Did he know? ((Closed))

[Jeremiah Baer]

It was too bad that he was surrounded by muggles. Jeremiah could have easily apparated now that he had passed his test, but he knew it was too risky and that he might get caught in an area that had this many muggles. Instead, he walked the windy road into town. The sun shone brightly and the rays were warm against his face. He couldn't help but smile. Today was going to be a good day, he thought. His dad had asked him earlier in the morning if he wanted to join him fishing later. At the time, Jeremiah was taken back by his invitation. It had been so long since the two of them had spent time together. At least the type of time Jeremiah had known as a young boy. Ever since Kara and Sarah had moved out of the house, Jeremiah and his father seemed to drift apart.

He walked into the small dusty store and walked up to the counter. "Hi," he said cheerfully to the man who owned the small store. "I'd like to buy a dozen fishing worms." The man found a container of worms, and Jeremiah pulled his muggle money from his pocket, paid, and started the walk back home. He was so excited for the small fishing outing that he sprinted the last half mile when the house finally came into view.

"Dad!" he shouted as he burst through the door. "Do you have the poles ready?" he questioned happily. He looked on the counter and saw a half full lunch cooler. There were four sandwiches, and a couple pieces of fruit. All that was missing were the drinks, which meant that his dad was most likely in the garage getting some cold soda from the spare refrigerator. "If we wait any longer, the sun will be set soon," he joked, trying to get his father to hurry up. A few minutes passed, and still no reply. Jeremiah sighed loudly and walked toward the garage.

"Da..." he started, but then froze. Panic set in as he saw his father laying face down on the cement garage floor- the fridge door open and cans of soda sprawled around him. For a moment, he couldn't move, but then worked up enough sense to go to the phone. Dialing 911, he could barely spit out his address to the telephone assistant as she informed him that emergency vehicles were on their way.

Jeremiah sprinted back into the garage and knelt down beside his father. He listened at his mouth, but didn't hear any noise. Then, he felt for a pulse, but really didn't know what he was doing, so he wasn't sure if there was one or not. "Dad," he cried out loud. "Dad, you can't do this to me now- not now. Why couldn't you have just went to the muggle doctors instead of being so stubborn... why?" His fear mixed with anger as he sat there and waited. The time seemed like forever, and he wondered if anyone was even going to come. What was he supposed to do? He didn't know anything about how he should care for his father. He didn't even know what was wrong- his heart, he assumed, since he had been having trouble with it, but how was Jeremiah supposed to know?

Just then the sounds of sirens could be heard, and Jeremiah rushed to the door. A medical team entered the house and he quickly led them to the garage. Within minutes they had his father loaded into the emergency vehicle, and Jeremiah was by his side as they rushed to the muggle hospital. His brain was numb, and all he could do was stare at his father's lifeless face. What if he didn't make it? What if Jeremiah was left alone? Did his father even know how excited he was for their fishing trip? Jeremiah kept asking himself these questions over and over again in his head. Did he know that I loved him? Did he know that I didn't hate him? Did he know?

[Jeremiah Baer]

When the ambulance arrived at the muggle hospital, Jeremiah was ushered to a waiting room by a middle-aged nurse assistant. She was talking to him, trying to make general conversation, but Jeremiah was too shaken to bother paying attention to her. He found a seat and collapsed into it, burying his head in his hands. Was this really happening?

About thirty minutes passed, and Jeremiah shifted uncomfortably in his chair every few seconds. He was sick of waiting. He wanted answers... now. Hastily, he strode up to the receptionists desk and rapped loudly on the glass window. The young woman looked up startled. "Can I help you sir?" she said in a quiet voice.

Jeremiah didn't want to be rude, but his emotions were not the most stable at the moment. "Yeah you could," he replied quickly. "My dad was brought in about half an hour ago, and I would really like to know what is going on. Nobody has told me anything yet," he said, almost forcefully. Lucky for him, the woman was very kind, and she immediately picked up the phone and made a call. Jeremiah ran his hand through his hair for the hundredth time while waiting for her to hang up.

"The doctor said he will be right out," she said with a smile. A breath of relief escaped from Jeremiah's chest. "Thanks," he managed before rushing over to the door that his father had disappeared behind. Finally, he would get the information he had a right to know.

A few moments later, a tall, skinny man walked through the door. He somehow knew that Jeremiah was who he was looking for as he walked over to him and placed his hand on Jeremiah's shoulder. "Wanna take a walk son?" the doctor asked calmly. He flashed a half-grin while looking down at Jeremiah.

