Serenity. (Rachel)

[Olivia Dawson S6]

Olivia walked about the courtyard, twirling the small white cigarette in her fingers. There were people bustling everywhere. As the sound of the start of class bell echoed throughout the courtyard, Olivia saw dozens of kids running to get to their classes. People ran this way and that, scattering in all different directions like mice running from a cat. Olivia walked slowly throughout the courtyard as if she had all week to get to her destination. She brought the cigarette to her bright red lips and inhaled the sweet aroma of the smoke. She opened her mouth and let the smoke erupt out of her mouth in a puff of smoke. Olivia’s lips curled into a smile as she watched the smoke evaporate into the cold January air. Her clear blue eyes swept the scene of the courtyard once more, and she noticed that she was now the only one left.

Her footsteps echoed throughout the area in a rhythmic pattern. Tap, tap, tap. Olivia had a free period, just like all the fifth years at her school. Even though there were plenty of fifth years wandering about the school, she wasn’t surprised she was the only one out here. It was the beginning of January, and the crisp air outside was colder than ever. Anyone who wasn’t rushing to their classes was probably snuggled up in front of a warm fire or in the library catching up on some homework. Not Olivia though. No, Olivia was outside, enjoying the cold mid-winter air. Olivia loved the outdoors. Olivia had received many warnings before by teachers and prefects alike. If she was caught smoking indoors again, she’d be expelled. She wasn’t even supposed to be smoking in the first place, but no one had ever caught her in the act other than her classmates. Olivia’s clothes always carried the faint scent of cigarette smoke, but no teacher had ever seen her with one of those little white sticks. She had been sent to the headmasters office countless times regarding her so called ‘addiction’, but she didn’t care. She was going to do what she wanted to do. Her parents finally understood that concept, and her professors and classmates were beginning to understand as well.

Olivia sat herself down, enjoying the silence and the feeling of the cold air against her pale skin. It had been a few weeks since she had enjoyed a feeling of solitude quite like this. Olivia had agreed to go home for the Winter Holidays, but that was only because of her sister, Elle. If it wasn’t for her, Olivia wouldn’t bother coming back. Sure, Olivia hadn’t spent more than five minutes of her daytime at the Dawson manor, but after a long night of partying and fun, Elle would always be waiting for her. Olivia would get home at two, possibly three in the morning and there she would be. She’d sit herself down on Olivia’s bed amongst all the piles of clothes and schoolbooks and wait. Once Olivia arrived, they’d stay up even later, just talking about their day and what happened.

Elle was only thirteen, but her intelligence was far beyond that. She was a Ravenclaw in her third year, and it was no surprise to Olivia. They’d talk about their parents and complain about their mother, and that’s how the night would end. Elle would fall asleep around four and Olivia would carry her back to her room, just so the wicked witch of London wouldn’t find out Elle was spending time with Olivia. And that was how her holiday ended. Olivia flirted and danced with many boys over that holiday, but none had really caught her attention. Ever since dating Jez Cuthbert, a Gryffindor in the year above, Olivia had mainly stayed away from any kind of serious relationship. He didn’t really hurt her, because Olivia was too strong for that. He just made Olivia realize things aren’t always what they seem. And ever since then, Olivia vowed to take her time before getting into things. Or else she really would get hurt. Suddenly, Olivia felt her ears prickle as she heard footsteps approaching the bench Olivia was sitting at. She exhaled, emitting another puff of smoke from her lungs. She recognized those footsteps. Olivia waited as the footsteps came closer, and eventually stopped right in front of Olivia. “Hello, Rachel.” She said politely to the Ravenclaw, bringing the small white stick to her lips again. A breeze passed by the area, causing the branches on the trees to sway and the jet black strands of Olivia’s new hair to go flying behind her. Her blonde look was getting old, so she decided to change it to black. “Lovely day out, isn’t it?”

[Rachel Cohen R6]

Some maniac tore down the hall knocking into her shoulder and causing her books to fall. They didn’t even stop to help her. How rude it seemed, but Rachel didn’t expect help. She could do without; after all she had so far. Reminders like those weren’t welcomed. It wasn’t exactly the best feeling in the world to know that she had grown up without a father. It was on her mind all the time. Well, it hadn’t been on her mind till lately. Lately she had been thinking about him like crazy. So many thoughts were about him, she had so many questions, so many things she wanted to know. She knew virtually knew nothing. But her mother knew that would have to change someday. Why was she being so tight-lipped about it? She picked up the last book and looked around her. People where sidestepping her still in a rush to get to class.

