Goodbye Love ((Adam and Rae))

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

Dear Adam,[/b]

Dixie couldn’t believe she was doing this. After all she had gone through to make sure she would remain by Adam’s side, she was leaving him because she wasn’t strong enough to stay with him. It was sickening to think about and she tried to keep her mind off it, but it was nearly impossible to do with the letter running through her head almost constantly. Half of her wanted to tear up the letter, burn it, and pour the ashes into the lake, but she knew that it was for the best. At least, she hoped it was. Dixie didn’t know what was right any more. She sighed and folded the last sweater she had into her trunk. Her books were piled underneath her clothes, and her shoes were going on top of them. When it was all packed up, Dixie closed the lid and latched it shut. She stood and looked around the dormitory that was empty except for her. Her side of the room was so bare, the only thing that was out in the open was the letter and the jewelry box that Adam had given her. She had wrapped it in brown packaging paper so she wouldn’t start crying when she sent it off, although she was fairly certain she would cry anyway. Dixie sighed and picked up the letter and the box before pulling out her wand and pointing it at her trunk. With a simple incantation, the trunk lifted into the air and flew out the window toward the carriage that was waiting to take her to Hogsmeade. There was something she had to do first. Dixie pocketed her wand and made her way out of the dorm without looking back. Her feet carried her to the owlery so she could use the school’s owl instead of her own or Mack’s. In one quick motion, without thought, Dixie tied the letter to the owl’s leg and put a spell on the package to make it easy to carry. The owl flew from the window, knowing full well that it would know who to find. She leaned against the wall and put her head in her hands, fighting back the tears.

"You cannot run away from weakness; you must fight it out or perish. And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?" It’s a quote from Robert Lewis Stephenson and it’s one that seemed to have jumped out at me when I read it somewhere, I can’t remember where I read it, though, and I don’t think that’s relevant. It made me think, about a lot of things. Especially with all that has gone on. Valentine’s Day you kept telling me that we need to face the reality of your condition, but I kept convincing myself that the reality of the situation was in fact the idea that you had a possibility of getting better. Who am I kidding, right? It wouldn’t matter anyway, which reality was which or which reality was better. I guess it just kills me inside to know that you changed me, you made me a better person, and you don’t remember that. You don’t remember anything about me, or about us, or about anything at all. I’ve tried to be there for you, and for awhile it was simple, for awhile it was easy and for awhile I thought I could deal with it all. Then it was as if this permanent dark cloud floated over you and you started to see things differently… I guess it was then that I realized the reality of me not being able to deal with it all hit me rather hard. I hate when things like this seem to just come out of nowhere and knock me senseless… it really makes me sketchy. I’ll deal with it, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t deal with it here.[/b]

She didn’t know how long she had been in the owlery, but when she lifted her head she realized that it was breakfast and that they would be receiving mail soon. Dixie wiped her tears away and exited the owlery, knowing that Adam would be in the Great Hall today. She debated with herself, whether or not to watch him open the letter and see his reaction or to simply fade away from the life that she had grown to love. The idea of taking one last look at Adam killed Dixie, but it wasn’t enough of a reason to get her to stay away. No, she had to do this and if she had to do it she was going to do it her way. Dixie tucked a loose curl behind her ear and crossed the corridor to the Great Hall. As she grew closer, the noise grew louder and her stomach grew tighter. Her heart was pounding in her ear, but the screeching of owls was louder than that. She stopped when she came to the entrance to the Great Hall, her eyes following the owls flying from the rafters to the tables. Her eyes locked onto the barn owl she had used as it circled above the Slytherin table and then swooped down in front of Adam. Dixie steadied herself against the doorframe as Adam reached over with confusion and took the letter and package from the owl. The owl flew away once free and past Dixie toward the owlery. She squeezed the doorframe, her knuckles turning white, as Adam opened the letter and began to read. Have you ever had that feeling in your stomach where you wish you could just take it all back and forget it ever happened? That’s what Dixie was feeling at that precise moment in time. She began to think, what if it was all wrong? What if she shouldn’t give up hope? But she realized it was too late to worry about that. He was already reading and Lord only knew how far he had gotten.

