Try to Explain This! ((Mack))

[Padme Rendel S2]

The papers rustled as Padme flipped through them, closing her eyes against the on-coming dust. This room had been her haven a while ago, even with the atrocious heat. The papers were so old they looked as if they would crumble in her very fingers. She tried to stay calm although her hands were shaking so badly she dropped a few forms. Yes, that's what they were, forms. She was determined to find out all about this family once in for all! She was done with the secrets, the promises unkept, the lies. She was taking this into her own hands and was going to do what she had wanted to do ever since she found out about Jack. She found the same form the last year ago; the one about the hearing as to who would have custody over Jack. Padme hadn't really looked it over carefully but now she did. It was terribly boring and bland, but she read it thoroughly, not wanting to miss a word. It didn't make sense let alone give her any different directions to where this was going. She turned it over to see the back of it in case there was more to it, but instead found pictures. Eight in all, everyone taken at court. Roger and Tessa looked young but the dark shadows under their eyes made them look years older then they must have been. Tessa looked distraught and Roger, deeply troubled and confused. Why would he have been confused when he was the one who wanted Jack? She turned the picture over and read what someone had written there. "Tessa and Roger Rendel at the Court House." Padme shook her head and went to the next picture. One was of the Judge, another of the small Jury, another of Jack himself, who sat in a chair behind Roger, twiddling his fingers. He looked rather funny in his tweed jacket and combed back hair. Padme almost hadn't noticed him, for his hair almost looked black in the picture, not the rich brown it was now. Another one of Roger alone and another of Tessa and then one of Padme herself. She was sitting behind Tessa in a small dress, all alone just like Jack had been. Was the trail over her too? On the paper it hadn't mentioned her at all.....Intruiged, she went to the next photo, which contained four people. One woman with black flowing hair and immense beauty, a young, handsome man who sat next to the lady and two girls that looked about a year older then Jack. They both had red hair and identical features. Padme was startled at first but then realized they must be identical twins. They looked extremely out of place. Padme, confused, turned over the picture to read a most troubling sentence. "The most intimate relatives of Mrs. Tessa Rendel. The Dumas family which includes Daphne, Pierre and their twin children, Gisselle and Samantha." Padme almost dropped the picture. The most intimate relatives? Who were these people? Padme's....Aunt and Uncle? Cousins? Tessa had told her that her whole family had died in some accident......

"Padme?" Tessa called through the house. Padme hadn't heard the door open and hadn't been ready for this. She jumped, making a creak in the floor. In an instant, she could hear the thumping of footsteps coming up the attic stairway. Padme ran foreword, hurrying to hide away all the things she thought were evidence of her snooping. She put the pictures back on the clip attached to the back of the form, placing it back in the chest filled with sacred things and closed it just as the door slammed open and Tessa appeared, looking disheveled but terribly angry. She glared with her hands on her hips before looking at the thing Padme was near. Her eyes widened with surprise and she stepped foreword with anger. "You...Didn't open.....that....?" she asked nodding at the chest. Padme shook her head quickly, but she must have looked like a window-pane to Tessa. The two had known each other too long. She crossed the attic, grabbed Padme's arm, and dragged her along to the stairs and down. The went through the halls and past the bedrooms until the reached the stairs, which they went up and finally stopped at Padme's bedroom door. "Go in there and don't come out!" she breathed. Padme thought she detected a whiskey scent on her breathe. "Don't come out! I'll put your would-be dinner under the door, if it'll fit." she cried, becoming hysterical before slamming the door after thrusting Padme inside. Not even her Mother's attitude could change Padme's. She was afraid but happy she had done that. She pulled out the only thing she had brought with her from what she had looked through. The picture of the Dumas family. Who were they? Padme gazed at the picture long and hard before putting it under her pillow and cuddling under the blankets, suddenly feeling lonely and cold.

[Padme Rendel S2]

Padme yawned loudly under her covers as she stretched her tight muscles. It was almost ten in the morning. She grounded out all signs of sleep with her small fists before pulling off the covers. The day was humid and the blanket was sticking to her clothes, which were sticking to her skin. She kicked them off and sat up with a glare. She felt around her desk near her bed until she felt the picture of the Dumas family. Pulling it close to her, she looked at the faces closely. They looked familiar now; she had spent all night looking at them and that was why she was so tired. Yawning once more, Padme's stomach rumbled loudly. Her dinner hadn't fit under the door so she had gone hungry to bed. Hopefully Tessa would let her out soon..... She got up and tried to go quietly to the door but the floorboards refused to stay with her. They creaked and bellowed in protest so it had to be apparent to Mother that her daughter had awaken. Sighing loudly, Padme banged on the door after clearing her throat. "Mom! Mum! Come let me out! I'm hungry, Mum!" she cried, slamming her small fists on the door in the process. Nothing happened. No sound greeted Padme's ears as she waited for the resounding footsteps of her Mother coming up the steep stairway. It was all silent except for Padme's breathing. Wonderful. She was already out of the house. Gone until five in the evening.

