Make Me Smile ((Tristan))

[Mackenzie Holden]

There was just something about the way it looked. The glow so brilliant, that even the sparkles on the ground could be seen. It entranced her, made everything else in the world seem so transparent and surreal that it didn't matter, but only for the time being. The way Mack saw it, the moon rose and stayed in the sky, and as long as it stayed in the sky, worries were gone. Then the sun rose, and all worries were back like they had never left before.

Mack was only 14, and she knew she had nothing to worry about. But her life was so screwed up that it was 10 times worse. Visits home were torture, and days at school were like a silent movie in slow motion. She went to classes, did her homework, went to sleep. She could feel eyes watching her, and she could hear whispers following her. They were talking about her, talking about how she disgraced the Holden family name.

What Mack did at school was no one's business, but what she did outside of school? That was everybody's business, apparently. Being a Slytherin, Mack was expected to hang out with the right crowd and do things like her sister, but mack just wasn't like that. So when she had an argument with her father and moved out, it really didn't look too god for the Holden name. Mack wasn't about to be slapped around, by her father, again. She wasn't a girl to let that happen to her, twice; especially since she took self-defense for the first time. Mack learned from her mistakes, and she learned a lot.

"I heard, she was kicked out instead of she ran away." Mack's ears tuned into a nearby conversation. Her hand went to her mouth and she muffled her breathing. Two younger Slytherins were walking up to the castle doors, they paused though, three maybe four feet away from Mack. They were completely unaware that the subject of their topic was near them. Mack didn't recognize the two girls, but they knew plenty about her.

"Do you really think she'd runaway? Mackenzie is a tough bit, she knows how to hold her own." The other girl stated smoothly, she looked at her nails as she said this. Mack's eyes filled with tears, tears brimming her eyes and threatening to fall over. Why did they care? Why was she subject to their cruel gossip? Mack's breathing was irregular now, and the two girl's conversation continued.

"Who knows? That girl's priorities are way off track. Did you know..." The voice trailed off, they were going inside. This was good. This was very good. Mack didn't know how much more of that she could take. Mack stood up from her place by the bushes, tears still spilling. They ran down her cheeks. She knew she must've looked awful. Her pale blonde hair fell in loose curls, and his most of her face. Her eyes, were, well, racoon eyes. Dark circles, pale skin, and a sad smile. Most definitely a depression.

"Okay, let's just take a moment here and sort out a few things. I am currently homeless, all my belongings have most likely been thrown out, so the only things I own are here at Hogwarts. I have no money, no friends, no family, and I'm miserbale. People are talking about me, and I'm just taking it. Somehting is definitely screwed up here." Mack was even going insane!! Talking to herslf, that's about as crazy as one could get. Mack ran her fingers through her hair and looked at the double doors. They slowly started to open. Tristan Wardle stood in the doorway. Everytime she saw Tristan, her heart sped up, and her focus blurred. One time during class, she kept watching him, and she read the same sentence 5 times before actually paying attention. Mack pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and looked at him, "Her stranger." Mack's voice cracked as she spoke. She wiped at thet ears which had stopped falling, but still remained on her cheeks. She tried to smile, but failed miserbaly. Why do i Bother? She thought, her eyes looking to her right. SHe was purposely avoiding his eyes. SHe couldn't give in, she wouldn't. But, diveritng her gaze made her think about that night in the courtyard, and she would have liked to forget the damage that night had done. Like that could happen.

Mack smiled shyky and took a step towards Tristan. Her right foot on the first step and her left on the second. Then she continued up, her eyes sparkled. She soon inches in front of him. Mack outstretched her arm, put her hand up and said, "Walk with me?" She was sure what his reponse would be. Mackenzie was never really sure of anything at the moment. She was losing control over everything. Her hands became numb, she wasn't sure if Tristan had taken hold of her hand or not. She didn't look down to see. At the moment all she needed was for someone to hold her. Mack sighed and hugged Tristan, just hugged him, the tears coming again, "i'm so alone.." She whsipered through her tears.

[Tristan MacCay]

((Just thought you should know Vika actually kissed Tristan quickly in Hogsmeade. Its in "Not an average day" Tristan told ehr they should be friends till he got his head sorted out.))

