The Day I Lost You ((Edward))

[Katherine Newcombe H4]

Katie bit her lip as she opened her journal slowly, hoping that the previous entries she had written were no longer there. She would’ve given anything for the words of pain and grief to be written in another book, belonging to another person, but when she opened her beaten diary, every word was still there. Lifting her quill, she began to write about what had happened that day, including every word and action of hers, and was almost comforted by the familiarity of it. Whatever happened, she could at least rely on this book to offer constant companionship. It contained all her secret thoughts and dreams, and more recently her hidden longings, and found solutions in her scrawled notations. Here was one that would never betray her, but also one who never could.

Even as the courtyard rang with excited students, Katie couldn’t help but feel lonely. In her four years at Hogwarts she had yet to meet someone she could call a friend. She had met new people, more notably Seth, an older Hufflepuff who had helped her when she had fallen asleep in the snow the previous year, but she knew it would be presumptuous to call any of them friends. They were people she liked and admired, but not ones she felt comfortable confiding in yet. The sun was beginning to fade, and Katie watched as the last few students left the Courtyard for dinner. It wasn’t long until she was alone once more, and she celebrated by lying down on the cold bench. She knew it was her own fault for not having a group of friends around her, but her shyness and determination to face the world alone made it hard to become close to people, even when she tried to become more open. Now, with her newfound knowledge of her parents’ death, she was sure that it would take more time than she had originally thought to reverse what she had become.

I sung again today.

The sentence made her pause, and she felt uneasy as she stared at it. Her mother had taught her to sing, and it was a favourite activity for both of them, however after Lilly had left her, Katie had refused to even write another song. It wasn’t until she had known the truth about her parents that she had felt she could start again, even if it was purely for the memory of her dear mother, but it still made her uncomfortable. In many ways it felt as if she were forgetting her parents if she went back to the person she was, doing the things she once did. The finality of the knowledge of their death had completely shattered her, and made it even harder to simply sustain life without them.

The words flew freely from her hand to the parchment as she recounted every emotion she had felt that day. Katie had sent the letter her mother had written to her sisters, and was eager to hear their reply. She hoped that they would be stronger than she was, continuing to be the carefree, happy young girls they and always been, and treat the letter only as proof of their parents love and acceptance of them. As she reached the last page of her journal, Katie stopped and rubbed her hand. It was strange how seven pages could be filled with only several of her thoughts and feelings, and a sad smile tugged at her lips. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t adjust her thoughts from her family. Their images haunted her at night, and she could almost hear their voices whispering to her when she was awake. She couldn’t escape her grief. It had consumed her, and try as she may she couldn’t hide from it. It was strange; she hadn’t seen them in years, yet it was only now that she was being affected by it. Perhaps it was because she finally knew what had happened, and was no longer living with a sense of hope, but Katie knew if she didn’t awake soon from the terrible nightmare that had become her life, she never would.

“And so with these three words.” The soft song leapt from her mouth, and Katie enjoyed the sound of her voice in the empty courtyard. She no longer considered herself a singer, but she wished to find her mother in the otherwise hollow words. It was the only relief she had, and she was willing to hold onto it. Katie knew that to others she may seem to be overreacting, and that her grief was unsubstantiated, but she couldn’t find a way to appear as if it did not affect her. Try as she may, her eyes still remained dead. Nothing interested her except these few brief moments to herself, and until she had torn away the grip her sadness had over her, she would continue to enjoy it.

Her song soon finished, so to avoid the absence of her mother, she began to sing again. The songs overlapped each other until they were no longer songs but painful medleys, and at last she ceased with a defeated sigh. No amount of singing would bring her mother or father back, she scolded herself. Instead, it only brought her further away from everyone else, and while she still had her responsibilities with her sisters, she couldn’t allow that to happen. Forgetting her grief, Katie stood and strode towards the Great Hall, determined to find someone to share her meal with. For the time being, she was going to forget about her parents, her family and her life, and just pretend to be a normal student. It wasn’t until she had nearly collided with someone that she realised that she hadn’t been alone in the Courtyard after all. Katie’s cheeks began to burn as she offered her awkward apologies, and tried to cover her embarrassment. She wasn’t ready to sing in front of someone yet; and while she didn’t know how long they had been there, she wasn’t willing to take the chance of them recognising her.
“Excuse me,” she muttered as she made her way towards the exit, trying to cover her face with her hands.

