A Futile Effort ((Jack))

[August Reid R7]

August finished his plum pudding in silence. The Great Hall had thinned out as dinner had almost ended. August was staring intently at his pudding as it slowly disappeared. He hadn't talked to anyone at dinner. Or rather, no one had talked to him. Either way he wasn't talking to anyone. Several Ravenclaws were sitting around him but he was barely listening to their conversations. Nothing seemed to interest him nowadays. He probably would have enjoyed talking to some of his fellow Ravenclaws if he made the effort, but he didn't want to. Conversations were a two way thing. If they really wanted to talk with him they could start. Why was it always him that had to initiate everything? Besides, August had to go to the library after dinner. He had been neglecting a History of Magic essay and it could be ignored no longer.

August collected his things and slowly made his way out of the Great Hall. He didn't look around or else he might have seen that several Ravenclaws waved to him and even tried to say "Hello." He was too focused on his own life and getting to the library. There was another reason that he wanted to go to there. He had asked his elder brother to meet him there. He really did not see that much of Jack since they were in different years and different houses. He was in the same house as Bronsen. But there was only so many times that you could see his wand collection before you wanted to strangle him. August would never really strangle Bronsen. Bronsen was his little brother and August truly loved him. Just a he loved Jack. It was getting Bronsen and Jack to love each other that was the problem. They were about five years apart and trying to make them see eye to eye was rather difficult. Yet everyday, August tried to get them to be nice to each other. That was his role in the family. Peace maker.

Entering the library, August did not see Jack anywhere. He wasn't sure if Jack would show up or not. August never got a reply. That's why he brought his essay with him. If Jack chose not to show up then at least August would get some work done. He waited by the entrance for a few moments pretending to be fascinated by a bulletin. Realising that Jack wasn't coming just yet, August could no longer pretend to read the old Bonfire Night poster. He walked towards the book shelves looking for the book that he needed. Professor Binns was hands down the most boring teacher they had but at least he was not mean like Professor Snape or exposed them to dangerous material like Professor Hagrid. Therefore History of Magic was not a well liked subject by many students. But August found if he paid attention then he really enjoyed learning about the creation of the wizarding world. But that was part of the problem: paying attention.

What exactly was that book that the professor said we should look at.... August wondered to himself. His hand followed along as he read the titles of each book. Some looked ancient and others looked so thick that it would take a lifetime to read through them. Finally finding what he needed he grabbed it off the shelve. The thing was so heavy though he could not support it with one hand and it dropped to the floor with a noisy thunk. Praying that the librarian would ignore the noise, August quickly bent over to pick up the enormous book. Grabbing it this time with both hands he picked it up and searched for an empty or semi-empty table where he could sit and read. Finding an empty one he set the book down and sat down facing it. Knowing that he would never read the entire thing, he prodded his finger to a random page and turned the book to it. He then began to read.

[Jack Reid]

Jack paced in the back of the library, frustrated that his brother hadn’t showed up yet. What was he thinking, being late for an appointment that August himself had arranged, and here he was, waiting on his own brother, the planner of the family. August had always seemed to be the one who took care of things; the one who planned everything; the one who separated the boy from the man, i.e., Bronsen and Jack. Jack nearly despised his youngest brother Bronsen, simply because he was so young and barely understood anything of what had happened to their peaceful and loving family, to turn it into a hell hole of abandonment and downright disregard for care. Even though he was so young, how could he understand anything he or anyone else in the dysfunctional family was going through? He was still a child.

As Jack was thinking about his brothers and the other things he had to get done as well, he thought he heard a loud thunk from somewhere to his left, a bit far from him though. His head jerked, and he got walked over to the stacks he was near, peering through the large number of stacks of old books. It had sounded like a boy falling, much more than a simple book falling off the shelf. He kept looking, and saw a figure over towards the much older books, and immediately recognized the head of his brother August. Had he just gotten there? Or had he been there for a while and just decided to not look for him? It was likely the second. But his brother was quite punctual, so he walked around the stacks he was in, making his way over to where August was looking through the old book he had likely dropped.

Jack walked up behind his brother and clamped his hand down on August’s shoulder. “Decided to come late? Or were you not expecting me to show up?” he said with a judgmental tone. Jack looked at the essay in his brother’s hand, and then glanced at the book, and knowingly slammed the book closed on him. “Looks like it was the latter. Well I’m here. What did you want?” He sneered at August, waiting for him to give some lame excuse for showing up with his work instead of showing up to talk. “Well, spit it out, brother. It’s not like I have all day.”

