Sorting Things Out ((Ivy))

[KiylaJohnson]

It had been months since Ivy found out about her father dying. Kiyla hadn't went to Ivy with the funeral and Kiyla had been trying her best to be there for her best friend. She told Ivy that maybe just maybe her mum, Keisha, would be able to get through to Ivy's mother. She hoped so. Kiyla and Ivy were getting aboard the train to Durham to meet Keisha and Franny Aston. They were going to figure something out. Hopefully.

"You ready?" Kiyla asked Ivy as they took their seats on the train. She smiled at her friend warmly.

Kiyla had told her mum to meet her at the train station in Durham on Feburary 3rd. That was today. They were going to be spending a few days in Durham. Kiyla's mum had agreed to try and write a letter to Ivy's mum to try to help her get a better understanding of what was going on. Kiyla prayed to God that things would work out alright.

Kiyla looked up at the compartment that held their bags. They were going to be staying at a hotel for the next few days.

[Ivy Tunstall]

((Fanny. ;D))

Ivy walked down the corridor with her friend numbly. She said very little on the entire coach journey to Hogsmeade station, and Kiyla honoured her silence. It was only when they were on the train, which they barely caught, and all the fuss of putting bags away and so on had been dealt with, that she said anything. "You ready?" Kiyla asked Ivy.
"As I'll ever be," Ivy replied grimly, as the train left and she leant back in her seat sharply. Ivy was putting a lot of her hopes in this. Kiyla's mum was used to the situation with Kiyla's parents. Maybe she would be able to sort something out with Ivy's mum. Maybe. And Fanny would be there to help, as well.

The train moved swiftly, as it was a fast train, not stopping at all the places. Ivy and Kiyla went to get lunch, but Ivy didn't really feel like eating. As she picked a piece of lettuce up with her fork and dropped it again, Ivy sighed, looking directly at Kiyla.
"I still haven't read the letter my mum sent to my dad, before he died. I suppose I need to do that now." She withdrew it from her rucksack. It was slightly crumpled now, sealed in a blue Muggle envelope. "I just don't know what's inside it," Ivy said. "And it feels kind of like trespassing, you know on my mother and father's relationship."
She put the letter on the table in front of her, next to her lunch, gazing at it passively and tugging at her hair, as she often did when she was anxious. Ivy smiled at Kiyla nervously.
"But I suppose I'll have to," Ivy said, with a sigh.

[KiylaJohnson]

((oh yeah, Fanny… sorry… see I told you my mind was scattered…I hope this post is better than the first! I think it is, at least))

Kiyla closed her eyes enjoying the tranquility of the train ride. She figured that Ivy needed the peace, anyways. Kiyla needn’t talk to Ivy until she was ready. Kiyla grabbed their lunch and began to eat it inaudibly. She watched Ivy pick at her food. Kiyla said nothing, however, and merely looked out the window.

Ivy finally spoke after a few minutes about a letter her mother sent to Ivy’s father, just before she died. Kiyla had no idea about the letter, but listened quietly and attentively. She was determined to make things right for Ivy. Kiyla couldn’t stand seeing her best friend so depressed and out of sorts. She hated the feeling of being powerless while her friend went through so much.

Kiyla sighed as she gazed at Ivy. She saw the blank look on her face yet the hope in her eyes. Kiyla bit her lip gently as she looked at the letter. She understood how Ivy felt about “invading her parents’ relationship”.

“Think of it like this,” Kiyla began softly, “your father would have wanted you to know what your mother said, right? You have the right to know what’s going on. You have the right to be informed.”<br>
Kiyla smiled reassuringly at her friend and touched her hand faintly. “Please eat. Don’t starve yourself because your heart seems to have an appetite that can’t be satisfied. Don’t think too much about it, alright? You don’t have to suffer. You are a strong young lady, believe me… I know!”<br>
Kiyla laughed softly trying to make her friend feel the slightest bit better.

‘Please, Ivy, don’t give up,” Kiyla thought to herself.

[Ivy Tunstall]

((That's it... have confidence in yourself! )

Ivy smiled faintly at Kiyla, and finished her meal as best as she could, although the bile rose up in her throat as usual. She forced it down again today, seeing as she really had no other choice and didn't want to make Kiyla worried about her either. Ivy put her knife and fork down on her plate, staring out of the window. Things were going past at such a great speed. But the time in her days always passed slowly. Very slowly, sometimes, when she couldn't think of anything but her father and her mother and why. Those days were becoming less frequent, but Ivy would rather they didn't happen. So maybe she would feel guilty, if she didn't think of her father for a day, but at least then she might have had an almost carefree day.

"I suppose I can't really put it off any longer, then," Ivy said quietly. She withdrew her paper knife from her bag. It was the one her father had always used, with an embroidered handle on it. Ivy had used to do so much of that, when she was happy. She supposed that was why Fanny was trying to get her back into it. But in a way Ivy didn't want to continue with it - it was too much a painful reminder of the past she would rather let go. She would rather let go of all her past, and not worry about it. Looking back too often was not a good thing. But Ivy was trapped in a vicious cycle. She couldn't help but look back, and she did it all the time. There was a lot of regret there.