The wire bent in the door knob as she attempted to pick the lock. Almost screaming in frustration, Padme tried for what seemed the millionth time to unlock herself from her room. Something snapped deep within the locking mechanism. Smirking with happiness, she opened the door slowly and stepped outside. The stairs seemed eerie and dark but Padme thundered down them without a second thought. Yep. Just as she had thought. No one in the kitchen, living room, or dining room. She was left alone. How could Mother have forgotten about her just like that? She squirmed slightly and sucked in her breath. The picture in her pocket burned her skin. Was she doing the right thing? Snooping through her Mothers' personal items that she had long buried in those chests in the hot attic? Padme tried to convince herself she was right although she still had second thoughts as she meandered up the stairs slowly. She reached the thick door which had started to rot and opened it slowly, cringing as it creaked loudly. Now she was in the attic. Her special place. Her information center. What would happen if she was caught in here again? Padme shuddered at the thought and looked around for something to help her. A small plastic round clock hung from the wall, covered in grim and dust. It was exactly what Padme wanted to see. She swept off the dust and dirt with shivers of disgust and when it was clean enough to read, she leaned back on her heels, satisfied. Turning around sharply, she spun on the five chests that Tessa kept hidden in the attic.

[Padme Rendel S2]

What was the matter with her? Padme was shaking from head to toe as she inched toward the chest that she had shifted through earlier. She kept on having horrible second-thoughts and warnings that would blare in her head so loud it hurt to just stand there, staring. Was this really right? She tried to make sense out of this question but she couldn't tell. Half of her was urging her on, saying that she should know these secrets of a families hidden past. It was her past too, so she really did have a right to know it. Plus, it could solve all these problems....The other side argued fiercely. Mother must have had a good reason for locking it all away. She hadn't wanted her daughter to know and Padme had to respect those desicions....What would she do if she didn't open it? Go on living like it was some dream or fairy tale that she had sought to believe? That it hadn't been real? That Gisselle and Natalie never existed? Padme breathed in deeply, only to cough with the dust that filled her lungs quickly. The attic was so very old and dusty. She felt alone and deserted, but the chest was there. It was there. She inched foreword until she was centimeters away. Reaching out with a throbbing, white hand, the warnings fired into action and died as she undid the latch and opened the old chest that could be the buried treasure.

The contents lay neatly in their trap, looking extremely white and or yellow. Padme stifled all breathing so she wouldn't smell the rotting parchment. At least, it looked like it was rotting. She wanted photos, not documents, which was all this trunk held. She saw no more information on the mysterious Dumas family. She really wanted to know more about her....cousins....Samantha and Gisselle. She didn't care much about Pierre and Daphne, their parents. They both looked nothing like Tessa. Maybe they were from Rogers' side? No, probably not. They looked nothing like him either. Padme's fine brown eyebrows connected together, confused and angry. She turned away from the chest and pushed the lid down, listening as it clicked shut. She walked as calmly as possible toward the next one, on tippy-toes in case Tessa came home suddenly again. The second chest looked newer, shinier, and smelled better, much to Padme's relief. She opened it without plugging her nose and stopped, preparing herself for anything, before opening it all the way. Inside was photos open photos. Pictures that were wrinkled, pictures that were expensive looking, pictures that looked as if they had never been touched. She stared down uncertainly before reaching hesitantly and picking up one. It was faded and distant, but a face was there, clear and perfect. It wasn't radiantly beautiful like Daphne but she looked....poor. There was no other word for it. Poor and helpless. She had beautiful golden hair that reached mid-back and great blue eyes that were lit with a fire that made Padme smirk. She very much like Tessa, except for the blonde hair. Everything else was the same; their skin texture, even. Their height, their nose, their eyebrows, their mouth, their....everything. Padme gaped in awe, confused even more. Who was this lady? It was definitely not Daphne, who had wavy hair and a beauty that came out clearly with makeup and jewelery. Where as, this girl, lady, was clearly poor but there was a certain aurora around her that the picture had captured....an innocence that Padme couldn't relate to. She was still in awe in the picture, and it was only the first out of many! She turned it around, hoping to see some sort of identification, but it was blank. There was nothing to it. This mysterious woman would stay with Padme. She would look at this as well as the Dumas family. Tucking it in her back pocket, she started to go through the rest.

It was all the same. Photos of the strange woman who looked like a clone of Mother. Everything looked so familiar to Padme it was slightly terrifying. She looked up from what seemed the fiftieth time and saw something else. It was a picture of the twins. Padme's eyes widened in delight. Finally, the twins! She smiled and looked down at them. They looked to be about Padme's age.....exactly. Eleven or ten. Their faces were like mirrors, yet they were showing totally different emotions. The girl on the left, whoever that was, wore a hesitant smile for the camera. In her face, Padme could read a certain happiness, reluctance, and nervousness, all rolled into one. The other identical twin, was wearing a face that Padme simply adored. She wasn't smiling but wearing a glare. Her upper lip was curled in disgust and her head was held with a superiority that ruled out the other. She smirked with arrogance and annoyance too. It was like a portrait of Padme's emotions. She blew off the dust on the photo and folded it in her back pocket. So far she had....three. Three pictures. The Dumas family, the twins, and the lady. Padme wrinkled her nose at the photos left, which was half the trunk. They probably were other pictures of the lady. All the others were too. Except for the spare two. Padme silently closed the lid and walked off, almost in a daze at her success for the day.