[August Reid R7]

"Arrius was a great and powerful wizard. He was greatly feared by most. It was predicted that if had lived he would have enslaved the entire world. But fortunately, he had one weakness: Cordelia. She was..." But August would never find out what she was. For just as he read that sentence a hand clamped down on his shoulder. Not suspecting a hand to suddenly touch his shoulder, August gave a little jump. It was not everyday that somebody came up behind him while he was reading. August twisted his head round and saw that it was his brother Jack. Jack asked August a question but before August could respond Jack had already come to a decision and forcefully closed the book that August had just been reading. August let out a little sigh at this. Given the volume of the book he was very unlikely to find that page that he was reading and so he would never learn what Cordelia was.

"Hey Jack," August stammered. His brother always seemed to make his thoughts go straight out of his head. "I... I... I brought my homework because I need to finish a History of Magic essay but the main reason I came here was to see you." August regained his composure. He was always taken aback by Jack's impatience. Like seeing his younger brother was such a hassle. August just wanted to spend time with his elder brother. When Jack came back from his first year at Hogwarts he had informed the family that he was sorted into Slytherin. August wanted so much to be sorted into Slytherin along with his brother. But the more he learned about Slytherin the more he feared that house. He was glad when the Sorting Hat had put him into Ravenclaw. He never asked Jack how he felt about the decision but August could only assume that it was not a good reaction.

"Have a seat," August said to his brother indicating the chair opposite him. "You might think it foolish or a waste of your time, but I really just wanted to talk. We really don't get to see a lot of each other, you know, with the houses and all. I get to see Bronsen all the time, and let me tell you, I sorta wish he was in another house. Speaking of Bronsen, have you talked to him lately?" August asked his brother already knowing the answer. Bronsen and Jack never spoke. Maybe they did and August didn't know about it. But he doubted that. If only they could sit down and have a decent conversation. "I know that you two don't always see eye to eye, but I think he really looks up to you. This is his first year and I know it would mean a lot if you just gave him some words of encouragement. This is the first time in five years that he gets to spend a school year with you. He was so young when you left for school. And then last year he had to spend all that time with Mum." August had to swallow before getting that last sentence out. Their mother had recently gone insane. Well, maybe not recently. It was almost a year now. August painfully remembered that night. "That reminds me, have you talked to either Dad or Mum?"

[Jack Reid]

As Jack listened to his younger brother make excuses, he had to roll his eyes. August always got like this, seemingly intimidated by him all the time. He never tried to do it, at least not purposely. Or did he? Did he hate his family so much that he would purposely create intimidation between family members? He couldn’t be sure. He still loved his brothers. It was his parents he couldn’t stand. Jack decided to calm him a bit. “August. Just settle down. I’m not here to destroy you or tell you all the bad things you’ve done. Let’s just talk and get it over with.” Jack wanted to just move on from this, he didn’t feel like talking but he knew he needed to. He knew that originally, August wanted to be sorted into Slytherin with him, and instead he had been put into Ravenclaw, and it seemed to fit him. Slytherin was a house that you had to earn your keep with, basically. Jack had certainly done that.

As August motioned to the chair next to him, Jack shook his head. “No, I’ll stand, thanks. This won’t take that long, will it now?” he questioned, accusingly. His nosey brother asked him about their younger sibling, Bronsen. “No,” he said, “I haven’t seen him much at all. He’s usually with you, isn’t he? I don’t see you that much either, and I’ve been fine without you guys. I’m still alive, aren’t I?” August began going on some tangent about his youngest brother looking up to him, and he just didn’t want to hear it. The boy had no business looking up to Jack, much less anyone else in their family, except for maybe August, and he definitely wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility. “August, you know how Bronsen and I are. We don’t look at things the same way, and likely never will, no matter how much time we try to spend together. The kid acts like he knows as much as I do about this place and about stuff with Mum and Dad. The man cheated on his wife for years, for crying out loud! How could such a young child understand that kind of disrespect and betrayal?” He was getting frustrated just beginning to think about it.

He hated his father for that act of infidelity he had kept from his wife for so many years. How did he think the family would take it? He and August had figured things out beforehand, but the fact that he had kept it secret for so many frustrated him so much that he didn’t care anymore of what happened to his family. He would fend for himself until he had to bury his father and mother, and then of course it would be up to him to provide and take care of his brothers. August then had the nerve to bring up Mum and Dad, and he nearly lost it. “No, brother, I haven’t talked to Mum or Dad. Why would I? Mom’s crazy and nearly gone, and Dad’s still probably cheating on her with loads of girls left and right. You know how I feel about the situation. I still care about you guys, but I can’t deal with Mum and Dad much anymore. Why are you bringing all this up? I really don’t have time for this.” Jack wanted to just leave the library, get out of there and leave his brother to his studies. But he knew that he needed to stay. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t fight it with all his might.

