I'll Never Admit I'm Afraid ((AJ))

[Fiona O'Reilly S5]

The night air felt like daggers in her lungs, each new breath seemed to poke new stinging holes in her already sensitive lungs. It wasn’t late…actually rather early in the evening. The sun had already found its way behind the mountains and the stars had lit up the night sky. Here Fiona was…standing outside as if she didn’t know where she was. The fact of the matter was that she did know. It was just before curfew…just before she had to go back inside and down to the Slytherin common room so she wouldn’t get detention or lose her house anymore of the precious points that they needed so bad. The thing was that Fiona had already gone to bed…she had slipped into a deep sleep not long after dinner. She had been in the arms of her beloved, Kennedy, on the couch in the common room. It was there that the dream had afflicted her, the nightmare that threatened to steal everything away from her. She had freaked out, her mind crying at the images. She left Kennedy when she woke up, refusing to let him know about the dream. She didn’t want to worry him and she knew her dream would. Her eyes closed images springing forth to play across her closed lids…

“Fi, you don’t know what you’re doing!” Sean O’Reilly growled as he shook his head at her. His eyes burned with annoyance at his own daughter. She didn’t understand anything. She didn’t understand why he couldn’t be there for her over the past year.

“No, Da! I don’t want to hear it! I’m not leaving him!” she cried in anger, her arms wrapping around Kennedy. Her head going in his chest, but he wasn’t moving. There were no warm arms wrapping around her, protecting her from the pain and suffering that always seemed to surround her. There was no smile, no comfort radiating from Kennedy at that moment. He was just gone…a cold body on the floor wrapped in Fiona’s arms. The tears fell from the eyes, hitting the face of her lover and yet not rousing him from whatever consciousness he was in…especially since that consciousness was death.

Fiona shook her head, willing the images to leave her forever. The dream had been so real. Now thoughts were bombarding her brain over and over again. Maybe she was the one that got Kennedy killed; maybe she was the one that hurt him. The thought terrified her. How could the one man that she loved more than life itself be the man that lay dying in her nightmare? It was almost too much to take as Fiona’s hand went to her stomach, the night’s food trying to work its way up her esophagus and back through her mouth. The burning feeling of acid through the long tunnel made her hold her breath. She had to calm down. She was making herself sick from the images. A tear slid down her cheek as she leaned back against the cool courtyard wall, the stones’ chill slicing through her robes to her bones, making her shiver. It was what she needed. She needed to keep calm and only the cool night air could do that.

Fiona’s body jumped at the sound of someone else. A voice drifting through her ears and making her tear her eyes open, her hand moving to her wand so quickly that it was almost as if it was an inbred reaction, which it practically was after everything that had gone on in her life. She always had to watch her back. Especially since The Chosen was bound and determined to get rid of her. She had shared too much with Kennedy and that had put them both at risk, but she didn’t care anymore. Her relationship with Kennedy meant more to her than the elite group of Slytherins did and she was bound and determined to make sure that Kennedy and she were together forever. Her wand pointed at the shadowed intruder. “Lumos!” she cried as she pointed at the stranger her eyes rolling in annoyance as she realized that it wasn’t anyone she had to fear. She shook her head. “Aye, do you just go sneakin’ up on people like that normally?” she asked her Irish accent coming out a bit thicker than she had intended because of the small scare. She masked it quickly, hating to give away where she was from. It wasn’t right. She didn’t feel safe around people when they knew where she was from. It was her own way of making sure she didn’t have to be afraid of people trying to take her out at her home. She’d gotten that way after her mother’s death and she was planning on staying that way for the rest of her life. “Why don’t you just go on and leave me alone in silence?”