[Padme Rendel S2]

The music pounded through her veins, her blood, her head. It made her whole body pound with the rhythm. She couldn't control her thoughts any longer. They betrayed her just as Tessa had. Just as Mother had. It had all been lies, all lies. She was a freak. She really was. Padme couldn't hide the fact any longer. Tessa was a freak! A true, real freak. Padme hated her! Hated her so bad this music couldn't even measure the hate boiling in her blood. Why did she have to lie to Padme? Why....? Now that she knew the truth, Padme couldn't bear to face it. She wouldn't just because she couldn't. She would explode, rave and rant and scream until her voice would vanish in the mist that clouded her vision. She hated this house, her Father, her Mother, this music....Everything! It had ruined her life, that was for sure. She couldn't live with herself. Jack wasn't her brother any longer. It was hard, so hard that she bit her lip and bleed. He wasn't and never would be the true brother that she had wanted for a long time. As long as she remembered. No, there as no help for it. And Padme knew it. She knew it all now. She just couldn't face it, talk about it, or even think about it. Just because Tessa was drunk and throwing up in the bathroom didn't make Padme feel any better. She wanted revenge and she wanted where she belonged, which she wasn't sure where that was anymore. She hadn't heard the whole story; oh no, God, never would she want to hear the whole story! She was woebegone, lost, with no hope to light up her day. She hated herself for going into the damn attic. Why had she been so stupid and nosy? If she had only restrained herself, she wouldn't be like this. She could still dream that they would be a real family instead of a fake, foul family that had no name. Rendel meant nothing to her. She wasn't a Rendel. No, she could never be a real Rendel. It was in her blood, yes, but the name didn't apply to her anymore. The horrible, horrible truth hurt her. It hurt her bad. She had two siblings, that she had never met and probably never would. She might ask Jack about them but he would never know the truth. She couldn't tell him. It would be the cruelest thing if she did. After all, he was her.....friend? Not a brother.....Maybe a half brother, or maybe no relation at all. She hadn't forced it out of Tessa. Not that she had to force out anything. The woman was dead drunk and would tell her anything Padme desired. The music ended but the pounding hadn't left. Her head hurt and her frail heart was going to snap sometime soon. The truth was undeniable. Padme rocked on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest, feeling filthy. What was she? Was she even worth the name....pureblood? She had no idea who her mother or father was, the real ones. She didn't belong her, oh no. Her head rattled as her thoughts came to a sudden end. There was no escape. She was a Rendel no more. Dumas was her name. Padme Dumas.

[Padme Rendel S2]

The bed sheets were rumpled and unorganized, as well as her hair. She looked a complete mess; where was her sanity? She was like a rabid animal, trying to find a way to escape when she had locked herself in. It was horrible when she tried to escape something that was always following you, feasting on her flesh, your blood, your thoughs. Padme was weak, trembling, and yet filled with a rage that she had never felt before. It wasn't fair! She was Tessa's "darling" and always would be! She wasn't some girl who was...was....what was she? Padme didn't even know anymore. Was she a mudblood, raised from a muggle family. She had no idea who the Dumas family was and had no intention on finding out. Somethings were best left untouched and unsensored. She had learned that. The attic had once been her haven....no it was her hell. She had ripped up the pictures of her real family. Her mother's twin too. That was who she was after all. Tessa had spilled the beans. She had a twin sister who had an afair with her Daddy and made the two twins. Daphne, the magistic woman in the picture, was Padme's mother. Real mother. She was the only real daughter of Pierre and Daphne, right? Her heart wasn't there anymore. It was like brittle, crumpling to little bits every passing moment she thought about her unknown pass. She was related to Jack; they were cousins. In an odd way but she felt like they were on different planets. How was she going to survive after this? She had to tell someone....She did! Who though? Not Jack....if he knew it would tear him apart bit like bit. Padme hadn't been able to evade this but she wouldn't let Jack come to the same Fate as herself. Mack? Dixie? They were all available. What would they do when they saw Padme like...this? She hated the thought, but she really did need a shoulder to cry on. She heard the door creak open and she didn't have to look up and see who it was.

"Go away," Padme said in a voice unearthly like. She heard the door close and she was left in a worse state then before. Maybe she should have let Mother come in and say it had all been a lie, but Padme couldn't handle it. She wouldn't. Laying on her bed, she reached over to put on the radio. On came a song, Master of Puppets, but Metallica. Was Padme the master or the puppet? She had felt like a master so long...but she really had been a puppet on strings. She hadn't even known it. How could Mother have let her be the person she was now? Why had she let this come to pass? Padme rocked back and forth and continued even when the beat changed to Kelly Clarkson. It was another good song, Behind these Hazel Eyes. Padme didn't know what was behind hers' anymore, and she had better stopped thinking or her brain might explode. She reached tentivally toward the phone, it was her last resort. What else did she have to do?

