Dazed Distractedness ((Sophia))

[Kia Brightstar]

"I didn't imagine it," Kia argued furiously, glaring at her aunt. Her aunt merely rolled her eyes imperiously before smiling with exaggerated patience, her own temper reaching its frayed limits. "Of course you imagined it Kia. Kaelyn didn't squeeze your hand. If she had, then she'd be showing more signs of life by now. Just try to accept it. The child isn't going to wake up, and certainly not in time for her birthday!" Kia slumped, all of the fight leaving her as instantly as it had came. Why did her aunt keep resorting to the birthday argument? It just knocked every thought of arguing out of Kia's mind, replacing it with sheer misery. "Yes, Aunt Amelia. I imagined it. I must have. Kae isn't going to wake up any time soon." Kia responded obediently, her once-lively eyes shining with unshed tears. Not that her Aunt noticed. She never noticed anything anymore.

Kia's aunt approached her, slowly laying a hand on her shoulder, almost as though she was afraid of Kia biting her or attacking her. "It's for your own good, you know that. It's not healthy for you to continue believing that your sister will suddenly wake up from her coma. You know what the doctors said. Say it with me," Amelia encouraged, speaking to Kia like she was a three year old. "If Kae was going to wake up then she would have done if within the first two weeks. The longer she stays asleep, the less likely she is to wake up," Kia recited dutifully, her eyes trained on the floor. If she looked up then she was likely to lash out and her aunt didn't deserve it. Not when she was grieving over Kia's father just as much as she was. It wasn't the same thing, Kia thought resentfully. So what if Amelia had lost a brother, she had lost a father and a sister. They were in completely different states of mourning and yet her aunt acted like she understood.

"I'm going out," Kia decided suddenly, grabbing a jacket on her way out of the door and ignoring her aunts questioning about where, with who and for how long. She shut the door sharply, glad to block out her aunts voice and shrugged into her jacket. "Wherever I want, by myself and for as long as I need to be away from this place." Kia answered sarcastically, mocking her aunt mercilessly. "It's not like she cares anyway," Kia kicked at a can rebelliously, ignoring the glares that one of the neighbours sent her way when it bounced into her garden. "She just wants to be left alone so she can grieve for her brother. It doesn't matter that I've lost a father or that Kae's not waking up. What do we matter to her?" If anyone had asked Kia when she had became so cynical then she wouldn't have had an answer except for a good guess for about the time that her family had completely fallen apart at the seams.

When had she ended up in Diagon Alley? Kia wondered idly, not really bothered about the answer as she wandered around the shops. Maybe she would get lucky and bump into Maryn or Ciaran or anyone she knew. It would be nice to talk with someone who didn't look at her with that pity in her eyes, Kia admitted to herself silently. And she knew she'd been at the hospital too much when the nurses on Kae's ward not only knew her name, but also which drink she favoured from the vending machine down the corridor. Kia neatly sidestepped just before she bumped into one person but then stepped right into another person, almost knocking herself over. "Oh," Kia's eyes widened in shock. "I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. Are you okay?"

[Sophia Hallington H7]

((I take it this is set in the holidays?))

Sophia stared at the list of work she had been set to do over the holidays. Although she had a full two months off, she wanted to get it all done as soon as possible before she got distracted or pre-occupied with other things. How did Snape expect her to do a long essay, couped up inside her own bedroom where she was slowly roasting even with the window open as much as possible, about how you could make some potion for the first lesson back when outside the weather could not be nicer, and much much more pleasant than inside. She gazed out of the window as she sat at her desk with the task, ink and parchment in front of her on her stained desk from the various times ink had been spilled. At least it was colourful. Blues, Greens, Yellows, Purples dotted all over it. She tried to remember the time when the beech desk was clean.

