Sympathy For The Devil ((Closed))

[Mackenzie Holden]

The orange entrance to the studio loomed before her as she climbed out of the limousine and surveyed it. The dark purple lettering against the bright orange frame always caught Mackenzie off guard; simply because… well… who in their right mind would choose those two colours as a scheme? Mack looked up at it through her dark tinted aviator sunglasses, her hands on her hips. It felt so good to see G-Major right in front of her. If it felt this good to see G-Major, she knew it would feel insanely amazing to be inside the studio and recording again. A breeze blew by and pushed some of Mack’s blonde hair into her line of vision, causing her to tuck it behind her ear. She took a deep breath and then stepped into the cooled building. The first thing Mack spotted was the weird curved desk that separated the entrance hall from the lounge. Mack didn’t bother to make herself known to the receptionist, who was busy chatting away on her headset. A new receptionist? Georgia must be getting pretty witchy. Deciding that she would rather jump off a bridge than disturb the receptionist from her phone call, Mack headed straight past the desk into the lounge. “Just who do you think you are and where do you think you’re going?” The voice held an Italian accent that Mack couldn’t place, but she didn’t need to know the person well to know it was the receptionist who was speaking. With a sigh, Mack turned around and lifted her sunglasses to perch themselves on top of her head. The receptionist had stood from her chair and was leaning over the circle half of the desk, her long and plaited brown hair falling over her green eyes. She raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow with a smirk as she waited for Mack to answer.

“Well, I’m Mackenzie Holden and I’m going to find my producer.” With that said, Mack was about to turn on her heel and walk into the lounge, but the receptionist had other ideas.

“Oh, really? If you’re Mackenzie Holden, then I’m the President of the United States.” The receptionist had stepped out from behind the desk and was now standing in front of Mack. She was about six inches taller than the fifteen year old, but that was with what seemed to be three inch heels on. Nonetheless, Mack didn’t feel nearly as intimidated as the receptionist seemed to want her to feel. The only thing she was feeling in result of this receptionist’s badgering would be annoyance.

“I’m really Mackenzie Holden, ask anyone he-…”

“She’s telling the truth, Vittoria, she’s Mackenzie.” Another unmistakable accent, only this time Mack could place it. She turned around and instantly her face broke into a smile. There he stood. All six feet of him. Broody. But amazing. “TOMMY!” Mack threw her arms around Tommy’s neck and pulled him into a hug. He immediately hugged her back, restoring that safe feeling that Mack missed while she was at Hogwarts. It was that safe feeling inside her that was only there when she was with Jack or Tommy, and recently Jack hadn’t been there and Tommy… well… Tommy was there when she needed him most. He was always accessible if she ever needed to talk. That was who Jack was supposed to be. The one Mack could easily talk to if she ever needed to, but he had grown so distant lately that he might as well have just gone. The feeling of security was restored in her when she hugged Tommy, though, and she was cherishing the moment for as long as she was able to. Which, unfortunately wasn’t for long.

“Goodie for you two, but Tom? Nelson’s waiting for you in his office.” Vittoria. She had to ruin the moment. Mack’s annoyance was quickly quashed by her curiosity as Tommy pulled away from the hug.

“Who’s Nelson?” she asked with confusion riddled in her voice and across her face. Tommy sighed as he pushed a stray strand of blonde hair from Mack’s face. Mack didn’t like the look in his eyes. Something was wrong at G-Major. She had known it the moment she had entered and seen a new receptionist. The old receptionist had been just great for Georgia. Instead of answering her question, Tommy grabbed her hand and led her to the lounge and past the orange room into Georgia’s office. How could this be Nelson’s office if it was Georgia’s? Georgia founded G-Major, therefore Georgia ran G-Major. With more questions now brewing in her brain, Mack was forced to sit down in one of the arm chairs in front of the mahogany desk. Behind the mahogany desk sat a man with slicked hair the colour of black ink. He didn’t look too friendly. Mack tilted her head as Tommy sat beside her, “So, you’re Nelson? Right. Okay, that bit’s pretty much a gimme… now, tell me… what are you doing here? What important role do you play at G-Major?”

“Mack, I wouldn’t…”

“No, it’s fine, Tom. It’s a pleasure to meet you Mackenzie, of course I would have liked this meeting to have been sooner, but I was told you were… indisposed. They wouldn’t give me anymore information than that.” Nelson gave Tommy a quick look and then looked down at his paperwork, giving Tommy a moment to look toward Mack and mouth the word ‘muggle.’ That would explain the whole not telling him where she was thing. “Well, Mackenzie, let me see how I can answer your question. In a small sense, I am G-Major. I am its present, future, and forever.” Nelson had started to talk again and upon the words he spoke, Mack felt even more confusion flow over her. She was about to open her mouth to speak again when Nelson continued. “Georgia was proven to be… unacceptable for the studio and so the executives fired her and hired me in her place, if that helps you understand it anymore.”

Oh. Mack understood. Mack understood very well. No one was talking, and she could feel Tommy watching her and waiting for her reaction. She didn’t say anything, though, at least not until… “G-Major is now going to be N-Major? Oh, please. You know, this studio is going to the dogs.” Mack stood and shook her head before heading toward the door and pushing it open. She froze in her spot before looking down at her feet, “If you want to change G-Major, go right ahead. You’ll lose a lot of talented artists by changing its outlook, but that is inevitably what you are going to do; because apparently Georgia’s ways were unacceptable.” Her voice was quiet. Her one thing keeping her stable was falling apart. “I’ll be in booth 1, Tommy.” And with that, Mack left the office and crossed the lounge to the recording booth.

[Mackenzie Holden]

She was sitting in the big swivel chair that was behind the control panel when he joined her. She was aware of his presence, but she didn’t say anything. She was too busy pushing the volume control button up and down on the control panel in annoyance and anger. How could they just fire Georgia? Georgia made G-Major, she made the recording company what it was. How could they just… get rid of her? Couldn’t they have just made the things she needed to change apparent to her and then give her awhile to work on it? Mack shoved the volume control button up rather harshly and the top snapped off, launching to the glass in front of her. It struck the glass and then toppled to the floor, then being picked up by Tommy. “You know, we kind of need this panel to work,” he said softly as he leaned over Mack and placed the top back onto the volume knob. Mack didn’t say anything, she just reached for another knob and started pushing that up and down. For the past three months, Mack had felt like her life was spiraling out of control and the only thing that wasn’t going into the cyclone that was her life was her music and G-Major. Now that G-Major was N-Major, Mack didn’t know how long even that fraction of her life could stay out of the tornado. Tommy had taken a seat in the other swivel chair and pulled up beside her so he was close enough to reach over and grab her hand to stop her from breaking off another knob. Mack looked up, hoping he would just tell her it was all a joke and that Georgia was going to appear out of thin air and say April fools. He didn’t.

