Disasterpiece. ((Closed.)) [PG-13]

[Esmeralda Mendez]

WARNING: This thread contains PG-13 material and readers under the age of thirteen should not read the contents of this post.

Counseling.

The word flooded through Ezzie’s thoughts, interrupting her thinking as she sat alone in the corner of the common room. She had become nothing but a loner over the past weeks. No one seemed to care that Ezzie’s fame was rising. No one seemed to care that she was in the magazines all the time. All they cared about was the fact that she had “killed Ethan.” Everyone hated Ezzie now. Even her former best friend, Casey hated her guts. After she had found Ezzie in the bathroom that day, she wouldn’t even look at Ezzie. It had been like this for weeks. When would it ever stop? She glanced out the window, letting tears streak from her eyes. Even Septimus hated her. Ezzie hadn’t seen her around the school in ages, so she had come to the conclusion that she was ignoring her. Carson was so absorbed in Casey’s wants and needs that he didn’t seem to care about Ezzie, although he came to talk to her every now and again when Casey wasn’t hanging on his shoulder.

Remembering today was Saturday, and she had yet another counseling session with that woman who Ezzie felt probably needed counseling. Ezzie absentmindedly wiped her tears and walked out of the common room. Today, Ezzie was sporting probably the shortest skirt known to man, (for man had invented the skirt merely for his own pleasure) accompanied by a pair of black fishnet stockings and a blue shirt that had no sleeves, was overly tight, and only stopped above her navel. Just to make the outfit seem slightly more conservative, she added on a long sleeved shirt made purely of white fishnet. She was also wearing a pair of thick black combat boots. It was only a few days after Valentine’s Day, and Ezzie didn’t even want to think about how she had spent that dreadful day. She had only known Ethan for a couple of months, but she felt like she had known him a lifetime. As Ezzie walked along the corridors and hopped into a now empty Hogsmeade carriage, she thought about that terrible Valentine ’s Day, feeling her eyes start to fill with fresh un-shed tears. Ezzie was surprised she hadn’t cried all the tears out of her system by now. It seemed like all she did lately was cry.

She thought she was going to marry Ethan one day, but that dream had been taken away from her the day she “killed” Ethan. Now the same thoughts were running through her head today as they were on Valentine’s Day. She would have been sharing a lovely double-date like dinner with Ethan, Casey, and Carson had it not been for what she did. She would have been just fine had she not screwed up so badly on December 19th. Ezzie exited the carriage in tears and was greeted by the horribly familiar site of crowds of reporters and bright camera flashes. She felt more tears slide down her cheeks. “When is this disaster going to end?” She yelled out. And then a voice came out of nowhere from inside of her. When you end it yourself. Said the voice. Ezzie’s eyes widened as she fled for a small secluded alley behind the Three Broomsticks. Sure, killing herself would be a dramatic solution, but it was a solution. The question was, how would she do it, and would she have the strength to do it when the time came?

“Wow, meeting a rock star in an alleyway. It’s not a thing many people can truthfully say we’ve done. But I guess we can both add that to our list of things then, can’t we? I’m T.J. Turner. Nice to meet you, Ezzie.” Ezzie jumped and would have screamed if it wasn’t for the fact the press would be there a second later.

“First off. How the hell did you know it was me?” Ezzie raised her eyebrow, though she doubted the mysterious boy could even see the gesture. “You stalking me or something?” The boy chuckled. Ezzie couldn’t exactly see who it was, but she could make out a basic figure. He was lean, tall, and was smoking what looked like a cigarette. He stepped closer, revealing a handsome teenage face. His skin was light, but not pale. In fact, it looked like he had just recently been on vacation. He had straightened deep brown hair and light brown eyes. God, was he good looking.

“Not a stalker. Just a fan. You play some hardcore music. Not exactly the style of music….or clothing you’d see in a fifteen year old. But it does work for you.” His accent was that of a man from Australia or New Zealand. He had a pretty hot accent too. “Thanks…I think.” Ezzie said as she eyed the boy suspiciously. He brought the cigarette to his perfectly shaped lips and took a long drag. “No problem. You might not know me, but I’m the lead singer for a band called Romanticide.” This comment jogged Ezzie’s memory. She’d heard vague words of the boy before, but she hadn’t heard much. All she had heard from magazines and his enormous female fan base was that he was “the bad boy of punk music.” It was a title the boy obviously wore proudly. Ezzie crossed her arms across her chest and continued to look at him suspiciously. There was something worth knowing about T.J. Ezzie wasn’t sure what it was yet, but she knew for a fact she wasn’t going to leave until she found out what it was.