The thing that confuses me most, though, is if I can’t deal with it here? Where am I supposed to deal with it? If I can’t deal with it here where all my loved ones are or at least the two of them, where am I going to be able to deal with it? It’s a problem that I’m not ready to face but has been presented to me. Listen to me, going on in a manner and tone of voice that isn’t really who I am. I’m probably making no sense to you as I ramble on and on, but it’s difficult for me because I’ve never written a letter like this before. All the letter’s I’ve ever written have been ten times more formal and less important as this letter is. If I keep rambling on about this and how my voice changes when I write letters, I’ll never get to the point of this dreadfully awful letter that I’ve been compelled to write to you. I’m scared, Adam, I’m scared for what this letter will lead to and what will happen once I leave, because I am in fact leaving. I’m going away from Hogwarts, from my sister, from my family, and most importantly yet most reluctantly away from you. You kept telling me that it’s for the best, or maybe I completely construed what you were saying to match my fears, but I heard what I heard. You were right. We have to face up to the reality that you might never gain your memories back and that is no way for us to live.

People passed her to get into the Great Hall, some sending her odd looks, but Dixie ignored them as her knees continue to shake and she continued to hold her grip on the doorframe. Tears were welling in her eyes by now, and she had looked away from Adam not wanting to see his reaction. Her eyes focused in on Mack who was sitting next to Jack and listening to him with her eyes on Dixie. The younger girl started to stand but Dixie shook her head and smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek, “I’m fine.” She mouthed in Mack’s direction. Mack didn’t seem to believe her, but she sat down anyway, knowing not to make Dixie cross. Mack looked at Jack a moment and laughed before looking over at Adam, causing Dixie’s gaze to follow hers to him. She quickly looked away and leaned against the doorframe completely, her death grip on it slowly loosening. She kept telling herself it was for the best. That without her there to remind him, he would be able to grow and flourish into what he was before. It was what was needed. She would do everything she could to make him happy again, even if it meant getting rid of her own happiness.

I can’t continue to base my hopes on the one thing that has torn me down in the past. Love and trust are two things that will forever remain absent from my life and that’s the pathetic thing. I’m doomed to live this miserable life that I can never escape from. I thought that for a brief moment in time that you had swept into this dreadful life of mine, I could actually be happy. I could actually live my life like I had always wanted to live it. Forgetting the insanity, forgetting the abuse, forgetting the mistrust, forgetting everything except the happiness I had with you. Of course, I’ve come to grips with the fact that reality bites and that nothing good will ever come to the life of Dixie Holden. It’s different now, Adam. I’ve known happiness, and I’ve known what it feels like for it to be torn away from me. So, I’m not quite sure how much I going away will solve everything. But it’s worth a shot, especially if it means that you have the chance of living your life without me reminding you of what you had everyday.

Dixie pushed herself away from the doorway and turned on her heel to leave the entrance hall. She could feel Mack’s eyes on her as she retreated to the double doors she had entered and left numerous times. Now it was different because she knew she would never come back. She pushed open the doors and stepped outside into the spring day, thinking that the sun was probably way too bright for her mood. She shoved her hands into her pockets after fixing her purse so it wasn’t loose on her arm. The gravel crunched underneath her boots as she crossed the grounds to the carriage that was waiting for her. Before she got into it, she turned to look at the castle that had served as a home for many years. “Goodbye, love.” She whispered into the wind as a tear rolled down her cheek again.

Here comes the end of my letter. I suppose you could have completely skipped over the first few paragraphs because they weren’t anything but filler parts, but in a nut shell or in case you haven’t gotten it from the previous bits… I’m leaving. I think it’s best. I know I said I would be there for you, always, but it’s gotten so hard. I don’t do well with hard. I’m not leaving forever, hopefully only for awhile. I’ll come back and when I do, I’ll leave it up to you to find me and approach me. I’ll understand if you don’t want to, I’ll understand completely. So, simply think of this as a ‘see you later’ rather than a ‘goodbye.’

Always trusting you,
Dixie Anne Holden

She climbed into the carriage in a rush so she wouldn’t change her mind, and slammed the door shut before leaning against the seat. The carriage immediately started to move away and Dixie felt her stomach tighten even more as tears poured freely from her eyes. She leaned out the window, her eyes looking toward the towers of Hogwarts. She was going to miss the place, but even more she was going to miss Adam.

P.S: The package is the jewelry box you gave me for Christmas, I didn’t feel right keeping it and I knew it would only bring me more tears. Inside it is the figurine I gave you in return, perhaps you remember but more likely you don’t. You touch it and the figures start to move.

It’s ironic how we try to protect our friends and loved ones from the inevitable pain. Sometimes we think that we’ve succeeded, but in reality we’ve just gotten better at hiding the pain. What do you do when the pain that was healed returns? Do you face it? Or do you run like Dixie had?

