A Big Event ((Ernie))

[Hannah Abbott MacMillan]

It was a big day. It was a huge day. Today was the day Hannah was going home. But that wasn’t what made it so big. The big deal was that today would be the first time Hannah would get off the Hogwarts Express and not have her mum there to pick her up. With that in mind Hannah lay in bed an extra ten minutes completely unwilling to face the day. What would Yule be like without her mum? What would home be like without Mum? The whole summer had been such a daze… Would Da have decorated? Would he know where everything went? Hannah didn’t know if she could do this. She honestly had no choice though – Yule without Mum was bad enough but spending it at school without Da or anyone would be just that much worse. How could she get on that train knowing Mum wouldn’t be there when she got off? Nevertheless the choice was not hers and so Hannah dragged herself up in her bed and pushed aside the black blankets and bright yellow curtains.

Without any further procrastination Hannah made her way to the shower not wanting to be late after her ten-minute delay that morning. She dressed in a warm fuzzy orange sweater that day with a pair of black pants and her Hufflepuff winter cloak. After her hair was perfect Hannah put on a wee bit of pale pink lip-gloss with some blush then left the room. She used a simple charm to bring her bags down into the carriage with her. Hannah got in one with three other people she didn’t know and looked out the window as they spoke. Hannah didn’t hear a word of what was said – she was so into the worried thoughts running through her mind and the sight of the snow falling steadily outside. Hannah bit her lip willing herself not to cry as she thought of last year’s Yule celebrations. She remembered her mum smiling and laughing as they took a picture of her hanging an acorn filled with peanut butter and birdseed from a tree.

The carriage was stuffy and feeling suffocating to Hannah. As soon as they came to a stop she flung the door open and threw herself out gasping for air. She chocked for a moment as she tried to calm herself down and bite back her tears. Hannah grabbed her bags and dragged them toward the middle of the train still trying not to suffocate or cry. She found an empty compartment and threw herself down on the first seat she found. She buried her head in her hands as tears began streaming down her face and as soon as she heard the door snap shut she let out a heaving gasp and finally allowed herself to bawl.

[ernie]

He had talked out the final plans for their departure form Hogwarts with Hannah the day before. They had worked our their plans for their Holiday a few weeks before, and it was decided that he was to go from Hogwarts to Hannah's home, and stay there through Yule, before going to his home in time for Christmas and staying there until school started again. Hannah of course had been welcome to come along as well, but nothing had been decided, as her exact feelings once she returned home and faced the reality of her passed mother left her exact feelings and desires unknown.

For this day though, he had instructed Hannah that he would take care of everything, and she need to work about nothing other than getting herself and her things onto the train. He had confirmed with her father, as well as his own parents about their plans and when the train would be arriving, and he woke up an hour early this morning just to double check that everything was in place. He then proceeded to guide and instruct the younger Hufflepuffs into the carriages and then off and onto the train. Once he was sure that all the young Hufflepuffs were safely onto the train he made his way back down the length of the train looking to see what compartment Hannah had settled into.

He finally located Hannah in one of the middle compartments. The door was shut, but after a brief knock he peered inside to see her head bend forward, buried in her hands, and the distinct sound of sobs filled the small compartment. He quickly slipped inside, using his wand to draw his belongings in with him. He quickly shut the door, and secured his things before sitting down beside Hannah. He let one arm slip around behind her, and ease Hannah toward him while making a note to himself to give the compartment a once over for any need of cleaning charm after. Tears were always very messy business.

[Hannah Abbott MacMillan]

Hannah had not been in the cabin long – or maybe she had and hadn’t noticed – before the door slid open. Hannah was completely unaware that anyone was around until she felt someone sit next to her and pull her into him. Hannah relaxed at the familiar scent of Ernie and buried her head between his shoulder and his neck as she continued to cry. About a minute later her hysterics began to subside and she managed to sit up independently. Hannah forced her face to form a small smile for a moment as she whipped her sleeve across her face trying to dry all the tears. She looked up at Ernie through blurry eyes as tears continued to fall but at a less pressing pace now. “So sorry about that…” she murmured quietly her face turning a steady shade of rose. “Oh Ernie… What will I do without her? I can’t do this. I can’t go home without her.” Hannah managed to get out before her lip began to tremble too much for her to keep speaking. Hannah then rested her head back on her best friend’s shoulder as tears continued down her face.