[Esmeralda Mendez]

“Yeah, I’ve heard of you a couple times. And if my sources are correct, which they’re probably not, then it would probably be wise for me to stay away from you, Mr. Turner.” Ezzie backed away a step and T.J. moved a step closer. T.J. had some sort of mysterious aura to him, and Ezzie was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. She had always been drawn to mysterious people. She hated when things were spelled out for her in plain sight like she was an ignorant little child. She wanted to do some guesswork, to figure things out for herself. Ezzie sighed, playing around with her long dark hair as she leaned against the hard stone wall. She noticed T.J. getting closer to her with each step, but she didn’t really care much. Lately, she’d pretty much kept very far away from men in fear of getting hurt again. She would always appear to be available with the way she dressed, but never actually be available. Her biting attitude and seemingly cold-hearted nature had basically kept most guys at school from even coming near her.

“So what’s a pretty girl like you doing all the way out in Hogsmeade, eh? Shouldn’t you be studying for exams or something?” T.J. challenged. Ezzie crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow. Obviously this T.J. guys hadn’t been paying much attention to what was going on. The press kept reporting on how Ezzie’s grades were supposedly failing miserably when in fact she was getting decent grades in all her subjects. “Ah, not the study type I see.” He crossed his arms as well, only when he did it, he looked laid back and cool, meanwhile Ezzie just looked like she was angry at the world when she did it. She laughed. “I used to be. But not since…well you probably know.” Ezzie merely shrugged and added that last part quite bitterly. It seemed like there were cameras shoved all up in Ezzie’s personal life and she didn’t like it. She was so sick and tired of people assuming things about her, and before now, the only thing holding her back from jumping off the Astronomy Tower was her family and friends. Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs were so happy with their twin children, not to mention busy as well. They barely ever had enough time to really talk to Ezzie anymore. Then there was her mother. Elena Mendez had officially taken Septimus on as her new favorite daughter. The two did everything together, constantly leaving Ezzie alone. And then of course, was Casey and Carson. Casey hated her now, and Carson was merely siding with Casey because they were dating. There was simply no room for Ezzie anywhere.

“Yeah, I do know. But if you really want to know, I don’t believe a word those magazines say about that Jacobs kid. He died because he got shot. Not because his ex-girlfriend killed him. Although, if you did, I’ve got to say that’s pretty hot. He smiled flirtatiously and leaned in close to Ezzie. She raised her hand and pushed him softly backward. “God, you don’t honestly think I’m that easy, do you? How old are you anyway?” Ezzie gave him a small look of slight disgust. But her smile gave her away. T.J. had that odd kind of irresistible charm that Ethan used to have. It was that kind of dangerous charm that kept Ezzie hooked. Like moths to a flame…Ezzie could only hope that T.J. wasn’t as good at capturing Ezzie’s heart as Ethan was. Otherwise, Ezzie would have a real problem on her hands.

“Chill out. I’m only seventeen. I quit Hogwarts in my third year to go on tour with Romanticide. Looks like someone’s a little on edge. You know what you need?” He said with a mischievous smirk, reaching into the pocket of his leather jacket. She eyed his hand suspiciously as he dug into his pocket.

“What do I need, Turner?” She challenged, her mood lightening only the slightest. He took out a small plastic bag and even through the darkness of the alley, Ezzie could see what was inside. Her jaw dropped.

“You, my friend, need a joint. They’re great, trust me. I know everyone thinks they’re bad and all, but if you need an escape, all you have to do is get one of these babies. It’s the answer to all your problems.” Ezzie glared at him. She had heard about drugs. They weren’t healthy, nor were they smart. They were the start of serious mental and health problems, or so she heard. The church that Ezzie used to stay at used to teach kids to stay away from drugs and to always walk away from a situation like this. But T.J.’s words got Ezzie thinking. What if it was the answer to all her problems? T.J. was in constant spotlight, just like her. But it never seemed to bother him. Maybe this was the reason. And besides, she’d only have one. What could one little joint hurt? “Fine. Pass me one.” She said stiffly, holding out a slightly shaky hand.

[Esmeralda Mendez]

T.J. smiled wickedly when Ezzie hastily took his offering. Ezzie glanced at him slightly with a worried expression, almost afraid to take it. There was a battle going on inside her head, and even before it was over, she knew who would eventually be the winner of the mental war. It was an angel versus devil fight, and the devil was currently tying up the angel and beating her with a stick. Ezzie would have laughed at the mental picture, had it not been for the fact that she was holding the lit joint hesitantly. She knew how to do it, for she had seen many people, including this T.J. Turner guy do it before. It was just will power. Ezzie still wasn’t sure if she was ready to do this. But then the devil; who was standing on top of the angel triumphantly crushing her wings with her high heeled red boots, told her to go for it. Take it Ezzie, it will help bring you the peace you’ve been so desperately craving ever since Ethan’s funeral… said the devil Ezzie, who was dancing around her head. Ezzie’s angel, who had been protesting for the past minute or so, lay unconscious somewhere in the dark corners of Ezzie’s mind.