P.P.S: I’m sorry.

((I figured that Rae and Adam could talk in the Great Hall or whatnot. I can move it if you want. ))

[Professor Adam Greene]

Three weeks had passed since Adam's return to Hogwarts. Although his full memory hadn't returned, Madam Pompfrey had released him to return to classes, only having to check in at the hospital wing once each day to monitor his continued progress. She had expressed hope that possibly returning to class might trigger some memories to return. With his current memory at his fifth year, he was unable to understand much of the work that he had been trying while in the hospital wing, but he was able to pick it up with a lot of extra practice. Basically, he had to relearn his whole sixth year and part of his seventh in a matter of days. It all was in his memory now, but just like the memories with Dixie, they were only there because they were relearned, not because they showed up on their own. It was a big difference between relearning and remembering- a difference that had weighed heavily on his relationship with Dix.

Adam slowly made his way to the dining hall. He hadn't seen Dixie yet this morning, but planned to try to find her later to talk. After Rae came to visit him last in the hospital, he had thought a lot about what she said and felt as though Dixie deserved an apology at least. He was doubtful that it would make everything better, but it was at least a step in the right direction. He began to realize that if he continued to act like he was, it would only drive Dixie away. As much as he wrestled with the idea of what was the best thing for them, he knew that it wasn't what he truly wanted. At the least, Dixie was there as a friend- a friend that he valued and wanted in his life, even if they never returned to what they were before the accident.

As he found a seat and began picking at the breakfast food, he found that he didn't have much of an appetite. He needed to eat though, as his body was finally becoming more adjusted to what it was before the accident. Lately, his spells of energy loss and dizziness had faded, and he was pretty much back to normal except for his memory. With a rush of wind, dozens of owls fluttered into the dining hall for the daily mail delivery. Adam kept his head down, pushing a piece of sausage around on his plate. He was surprised when a letter attached to a package was dropped in front of him. Confused, he pulled the note from the package and turned it over to see his name. He opened it and began to read...

For the next few minutes, Adam's eyes were glued to the pages that held paragraphs of Dixie's words to him. His mouth hung open as he kept on reading, hoping that this was just a mistake; that it was just a misunderstanding and that she would soon show up to explain. But she didn't. He sat and read until the end when he felt his breath stop in his lungs. Time froze for a second as the reality of the words sunk in.

At first, he was speechless and in denial. He stood up and turned his head both ways to examine the Slytherin table. Surely Dixie was sitting somewhere, just seeing if he would react. He wanted so badly for this to just be a test or something where she was just waiting to see his response. No Dixie. Nowhere. He collapsed back down into his chair, capturing the attention of those nearby. He ignored their stares and covered his face with his hands, running them through his hair. This wasn't happening. He didn't mean what he had said. He didn't want her to leave. It was all wrong.

Adam thought desperately about what he should do. Maybe she didn't leave yet. Yes, that was possible. He just needed to go find her and stop her before she left. Surely she would have wanted to talk one more time before leaving. In fact, she was probably waiting for him now. Sitting in the common room, waiting for him to stop her. He forced himself to believe this as he stood quickly and left the table.

Just then, he saw her. She was just turning from the entrance and walking the other way. She was leaving him. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Adam was frozen for a minute as shock sunk in and kept him in his place. Then, shaking free from the disbelief, he began chasing after her. "Dixie!" he shouted as he jogged through the door of the Great Hall. "Dixie, wait!" He turned the corner and stopped just after exiting the main doorway to the castle. He peered quickly across the castle grounds. Then, he spotted a carriage that was just starting down the path and away from the castle. "No..." he exhaled, barely able to get the word out. It was too late. She was leaving. Gone. The one person that he had relied on in the past weeks; the girl that haunted his non-existing memories; the only soul that he thought he ever loved... leaving, even if not forever, she was leaving just the same. Things changed when time passed. What if this was the end?

Adam sunk down to the ground and shook his head, fighting the tears that rushed to his eyes. He was gripping the letter in one hand and the package in the other. The letter was all he had left of Dixie- at least all that he remembered of her. The package, which apparently contained the Christmas gifts they exchanged was something of the past. To this point, he didn't even know they existed. And now, with Dixie gone, these gifts were the only thing that even made it seem real, but he didn't even remember them. Frustrated and unable to stop all of the tears at this point, he ripped the paper off of the box shaped item to see the only pieces of Dixie that he had.