In fact, he didn’t say anything. Mack watched him intently, willing him to say something that would make everything better. He just remained silent. “Tommy? Tell me this isn’t real. Tell me that, that Nelson guy is just kidding.” Her voice was pleading with him, her eyes were tearing up. G-Major couldn’t be handed over to someone else. It just couldn’t. Mack didn’t know what she was more afraid of. She didn’t know if she was afraid of being under new management, or if she was afraid that her whole image would have to be changed. Mack hadn’t changed her image for the company; she had done it because she had grown as a person. If Nelson wanted her to change who she was… Mack wasn’t certain she could do that. Tommy squeezed her hand, bringing her mind back to the studio they were sitting in. His eyes held hers as he seemed to think of something to say or how to say it. It couldn’t be that hard. It would only take a couple of words. Right? He’s joking. Those would work. Or even He’s lying would work wonders. There was no way little phrases like that could take Tommy forever to get out. “Tommy? Please.”

“I’m sorry,” No. Those two words were NOT the right words, “He’s telling the truth. The executives that Georgia had taken a partnership with weren’t happy with how she was running G-Major. Specifically how she was handling your records. They replaced her with Nelson because he appeared more experienced when it came to matters like these.” Mack felt the swivel chair fall out from underneath her before she even hit the ground. What? Wincing as she lay on the floor, Mack looked up at Tommy in disbelief. Her records? Georgia was handling her records wrong? How was that possible? It was all her and Tommy that did the records. Georgia had no say in what Mack sung or how she sung it. The only thing Georgia did have a say in was the title album, what songs went on the album, the cover art, and Mack’s performances. Tommy reached down to help her up, but Mack didn’t take his hand to pull herself up. Instead she yanked him down on the floor next to her, sending his swivel chair rolling against the tiled flooring to the opposite wall. It made contact and sent several blank CDs showering to the ground. Tommy started to say something more, but Mack held up her hand to quiet him. He did as he was told and looked at her as she lowered her hand.

“Listen,” she commanded in a hushed tone of voice. When she was certain he was listening as hard as he could, Mack looked over at him; “Did you hear it?”

“Hear what?”

“The life of G-Major being sucked into the cyclone that has been raging through my life.”

“Mack… it isn’t the end of the world.”

“How could it not be, Tommy? Jack’s gone from my life, Dixie’s in Paris, Trevor’s a jerk, and the only thing that was really stable in my life has come to a point where I’m not certain it will be too stable for long.” Mack looked away from Tommy as realization seemed to cross his dark blue eyes. It hurt so much to want something so badly and not be able to get it. Mack wanted happiness and every time she seemed to obtain it… it disappeared from her in the worst possible way. She only had one wish when she blew out the candles on the tiny cupcake she got from her mother on her birthdays. That wish was to be happy and not once did it come true. Not once. It would tease her, make her believe that it was true and then all at once it would disappear in a waft of smoke and just… stay away. “Is it too much to ask for happiness? What do I keep doing wrong? What is it about me that drives the people I love away? Am I cursed? What is it?” The questions poured from her lips as she stared up at the ceiling. She was painfully aware of Tommy’s eyes watching her and it took all her strength not to cry in front of him.

“Nothing is wrong with you, Mack. Nothing at all.”

“Then how is it that Jack has gone from me? It wasn’t my music, that isn’t plausible. It has to be me.”

“Mack, you’re perfect, nothing is wrong with you.

“Then why do I drive everyone I love or who loves me away?!” The tears that she had been trying so hard not to let fall from her eyes were pouring freely now. She covered her face with her hands, the cool metallic band of her star ring on her right hand felt cold against her hot face. When Tommy reached behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling him to her in an embrace, Mack didn’t protest. It felt good to be held as she cried. They lay on the floor for what seemed like an hour, and Mack cried as much as she could until she felt like she couldn’t cry anymore. She wiped at her eyes as she sat up from Tommy’s embrace, looking down at him and tucking her hair behind her ear. He sat up as well and smiled, causing Mack to smile a small smile.

“We should probably actually do some recording,” she said quietly. Tommy nodded but didn’t move to stand. Mack started to get up when Tommy grabbed her hand.

“Mack? You haven’t driven away everyone who loves you, you’ve still got me.” She tilted her head to the right a little, mirth in her eyes.

“You love me, Quincy?”

“Oh, you know, like a brother loves his sister.” Mack nodded slowly before turning away and heading into the recording booth. Some reason she didn’t think he meant in the way he said he did. She smiled to herself as she picked up the headphones and fixed them on over her ears.

[Mackenzie Holden]

“You know what song I think we should record?” Mack jumped when she heard Tommy’s voice around her. She had been flipping through her journal, trying to find a song they hadn’t recorded or that she felt like singing. She looked up and through the glass window to the other side of the recording studio. She shook her head in response before she looked back down at her journal and continued to flip through the pages. “Look on the bookmarked page.” He told her simply. Mack raised an eyebrow but did as she was told and flipped to the page that had the corner bent down. White Lines. She looked over the lyrics and shook her head as tears sprung into her eyes again. “Why not?” His voice wasn’t the tinny sound that it normally was when someone spoke through the mic into the recording area. He had entered the booth. “It’s a great song,” he was kneeling beside her now, looking over her shoulder.

“It’s about Jack, when I was on tour. All I could think about was him.” Mack whispered as she continued to stare down at the lyrics in front of her. Tommy let out a small sigh before putting his hand on Mack’s shoulder, causing her to look at him.

“You aren’t going to get over him if you hide away all the pain. Put the pain into the song. Let’s just try it, okay?” He smiled softly at her, and she nodded. “Great,” he kissed her forehead and stood from his kneeling position to head back into the opposite room. Mack sighed, set the journal on the stand in front of her, pushed the stool out of her way and placed the head phones back on her ears. “White Lines take one.” And the music began. Piano first, hitting melancholy notes; reflecting her mood as she had written the lyrics. She took a deep and shaky breath as her cue came.