She was thinking. She needed to get out and do something other than stare at parchment all day. She was off to see her cousins in France the following week, and hence she needed to find some gifts for them. Emily was due to start at Beauxbatons in September in her first year, so she could do with some stationary. Perhaps a nice pink and purple quill with an assortment of inks? Yeah, she'd like that. And you can never have too many quills or too much ink even if she has one. Pierre was was already at Beaxbatons, just about to go into his 3rd year. She could get him something from the joke shop. All this meant she'd have to go to Diagon Alley then. Well, she could do with going there anyway. She needed more ink and parchment herself.

Leaving the work as it was on her desk, she took her small bag of floo powder from one of the drawers in her bed, went to tell her mum where she was off to, and throwing some into the fireplace in her room, she called out "Diagon Alley" as she jumped into the flames. Moments later she arrived in the street, still dizzy after the floo trip, and walked in the general direction of Gringotts to get some more money out. Then she would go to the stationary shop to buy the ink, quills and parchment. Then she would go to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, and then to the ice-cream parlour for an ice-cream to cool down before she went home.

Just as she was passing Malkin's, on her way to the ice-cream parlour having bought the things she needed, someone bumped into her. Looking to see who it was, she recognized it as Kiana, a Gryffindor in her year. "Hey Kia. Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it. How're you, what's up? What brings you here? I really couldn't be bothered with the work that we have to do so I just came here-stuff I needed to get too. You seemed to be absorbed in your own thoughts there...are you ok?

[Kia Brightstar]

((It is indeed set in the holidays ))

Her thoughts were all over the place. Bouncing from Kae to her Dad to Maryn and Ciaran and the way things used to be and then returning to Kae once more. She was uneasy and there was no way to deny it. It was the first time she had been away from Kae for more than ten minutes without being sure that Adam was there to watch over her during her absence. What if something happened while she was gone? Kae could wake up or something bad could happen. It was so tempting to just turn back and make her way to the hospital and settle down for another day of watching Kae for any sign of waking - something that had quickly become a routine during the summer - but Kia soothed herself with the thought of buying a present for when Kae woke up. Just in case it happened while she was in Hogwarts and she wasn't there. It was possible.

"Oh, Sophia, I'm sorry. You didn't drop anything did you?" Kia bit her lip fretfully. She couldn't remember the last time her mind had been so distracted that she had bumped into someone and almost caused an accident. "I'm fine, just a bit preoccupied, really. I guess I'm just a bit distracted today." Kia lifted one shoulder in a lazy shrug, acting careless. "I guess that the argument with my Aunt this morning disturbed me more than I'd thought." That was an outright lie, her mind protested fiercely. Kia hated lying, but she didn't want the news about her sister to be spread across the school, which was why she would have hesitated to tell even Maryn if she hadn't discovered Kia when she had just received the letter about the accident.

"Oh, I can't believe the amount of homework we got and I can't be bothered with it either. I'll never get it done in time." Kia laughed lightly, feeling more normal than she had in weeks. Maybe it was just the conversation about normal subjects or maybe the freedom of talking to someone who didn't know about her sister, but Kia liked it. It reminded her of the way she had been and the way she wanted to be again. Carefree and happy; just like every other normal teenage girl during the summer. "I'm thinking of getting a present for my little sister actually. It's her birthday soon and I've gotten her present already but she's in hospital so I thought it'd be nice for her to get a little teddy bear or something to keep her company." Kia smiled sheepishly. "Not that a stuffed animal can actually talk, but it'd be comforting, right?"

Kia paused thoughtfully before speaking again. "I was going to get an ice-cream and there's a café just a few minutes away that serves the best ice-cream sundaes that I've ever tasted. If you have time to spare, do you want to come with me? Think of it as an apology for nearly knocking you over." Kia grinned lightly, almost surprised at how easily she could smile even though her heart was still trying to heal from the loss of her father and Kae's accident, as she waited for Sophia's response. It felt like the first time she had smiled all summer and Kia was simply glad to know that she could still smile.

