Daniel had managed to make it this far, after so many years. She didn’t think she could continue seeing him on a regular basis if she wanted to move in life.
Aurora would be sad when Domino dispersed. After all, they were a pretty successful band. Leo was learning the trade of the guitar well, and they would have rocked the house even more. And Aurora loved singing, she truly did. It was her passion in life. Music and all that, she lived for it. But, above that, Aurora needed someone to love, and someone to love her back. She knew she was foolish for hoping that a long-term relationship would succeed at this age. Not because she couldn’t commit, but because guys her age were simply not ready. No, boys nowadays just wanted a simple fling for a year, tops. Nothing more than that, just a trophy girlfriend to flaunt, to woo for some months before casting her aside like some sort of object. It made Aurora sick to think of. It made her wonder if she’d ever find someone. She was sure she’d fall in love… but she wasn’t sure she’d ever marry anymore. Nor that she would have children at this rate. She chuckled to herself in the eerie, empty silence of the Student Lounge. She might just be alone for the rest of her life. She wanted to do those ridiculous romantic things – marry, have kids, lead a happy, fulfilling life. But they were ideals that were likely never to come true. “Why am I even thinking about this kind of stuff?” Aurora voiced aloud with a groan, closing her eyes against the bright firelight of the hearth. “I’m way too young to be bogged down with this kind of pointless worrying. I have to live. Live. Live.”
Curling her toes into the comfortable sofa, Aurora savoured the feel of the fire’s warmth spread across her body. She had a warm cloak thrown over her shoulders to protect her from the chill. It was nearing the end of spring, but that didn’t mean England wasn’t affected by the cold of the night. Indeed, it was nearing curfew time now, but since she was in sixth year, Aurora had some time left before she was shooed away by some good prefect. Aurora was glad she wasn’t in first year anymore, but she missed that naivety, the lack of worry that life held when you were young and idealistic, with dreams to see the stars and change the world. Sighing again, Aurora lay her head against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. The world outside was dark, and here she sat, alone and silent, with nothing better to do. She had important exams coming up soon. She had to revise. But she couldn’t find it in herself to do anything about it. Truly, Aurora had lost her motivation for life, and she hated to think it had anything to do about feeling loved and alone.
Aurora didn’t really know how she felt about Jez. He was like AJ – rash and rebellious. Less so, but more mischievous, playful, and downright childish. Yet, there was something quite likeable about the guy. He seemed genuine underneath. Aurora was sure, like AJ, Jez had more beneath the surface of his face that he let on. She was certain Jez Cuthbert could be kind and loving like the rest of mankind. Though, Aurora was sure Ari didn’t feel the same way. Ari avoided Jez like the plague, and had recently even spent less time with Aurora. It made Aurora wonder if someone else had replaced her affections, but that was so… un-Ari-like. Ari was so loyal and dedicated, and so hard to penetrate. Aurora couldn’t imagine what the truth was. And somehow… she detected she wasn’t going to find out for a long time, and when she did, she was going to be very shocked indeed. That was mainly why Aurora had been seeing so much of Jez recently. She didn’t think it develop into anything romantic… he wasn’t what Aurora was looking for. But then again, what was Aurora looking for? She could define a perfect guy, yet she knew those didn’t exist. Daniel had been far from perfect. Frowning, Aurora’s finger tapped her first love’s name in one of the earliest entries of the year’s diary. Things changed. Feelings changed. Daniel was lost forever in terms of a love relationship. That probably meant Domino would be dispersing soon. Aurora and Daniel had managed to make it this far, after so many years. She didn’t think she could continue seeing him on a regular basis if she wanted to move in life.
Aurora would be sad when Domino dispersed. After all, they were a pretty successful band. Leo was learning the trade of the guitar well, and they would have rocked the house even more. And Aurora loved singing, she truly did. It was her passion in life. Music and all that, she lived for it. But, above that, Aurora needed someone to love, and someone to love her back. She knew she was foolish for hoping that a long-term relationship would succeed at this age. Not because she couldn’t commit, but because guys her age were simply not ready. No, boys nowadays just wanted a simple fling for a year, tops. Nothing more than that, just a trophy girlfriend to flaunt, to woo for some months before casting her aside like some sort of object. It made Aurora sick to think of. It made her wonder if she’d ever find someone. She was sure she’d fall in love… but she wasn’t sure she’d ever marry anymore. Nor that she would have children at this rate. She chuckled to herself in the eerie, empty silence of the Student Lounge. She might just be alone for the rest of her life. She wanted to do those ridiculous romantic things – marry, have kids, lead a happy, fulfilling life. But they were ideals that were likely never to come true. “Why am I even thinking about this kind of stuff?” Aurora voiced aloud with a groan, closing her eyes against the bright firelight of the hearth. “I’m way too young to be bogged down with this kind of pointless worrying. I have to live. Live. Live.”
Curling her toes into the comfortable sofa, Aurora savoured the feel of the fire’s warmth spread across her body. She had a warm cloak thrown over her shoulders to protect her from the chill. It was nearing the end of spring, but that didn’t mean England wasn’t affected by the cold of the night. Indeed, it was nearing curfew time now, but since she was in sixth year, Aurora had some time left before she was shooed away by some good prefect. Aurora was glad she wasn’t in first year anymore, but she missed that naivety, the lack of worry that life held when you were young and idealistic, with dreams to see the stars and change the world. Sighing again, Aurora lay her head against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. The world outside was dark, and here she sat, alone and silent, with nothing better to do. She had important exams coming up soon. She had to revise. But she couldn’t find it in herself to do anything about it. Truly, Aurora had lost her motivation for life, and she hated to think it had anything to do about feeling loved and alone.
