Disconsolate? (Jasmine)

[ElinaHill]

Elina nervously paced the opening of the common room door, every time it would swing open to reveal a fellow Ravenclaw, her heart would make a jump skip and a leap, hoping it was Jasmine Anderson. Jasmine had mysteriously left the group at Hogsmeade, without a word, and without anything. Of course, Elina hadn't followed, but she figured Jasmine would be returning to the common room soon. The door swung open again, and in stepped a first year Ravenclaw. Elina let out a debilitated sigh and fell into the nearest chair that was positioned in front of a portrait of a lady with a baby. The baby was wailing, and it wasn't helping the headahce Elina had, "Pipe down, would ye'?" She snapped suddenly, her Irish accent coming out slightly. Her eyes popped open and she looked up at the portrait, "I'm terribly terribly sorry. I tend to get tempestuous when I have a headache and so much stress is going on in my life. I'm terribly sorry. Please, proceed." The lady nodded with a small knowing smile, and continued to bounce the baby in her arms, trying to calm the squalling boy.

Elina sighed again and grabbed her bag, making her way to the couch so she could sit and read. Or try to. She retrieved her copy of Gone With The Wind, and opened to the page in which she had left. The words floated in her mind, but they made no sense. She closed the book and laid her head on the back of the couch, thinking of why she was so haggard. It couldn't possibly be only because, Jasmine was disconsolate, could it? Elina hadn't really grown close to the other Ravenclaw, and yet she felt the need to be there for her. Elina waited patiently, strumming her fingers, rhthymically on her kneecap. Waiting for Jasmine to come back, and retire. The common room, soon was empty, the sounds of the students had died down to nothing. Elina stole a glance at the clock on the wall, seeing it was 12 in the morning. She bit her lip furiously, wondering where Jasmine could be.

"Elina? Are you alright?" Elina's blue eyes opened to see a first year, looking at her with a worried expression. Elina nodded and turned on her side, so she was laying on the couch. The first year smiled, though still seemed a bit worried, and made her way up to the dormitories. I shouldn't close my eyes, but I mustn't lose sleep over this, Elina thought as her eyelids began to droop. Dreams slowly came over her, and she was in sleep. Though her senses were still satirical, she couldn't help but, want to give up the hunt for Jasmine and just drift off. That was until, she heard the scraping of the portrait hole opening and someone stepping through. Elina sat up abruptly and turned to look at the girl who looked a little narcoleptic.

[anderson]

Jasmine ran out of Honeyduckes crying into her hands. The rain purred down on her as her feet took her towards a place where she could think. There was just o much in Jasmine life that she couldn’t handle and it was all coming back to her. "Life is hard but you still have to keep on going honey." Jasmine could hear Lana's word rush into her head. More tears went down her checks as she stumbled on the pavement and scraped up her knee and elbow. Closing her eyes to try to stop the stinging she sat was she was looking down into the earth. Her clothes were soaping wet and clinging to her body. Jasmine dark hair was wet and starting to curl slightly, and her heart almost seemed as if it were about to stop.

Just than she heard some one scream at her to get a move on. Looking to the side of her she saw a horse carriage coming her way! Standing her ground she wondered if she could move or not. If she didn’t move she could hurt herself really badly and if she moved she would be safe. Than she turned on her side and rolled over to the side of the road and landed in a pit of mud. Standing from the ground she looked at her clothes and felt sick to her stomach. Looking up into the dark sky she saw lighting hit the earth and leaving a sound of thunder. It startled her and she turned around and began to run down the long road which should lead to the castle. The sounds of her breathing and foot steps on the ground were all she could hear. It was all she wanted to hear at the moment and the piano. The piano was the key to Jasmine the turned on the ignition and kept her going. But at the moment her mind went blank at the thought of playing. Nothing came to mind.

Opening the doors to the castle Jasmine saw that everyone looked her way. People giggled and pointed fingers at her. Jasmine grabbed her arm and ran down to corridor and up into the Ravenclaw tower. After upon reaching it the portrait swung open and she came into the room soaking wet and full of died mud. It looked like she came from a horror movie or something. Jasmine continued to walk further into the common room and stopped as she saw a girl on the couch. Folding her arms over each other to keep warm she chatter her teeth and waited for Elina to get up. Walking over towards the fire she sat down in front of it hoping to become warm.

