Every Thought Is Blue ((Self))

[Dylan Caoimhe]

Dylan layed in his four poster with his hands clasped behind his head, and his eyes closed, but he was not sleep. He was to unsettled to sleep. He had too much on his mind. Well, one thing on his mind, but that one thing felt like it held so much to it. One thing, that his mind relentlessly made him go back to, so that it felt like every waking moment since break started, he felt like that was all he thought about. Those eyes. Those bright, blue, startling eyes that came back to him out of nowhere. At first, Dylan was scared to death, thoroughly terrified. But as break went on and he had time to calm down and think, he settled, and was actually a little pleased. As scary as it was, to see something, anything that brought him back to her, was definantly welcomed. Dylan smiled.

He began to shake his legs. He was so restless. He sat up and opened his four poster, and was definantly relieved it was Winter Break. No one was here but him, just like every year. Eyes settling on Wynd's bed, he chuckled. What would he do if he were here and saw Dylan getting ready to leave after hours again. Dylan slid on his boots, his jacket, his scarf, gloves, and hat, and grabbed his wand and pocketed it, then proceeded to exit the boys dormitory. When he got into the Common Room the fire was still lit, and it looked almost irresistibly inviting. To just sit there in the arm chair and stare into the flames, feeling the warmth, closing your eyes, allowing your mind to wander. But Dylan had to walk. He had to go somewhere.

He reached the Main Floor where the Great Hall was, and proceed to the big oak doors. They were opened. Thank you, he sighed allowed. Closing the door behind him, he turned around and looking up at the sky, he smiled again, but this time it was very faint. The sky itself was the exact same shade of blue as that boy's eyes. Her eyes. He felt a new surge of longing in his body to be up there. Closer to it. Walking fast, he proceed towards the Quidditch Pitch.

It must've been at least six in the morning, and Dylan hadn't slept. Well, he hadn't slept much since break, but he didn't feel tired at all. It was almost as if he were waiting. Waiting for break to end so he could somehow see that guy he ran into in the corridor again. Just to see those eyes. Reaching the middle of the Quidditch Pitch, he took out his wand and pointed it straight up at the sky. "Accio Nimbus Two Thousand." Three minutes later, his broom stick was right in front of him, waiting patiently for him to mount. He pocketed his wand again, and proceeded to mount his broom. He kicked off hard from the ground. It was thoroughly cold this morning, but Dylan didn't care. He just rose, higher and higher. When he elevated to his liking, he proceeded to circle the pitch at a even pace, not too fast, not too slow, eyes fixed on the great mass that was the sky.

It felt good. It felt great, actually. He felt like his inner feelings translated themselves into the physical. He felt like he was floating on air. Well, he was flying, but close enough. For one of the few times in his life, Dylan felt free. Like he had nothing to worry about, and everything was going to work out and be okay, which felt amazing. He felt he didn't have a care in the world. For the first time since Alanah died, he felt at peace, with the whole situation. Like he'd get through alright. Time passed, and the sun began to rise. As it did, so did his mood. What he would give to just stay up here, and never have to come down. Stay up here and, just, fly.

[Dylan Caoimhe]

"Christmas Eve," Dylan sighed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He yawned, then sat up in his bed, resting on his elbows. He was still in a thoroughly good mood. It wasn't as strong as it was a few days ago, but it was still there. He could feel it. He ran his hand busily through his hair, and focused his eyes. Once again, he looked around the empty dormitory at all the empty beds. Why couldn't he just have his own room here? It would've made Hogwarts that much more enjoyable all these years. He didn't even bother to close his four poster at night anymore. Moving his elbows, he layed back down and closed his eyes. This was nice. Being alone. Left to his thoughts. He felt centered, peaceful. He even perfected his spell that he had been working on for three weeks now last night. Maybe because he didn't have so much distracting him.

He ran his hand through his hair again, then brought the other up and wiped his face with both. Dylan didn't have any clue as to what he wanted to do today. Well, it was Christmas Eve. But, Dylan didn't do anything around holiday's. He didn't have any traditions. The only thing he would look forward to was a visit from Alanah. Of course, that wasn't going to happen. Then Dylan had a thought, and was surprised he wasn't absolutely disgusted by it. What if he went to Hogsmeade to buy gifts for people at the orphanage? Okay, maybe not everyone, he thought. Just Hannah. But wouldn't that be giving her the wrong message?

Ever since Alanah died, Hannah, her older sister, had been trying to take the place that she held with Dylan, but, he didn't let her. He couldn't, and wouldn't. That position was permanently terminated, never to be occupied again. But, he still had some sense of appreciation for her. After all, she did give him Alanah's old office to use for his bedroom. His very own bed room, when she could have easily took it, and kept it for herself. So that's that, he thought. A gift for Hannah. Right.

