What's Behind the Mask? ((Aurora))

[Phillip Smith]

It was the middle of the afternoon, and normally Phillip would not have been outside. Phillip didn’t exactly like nature. It was...well it was just dirty. The moment you stepped outside you were susceptible to grass stains and skinned knees and then of course there was the weather that bothered him. It was starting to get cooler, and Phillip had never dealt well with the cold. That would explain why he sat on a bench in the courtyard with his heavy cloak, a pair of gloves, and a scarf on. As bundled up as he was, he still looked good mind you. Phillip always looked good. That was a given. Why he was outside in general was the questionable thing. He had actually walked off outside without really thinking about it. He had been on his way out to the lake, knowing that some of his friends were going to be there, but as he had approached the front entrance he had been surprised by the sight of Constance...and some other guy. Phillip just hadn’t had it in him to walk past them, so he’d turned around before he’d been spotted and headed the other way. He had been so frustrated by the sight of them two that he had just let his feet carry him off, and he had been dressed for the weather so they had just easily led him out to the courtyard. Far away from Constance.

Phillip wasn’t sure why it had always bothered him to see Constance with another guy, when Phillip did the same thing. Phillip was just as bad, if not worse than her. Phillip was always flirting; it was almost his way of just...feeling better about his and Constance’s relationship. It was a defense mechanism you could say. But at the same time, Phillip was insanely guilty about it. He knew that it was all the flirting he did that had divided Constance and him. Perhaps that was why it bothered him so much when he saw Constance with another guy. It was like looking in a mirror for him. He saw Constance with another guy, and at the same time he saw himself with another girl. Phillip had stopped denying the fact that Constance was the girl he wanted to be with...or at least...I’ve stopped denying it to myself. to everyone else however, Phillip hadn’t mastered that yet. He was still the same Phillip, just with a sore spot. In recent weeks many of Phillip’s friends had noticed that he was far more distant than usual. He was easily agitated, and flew off the handle with absolutely no warning. It wasn’t like he did it on purpose; it wasn’t even like he realized it. He just did it because his head was so fogged up with thoughts about his and Constance’s relationship that thinking about anything else just wore on him.

He hadn’t done much flirting in the past few days either. He’d been spending all his time either alone, or with guy friends, avoiding girls because of the feeling he’d been getting in the pit of his stomach every time he flirted with them. But just the sight of Constance a few moments ago had made Phillip want to spite her more than ever. Sure, Phillip hadn’t gotten close enough to Constance to know whether she had even been flirting or not, but he hadn’t been willing to see his suspicion in action. For that reason Phillip had put aside his guilt when he saw that he was going to be joined by a girl he knew, as an acquaintance at the most, walking out into the courtyard. Phillip sighed to himself and then stood, dusting himself off before making his way toward Aurora, a hufflepuff in his year. He hadn’t talked to her much, only in classes if he remembered right. “Now what’s a girl like you doing outside? You should be up where it’s warm; wouldn’t want a pretty face like that to get too cold.” Phillip smiled, pulling on his mask of charm, in need of a distraction from the frustration he’d been harboring for the last few weeks.

[Aurora Chan]

Aurora was cold. Really cold. She shivered as she wrapped her scarf around her neck tighter, the soft tassels at the end of her cerulean scarf chaffing against her fluffy-hooded winter coat, such a bright white it would’ve matched with the snow had there been any. Ari had bought a matching one the year before, though black in colour, as ebony as night just as Aurora’s was pure as a blank piece of paper, ready to be mauled by her scrawled works or Ari’s pencil sketches. So far, Aurora had kept her somewhat new coat clean; the brilliance of the white had yet to fade, and it was wonderful for warmth. It wasn’t quite the weather to be bundled up so heavily (hence the odd glances she had received when walking around school, though Aurora had laughed them off and they had soon joined her in her amusement), since it was only beginning to near winter. Judging from the barren trees and the heaps of golden leaves lining the Courtyard floor, it was pretty close, and if Aurora had anything to go by, it was the stinging cold that racked her very bones that signalled winter’s arrival. Aurora despised the cold very much. That was her one problem with winter, because she enjoyed the occasional bouts of snow England would now and again receive. But it also meant that the air was so frosty that in the mornings windows would be bordered by condensation, and Aurora was forced to wear many layers from her fear of the wintry weather.

