Post by kyra on May 25, 2007 20:40:54 GMT
((This takes place three weeks after the Watch As I Drift Away post.))
Kyra felt the cool, night, Hogsmeade air follow her out to Chloe’s porch from the warmth of the cottage. She seemed to be floating, drifting as she walked. Lately, everything in Kyra’s life seemed like a dream. However, this wasn’t a pretty perfect life with the perfect prince kind of dream. This was one of those strange dreams that seemed so distant and no one could make sense of including yourself. It was one of those dreams and it scared Kyra. Lately, everything in Kyra’s life was structured. Everything had a time and place and she was constantly being watched. The night time was the only time Kyra was ever really alone and that happened recently since before Chloe had insisted on pulling up the cot and sleeping in Kyra’s room. Kyra felt like a freak, one of the ones that people feel the need to watch over. Kyra felt as if they couldn’t trust her and the truth was, they couldn’t. The feeling made Kyra sick, but she couldn’t do anything to make it go away and she really had tried. Kyra eyed the flickering Hogsmeade lights. She watched the energetic teens and older people walk about the streets. Chloe cottage was very close to all of the Hogsmeade businesses. It was late, but a lot of people seemed to be about. Kyra smiled lightly wishing she could be with them. But, no, she was kept within the house most of the time. Kyra had only been back to Hogsmeade for a week. She had spent two full weeks at the hospital and they nearly made her do some sort of rehab, but Chloe insisted that she stay at home for a few weeks before she could go back to school. Kyra had been trying to keep up with her course work in the cottage, but it was nearly impossible. She sighed. Oh well. What was she to do?
Kyra walked to one of the white iron chairs Chloe had beside her pink roses that she kept growing. Kyra loved theses moments. The ones that she was alone for. Chloe basically had been near Kyra every second of the day for a week and at the hospital, someone was always around. Kyra sighed. Well, at least she only had a week left of this. She would be going back to Hogwarts to finish the year as best as she could for everything she had been through over the past few weeks. Kyra for once actually wanted to go back to school. True, she didn’t really have any friends nor had she ever, but school seemed like a better alternative than being cooped up in some cottage. Plus, Kyra was dying to do something more than therapy. Ever since she had been sent to the hospital, Kyra had seen a therapist every day, but that had been changed to every two days since she had returned to Hogsmeade. Kyra dreaded going. She hated talking about it. She hated thinking about it. What she did, disgusted Kyra, but then again, when she thought about it, she wanted to do it again. The mixed feeling about what had happened scared her, they really did, but she had decided to try and let them go as best as she could. Kyra needed at least to let go of that much.
Kyra eyed the flickering village lights once again. She wanted to go after them so badly, but she knew better. Kyra just had this feeling in her gut. She felt like if she left, Layne would come back to her, but Kyra would be gone. Kyra missed her baby sister more than anything, but she was gone. Kyra didn’t know where Blade had taken her and Kyra’s mother. Kyra had lost almost everything she loved and she knew that Blade was enjoying every moment of it all. Blade didn’t care about Kyra anymore. He hadn’t for years. The only thing he liked to do was hurt her, and he did a very good job at that. Kyra been through so much over the years and Blade always seemed to be at the core of it all. Who beat her and her mother? Blade. Who made Kyra come home and witness his hostility towards her family? Blade. Who kidnapped Delaine and Layne? Blade. Still, Kyra knew she couldn’t blame her cutting on him. No, that had been all her, but she couldn’t stop wanting to blame him just a little bit. He had hurt her so bad over the years, Kyra just couldn’t let him not take the blame for her self mutilation. It was easy to blame him plus, he deserved the blame, he really did.
“Kyra?” A voice called. Kyra shuttered. Why couldn’t they just leave her alone? “Yes?” She asked glancing back to Chloe who was standing in the doorway. “What are you doing?” Chloe asked taking steps towards her. Kyra shook her head. “Just thinking.” She said casually. Chloe took a seat next to Kyra with this look on her face. “Quit looking at me like that.” Kyra commented after minutes of silence. “Like what?” Chloe asked. “Like I can’t be trusted on my own.” Chloe shook her head. “No, Kyra it’s not like that I’m just concerned.” Kyra shook her head. “No, Chloe. You just don’t trust me. Look I made a mistake, it’s done. You can’t hold on to me forever.” Kyra said harshly. “Kyra..” Chloe sighed. “No, Chloe. I’m going back to school soon. I can’t be on watch twenty-four-seven. You will just have to trust me.” Chloe looked at her for a moment and then nodded. “I know, but Kyra you had a seizure. What if you have another?” Chloe asked. Kyra hadn’t really been thinking about the seizure, just her cutting. Kyra shook her head. “I don’t know.” She said simply. Chloe nodded. Kyra leaned over and layed her head on Chloe’s shoulder. “I won’t let you down again, Chloe.” Kyra said sleepily. “I won’t.”