“Well you cant get high just holding it, Ezzie! Go on, take a drag. Just little is all it takes. Ezzie glanced up at T.J. and down at her hands. T.J. was looking down at her expectantly. Ezzie really did want to finally feel a sense of peace. She had been so on edge lately, she needed a break. Ezzie took a deep breath and brought the joint slowly to her lips. She held it there and took a long drag. T.J. chuckled. “Not bad for your first time. Just try not to swallow the thing whole, you might choke.” He added with a hearty chuckle. She rolled her eyes at him, but giggled in spite of herself. She took another and another and before Ezzie knew it, she didn’t feel like herself anymore. She felt quite a bit dizzy and just a bit queasy, but it felt good. She felt like she was in heaven. The colors seemed to be melting in with one another, and nothing seemed quite as clear as it was just moments ago. Her brain began to fog up and the sharp edges of her past seemed to soften and eventually vanish temporarily from her mind.

Ezzie’s little angel sat in the corner of her mind, tied up and helpless. She shook her head sadly, wondering why she had let the devil win the battle once again, just like it had been winning for the last two months or so. The little devil Ezzie laughed cruelly and sat with a bag full of popcorn watching Ezzie intently from her position on Ezzie’s right shoulder. Ezzie started to giggle even more. She felt like she was in a completely different world. She felt like she was in a world where there was only her and T.J. Ethan never existed and never died. Her mother never returned and she was never poor, rich, nor famous. She was just there and alive, and that was all that mattered. But that feeling left quite an emptiness. She felt boredom overcome her. Ezzie wanted to get out there and have some fun with the rest of her day.

“C’mon T.J! Let’s go to the Three Bed knobs!” Ezzie cried out excitedly, pulling on T.J’s sleeve. He laughed. “You see, I knew I could make a party girl out of you.” He stated proudly. It was almost as if Ezzie was his painting, and he was now showing off his masterpiece to the public. Ezzie merely waved the thought away with a shake of her head and a wave of the hand. “Oh, silly T.J! I was a party girl all along. Now let’s go have some FUN!” Ezzie stumbled a bit as she walked, but T.J. caught her, laughing. Suddenly, Ezzie winced as she was immediately greeted by a huge crowd of excited reporters. Normally, Ezzie would have fled for cover. Seeing Ezzie hanging on T.J. Turner’s arm just months after Ethan’s death after she was believed to have killed him would make for a great cover story. This was something these reporters obviously figured out, for they were more excited than ever to get to the front of the crowd.

“Ezzie! Ezzie! Are you and T.J. dating? What about Ethan? How do you think he would feel about seeing you like this?” Cried one as a Quick-Quotes-Quill hovered near her.

“Are the rumours about your eating disorder true, Miss Mendez? How do you explain such an extreme weight loss?” Yelled another as a magical microphone was shoved in her face. Ezzie merely burst out laughing.

“Hey, you wanna know a secret, guys?” Ezzie cried out. The crowd immediately responded with a wave of loud yes’s. “I HATE MAGAZINES! I HATE THE MEDIA! AND GUESS WHAT ELSE, GUYS? I HATE MY LIFE! And do you know why I hate my life? BECAUSE OF YOU DAMN PAPPARAZZI! And to answer ALL of your questions, NO! I am NOT dating TJ, but I might, and I think Ethan would be PROUD I’ve found my peace!” Ezzie screamed to the crowd of reporters. The magical quills scribbled on the notepads at the speed of light. One of them even broke from all the writing it was doing.

“And YES! IT’S BLOODY TRUE! I HAVEN’T EATEN IN MORE THAN TWO WEEKS! WANNA KNOW WHY? BECAUSE EVERYONE BLOODY HATES ME! SO THERE’S YOUR DAMN STORY!” Ezzie called out once more. She turned on her heel. “So T.J, you coming, or you gunna hang around these leaches the rest of the day?” Everyone was in a state of shock. They stood with their mouths hung wide open for a moment but the second Ezzie turned around, time began once more and they took about a million pictures per second and fired more questions at an even faster rate. Ezzie merely rolled her eyes and walked off to the Shrieking Shack, not caring whether T.J. was following or not.