[Edward Kent S5]

Edward breathed a sigh of relief as he marched out of the classroom, rolling his eyes at a younger student who darted away from him nervously. If his classroom hadn’t been filled with such incompetent, uneducated twits, he wouldn’t have needed to treat them as such. Allowing his air to become imposing, he strode confidently through the halls. It wasn’t surprising that he was greatly revered and respected throughout the school; with his family history and lineage, natural intelligence and class, he easily won others over, while still being the object of wary glances. He had never found it hard to convince younger students that his formidable reputation as someone not to be crossed was exaggerated, for them only to find later they were merely a part of a larger plan of his. Friends didn’t interest Edward; associates did. There was nothing that a friend could provide that Edward couldn’t himself, and he didn’t feel the natural yearning for a close companion. Such sentiments annoyed him.

A few young Hufflepuffs eyed him suspiciously as he walked past, but Edward only returned with a small smile. He felt immediately gratified by their perplexed expressions, and congratulated himself. The next time he came across them, they would return his smile with a hesitant one of their own, appreciating his friendliness, and soon he would have three new, loyal subjects. Edward’s lips curled into a satisfied smile, and he felt a rush of pride wash over him. If there was one thing he was willing to be thankful of his father for, it was his work ethic: manipulation is all you need. Forget love; greed made the world go around, and Edward would not be content until that greedy, selfish world was his.

It wasn’t long until he was facing the courtyard, and Edward breathed the fresh air in appreciation. With the support of his mother, Edward has learnt from a young age to love the outdoors, and admired the freshly fallen snow on the crisp blooms contentedly. His favourite time of the year was in early spring when most of the flowers had blossomed, leaving only a few buds still to come. His anticipation for those young, defenseless buds to become beautiful roses with dangerous thorns inspired him to create more plans to unfold as such. A few students had left as he arrived, and soon his only companion was a young girl. She appeared completely lost in her own world as she wrote, so Edward ignored her in favour of his homework. He flipped through his Herbology textbook until he found the correct page, and began reading. It was fascinating. When at last he peeked from behind the page, he was surprised to find the sun had faded, leaving him and the girl alone in darkness. It would’ve been a pleasant darkness too, in his opinion, if the girl hadn’t decided to start singing.

The singing itself was not objectionable, but the song was so slow and depressing that Edward found it hard to concentrate. Casting a disapproving glance her way, Edward found his gaze lingering on her for longer than he intended. She was crying, and he found her tears infuriating and pathetic. What was it about young girls that had them crying whenever things didn’t go their way? The few times when life hadn’t gone to plan, Edward had just incorporated the new events to make his plan better. It wasn’t a difficult concept: you used what you had to make your life brilliant. If he had started crying when his father had betrayed them, Edward wouldn’t have been responsible for destroying his entire empire, which was one of his proudest moments. Edward was aware that in acting as such he was conforming to the stereotype of a Slytherin, but he also knew his methods were far more sophisticated than his peers. The loud sound of sniffing broke him from his egotistical thoughts, and Edward sighed loudly. It would be impossible to convince her to cease her pitiful crying, so he stood and began to move from the courtyard, only to be struck by something.

Turning his fearsome glare to the perpetrator, he widened his eyes as he noticed it was the girl. Her Hufflepuff robes twisted in the wind, and he gave a wolfish smile. If he wasn’t careful, he would soon have a Hufflepuff army standing behind him. His father would be so proud.
“No, my dear girl, it is I who should be apologising,” he said, changing his expression from fierce to gentle. It was obvious the girl was embarrassed, and he quickly identified why.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to disturb you. I came in to do some homework, and when I heard you singing, I assumed you wanted to be alone. It was my plan to leave quietly, but as you can see, I wasn’t entirely successful,” he laughed softly, his now kind eyes soothing her fears. Every move of his was calculated, and he performed them perfectly. Almost as if he were dancing, he watched himself as he stepped forward and speak to the girl as if she were a child. Her wide eyes gave away her fear, and Edward pounced.
“You have a beautiful singing voice,” he said softly, wringing his hands so as to appear also nervous at their awkward confrontation. With each word, he felt the uncomfortable atmosphere fade away, and silently invited her to join his charade. When she put her hands over her face, he took them tenderly in his own and smiled at her, enjoying his little game. Perhaps she would be a worthy support when he thought of a new, exciting scheme, but for now she was simply fun.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name. I’m Edward. Please, don’t go.”