It was all right. She was in no rush to get to class. Free period was so nice. Normally she would have spent it with AJ. After all this was one of the only times she saw her boyfriend. But today she required some alone time. She wanted to look through her Christmas present again. It had been a gift from AJ; he shouldn’t have given it to her. Not that she didn’t like it, because she loved it but … well there were two reasons. One, it was his birthday, he had been silly and had given her a gift as well, that messed with the order she liked things in. And two, it opened something within her. Making her want to know more about the man in the photographs. More about her father, the man she wouldn’t be able to meet anytime soon since he was dead. Her mother was being awfully secretive as well, so the only thing she had was this scrapbook. This is what her free time was about this week. To learn as much as she about him through pictures, maybe write his old friends that she found in her mother’s address book. Find out what she could, she did have a right to know.

But first she needed to find a place of solitude, a place were she would be able to think, and where no one would be able to find her. Then she looked out the window seeing the courtyard and letting it click in her mind. It was rather perfect. The weather was sure to be freezing, no one would be out there for sure, and anyone who could possibly be looking for would know she wouldn’t head out there. Rachel was very fond of the cold. The only real question was; was it worth freezing her fingers off for? The answer was an obvious yes. With her mind made up she walked towards what she thought was an empty courtyard. As she approached slowly she looked into her bag for the scrapbook. But it wasn’t there. She was now angry at herself for forgetting it upstairs. So much for finding out about her father. She debated whether to go back or not, but a figure convinced her to stay.

The figure was a girl. The girl was Olivia. Olivia was a friend. A familiar face. Well, perhaps friend was too much. Friendly would have been the right thing to call it. But that was all it took for her to decide to become friends with the girl. She walked up to her stopping right in front. She was smoking, but Rachel wasn’t surprised, a few students did, it was customary to see some of them around campus. “Hello Olivia. It is a lovely day.” Rachel replied. Olivia looked different. It was her hair, she dyed it. It still looked nice. “What brings you out here?” She found herself asking.

[Olivia Dawson S6]

Olivia watched the smoke rise up into the pale blue sky with an almost dazed expression. She was almost mesmerized by the smoke that was circulating from the cigarette to her mouth, and back into the air again. Olivia always felt so at peace when she smoked, and this was one of the only reasons she refused to quit. How would she ever achieve such a level of peace again if she quit? She definitely wouldn’t get it from that blasted gum, that’s for sure. Olivia always chewed gum when she had cravings for a cigarette but couldn’t get to one at the moment. It held her cravings at bay, but Olivia would never be able to replace her cigarettes for the gum, it just couldn’t be done. All those times when Olivia just wanted to pull her hair out of frustration she would grab a smoke and all would be fine again. All would be peaceful, as if all the troubles in the world evaporated as the smoke evaporated into the air. All those times when Laura made Olivia want to jump out a window, Olivia would grab a cigarette and she’d feel better again. When she was at a party and just needed some air or time away, she’d walk out and have a smoke with a friend or boyfriend.

Olivia almost laughed at the thought that had just skidded through her mind. Boyfriend. How long had she gone without one of those? Olivia almost laughed at the memories. The last serious relationship Olivia had had was the infamous Jez fling. It wasn’t even serious at all, and yet she called it her most recent ‘serious’ relationship. Olivia had only been going out with Jez for about two weeks before she decided to end it where it was. Now, about three months later, Olivia felt she may have overreacted a little. But, it was too late. There was no turning back now, and she just didn’t have the time, energy or determination to try and get back together with him. He was a Gryffindor that probably didn’t even remember Olivia anymore. Not that she wanted to get back together with Jez. Olivia’s mind was in other places now, and she had moved on to far better people. Places to go. People to see. None of those people being Jez Cuthbert.