[ernie]

Her head drooped to his shoulder and she snuggled into his neck. He wished that she wasn't crying quite so hard, after all, cleaning magic could only do so much, and he would rather not have tear stains on his shirt collar. He had exactly one for every day of the week, and it was his supply for the rest of the year, and tear stains would mean he would have one less shirt. He forced his mind away from laundry and gently rubbed Hannah's arm, trying to comfort her into some less hysterical state. As he did he let his own head lean down against hers, and he realized he didn't care as much that tears were soaking his robes.

He wasn't exactly sure how long they stayed like that. He always kept accurate time, but with his head resting against hers, he lost all track of it. After some unknown amount of time he started to pull away and he sat up stiffly, realizing that he had let himself go in the moment. She used he sleeves to wipe he cheeks and he flinched, trying to recall where he had put his handkerchief, while making a mental note to use a cleaning charm on Hannah's robes before they got off the train. She should look much more together when she greets her father.

He didn't say anything when she looked back to him, tears still streaming down her face, and she mentioned her mother. There was nothing he could say. Instead he waited for her to drop her head back to his shoulder and he wrapped a comforting arm around her again. After a moment, he placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Yes, you can go home, and with out her you will just go on. Thats all you can do."

[Hannah Abbott MacMillan]

Hannah relaxed as Ernie hugged her and placed a kiss atop her head like he had been doing for as long as she could remember – he always knew how to make her feel better – even when it wasn’t completely possible. “You don’t get it, Ernie. Going on without her would be like… like going on without you. I just can’t do it. I can’t just tromp through that door and pretend that things are fine and normal. Things aren’t fine, Ernie. And things will never be normal again. There is no normal without her. She’s my mum – was my mum. I have known her and been with her for longer than anyone else in the world. She always used to tell me we got nine months of just us – sure Da was there but when it really came down to it – she was all I had. And now you are telling me to go on as if she isn’t supposed to be here…” Hannah ranted face growing red, this time from anger. Despite that she kept her head on his shoulder as tears slipped from her eyes.

[ernie]

HE stayed still for a moment, and at first she seemed to be starting to relax. She started rater quietly, but when she said it, he blinked and it was as if he couldn't open his eyes again. It was the first time he had to face it, what it would be like to loose Hannah. He had of course been mildly aware of the fact that it would happen, that the day would come when they would graduate, but but 6 and a half school years now, from September through may he saw her every day with out fail. He would have dwelled on it for a moment, and tried to work out his thoughts in an organized and rational manner, but Hannah was being anything but rational, and he knew that he had to address that first.

He let her rant for a moment, and she seemed to be getting more upset by the moment. Finally, he drew in a breath. "Now Hannah, I know your upset but your not doing yourself any good. We both know thats not what I meant. I know you loved your mother and that you miss her, but life goes on, even when we loose someone we love. You can't change that Hannah, all you can do keep loving those you still have." His arms were both now firmly around Hannah and he pulled her a bit closer for a moment. It as one of those things that came so naturally he never realized he was doing it until it had been done and he was once again relaxing his hold.

[Hannah Abbott MacMillan]

Hannah just rested on Ernie, listening to what he had to say. He was right, she knew he was right, but it was just so hard. How could she just keep on loving her mum without missing her so much? How could she go home without her heart ripping in two? Ernie was such an angel, there for her and even spending Yule at her house. But really, she wanted her mum more than anyone. Friends are wonderful and Ernie helped more than he could imagine but… what if that wasn’t enough? What if they weren’t enough? What if this hole in her never left? What if she was never able to be as happy again as she used to be? How long would her friends still love her if she stayed so negative? How could she be so positive again?

“Easy to say but hard to do, Ernie. Just how do you expect me to go on without my mum? I mean you’re here, Ernie, and I love you for it but…” She said before biting her lip. “Just, thank you. Thank you for coming with me, Ernie. I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here. What am I going to do without you, Ernie? Next year just what am I going to do? You can’t go far, Ernie, you can’t leave me.” Hannah muttered without thinking.