[Sophia Hallington H7]

Kia was obviously distracted, and her thoughts definately elsewhere. By the look on her face, Sophia could tell that this was because something bad, possibly terrible had happened recently. As she didn't know Kia too well-they were in some of the same lessons, but tended to have different groups of friends-Sophia had no idea what had happened. She hadn't seen Kia since the end of term, and that was a couple of weeks earlier-anything could have happened since then. Ravenclaw won the cup once again-the only time they hadn't won in Sophia's tim there was the previous year when Hufflepuff won. Well, there was always future years. Then her thoughts drifted back to Kia, and wondering what was making her look so glum on this fair day.

Kia then started to talk again, rather fretfully. "Nope, nothing dropped. Everything's fine. The only fragile thing among this stuff is some ink pots, and even those aren't too bad. Don't worry about that. Are you sure you're ok? THe arguement must have been pretty bad if it distracted you enough to bump into people." Sophia was concerned...she could also tell by Kia's voice that something was wrong. She was trying to act careless about it. There was something odd in her tone...as if she was trying to convince herself, in a way. Sophia had a feeling she was trying to hide something, but she didn't want to make assumptions about people and let them know if the chances were she was wrong.

"I know, it's rediculous isn't it!" Sophia said about the amount of homework. "There's potions, which I'm rubbish at to say the least-I'd be surprisd if I get anything above a D next year really. Then there's transfiguration, right? That's not as bad. I had Arithmancy too...which wasn't bad at all. Astronomy I don't wanna do but I guess I'll have to. Not forgetting that long History essay, and DADA which I'll have no idea what to do with! At least Hagrid, Sprout and Flitwick were nice enough to give us a free summer. And I'm going away next week for the rest of the summer and I won't want to do any while I'm there...going to see family. That's why I'm here actually, needed to buy things to take over there for my cousins." She was hoping that this would distract Kia frm her thoughts of whatever had happened. Even just for a minute, that would do. Even if she wasn't particularly intetrested in school.

Then Kia was talking about getting a teddy for her sister "Aww, that's nice. She'd like that. Company's always good when you're ill-comforting as you said. I'm sorry to hear she's in hospital-send her my best wishes. What happened to her...anything serious? Must be horrible for you whatever it is. I don't know what I'd do if anyone in my family had to go to hospital." That was it. That was why Kia was looking so glum. It was her sister-something had happened to her. Sophia felt really sorry for Kia now. As she'd told her, she didn't know what she'd do if anyone in her family had to go to Hospital.

Looking up as Kia was talking about getting an ice-cream, Sophia nodded. "Great, sure, I'll go with you. I was just on my way there actually. It's so warm out here I need to cool down. And the ice-cream there is gorgeous! The best in the country...probably the best outside Italy, if not better! The Italians do great ice-cream-I went there a few years ago. Lovely country. I shall go there again sometime. Anyway, shall we go then? I'll pay, don't worry about bumping into me. We all get really distracted at times..."

[Kia Brightstar]

"There's been a lot of things on my mind," Kia admitted unhappily, attempting a weak smile. "It's unusual for me to think about anything important, I know, but lately it seems that that's all I've been doing. I'm just glad I didn't seriously hurt someone by walking into them, like I walked into you. I think I'm mostly just worried about my sister, and the argument with Aunt Amelia didn't really help to soothe my mind. But I'll be fine by the time we get back to Hogwarts. If not, there are a lot more people for me to walk into. It's an entertaining way to make new friends, even if it is rather cliched," Kia grinned lightly, almost painfully aware that her grin was a little too bright and her voice a little too light-hearted; a sure giveaway that she was trying too hard to act like her normal self when that was the last thing she wanted.