[August Reid R7]

August listened to Jack talk about Bronsen. He could hear the frustration in Jack's voice. August sighed silently to himself. He knew that this was the answer that he was going to get. August didn't know why he always asked. He was a sucker for punishment. August knew or at least hoped that Jack was not mad at him but when he got frustrated like this it felt as though the anger was directed at him. August had known for a while now that Jack had unresolved anger toward their parents. August was never really sure why. Jackson their father and Amelia their mother were always very attentive and loving to their children. August supposed that Jack felt as if he didn't get as much attention as either August or Bronsen. But that was nonsense. They had three children! None of the Reid children were ever favored over the others.

August was afraid that Jack would strike him when August brought up their parents. August flinched at the anger in Jack's voice. He was yelling at August in the middle of the library. August feared that Madame Pince would come over and kick them out. Some other people were starting to look at the new noise with curiosity. Jack either didn't notice or didn't care for he didn't change the volume of his voice. August swallowed. He knew this anger was not directed at him per se but it still was not nice to be yelled at but your older brother. Jack finally stopped talking and August let the silence fill the void.

He stood up to face Jack even though he was still shorter. "How dare you say that Dad is still cheating! You didn't even care!" his voice was rising now. The anger matching Jack's. "I told you! I confided in you that he was cheating years ago! And what did you do! Nothing! You just sat on your bloody arse and let it continue! So don't try to tell me that you care about his betrayal all of a sudden. I just wanted to have a friendly chat brother to brother!" He paused then very quietly, August spoke: "I know how you feel about the situation. But it still saddens me to hear it. I wish that you could see that Dad treats us no differently than he treats you. And then there's..." August struggled. "Mum. I know that she is not feeling well now but I really believe that she understands you when you talk to her. She might say utter nonsense in response but she knows!"

[Jack Reid]

Jack could tell that August was getting frustrated with him as he spoke and argued with his brother. This would turn into a yelling match soon, and he could care less. Even though he did still care about his brothers, he couldn't very well stand Bronsen sometimes, and August just didn't see what he had gone through with their parents. It had been a struggle for him all this time, to cope with the fact of his parents seemingly paying more attention to his siblings than to him. Why couldn't he have just been an only child? Then he would have had everything he needed; the attention, the love, the care, and especially, the glory. The glory of being an only child was amazing, especially coming from the friends he had. It was one way you could be sure your life had complete meaning. Your parents had been satisfied with one child, that's what it showed. By his parents having three children, it nearly brought him to a thought that they had messed things up with him and August, and Bronsen was the perfect one. Maybe that was why he couldn't stand the boy.

As Jack's voice grew louder, he saw his brother cower in fear, seemingly scared that he would hit him. He laughed. "August, do you seriously think I would strike you? I'd get expelled, likely, and what would Mum and Dad do? Well, Mum not much, she's gargle something incoherent, but Dad would beat me harder than I could ever hit you. Contrary to how things might be, I would never strike you." Jack found it so odd that August even dared to think that he would hit him. He knew that he was getting very loud, especially for the library. He secretly hoped Madame Pince wouldn't show up and scold them for being so loud. Jack didn't want this to happen, so he was glad he was done with his rant. He forced himself to stop, and let the silence creep in. Jack looked at his brother, and suddenly August came alive once again.

Jack became even more furious with August, as his brother got in his face about all that he had ranted about. August made the bizarre statement that he believed Dad wasn't cheating anymore. How could he think something so noble of their father? Jack always believe that if someone was a cheater in the past, they'd never live it down. That was part of the reason he hadn't cared when August had told him about his father. "How dare you---", he began, but August cut him off, as the boy continued on about their father's past. He claimed to have only wanted a simple talk with Jack, yet he could tell there had to be more to him than that. August then also put up a fight about Mum and Dad still caring about him just as much as the other two, but he knew better. Jack lowered his voice, as he answered his brother. "August. You must see how I'm treated differently than you and Bronsen. Bronsen, of course, is Mum's favorite, and you're likely Dad's favorite. Had I been an only child, I wouldn't have had to deal with any of the bloody trash. And Mum. Mum can't hear anything, all she hears and speaks is nonsense. She blabbers about nothing all the time," he said simply. "Bronsen had time with her; time that neither of us got. Maybe if it had been me or you," he paused. "She....might not be like this."

[August Reid R7]

As August listened to his brother continue in a quieter voice he was ashamed that he had lost his temper. He tried to contain his anger at all costs. As a child, August had terrible anger issues often getting angry about the smallest things but being upset for days. There was a time when August's anger controlled him. He would become very violent and lose all rational thought. One example was when August was sent to his room for something. The reason is not important but the fact is that he was sent to his room. He was so furious with his parents that he took his anger out on his furniture. He picked up chairs and hurled them at the walls, at his door, and other furniture. Then when his anger finally subsided he saw the damage that he had caused. He parents told him that he would have to live with the consequences and so for a long time he lived with broken things. That should have been a sign. He should have known than that he had to consciously work to contain his anger. But no, it continued. The final straw came when his friends had been playing 'keep away.' If there is one thing that August cannot stand, it is 'keep away.' He lost control of his temper and lashed out at his friends. They just laughed at his anger and thought it was a big joke. He pounced on his closest friend and injured him. That's finally when August realised that anger was not an emotion that he wanted to employ. It controlled him and turned him into a monster. Just now when August had lost his temper with Jack he could feel the monster trying to get lose. August had to contain it. He had to.

