Pages Yet To Be Written ((Lynne))

[Valmer Van Ruster S7]

Valmer walked through the large halls of Hogwarts, admiring the pictures on the walls and the random voices that talked from them. It was odd, to say the least, to walk through the hallway and hear voices whispering. It could almost drive someone mad. But at times, it soothed him. A few of the pictures told stories of families or friends that used to live in this very castle. Not family or friends of his, just in general. He found it almost interesting, and listened to a few of them from time to time. He also found it fascinating to just sit on one of the staircases and ride it as it moved from different spots in the large open room, which led to other rooms. It was enlightening, almost. He sometimes found himself locked in a gaze, watching each of the staircases move to their designated positions, and back and forth, as they moved, and then usually someone would be walking up or down and ask him to move. It would usually frustrate him, just because some people would push him aside, instead of waking him from his gaze. But they didn't know that just a simple touch and he was out of it. It almost felt like a trance sometimes, and he hated that, at times. That left his mind open to traveling anywhere it wanted to, and with the things in his mind, it was never good. Once in a great while, he would let his mind wander, and many times, he regretted it. His mind was a powerful tool, particularly because it was a wizard mind.

He had learned so much about this from his father. His father had been the one to teach him to guard his mind, and how to control it, focus it, on certain topics, events, and even with spells and charms. That's why some magic came easier for him than other students in his year. Even though he was only sixteen, his father had taught him so much from the age of ten, teaching him discipline, magic, and so many other things that he couldn't even remember anymore. But those things were still in his mind, and he had learned also from his father how to call those things out at the opportune time. Many people might not believe him, that his father had taught him this much in such a short time of six years, especially over summers, but he knew the truth. It didn't matter what others thought of him, just that he was okay with himself, and that the people he cared about, cared about him.

As he turned the one corner next to one of the larger classrooms, he noticed a blond girl walking quickly from the other direction. It was a girl he hadn't met yet, or at least he thought he hadn't met her yet. He wondered what house she was, because she was still too far away for him to see her color of robes. He found himself staring as she came closer. That happened quite a bit, especially lately. When he was focused on something, his eyes recently started just staring at whatever he was fixated on. It was a bad thing, to a degree. He certainly didn't want a girl to think something that was not even close to the truth. His heart currently belonged to Ruby, even if they were still getting to know each other. He would remain true to that end, if an end ever came. Of course, he didn't wish that at all. He enjoyed the time they had recently spent together, and looked forward to the next time he'd see her. Valmer pulled his gaze away from staring at the girl as she neared closer, and saw her blue and bronze robes, immediately registering in his mind as a Ravenclaw.

[Lynne Collins]

She was bored; Lynne registered the thought somewhat amusedly. That had never happened before. Always, she had had Kael or various other friends to keep her company but for some reason, she had no one right now. Maybe she needed some new friends, some who wouldn’t leave her to this mind-numbing boredness that was currently washing through her brain. No, it wasn’t their fault that she was alone. If she had let them sweep her along with their plan about sneaking out to the kitchens after midnight than she would be in the detention with them, rather than lying back on her bed and throwing then catching a rubber ball. Oh, she hoped they weren’t in too much trouble with Filch. She wasn’t too happy about being left all alone but...it wasn’t their fault. Not that she wanted to be in detention but maybe it would be more fun than this. As for Kael – well, wasn’t he always with Adrina nowadays? She didn’t begrudge her twin his happiness but there was no denying that she was jealous.

Okay, that was definitely the end of her standing – lying down – and being ridiculously bored. It was most certainly the end of the line when she started being jealous of Kael! She needed to get out of her dorm, out of the common room and away from everyone for a while. She just wasn’t good company right now so maybe it was a good thing her friends weren’t around. They’d never seen her break into sobs before and Lynne fully planned to keep it that way. Her weaknesses were hers alone, and not even her brother was welcome to know all of them. With an angry sigh, Lynne practically dashed from her place on the bed, through the common room and out into the corridors. She didn’t really know where she was headed, it was more like aimless wandering, with tears brimming in her eyes and occasional sniffling every once in a while.