[Katherine Newcombe H4]

Katie blinked in surprise at the older boy’s gentle nature, and found herself giving a small, shy smile. It was unusual for someone other than her family to be interested in what she was doing, or how she felt, so she approached the situation with relative discomfort. Her suspicions flared immediately when he mentioned her singing, and she felt her cheeks beginning to burn.
“I didn’t realise you were there. I’m sorry to have disturbed you,” she said, unable to determine whether he was being sincere or not. It was obvious that he was of the highest class, but Katie also knew that he was a Slytherin. Slytherins were not renowned for being particularly friendly to younger Hufflepuffs without a reason. Unfortunately, those reasons were often exploitation or sadistic enjoyment, and Katie had no intention of being another victim of their cruel games. She listened warily to the boy, who later confirmed himself as Edward, and felt her will begin to resolve. If he was lying, he certainly was convincing. And what could be possibly gain by doing so? She was a fourth year Hufflepuff; hardly an ideal target. There were plenty of other students who would be more worthwhile to trick. Then why is he talking to me? Katie asked herself.
“Um, I’m Katherine. Katherine Newcombe. It’s nice to meet you, Edward,” she said hesitantly, brushing a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
“I suppose I can stay for a little while longer.” Katie watched him carefully, and soon felt the last of her resistance dissolve. There was something so comforting about his eyes, and Katie decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. She was ashamed at how suspicious and untrusting she had become, and became even more insistent of his innocence. It was because of her nature that she had doubted him, not because of his.

It wasn’t until after she had introduced herself that Katie realised what Edward had said about her. She instantly began feel to feel uncomfortable at his compliments, and brushed them aside with a careless wave.
“Oh, I don’t have a great singing voice. I just do it for fun. It’s sort of something my mother and I did together,” Katie said softly, glancing up at Edward and smiling shyly. It felt strange to just meet someone and have a conversation, and Katie found it oddly exhilarating. For this one evening, she could pretend she was normal.
“So, um, what do you like to do?” She asked, trying to turn the conversation back to him.
Already, she was distracted from her previous mood and thoughts, and Katie was determined to continue to do so. If something as simple as meeting someone new could have such a profound effect, Katie was not going to give it up. Eager to maintain their conversation, she probed him further.
“Do you enjoy music?”

As Katie waited for Edward to reply, she examined him closely. She wasn’t sure what typical Slytherins looked like, but in her mind, Edward indeed looked like one. He was incredibly well groomed, with short black hair that had been neatly brushed back and freshly pressed robes. The only thing that seemed to give him an exciting, dangerous edge were his eyes; they were large and blue, and seemed to know exactly what she was thinking and feeling. It wasn’t a bad thing either, Katie decided, as she narrowed her own eyes to inspect his. They were so kind and honest that she had a hard time believing that he could have a bad thought about anyone, and he only seemed to use them for the benefit of the other person. Her hands felt warm in his, and only then did she realise that she had been holding them for a while. Surprised, she yanked them for his, and felt instantly guilty for doing so. He had only been trying to help her. Touching his arm in an apology, she tried to think of something to say.
“Um, I really enjoy music, drama and writing. I love writing songs. And, like you can probably tell, I enjoy singing them too!” Katie smiled at her effort for a good conversation, and acknowledged to herself that she was in need of some practise.
“What about you?”

Once she had let go of her misgivings, she could admit that there was something intriguing about the boy in front of her. It made her desperate to continue their conversation, and she was willing to speak as much nonsense as necessary to convince him to stay. She gave a small laugh. He was the one who had initially been interested in what she had to say, so she was hardly being bold in speaking to him. As she waited for Edward to reply, Katie realised that while not rude, she could have been friendlier when he initiated the conversation. Blushing, she wrung her hands and smiled shyly.
“If you’d like, you can call me Katie.” With that one simple sentence, she felt herself relax, and waited for his reply with anticipation. She had never felt more accepted or wanted at Hogwarts, and she was beginning to enjoy such lavish attention.