“I tried to tell you, I’ve got to get away. I tried to say, I need my space. I got to get some distance in between my heart and my head; I’m on the razor’s edge. I’ve been here before, I know the way.” Mack closed her eyes as she felt the tears slide down her face. “White lines, and headlights in my eyes. White lines, I’m ready to drive all night. White lines, how many till I’m in your arms? White lines will bring me home. Oooh, lines will bring me home.” The music continued to play around her as she lifted her gaze to meet Tommy’s in the booth, to see how she was doing. But he wasn’t watching her. Nelson was standing, facing the glass, and Tommy was turned around to face him so his back was to Mack. She almost missed her next cue. “I held you in my arms last night. I dreamed we were riding on a star. I kissed you and the sun began to shine. In dreams I can do anything. It seems like I’m on my own. Feels like I’m losing it all.” With the words flowing from her mouth, and the music still playing around her, Mack continued to record the song as she watched Tommy and Nelson’s conversation go from as leisurely as it could to a heated argument. Tommy was standing by now, and was motioning to her in the booth as Nelson kept a stoic expression on his face and waited for Tommy to quit screaming. “Seems like I’ve been here before. I know the way. Seems like I’ve been on my own so long, so long. White lines, and headlights in my eyes. White lines, I’m ready to drive all night. White lines, how many till I’m in your arms? White lines will bring me home.”

The music faded as Mack ended the song and once the music was completely turned off, she took the head phones off her head and left the booth. Making sure to stop the recording, Mack didn’t say anything. At least, not until both men had realized she was standing in the same area as they were. They looked at her in shock, Tommy especially. “Yo-you finished?” he asked with an incredulous look on his face. Mack raised her eyebrows and nodded with a smirk on her face. He really hadn’t been paying attention, and that was obvious. “How did it sound?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Tommy. You’re the one who’s supposed to tell me what I was doing wrong if I was doing something wrong. That’s your job, remember?” Tommy was about to say something, as was Nelson, but Mack cut them both off; “I realize you two are having fun playing ‘Who’s the Boss?’ but if it means interfering with my music recording, especially with how little studio time I do get; I’d rather it would wait until break.” Mack raised an eyebrow at the two of them before she sank into Tommy’s deserted chair and pressed the playback button. “Now, Little Tommy Q. tell me what I did or did not do wrong.” For the next four minutes the three of them sat in silence. Mack thought it sounded pretty good all put together with the drums, guitar, and piano. Her voice didn’t sound too bad, but you could tell when she had gotten distracted by Tommy and Nelson’s argument. As it ended, Tommy nodded his head in approval.

“It’s good for the first take, we’ll have to smooth it out, though, in another one. Preferably one where there aren’t any distractions.” He sent Nelson a quick glare before pulling Mack from his chair and then taking her spot.

“Speaking of, what were you two arguing about anyway? You reminded me of my parents’ pre-divorce.” She looked from Tommy to Nelson and then back to Tommy. Neither of them seemed to want to tell her what it was their discussion had been centered around. She didn’t need to have it spelt out for her. She already knew it concerned her. “C’mon, you two. I’m just going to find out anyway, it involves me.” Mack looked to Tommy who looked away as he pointed to his head and mouthed the word hair. She squinted her eyes in confusion as she reached up at her own hair, “My hair. You want me to change my hair?”

“Well, yes. It’s blonde.”

“Right. I’m blonde. It’s my natural colour.”

“It was red before.”

“Ever hear of hair dye?”

“Well, you’ll be dying it back, then.”

“Wha-? No! I wo-!”

“That is that, Mack, you will dye your hair or you will be released from your contract.” Mack felt her jaw drop as Nelson turned on his heel and left the recording studio. He would release her from her contract just because of the stupid colour of her stupid hair?? She stared after him with disbelief in her eyes. Her hair. He wanted it red.

[Mackenzie Holden]

“I can’t believe you did it.”

“I had no choice, did I?! He was going to release me from my bloody contract!” Mack snarled as she pulled the brush through her now red again hair. It was still the same length, but red. She looked at herself in the mirror in front of her. “You're my Mack. No matter if you change into your parents or if you try to make the best of your life from now on. If you change or simply stay the same, or dye your hair again - it doesn't matter. You're still my Mack and you always will be.” That was the last time they really talked. The World Cup. The pain and depression enveloped Mack again as she continued to pull the brush through her hair. The pain from that particular memory stuck with her and she blamed Nelson for it. If she hadn’t dyed her hair, she wouldn’t have been hearing Jack’s voice in her ear every time she looked at the red locks in the mirror. The tears that seemed to always threaten to pour welled in her blue eyes again as she yanked the brush through her hair some more. Tommy was standing in front of her, leaning on the vanity table that held the mirror that Mack so wanted to smash. He was watching her as she yanked the brush through her hair rather harshly, but he didn’t stop her. They had re-recorded White Lines to the point where Mack was crying because of it, and now as he watched her he saw those tears in her eyes once more. Jack really hurt her, and Tommy felt something stir inside him that he didn’t like. A protective roar of sorts, but he didn’t do anything because he knew Mack was old enough and mature enough to handle it.

“If you look on the bright side of things, it doesn’t look bad at all. In fact, it looks pretty good.” Tommy smiled comfortingly, but that was just met by a sharp glare. The glare softened as she seemed to deflate in her seat, letting the brush drop to her side. He hated seeing her like this. He had seen Mack at her best when she was happy and spunky, he had seen her when she was angry and sarcastic; and now he could regretfully say he had seen her when she was depressed and heart broken. Mack closed her eyes and bowed her head as if trying to stop the pain in her heart. Tommy battled with himself, debating whether or not to reach over and comfort her. Before he could decide which side of him had the stronger debate, Mack was speaking in quiet and hushed tones.

“If he wants to change anything else about me, he’ll have to use the imperius curse because I’m not doing it willingly.” Tommy chuckled, glad to see she was perking up a bit. Mack lifted her head and smiled before setting the brush down and standing from the vanity seat and grabbing Tommy’s hand. She dragged him away from the wardrobe room of the G-Major studio and headed into the lounge. “You know what the one thing I missed most about this place besides making music was?” she asked him as she pulled him over to the tiny make shift kitchen. The orange counter top was covered with appliances you would find in a kitchen at a house. Microwave oven, coffee maker, can opener, and more. Mack loved the kitchen at G-Major because it was always stocked and well… she pulled open the fridge and pulled out the things needed for a sandwich. As she dumped them on the counter in front of Tommy, she smiled even more; “Your sandwiches.”

“Oh, I see,” Tommy replied with a chuckle as he leaned over the counter and picked up a piece of lettuce from the container it was in, “you didn’t miss me you just missed my sandwiches.” He wiggled the lettuce in the air before tossing it playfully at Mack. She smiled half-heartedly and looked down at the counter top. Tommy’s joking nature instantly vanished as he saw Mack’s mood meter fall down to the lower level again. “I was joking, Mack.” She nodded slowly before looking up at him and shrugging.