"I'm not too bad at Potions, and I'm okay with Defence, but I'm completely awful with Transfiguration. I don't get it at all. I think I managed up to third year level transfigurations and then I kinda stopped being able to tranfigure anything. Honestly, I need a friend hissing answers and wrist or hand movements into my ear during Transfiguration classes. Astronomy isn't too bad for me, because my cousin loves star-gazing, even when it's cold outside, so he can help me without any trouble. The History essay is annoying - why do we even have to know that stuff? It's not like we're going to travel back in time and live through it. I know there's the myth about history repeating itself if we forget it, but I don't really believe that. Stuff happens and then it's over." Kia shrugged, smiling at her own ineptitude in Transfiguration and dislike for History of Magic. "We don't even learn the history of magic; we learn the history of goblin rebellions. What does that have to do with how magic and spells were invented or perfected?"

Kia's smile stiffened slightly when the subject of her sister came up, mentally berating herself for starting the discussion in the first place. But it wasn't something she could just hide away, and Kia wasn't one to lie so it wasn't an option to not tell the turth about Kae. It wasn't like she was deliberately trying to keep it a secret anyway, it was just something she didn't particularly like talking about because it was an upsetting topic. "Um...it's rather serious, I guess. She's in a coma, because of a car accident. That's why I'm getting her a present, in case she wakes up while I'm at Hogwarts. That's actually what the argument with my Aunt was about, to be honest," Kia confessed, feeling rather glad to get the mixed emotions into words and off her chest, where the argument had been resting fairly heavily. "She doesn't think Kae will wake up, at least not any time soon, but I'm certain I felt her hand move yesterday."

"Italy does the best ice-cream, there's no denying it." Kia agreed, happy to have company. It had been far too long since she had just hung out with someone her own age without the subject of her sister hanging between them like a large yellow giraffe in the corner of the room. "This summer has been so hot. I don't think I've ever experienced a British summer when there's been such a heatwave. There's no need to go abroad with weather like this." Kia paused, looking around in confusion. "Is the café right or left from here? I really can't remember anymore," Kia grinned sheepishly.

((It's not the best post ever, but at least it's up before I go away, which was my main concern.))

[Sophia Hallington H7]

"Mmhmm, I can see what you mean. With it being an important time of our lives-what with OWLs coming up, which could determine our futures to some extent, it's hard not to think of serious things. Everyone expects us to be more mature and serious now we're higher in the school, and that effects us. That's probabyl not what you're getting at, but anyway. And it's the holidays too...less work to do, although we have a lot, so more time to think about stuff, leading onto serious thoughts. Though if your thoughts started before the holidays, then that's not a valid reason I guess."

"And nope, no serious harm done. No harm done at all, I think. No pain anyway. And I think it's pretty hard to seriously hurt someone just by bumping into them, unless you're carring something heavy or you knock them over. And yeah, it is an interesting way to make new friends. You end up taking to people you see every day at school, but who just tend to be, well, there, if you get what I mean. Know the name, have some of the same classes perhaps, maybe talk to occasionally. Which is a good thing I think. I like getting to know people better...you get to see beyond what they seem like when you just see them around. The majority of people are nice, once you get to know them."

Sophia needed to take a breather, after that long speech. She could see that the grin was fake, as was the voice. There was something wrong. Most likely worrying about her sister, which is understandable. She was trying hard to be her normal self, even if it wasn't the most successful attempt she'd ever seen. Kia was often aware of her surroundings from what she'd seen, and she seemed pretty ourgoing too. She wouldn't normally let herself be distracted enough to bump into people.

"Hmm, I just can't get potions at all. There's no way I'm going to pass. I'll most likely get a T, or a D if I'm lucky. Maybe even a P if the exam goes well and I can get a grip with the practicals. Defence I'm useless at...I'm too much of a wuss...I just freeze up if I see anything scary, I really can't attack the thing well. And that's quite ironic, that you're bad with Transfiguration, seeing as your in Gryffindor with McGonnagall. I hope I pass...though I doubt I'll get better than an A. Same with charms...though I prefer Flitwick. And yeah, the essays for History are really annoying, but to be honest I kinda find it pretty interesting. If I get an E, I'll probably take it for NEWT. I wanna do Herbology, COMC and Arithmancy too. I doubt I'll get the grades in anything else. And with Astronomy I just don't have the concentration to keep awake enough to do well. But you're lucky with your cousin there."