[Edward Kent S5]

As Katherine, or Katie as he would have to remember to refer to her from then on, spoke, Edward smiled encouragingly at her. It hadn’t seemed to have taken very long for her to relax and feel comfortable around him, and Edward was going to use her newfound confidence to his advantage.
“I really like art, too. A few years ago, before I came to Hogwarts, my parents took me to the Louvre. It was amazing to be so close to work that was not only deemed by our culture as a whole as ‘good’, but was also essential in shaping modern art as we know it. The whole concept of art, and what makes it good or bad, is fascinating,” he said, studying Katherine earnestly. She was looking up at him with an expression that was hard to read; she was obviously a reserved girl, but there was something else that was there that made her much more complex than his usual victim. Was it perhaps innocence? If that were so, Edward would have no trouble in manipulating her, building her trust or convincing her that he was worthy of her loyalty. He searched her face for more clues of weakness, however found no more. It bothered him that he had only found innocence; innocence could be feigned so easily, and he was not a fool. As apparent as this fault appeared to him, it was still an assumption, and there was no way he would act on an assumption.

The only times that Edward would act illogically or without thinking first was when there was a higher prize to be won in doing so. Everything he did and said was for a reason, and he did or said nothing without thinking about its consequences and effects first. For example, if he wanted to disarm somebody, he would talk about things that they would consider personal. If he wanted someone to leave him alone, he would say things that made him appear unintelligent and dull. Now, he had to be careful. Although Katherine seemed to be gullible, he could tell she was not an idiot. She may be innocent, but he knew that she had experienced pain. Her reluctance to initiate a conversation and her past behaviour made that plain to see, therefore he knew she was less likely to enter a friendship where she even suspected to be hurt in the future.

“I would love to hear more of your songs. That is, if you don’t mind. It was sad in a haunting kind of way, but it was just so magnetic. And while I understand your modesty, you must know how good a musician you are,” he said, smiling. It seemed that she was most susceptible to praise about her voice, so he continued his soothing commendations.
“It actually reminds me of a muggle singer I know. I can’t recall her name right now, but she put out a record a few years ago that was simply divine. Are you interested in a musical career? If you are, I could organise a meeting with you and a record company. My father is very interested in new talents, and would gladly help you.” At the mere mention of his father, Edward felt his eyes beginning to blaze, but he quickly controlled himself. It was unprofessional to let one’s personal life interfere with business, and as far as Edward was concerned, this meeting was purely business. Why would he want a friendship with a fourth year Hufflepuff? Sure, she was fun, but once the novelty wore off he had much bigger plans for her. A slow smile crossed his face as he thought about the different parts she could play. Perhaps, in her blinding devotion to him, she would take full responsibility should any of his future plans go wrong. Edward frowned. He was far too clever to allow such a thing to happen, but he also knew that for ultimate success, it was essential to plan all possible outcomes carefully. Nothing could be left to chance. Maybe he could use her charming blonde hair and cute brown eyes to befriend his enemies, only then to report all their secrets back to Edward. The possibilities were exciting, but he knew that unless he treated the next few minutes with the utmost care, he would lose it all.

Edward watched every move Katherine made with a distant, cool eye. It was quite obvious she was unused to receiving attention from an attractive older male, and that made his job much easier. In one instant he made the smooth transition from sweet, ultimately harmless acquaintance, to nervous teenage boy. He awkwardly adjusted his robes, and smiled softly at Katherine.
“I was wondering, um, Katie, would you want to have dinner with me sometime? I mean, only if you want to, of course. We could discuss art and music in more detail, and uh, maybe get to know each other a bit better.” Edward lowered his eyes shyly, and stared at the ground. He had thought his options out carefully, and decided this was the best way to go. If she said yes, then she would soon be unable to escape. She would be his. If she said no, she would forever have the guilt of rejecting him, and Edward could use that very easily in getting what he wanted. And he always got what he wanted.