“I know, I know you were. It’s just… of course I missed you. You’re the only person I can really count on right now, and you have no idea how much that means to me. You’re the only person who got me something for my birthday, and well, you’re the only person who matters at the moment.” She shrugged again as she reached over and pulled the bread out of the bread box and placed the slices on a paper towel she had rolled out over the counter top. As she began to make the sandwiches, she felt Tommy’s gaze on her. “Stop staring at me like that,” she said with a smirk on her face, “it makes me feel like you’re criticizing my sandwich making. I mean, I know I can’t make as good a one as you can, but you can let me try, can’t you?” She placed the lunch meat on the bread and then placed a tomato on each sandwich. Tommy had moved from his side of the counter so he was standing beside Mack and started to help out with the sandwiches.

“You know, when we met for the first time, I thought you were a stuck up brat.”

“I didn’t think so hott of you either,” Mack retorted as she plopped the bread slice onto the other.

“No, I’m serious, Mack. I thought you were horrible, like all the other teen stars out there. Julian tried to convince me otherwise, but… I wouldn’t believe it. You had to prove yourself to me, and you did. With all you went through, you were stronger than anyone I know would have been.” He had stopped making his sandwich by now and was watching Mack who had finished making her sandwich and was looking at him with curiosity in her eyes. Where was he going with this? “You’re an outstanding performer, Mackenzie Holden, and an even better person. There isn’t anything you can’t deal with, I know it and I hope you know it, too. I know your life hasn’t been the fairy tale that some people think it is, and I know you hate it when people ask you how you feel… but I’m here for you if you ever just want to tell me…” Mack’s eyes sparkled as an idea came upon her.

“How I Feel…” With those three words, Mack abandoned her sandwich and bolted into the recording studio.

[Mackenzie Holden]

Completely unconnected, everything I’ve ever loved is going away, drowning in emotion, going down, confused. Words littered the glass of the recording studio one. Mack was sitting cross legged on the control panel as she wrote on the glass with dry erase marker. Her red hair cascaded down her back and over shoulders in soft waves and her eyes glowed with happiness as she continued to write on the glass. Did you just waste your breath, asking me how I feel today? Yes. A song was forming in Mack’s mind as she perched on the control panel. The uncomfortable-ness of the panel didn’t bother her, she was in a zone. That was most apparent to Tommy, because he had entered about five minutes ago and asked her what she was doing and she still hadn’t answered him. As he watched her with curiosity and awe in his eyes, she continued to go on and on. Finally; she had a song written on the glass of the recording booth. Mack looked over it as she slipped off the control panel and stood beside Tommy. They stood in silence for a few moments until Mack spoke, “How I feel.” She told him quietly. Tommy nodded and pulled out her guitar from the rack that was behind them and handed it to her. She took it, sat on the floor, and began to play – matching the lyrics up to music and rhythms.

Within an hour, they had the music for the song recorded. Tommy played the piano piece for it, Mack played the guitar, and they both contributed with the percussion. Finally, it was time for Mack to sing it. She slipped the head phones back on her ears and position the microphone in front of her. Giving Tommy a nod, he clicked the button; “How I Feel take one.” A second passed and the music started, Mack counted the beats in her head as it came to her cue.

“I know how this all must look, like a picture ripped from the story book. Got it easy, I got it made. There’s a golden road laid out before me, and everyone how they adore me. Like a diamond, in the sun.” The music cut off and Mack looked up at Tommy who pressed the button and spoke to her.

“Move the mic a little away from you, it’s picking up your breaths.” She gave him the thumbs up sign and pushed the mic away a bit before positioning herself and nodding at Tommy again. “How I Feel take two.” Once again, the music started up and Mack counted her beats until her cue.

“I know how this all must look, like a picture ripped from a story book. Got it easy, I got it made. There’s a golden road laid out before me, and everyone how they adore me. Like a diamond, in the sun. Did you just waste your breath, asking me how I feel today? Or do you really wanna know? I’m completely unconnected, constantly rejected, like everything I’ve ever loved is coming down. I’m drowning in emotion, in the middle of the ocean, never knowing when it’s over and I’m going down. That’s how I feel.” Tommy stopped her again, this time it was because she sounded dull. Take three started, and then at the same spot she was stopped again. Still not enough emotion for a song that was about emotions. Right. Mack breathed in as take four started. As she neared the chorus, she took a deep breath and pressed her hands to the head phones. The voice that came from her wasn’t hers, but it was. It held so much emotion that it was scary for her. That was it.

There was no pause as they continued on in the song. Mack had this nailed. “I know I signed up for this game where everybody knows my name, and now they own… a little piece of me. My happiness fell off the track, and I’d do anything to get it back. Give this all, I’d give this all away. Did you just waste your breath, asking me how I feel today? Is that a place you wanna go?” The emotions she sang into the chorus were amazing, and Tommy watched with pride. She was really an outstanding performer. She took all her experience from her life and used it. “Then you see me, you say you don’t even know me. Couldn’t pick me out of a line up. The girl you know is so far gone, and I’m in hiding – living life undercover. Smiling face for the camera, well, I’m not long for this world. Ohhhh ohhh ahhh. Ohhhh ohhh ahhh. Ohhhhhhhh ahhhhh. I’m completely unconnected, constantly rejected, like everything I’ve ever loved is coming down. I’m drowning in emotion, in the middle of the ocean, never knowing when it’s over and I’m going down. That’s how I feel. Then you see me, you say you don’t even know me.”

Mack smiled as she looked up at Tommy, but her smile disappeared. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she took the head phones off her head and left the recording booth. She couldn’t get one song recorded without an interruption from someone she didn’t want to see at all. First, Nelson. Now, “Jamie?” This was no trick, no magic. This was Jamie. “What are you doing here?” her voice was full of confusion as she shot Tommy a look. Tommy shrugged and turned to work on her song that she had just recorded. Why was it that all of these people chose to show up on the day she decided to get back to work.

[Mackenzie Holden]

“Hey, Rock Star, can we talk… eum… alone?”

OK. So he wasn’t shouting at her, that was a good sign, right? Mack chewed on her bottom lip as she looked over at Tommy who was busying himself with “How I Feel.” Oh, what a load of help he was. She looked back to Jamie and nodded once before walking past him and opening the door to the lounge. She looked over at the kitchen and saw that Tommy must have done something with the sandwiches, that or someone else got to them. She didn’t have too much time to worry about the missing sandwiches, though, because Jamie had lead her over to the couch and sat down beside her. Mack tilted her head to the side, as she waited for whatever it was that Jamie had wanted to talk to her about. His brown hair had grown quite a bit since she had last seen him, and his sense in style had changed some, too. But over all he was still the same Jamie. Still the same dorky and awkward Jamie. There was silence as Jamie sat and twiddled his thumbs, and Mack was growing quite agitated, “Look, Jamie, if you don’t want to talk… we don’t have to.” The moment the words escaped her mouth, she felt herself regret it because she really did want to talk to Jamie. She wouldn’t do something he didn’t want to do, though, and she wouldn’t force him to do it, either. She wasn’t Nelson.