Aurora rubbed her gloved hands together in an effort to keep them warm, before smiling up at the sky. It was clear, the afternoon sun a twinkle in the distance as the expanse of blue stretched on and on, into regions Aurora knew were rather unreachable. She had never been the exploring type, but the world fascinated her nonetheless. There was something just as magical about nature as there was about magic itself. Feeling her toes go numb a little, although they were encased in thick black boots, Aurora moved towards a bench and sat down, crossing her legs and making herself comfortable on the cold surface. What was she doing out here again? Aurora wasn’t really sure. It was much too cold for herself to be wandering aimlessly out here. She could be inside writing a song, or singing, or something that involved music, perhaps even practising a spell or two. Yet something within her had compelled her to wander outside into the icy atmosphere, where little students roamed at this time of hour. Probably inside the castle making use of their free lunch hour. Aurora deduced silently, tucking a strand of black behind her ear. She supposed she needed the time to think here, where generally silence reigned and she could ponder over life. The circular nature of the cycle, the flaws and the strengths, the good and the bad. She thought about school and the homework she had awaiting her back in her dormitory, and the stress teachers evoked upon their students so they could gain good grades. Family and friends came up, her parents, Leo, Ari and Harmony... And of course, Daniel couldn’t be left out, because Aurora believed one of the most important things in life was love, and when it came to love in her life, Daniel still came first.

Goodbye was always difficult to say. Especially to someone you love. For Aurora, it wasn’t technically goodbye, as she and Daniel would be seeing each other the coming Christmas holidays, where band practices crammed between the family meals and the presents would be vital for the summer ahead. Aurora was thankful Daniel was not moving away to Spain anymore, and would stay by her side (not by her side literally, but close enough). Yet it was a bittersweet farewell as in terms of their relationship, Aurora and Daniel both knew it would never be the same again. They had both waved goodbye to the possibilities that could be proposed between the both of them. Now that Daniel was letting go, Aurora found it easier to do so herself, despite the fact she had initiated the break from the beginning. She didn’t regret it, yet she wished that space would be filled by somebody soon. She was so afraid of deflecting from her promise to Daniel. To let herself be drawn to him again.

Aurora’s thoughts were broken, however, when a familiar voice spoke, and she glanced to the side to see Phillip Smith, a Gryffindor in her year. Aurora smiled at him, her usual friendliness erecting itself automatically. “You flatter me, Phillip.” Aurora remarked modestly, “But are you sure you should hang around me...? I mean...” She trailed away as she sought for the appropriate words. She had heard (and seen) Phillip’s close relationship to another Gryffindor, Constance Day (who was somewhat similar to Ari in one way...), and Aurora did not want to get herself involved. Phillip had never tried to make one of his renowned moves on her, but she supposed she was still on the hit list. “Never mind. Pretend I say nothing.” Aurora shook her head dismissively and smiled. She wouldn’t pry into Phillip’s business. They could still have a normal conversation. “I can see I’m not the only one feeling the cold.” Aurora teased as her eyes looked over Phillip’s appearance. The boy was good looking in his own way, but she knew... he wasn’t her type either. “What are you doing out here, Phillip? You probably have a better excuse than I do.”

[Phillip Smith]

Phillip raised an eyebrow at Aurora as he sat down on the bench next to her. He knew where she was going, and had she gone any further Phillip would probably have stood and left. He really didn’t want anyone to bring Constance up. The whole point of Phillip being outside in the courtyard was to be as far away from Constance as he could put himself. The whole point of talking to Aurora was to put Constance out of his mind. That was the sole reason he had gone to talk to the girl. Phillip really didn’t have a craving for any one’s company but Constance’s. And if he had his way he’d spend every minute of the day with her. But the more time they spent together, the more likely it would be for them to get into some type of an argument, and some days Phillip just wasn’t in the mood for that. Today was one of those days. I suppose you could say today was one of Phillip’s weak days. It was a day when all he really wanted was to just relax and not have to put on a mask around anyone. He wanted to just be with Constance the way he knew they both could be if they tried. But he also knew that that wouldn’t work out today, because it was one of his weak days. Today Phillip was temperamental, easily hurt, and agitated, and just flat out sick of pretending.