"Jack?" she whispered into the reciever after dialing the Rendel number. "I'm here Padme. What are you calling for?" Padme stared at the phone. What was she calling for? Maybe it was because he life was falling apart before her very eyes. Yeah, Jack, that might be it. "Nothing you idiot. Have you ever heard of the Dumas name?" she spat, trying to sound like her normal self. She couldn't have done very well. Jack's voice was tinted with surprise and worry. "Are you alright?" Padme laughed cruelly. "Me? Alright? Of course. And if not, what would you do? Come flying across a few countries? I think not." Jack started to protest but Padme over-ride him. "Tell me who the Dumas family is!" she squealed, becoming hysterical. "Dumas. Dumas." Jack said, apparently racking his brain for any memory. "Oh. I know who they are. They live down the street from you! Didn't you know? They live in that big mansion house, bigger then my own. Roger always envied them....They have two daughters I think. Or maybe it's sons. I don't know. But they go to Hogwarts. One of them is in Slytherins but we have never spoken before....Why?" Padme stared at the phone before slamming it against the wall, where it landed with a thud. She could hear Jack's voice coming through but she didn't get it. Only when she heard the click did she scream and the tears began to start. She had lived across the street from them and...she had never known...Her real family had been there the whole time and Padme had been oblivious to it. What else was hidden?

[Padme Rendel S2]

The roof of the house could be seen blocks away. Maybe even a mile. It was so big Padme couldn't see the top. She stared at the house with indecision. This was where she was supposed to be? With the Dumas? She frowned. This was all wrong. She couldn't pick herself up. What was going to happen to her when they did find out? Or did they already know? Did they just....not want her? Her lower lip trembled as she gazed at the hard oak doors. She had heard the name before, she realized. The Dumas was a huge supporter of Voldemort. They gave everything but they never helped out with the dirty work. Padme wasn't sure why, but then again, Tessa never helped. She wasn't Mother any longer. Tessa Rendel was her name. Padme's legs grew weak and she crumbled on their lawn. She wanted someone to see her, look at her, recognize her as their own. She did catch a few stares, but not by the Dumas. By passersby, who stared at her knotty hair and rouge face. Her clothes were rumpled from a bad nights sleep. Her tears were gone now; she had almost cried an ocean last night. Her legs felt like big ice cubes, unable to move. She just sat and stared in wonder at the house that was meant to be her own. Why wasn't she living there now? Her thoughts were drowned in icy water as the door swung open!

Padme jumped to her feet so fast she tripped over herself, landing in a heap on the grass. She lay there, listening. Hoping they wouldn't see her. It was two girls....the twins! Padme gulped as she eyed their clothing. Perfect. Silky and it made their figure appear from this distance even. They must have been having a fiery argument over something that Padme couldn't hear. They squabbled and didn't see Padme laying there. She felt like a rat. Look at her clothing next to theirs. Her hair was awful while their long hair shone in the sunlight and was silky smooth. She envied them so bad her heart might have burst. She was all but a Dumas. She could never fit in with them, she realized. And now what? They went to Hogwarts too, Jack had said. She would see them and they would see her. Would they recognize her face and pin her out. What house were they in? They were six years older then Padme which was a vast difference in life. Would they ever accept her? Padme trembled violently. They hoped into the red convertible and drove off, their hair flying in the wind. It was blond, which didn't make sense. Padme was a rich brunette while they may have dark roots but their hair was just....golden. Like their wealth. Padme fell over in the grass, her head throbbing and her heart pounding so hard, it could have cracked a rib. What was she doing here? Spying. She picked herself up and stumbled back to her house, where she sat on the porch. She hadn't eaten in three days and her face was gaunt. Her eyes sunken and her hair plastered to her face. She was a pitiful sight. She sat there, staring at their roof but not really seeing it. Her eyes were glazed over in what would be tears, if she had any left. Her body was weak, so very vulnerable. And in a time like this....

"Darling?" a voice said above Padme with a tender note. The girl didn't look up but shivered when Tessa touched her. How dare she! "Get away from me," Padme hissed, barely audible. "Oh, darling, what's the matter? What happened? Are you alright? Come inside with me dear and tell me - " "You already know! You're the one who made my life misery. You probably don't' remember though, do you? I mean, you were drunk so bad that night it's no wonder!" Padme screamed, a new strength making her stand and shove the chair out of her way. Tessa looked dumb-founded, completely knocked off balance. Her beautiful face regained it's poise as she looked down at the girl she had raised so lovingly. "Now, tell me what's wrong Padme." she said, trying to sound her usual sweet self. She hovered over her but Padme did not cringe. At the moment, she felt ten times taller. "You should make your hair it's normal color again, Mother. It would suit you better." Padme snarled before pushing her way into the house, knocking over Tessa in the process. The woman looked scared as she walked past her. Padme knocked over everything in the house on her rampage, including the genuine vases and other things that cost much. Why she did this, she wasn't quite sure. She didn't belong here, this wasn't her things. It was all Tessa's problem! She didn't want to be here. She wanted to be in the mammoth house and having wavy hair and silky clothing. She wanted a real life instead of something so pretend and fragile. Who was she anyway? She tore off into her room and locked the door, collapsing on her bed in a near traumatic haze. Her life was topsy-turvy and boy, did it hurt. It hurt so bad. She blinked away her anger like swatting a moth and leaned back on her pillow, only to go into the welcomed, merciful sleep.