“No, I want to talk, I just… I don’t think I can say the things I’ve been wanting to say.” How hard could apologizing be? Because, he was going to apologize. Mack hadn’t done anything besides not like him. Perhaps if she hadn’t liked Jack she would have spared two broken hearts, hers and Jamie’s. If he wasn’t going to apologize, though, Mack didn’t know what he could possibly have difficulties saying. Jamie never had any problems with words. It was a gift of his, putting his thoughts and feelings into words that touched and made the reader or listener feel so moved. Even guilty on some occasions. It was because of this gift that Mack didn’t say anything. She knew that even though Jamie had the gift of a writer… it took him awhile to get to what he was saying. He was his own worst critic and nothing he said ever sounded good enough to him even though it could sound like an angel was speaking to Mack. This particular angel looked up at Mack and then did a double take; “Your hair’s red.” He stated bluntly. Oh, real smooth angel of mine.

“Um, yeah, new management means old hair.”

“It looks good.”

“Thanks,” Mack ran her fingers through her hair subconsciously, “Jamie, I know you didn’t want to talk about my hair. What is it?” She didn’t mean to sound snappy, but it came out that way. Of course, she was slightly agitated with the fact that he had dragged her out of studio and Tommy time to just sit there and talk, awkwardly, about her hair. The only reason she hadn’t gotten up and walked away yet was because this was Jamie. Jamie who had seen her in the depths of the depression, Jamie who had been there for her when things were really rough. Jamie who deserved more than a cold shoulder from a girl who thought she knew what was best for her life. If Jamie was taken aback by her snappy tone of voice, he didn’t show it; actually, he looked like he had been expecting it. With a deep breath, Jamie turned so his left leg was on the couch and his arm was draped beside him on the back of it. He took a couple more moments to get what he wanted to say organized in his head and then he let her have it.

“I’ve been a jerk, and not just a little jerk that you would see pushing some little kid into a sandbox at the playground. I’ve been a colossal jerk. If they gave awards out for the Jerk of the Year category, I would have won. I shouldn’t have stopped being your friend because of Jack. I mean, I was always there for you before he came along into your life; why couldn’t I still be there for you when he was a part of your life? I was just being selfish and letting the feelings I had for you that you didn’t return get in my way of being a good friend.” He paused here for a moment and sent her a playful smirk, “I can’t take all jerk credit, though. You had no right teasing me the way you did at the club. You used me, and I didn’t ever think you would. I admit, I might have enjoyed it a bit, but still… it was wrong.” Mack shook her head a moment, as if saying she already knew that. She did know it was wrong, she knew it was wrong the moment she did it – and she had apologized for it. What good was it going to bring for him to bring it up? “I’m sorry, basically, and I hope we can be friends again.”

He watched her with waiting eyes, waiting for her to accept his apology. She would have, too, if the thought that all of this happened two years ago hadn’t crept into her mind. She stared at him before shaking her head again; “Why couldn’t you have said those words two years ago, Jamie? They would have meant so much more to me then, but now they’re just too little too late. I believe you’re sorry, I really do, but it’s shocking to see it took you forever to come around to the mature adult you are. Jamie, you’re eighteen. Two years ago you were sixteen and I was fourteen and I needed you more than I ever did before. If you had said those words to me then, I would have accepted it and welcomed you back with open arms. But things have changed now, I’ve changed now. You’ve probably changed, too. Maybe… maybe life’s just not meant for us to be friends.”

“You can’t be serious…” he said quietly after Mack had finished talking.

“I am. I’m sorry,” Mack leaned over and kissed his cheek before standing from her seat on the couch; “Bye, Jamie.” She headed back into the studio, knowing that she probably made a mistake but it felt like it was the right thing. Could there be such a thing?

[Mackenzie Holden]

Mack closed the door behind her, leaning against it as a support to her suddenly exhausted body. She covered her face and slid to the floor with her head in her hands. Her fingers entangled her red hair and tugged, only to entangle themselves even more and tug again and repeat the action over and over as tears rolled down her cheeks for the second time that day. “I push everyone away,” she whispered loud enough for Tommy to hear. Tommy who had risen from his seat and taken a seat beside her, his back against the wall next to the door when he had seen her enter and sink to the floor. “You say I don’t, Tommy, but I do. There’s no other way of explaining it. Everyone I’ve loved and who has ever loved me enough to let me hurt them, I push away.” She pulled her hands from her head and looked at Tommy through the space between her arm and her shoulder. He didn’t say anything, and she wondered why, but the answer came to her all too soon. She wasn’t done talking. “Jamie was always there for me, and then one day we have a falling out, he stops being my friend and now he turns up and asks for our friendship back, and what do I do? I turn him down and push him away. I say that it’s too late and that his apology means nothing to me, or at least not nearly as much to me as it could have two years ago.” She shook her head as she let her arms drop to rest on her knees. “I’m just like this curse that everyone keeps coming into contact with and all I do is hurt and kill spirits.”

“Don’t say that,” Tommy finally spoke. His voice full of pain as he said it, “Mack, it hurts me to see you like this. You’re a great girl, and you deserve better than putting yourself down. People do things they think are best at the time, and times change. So, maybe denying Jamie’s apology was the best thing for now, and then maybe later on it won’t be. Then, if you go back to him and you apologize – and he accepts it; then he meant his apology. If he turns you away… then he didn’t mean it this time, and he probably never will.” Mack sighed and leaned her head against the door, her eyes watching Tommy as he continued to talk. “Andrews should know what this is doing to you, and he should care about that. You’ve cried twice today, over two completely different guys, and not once have I heard sense come out of your mouth after you’ve done it. You loved Jack and you loved Jamie, you loved them enough to be heart broken over them when they disappeared. You might have loved each one of them differently, but it was a love strong enough to make you feel pain. In my opinion, that is what Andrews should be apologizing to you for. Not for being a jerk to you about you seeing Jack.” He was done now, Mack knew it. Just by the way he shifted his gaze away from her. He was done saying what he would, but there was something he was holding back from her. Mack didn’t press, though, because she knew it wouldn’t get her anywhere.

Mack smiled softly, “Thanks, Tommy. You’re a great friend,” she reached up and kissed his cheek softly before whispering in his ear, “please don’t disappear from me.”