After eating breakfast, Dylan tightened his scarf around his neck, put on his jacket, hat, and gloves, and proceeded out of the Great Hall, and out of the castle. He half smiled. Everyday, whenever he was walking, he half wished he'd run into that guy again. He dismissed the thought, and focused on where he was going. Just two days ago, he was so lost in thought, he almost walked right into the Black Lake.

When he reached Hogsmeade, he walked to the middle of the street, and looked around. What on earth was he going to buy her? What did she like? He didn't even know the woman. But, her and Alanah always liked the same things, so why not go that route. Think about what Alanah would like, and go for it. So, he decided to go to Honeydukes first. He bought a pound of chocolate, a few licorice wands, some sugar quills, and a huge red sucker. Next, he decided to try Zonko's Joke Shop. Of course she probably wouldn't like something from here. But, Alanah had a sense of humor. Maybe she did too.

Leaving Zonko's with a bag full of objects that would definantly give Hannah an interesting Christmas morning, he decided to head back to Hogwarts. Reaching the Student Lounge, he put down his bags on a table in the corner by the window, and found himself smiling once again. This was the same table that he and Theo had had their very, interesting conversation, to say the least. He took his hat off and shoved it in his pocket, and loosened his scarf. An hour passed, and he had successfully put all that he had bought neatly into a basket, and put it in a white card board box, and due to lack of gift wrapper, he wrapped it in layers of parchment. Using his wand, pointing it at the box, he muttered, "Drocer," and Hannah's name and the address to the orphanage appeared neatly written in his hand writing on the side of the fairly sized parcel.

"There," he said out loud. "Done." He pulled his hat back out from his pocket and returned it to his head. When he got to the Owlery he was relieved to see Tynan had returned. He called the great Black Owl down, and it rested on his shoulder, gently nipping at his ear. This was a clear apology for what happened a few weeks ago with that Ravenclaw first year boy, but Dylan wasn't mad. He was over it weeks ago. "This is for Hannah," he said surveying the Owlery. He didn't see any other bird that he wanted to fly with Tynan. None were quite his size. Deciding on a brown Barn Owl, he attached the parcel to both birds, and watched them fly off. He hoped Tynan would heed his warning, and that the Barn Owl would return unharmed. Well, if the owl just returned, that would be something.

Walking back towards the Student Lounge, Dylan smiled once again. "Give me a break," he whispered to himself. Once again he thought about running into that Ravenclaw guy. Break was almost over. All those annoying little gits and prats would be back soon enough. But there was only one person Dylan longed to see.

[Dylan Caoimhe]

Dylan groggily opened his eyes. It was still slightly dark outside, so he knew it must've been early. Looking at his clock he saw it was five thirty in the morning. He turned over to find a more comfortable position when he felt something slide off of him, and fall into the floor. He turned to look over, but could barely see. He yawned, then grabbed his wand off of his stand. "Lumos," he said wiping his eyes with his free hand. It was an envelope. A letter. He picked it up and turned it over to see it was addressed top him, in handwriting he recognized immediately. It was Hannah's. "Oh joy," he said faintly, pulling himself up and resting against his head board. He sat his lit wand on his bed and tore open the envelope. He then held his wand close to the parchment to get a better view of the letter.

Dear Dylan,

I sent this letter this morning and had one of the House Elves deliver it to you personally. Naturally, it's three o'clock in the morning and the kids are all up ripping open presents and making as much noise as possible, as you can probably imagine. I received your parcel just now, and I must say, I couldn't believe it. I stopped breathing, for how long, I don't know. Thank you for the candy, and nice try. Did you have fun going to Zonko's, picking out things that must've seemed hilarious to prank me with? Well, to be honest, I did fall for the flowers. But, don't worry about the mess. A simple Cleaning Charm cleared it right up. Yes, I am a witch. I went to Hogwarts, a year after Alanah. Of course I'm not as gifted as she was, but I managed.

I suppose I should thank you for those. Now I have a way of getting back at the children when they are particularly cheeky. Anyway, this year, I wanted to do something very special for you. Very special indeed. In light of everything that has happened this summer, I thought, you, if anyone could use a bit of good fortune, so the staff here and myself all got together, and bought you something that we think you will find extremely enjoyable.

I shall bother you no longer. I know you don't like long letters. Well, from me, anyway. I have a very busy day ahead of me, so here is where I shall say good day. Happy Christmas, and I hope you have a wonderful term.

Love,

Hannah

P.S. Congratulations on making the Quidditch Team. I talk to Dumbledore, as well as other staff members at Hogwarts. I get reports.