[Esmeralda Mendez]

“Hey Ezzie, wait up!” T.J. called out. Ezzie turned around and flashed T.J. a wide grin. Even though Ezzie had only known the guy for an hour or so, she felt like she could trust him. He was going through the same things Ezzie was going through and he actually knew how to handle them. T.J. had that ever so admirable carefree air to him. He simply could care less about what people said about him, and she admired that about him. She didn’t know how he did it. While Ezzie liked to think she tried hard to ignore the taunts and dirty remarks sent her way, it was hard to when you were at school. She lived with most of these kids. They would be there wherever she went, no matter where she went. She hated that fact, but she knew it was true. She either had to learn how to ignore the comments and not let them affect her like T.J. did, or simply wait for them to stop. Sure it seemed simple, but things like this were definitely easier said than done.

“That was a pretty bold thing you did there, Ezzie. I’m glad you did it. The man needs to know who’s in control, and you showed them just that. I’m proud of you, squirt. Although, I daresay it must have been an effect of your little high. You’re quite cute when you’re like this, actually. It’s a different side of you. A side that’s not completely against the world, only against those who are against her. Wow, that was a poetic moment.” T.J. added with a small laugh and a long drag. Ezzie lit another one and took a long drag of hers, making her feel a slight bit dizzy again. But Ezzie liked the sensation. It made her feel free and wonderful. When she was at school or at work in the studio, she felt chained to everyday life. There was no escape, no way out. But this was the way out. Ezzie now knew that suicide couldn’t possibly be the answer. So far, Ezzie couldn’t see what was so bad about drugs. In fact, they seemed great to her.

“The man?” Ezzie asked skeptically, raising her eyebrow as she let out a huge puff of smoke. She’d heard the term used a few times before, but never really knew the actual meaning of it. T.J. chuckled. “It means those in power. Your professors, the media, and even your parents. That’s the man.” Ezzie nodded, understanding what he meant. Ezzie was a strong minded individual with her own opinion and way of doing things. She didn’t want to be bossed around by her agent and professors anymore. She was sick and tired of it. She hated always doing what was good for her academics or her career. Maybe she’d quit school like T.J. and just spend the school years on tour or working on an album full time. She hated being locked up in Hogwarts with all those cruel students and judgmental professors. If she stayed there much longer, she’d probably explode.

“I see.” Ezzie said simply as they approached the Shrieking Shack. T.J. helped Ezzie hop over the fence and onto the grounds around the haunted home. They trudged up a large damp hill (as the snow all around Hogwarts and Hogsmeade was just starting to melt) up to the shack, where they pushed the door open. Finally, Ezzie would be allowed some privacy with her new friend. Actually, T.J. was probably her only friend. Casey hated her and Carson merely pitied her. T.J. was actually there for her. He supported her more in two hours than Casey had in the past two months. All he did was listen. He didn’t judge or say what Ezzie was doing was wrong like Casey did. He didn’t say she had an eating disorder and was endangering her life like most did. He was just there to help Ezzie. That’s all she’d ever wanted, and T.J. was the only one yet to grant that simple wish for her.

“So did you mean what you said about considering dating me?” Ezzie’s little mental angel broke free from her ropes and took her original position back on Ezzie’s left shoulder. No, Ezzie! He’s trouble! Shove those little drugs in his face and go back to school! You don’t need this guy! The angel Ezzie called out to her in a small voice barely above a whisper. Suddenly, hearing the angel’s voice, the devil Ezzie advanced on the angel once more. As they were fighting, Ezzie decided it probably wouldn’t be wise to let her shoulder people come to a decision before acting.

“I said I might. So don’t get your hopes up, Turner. Now do you mind taking me back to the carriages? I don’t want the press to see me again. I’ve already made such a fool out of myself.” Ezzie giggled, feeling the room start to spin. The colors were still mixing with one another and the room still seemed to be melting, but she was finally coming back into her right mind again. She just wanted to go back to her dorm and take a nice long nap. “Alright, c’mon. I know a way.” He said with a wink. She smiled and he led her to the carriages once more. Once they arrived, T.J. hugged her goodbye.

“It’s been nice seeing you, Ezzie. I’ll be in that same alley every Saturday in case you ever want to see me again. But until then, take this-“ He handed her that plastic bag he had pulled out earlier. “I have a feeling you’re going to need it.” He said with a wink. She laughed a bit. “Thanks. And you can count on seeing me again.” Ezzie smiled and with that, she hopped back into her carriage and back to the school. She had forgotten all about her therapy, but Ezzie had a feeling she had all the therapy she’d ever need in that little plastic bag.

[[END.]]