Jack was trying to convince his younger brother that their parents treated the siblings differently. And that Jack, the victim of the family, was left all alone. Hah! If only Jack knew the truth. If only he knew how much the family was devastated that he was staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. If only he knew how much their parents trusted Jack that's why he was always left doing the babysitting. But of course, Jack would hear none of it. August was slowly starting to wonder whether there was something wrong with Jack. Mentally. Jack never believed that their parents loved him like the other offspring and yet the evidence said otherwise. Like he had some type of paranoia. He was jarred from his thoughts when Jack said, "Had I been an only child, I wouldn't have had to deal with any of the bloody trash." August could feel the tears sting behind his blue eyes. Jack had pretty much said he wished Bronsen and August had never been born. August's own brother, wishing that he had not been born. That was a wonderful feeling. Not. But he would not give Jack the satisfaction of seeing his younger brother cry. He blinked away the tears as he listened to the rest of Jack's answer. Jack paused when he talked about their mother. All three of the Reid children still found it quite difficult to speak of the matter. Well, Jack and he did. He could only assume that Bronsen did. "She....might not be like this," he finished saying. August stared at his brother but Jack was no longer in August's field of vision. He mind had traveled back to the night of when it had happened. "But I... she was..." he found himself saying. He opened his mouth to say something more but found his mouth suddenly dry and could not continue on so he left it open.

Suddenly realising that Jack was standing in front of him he closed his mouth and sucked up the excess drool. "I'm sorry, I gotta finish my homework Jack. It's nice to see you every now and again." He was having trouble forming the words in his mind. It was still racing with the thoughts of that night. What a horrific night that had been but he would never forget it until the day that he died. The accusing, the yelling and screaming, the flash of light... Maybe he could get a pensive and store the memory in there. Then he would never have to look at it again if he didn't want to.

He sat back down and returned his focus to the History of Magic essay. He couldn't imagine what his brother would do. He would probably storm off in a very Slytherin way. They had a flair for the dramatic. He just couldn't talk with his brother anymore. Jack was so frustrating at times. He would not listen to reason. It was like banging your head against a brick wall. August just wanted his parents and Jack to get along. He also wanted his elder brother to like his younger brother. But to no avail. August really was a sucker for punishment. He opened the book that he had found a place to start reading. "I'm sorry Bronsen and I troubled you with our births," he said coldly to Jack. He hoped it stung. August began to read and would not let Jack disturb him anymore.

[Jack Reid]

As Jack talked harshly to his brother, he saw August pushing back tears. Would he cry in front of Jack? That would be a form of weakness, and Jack knew that if he showed that, he would have gained control. Jack then saw his brother push back the tears even more, and as he said a last thought about their mother, the boy in front of him just opened his mouth wide, stuttering over his words. What in the world was he thinking? It seemed he was in some kind of vision. Before Jack could ask him about it, his brother snapped out of it, making up some lame excuse about needing to finish his homework. “Yeah, whatever. You just don’t want to talk about it anymore. And neither do I. What Mum and Dad do is apparently their own business, and the rest of the family’s, just not mine. Don’t you understand that Mum and Dad just let me out to dry? You probably think they just trust me, that’s why they stuck me with you and Bronsen. But it’s different than that, brother. Better get that through your skull and soon. They don’t care.”

Jack couldn’t tell what his brother was thinking, but he was very close to just leaving, and not listening to a word that August wanted to say anymore. In fact, he turned his back, starting to leave. Just as he was about to really leave, August piped up again. “I’m sorry Bronsen and I troubled you with our births,” he said, coldly. Jack spun around, furious again. He walked fiercely over to his brother, bent down and put his mouth to August’s ear. “You just wish I was gone too, don’t you?” he said in a near whisper, and even his own words haunted him. “Well I’m not going anywhere. If Mum and Dad wanted to put you in my charge, then that’s what you’ll get. If you don’t hate me now, just wait.” Jack pulled out his wand, and pointed it at his brother. “And there will be nothing you can do about it. No, it’s not a problem you were born. It’s a problem that you’ve decided to challenge me.” He hoped he was clear enough for his brother to get the point. Even if not, it didn’t matter. August and Bronsen would see eventually. He’d take charge of this family, even if it meant…drastic measures. With that thought, Jack whirled around and left his brother to the words he had just said.