Lynne scrubbed at her eyes furiously as the first tear slipped down her cheek. Oh, she was so ridiculous! She didn’t get overly emotional often but when she did get emotional, it was like the emotion of the last few weeks – or however long it had been since she got emotional – had all piled up, just waiting for her to break down again. It took a few minutes for her sniffling to stop altogether as she pulled herself together, but then her eyes narrowed at the boy staring at her. It was like her want to cry had stopped and a vague anger had set in. “What are you staring at?” Lynne demanded of him sharply, all too conscious of her red-rimmed eyes and being extra sharp to compensate. “Do I have something on my face? Is my hair messed up? Did someone stick a rue sign to my back? No, I don’t think so. So stare at someone else!” Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke, and Lynne couldn’t help but to despise herself for that, for the weakness that she was so blatantly showing.

[Valmer Van Ruster S7]

As the girl neared him closer, Valmer realized she was Lynne. A Ravenclaw, yes? He wasn't sure what year, but he knew he had seen her before. He hadn't talked to her much, but he knew of her. She seemed to be upset, and it appeared she had been or was crying. He wanted to reach out to her, but he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. She suddenly jerked her head up. Lynne must have noticed that he had been staring. He wasn't staring at her for any reason but to know who she was, because he hadn't recognized her right away. She began literally flipping out on him, asking him to stop staring at her. He was quite surprised at her forthrightness, and as much as the Slytherin inside him wanted to give a thunderous rebuttal, he held it in. He held it, until she was done ranting. Then he searched through his mind for something to say, but couldn't come up with anything at all.

He wanted to somehow tell her that everything would be okay, whatever it was, but he couldn't do that. That was false hope, especially if it was something she knew wouldn't be fixed. Plus, his father had taught him that same principle in the first place. So he looked at her, contemplating just ignoring it and leaving. Instead, he walked closer to her, and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" He knew he didn't need to say anything else. He just reached out his arm, as if to invite her to come closer, so they could talk. He wasn't trying to be fresh, and he wasn't trying to lure her into anything. Valmer knew what hurt was. He wanted to help her, but wasn't sure if she was going to be open or not.

As he waited for her to open up, or even come near to him, he thought about how many times he had been hurt by people. How he had been hurt by family, when they just didn't understand how he and his parents could be within the wizarding world, and why they would send him to a wizard school, such as Hogwarts. How he had been hurt by an ex girlfriend or two, they just wanted to see him fall. There were more stories of hurt in his life, but he wasn't sure if it was the kind of stuff that Lynne needed to hear. He decided to also introduce himself, if she didn't know him already. "I'm Valmer, by the way. I've seen you around before. You're Lynne, right? We haven't talked much, but most of the time, Slytherins know most people. Don't worry, I don't stalk anyone," he smiled as he chuckled. He hoped she would see he didn't want to fight her, he just wanted to help.

[Lynne Collins]

Lynne could hear herself scolding the younger boy, practically asking for him to retort in some way because no one, no matter what house they were from, could ever just let someone they didn’t even know just rant at them, taking out their anger on a stranger for no apparent reason. Right? Apparently not, because the boy just edged a bit closer and reached out for her, offering to listen, to let her let everything that was bothering her out. It was what she needed at that moment, and yet it was the last thing she wanted. Because she had had enough of opening up to people – only ever a few people and never opening up all the way - and getting hurt because of it. Even Danny had hurt her and Lynne had been so sure that her best friend would never have done that. It wasn’t his fault, couldn’t be his fault, because he hadn’t chosen to go to Russia, his parents had. But for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to believe that he had fought against it. No, he had gone along with it, she was sure of it. But why?

No! her mind yelled furiously, rebelling against the thought of opening up again and getting hurt again – look at what Danny had done to her just by leaving, would she really let that possibly happen again? If she did, then didn’t she deserve whatever she got? Hadn’t she brought it on herself? – even as her head nodded and her mouth formed the syllables of an agreement though no sound came out. Clearing her throat silently, Lynne tried again. “Yeah, I think I need to talk to someone and my therapist is kinda busy right now,” she smiled, giving the impression that she was joking. How could the younger boy possibly know that she regularly visited a psychologist during the summer and had ever since she was a young child?