Tommy let out a shaky breath and pulled her to him in a hug, “I won’t.” He closed his eyes as she hugged him back, “I won’t,” he repeated. And he wouldn’t. Or at least he had no intention to. Mack had become a significant part of his life, even if he didn’t realize how big of a significance she had become; he knew that life wouldn’t be the same without her in it. They sat there, in silence, for at least ten minutes before there was a gurgle from somewhere near Mack. He looked down at her, “Was that your stomach?” he asked in disbelief.

Mack broke away from the hug and laughed, “Kind of. I didn’t really get to eat that sandwich, y’know.” She stood from the floor and offered her hand for Tommy to take, which he did. Once he was standing, Mack opened the door and motioned for him to exit. He turned to do so, and Mack pushed him in the back causing him to stumble slightly and chuckle before turning around and grabbing her around her stomach and throwing her over his shoulder. “Tom Quincy! This isn’t funny!” She protested as she kicked her legs wildly in the air. Tommy didn’t respond, he just held her legs as he walked into the make shift kitchen and pulled the sandwiches out of the fridge. “I’m serious, Tommy! Everything’s going fuzzy!” He chuckled as she continued to kick while he walked into the lounge and toward the couch that she and Jamie had been sitting on previously. Thankfully, Jamie had disappeared. Without a word, Tommy dumped Mack on the orange couch and she collided with the cushioned surface as ungracefully as she could. Mack didn’t move, she just lay on the couch, her red hair spread out around her. “Y’know, that was almost as fun as when you dropped me on the grass, almost.” Tommy chuckled and picked up her legs so he could sit down underneath them before handing her sandwich to her on the plate while he ate his sandwich without one. Mack took it and smiled to herself before taking a bit of the sandwich that was bound to be horrible, after all she made it.

They ate in silence, Tommy tickling her legs every now and then and smirking over at her. But over all, they ate in quiet peacefulness. It wasn’t until Mack was near the middle of her sandwich that she realized something was off about it. She looked down at the sandwich in her hand and smiled. “This is yours,” she looked up at Tommy who was polishing off the remaining corner of his sandwich. “You made this one and you ate the one I made.” He merely shrugged and shoved her legs off him so he could get something to drink, but Mack followed him with her eyes in admiration. It was just a sandwich, but it meant a lot to her… it was only something they could understand and it would be pointless to try and put it into words. Mack bit into her sandwich again, this time with content.

[Mackenzie Holden]

((This post is taking place the following weekend of the first five.))

“I’ve decided something,” a voice said. Tommy whirled around from the fridge in the kitchenette at G-Major to see someone who he thought was Mack with her hair up in a hat. He was about to ask what was with the cap, when she held up her hand to stop him. “I’ve decided that Nelson can’t afford to release me from my contract, thus…” she reached up and pulled off the hat from her head. Her hair, which had been red for only a week before, fell down in long blonde locks. It brushed her shoulders and her bangs fell into her blue eyes. Mack smiled and ruffled her hair up a bit to give it that natural look she liked and then put her hands on her hips with a questioning expression on her face. Tommy’s eyes were bulging out of his head as he reached over to touch her now blonde hair. She felt something churn in her stomach as he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and then grinned. Mack instantly knew that he liked it, even if he didn’t say it. It was in his own crystal blue eyes. “I didn’t like it red anymore, because it reminded me too much of who I used to be. I’m not that person anymore, Tom. I’ve grown as a person. I’m so much more mature than I was three years ago. I’ve grown up considerably, and my music has reflected that.” Mack traced her index finger over her forehead, dragging her bangs out of her eyes as a smile crossed her face. “It doesn’t look bad, does it? I did it at school with magic, so… it shouldn’t look uneven or anything.”

Tommy was still staring at her with the blue eyes of his, and he wasn’t the one who answered her. “So, you’ve decided to disobey me for some silly reasoning about you ‘growing up,’ is that it, Mackenzie?” Nelson’s voice was unmistakable, but Mack found herself wishing it was. She let out a slow breath as Tommy let his hand drop and leaned against the counter as Mack turned around to face Nelson.

“Um, yeah, that’s it.” Mack tilted her head to the side, her eyes challenging Nelson as she crossed her arms and took a step toward him; “You can’t release me from my contract, N. I am the only artist you have right now. I am the only artist that you might have for awhile. I know that when Georgia left a lot of her clients left with her, and you should have expected that. The only reason I’m not leaving is because of Tommy, and because of that you will let me keep my hair blonde and the only say you will have in my music is the final order of the tracks. Are we clear?” Her eyes never dropped the gaze from Nelson. He knew she was right.

“Crystal, but I suggest you get into that studio and start recording.”

“Oh, you can count on it.” Mack smiled mockingly and then reached behind her to grab Tommy’s hand and pull him to the studio. The moment they were in there, she squealed and threw her arm around his neck. “I didn’t think it would actually work! I thought that he might call me on my bluff and pull out this hot new artist.” She exclaimed into Tommy’s neck as she hugged him tight. Tommy chuckled as his arms encircled her waist. He lifted her off the ground and twirled her around before placing her back down. Mack looked up at Tommy a moment, chewing on her lip, before she grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him into the recording booth. “I’ve got something I want to show you, and then I want to propose a new song.” She grinned at him before pushing him onto the stool and grabbing her guitar from the rack on the wall. She pulled up her own stool and sat on it, situating herself so she could play the song she had written. “Ok, ready?” She strummed the guitar and began to sing; “I’m getting up now; the sun is burning my eyes and I ache. I’m living on a freeway, running low on heart and good mistakes. I’m taking it to living, just living all the lies I have to live. I’m paying off this feeling, knowing that it’s time to be forgiven.” Mack had been watching Tommy as she sang, but now she looked down at her guitar as she switched chords. “If I could only come around, just stop and turn around; am I out of my mind for faking what’s inside of me? It’s like I’m walking on another thin line, where the fools keep on thinking I am blind. I’m waiting for the day, I’m walking on another thin line.”

Mack looked up again, feeling Tommy’s eyes on her the whole time; “I’m wide awake now, it’s getting dark and I can’t see my way. I’m living through the game now, by watching every word that I might say. And now I’ve gotta come around, and stop and turn around; am I out of my mind for faking what’s inside of me? It’s like I’m walking on another thing line, where the fools keep on thinking I am blind. I’m waiting for the day. No, no, no I’m in the middle of a crime. Taking left what’s mine. As I fade away. With everything I am.” She continued to strum, as Tommy stood and moved over to stand behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “With everything I am, with all I have to stand, I’m not gonna fade, oh no! Dragon tears and cover songs, when I’ve done nothing wrong. I just don’t belong…” Here Mack slipped into a series of ‘da da’s as her guitar strumming grew into the chorus again. One more time she sang the chorus, and then she faded the guitar playing out. When it was all silent again, Mack looked up at Tommy behind her and shrugged.