[ernie]

Hannah was silent for a moment, her head resting against him, and his arms stayed wrapped around her, and he gently rubbed her back. She was obviously trying to pull herself together, and start thinking rationally again, and that was something that could not be rushed. His arms were still wrapped around her when she started to speak again, sounding much more rational that she had been previously, and he let his hold on her loosen. He listened until she got to the point where she said love. It was of course the emotion between them, he of course loved her, as they had been the best of friends ever since their first year, and she had meant it in a slightly different manner, but the word still seemed so strange and foreign. Love. Perhaps it felt so strange because it was so true.

She bit her lip and he looked down at her, giving her a thoughtful smile, he moved a hand to her cheek, almost with out thinking. "I wont leave you Hannah." He managed to say after a moment. Perhaps it was the least logical thought he had ever had, after all once they left Hogwarts he was going to the ministry and Hannah had yet to decide what she would be doing. He didn't know how they would manage to stay together, but he couldn't leave Hannah, not ever. He would have to think of something.

[Hannah Abbott MacMillan]

Hannah hugged him a little closer as he promised not to leave her then straightened up to sit on her own. She gave him a weak little smile as she whipped her tears away off her face with her sleeve. She was being silly – she really was – but just hearing those words from Ernie meant something – she knew it did. Ernie had never broken his word especially not when it was something important to her. Her lip was still quivering slightly and the odd tear broke free and traced a line down her cheek but for the most part she had pulled herself together. “You had better not” she got out in a small playful voice with half chuckle afterwards.

“So…” she said trying to be a bit more cheerful. “Are your parents going to be at the platform when we get there? I know you are coming home with me and Da but I expect your parents will have missed you. Maybe they can come for dinner. I am sure Da will be fine with the extra company and Mum always cooks too much food….” Hannah said before she realised it. Suddenly she stood up and moved to the other side of the compartment and placed her head against the window forcing her eyes to look at the flashing sights outside refusing to allow herself to think about what she just said.

[ernie]

Hannah stayed against him for a moment longer and then straightened in her seat. Most of her tears had stopped, one final drop rolling down her cheek before she joked about how he had better not, and he smiled back. He never broke his word, not for anything, and somehow it seemed even more important when he said it to Hannah. Despite her new found strength he left his hand on her back, not quite sure if it was for him or her exactly. He knew that right now she needed him, even if she was working to get the situation in hand, also though, there was a part of him that wasn't quite ready to pull his hand back; not after his previous comment at least. He said that he would never leave her, and somehow letting her go with out a plan to keep her seemed far far too dangerous.

Her tone soon became more cheerful as she changed the topic, and in usual Hannah fashion, started to babble on almost with out thought. As she did he took mental notes of the highlights to make sure he commented on what he needed later on. The most important point she had hit on so far was if his parents would be at the station to greet them as well. They of course would be. He was of course going to Hannah's house, as she touched on that topic as well, but they had not seen him sense he had left for Hogwarts at the end of the summer, and they had made plans to be at the platform to see him before he went off with Hannah again.

His mind was only partially on Hannah's talking, instead he was formulating his own answer when he caught a single word that changed everything. Hannah said Mum. He watched her for a moment, his list now forgotten, and it was easy to see that the word had simply come out before she had realized it. Hannah pushed up from the seat and walked over to the other side of the compartment, and as she pressed her head against the window her face was hidden to him. He stayed seated for a moment, trying to catch up with everything that had happened before he pushed himself up as well. He never acted without a plan, and times of chaos and crisis were certainly no time to leave plans behind.

He walked over to Hannah so that he stood beside her, not reach reaching out to touch her, and not yet saying anything either. He felt helpless, and he did not like feeling helpless. Finally, he looked over at Hannah, and took one of her hands in his. "Everything will be alright. I know it seems far from that at the moment, but life will somehow seem normal again. I'll just be a new normal. We shall make one--you and I, and we can take as long as we need to. We have our whole lives."