[Padme Rendel S2]

Padme stared at the bland ceiling. Rain pounded outside. It was in tune with Padme's thoughts, which swirled around her head with a hurtful pounding. Was this ever going to end. Tessa hadn't stopped by her room since the rampage. Was she really doing the right thing? Blowing up like that and then looking herself in the room. She knew Tessa could come in if she wanted but she hadn't yet. At least she was respecting Padme's indecision. She threw her pillow against the wall for the tenth time before rolling over and pulling the cover over her head. She was drifting between dreams and hell. Hell was her reality. She was drowning in hot, boiling water. She was angry, so angry that it was close to hatred. Could she forgive and forget? Never. She leaned up against the wall and forced herself to open her heavy eyes. There she saw nothing but the white walls. It was all white. Nothing like the fire she was burning in. Nothing like hell. She grimaced and sat up some more, reaching under her bed to get the food she had stashed there. She wouldn't survive without food now, would she? She ate eight crackers before throwing it somewhere else in her room, which had now become a pigs' pen. It was that messy. Her comforter was off the bed and on the floor. Padme was sitting on this now, after taking something of a nap. Her clothes were all over the floor and crumbs were left on the once-made bed. She might as well not have waken up today. What was she going to do anyway? Sulk some more? Her eyes were extremely heavy and she had no more tears left to cry. They were dry.

A small click made Padme look up slowly. She gasped when Tessa opened the door. She had done what Padme had suggested, took of the dye of her hair. Since Padme knew the truth, there was no real reason not to. It was shiny and blond, completely golden. Padme gazed at it. It was so much like the twins. And Tessa's twin. The picture of the mysterious woman was Tessa's twin. They resembled each other so well. It was too bad the twin was dead. The picture of her lay in pieces on the nightstand that was over turned. Tessa smiled and showed Padme her hair, not that she hadn't seen it already. "I did what you said." she said in a whisper that Padme's ears had to strain to pick up. "I'm sorry I told you. I...lost...control of what I was saying..." Padme looked up at her, looking mildly surprised. "Really, Tessa. No apology can smoother the pain I'm feeling right now." With that said, she gave her an ugly look that demanded she leave. Tessa obliged, though Padme kind of wished she had resisted.

She looked at the phone carefully, wondering what it was she should do. To call the Holden residence was on her mind but she wouldn't let her fingers dial the number. Was it right to do this? She tried to smile but couldn't. It was like brittle. She blinked slowly and reached over for the phone but still her fingers refused to dial. Instead, she dropped it with a thud and looked over at her owl. It was waiting as if knowing her thoughts. Padme walked over slowly and held out her arm for the barn owl to hop on. She had written a letter yesterday, although she had never expected to actually send it. She smiled shakily at her owl before picking up the letter and tying it to his leg. It read something like this:

Dear Mack or Dix,
I don't care who receives this, but I want one of you to come here. As soon as possible. All will be explained when you arrive. Hurry. Any day, I don't care. Don't write back, just send back my owl. Please hurry.

Padme[/size]

It was short but it was very straight-forward. She wanted one of them to come and quick. They must know that isn't her usual self, even in writing. She had said please and I don't care. Very unlike herself. If they didn't pick up on that, then they really were stupider then they looked. Padme watched her owl fly out the window before turning back to her mattress and laying down, all strength she had drained.

[Mackenzie Holden]

"Bugger off, Louis!" Mack groaned into her pillow, her owl pecking at her cheek. It hurt. It didn't do any good, "LOUIS!" She screamed as she batted at the owl which was getting on her last nerve. She sat up to glare daggers at the owl, but...it wasn't hers, "What the hell?" She swung her legs over the bed and walked toward the owl which was perched on her dresser. It held out it's leg obiedently, waiting for her to untie the roll of parchment. Mack did so, and curiously opened it. The handwriting was unfamiliar, but the signature gave who it was- away. Padme. Mack tucked some hair behind her ear, before throwing the piece of parchment away.

Padme had said not to write back, so Mack didn't. But she did send the owl back to her. Why had that bloody thing decided to give her the letter? Dixie would be much more suitable for this sort of thing. Although, currently Dixie's mood has been a bit off the type that it usually was. She had been sneaking out, and been rather quiet at dinner. She blared music in the day and rarely came out of her room. Mack hadn't bothered to ask her what was wrong, it wasn't like she would tell her anyway. Padme seemed to be upset about something, her note was very unlike her. And Mack even considered going over to the girl's house.

"Bloody hell..." Mack muttered as she ran her fingers through her hair. What was going on? She decided to go over to Padme's, see what's wrong and then leave. No small talk. Just in and out. But not dressed like the way she was. She opened her dresser drawers, and pulled out a pair of jeans- a green tank top and a pair of socks. She got dressed before she pulled a brush through her hair, applied some lipgloss and eyeshadow. Then she was out the door without a thought. Why she was actually responding to Padme was beyond Mack, but she was and there wasn't anything she could do about it.

An hour or so later, Mack was at Padme's doorstep. She breathed in, bit her bottom lip, and then knocked. Waited. Waited for Padme to screech at her for showing up so early.

[Padme Rendel S2]

Padme sat on the couch, her legs drawn up to her chest. She hadn't bothered to clean herself up for the Holden sister, whichever one showed up. She still looked her pitiful self and she couldn't imagine herself otherwise anymore. She rocked back and forth, muttering things only she could hear. A few times Tessa stuck her head in, her golden hair swinging around her head in an admirable way. Padme couldn't help it. She longed for that golden hair. How had she ended up with brown? She fumbled with a string on the couch, glancing out the window once in a while to see if anyone had approached the house. They were taking forever! Padme wasn't sure how long she waited; it could have been seconds or hours, but to her it felt like days on end. Her head was still pounding on her skull. When would it all end? Padme sometimes found herself wishing that everything would just go blank and she would mercifully be put in a better world then this. But she would never do that! Oh no - she would survive! Padme glared at her dirty fingernails before leaning back, only to jump up when a knock sounded through the house.