And so when Aurora changed the subject and moved on to the weather, Phillip was all too happy to move on. He even decided that he wasn’t going to try too hard to flirt. Phillip was just going to have a nice conversation with Aurora, and not one that was full of clever remarks and flirtatious gestures. Wow, when was the last Phillip had had a real conversation with any girl that wasn’t Constance? To be quite honest most of the time Phillip found girls to be excruciatingly dull. He never really blamed them for it, because more than likely it wasn’t the girls that were dull, but Constance who was just more entertaining. Surely if Phillip didn’t know Constance he would enjoy other girls company much more. But Phillip did know Constance and so he found himself always missing her when he was talking to other girls. Constance was probably the only other person that Phillip saw as being on the same level as him. Everyone else was rather beneath him. It was sad that he shoved so many people into this category, but he had always done it. Since he was very young. He had always thought too highly of himself and Constance, and always thought not highly enough of everyone else. It made the task of making friends much more difficult than it should have been.

“I really don’t like the cold.” Phillip confessed as Aurora mentioned the way he was bundled up just like she was. “My ears are freezing too, but I refuse to wear a hat.” Phillip laughed and leaned back on the bench, against the wall behind them. Phillip closed his eyes for a few minutes and took a deep breath, noting how the cold air burned his nose, and then he looked over at Aurora as she asked what he was doing outside. Phillip shrugged and looked up at the sky. “My feet just kind of carried me. So I guess I don’t really have a good excuse eh?” Phillip crossed his arms to keep himself warmer, starting to get cold from just sitting still. “Isn’t it strange how the sky can be so clear on a day like this? What with how cold it is you’d assume it’d be all cloudy and grey.”

[Aurora Chan]

“Join the club.” Aurora chuckled softly at Phillip’s confession, smiling across at him. “Aw… I think a hat would suit you. I have earmuffs you could borrow.” She suggested with a straight face, “They’re bright pink. I think they would be totally you.” Aurora waited for Phillip’s reply, trying not to laugh at an image of the boy with pink earmuffs over his brunette hair in her mind. In all honesty, Aurora didn’t know Phillip well. She had heard a few rumours from her classmates, things generally about his arrogance and flirtatiousness, and occasionally his and Constance’s odd relationship. Ariane didn’t talk about her fellow Gryffindors, but Aurora got the impression Phillip and Constance were people she stayed away from even more so than others. Aurora had never erected such constrictions on her social life, hence her familiarity with most people in Hogwarts, but Phillip was definitely one she had never sat down and had the chance to have a proper conversation in over five years. Perhaps it was because fate had never led their paths to cross for more than ten minutes at a time. Aurora had a feeling that Phillip wasn’t really the guy he was renowned for being. Besides his initial comments when he had approached her, which she admitted were rather flirtatious, Aurora wanted to think that Phillip seemed extremely decent. There were some people, she knew, that she couldn’t even get two words out of. Instigating a simple “hello” could be painful. At least Phillip didn’t lack one thing Aurora preferred in her companions – the gift of being talkative.

Aurora laughed, nodding her head. “It’s a bad excuse, that’s for sure. But I get it. It’s the same reason I’m out here too. I have no idea what I’m doing, apart from the fact I know I am thinking. Which is good, because one naturally assumes a human being thinks with their brains.” She shrugged carelessly with a lopsided smile. “I already told you I hate the cold too. Look why I’m bundled up in this… thing.” She gestured wildly at her white beacon of a coat. “I stand out so much, I’m probably blinding your eyes. Sorry.” She smiled as she smoothed down the furred sleeves. “But like I said, god knows why I’m here. The feet and the mind do the walking and the talking.” Aurora looked down at her legs with a slight frown creasing her forehead. “Man… my toes are going numb.” She mumbled with a roll of her eyes. “I need to learn a spell to insulate boots…” Laughing, she wriggled her feet. “Magic is so useful.” She commented offhandedly. “Some spells may seem so useless until the chance to make use of them arises.”