Tristan gazed out at the beautiful scottish landscape that surrounded the ancient castle. He leant against the cool stone in the door way into the castle, but he wasn't going back inside. He had been cooped up studying there for too long and right now he needed something else... He was still trying to figure Mack out. Did he like him like her loved her. love him? He didn't know, but as his eyes surveyed the view from the doorway he spoke softly to himself,
"speak of the devil" The very topic he was thinking of most was walking towards him right at this moment. Mackenzie Holden. His first kiss. She her faced appeared more sunken than usual. She looked overtired and troubled.

Tristan felt an ache in his heart. He couldn't stand to see someone he had such strong feelings for upset like that and he went to go to her, but she beat him to it. she held out her hand and he took it immediately. A minute later she had whispered to him, "I'm so alone." and she held him there on the steps of the castle. Her arms felt tight around Tristan's body. He was shocked at first, but the sudden contact, but after a few seconds her wrpt his arms around herand held her tight. He had heard rumours. Nasty people sayig horrible things about her behind her back and he could see why she was so upset, but he had a feeling he wasn't near understanding how she felt. He wasn't sure what was going on with he life at the moment and he thougth she wanted to talk.
"It's alright, lovely," His words were soothing and calm. He rubbed her back slowly with one hand and held her as close to his body as he could. Trying to comfort her as best he could, "It's alright..."

[Mackenzie Holden]

((I know. But, I still didn't appreciate her bringing it up in the post. Didn't seem relevant.))

Mack's hand returned the nerves, and she could feel Tristan's in hers. She sighed and pulled away, tears still streaming down her face, "So," Mack laughed, "what version did you hear?" She tried to smile but the tears blocked that and her face just appeared to be scrunched up. She lowered her head and sniffed lightly. She was trying to turn her life into a joke...yeah...ok. Mack lifted her eyes upward and sighed, drying her tears, "Lots of rumours and such, annoying things those are. You would think that they wouldn't give a God damn. Would ya?" Mack laughed lightly at this, knowing she was kidding herself.

She started down the stairs, pulling Tristan with her, making her way towards the lake. She needed to talk with him. To get things straightened out. Right now, Tristan was the only thing close to being solid in her life, and God knew she needed solidity. So she continued to walk, slowing down a bit so Tristan wouldn't be yanked this way and that, "So; what is new with you? Anything that is remotely exciting going onin your life, or is just dull as dasies? I know,"Mack faced him, "tell me about this girl I hear you kissed in the courtyard." She smiled flirtatiously and waited his response. But, before he could answer she continued, "I hear she's quite lovely. Though, a Slytherin, dare I say?" Mack raised an eyebrow. Wondering how Tristan would react to her weirdness at the moment.

[Tristan MacCay]

((That Vika girl is a little strange

"Ugh!" Tristan rolled his eyes at the thought of that girl. "I can't believe that happened. Her name is Vika and she kissed me then told me she wouldn't have me mess with her feelings. I'm still trying to figure out what she is saying there." he laughed a little. "I'm not really in the mood to talk about that disaster. More importantly how are you?" He asked wiping a tear from Mackenzie's cheek. She seemed to be a bit perkier now that she was with Tristan and he was so happy that he could help her. Anything he could do for her he would do it. He hoped Mackenzie understood that and he hugged her reassuringly to make sure,
"You know you always got me..." He whispered in her ear. "Always."

As they walked towards the Hogwarts lake which appeared Black in the dim night Tristan held Mackenzie's hand tight. He wanted her to know he was not going to leave her. His feelings for her had developed so quickly. He had no idea how ... perhaps that was just the way their personalities bonded. Drawn together as soon as possible. Tristan thought he heard a twig snap behind them in a small cluster of trees. He didn't bother turning around. He knew that the whole school would be talking about his relationship with Mackenzie before long and he was already worrying about it. Not for his sake, but for hers.
"You know they're going to give us hell..." Tristan said to Mackenzie. "No matter what we do or say." He looked into her eyes and smiled at her with his own. It was amazing how much could be said with a simply look. Right now he was telling her he loved her and that he would always be there for him.
"Now that I'm your ... boyfriend." Tristan blushed. He had never been a boyfriend before. and the prospect was a little nerve racking. It came with a lot of responsibilities, but Tristan knew this would work out. He just a had this feeling, deep inside. He stepped closer to Mackezie. He was sure she had been flirting with him a little before and her didn' want to dampen her spirits,
"So have you ever had a boyfriend before? I've never had a girlfriend before. It's pretty great if you ask me. Espescially when you have a girlfriend who is gorgeous, inside and out."