Dylan tossed the envelope and letter onto his stand. She was contacting the school and getting reports? If she thought that letting him know that little piece of news would go overlooked by him, she was wrong. Keeping his wand lit, he pulled his warm comforter from over his legs and got out of bed. "What did the old git get me this year," he said annoyed. But his eyes found a rather long package at the foot of his bed on the floor. Just based off of the shape, he knew what it was, but didn't dare open it. Dylan heavily sighed, and picked the parcel up by the handle and threw it a little roughly onto his bed.

This was unbelievable. They went and got him a broom. He already had a Nimbus Two Thousand, and here they went and got him some rinky dink racing broom. "Oh well," he said tearing the paper off. "I'll just donate it to the schoo-- THE HELL I WILL!" Dylan stared at it completely transfixed. It couldn't be. Using is his lit wand, he scanned the walls for a torch. He settled on the one to his right, which was closest, and lit it with his wand. "Nox," he said breathlessly. It was. It really was. A Firebolt. Dylan picked it up and examined it. "How the bloody hell did they manage to get this?" But, Dylan soon found he didn't care.

Within twenty minutes he was already out of the castle, bundled up tightly against the bitter, crisp, cold of the morning, and at the Quidditch Pitch. He stared at his broom again. The happiness he had at the beginning of break returned. He mounted his broom, and hesitated, only for a second before kicking off from the ground, and zooming through the air at a speed he had never flown before. What was exposed of his face was instantly cold and numb and he could barely see, but he didn't care.

This was awesome. It was more than awesome. It was remarkable, spectacular. This was the best he ever felt, besides the pain in his face the cold was giving him. After who knows how long, Dylan landed, and quickly made his way back up to the castle. He couldn't stand the cold any longer. He returned his broom to his dormitory and slid it under his four poster before going back up to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was empty as he had seen it all break. The kids who were here were to preoccupied with their presents no doubt. Since no one was really here, no need to get up early and show off what you got. Dylan got himself a bowl of cereal, and proceeded to eat happily.

He was smiling brightly, and freely. This was the best Winter Holiday he had ever had. To top it off, next week, everyone would be back, meaning maybe he might be able to catch blue eyes again. Catch him in the corridors. He noticed he was staring off into space, lost in thought, and then returned to his breakfast. Just then he remembered another part of Hannah's letter, and his smile faded a bit. She was a witch.

Well, it really wasn't that big of a deal was it? Well, he did think she was a squib all this time, but it wasn't that serious. No need to dwell on it. Thats probably what she wanted, he thought. Another desperate attempt to form some sort of bond. But why not? He stopped chewing for a second before continuing. What was the harm? But Dylan excused the thought. He wasn't ready. Not for that.

[Dylan Caoimhe]

Dylan stared out up at the star strewn sky. He longed to be on his Firebolt again, but it was too dark and entirely too cold. He supposed excitement is what gave him the nerve to fly it the first time. Sense kicked in and told him if he wanted to go to the Hospital Wing and be made to drink another goblet of Pepperup Potion by Madame Pomfrey, than he'd better give it a rest, for now anyway. He tightened his arms around his abdomen as he was bitterly chilled by a mercilessly cold breeze, but that wasn't even enough to sour his mood. He was happy. Tomorrow, everyone was coming back, and he'd be able to see everyone who he was surprised he missed. Theo, Mary, Williard, that little git. He even missed Secret Agent, super Prefect Wynd, with his oh so important position, especially since he was on the top of the Astronomy Tower once again. He chuckled and smiled. Wynd wasn't that bad. In fact he was alright, he guessed.

Dylan wasn't sure who he was turning into, but he liked it. Of course he knew things would probably change tomorrow when everyone got back. He supposed that was why he hadn't gone to bed yet. Just to savor how happy he felt. To hold on to these feelings for as long as he could before everyone came back and ruined it. He was freezing his butt off, but to him, it was worth it. He reached in his jean pocket, which was kind of hard seeing as he had on his Dragon Skin gloves, and pulled out a licorice wand. after tediously opening it, he took a huge bite and leaned up against the wall. It was odd. He could taste the candy, but he couldn't feel his mouth, or his face for that matter because he was completely numb.

He closed his eyes, and all he could see once again, was him. The guy without a name. The guy without a face. But, the guy with those eyes, that he treasured so much. He wouldn't be surprised if he stood at the entrance to the castle when everyone came back, just to see if he could spot him, but Dylan knew that was just a thought. He had definantly calmed down, and wasn't to excited anymore, but he still wanted to see him. Well, he thought, if you see him again, you see him again. Don't go looking for him, just let him find you. That's it. Just let him find you.