“Yeah, I’m Lynnette Collins. Everyone calls me Lynne though, so I’m not surprised you know me by that name.” Her smile was faint but genuine, even accompanied by a broken giggle. “I’m glad I don’t have a stalker, as nice as it is to meet you Valmer. I’m not surprised though because I’m not the type of girl who attracts stalkers. Fame isn’t my dream so I’ll never get to have my very own stalker, thank goodness.” Lynne wiped away the remnants of her tears with a handkerchief before looking at Valmer curiously, grateful to him but still curious. “Why do you want to help me? I appreciate it,” she assured him hurriedly, “but I didn’t expect it, not from anyone.” The half-smile she shot at him was tinged with lingering unhappiness. “My own twin didn’t notice it so why did you, aqu-“ Lynne stopped mid-word, looking horrified and barely resisting the urge to clap a hand over her mouth. How could she have been so stupid as to let her instincts guide her and let the colour she associated with his name nearly slip out of her mouth? Aqua blue was a nice colour, but somehow she didn’t think Valmer would appreciate being called it. Nor did she expect him to drop the subject without questioning her. Oh why did she have to slip up around a complete stranger? Around one of her friends, she could’ve brushed it off or employed a little bit of blackmail to silence them on the subject.

[Valmer Van Ruster S7]

Valmer smiled as Lynne seemed to warm up to him quickly. All he wanted to do for anyone was to be there for them. He wanted to be the kind of person people go to for help, for advice, for consoling. This was a perfect opportunity, and Lynne seemed to need it. She agreed that she needed to talk, and he was glad she wasn't one of the ones to run away, scared to open up to him, even if he wasn't a stranger to them. He chuckled when she said that her therapist was busy. It was understandable to think that friends could act as therapists, because sometimes it was easier for even him to open up to friends rather than a professor or someone in authority. Then again, she could be serious and actually have a therapist. That didn't matter right now though. He would be there for her, no matter what it was that was bothering her. Valmer knew he was a year younger than Lynne, but that didn't matter either. He had received good advice from some of his younger friends, especially when they went through things he could never dream of. Divorce, suicide, and a number of other things he didn't know about, things he hadn't experienced. It was good to learn about experiences without going through them on your own.

He laughed at the joke she made about having a stalker, and smiled. "Yeah, I've never taken lightly to people wanting to know someone's every move, so I try not to do it myself," he said reassuringly. She questioned his motives, and he smiled again. "Just a simple guy, wanting to help someone out. You seemed like you were hurting, and I just want to help." She mentioned how she never expected help from anyone, and her twin didn't even notice. He was disappointed almost immediately, and said, "Wow. Well people need to either get their act together and notice when people need help, or they might as well not even be your friend." She started to say something, was it...Aqua? Instead of his name, she was going to call him a color. He pondered it for a moment, and wondered what she could have meant.

He brushed off the thought of the word, and moved on. "So what's got you walking down the halls crying? Some stupid guy try and use you? I could punch his lights out for you, if you want. Or maybe just use some kind of transfiguration spell on him, make him a frog. What do you say?" He laughed as he spoke, realizing how dumb he must have sounded. That word though, she was going to call him something. He couldn't figure it out, why she would do that. It was a nice color, yeah. But, why would Lynne call him that?

[Lynne Collins]

It felt good to know that someone wanted to help, even though he didn’t even know her. It was a warm feeling that reminded her of the hugs that her father had given her when she had been younger and a lot more prone to tears than she was now. Reassuring, Lynne decided philosophically. The warm feeling she felt deep inside was reassurance, reassurance that she wasn’t alone and that the world wasn’t completely wrong. It was similar to what she felt when her therapist actually hit upon a subject that was truly bothering her and helped her through it. It didn’t happen often, because it was too hard to open herself up to her therapist when she knew that the woman had no personal interest in her. She was just another client to the woman and no amount of understanding could ever change that. Dr Smythe – call me Alyssa, dear, because we’re going to be such good friends – probably wouldn’t even know her name if she hadn’t been going to a session every week during the summer since she had turned eleven and been accepted to Hogwarts. Before that, she had been every week throughout the years since she had turned seven. Sometimes she went by herself, sometimes with her brother, sometimes with her parents and even once with Vic.

“I don’t know why people would want to stalk anyone anyway, to be quite truthful. What is so interesting about a person that would drive someone to watch them day and night, recording every move they make? Is it the thrill of seeing someone change their socks?” Lynne mocked lightly, forcing herself to cheer up. If she didn’t then she’d be likely to make another mistake regarding name and colour association. Once she could possibly get away with – and apparently had, since Valmer hadn’t asked about it - but twice or three times would be pushing her luck to the extreme and she hadn’t ever been overly lucky. “Kael isn’t that bad,” she defended her twin instinctively, unable to do anything else. “He’s just...distracted a lot lately. He doesn’t have as much time to waste as he did when we were younger.”