A walk? the words repeated in Jeremiah's head. The last thing he wanted to do was take a walk. He just wanted answers. Answers to his questions like how his father was, or what was even wrong with him. "Actually," he replied in as nice a voice as he could muster, "I would prefer to have some answers. So, if it isn't too much to ask, can you please just tell me what is wrong with my dad and let me see him?" he asked.

The doctor could sense Jeremiah's frustration, and he didn't mind his impatience. "How about if you just take that walk with me, we can talk about this. I will answer any questions that you might have." Jeremiah thought about it for a moment and realized that the doctor was actually trying to help. Maybe he could be more cooperative.

"Alright," he said with a sigh as he let the doctor lead him through the doors back into a large hallway. They walked through the halls, turning at occasional corners. Jeremiah kept a wary eye the entire time, hoping to catch a glimpse of his father. Finally, the doctor led Jeremiah into a small room. There was nothing in the room, save for a round table and two chairs. It was somewhat uncomfortable, and it just gave Jeremiah a sick feeling about it. Closing the door, the doctor took a seat and motioned for Jeremiah to do the same. The whole time, Jeremiah began to fear what he might be about to hear.

[Jeremiah Baer]

"Well son," the doctor instantly began, "I won't lie to you- it's not good." Letting the words sink in felt like swallowing poison. Jeremiah's mind began to race. Not good- the phrase could still be interpreted so widely. He could be not good, as in really sick? Or possibly just... not good? Jeremiah was only confusing himself as he tried to wrap his mind around the openness of the doctor's description.

"I will be completely honest with you," the doctor went on. "Well I would surely hope so," Jeremiah snapped back, almost out of pure shock and confusion. His breathing was elevated now, as he really didn't know what to expect. He had never dealt with anything quite like this, and he particularly didn't like the way that the doctor was going about it all. First, he escorted him to this terrible room, and then he proceeded to sit there and say practically nothing with any meaning. Jeremiah had to force himself to remain calm.

"I.. I'm sorry," the doctor sputtered. In a way, Jeremiah could sense the truth in his voice. "It's just that this is a very hard situation. One that I really don't have much experience with." The words confused Jeremiah a bit, and he started to become more afraid of what the doctor might say. "Your father is doing very badly. He had a major stroke, and at this point, his body isn't working as it should. We have him hooked up to monitors and machines... but that can only last so long."

Jeremiah felt like he was falling into a deep pit. His mouth hung open, but no sound came out. Was he imagining this? He wanted so badly to wake up and realize that he was having a nightmare. But he didn't wake up. He was awake- awake and staring at a man who just gave him the most dreadful news he had ever heard. It took minutes before Jeremiah could even speak.

"What... what does this mean?" The words barely escaped Jeremiah's lips. "Can't you do anything? Is there any chance that he will be able to recover from this? I don't understand. What are the options here?"

The doctor could tell that Jeremiah may not have been ready for all of this, but there was no other way. Since he was the only person listed on his father's contact list, that gave him the authority to make all decisions, given the situation that his father was unable to make a decision for himself. The doctor felt terrible putting Jeremiah in a situation like this, but there was no other way. "Jeremiah," he began, his voice very sympathetic, "this means that you... you alone are responsible for making any decisions concerning your father's care. And that means that now, we have one important decision we need you to make. As I said, your father at this moment is unable to live without aid from machines. And, as we see it, the chance that he will recover and be able to at all is very slim. So, you need to tell us if you want us to keep him on the machines, or just let him go." The words had an eerie ring to them.

Jeremiah thought that nothing could be worse than what the doctor first said, but this was worse. This was ten times worse. In a way, he didn't even understand how this could even happen. He couldn't stop it anymore, and all the emotions that were building inside him burst. "OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO KEEP HIM ALIVE!" he cried, his voice wavering. "HE WILL COME BACK, HE HAS TO COME BACK, I KNOW HE'LL COME BACK!" The exhaustion got the best of him and he fell back into the chair and buried his face in his hands. This was real. This was scary. This was too much for Jeremiah to handle. He stood up and burst out the door into the hall.

[Jeremiah Baer]

After bursting out of the room, he fought back the tears by gritting his teeth. As he ran down the hall searching for his father, Jeremiah clenched his hands so tightly that they started turnig white. He couldn't remember a time in his life when he was more emotionally exhausted. He felt anger, sadness, confusion, and pain all at the same time. In a way, it numbed him to even feeling anything at all.