And then there were other little flings and crushes littered along the way. During the summer holidays, Olivia had ‘dated’ quite a number of guys from back home in London. One of her most interesting summer flings was a Gryffindor named AJ Murphy. He was quite the interesting boy indeed. Like Jez, AJ Murphy was a sixth year Gryffindor as well. Olivia had wuite a thing for them last summer. The fling with AJ hadn’t lasted more than a few days, as he had randomly decided to start dating some seventh year Gryffindor. Olivia sighed. During the Winter Holidays, Olivia was seen with a different boy each night, and was known as the ‘hot potato’ by many muggle boys in her hometown. She seemed to be passed around like a hot potato, giving her the odd name. Olivia had never gotten very serious with either of those boys, but some said her dancing was a little too close for comfort. But, no one complained about Olivia’s dancing, so she continued on doing what she pleased just as always.

Olivia doubted she’d meet anyone she’d date for more than two weeks, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to stop trying. She’d met a bettery of boys over the past year, the most recent being Wynd Lehane, a snobby Slytherin in her year. Wynd was just like Laura, snobby and judgmental. He would be an okay guy if he wasn’t so hell-bent on killing muggles. Olivia almost rolled her eyes, but then she remembered there was someone sitting next to her. Rachel Cohen probably thought Olivia was high or something, as the dazed look on Olivia’s face was a little odd. She smiled as she inhaled the sweet pacifying smoke. “It was fine I guess. It was interesting to say the least. Many parties.” She said mysteriously, not wanting to give away many details. Rachel and Olivia weren’t very close, so Olivia wasn’t going to burden Rachel with her life’s story or a descriptive summary on her Winter Holiday.

((Hehe. I thought it would be interesting to make Olivia an ex of AJ's. Plotwise, I don't think it's of any importance. He's more than forgotten about Olivia by now. ))

[Rachel Cohen R6]

Can you imagine thinking about the same thing all the time? Could you stand thinking all day about one thing? You could even stand having everything around you remind you of this thing? Now it might be something good, something that makes you very excited, maybe it something your anticipating, your just sitting in class or with your friends wishing for the day to end so you can see your favorite band in concert, or you go on a date with someone you’ve been waiting to go on a date with forever. Then again the thing could be bad. Perhaps it could be anticipation for something that doesn’t make you very happy, like … visiting the dentist, or dinner with you great aunt Clarisse. Maybe you’re not waiting for something at all, but its something that invades your mind every free second of the day. Can you picture this? If you can you may know how Rachel Cohen feels.

You know exactly how she feels as her mind fills up with unwanted memories of her father. Or why she feels frustrated as she begins to write a paper and without realizing it she writes … “Unfortunately I still miss him, why won’t my mind give me peace?” Why she wants to know everything she can. Why she wants all of this to just go away so she could have peace once more. Live her charmed life. And she did have a charmed life. She had an amazing mother who loved her, and sacrificed for her. She had friends who where zany and wild and kept her happy, she was beautiful and confident. She had money and could spend it how she wished. She had everything any girl could possibly wish for. She had even given up her single status. She was dating AJ Murphy and was happy about it. She had everything, everything, then this dam in her mind broke letting everything go. And as much as she wanted to know, she wanted it to stop. She wanted it to return to normal.

But here she was not doing anything about it. Not trying at all to return to normal. What was Rachel doing? She was feeding the fire. She was looking for more information and making more questions take up space in her mind. She was being impossible. She was sabotaging her own efforts to quit this and be normal once more. Maybe it was a good thing she had left the book back at the dorm. This was her chance to return her mind to normal. She would be an idiot if she didn’t jump at the idea. It hadn’t been easy dad proofing her mind before, and might be even harder for her now. If she started this second it might take a few months. But she could return to being the girl she was, couldn’t she? She could still be beautiful, confident; fun Rachel Cohen, that girl still existed right? And that’s what ran through her mind as she was sitting next to Olivia.

The girl seemed to be wrapped up in her own thoughts. Perhaps she too was thinking about her life, and what was wrong with it. But she slowly pulled out of the trance and saw Rachel. “It was fine I guess. It was interesting to say the least. Many parties.” Olivia told Rachel. She wondered what she was talking about. She had what brought Olivia out to the courtyard on such a day. But she seemed to be talking about her vacation instead. “Uhm, that interesting. That was what happened during break I’m guessing.” Rachel said. She didn’t know where to go from there. Maybe she should just sit back and relax.