[Mackenzie Holden]

Mack looked at Tristan, a flash of hatred passing over her pale blue eyes. Vika. Vika Spunrick. Mack stopped walking and looked at him, her face set in a stern way. She had no want to hear about him kissing Vika. Vika, her enemy. Mack tucked some hair behind her ear, and her curiosity got the best of her, "She does get around doesn't she? So what were you doing hanging out with Miss Viktoria Spunrick. God forbid she ever be considerate of other people." Mack said in a sharp tone. Her Slytherin side showing rather fiercly. Her piercing blue eyes stared at him, penetrating him, and she knew she should stop. She knew that with that cold stare it could be horrible, so she blinked, breathed in and stopped.

She looked at Tristan, her head tilted to the right a way, and smiled apologetically. She squeezed his hand to tell him she was sorry and lowered her head, "Sorry. Really. I'm just. A lot of stress. Y'know? Like, everywhere I go, I can hear them talking about me. Did you hear...? About...?" Mack broke down a bit, tears slipping out of her eyes again but she fought them back. Her breathing became wavering and she sighed, "It's just. I don't know. A lot of stress. The weight of the world on my shoulders." Mack trailed off, hearing someone in the distance. But, she didn't turn, she knew this would get around. And frankly; she really didn't care.

Mack looked at Tristan he had spoken, and she nodded in agreement, "Yeah. I know. We'll get torn to shreds. But, it's worth it, right? Worth all of it?" Mack raised an eyebrow at him and waited for his reply. But, before he answered her question...he spoke again. Had Mack ever had a boyfriend? No. Never. She was never given that luxury. She was always kept away from the world, not allowed to mingle in it. So she slowly shook her head, "No." Then he called her gorgeous and she blushed, thanking the darkness for its shadows. Mack threw her arms around Tristan, hugging him, but causing them both to tumble down hill towards the lake. They rolled and Mack felt cold water on her back, she gasped; and then laughed.

[Tristan MacCay]

Tristan's mouth flew open in shock as he and Mackenzie began to tumble town the hill. He held tight to her hand. Not wanting to loose her. ever... Tristan began to see the comedy in the situation as he rolled over and over and her began to laugh. Within a few moments Tristan felt icy water down his back. A split second later he and Mackenzie were drenched and completely under water. Tristan puuled himself up from the murky waters of the lake and stoody in the waist height water. He was freezing, goosebumps covering his body, but he didn't care. He was so happy to be in Mackenzie's company. A wave of courage passed over him as he stood face to face with his new girlfriend and forgetting everything that was on his mind he pulled her closer to him, an arm around her waist, brushed her wet hair out of her face and still laughing he leaned in a kissed her, his eyes closed.

Mackenzie was like no-one her had ever met before. She was smart, witty, bold and beautiful and he loved it. Her lips always tasted sweet and her touch was always gentle and warm. Tristan ran his hands through her hair and pulled away for a moment,
"We are so clumsy," He laughed then whispered, "That's why I love you." and he kissed her again, eyes closed again, heart beating like a brass band ... again.

[Mackenzie Holden]

If we ever argue too much, we could always kiss to shut up. Mack thought. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around Tristan's neck. The kissing was good. She broke away only for a moment, breathed in, and then fell into the ice cold water. Her blonde hair floated above her, making her look mystical. She looked upward, her blue eyes becoming grey. Mack looked up at Tristan through the murky water, she swam out farther into a deeper part of the lake. Mack reached up, grabbed Tristan's neck and pulled him down to her level. They were both under the water now. Mack smiled and kissed him again, water flowing into her mouth.