She roused herself and opened the door to find Mack standing there. Padme couldn't even look at her for long, only a glance here and there. She looked down at the ground mostly. What was she supposed to say now that she really was here? Padme began to tremble violently. She shook so bad she almost fell over. She beckoned Mack to come in and closed the door behind her. She didn't care if Mack thought her appearance disgusting; it really was but she couldn't make herself clean off. She felt dirty, so why not look dirty? She tried to regain her composure but, when she tried, it just began to crumble. Suddenly, she found herself laying on the couch, flat out bawling. She couldn't help it. Everything came rushing upon her so fast she couldn't remain stable. She tried to make herself look at Mack but the struggle was too hard and she was weak....so weak. It was a real struggle, something so very hard to do. And she had thought she was out of tears! She cried seven oceans before she was finally able to pull herself together. She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand and sat up, trying to fix her gaze clearly on a very hazy Mack.

"I'm sorry. I just....Tessa....I don't know...who I...am anymore!" she cried out, her voice tinted with hysteria. Her lower lip trembled violently as she fought to remain in control of her overwhelming emotions. What did Mack think of her now? She was glad Dix hadn't come; she would probably think less of Padme in this situation. After all, she was perfect. She idolized Dix for that one factor. She had wanted to be like her in so many ways. She wanted to be just like her but with this she wasn't even Padme Rendel anymore. She didn't know who she was. She was lost in her own mind, wondering endlessly in something that couldn't be her own. She clenched the edge of the couch, breathing in deeply. She then pulled out the torn up pictures that she had taped together just for Mack to view. She thrust it at her mutely before the tears began to stream again. "They explain it. I shouldn't have taken them. It destroyed me. I hate them! I hate them so bad I can't think straight!" Padme whispered, her voice barely audible. She had covered her face with her arms and was trying to hide the tears that wouldn't stop flowing.

((If Padme doesn't make sense, that's just because she's in shock. She'll come out of it with a little encouraging. ))

[Mackenzie Holden]

"Um." Mack breathed as she watched Padme...completely break down. She didn't know what to do. She was never placed in this position before. Mack crossed her arms and watched Padme sob into the couch, "Pa...Padme?" She whispered, taking a small step forward. The girl was still bawling. Mack scowled and grabbed the girl's arm, not to harshly- but enough to get her to shut up, "Padme!" OK, this was sick. The girl didn't seem to have bathed, and she apparently didn't care about her looks. Mack shook her head in disgust.

"Before I can talk to you, about anything...I need you to go upstairs, bathe, get dressed in some nice clothing- and come back downstairs. I'll have food ready for you. You look like you haven't eaten in days. Where's your kitchen? Down here? OK, upstairs. Now!" Mack pulled her toward the staircase and pushing her up. Then she turned and headed toward the kitchen. As much as she despised the girl, Mack still thought of Padme as someone she needed to put under her wing and guide her down the right path. Mack found the kitchen and began looking through the cupboards and the fridge.

She pulled out two slices of bread, some grape jam, and a jar of peanut butter. If Padme didn't like peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches- too bad. She was going to eat them with some milk. Mack made the sandwhiches, cutting them square down the middle, and pouring a glass of milk. She placed it at the table and then sat down on the counter- a bottle of water in her right hand and the pictures Padme had tossed at her in her left. Mack looked through the torn images and tried to make sense of everything. Nothing seemed to fit in Mack's mind. It was as if it were a puzzle, and Mack hated puzzles.

With another sip of her water bottle, she flipped the picture and was on the first one she had looked at. The pictures made no sense to her, and she didn't see how Padme thought they would. Mack put the pictures on the countertop right as Padme came downstairs. She looked much better than when she had gone up, and Mack smirked before hopping off the counter; "Alright. Sit. Eat. And explain."

((It's alright. As you can see Mack turned it to her advantage. I am sorry for any god-moding that I put in there...I'm tired and I wanted to move along a post. If you don't like it, I can edit it. Just tell me ))

[Padme Rendel S2]

((No, that's fine with the god-moding. Padme needed to be pushed along a bit. Also, I'm terribly sorry this is so long. Padme did need to explain so she did.... ))