Kyra felt the cool, night, Hogsmeade air follow her out to Chloe’s porch from the warmth of the cottage. She seemed to be floating, drifting as she walked. Lately, everything in Kyra’s life seemed like a dream. However, this wasn’t a pretty perfect life with the perfect prince kind of dream. This was one of those strange dreams that seemed so distant and no one could make sense of including yourself. It was one of those dreams and it scared Kyra. Lately, everything in Kyra’s life was structured. Everything had a time and place and she was constantly being watched. The night time was the only time Kyra was ever really alone and that happened recently since before Chloe had insisted on pulling up the cot and sleeping in Kyra’s room. Kyra felt like a freak, one of the ones that people feel the need to watch over. Kyra felt as if they couldn’t trust her and the truth was, they couldn’t. The feeling made Kyra sick, but she couldn’t do anything to make it go away and she really had tried. Kyra eyed the flickering Hogsmeade lights. She watched the energetic teens and older people walk about the streets. Chloe cottage was very close to all of the Hogsmeade businesses. It was late, but a lot of people seemed to be about. Kyra smiled lightly wishing she could be with them. But, no, she was kept within the house most of the time. Kyra had only been back to Hogsmeade for a week. She had spent two full weeks at the hospital and they nearly made her do some sort of rehab, but Chloe insisted that she stay at home for a few weeks before she could go back to school. Kyra had been trying to keep up with her course work in the cottage, but it was nearly impossible. She sighed. Oh well. What was she to do?
Kyra walked to one of the white iron chairs Chloe had beside her pink roses that she kept growing. Kyra loved theses moments. The ones that she was alone for. Chloe basically had been near Kyra every second of the day for a week and at the hospital, someone was always around. Kyra sighed. Well, at least she only had a week left of this. She would be going back to Hogwarts to finish the year as best as she could for everything she had been through over the past few weeks. Kyra for once actually wanted to go back to school. True, she didn’t really have any friends nor had she ever, but school seemed like a better alternative than being cooped up in some cottage. Plus, Kyra was dying to do something more than therapy. Ever since she had been sent to the hospital, Kyra had seen a therapist every day, but that had been changed to every two days since she had returned to Hogsmeade. Kyra dreaded going. She hated talking about it. She hated thinking about it. What she did, disgusted Kyra, but then again, when she thought about it, she wanted to do it again. The mixed feeling about what had happened scared her, they really did, but she had decided to try and let them go as best as she could. Kyra needed at least to let go of that much.
Kyra eyed the flickering village lights once again. She wanted to go after them so badly, but she knew better. Kyra just had this feeling in her gut. She felt like if she left, Layne would come back to her, but Kyra would be gone. Kyra missed her baby sister more than anything, but she was gone. Kyra didn’t know where Blade had taken her and Kyra’s mother. Kyra had lost almost everything she loved and she knew that Blade was enjoying every moment of it all. Blade didn’t care about Kyra anymore. He hadn’t for years. The only thing he liked to do was hurt her, and he did a very good job at that. Kyra been through so much over the years and Blade always seemed to be at the core of it all. Who beat her and her mother? Blade. Who made Kyra come home and witness his hostility towards her family? Blade. Who kidnapped Delaine and Layne? Blade. Still, Kyra knew she couldn’t blame her cutting on him. No, that had been all her, but she couldn’t stop wanting to blame him just a little bit. He had hurt her so bad over the years, Kyra just couldn’t let him not take the blame for her self mutilation. It was easy to blame him plus, he deserved the blame, he really did.
“Kyra?” A voice called. Kyra shuttered. Why couldn’t they just leave her alone? “Yes?” She asked glancing back to Chloe who was standing in the doorway. “What are you doing?” Chloe asked taking steps towards her. Kyra shook her head. “Just thinking.” She said casually. Chloe took a seat next to Kyra with this look on her face. “Quit looking at me like that.” Kyra commented after minutes of silence. “Like what?” Chloe asked. “Like I can’t be trusted on my own.” Chloe shook her head. “No, Kyra it’s not like that I’m just concerned.” Kyra shook her head. “No, Chloe. You just don’t trust me. Look I made a mistake, it’s done. You can’t hold on to me forever.” Kyra said harshly. “Kyra..” Chloe sighed. “No, Chloe. I’m going back to school soon. I can’t be on watch twenty-four-seven. You will just have to trust me.” Chloe looked at her for a moment and then nodded. “I know, but Kyra you had a seizure. What if you have another?” Chloe asked. Kyra hadn’t really been thinking about the seizure, just her cutting. Kyra shook her head. “I don’t know.” She said simply. Chloe nodded. Kyra leaned over and layed her head on Chloe’s shoulder. “I won’t let you down again, Chloe.” Kyra said sleepily. “I won’t.”