Catch Me When I Fall ((Closed))

[Jack Rendel S5]

((This thread was made to hopefully help me get back on track. To get that muse I lost. Catch Me When I Fall is going to detail Jack's entire summer and the events that happen in it. So please, don't reply. I may invite a few people in later but otherwise, it is closed.))

It was summer. Most children considered this a time of celebration. Where they got to go back to their families and be free of homework and such. To Jack, it was like receiving a death sentence. Watching Hogwarts fade behind him left one of the worst sensations he had ever had the misfortune to endure: Dread. A heart-wrenching dread. Leaving the only place he called home to go to hell. That was probably the best word to describe Rendel Manor: Hell. It means so many things. Fear, desolation, hatred, loneliness, bitterness. A fiery pit in which even the most determined souls are conquered; aka Rendel Manor. Had he a choice, he would have never left that stone castle. Dealing with teachers, homework and classes was so insignificant to him now. The only thing that mattered was surviving through the summer and returning to Hogwarts with at least a little bit of sanity. What more could he ask for?

Enduring the train ride was difficult. With the knowledge of what he had yet to face came a price. He couldn't concentrate. A dark cloud hung over him, making him a miserable boy who couldn't break a smile. Worst of all was facing Padme, who looked just as weathered. Would he be able to emerge from the storm? Was he just over-exaggerating about the events soon to come? All would be answered when he returned home. Home. So many people used that word carelessly. They had always known a home, always had one. Had always been loved and cared for. The word home meant nothing to Jack. It was something to be desired but never would it be in his grasp. Hogwarts came so close, so very close, yet it was his school, not a place where he had loving caring parents. No, he could never gain 'home.' Those who had it were to be envied. Those who didn't received his empathy.

Waiting at the station was just as trying as the train ride. Watching others be enveloped in hugs by loved ones was more than enough to make Jack grind his teeth with jealousy. Some were greeted with presents and kisses, greetings of love and warmth. Jack was left standing at the side-lines, wondering what he had done to deserve this. This torture. Having his heart's inner desires dangled in front of his face in such a tantalizing manner yet knowing that he could never gain it. Never. He watched with blank eyes as people departed, leaving him there alone with his own squirming conscious. Minutes seemed to crawl by in the form of hours and ever so slowly darkness began to cover the world like a warm blanket. Jack shifted a loose pebble on the ground idly, his mind elsewhere. Sooner than he would have liked, a big shiny Mercedes pulled up. Even though the windows were tinted, Jack knew who was in there. His heart plummeted and he froze. An impatient horn screamed when he didn't make a move to go to the car. He felt like he needed to heave; his mind reeled. Taking a deep breath, he uttered a quick prayer before trotting to the car. "God, if you really are there, please watch over me. Have mercy. Amen."

[Jack Rendel S5]

Scenery washed by in an assortment of colors. Nothing really stood out but nothing faded either. It was an endless swirl of rapidly coming and going colors. Trees, flowers, grass, you name it. Scotland was a beautiful place full of flowering plants and rich grass. Jack had never known anything different except for London which could never compare. A dreary place, London, so as it was, it was nothing like Scotland. Heavy clouds hung in the sky, enclosing the moon. Scotland was the best to see at night. Wind would ripple through the grass in the moonlight and an eerie glow was set on everything. During the whole ride Jack had watched as miles fell behind their car. It was almost tradition. After a few gruff 'how are you' and 'you look well' a silence would fall heavy in the car. Haille had yet to say a word while Father muttered a few things under his breath as he drove. Jack remained at the window, never looking away but never really seeing. It was a blissful way of almost forgetting where he was. Almost.

"Damn muggles," Father suddenly muttered louder than normal while pounding on the horn. Jack watched through the window as muggles who were partying in the middle of the street looked up in surprise and confusion. He vaguely wondered what they were partying about before remembering that not everyone was as miserable as he. Settling farther down in his seat, Jack closed his eyes as Father rambled on a few more curses as the muggles hastened to get out of his way. Jack could feel the tension that enveloped Haille beside him. He didn't care though. He didn't care about anything except how he was supposed to get out of this. Even jumping out the car was a realistic option but then again, where would he go? To Padme? To Mack? Nah, he was already in Scotland and that was a hell of a long walk. He would just have to deal with isolation this summer. After a few minutes that seemed to crawl by, the muggles finally got all their stuff out of the street, allowing Father access to our house which was only a few miles away.

