Runaway ((Closed))

[Harmony Chan H6]

Harmony felt the tears leaving her face, flying off as she ran blindly down the road. She couldn’t stop them; she didn’t really want to. Cars whizzed by, unaware of her plight. Perhaps if she ran faster, her demons wouldn’t catch up to her, wouldn’t trap her and bring her home again. If she ran faster, she could get away from it all. Harmony passed several familiar places, but continued onwards, saw several curious and startled faces as she sprinted past passer bys.

Harmony stopped, wobbling unsteadily as she approached the local school which she and Ariane had attended when they had arrived in England. Harmony had gone here for almost four years, where she spent innocent, rather blissful and unafraid years playing with friends that she had not managed to keep in contact with. Everyone had left her. “Damnit, how could you leave me too, Mum?!”” Harmony suddenly looked up and screamed at the sky, wishing it would bleed like her. Wishing, like Ari always did, for it to rain, drench her and wash away the pain. Bring the salvation. Tears streamed down her pale face to compensate for the lack of rainwater, but it did nothing to soothe Harmony. Rather, it spurred on her grief even more. Tears seeping onto her shirt, she ignored the damp feeling against her chest and collapsed into an area of bushes she used to play in when she was little. Each brush of a leaf brought back memories of her childhood spent here, in London. Each twig that snapped beneath her feet echoed her throbbing pain.

Harmony’s body was frozen with the continuous running. Her limbs were on fire, her breathing so harried she could barely inhale enough oxygen. Lying on the floor, ferns pressing in around her relentlessly, yet gently, their leafy green spines touching her cold skin, Harmony closed her eyes and sobbed to herself, grief so consuming it felt more numb than painful. She drew up her legs with her arms, wrapping herself into a small ball and curling up for defence against… against this. It was the only way Harmony knew how to shield herself. She supposed that Ariane the protector wasn’t going to be doing much protecting for a long time. And why should she, Harmony questioned herself? It was never Ari’s job to look after her, this burdensome little creature. Harmony was nothing but trouble, and Ari already had enough to deal with. How could she selfishly expect Ari to do everything for her, carry everything for her? Harmony had, for a long time, wished Ariane would actually leave her alone for a change, give her a chance to prove to the world that she could stand on her own two feet. But it seemed the moment God gave her this opportunity, Harmony couldn’t do it. It was too much for her to bear.

Pathetic. Useless. Worthless. Negative thoughts filled Harmony’s mind as more tears streamed down her nose, dripping onto her bare hands that trembled from exhaustion. Why was life so cruel? Harmony and her family had been given a fresh chance at happiness, and it was ruined again. It had all fallen down right in front of her face, all torn to pieces. Harmony and Ari would have to rebuild happiness from the very start again. It was back to the first box, back to scratch. But was it worth trying all over again, Harmony asked herself. What if they managed to find happiness, but have it all ripped away this painfully all over again? Why try? Why keep going? What if the heartache just followed her wherever she went? Harmony pushed her head against her legs, as if she didn’t want the sky to look down at her weeping form. Why should she bother with life anymore? There was nothing left to reach for anymore, because there truly was nothing left.

[Harmony Chan H6]

Maybe Ari was right. Maybe it was all her father’s fault. Maybe he was an evil man. For a long time, Harmony had been telling herself that her Dad was a good person. After all, he had married a beautiful woman like their mother, and their mother had good taste, right? A beautiful woman for a wonderful man. Henry had been very good to them when Harmony was a young child, and they were anything but a happy, contented family. So what had happened to change everything? They had been living such a happy, amazing, fantastic life, just the four of them. Harmony felt bitterness rise in her chest, but swallowed it down immediately. No, she would not be swallowed up by the same feelings Ari had often succumbed to. She was stronger in this sense, and Harmony knew it. She had to find some shred of goodness in Henry Chan. If Harmony could find some goodness in everyone, why not her own flesh and blood?

“He’s a good man… He’s a good man…” Harmony repeated to herself in a strangled voice, tears continuing to fall into her lap, soaked up by her jeans and shirt as if attempting to stem blood flow. “He loved me… He loves me…” Sniff. Sob. Choke. “He didn’t do it… He didn’t do it!” Shuddering and shaking, Harmony’s mantra repeated itself over and over again, until she thought she almost believed it. “Life is great, Mum’s not dead, life is great!” Harmony gave a sharp scream, muffled by her bowed head, as another torrent of unstoppable tears cascaded down her pale face. Her incessant words lapsed into the same sorrowful choking and sobbing, giving up on trying to convince herself of things that were barely true. “It’s just not true, is it?” Harmony asked herself, almost half laughing at her insanity. Was she going crazy? Here she was, chatting to herself, repeating false facts so she could believe them, crying and weeping her little heart out alone in a… bunch of weeds.