“That was good, I suppose I now know where you got the fire to stand up to Nelson,” was Tommy’s reply. Mack felt her jaw drop as she stood from the stool and propped her guitar up against it.

“Is that all you have to say Quincy?” she asked incredulously.

Tommy smirked and moved toward her with his hands in his pockets, “Nah, I have more I can say; much more.”

“Then why won’t you say it?” Mack teased as she put her hands on her hips and stared up at him. It was so hard to believe that when they had first met, Mack had hated him. She stared up at him as he moved closer still to her, “Huh, Quincy? You scared? You too big a chicken to tell me what you think?” She held a smirk on her lips as she goaded him.

“No, I’m not a chicken.”

“Then what is it, Little Tommy Q.? Why can’t you just sa-!” His lips crushed against hers, silencing her. It came as a shock, a big one. Never had Mack thought about Tommy kissing her, never had she felt… like she had lead him on to. Had she lead him on? Even as these thoughts whirled in her mind, Mack felt herself kissing him back. She moved to push him away, weakly, but he grabbed her wrists gently enough. He’s 21, he’s 21. You’re 16. He’s 21. She kept thinking to herself over and over and over again. How many years difference was that? Her mind was spinning nearly too much for her to subtract. This is wrong, it’s… wrong. “Tommy,” she mumbled through a break in the kiss, “Tommy, I’m 16.” As if those were the magic words, Tommy dropped her hands and backed away forcefully. His eyes wandered over her bewildered face before he headed toward the door to the studio. He opened the door and rushed out as Mack called after him, begging him to stop running. What good would that bring, though?

[Mackenzie Holden]

Behind G-Major there was an alley that was used to reach the storage space where they kept all of the musical equipment. Mack had gone back there often enough to think about whatever was going on in her life. She especially spent a lot of time back in the alley when her, her mother, and her sister were all living in the studio. It had been too crowded for her to think in any musical sense. Now, as Mack opened the door to the back alley, she felt her heartbeat quicken. Tommy had just kissed her. He had, hadn’t he? She hadn’t imagined it and then accidentally kissed him, had she? No, that wasn’t possible. Mack hadn’t ever thought of kissing Tommy. Since that was the occasion, she couldn’t help but wonder why he had done it. Had he done it because he wanted to know what it was like to kiss a 16 year old? Was he some creep-o? No, Mack knew the answer deep down her heart wasn’t that he was a creep-o, but because there had been so many intimate moments, so many moments between them that he had to have felt something. Right? Well, there was only one way to find out. Mack stepped down the steps to the alley and looked to her left which led out to the street and then to her right which led to the storage space. She pulled her leather jacket closer to her body, because even though it was spring it was still a bit chilly, as she walked down the alley toward the storage area. Her boots clicked as she walked, her eyes searching for Tommy in every corner. She didn’t have to look too hard. He was sitting in his blue Viper, his head resting against the head rest, his eyes closed. Mack let out a small breath before she made her way to the passenger side of the car. She rapped on the window, and Tommy opened his eyes; letting his head roll to the left to look at her before lifting his gaze to the roof of the car.

“Tommy,” Mack began as she opened the door and slid in on the leather interior. Tommy’s car was the one thing he ever really seemed to care about, so he took really good care of it. “Tommy, I…”

“Mack, don’t. It was a stupid, I don’t… I don’t know what came over me.” She turned in her seat so she could face him without having to turn her head.

“It wasn’t… stupid. Just confusing? Yeah, I think that’s an accurate term. I mean, I haven’t… we haven’t… I thought…” she chewed on her bottom lip as she stared at him, trying to catch his gaze. He continued to stare up at the ceiling of his car, though, Mack knew he was listening just by the way his eyes didn’t move from one spot of the ceiling to the next. “Did… did you mean to? I mean, that was… an idiotic question… but… not really if you think about it. You could have been thinking about doing it and then actually ended up doing it, but then… why were you even thinking about it?” Mack’s eyes looked straight at Tommy, willing him to look at her. He didn’t for awhile, in fact the only thing he did was stare up at the ceiling of his car for another ten minutes. Finally, with Mack still staring at him; Tommy looked over at her. She tilted her head as he opened his mouth to say something. “Tommy, please just say it… say something, anything! This is driving me nuts!”

“What do you want me to say Mack? That I’ve wanted to kiss you since you were crying over that pathetic excuse for a boyfriend? That I’ve had to restrain myself from just blurting out that you mean so much more to me than you could ever mean to him?” Tommy’s voice was loud as he took his gaze from her, “Because I can say all that, I can say all that I’ve been wanting to say for weeks, but it won’t mean anything. It won’t change a thing. You’re still 16, and I’m still 21, and that’s that.” As Mack was about to say something, Tommy started the car and sped out of the alley. She had to grip the seat as she turned to face the front so she wouldn’t be tossed back and forth. She buckled her seat belt with trembling fingers as she thought over what Tommy had just said. Had she missed something? Had she… missed some signal Tommy had been sending to her for the past month or so? Had she been sending him signals without realizing it? Mack chewed this over in her mind as Tommy drove them to Merlin knew where. She looked out the window as Tommy continued to drive in silence, and then she looked at him when he spoke again. “Merlin, Mack. You’re 16! This kiss… it can’t have meant anything!” He hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hands, causing Mack to jump in surprise. He turned the car down a street and then through some dodgy side streets. Mack sank back into her seat, not wanting to look out the window anymore. “It didn’t mean anything, swear to me it didn’t mean anything. Swear it!” Mack looked over at Tommy with tears in her eyes.

“How am I supposed to swear something I don’t believe? How am I supposed to sit here and listen to you go on about how it’s wrong and how it’s not a thing smiled at, because that is what you are saying when you repeat my forsaken age, and know that it meant more than nothing!?” Her voice was rising with emotion as she stared at him in disbelief, “I can sit there and say ‘I swear’ until my lips fall numb and my voice dies; but I won’t mean it, because it did mean something. I know you, Tommy! You don’t do something unless you mean it! You never have. You have too much heart to do something you don’t mean.” Tears were pouring from her crystal blue eyes as she yelled at him, but she quickly turned away to look out the window again. They had moved away from the dodgy streets and were nearing what seemed to be a wood. Tommy looked over at Mack and then let out a sigh before turning his viper into the wood and driving deep into it before shutting the car off while it was parked and getting out. Mack didn’t pay much attention to his actions, her eyes were cloudy with tears by now. Tears of anger and confusion. When Tommy jerked open her door, reached over and unbuckled her seatbelt, and pulled her out of the car – Mack let out a shriek; “Don’t touch me!”