"The sooner we have real authority the better," Father raged as the drove on into the night. Jack grimaced; he knew Father was talking about the Dark Lord. "He will have all these muggles out of the street, out of our lives. Imprisoned as they should be," he continued. Jack shot a look at Haille and saw a tear slid down her cheek, glowing in the moonlight that cascaded through the window. "You forget yourself, Father," he remarked, looking at the back of Father's head. "Remember that it was you who adopted a muggle in the first place." It took a few seconds for Father to register what his son had just said and by that time they were pulling in to the driveway. Turning in his seat, he glared at Jack under bushy brows. Haille got out of the car quickly as if Death Eaters were on her tail. The sound of the front door slamming rang in Jack's ears long after it had been done.

"Do not contradict me, boy," Father rumbled, his eyes burning holes into Jack's. He couldn't stand it; Jack looked away only to be reprimanded by a sharp pain on his head. Crying out, he clutched Father's hand which was grabbing his hair, forcing him to look straight into his eyes. Tears sprung to Jack's, making everything blurry. "Look at me!" Father roared. "I will have none of this during the summer, do you understand me! I'm done with this disrespect, with your cheeky remarks. I will not tolerate it anymore, am I making myself clear?" He waited for a few seconds but when no reply came, he sighed and got out of the car, closing the door with a slam and stalking to his house. "I love you too," Jack whispered into the darkness when Father was long gone.

[Jack Rendel S5]

Sunlight poured into the room, ignoring the curtains that had been pulled forward to resist it. A soft breeze blew through the window that was just barely ajar. Tendrils of air ruffled a reluctant Jack's sheets, making him stir. All other members of the Manor were blissfully sleeping, not making a slightest noise of protest as the rays of dawn crept toward their beds. The curtains flew forward on a sudden gust, making Jack's whole room ignite in a torrent of light. Blinking profusely, he rubbed at his eyes until they became sore and rolled over in an attempt to get away from the light. It wasn't of any use, even when the curtain won the struggle and covered out some of the blinding rays. It was just too bright out and what with it persisting, Jack figured that it wouldn't work had he tried to slumber again. So instead he sat up, pulled off his covers, and prepared to welcome the day ahead of him.

Not that anything wonderful awaited him. He had yet to find something that he would look forward to each day. Such a thing would only be a passing fancy. Later it would retreat into the recesses of his mind, leaving him again forlorn when all else blossomed in the new day and new possibilities. He wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and forget his pestering worries but that was nigh impossible. Father didn't take lightly to his sleeping in and besides, waking up earlier than everyone else meant some hours of normality alone. He could escape scrutiny from Father and taciturn silence from Haille, none of which he welcomed in the first place. He was loathe to see them rise each day, ready for the ever repeating cycle to begin. With a sigh, Jack shot a glance in his mirror. A quick run through his hair and a tug on his sleeves and he was satisfied with his appearance.

No one awaited him on any of the four floors of Rendel Manor, much to his relief. That meant he had some time to himself, something to be grateful for. Stumbling into the kitchen (he was still weary from a sleep interrupted) Jack poured himself some cereal and dug into the rather mean meal. Looking about the kitchen, Jack's somewhat positive attitude diminished upon seeing all the muggle appliances that had once been proudly administered were now missing from the counters and shelves. It looked just as it had years ago before Haille had come to change their lives. Jack had predicted that this would come to pass but even as he surveyed the truth of his guess, it made him somber. Nothing would ever change Father, not love, not hate, and most certainly not a muggle he had adopted for ill-conceived means.

It was barely discernible among the white cabinets but while Jack was cleaning his dishes he noticed it. A note was pinned among the kitchen utensils, written in Father's pen. Taking it with trembling fingers, Jack skipped through it and felt his heart leap with joy. Father would be gone for the day, the whole day! He could hardly believe Father had trusted him to be alone; usually he would either drag Haille and Jack along or insist that events take place at the Manor and not at the original location. With a smile that was worth a thousand words, Jack placed the note on the counter so all could see, even if it only meant his muggle sister. Sister... the word was so misused. Padme and now Haille had come to call themselves that, but what was really in his heart of hearts? Did he believe what were only words? As he stared at the note carefully laid out on a counter that gleamed in the light of morning, Jack couldn't him but feel his outlook brighten considerably. He wanted to believe that good things could happen amiss bad things. That Rendel Manor was not a hellish hole as he had thought but a place he could soon come to call home. Maybe, just maybe. If he could break the chain, the cycle, the tradition - if he could become one on his own, then just maybe there was a possibility.