“Harmony?”

A soft, concerned voice suddenly broke Harmony’s trance, and shooting upwards, untangling herself from her tight bundle, Harmony stared up at the newcomer in absolute horror, glassy eyes barely registering who it was, arms flailing before her in weak defence. “No, go away! Stay away from me!” She struggled to propel herself backwards, away from this person. “No, please don’t kill me too! I’ve been a good girl! Please don’t hurt me anymore, Daddy, please!” Harmony broke into wracked sobbing again as she lay on the grassy ground, hands hiding her distraught and frightened face.

[Harmony Chan H6]

“Harmony? Harmony!”

Strong, firm hands shook her shoulders, causing Harmony to return to the call of her name slowly. Her rocking was stabilised, her heaving chest slowed gradually. Tears managed to stop leaking for a couple of minutes, enough for her to be sensible and calm. Harmony realised with a jolt that the voice calling her was not whom she had thought it belonged too, though it still sounded recognisable. Finally, her blurry, unfocused and teary eyes landed on a familiar figure, but it wasn’t her father at all. It was her Year Five teacher from primary school, Miss Johnson. Or now, Mrs Davidson, since she had gotten married two years ago. Pale brown hair hung from the young teacher’s face, green eyes full of concern for her old student. Harmony blinked a few times, before coming to her senses, her hands trembling uncontrollably. “M-Miss Johnson?”

Alice Davidson smiled. Harmony still hadn’t gotten out of the habit of calling her by her old surname, but she didn’t mind. Many pupils still did it. She had come outside during her lunch hour for some much needed fresh air and sunshine, when she had heard Harmony’s echoing cries, and came over to inspect what was going on. Her surprise at finding her old student, especially in this state of mind, was if anything, shocking to her. Harmony, when she had taught the young girl five years ago, was a quiet, sweet individual. Very unlike her older sister, she was always polite and friendly, and forever had a cute smile on her face. Harmony never got depressed or sad, and she was always calm and in control. Never had Alice seen Harmony like this, so heartbroken and upset. Having heard the younger girl call her “Daddy”, Alice realised that Harmony was having family related problems. She remembered back when she taught Harmony, the little girl had told her on Father’s Day, when everyone was making cards for their fathers, that her father was far, far away, a man whom she would never ever see again. Harmony had seemed, at the time, fine with the idea. Almost pleased. But Alice had always noticed a sadness when Harmony talked about her nonexistent father.

“Yeah, it’s me, Harmony.” Alice smiled softly, bending down properly to look the girl in the eyes steadily. “What’s wrong, Harmony? Are you okay?” She frowned in concern, holding onto Harmony gently and carefully. It was although the child would break into pieces in her arms any moment, like a fragile porcelain doll. Maybe it was too late already.

“E-Everything’s wrong, Miss Johnson!” Harmony sobbed now, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks again. She buried her head in her lap in shame, not wanting to show such weakness in front of an adult like her teacher. But although Harmony did not want Miss Johnson to see her like this, she needed to talk to someone, needed to spill the truth everywhere and get it off her chest. Harmony had always trusted Miss Johnson. Throughout her short primary school years in England, Miss Johnson had been her favourite teacher of all time. She had always been nice, understanding and friendly, and Harmony had been welcomed into the class with open arms at a difficult time of her life. She would forever be grateful to Miss Johnson, hence why every summer when she returned “home”, she would visit the primary school teacher at the school, to say hello again.

“Life hates me! It hates me so much it seems to want to punish me over and over again!” Harmony choked, struggling to wipe away her falling tears. “Why me, Miss Johnson? Why me?” It’s not like Harmony expected a correct, straight answer from her old teacher. After all, this was a rhetorical question, right? “Everything always has to go wrong…”

“I’m listening.” Alice made herself as comfortable as possible as she settled down on the ground beside Harmony, concern written through her eyes. “Tell me everything, Harmony.” And so, everything just spilled out.