Padme's arm was grabbed in a seemingly vice-grip and she chocked down her sobs. She nodded her head and stood up slowly, wiping the tears away with the back of her hands. She sniffed and gathered herself up totally before stalking up the stairs, mumbling things under her breath although she was extremely happy Mack was in control. She couldn't control herself, let alone anything else that happened. Her feet dragged as she walked down the hall. She thought she heard Mack walk around in the kitchen down the stairs. What was she doing? Oh, yes. She was making food. Padme couldn't remember when Mack had said that was what she was doing but from the sounds....She opened the bathroom door and hurled herself inside, slamming the door shut behind her. The new strength that she had gained from Mack now vanished into oblivion and she was left confused and startled. She leaned against the wall to catch her breath and let her mind stop the rhythmic pounding that was now there every passing second. Once she could see again, she undressed and hopped in the shower, turning it on freezing cold. She needed to wake up and this was the perfect way to do it. She almost cried out when it hit her skin; like buckets of ice. It worked very well and made her alert of everything. Days washed off and she became the normal Padme; the mean, cruel uncaring Padme Rendel. She turned off the shower and grabbed her two towels that she had laid out. Wrapping one around herself and the other around her hair, she sat down on the stool and gazed carefully at her reflection. The bags under her eyes had refused to come off with the grime but other then that, she looked completely healthy and alive. She didn't even feel sorry for herself anymore! Padme leaned foreword so her nose was inches away from the glass. This was the way she liked herself. Normal. A real Slytherin and not some timid little girl, afraid of the world itself. She unwrapped her hair as soon as she thought it dry and began to brush through the knots, which took quite some time. Her hair was one big knot and to get it out took much time and patience. Padme worked through it until it was shiny and smooth, laying on her bare shoulders very nicely. She then walked off to her room and dressed in a jean skirt and a green tang-top. There! Mack really did know solutions, didn't she? Padme smirked and flounced down the stairs and off to the kitchen.

Mack had made her a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich - Padme's favorite. Had she known this or did she just pick something random? Padme sat down as instructed and began gobbling down the food like a ravenous animal. It tasted good and she ate it with great savor. When not a crumb was left, she poured down the milk slowly, trying not to appear as frantic as she felt. When everything was done and her stomach felt fuller then it had in days, she leaned back on her stool. The kitchen was a somewhat small room but it went well with the other house. Padme had always considered it cozy and she felt rather good just sitting here, feeling more content then she had ever felt before. She smirked up at Mack, which changed quickly to a small smile. She was happy for everything Mack had did for her, but she wouldn't show it in too much proportion. She ran a finger through her fine brown hair, searching for a good starting place for her story. What could she tell Mack? Everything? She knew she couldn't leave out a single detail or it would all go crashing down and Mack would be left confused and maybe, probably, irritable that Padme had dragged her into this. She eyed Mack carefully, looking for signs of anger and aggression. When she was done surveying the girl, she looked down at the pictures Mack had set down on the table. They were torn and pieced together with tape on the back, so the pictures weren't covered. Tessa's twin and her sisters stared back at her ominously. Was she doing the right thing? She cleared her throat as her hands fluttered to the straps of her tang-top; her hands always gave away her thoughts. She was nervous and afraid but her eyes were melted over with determination. She had to get this through or no one would understand her condition. They would just think of her as a nasty little heathen, which was so not Padme! She glared at the pictures before placing her hands on her lap and looking at Mack with her head slightly cocked to the right.

"I'll explain the best I can, and if you get confused, tough." Padme started, although she dearly wanted Mack to listen and apply to. She clenched her hands, taking a deep breath. "Okay. So first, it started when I went snooping in my....Tessa's attic. She had all these chests there and pictures were inside of them. Pictures of the family members she claimed to be dead. Well, I found the twin pictures first. The one with the two small girls. I had no idea who they were and so I tried to think of where they could have come from. I was clueless so the next day, I went up there again and found that picture. The woman with flowing blond hair. She looked so much like Tessa except for the hair.....I was still totally confused until Tessa came home, drunk from some bar. She has been drinking lately to take away worries, which is absolutely ridiculous, I know. I questioned her, for I thought it safe that she wouldn't remember what I did that day. And she didn't, but I remember full well what she said. She confessed that she has a twin sister, who was Pierre Dumas' - the twin girls' fathers' - wife. They were married and apparently had the two twins, for they are older then me. Then, Tessa's twin - Jeanette is her name - died somehow. I'm not sure how, nor do I care. She just upped and died. Then, Pierre was seeing someone on the side before she died, so he went to that lady, who was Daphne. He married her and together they made a fortune. They raised the two twins, I guess, and then they had me, their only real child. But Tessa, who was angry at them, stole me for herself. She was angry because Pierre shouldn't have married Daphne - she believed he was the one who killed Jeanette! I don't think he did but that's not really the point....So she took me for herself and told Roger, who had helped along with the plan somehow but he didn't try to gain custody of me because he thought me dirty. Plus, I wasn't his own, so why would he want me? He only wanted his true heir, Jack. I think Jack really is their only real son. I'm just an outsider and I really belong in that splendid manor down the street from here. And they knew! They must have known! Daphne and Pierre. They lived down the street from me. They must have seen me at least some time but yet they made no effort to steal me back...." Padme spat viciously, her voice being steady and controlled. She was regaining her strength by reliving the night she had learned all this. "And, the bad part about it is a think that Jeanette must have been a muggle! So Jack's not pure! But I feel dirty too. I felt like I must have looked when you came in. Do you want to know why? The Dumas isn't a pure family. They think they're pure, but they aren't. Pierre and Daphne were both mudbloods! Mudbloods!" Padme shrieked. "That means I am dirty. Filthy. I hate being....me!" Padme glared at Mack, with an eyebrow raised. "Did you get that? So these twins are my half-sisters and Jack is of no relation at all....he's an only child. And, Tessa died her blond hair brown so it would look like I got that trait from her. So we would look of relation. But it's lies! All lies!" she gazed at the gray counter top, her fingers tracing the swirls there. She didn't want to look at Mack's face.