A box with the words "Trust Me" covering the top was what he saw first. He traced the letters with his finger and tried his best to remember. But it was useless. It was just a box; a box that he only knew that he gave to Dixie because it said so in the letter. Remembering she mentioned her gift to him, he opened the box to see a glass figurine like she described. When he pulled it out, it seemed obvious that it was a figure of he and Dixie. And, just as Dixie said it would, the figures began to move when he was holding it. "What good is it anyways," he muttered to himself.

He was about to set the figure down, when he heard a faint voice. Don't leave. I like the company. "What?" he whispered, turning to see that nobody was around him. He turned back to see the figures still moving and interacting with one another. I wish I were different. Just different. Stronger. Better.. It was Dixie's voice, but Adam was sure that it wasn't coming from the figurine though. "What are you talking about?" he asked aloud, not even sure who he was talking to.Trust is trust, Adam. Even a small amount or a brief encounter of trust is still trust. The words still continued to pour into his mind. Oddly enough, he began to realize that that was where the words were actually originating from. "I'm beginning to learn that," he said, not even sure what he meant by it. Then, as if it all came back at once, he remembered it. This was a conversation the had and Dixie had before! He remembered it, just as the figurine showed. They were on the grounds, just off in the distance of where he sat in this exact moment. He saw the tree that was beside them, overlooking the lake. "I always thought it was so easy... but I guess that's because there was a whole side of trust that I had never experienced before!" Adam repeated the very words he remembered answering Dixie with.

He didn't understand how, and didn't even care why, but it was something he remembered as clear as anything. He even remembered walking Dixie back to the castle and kissing her goodbye. For the first time since he could remember, it was real. Everything became real to him. Himself... Dixie... what they had... and especially their love. But then he sunk back into the reality of where he was. Dixie wasn't there. She was gone. Even if he had a memory, she wasn't there to even know about it. His moment of temporary joy was shattered by the looming reality of his situation. Engulfed by pain, Adam collapsed back on to the stone staircase and closed his eyes as tightly as he could. Why now? Why did his memories have to return just when it was too late...

[Raelee Gray]

“Alright, look,” Rae said exasperatedly as she ran her fingers through her straight hair (why had she straightened it, again?) “it really isn’t as difficult as you’re making it out to be!” She waved her wand and the wall was cleared, “Watch. We’ll do this one more time and then I’m going to breakfast because I am starved!” Rae offered the fourth year a sarcastic smile and moved her wand in a motion as if she were drawing. Lines began to appear on the wall and soon those lines began to form a famous Raelee Gray mural. Even after Rae went over what she was doing, the fourth year still couldn’t get it, so she stalked out of the room. By the time she reached the Great Hall she was in a bad mood, which just rose through the roof when she saw Dixie leaning against the wall. Rae, even though she had no right to, felt completely defensive for Adam. Especially since she knew (yes, she had lied to Adam) that Dixie wouldn’t be staying around for long. Dixie was too weak to stay. Rae crossed her arms as Dixie seemed to pull away from the doorway to the Great Hall and rush out of the castle. She was soon followed by Adam. Rae flattened herself against the wall and watched as he went out after her carrying a package and a letter in his hands. Concern riddled her face and she debated with herself whether or not to follow. Rae chewed on the inside of her cheek and at least five minutes had gone by before she peeled herself away from the wall and followed Dixie and Adam’s lead, leaving the castle.

She didn’t have to go far, because she saw Adam sitting on the stone steps. Rae silently sat down beside him. She let the silence dance around them, her eyes looking at the grounds. Then, she let out a low whistle of a sigh and looked over at him, “She’s gone, isn’t she? Look, maybe it’s for the best. I mean, she couldn’t have been happy, and she wouldn’t be for as long as things remained this way with you. Just… maybe it was the right thing for her to do, for the both of you. Now, you’re free to go live life without Dixie holding you back. Because she was… no matter what you thought about holding her back.” Rae offered him a small smile and ran her fingers through her hair as she waited for him to say something. Her eyes traveled to the letter in his hands, and she thought that Dixie could have at least told him in person. Dixie wasn’t even strong enough to do that.

[Professor Adam Greene]

A quiet sigh brought Adam from his state of disbelief. He turned slowly, shielding his eyes from the sun as he saw Rae just beside him. He must have been so deep in thought that he didn't even hear her approach. She shared a few comments with him and then smiled. Adam didn't want to talk at first. But once he thought about Rae's comments, his emotions got the best of him and spoke for him. "Yeah, she's gone," he said, defensively. "And maybe she would have been better off," he started, unsure of how to even explain the whole situation.