[Harmony Chan H6]

Once Harmony had finished talking in a choked voice, Alice regarded her old student thoughtfully. The poor thing had certainly been through a lot. It was amazing how she managed to get through so much of her childhood unscathed, always able to brave days with a bright, happy smile. She suddenly understood Ariane’s cold behaviour, and didn’t blame the girl for it either. Who could, with a past like that? Thankfully, Harmony had stopped crying now, much more calmer and level-headed than before. Talking about it all had forced her to see that she couldn’t keep weeping, it didn’t really help. Harmony knew it wasn’t like her to break down suddenly like that either, but it had never happened before, and she felt she had enough reason to have done it. She promised herself inwardly not to let it happen again anytime soon, and resolved to continue being strong. Everyone was allowed to be weak. Everyone was allowed to fall down every now and again.

“I’m sorry, Harmony.” Alice spoke after a moment. Twittering of birds shattered any silence between them. “You’ve been through a terrible ordeal, and I’m not saying you will recover from it, but… You’ll learn to live with it. You’ll get over it, and although you’ll remember the pain, you will find happiness in the future again. I know you’re strong enough for that.” She smiled supportively at the teenage girl. “You may not believe you’re that strong, but trust me, you can do it. As long as you believe in yourself, you can! And no one said you had to do it alone. You have your sister, and your cousin… and your cousin’s family. They’re all behind you. You might feel lonely right now, as if no one understands you, but you’ll come to realise that even if that’s true, they’re here for you, ready to help you. Maybe Ariane herself isn’t quite ready herself yet, but neither are you, obviously, so give her a bit of time and space. She’ll come round eventually, and you two can help lean on one another. You’re lucky you have a sister like her, Harmony.” Alice smiled kindly, knowing a little how it was to feel alone. She had been an only child, and her childhood had been filled with her playing by herself in the corner of the room.

“It’s painful, Harmony.” Alice spoke slowly, trying to pick her advice as carefully as possible. “It is. When you lose a loved one. My dad passed away with cancer only last year.” Harmony’s head shot up, eyes wide in surprise at this piece of information. Miss Johnson had never mentioned it to her before. “Yeah.” Alice, seeing Harmony’s revelation, smiled wryly, “It was his time to go. And it broke my heart, it really did. But you have to accept it and move on, right? Because life keeps going on, the earth keeps spinning without you. It doesn’t wait for us, Harmony. So… once you’ve mourned enough, you pick yourself off the ground, and smile in the face of adversity. It hurts, it always will, but day by day the pain fades away a little bit more. You’ll come to remember your loved ones with fond memories and thoughts.” Alice smiled as she recalled her own father. “It’s almost bittersweet.”

“Sometimes, my dad comes and visits me in my dreams.” Alice’s voice was suddenly very soft and quiet, so much so that Harmony had to prick her ears to hear every word clearly. “And I hug him and it’s almost as though he’s there with me.” She chuckled to herself, and Harmony could see the sadness reflected in her teacher’s eyes. “I wake up and he’s gone though. I miss him loads. But I know that everyone has to leave one day. And I have my other loved ones to tend to, to love, and for them to love me. I can’t abandon them, or forget them. They’re still in my life, and that’s all that should matter now.” Suddenly, Alice Davidson’s eyes twinkled in glee, and glanced up at Harmony with an excited smile. “And guess what? I’m pregnant!”

Harmony’s eyes widened even more, and slowly, a large grin that mirrored her teacher’s spread across her face. “That’s… that’s wonderful, Miss Johnson. It really is.” Harmony nodded, fresh tears springing to her already puffy red eyes. “That’s really lovely. Congratulations!”

“Thank you, dear.” Alice smiled warmly in return, eyes flickering down to her already growing belly, which had gone unnoticed by Harmony in her sorrow. “I’m five months on already. My husband and I are ecstatic.” She beamed fully, white teeth gleaming across at Harmony. “Life goes around and comes around. Enjoy it while it lasts, Harmony. That’s my honest advice to you.”

It took several minutes for Harmony to finally speak again as the two women sat still on the floor, as she was wiping her eyes thoroughly with her damp sleeve. Finally ready, Harmony looked up again with a grateful and determined expression on her pale face, fists clenched in resolve. “Thank you, Miss Johnson. Thank you so much for your support and advice. You’re right.” Harmony smiled. “I can do this.” Standing up steadily, she helped her old teacher to herself feet, and looked up at her with tearless eyes. “I can do this.”

Alice smiled in return, and nodded encouragingly. “I know you can, Harmony.”

“Thank you again.” Harmony spoke as she turned to leave, ready to make her way home again.

“It was my pleasure.” Alice nodded, folding her arms across her chest with an unfading smile.

“And I wish you and your baby a really happy life! I’ll come visit soon! Bye!” Harmony grinned, laughing, before turning on her heel and running away back in the direction she had come from, smiling into the sun’s rays pouring onto her face and lighting it up. ”I can do this!”