Still, had she not gone to Hogwarts, she wouldn't have met as good a friend as Kiyla. That was one good thing about having gone. Ivy flashed her friend a smile as she opened the envelope Fanny had sealed the letter in and put the paper knife away. She opened the letter, which was written on simple sheets of white A5, her hands trembling slightly.
" 'Thomas' ", she read,

" 'As you must, I am sure, be aware, your daughter Ivy has been sending me a certain amount of correspondance. I thought I made it clear when I left that she was not to do anything of the kind. John is adverse to the whole thing, and he has not taken kindly to it. It has made things very difficult for me, as he is not the most trusting of people, and his reaction has not been at all beneficial for our two children, aged two and three.

She wants to know why I left. I had trusted that you had made the reason that I gave you for why she should not go clear to her, but it would seem this is not the case. I am not asking for an explaination of this, since she is not my concern, but I would have told her were she my daughter. ' I am her daughter," Ivy broke off, the hurt showing through in her voice. She sighed, looking straight into Kiyla's eyes, before looking away again, and down at the floor.
"There's more," Ivy told Kiyla, sliding the letter across to her, "but I don't want to know what it says."

((Right, here's what I'm going to do... at a time when my sister isn't pestering me, I'm going to IM the rest of the letter to you and you can decide what to do with it. )

[KiylaJohnson]

((Sorry it took me so long to reply... been getting...occuppied lately ))

Kiyla listened as Ivy read the letter aloud. She couldn't believe most of the things Ivy's mother said. How could a mother disown her own daughter?

Kiyla then thought about her biological parents.

'I'll have to ask them that then...,' She thought with a sigh. She looked at Ivy and bit her lip. She took the rest of the letter and began to read it over in her head.

'I am not asking for an explaination of this, since she is not my concern, but I would have told her were she my daughter.

'I am going to tell you the reason other than the one I gave you, as I wish to be left well and truly alone, without you using Ivy as a way to communicate with me, although I am fairly sure you must have guessed it already, despite your professed naivety. My friendship with John Rattenbury did not start after I had cut off contact with you and your daughter Ivy, but in fact before that. At the time I left, I was in fact carrying our first child. I am sure you must have had your suspicions of this - whether Ivy had I cannot say.

'I have worried in the past about how much my decision was influenced by this factor, and so although my own resolve remains the same, I will pass on the name of my father, in the hope this will allow your daughter Ivy to understand things a little better.

'Whether you choose to tell Ivy or not is up to you, but I will make one thing clear to you. While she remains a witch, that is my primary reason for shunning her. I cannot bring myself to associate with someone who reminds me so painfully of my childhood. I have fought to remain clear of the stereotypes surrounding my predicament, by detatching myself from the magical world which shunned me. My last association with that world died with my mother, and I will not see it live on in my children. If your daughter Ivy wishes to have a mother again, her duty remains the same.'

Kiyla looked at Ivy and bit her lip again, "I think you should know what it says."

Kiyla looked at Ivy with her tears stinging with tears. She felt so mad and angry and hurt all at the same time.

She slide the paper over to Ivy and as she did a piece of paper feel to the floor. Kiyla looked at the paper oddly and picked it up.

"George Woods?" She said mumbled to herself comfused.

[Ivy Tunstall]

((We both know I've left some things a lot longer than 6 days... )

Ivy watched Kiyla as she read the letter. It didn't look like the rest of it was any better than the start, from the expression on her friend's face. But once Kiyla had finished she said that Ivy had to read it. So Ivy did. As she did so, she bit her lip, holding back the tears that wanted to come. It was stupid, letting it get to her now. It had been like this for years. But each new letter brought back fresh pain and hurt, as Ivy was reminded of the fact that she no longer had a mother, that she had made a choice which had cast her aside.

But this letter said something new. It said that for one thing, Ivy's mother had known something about the magical world before Ivy herself had done. What was it that she knew that was so repulsive to her, that she would disown a daughter to avoid associating with it? And in that case, who was Ivy's grandfather? How was he relevant? Ivy had never known him. She had thought he must no longer be alive - her grandmother was the only person she knew from her mother's side of the family. But presumably that was not the case.

As for the other reason her mother had given on it... well... it was too complicated for Ivy to think about now. So she pushed it to the back of the mind, something she had become good at doing in the past months, bewildered. She could hardly make any sense of the letter now. It was too much at once. Too much to take in. So she looked up at Kiyla again, feeling slightly sick - she musn't be sick now though - and her eyes fell on the scrap of paper Kiyla had in her hand. It must have the name of her grandfather on it. But Ivy wasn't sure she wanted to know it. It might just make things even more complicated than they even were. She opened her mouth to say something, but then shut it again. What could she say to convey what she was feeling at this moment?