[Hannah Abbott MacMillan]

Hannah looked up at Hannah after a moment of him standing over her. He refused to cry. She would not cry. She could not break down again. And then he started to talk… She refused to break down again. More to comfort her than anything else she reached up and grabbed his hand. She felt better hearing him say that because Ernie never said anything he didn’t mean. Ernie always had a plan but this time she just couldn’t see what it was. Ernie was brilliant though – he always had a plan – so maybe she just couldn’t see his plan? “How?” she said quietly trying to keep her voice from breaking and her tears from letting go. With a deep breath Hannah started talking again – this time a little stronger – Ernie wouldn’t let her down. “How, Ernie? You say it will be alright – you say you won’t leave me – but how? You’re always telling me we have to grow up and there is no avoiding it… And I trust you Ernie don’t think that I don’t… But I just don’t see how this can work. How do we have our whole lives?” she asked him.

[ernie]

He was fine. Life was perfect and logical and going according to plan until Hannah said another word that got his attention. Exactly how it had been when she said mum, it was one word that changed everything, only this time the word was how. He found his hand tightening around Hannah's for a moment and he took a breath. He must not get ahead of himself. There was a logical answer, there was always an answer. He stayed silent for a moment, his mind working as fast as he could manage while still staying under his complete control. It worked through their carefully planned vacation, and down their final months of Hogwarts. His plans were perfectly laid, even for after Hogwarts, but that was where everything how seemed far less planned that he had thought. He was going to the Ministry. He had already worked it out. He already had an interview. He was already assured the position and marked his started day on his calendar. Everything was set--except for exactly how he was going to keep Hannah in that future. His mind stropped there. There had to be a way. He had told Hannah that they would be together, and there had to be. No matter what it took, he would make sure it happened.

The more he through the faster his mind worked, desperately searching for some answer, some concrete plan that he could lay out and mark off on his calender to guarantee that he would never be apart from Hannah, but the more he thought, the more he realized he didn't know. He didn't have an easy answer. School friend didn't just stay together for their whole lives. School friends moved on and left each other. School friends lived separate lives once they graduated. He looked over at Hannah, and suddenly it was as if every part of him hurt. He loved her too much to ever live separate lives.

"Marry me."
He words came out before he realized he had even thought them, and he fell silent for a moment shocked. He never did that. He never spoke with out knowing exactly what he was going to say, but suddenly, even if he didn't have a plan, everything seemed to fall into place. He let to of Hannah's hand, his mind whirling too quickly to stand still. "Yes, why had I not thought of it before" he started, as he paced across the floor. "It makes such perfect sense. I mean, we will graduate soon, and I have a job already, and I could have a house by the wedding. Its the most logical thing really."

He stopped again, and glanced over at Hannah before he turned to his trunk. He knew exactly the corner he had put it it. It took nothing more than unlatching it and lifting the heavy lid that he pulled out a small red velvet box tied with a gold ribbon. He turned back to Hannah and positioned himself so that he could get down on one knee. He then carefully opened the box, reveling a small silver wring with a gold heart. "Marry me Hannah. I know its not a real engagement ring, I got it as your Yule present, sort of as a promise ring that I would always be there for you, but it can work until I get you the real thing."

[Hannah Abbott MacMillan]

That was it. He had lost his mind. Marry him? Of course he wanted to marry him… Wait – she wanted to marry him? Hannah blushed as she thought about it. Of course she wanted to marry him – she loved him – she always had. But… Married? Her and Ernie? It was so… perfect? But why hadn’t it come to mind before? They would certainly be together forever wouldn’t they… Hannah… married. Mrs. Ernie Macmillan. Mrs. MacMillan. It certainly did make sense… It felt right. Is this what they had both known would happen all along? Or was it really a big shock? Oh Hannah couldn’t tell her head was swimming – all she knew was this felt right. Mrs. Hannah MacMillan.

Just then Ernie stopped pacing. She was still staring at him dumbstruck. He pulled something out of his trunk. He knelt before her and again tears came to her eyes but this time they defiantly were not because she was sad. It was beautiful. Yule gift. It all feel into place – he even had a ring. It was meant to be. He had known without knowing – the gods really worked in funny ways sometimes… Still not being able to speak Hannah just threw herself at Ernie. There he was in the middle of the compartment – she slipped off her seat and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Of course” she finally managed to choke out burying her face in his neck again.