[Mackenzie Holden]

((LOOK WHAT I FINALLY GOT TO! *throws confetti*))

Mack tried to follow what Padme was saying. Tried, being the keyword. She wasn't sure what exactly Padme was telling her. But the things she did understand were things that she needed facts and other things to understand in order to fully comprehend the fact she understood. Or would it be semi-understood? Either way, Mack knew nothing and Padme wasn't making it any easier to understand. Mack was, however, glad to see Padme back to her snotty little bratty self and this made Mack feel a little bit superior inside. So she did have the ability and power to tell the girl what to do. She must remember to use this later on. Mack bit her bottom lip in deep thought, before grabbing the photographs and looking them over. When she was finished, she tucked some hair behind her ear and set the photographs down.

"Alright. So aside from you having found out all of your family secrets, or most of them at least, have you tried contacting them? Those people down the street? Even if they are dirty. Even if they aren't pure, Padme. They are still your family. They still are your blood, your flesh. You can't hide from them forever. Especially if it tears you up inside like it has been." Mack locked eyes with Padme and raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. She wanted to know. Because if Padme really was just letting it tear at her from the inside out, Mack would have to knock her out of that. She didn't need to dwell on anything. Dwelling didn't do any good. Find a way to get over the problem, and get over it. If you concentrated on it for too long, you became insane. Like Dixie had. Dixie who was in a mental hospital at the moment. Mack wondered if Padme knew about that....but she didn't think about it for too long because she was talking again.

"And..let me see if I get this. OK. Tessa isn't your mother. You were stolen at birth. Jack isn't your brother. And you aren't pure? Neither is Jack? And how is he not pure? You have half-twin-sisters somewhere in the world? And they live right down the street? And you haven't contacted any of them in your time in finding all of this information out?" Mack leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes never leaving Padme's. If this girl was sane, she would know that contacting them would probably be the best solution. To find out what actually happened instead of putting false pretenses in her mind. It wasn't ever good to assume something if you didn't have the straight facts. And that was what Mack was afraid Padme was doing.

[Padme Rendel S2]

((Good for you! *pats Mack on back while brushing confetti from hair*))

Padme looked uncertainly at Mack's face. "Are you mad?" She asked incredulously, knitting her brows together. Mack wanted her to go visit the mansion down the street? She had to be crazy, raving mad to think that. Padme got up from her chair slowly, almost dizzy, and refilled her glass with water. Mack didn't understand.... Padme sucked down the cool liquid, trying to stall in order to gather all her thoughts together. How to make it competent for Mack... It wasn't exactly easy, especially for Padme who loved to befuddle people. She licked all access water from her lips, tucked her hands in her pockets, and returned to her stool somewhat reluctantly.

"Well..." she said slowly, tasting each word before it slipped out. "I tried to visit before but...I just couldn't do it." Padme stopped and licked her lips, unsure how to go on. She didn't want to sound like she had been frightened, but she had been. She didn't want to sound like someone insane, but she had been and probably still was. She wanted to show control, but how to do that without telling Mack that she had been afraid of her own being? She bit her bottom lip slowly. "I...I just wasn't excited about the prospect of accepting the fact that they really were my family. If I left this rotten house and went with them, what would my life be like? This is my home, my life, where I grew up. I don't want to let it go...not yet." I'm only eleven! Padme wanted to shout at Mack. I'm too young to go through these adult problems! She gripped her knees tightly and stared at Mack straight in the eye without wavering.

"Tessa isn't my mother," Padme repeated dully, trying to grow accustomed to the fact. "I was stolen at birth. As for Jack not being pure...he can't be because Tessa's sister and her parents were...muggles. Making Tessa a mudblood. A dirty, filthy mudblood, Mack!" Padme shook with increased rage. She had loved, cared for, respected the same thing she hated with her whole being and worst of all....it reflected on her. She wasn't pure either. Jack was pure as in his parents, who were both magical, but by generation, he was not. She glared at Mack with a raise eyebrow. "Meaning I'm not pure. I never was and can't be. And yes, I have half-twin sisters that live down the street. See, come here." She stood and pulled Mack over to the nearest window in the kitchen that faced the street. The mansion loomed ominously in the retreating suns' rays. She narrowed her eyes sharply.

"Do you understand why I cannot go there now? They wouldn't accept me as a daughter and if they did, what of the twins? Would they be willing to have another sister that's a younger Slytherin? They are the Dumas - one of the richest purebloods in the area. How can I go from this lifestyle - working for my own pay and Tessa's - to their's, which include having servants dust your shoes every morning? It's not possible and anyway, I'm not going to be ruining someone else's' life because I've found something out. I'll stay here only because Tessa needs me...but once I become of age - to hell with this place!" Padme had been building on confidence but now, her shoulders sagged with the effort. Her features dropped with incredible sadness but she perked up with a sudden thought. "You won't tell Jack. Promise me you won't!" Padme grabbed Mack's arms, but not roughly. Actually, she nearly leaned on Mack. "I can only live on myself, Mack. I've been independent for a long time. I'm who I am now because I was expected to be, but now what? I don't know who I am any more, or what I should be. Don't ruin Jack's life. You wouldn't want that, would you?" She begged, gripping Mack's shoulders harder.