[ElinaHill]

Elina swung her legs over the couch and stood up to lead Jasmine closer to the fire, but the Fifth year beat her to it. None the less, Elina nodded as in understanding, and took out her wand from her bag. Pointing at the table in between two chairs that were stationed in front of the fire, she spoke clearly and with great diction, "Fervens tea." Two steaming cups of tea appeared on the table, one beside Jasmine and one beside Elina. Elina sat down in the empty seat, her wand still in hand. She saw Jasmine chattering, and looked around the common room, "Wingardium Leviosa." She pointed her wand at the blanket that was draped over the couch. Directing the blanket towards Jasmine, she set it down nicely ontop of the frozen girl.

"Jasmine," Elina started, but she didn't want to make Jasmine feel uncomfortable. If it was one thing Elina always was overwrought about, it would be being considerate of other people's feelings, "is everything alright?" Elina spoke quietly, as if not to frighen the girl. She tried to smile, but it game out as more of a grimace. There was something about the way Jasmine had left Honeydukes, how she had seemed to be extremely upset that bothered Elina.Elina was always motherly towards the people she considered her friends, and if Jasmine was distraught about something, then Elina felt the need to help her through it. No matter what the councequences.

"Would you like something warm to eat? I'm sure I can conjure something," Elina offered with a small sincere smile. Elina acciod her bag, and opened it, taking out a small plate of cookies that she had made that morning. Elina unwrapped the violet plastic wrap that muggles had invented, and set the plate down on the table in between them. They were chocolate chip cookies, and were still quite warm and lush. Taking one, Elina tore it in half and ate it slowly, wishing Jasmine would do the same.

[anderson]

Jasmine noticed Elina wake up and help her. A warm blanket was placed on her shoulders and she was offered tea. But all she did was staring off into the fire and was in her own little world. A world that no one would dare visit a world full of crushed dreams and hopes and the spirits were wondering lost. She wasn’t in the world were people went who were bad. She was just in her own world full of her crushed dreams and wonder hopes. Closing her eyes she dared not say a word, it was like the orphanage she went too. Cold, damp, and a place no one wanted to visit. The people were mean there and Jasmine was too afraid to say what they had done. She was afraid of getting hurt and wounding back up in there again.

Still shaking from her thoughts all she could say was a poem stuck in her head. "Depression has me within it's graps.
Although I am free, I cannot say I am.
For everyday has a hold on me.
They say it's just "life"...
But it's more than life,
It's like living in hell.
The sun never rises,
The sun never sets.
For me it's always night,
And I'll never be set free of this prison of mine.
To all the "normal people":
Try to live on a land mine and see how brave you are." Her words grew fainter as she kept on repeating it.

After her throat started to hurt from the mumble she was sayings he turned towards Elina and blinked at her. Looking down at the flour she sighed, "It’s just...........hard to talk about that’s all." Jasmine said in a whisper as she turned back into the fire and did not touch her tea. "No thanks." Jasmine said and pulled her knees up to her stomach. More tears went down her face as she wished to be alone. Or that special some one who she liked ever since she came here could just come up to her and help her out. Jasmine didn’t know Elina that well and could not respond her motherliness all that well. Just than she felt fire immerged inside her. She shot Elina a dark glance. "It none of your business." Jasmine said in an irritation voice and turned back towards the fire.

[ElinaHill]

"As it may not be any of my business, that does not mean I do not care." Elina stated calmly. Not wavering under Jasmine's fierce glare, many of times had she been talked to like that. And many times before did she know not to buckle under. She didn't lower her head as she normally would, but she sipped her tea and ate her cookie before turning on Jasmine again, "If it's something as horrid as you can't seem to express to friends, or try to shut out people who care about you, then I think it's more horrid than you are letting on. Look at you Jasmine," Elina whispered, "you come in at 2 in the morning, sopping wet, and probably have a severe case of pnuemonia. And when someone tries to make sure you aren't deathly ill, on top of your depression, for that dear is what you are in, you bite their heads off as if they were food." Elina gently set her cup of tea down as she spoke, her words lush and full.

"You may not think it none of my business, but if you are planning on sitting around, moping, I suggest you make it my business. I won't tolerate you sitting, crying your head off, wishing you were dead over something that can easily be fixed." Her voice was now rising, and she wondered where her courage was coming from. Although she knew that by her words, she might be endangering her and Jasmine's future, if their ever was one, relationship as friends, "For if you feel that you need to be alone in this matter, then I suggest you keep your depression on the down low, and next time you don't want help froma concerned aquaintance that you don't run out of Honeydukes when you are spending time with said aquaintance." Elina then stood up, waved her wand, and the mugs disappeared along with the cookies. She grabbed her bag and put in her right shoulder before she started towards the dormitory steps. She paused before she went up, and without turning around she closed her eyes and merely said, "Don't shove the people that care away because, they are just trying to help. Embrass it and cherish it."