Aurora’s eyes turned to the stretch of sky at Phillip’s mention, and smiled contentedly to herself. She didn’t expect this to the a topic she would’ve discussed with Phillip Smith, and yet Aurora was pleased that he was making proper conversation with her, treating her as a friend and equal rather than some girl he could chat up and take advantage of. Aurora always hoped to find the best on other people, and she was secretly optimistic that Phillip was a good person at heart. “Yeah… It is strange.” She nodded slowly, taking her time to divulge her answer. “But… I hear that the coldest of days can produce the clearest of skies. Haven’t you noticed that? It’s the fair, sunny days which have clouds strung across the sky. I mean, I’m not saying that’s not beautiful, because I think it is too, but there’s something about staring at that great… mass of blueness. The colour that envelops this entire world, and prevents us from seeing beyond it. I think the sky is amazing. I’m just so glad it isn’t cloudy and grey.” Aurora grimaced visibly. “Just because Ari likes her rainstorms, doesn’t mean I do. I much prefer the clarity of the sky right now, despite the cold. It’s like snow. It may be freezing, but that price is paid with the beauty of the clear sky, or snow. Don’t you think?” Aurora asked musingly, before pausing. Then she blinked and turned back to Phillip with an embarrassed laugh. “Whoops. There I go again on one of my weird ramblings… Sorry. I probably weirded you out there. But you’ll get used to it if you talk to me more. We’ve never had the time to talk, have we, Phillip? I’m sorry you had to listen to me preaching about the sky.” Aurora rolled her eyes as she grinned good naturedly.

[Phillip Smith]

Phillip smirked over at Aurora as she offered him ear muffs. “Don’t mean to seem ungrateful, it’s just pink isn’t quite my color.” He told her then, matching her straight face, waiting for her to laugh first. The thought of Phillip in ear muffs, pink once none the less, was ghastly. The last time Phillip had worn a hat his mother and father had taken him on a trip to Moscow, and he had sworn his ears would fall off if he didn’t cover them up somehow. So his mother had bought him a hat that he hadn’t worn since. He still had it with him in his trunk though, just in case, but overall Phillip didn’t think of himself as a hat sort of person. He felt it made his face look far too long and then he resembled a horse. Plus, the thought of getting his hair messed up by a hat was not Phillip’s idea of a good thing. If he put a hat on he’d have to either wear it all day, or wear it till he could wash his hair and redo it, because it was sure to make his hair look like a mess. Phillip’s hair was always nicely done. Never messy. Especially not from wearing a hat.

Phillip looked at Aurora’s coat as she mentioned it, and then he chuckled. “May I be honest with you? You look like a big white rabbit.” He nodded matter of factly and then laughed and shook his head. “Only teasing, it looks rather warm though.” He nodded as she said her feet and her mind did all the walking and talking, then again, weren’t feet supposed to do all the walking and talking? Phillip thought about mentioning it, but Aurora went on about her feet being cold and her needing to find a spell to insulate them. Phillip chuckled and nodded. “I think I need a spell that would just like...make me a polar bear or something, then I’d be warm...but again, white isn’t my color either.” Phillip smiled and shook his head at his bad attempt at a joke, before leaning his head back against the school and looking up at the sky. He mentioned it to Aurora, and then listened as she gave her two cents. Phillip smiled as the girl continued on and on about the sky and he nodded along to what she was saying, when she stopped and apologized Phillip laughed and shook his head.

“No, no, it’s fine, no need for apologies. I was listening, really I was, sorry if I might have seemed a bit distracted.” Phillip shrugged and rubbed his hands together in an effort to warm them up. Over the years he had found that as long as his hands were warm, his body would stay relatively warm. So he tried that, because he was really, really cold. “It’s always nice to hear someone preach about the sky, compared to long discussions of gossip. Oh goodness Aurora, you have no idea how much gossip I hear in one day. No offense or anything, but you girls sure can talk some serious dirt on your fellows.” He smiled at her and shrugged again, trying to keep his mind from Constance, for it had easily flown back to her. “Girls...” Phillip sighed and then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. “Aurora, why are you girls so darn complicated?” He didn’t know why, but Aurora’s rant on the sky seemed to open Phillip up to her, and he was finding himself divulging his frustration, if in only tiny increments. He probably could use someone to talk to about it anyways, and Constance wasn’t exactly there to talk to, nor was she really the proper one to talk to about it, so here Phillip was, spilling his thoughts to a girl he hardly knew. But oh well, sometimes strangers were the best people to talk to.