As he ran by the people in the hall, most would just give him an annoyed look, while others hurried out of his way. In passing each door, Jeremiah looked in to see if he could find his father. Window after window, he passed, stealing glimpses of a variety of people in their beds- none were his father. He saw the nurses station ahead, and sprinted toward it. Out of breath, he asked the first nurse that he saw, "Where can I find James Baer!?" He looked desperate, and at first the nurse just stared in shock.

"Umm," she stuttered, "Mr. Baer is that way in the Intesive Care Unit," she said, pointing toward the far hall behind a set of swining doors. "But you are not allowed back there." As her last sentence escaped her lips, it was too late. Jeremiah was already off in that direction, determined to see his father.

As he pushed through the doors, he heard a males voice yelling from behind him. "You can't go in there son!" He ignored the order. The set up here was a lot different than the rest of the hospital. Instead of single rooms, the patients were all in a large room, separated by curtains. Instantly Jeremiah spotted his father and ran to his side.

"Dad!" He cried aloud as the tears finally forced their way out. His father lay on his back, motionless. His eyes were closed, and the patterned beep of the monitor was the only noise that came from his area. Jeremiah put his arms around his father the best he could and laid his head on his dad's chest. "Dad you cant leave me, you just can't. It's not fair. Why won't you just wake up." For ony a few minutes, Jeremiah lay at his father's side and just wept. Then, a doctor came over and pulled him away. He fought it at first, but then let go, never letting his eyes leave the image of his father just laying on the bed until he was completely out of sight.

[Jeremiah Baer]

Two weeks later...

Jeremiah taped the last cardboard box and stacked it on the large pile of stuff. He stared at the empty rooms and he had to shake the chills that started up his back. This was it. It was finally over. In a way, he felt like he was finally going to be able to forget the nightmare of the last few weeks. He had cried until he couldn't cry any more. He had thought so much that his brain refused to think another thought. But it was over.

Soon, the county would be coming to ship away all of things that Jeremiah had no use for. Luckily, he was able to find some muggle money that his father had hidden in the house. It wasn't much, but it would be enough to get him through the next week or so until school started again. As he took one last look at the empty house, he thought of the good times- back when his sisters Sarah and Kara were still around. It was then that he felt most like he was part of a family. It was then that his father was less distant and consumed by his work. But even that came to an end as Jeremiah remembered. Soon, Sarah and Kara wanted nothing to do with their father, and Jeremiah was the only one left. With his being a student at Hogwarts, he and his father never really did become close.

Pulling the door shut behind him, Jeremiah placed the key under the doormat, where he told the realtor he would leave it. The "For Sale" sign was displayed prominently in the weed-covered lawn. With just a backpack over his shoulder, and two large suitcases full of only the items he wanted to continue with, Jeremiah walked down the sidewalk toward the road. He refused to let himself look back. With each step, he could feel more and more weight lift from himself. As hard as it was to walk away, Jeremiah knew he was given something that was rare. He was given the chance to start all over. He really had nothing at this point, except for what he was carrying with him. Sure, he had school, but only for one more year. After that, he would be starting new anyways.

Before long, he heard the approaching Knight Bus. He had only ever used the bus on one other occasion, but he would need it tonight with all of his luggage. Plus, he felt he might be too drained to properly apparate- something he was new at anyways. The bus came to a stop, and the familiar driver opened the door. "Leaky Cauldron please," Jeremiah mumbled, as he loaded his things and found a seat.

The bus started again, whipping in and out of the unsuspecting muggle traffic. Jeremiah rested his head the best he could against the side of the bus. Pulling out a book from his bag, he began to flip through it. Inside were random photos and clippings. He went straight to the last page where a freshly cut newspaper clipping stood out. Unlike most of the other contents in the book, this one was not discolored and yellow, showing its lack of age compared the others. Looking at it, Jeremiah read:

James Baer, 47
Mr. James Baer died last night in the
Mercyview Hospital. Two nights previous,
he suffered from a stroke that left him
brain-dead. After much consideration,
doctors agreed that it was impossible
that he would make a recovery. Family
members were finally convinced that it
would be most practical in this case for
Mr. Baer to be removed from the medical
machines that were sustaining his life.

He is survived by three children:
Sarah Myers 21, Kara Campton 19,
and Jeremiah Baer 17. He was preceded
in death by his parents, and wife of 22
years. The viewing will be on August 23
from 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm and the funeral
will be held at the Raystown Church at
10:00 am on August 24. Family and friends
are welcome to attend.

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After reading the paper once more, Jeremiah closed the book and whispered softly. "I hope you knew dad... that no matter what you may have thought, I always loved you. I just hope you knew that."