"Oh my, that's terrible Kia! I'm so sorry! I hope she wakes up soon-I don't want you to be miserable all summer, and I don't want her to miss summer too. I really hope she gets better. Car accidents can be terrible. There are some stupid people on the roads. Causing others to have accidents, or getting themselves into them. But it's a good sign hat you felt her hand move-if she did mover her hand, then she most be improving. And if she does get better, and I'm sure she will eventually, it'll prove your aunt wrong. You have to have some optimism in life, don't let others get you down. An arguement about it is the last thing you want. Really, you're probably stressed enough as it is. You don't need it to be aggrevated more."

"Yeah, Italy's a great country. Great food, great weather, great culture. And I love the language-there's a reason why it's called a romance language. I would like to learn it at some point. Hopefully it won't be too hard, seeing as I already speak French. The French helped me get around better when I went to Italy that time. And this summer has been really hot! Must be a record, surely. And as you say, no need to go abroad really. Except I have to go and visit my cousins...I have to go every year-tradition. And I need to keep speaking French-I don't wanna forget it." She paused while she wondered which direction it was to the cafe. "Umm, it's left from here I think. Just before Nocturn Alley. What a great place for an ice-cream parlour..."

[Kia Brightstar]

"It's always good to make new friends, or even just get to know people better. You can see people everyday, share classes with them for years and still not know anything about them." Kia agreed, her eyes just a little too bright, her smile just a little too wide. Too bright, too wide, too fake. None of it was her. Not anymore, maybe not ever. What was her anymore? Who was Kia really, and who did she want to be right now? She'd had it all planned out at one time. Everything would happen in a certain way and her life would follow a neat little plan that resided only in her head and in her imagination. When had her neat, little, packaged plan for her life started to fall apart? There were so many places where it could have started, but which event had actually been the catalyst? It was better that she didn't know, Kia decided. Hadn't she been taught to not dwell on the past, and hadn't she seen how much damage living in what had been could do to a person? No, Kia might not know which direction she wanted her life to take, but it wasn't backwards, she knew that much. Any way but toward the past.

"I'm pretty good with Potions practicals. It's the theory behind the actual potions that confuses me. I can mix all the ingredients together without blowing anything up, but I don't have a clue why certain substances cause an explosion when added together. So I lose a lot of points when Snape asks questions about theory," Kia added laughingly, her smile slightly less bright and a bit more natural as her mind focused on matters that had been her main concern before the news about her sister had reached her. "I'll probably get an A in Transfiguration, if I study really hard. It's pretty ironic, I know, but I just can't get to grips with anything to do with it. I'm not too bad at Charms, but I absolutely despise History. Arithmancy is really interesting, so I might take that as a NEWT, but I do find Astronomy really fascinating even if I doubt that I'll take it for NEWT. Then again, I have no idea what I want to do in the future, so why not?"

"I kinda crumbled when I first heard the news, to be completely honest. I quite simply couldn't handle it. For years, it's just been me and Kae and Adam, my cousin, with my dad lurking in the background whenever he wasn't working. It was hard enough for me when my mum died, but losing the rest of my family was too much for me to handle." For the first time during the conversation, Kia smiled; a true, soft smile as she thought about what had happened after she had crumbled, the two people who had helped her more than they knew. "I would still be a crying, confused wreck if Maryn and Ciaran hadn't found me. They pushed me toward the road to recovering and dealing with the news but I can't continue to rely on them all the time." Kia's smile saddened noticably. "Kae loved the summer, it was her favourite time of the year because it was one of the rare times that she could see me. It doesn't seem fair that our time together has been taken away because of one stupid person."