[anderson]

Jasmine looked at Elina with a blank expression. The girl did not know how she felt about her own life. Standing up so she was face to face with the girl she looked her in the eyes. "Have you ever not been loved? You have parents I don’t. My parents hated me and sent me off to an orphanage were I spent most of my time alone. You lived with a caring mother and father and sister but I didn’t. I never found happiness until I moved in with Lana and Chad. So never again say I should brush off someone like I did. There are some things that need to be kept secret and it brings up to much." Jasmine said in a stern voice and eyed the older girl down. Realizing what she had done she step back and felt her checks go warm. How did she find the courage to talk to some like the way she did? Closing her eyes she took a sip of her tea and smiled as the warm filled inside of her.

Taking out her wand she taped her clothes and she was wearing a night gown with a silk robe. Tying the robe tightly to her body she taped her hair and it became natural died. Jasmine had learned these charms from books. If it was one thing that Jasmine did best and that was study. Her whole life seemed to revolve around the matter. But lately she had been playing more music than studying. Grabbing her book that she left on the counter she sat down on the couch and placed her legs out in front of her and curled them back. Opening up the small hard cover book she set it down on her lap and looked up at Elina. Taking a cookie she bit into it and thought the taste was delious. Taking another bite she smiled up at Elina, "I am sorry for my actions before. I just not I anyone and things have come in my life that really hit me hard. But you are so lucky to have a mother and father who care for you. I have none and the only person who cared for me is sick and that really gets to me. Don’t you understand?" Jasmine said in a soft voice and took another cookie and bit into it.

[ElinaHill]

"I grew up, unloved. The only person who really loved me was my sister, Ashley. My parents were too busy paying attention to her to pay any attention at all to me. I know what it feels like to not want to be wanted, I know what it feels like to be abandoned. Maybe I haven't been abandoned physically, but, I have been emotionally. So, yes Jasmine, I do know what it feels like. And if you want to keep things secret, then don't prance around crying and being depressed, it's not keeping it secret." Elina stated harshly, her tone sounding an awful lot like her mother's when she was angry.

"And, no, I can't really say I understand but, I can tell you that life is full of surprises. You might be sitting one moment, entirely happy with your life, and then something can sneak up behind you, and make you realize, 'oh, this is happening.' And when it does do that, Jasmine, you have to sit down and prioritize it. I know it doesn't sound very appealing, it didn't to me either. It grew on me eventually, so it takes time. And it all can work out in the end, it might not end the way you wanted it to, but it will work out somehow." She sighed and closed her eyes, thinking about the words of advice her grandmother had given her when Ashley was born.

[anderson]

Jasmine looked up at Elina with tears in her eyes. She had judged some one before knowing them. A tear rolled down her check and she wiped it away with the tip of her sleeve. Jasmine really didn’t know Elina that well but admired the older girl. She was smart and a lot like her self and cared for others. A smile crept on her gloomy face as she looked at her friend and smiled. "Yeah buts it’s different you had a grand mother who loved you. All I had were books. It like when you read and can be swept away to a place where you are loved and wanted..... I know that’s cheesy but that’s how I feel." Jasmine said in a low whisper as her face turned red. She never told some like that. Most people thought it was weird to study or read so much. But if you have been around it so much it’s about of you and who you are.

Pulling her hair up into a nice even pony tail, Jasmine opened up her book and lay flat out on the couch. This was her second time reading "The horse Whisper" over again. But the book was so sad and could keep any body trapped in its depths. Her hazel eyes sparkled with excitement as she read on. Jasmine was at the part where Grace and Judith were riding in the snow but their horses fell down a long cliff. The girls were frightened and Judith wasn’t moving as she reached the road. Grace was still on Pilgrims back and tired to grab hold of the reins. Than suddenly she heard a noise to the distance. Turning her head she saw a large truck coming her way. Franticly trying to reach the reins she froze as Pilgrim jumped up at the truck. Grace fell off and went trembling under the truck.

Jasmine felt her stomach turn in a knot as she looked up from her book to still see Elina there. Looking at her with kind eye she smiled and placed her book mark in its right full place. Standing up straight she looked at her friend and wondered what to say. The fire was the only voice the two girls could hear and the silent snores from their fellows Ravens. Looking down at the flour she let her mind raced with the thoughts and ideas of the book. It was getting so good and maybe Elina had read it also. Being a Raven most meant she was smart and loved to read. "So have you read any interesting books lately?" she asked finally breaking the silence.