[AJ Murphy G6]

AJ ran his fingers through his hair, struggling to keep himself awake throughout Professor Binns’ history of Magic class. Why did this class have to be so painstakingly dull? He stared out the window, overlooking the courtyard. Half the school had a free period right about now, including the fifth years. Among the many fifth years that had off right now was Rachel Cohen. Rachel was AJ’s girlfriend for the moment, and he couldn’t be happier about that fact. It seemed that Rachel was AJ’s only right choice in his mother’s eyes. Rachel’s mother Kathy had been best friends with AJ’s mother Emily since the beginning of time. Kathy Cohen was like AJ’s aunt. She was constantly over AJ’s house, and they were absolutely delighted when they found out Rachel and AJ were dating. He sighed, remembering the New Year’s celebration. Emily Murphy didn’t exactly seem delighted when she had walked in on the wild house party going on in her basement. AJ bitterly remembered her speech afterwards.

“Andrew James Murphy, I can’t believe you did this! How could you be so stupid?!! I told you no alcohol, and what do I find? I WALK DOWNSTAIRS AND THERE’S ALREADY BEER STAINS ALL OVER MY DAMN CARPET! I told you to watch you’re volume, AND YOU’RE BLASTING THE MUSIC AT MAXIMUM VOLUME! Do you want the police to come knocking down my door? And on top of all that, YOU TAPPED MY HOT CHOCOLATE WITH A SLEEPING POTION? I can’t believe you did this to me, AJ! You’d be lucky if you ever got to go within miles of another party ever again, young man! And I am definitely checking into sending you to that military school this summer!”

AJ smirked. Of course, he didn’t like the idea of being punished, but it had brought him some weird sense of pride to know he’d succeeded in throwing the perfect party. Besides, his mother would probably feel bad after the first week of imprisoning AJ and let him free again. As for military school, he didn’t mind that much. He’d gone for a week or two last summer, and it wasn’t exactly the most enjoyable experience in the world. But, it was only for two weeks. He was sure that if he’d had to stay for any longer, he’d never be able to survive it. AJ sighed with relief as the bell rang to signal the end of class. AJ didn’t know why, but he bolted right out of the room and found himself in the courtyard.

AJ watched as the sun set over the horizon. It was a beautiful sight, but AJ never really did spend much time admiring Mother Nature. It just wasn’t really in his field of interest. Not much was in his field of interest, to be honest. Girls took up a major space in AJ’s field of interest. One girl in particular was Rachel Cohen. Yes, Rachel definitely did take up a large portion of AJ’s interest. It was one of the only choices his mother supported him in. Then came parties. AJ loved to party. He threw parties, he attended parties, and he spent the majority of his holidays at parties. Then there was music and radio. AJ absolutely loved everything to do with the radio. He remembered his primary school back in London. He used to do the morning announcements all the time. By the time AJ turned off the loud-speaker and left the office, he could see dozens of kids on the floor laughing themselves silly. He enjoyed making people laugh. He wasn’t really much of a news reporter, but he loved the lighthearted banter that involved radio talk shows and television interviews. He could imagine meeting glamorous stars like the Weird Sisters and many others. Yes, that would be the day. He couldn’t wait to start his career. All he needed to do was breeze by Hogwarts and then he would be free to do whatever he pleased. After he got himself a job, his mother would get off his case, along with everyone else in his family. But until then, AJ would just have to tough it out at Hogwarts. He couldn’t wait until that day though. He only wished that day would come faster.

AJ wandered the large open area as it started to grow dark outside. He walked around silently, and because of the dark, he found it hard to see. He accidently bumped right into someone in the dark. A girl’s voice yelled ‘Lumos’, and a second later, AJ found a bright light in his face. He lowered the girl’s wand and smirked at her panicked expression. He chuckled. “I didn’t sneak up on you, although I must say, it is one of my favorite hobbies. As for me leaving, don’t count on it. I’m out here for a reason aren’t I?” To be honest, AJ didn’t know why he was here, but this girl had him interested in staying. He had nothing better to do anyway. “The name’s AJ Murphy by the way.” He said, holding out his hand. “And if you could lower your wand, that would be great. You’re blinding me with that thing.”