"I know a little bit of Italian. I spent ages trying to learn because I loved the sound of the language. So I could probably find my way around without too much difficulty. Knowing another language does help when trying to learn another one though; even knowing a little bit of Italian helped me so much when I learned Spanish. My plan for this summer was to learn either German or French, but that plan kinda dissolved after Kae's accident. Maybe next summer." Kia offered a slight smile, pondering the direction to the café before deciding that Sophia was correct and turning left, satisified to recognise to shops and cafes around her. "There's still a five minute walk to Knockturn Alley from here," Kia assured her. "So we're not really that close. Well, we are. But we could be closer."

[Sophia Hallington H7]

Sophia nodded as Kia agreed with what she said about friends. "Yeah, you're right. I don't know much at all about the majority of the people in our year. I'm just really shy when it comes to meeting and getting to know people, so I don't really start conversations with people often". She was glad that Kia agreed with her about making friends. It was always good to get to know people better. Sophia had always found it hard to make friends, she had always been really shy. But she was concerned that Kia was trying too hard to be her normal self, when it was obvious she wasn't. Of course it must be mostly due to her sisters accident-that would have been horrible to go through. And she was well aware that she was probably more of an acquaintance than a friend to Kia, and hence she probably didn't want to be too open about it. She wondered how open Kia was with her close friends with these sorts of things. She was often such a lively, friendly girl, and although she didn't know her that well, Sophia didn't think that she was the sort of person that would hide stuff from her close friends. She deicded that she would leave that...it wasn't really her business, and although she wondered about these things, she didn't like to be nosey. Well, if Kia mentioned anything she might ask, but otherwise not,

"Well, at least you've got the practical skill with potions. I can't even do that! Whenever I do a practical in the lessons, something always goes wrong-it goes the wrong colour, or it all boils over too much, or it sometimes explodes. Theories easier for me, though it's still quite hard. I could possibly just about pass, but with my terrible practical skills I won't pass overall. Transfiguration I can do, but not always successfully. McGonnagall gets really frustrated sometimes, I can tell, but I should pass. History, well, I can at least keep awake in. I should pass, anyway. Though as you say, it's more about wars than magic, I can find it quite interesting. Like the time when we did about werewolves or something. And yeah, arithmancy is just fascinating-it's my favourite subject. Numbers are just great. At primary school maths was my faveourite subject. Back before I'd even heard of Hogwarts." She thought about that time for a while. She never believed that witches and wizards existed until she got her letter which she originally thought was some sort of joke, until her father told her that his great great grandmother's aunt had been a witch, and attended Hogwarts, and so there was some magic blood in her. Then 2 years later her cousin in France got a letter about Beauxbatons.

She listended as Kia told her about what happended when she heard about her sister's accident. She shook her head in a sympathetic sort of way. "That's awful Kia. I'm not surprised you could barely handle it all. I don't know what I'd do if lost all my family. I'm not surprised you crumbled...I probably would have done the same if that had happened to me. I just hope that your sister recovers, for both your sakes. And at least you've got some good friends to support you. And I can see what you mean about not wanting to rely on them all the time, but if they're good friends, they'll always be there for you, even if you don't want to burden them. I'd feel the same in your situation, to be honest." The conversation then drifted back directly to her sister. "Hey, there's no need to talk about her in the past tense. She's not completely gone yet, she's still alive, even if she's in a coma. There's still hope for her yet, she could still see some of summer, however likely it seems. And it is unfair that you've been seperated in her favourite time of year, I agree, but it's not over yet. Think positive, although that's easier said than done. "

"Wow, that's good that you taought yourself Italian and Spanish! It is useful to learn otehr languages. And it does help if you want to learn more than one. With Spanish and Italian they're pretty similar, and I think French is quite similar, being the other major romance language. German is so different-I had to learn a bit in Primary school. I guess it's kinda similar to English though. And yeah, maybe next summer you could learn one of them-it's a real shame what's happened this summer to stop those plans." They turned the corner, and walked over to the ice cream parlour. "Hi, Can I have a 'triple chocolate twist' and umm, Kia, what ice cream would you like? And yeah, what Kia wants, please." She put the money on the counter, and waited for the ice creams to be served.