Adam stood up and kicked the stone in anger. "I remember now Rae!" he said quickly, shouting, but not in an entirely angry manner. He just wanted to get it all out. "I had a memory come back. It was real. Me. Dixie. Reality. And it just had to be right when she goes off and leaves. Now what do I do. I don't even know where she is going! Plus, she didn't even tell me in person, so what if she doesn't really want to talk anymore? She said it's not goodbye forever, but what am I supposed to do? Uughhh!" He spun around and collapsed again onto the stones after his small tirade.

Then, the emotion of sadness took control of the rest as a tear fell from his eye. "She's gone, Rae... she's gone." He shook his head back and forth, starring off into the distance, his mind still repeating the words from her letter in his head. "Look," he said, picking up the figurine again and showing it to Rae. "I remember that day now. I know what happened. What we had is real now. I didn't think it ever would be, but now that it is, I don't know how to handle the reality. If I wouldn't have pushed so hard, maybe she wouldn't have left. This is all my fault. I just wish that now I could forget everything- that I could just go back into a coma and never wake up."

[Raelee Gray]

Rae watched him, quiet and listening. The realization that he had a memory return to him right when Dixie had fled was ironic all on its own, but Rae was pretty sure she knew it wasn’t unexpected. Rae brought her knees to her chest, and watched as Adam went on, shouting about it all. She knew he needed to get it off his chest, or else it would eat at him later… not that it wouldn’t anyway, but there was only so much one person could handle and Adam had had his fair share. He had sat down again, showing her the figurine, and then saying that maybe if he hadn’t pushed as hard Dixie would still be there and that he wished he was back in the coma. At that, Rae looked at him so sharply it looked as if she were wishing to slap him. “Don’t say that, Adam!” Her voice held so much venom, but she hated seeing him like this… truth be told, she hated seeing anyone like this. She hated it even more because Adam, even if he didn’t think the same of her, was one of her friends and she didn’t want her friend to have to deal with anything more than they should have to. “Adam, think about this logically.” Figures, the Ravenclaw going about something with logic.

“If Dixie hadn’t left, if she hadn’t written that letter, if she hadn’t given you that figurine… would you have remembered anything at all?” Rae gently took the figurine from his hand and stared at it. It was quite interesting to look at, especially when it caught the sunlight, but other than that Rae had no clue as to the significance of it. But perhaps that was why Adam was freaking out… if this figurine was strong enough to bring back a memory that he couldn’t bring forth for weeks, surely it meant so much more to him than Rae could ever imagine. She handed it back to him and sighed, “I don’t know what you’re supposed to do, but I can give you two options that you can do.” Rae looked at Adam a moment, and then looked away with a grim determination in her eyes. “You can, one: try to get over it and finish Hogwarts, and maybe then she’ll be back and you can talk it out. Or, you can, two: track her down and go find her and see where everything goes from there.” Rae chewed on the inside of her cheek as she watched the sky.

“OK, I lied.” She muttered as she looked back at Adam, “There’s a third choice. Your third choice is to wallow in your grief, let your grades drop, completely surround your mind with memories of Dixie, and be a huge pain in the butt for the next couple of months for the rest of term.” She smirked and shrugged, “Please don’t choose the last one. Seeing you brood is never fun, and you’ve been doing that enough over the past couple of months.” Her ill attempt at humor only made her feel like a fool, and Rae simply sighed after saying what she had and leaned back on the stone steps, her face turned toward the sun. “I think it’s for the best that she’s gone… you don’t want her in your life, Adam, I’m serious. Girls like Dixie are dangerous…”

[Professor Adam Greene]

Rae's harsh tone caught Adam off guard, but she was right. He was being ridiculous. It was just hard though. The past few weeks had been so straining, and it was just easiest to be selfish about it all and continue being negative. Maybe Rae was right about it all. Maybe he and Dixie just needed some time apart to sort through things. She would be back, right? They could always just try again when she returned. Especially if all of his memories had returned by then. It would be perfect. She would come back and be surprised and they could just go back to normal. Too bad that was based on nothing concrete. It was simply what Adam preferred to tell himself to make the pain go away.