She broke away again, and swam away. Letting the water rush over her. She then pulled to the surface, breathing in clean fresh air. Mack ran her fingers through her hair, and continued to kick her legs so she would stay a float. The moon was bathing Mack in light, but some clouds passed over it and she was engulfed in darkness. Mack looked behind her, Tristan hadn't come up yet, so she breathed in and went back under water. A foot was in front of her, Mack grabbed it and pulled towards her. She was soon face to face with Tristan again. Mack smiled, kissed him quick, then swam away again. She needed to talk to him, but she wasn't sure what to say to him. She wasn't sure how to tell him what she was thinking. Mack needed time to think.

[Tristan MacCay]

Tristan barely had time to take a breath when Mackenzie pulled him under the surface of the water and kissing him again. This was like no experience Tristan had ever had. He loved it. He pulled her close to him, their bodies connected for an amazing split second before she pulled away and swam off again playfully. Tristan had never seen this side of Mackenzie before, the playful type. Or was it just an act? Tristan wasn't sure what was going through her head, but he wanted to find out. De decided he wouldn't pressure her to talk, but he would talk whenever she was ready. At the moment he would continue what was happening now until she felt she was ready. Tristan realised after a few seconds that he was still underwater. One more second later Tristan felt his foot being tugged and he moved his arms around in the water to follow that direction. His head broke the surface of the lake and he looked around to find his eyes in line with Mackenzie's.

Mackenzie smiled and kissed Tristan quick again. He loved her so much! She swam away before Tristan had a chance to close his eyes and enjoy himself again. This was when Tristan realised she was avoiding talking to him. Perhaps she was confused, either way they needed to sort things out. If not for them as a relationship, but for her as a person. Just because of the way she was acting this way, and perhaps it wasn't all acting (or Tristan hoped the kisses weren't acting), didn't mean Mackenzie had forgotten all her problems. Tristan decided to make the first move to make him more approachable to talk to. He swam after Mackenzie and grabbed her hand, together they swam back to the bank of the lake and, legs dangling in the water, they sat there.

Tristan pulled Mackenzie into a warm, powerful kiss and held her tight in his arms to keep her warm. The kiss lasted for a long time, but it felt like a second to Tristan, he loved it so much. It took all the strength he had to end it and as he did he lay his back down in the grass and moved his body so there was room fore Mackenzie to lie by him, face to face and talk,
"Mackenzie," He said softly, placing an arm around her to keep her warm, "Mackenzie, I can't help feeling you need to talk. I mean, the way you're acting. And I think it could really strengthen our relationship as well as helping you to get you head sorted out ... so what do you say? do you want to talk?"

[Mackenzie Holden]

No! No seriousness! Mack didn't want seriousness! She laid down next to Tristan and breathed in deeply, her breathing irregular. She looked at Tristan and lowered her head, not really wanting to talk but starting to do so anyway. He was right, it would help their relationship. Especially if he was fully aware of what he was getting himself into. Mack swallowed back a lump in her throat and nodded once, "Ok." She whispered. She sat up and faced him, placing her hands in her lap and wringing them together.

"I have been avoiding my sister, Dixie, all week. I just know she's going to corner me, attack me, and abuse me. I just know she's spying on me for my father. Dix is not a nice person, Tristan, and by me going out with you- it just gives her an excuse to be worse. I just want to make sure, that you..." Mack breathed in sharply and licked her lips that were extremely chapped at the moment, "that you knew what you were...getting yourself into so to speak." Mack forced that sentence out, and then prepared for the next. She laid back down and ran her finger up Tristan's arm very slowly, creating that ticklish feeling.

"If you really want to be with me, Tristan, you have to grasp the concept of my sister will track you down, she will talk to you, and she will harm you. She will tell you evil lies, and stories that can't possibly be true about me. Dix will try to break us up." Mack continued. She sighed and stopped tracing her finger up his arm, and drew a circle in the sand, "You have to be in here one hundred percent, right next to me." Mack told him. Not sure if what she was saying was making sense to him. Mack wasn't making sense to herself.

[Tristan MacCay]

"You" Tristan drew a love heart in the circle Mackenzie had drawn in the sand, "Are worth any ammount of torture that anyone can wish on me. I love you, Mackenzie. I'm not going to turn my back on you. I promise!" Tristan kissed her lightly on her forehead, "I promise." he said again. He didn't think he could tell her how he felt about her. He just couldn't find the words. It was indescribeable.