[Fiona O'Reilly S5]

Fiona glared at the boy in front of her. She couldn’t make out who he was or even what house he was in, but she immediately disliked him. It could have been the smirk on his face, or the fact he had startled her, or maybe it was because he had touched her. Whatever it was Fiona didn’t like him and that immediately put her on edge, not that she wasn’t always on edge or disliking people. She didn’t know why she found herself always on the defense or why she just wanted to be left alone. Truth be told Kennedy was the only one that had ever made her feel comfortable, from the very first moment they met she had been comfortable, it had to be his presence, his aura, but whatever it was this guy in front of her didn’t have it. Fiona glared at the boy when he said he had sneaked up on her. She wasn’t about to admit that he had. Shaking her head she frowned. “You didn’t sneak up on me. I knew you were here the whole time,” she growled a little more insistently than she probably should have been. Instead she just moved her wand up to where it had been earlier before he lowered it. She wasn’t in the mood for patronizing men. They could be so pompous sometimes. The fact was though she was just as arrogant if not more so. She would never admit in a million years that she was frightened in those first few moments that fear of death had washed over her. Not many people would admit they were frightened and she definitely wasn’t one of those people that would. Fiona kept her emotions masked, hidden behind a surface that only several people had ever seen beyond. Maybe it was because she let them, maybe it was because she needed them to see her for who she was, a messed up girl caught up in a world far beyond her own understanding.

When he introduced himself she felt recognition dawn on her. AJ Murphy? That’s right, Gryffindor sixth year, I’ve seen him in class before. Great a Gryffindor… Fiona thought to herself. Not only was there someone interrupting her peace and quiet, but that someone just happened to be a Gryffindor. It wasn’t like she was part of that whole Slytherin/Gryffindor feud, she actually had one of her really good friends end up Gryffindor, but it was the fact that he would be more than obnoxious now. There were only a few people she could stand and a lofty Gryffindor was not one of them. She simply rolled her eyes once again before lowering her wand and extinguishing the light at his prompt. She’d rather have the darkness if he was there. Maybe he’d forget she was even there and leave her in peace. There was a moment of silence as Fiona’s blue/green orbs roamed over his shadowed hand. She wasn’t sure if she should continue the introductions, but at the same time she couldn’t see how this boy could be dangerous. It crossed her mind that maybe he was, but what Gryffindor had ever posed her a threat…Fiona’s mind screamed out at her. Her once innocent thoughts turned instead to her arch-enemy, the one person that had been the cause of more than half her problems over the last three or four years. Fiona forced herself to remember that this boy was not her and finally giving in she took the guy’s hand. “Fiona O’Reilly.” Was it an attempt at friendship? No. Fiona didn’t make friends with people. She had a reputation to upkeep anyway and not only that, but people were inherently bad which meant that somewhere deep inside this guy there was some ulterior motive that he was hiding. The thought itself was kind of disheartening, how much had this girl gone through to believe that no one was good? What was it that had kept her going all these years, especially in a world that was fading quickly into darkness?

Fiona pulled her hand back and crossed her arms over her chest. She was waiting for the guy to leave. He had invaded her privacy, her moment of reflection and he needed to go. There was no forgiveness in Fiona and she couldn’t care less who the guy thought he was. She was annoyed and she wasn’t about to deal any longer with him. Besides that her nightmare was raging its ugly head again in her mind. There were far more important things to be worrying about than a hasty Gryffindor trying to get on her good side, or trying to annoy her even more. Fiona didn’t know why she was like that, hell no one really knew why Fiona was the way she was. Sure there had been family problems, death, curses…everything that seemed to be the short end of the stick, but Fiona was far more acrimonious than she needed to be. Perhaps she was just tired of it all, or maybe she just didn’t care anymore, whatever it was Fiona wanted nothing to do with it. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m neither in the mood for precarious Gryffindors, nor affable conversations. If you could just go back to wandering around in that direction I wouldn’t feel the need to hex you right here. So go run along and play with your wits somewhere else,” Fiona said bitingly as she glared at him waiting for him to leave.