[Aurora Chan]

“Really?” Aurora laughed. “And there I was thinking you would’ve really suited pink.” She leaned her elbow against the bench rest and propped her cheek into the warm material of her gloves. “Though I can understand where you’re coming from. I may be a girl, but pink has never been my colour either. I prefer my blacks and blues.” Aurora admitted honestly, grinning. “I’ll take that as a compliment, Phillip.” She laughed with amusement at his next statement. “I suppose I do though. It should really be fluffier, hm? It is warm, you’re right. Otherwise I wouldn’t really be humiliating myself quite so much.” Aurora fidgeted with the scarf round her neck, loosening the tight grip of it a tad. She had never enjoyed things circling her neck; she was sure it was because Lizzie had accidentally almost strangled her with a skipping rope during their youth. Aurora hadn’t liked people’s hands around her neck after that, but scarves she had learnt to tolerate. Lizzie was still distraught and guilty to this day about the incident, but Aurora didn’t blame her friend. It was purely an accident, and she was glad she hadn’t choked to death. “You could always become an Animagus.” Aurora offered helpfully, a teasing tone in her voice to match Phillip’s. “I’m sure you’d make an adorable polar bear, though I think I’d go for a better choice, for example, a cat like McGonagall. I’m sure trying to get around as a polar bear would be so easy. They sure blend into the surroundings.”

Aurora chuckled as her voice lost the sarcasm. “If pink and white are neither your colours, what are your colours? Let me guess. Red? Black?” Her first choice was probably because he was a Gryffindor; Aurora knew that the house you were in affected the stereotypes of people. On the other hand, she really did think Phillip was a red kind of person. A dark red, mind you, not a bright blood crimson. She voiced the thought to him, but didn’t tell Phillip it was because he reminded her of intensity. She had only been talking to him for a few minutes, but over the years that was what Aurora had gathered from him. Despite his outward ways, Aurora could detect something intense about this young man. She was sure that was probably why Constance Day was attracted to – however much she always denied in appearance her lack of love for Phillip. Aurora smiled to herself. She was sure Phillip and Constance were meant to be; on the contrary to her and Daniel. Thinking of Phillip and Constance reminded Aurora of a memory from long ago… a recollection of something bittersweet, of a childhood friend of her own whom she had lost. A gaping hole suddenly throbbed in her chest, and Aurora turned back to Phillip to reject the feeling. “And when I say black, I mean… dark grey. Even silver. And don’t ask me why, I can’t explain. It’s just one of my feelings again.” Aurora spoke honestly. “What colours do you think I am then, Phillip? It’s always interesting to ask someone who doesn’t know you very well. And you can be honest with me. I don’t take offence easily.”

Aurora smirked a little at Phillip’s words. “No offence taken. That’s girls for you.” She sighed softly and stared up at the sky again. “We’re gossipers. Even I am… I just limit what I talk about to one person… Maybe two. I don’t believe in talking about people in a bad light though; there is no point in demeaning people, it gives me no pleasure.” Aurora smiled as she turned back to Phillip. “Rumours and such… they hurt people more than they realise. I used to be a tomboy when I was a kid, actually, and I still have remnants of that now. I don’t always get along with the girls in our year… in fact, I prefer male company. They’re simpler, nicer, more honest with their feelings… generally. Except it concerns girls.” Aurora chuckled to herself at the thought. “I don’t understand what some people get from talking about someone else.” Aurora proceeded to sigh sadly. She turned to look at Phillip as he also sighed and seemed deep in thought. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but decided to let him speak first; if he wanted to talk, he would initiate it. Aurora got that feeling from Phillip. She knew some boys were starters, and some were finishers. Then there were the in-betweens. Aurora listened to Phillip’s words carefully, before sitting back with a musing expression on her face. She knew… she could tell Phillip was talking about Constance. Who else could he mean? She didn’t mention her name, but juggled about her words of advice in her mind, thinking of the best way forward. “They just are.” Aurora finally decided to say gently. “Or maybe I should say, we are. We girls have very different ways of thinking than guys do. You just have to learn to work your way around it. It’s best, sometimes with girls, to just come out and say it honestly and openly. No dilly-dallying, no go-betweens and no procrastinating. It only makes things worse, trust me.” Aurora sighed again and closed her eyes. Daniel flitted momentarily through her mind. “Guys are complicated too, if you ask me, but at the end of the day, if there is a problem, you should tackle it head on without trying to avoid it all the time. That just gets you nowhere. If you want to know what a girl is really thinking, just ask. Ask her straight. Tell her to be honest with you too. Communication is the best step forward.” Aurora shifted uncomfortably, her legs crossing. “I should really take… or have taken… my own advice.” She murmured softly.