Lynne couldn’t help but to let out a short laugh, filled with true humour. “Gosh, no. I don’t think my pride would let me ever cry over a guy unless he had broken my heart and no one has ever come close enough to be able to do that. I like the idea of turning people into a frog though, I might use that next time one of my friends annoys me. I’ll even let you watch, if you have nothing else to do.” Oh, what a lie, her mind protested bitingly. How many times had she cried over Danny leaving when no one had been able to see her or hear her? He hadn’t broken her heart, no, but hadn’t he been so close to doing so? Where had her pride been then? Trampled down by her despair at losing the one guy other than her brother who ever actually meant something to her. His name had been such a pretty colour too, a dark green that almost seemed to sparkle whenever she said it. It should have been blue though, she had repeatedly complained to herself; a nice blue that represented Ravenclaw and the one bond between them that not even his Gryffindor girlfriend could destroy. Oh yeah, she had been slightly jealous alright. Not enough to ruin their friendship by doing something reckless though. He had meant too much.

[Valmer Van Ruster S7]

Laughing at the topic of stalking, Valmer looked at Lynne, noticing a twinkle in her eye that he hadn't caught before. She was beautiful, yes. He couldn't help but notice that. But his mind should stick to Ruby, because that was who he was to be faithful to as of right now. Never mind that he really still wasn't sure of the whole thing, especially with her. Ruby always seemed to have more on her mind than what she wanted to tell him, and he wasn't sure he could deal with it. She finished about stalking, and he replied cleverly, "Well, maybe it's because they have the hots for the person, and they just don't know how to come right out and say it, so they start following them to wherever they are. Just so that they can imagine time with the person they care about. Of course, many stalkers take it to an extreme level. I like to be the kind of person that just cares about you, and wonders what you're up to." He hoped that what he was saying made sense to Lynne, because if it didn't, he would look like an idiot, babbling like that. "On the other side of things, I am a Slytherin, and I have a temper slash attitude that I must keep in check. So don't pester me!" He laughed as he said the words.

Valmer still couldn't get the phrase Lynne had almost called him out of his head. Why aqua? It was a beautiful color, but was it associated to him somehow? And if so, why? He didn't want to ask her about it, for fear that she might think she was stupid for saying it. He definitely didn't want to do that to someone he was trying to help and had just met. She mentioned about her twin, and that got him off the idea again. "Yes, I understand about being younger and having time to waste. When I first started at Hogwarts, things were relatively carefree and fun. Now I usually have to worry about schoolwork and other things, including running into new people crying in the hallway," he winked. "Just kidding." Lynne said how she would never cry over a guy, but then again, why was she crying in the first place? Maybe she didn't want to say, but he couldn't help but be curious.

"Why were you crying, though? If it wasn't some idiot of a guy?" He asked calmly, hoping not to make her upset. Then again, if she got upset, what did it matter? That meant she just didn't trust him. That was fine with him, she didn't have to. He laughed at her joke about frogs, and smiled. "Yeah, it's fun to turn people into frogs. Some of the professors hate it, but it's funny anyway." He turned and sat on the bench in the hallway, inviting her to sit down as they talked. "Do you want to sit here, or do you want to go somewhere else and talk? It's fine with me if you do." He waited for her to respond.

[Lynne Collins]

Lynne wrinkled her nose, looking bemused. “What an odd way to show affection for someone though. It’s scary, not something that would result in love. Isn’t it just easier to admit to your feelings and then deal with the consequences? That’s what I’ve always done.” She couldn’t help but to smile fondly, remembering some of the better times she’d had with half-decent boyfriends who couldn’t hope to match up to her image of the perfect guy. Not even Danny had matched up to that image, but he had come closer than a lot of her actual boyfriends. How pathetic. The one person she couldn’t have and never would have was the closest to perfect that Lynne had ever encountered. Sometimes she thought that fate just enjoyed messing up her life. Kael struck lucky on his first try of having a serious girlfriend, and yet Lynne had had more boyfriends than she could count on two hands. Not to mention that she was constantly assaulted by colours whenever she spoke or whenever she heard anyone speak. But all the same, a small smile curved her lips as she glanced at Valmer discreetly. He had such a lovely colour, she half-wondered if everything about him would be the same. “I’ll pester you all I want,” Lynne replied playfully, patting the top of his head and winking. “You’re my new Valmer-buddy.”