Tommy merely shook his head and backed away to give her space; “You know, sometimes you can be so 16.”

“Oh, yes, Tommy; let’s remind me of why I can’t enjoy a kiss from someone who really likes me for me some more, eh? Because we haven’t done that nearly enough yet, have we?” Mack’s voice held venom as she spoke, but she couldn’t help it when it cracked as fresh tears poured from her eyes. Tommy sighed again and took a step toward her.

“Will you just, walk with me? Please? There’s something I want to show you.”

“Walk with you? In the woods?”

“Yes, in the woods.” He mimicked with a smirk. Mack wiped at her tears before nodding. She walked silently with her arms crossed and her eyes straight ahead. They walked in silence for the first fifteen minutes, before Tommy broke it again, “When I was younger, your age, I used to come here to think all the time. To… work on my singing. The acoustics are amazing in this wood. It was also always really peaceful. No one ever would come in and if they did they wouldn’t find me because I was too far into the wood to be found.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Can’t you just shut up for five minutes and let me talk?” Mack shut her mouth as they continued to walk. Tommy let out another sigh as they entered deeper into the wood, “As I was saying. I used this place for many things, but the number one thing I used it for was thinking. This was my special place. When I had fights with my parents, I came here, when I had trouble with the other guys on tour, I came here; and,” he stopped walking and Mack followed his lead, staring at him with her arms still crossed, “when I had issues with girls, I came here. There was something so alluring about this wood that I was able to just come here, think about it for a few moments, and then leave within a half hour fully refreshed and ready to face anything.” Mack raised an eyebrow as Tommy took a step toward her. She didn’t flinch or pull away when he rubbed her arms, she just stood there, waiting for him to continue. “I’ve spent the past two weeks here; thinking. Thinking about you, about how you’ve been so depressed, and about how I’d give anything, anything, to make that depression go away.” Mack closed her eyes as more tears welled in them. Why? Why? Why, that was the only word running through her head.

[Mackenzie Holden]

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you want to end my depression?” It was an easy enough question, wasn’t it? Mack looked up at him, her eyes searching his face for any recognition to an answer. There were birds fluttering over head and the only sound that could be heard was the chirping of them. Mack felt uneasy as she stared up at Tommy, but there was another part of her that felt rather comfortable. There was something about Tommy sharing this place with her that caused her to just forget how annoyed she was with him. Mack uncrossed her arms and ran her fingers through her blonde hair as she dropped her gaze to the ground. There was more silence between them and then Tommy spoke, answering her question.

“Because, Mack, for the first time in years; you were someone who understood me. You were someone I cared about and was willing to do anything for. For the first time in years, I felt like life could be bright again. Then, you came back this last week and you were in tears, you were snappy, you were… livid with Jack. You wanted nothing more than to forget him, and even with me telling you how amazing you were… you wouldn’t forget him. You couldn’t get over him. You didn’t want to.” Mack closed her eyes with a groan as she put her hand over them, but Tommy wasn’t finished; “I held you as you cried, I comforted you, I helped you put your emotions into songs. And you still wouldn’t get over him.”

“You still haven’t answered my question, Tom. Why? Why do you want to help me through this?”

“Because it’s what friends do! It’s what people who care about other people do!”

“OK, alright,” Mack dropped her hand and opened her eyes to stare up at him, “so, onto the bigger question. Why did you kiss me?” The million dollar question. Tommy held her gaze a moment before he looked down, causing Mack to tilt her head impatiently.

“I… I don’t know what came over me. All I could think about was how far you’ve come, how far you’ve improved. You said you were a different person, you said you had grown, and you were right. You prove that to me everyday. It’s in your music, in your lyrics, it’s in you. The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you handle Nelson. You aren’t that 14 year old wanna be rock star anymore, Mack. You’re it, girl, you’re the real thing. You’ve matured into this spectacular young woman and all I could think about was how much you’ve grown up, how much we’ve grown closer. Perhaps I wasn’t… thinking straight. Maybe I was out of my mind when I did it, but even if that were so… I still did it,” at this he looked up at her, “and like I said in the car… we have to pretend like it never happened.” As those words fell from Tommy’s lips, Mack felt the tears roll down her cheeks again. Why were those words hurting her so much? They shouldn’t really hurt her. She had never thought of Tommy more than a great friend, had she? No. Her mind had been really wrapped up in Jack. She hadn’t felt like Tommy was anything more to her. But now as she thought about it, Mack knew that she couldn’t see her life without Tommy there. At least, not her musical career. And she felt such a strong connection to him through how much he had helped her. Tommy took a look at her face and sighed again as he moved closer to her, “It’s not like I want to, Mack. It’s just… what would people say? I’m 21, you’re 16. There’s a five year age difference there. Besides,” Tommy reached over and caressed her cheek, “I don’t think you were really… ready for a kiss from some other guy. Even if the some other guy is me.”

Mack squeezed her eyes shut as she caved in and leaned against Tommy, using him as support. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her chin, and they stood there for ten minutes in silence. She was just enjoying being able to lean on Tommy, because she figured her legs would give in she hadn’t been. “Why?”

“There’s that why word again, why what, Mack?”

“Why do I push every guy away from me? Why can’t I figure out what to do? Can you tell me? Can you tell me, please? Just, tell me so I can fix it. I want to fix it!”

“I can’t help you, there, Mack.”

“Why not?!”

“Because you’re asking the wrong guy.” Mack covered her eyes with her left hand and then placed her right over her left as she started to drop to the ground. “Oh, no you don’t.” Tommy said as he picked her up and supported her with his arm around her waist. “I don’t think you have anything you need to fix, Mack,” he said after a moment of silence. Mack didn’t say anything, she just leaned against Tommy as he held her up. Her support. That’s what he always was. Her support. It felt good to know that through all the trash that was going on, Mack had someone she could lean on and know that he would hold her up. “We should head back, rock star.” He whispered as she shifted her weight from being completely on him to standing on her own two feet. “C’mon, we’ll get some recording out of this day, yet.” Mack nodded and headed back in the general direction of the car, leaving Tommy standing in the middle of the clearing. He looked up at the heavy canopied sky and let out a lengthy sigh, “You like torturing me,” he said to no one in particular. Or perhaps he was saying it to a higher being. Well, if someone heard, they didn’t respond. Tommy shook his head, shoved his hands in his pockets, and followed Mack to the car.