Although he enjoyed this moment they had to talk he couldn't shake the feeling Mackenzie didn't want to talk. He decided that by the way she was acting she needed to escape for a while. And perhaps emotionally prepare herself before she talked any more. Perhaps Tristan felt the same way. He didn't know for sure. But he didn't want to force Mackenzie to talk of she didn't want to. He leaned in to, tilted his head slightly her and kissed her. As their lips pressed against each other Tristan decided that he would show Mackenzie just how he felt about her. He pulled her to him and let all his feelings towards her be known through the kiss. He loved her so much!

[Mackenzie Holden]

Mack pushed Tristan away and stood up, "Tristan! You aren't hearing me!" She said shortly. Her tone hostile. She started to walk away, but stopped, "You might be able to risk everything, but I can't!! I have already lost all that has counted in my life, for you! No words can express what I feel, Tristan!! And you are willing to jump off a bridge for me! For me! What did I do to deserve you?!" Mack kicked at the dirt. She sighed and looked at across the lake.

"I think..." Mack looked down at her feet, then straight up at him, "I think we should cool off a bit. Just until I get everything straightened out. I have enough to deal with. And I thought you could be my quick exit stage left, but I was wrong. And you aren't. And everything is too much." Mack's eyes iced over. Knowing that her words were causing him pain. She sighed and looked down again, "I think I love you, but right now there is way too much going on for me to be sure...I need space. And time. To think." Mack closed her eyes, waiting for him to speak again.

[Tristan MacCay]

Tristan fell back on to his back again. His mind racing with a thousand thoughts. He listened to Mack's words and it felt like a stabbing pain every time she said another one. Tristan didn't know what to think at this point. He supposed he had actred rather rashly, but he meant what he said. He would endure anything Dixie did to him for her, but it was eveident to him that Mackenzie didn't feel the same way. His pride was hurt. His heart was hurt. Tristan supposed she was right when she said they should cool off. If not for her own personal reasons than for the relationship. He didn't know what to sayand it took him several minutes beofre he opened his mouth.

"uh ..." He still had no idea what he was going to say, "Okay... I understand." He got to his feet and folded his arms across his broad chest both for warmth and also, subconsciously for protection. Tristan was in a very vulnerable situation at the moment. As was Mackenzie. He still didn't know quite how to act at the moment, what to say. He wished he could turn back the clock to ten minutes earlier when he and Mackenzie were in the Lake together, but that was somthing that he couldn't do. He sat down on the ground again and drew his knee's up to his chin with his arms. Not knowing what to do now he sat in silence. It was amazing how things could change in a second, but there was no use dwelling on what had happened. Tristan closed his eyes and sat in silence on the ground.

[Tristan MacCay]

Several minutes of silence followed Tristan's comment before he rose to his feet suddenly,
"Oh my goodness." He said to Mackenzie, "I am so sorry for the way I've been acting. I'm pouting like a little baby. I Suppose it just came as a bit of a shock." Perhaps it was the sudden rush of love he was sending her that caused her head to spin. Tristan wasn't sure, but he knew that if she wanted things to cool off for a while he was fine with it,
"If you want to cool it off for a while I totally respect that. We are still boyfriends and girlfriend aren't we? I mean this isn't over is it...?" Tristan didn't know what he would do if he had to end this relationship now. He didn't have the emotional copassity to cope with it right now. His uncle had past away a last week and he was still getting over the death. Tristan was easily stressed and suffered from high blood pressure. This left him with a larger chance of suffering from a heart attack than most people his age.

He took a few steps toward Mackenzie and held her hand. Right at this moment he wanted something to hold. To cling to. He knew he loved Mackenzie and she had said she loved him too, or so she thought. If she needed to cool off a bit it was fine. Anything to make her realise her love for him. Or the love Tristan hoped that she had.
"Does it matter if we hug?" He needed a hug so much right now and he gazed into her ice blue eyes trying to read them. To look past the sorrow and loneliness he saw in them and see if she needed someone to hold at the moment as much as he did.