“When we were younger, I never felt like Kael never had time for me. He was always there and he was a lot more light-hearted when it was just us two. He’d even sneak out of the house with me and we’d have mini camping adventures in the garden and then clear everything away before our parents woke up. We’d be like zombies in the morning though, because we hadn’t slept any but I knew that I could always rely on him because he was my twin and nothing could ever break our twin-bond. So why do I feel like we’ve already broken apart and I just never took the time to notice?” Lynne questioned sadly, the happy glimmer in her eyes that had been caused by Valmer slowly fading into nothing. Maybe they were just too old to be as close as they had been not too long ago, but why? Was it a side-effect of growing up and maturing or was it something else? Kael held a secret from her, she knew he did because he was so transparent to her, and it involved her somehow. Maybe that could possibly be part of the reason? “Oi,” Lynne grinned slightly, finding it easier to drag herself away from such miserable thoughts. “Who else have you met in such a way? Am I not unique anymore?”

“I guess everything just got too much for me to handle,” Lynne replied distantly, deliberately vague. She wasn’t a naive child who would trust everyone and anyone after the first meeting; not anymore. She had been hurt too many times. “I prefer turning them into worms, I must admit. It’s so much more satisfying and a lot less noisy.” She could practically feel her sadness retreating again as she laughed and joked with Valmer. Maybe her crying in the corridor had been a good thing. Nobody had been able to cheer her up so quickly, not even Kael or Danny. “I don’t mind talking here. I doubt we’ll talk about anything so interesting that we’ll be gossiped about. If you have a girlfriend though, she’ll know about you sitting here with me before the end of the day,” Lynne warned him seriously. She’d had her fair share of attacks from jealous girlfriends. Just once, she wouldn’t mind actually deserving the insults the girlfriends hurled at her out of pure jealousy and insecurities.

[Valmer Van Ruster S7]

As Lynne explained her feelings on the subject of stalking, Valmer couldn't help but agree. He had only been kidding about justifying it, but she apparently thought he was serious. "Well," he chuckled. "I was just kidding about that whole thing. I actually agree with what you said, that if you feel a certain way, you should just come out about it and see what happens. Rejection sucks, yeah. But how will you know if the person will reject you or not if you don't even try?" He listened to himself as he talked, and was surprised he told her that. He barely ever opened up about that kind of thing, relationships that is. Yes, he had Ruby, but was he happy? Not quite, if he was being completely honest. Ruby wasn't even really his girlfriend, they had just agreed they liked each other and they wanted to pursue that. What should he do with that? He knew right away that he liked Lynne, at least as a friend. She was beautiful, like he had thought before. The more they talked, the more he felt an urge to tell her. But he couldn't, could he? Ruby would have his head.

Wait, what am I thinking? Ruby and I aren't together. We hung out at Hogsmeade, and in the courtyard...that one time. Why is she having such a dominant effect over my mind? he thought. He shook the feeling and attitude about Ruby off, focusing on the beauty in front of him. She was smiling at him, probably dreaming about whatever it was she was about to say or call him earlier. He still wasn't sure what to think about that, but she likely had a good reason for it. She called him her "Valmer-buddy" (which was kind of cute, but weird) and patted his head. He immediately thought, I'm not a dog. But he decided to play around with her a bit. "You know, I barely ever let anyone touch my hair," he said slyly. "But I guess you can, just because you're...you." He laughed at his own sentence, realizing how dumb it must have sounded.

Valmer wasn't sure what to make of the twin talk, mainly because he didn't have a sibling that was identical to him. His sister had always been a pain, yet he still loved her to death. They weren't twins. Valmer let Lynne finish, not quite sure what to say. "Of course you're unique," he assured her, however. "I've never met anyone to call someone by a color. It's very interesting. What exactly was that? Don't think I'm judging you or anything, I actually think it's kind of cool. Tell me about it." He hoped he wasn't scaring her, he was just curious about whatever it was she had said before. He laughed when she made mention about the worms, and pondered what to say when she said about his girlfriend. Here it was. All or nothing time. "I don't have a girlfriend. I think it's fine that we're talking. You're a wonderful person to talk to; in fact, I could talk to you forever!" Then he thought of something. It was a surprise thought, but he figured, who would know. "We could go to some abandoned classroom or something. Here, come with me!" he exclaimed. He grabbed her hand, pulling her along to the nearest empty classroom, the Transfiguration Hall. He looked in, making sure it was deserted, and pulled his wand out, spoke the light spell, and the space right in front of him lit up.