"I guess that's true," he finally spoke in a more calm tone. "Maybe it was only because she left that the memory came back. But still, I just feel like all of life has been so against me in the past month. You know, it was like I woke up in a world I didn't even know. And right when Dixie leaves and takes it all with her, the memories of that world return, and now I am stuck in it all alone." Adam thought about it for a few moments. It was all so ironic, really. It was like happiness was running from him- happiness in the form of Dixie.

He listened as Rae gave some more advice, telling him what she thought were his options for the situation as it stood. He nodded when she was finished. "I think option one sounds the best," he concluded. "I would try to find Dixie, but she didn't say where she was going. And yes, I could try to track her down, but maybe that wouldn't be the best thing. She obviously left for a reason. I guess I will just have to trust that she will come back and, like you said, maybe we can work things out then. Plus, if I leave Hogwarts now, I would lose my spot that I have reserved for me in the Ministry of Magic. Not that I put that above Dixie, but it's just a gamble, you know? What if she is done with us, moving on, like I told her to?" He hung his head, thinking about how much he really did push her away. He really had thought it was for the best, but he never expected it to end like this.

"No wallowing from me," he said with a smile. Then, Rae made a last comment that got him a bit defensive at first. But, then he just shrugged it off, thinking that he wasn't really sure at this point what to think about he and Dixie. They did have something real, he remembered now, but maybe it really was a stretch to think that it would ever go back to that. So much had happened that neither of them could control, and maybe it was just fate's way of showing them that they weren't meant to be. It was hard to swallow though- really hard. But Adam knew that Rae was right in saying that he should just start to move on. It really was best for him in the long run, he figured. Trying his best to stay positive, Adam held a slight smile. "Thanks for being here, Rae," he said, looking back at her. She really had been a huge help with him trying to deal with everything. He knew she meant well, despite throwing her opinion in there. And, even if he didn't think that everything she said was totally right, he respected her views and knew that she made some good points.

[Raelee Gray]

Rae sighed and shook her head as Adam spoke. She wanted to be there for him, because Merlin knew Dixie wasn’t, but she knew she couldn’t be there for him in the way that Dixie could. Rae was just Rae, she wasn’t even a friend before all this happened and now that Adam had the memories about Dixie back Rae was pretty sure that she wouldn’t be much more than a sarcastic face and someone who got really annoying after awhile. Rae ran her fingers through her hair again, she couldn’t possibly know what Adam was going through and she wasn’t going to even try to pretend to know what he was going through. “Yo-you aren’t alone. I mean, yeah, maybe I can’t fill any hole that Dixie left, but I’m still a friend that you can turn to for help, advice, or a good slap across the face when you need it… you aren’t alone in this place.” Rae wondered how good of a friend she could be. Her world when she was friends with Dixie had been completely different than the world that she lived in now. Dixie hadn’t been the only one who changed and grown up. Even if Rae’s little drinking binge the night of Christmas Eve had given Dixie the idea that Rae was still the same old Raelee Gray, she wasn’t.

As Adam spoke again, Rae was silent because she didn’t want to say something that would either make Adam mad or something else. He was right, he could track her down, and if Rae knew Dixie, Rae knew that’s what Dixie was expecting, possibly even hoping that he’d do. It wasn’t until he had hung his head that Rae shrugged and shoved her hands into the pockets of her robes and spoke. “I don’t… I don’t think she’ll ever really get over you, or move on. It isn’t in Dixie’s nature. She might appear to be over things, but in reality she really isn’t. We’re talking about the girl who hid her insanity well enough to have fooled the people at the asylum. Hiding her true feelings has to be child’s play for her. Don’t give up hope on it, unless you really want to, but don’t put everything aside because of that hope. You have to prepare yourself in case she doesn’t return or if she does and she doesn’t want to continue. Like you said… it’s a gamble.” Rae looked over at Adam, her eyes watching him intently.

When Adam said he wasn’t going to wallow, a big grin brightened her face. “That’s what I like to hear.” She looked away again, watching a pair of birds fight over a worm. She glanced back at Adam when he thanked her for being there for him, “No problem, it’s what friends do for each other, isn’t it?” Rae smirked and stood from her place on the stone steps. She crossed her arms and looked around the grounds before looking down at Adam with a mischievous smile on her face. “What do you say we go nick some food from the kitchens?” Rae was starved considering she hadn’t gotten to eat in the Great Hall, and she would rather enjoy a meal with Adam than listen to the Ravenclaws go on and on about their studies. She motioned toward the great double doors in front of her but behind Adam, “C’mon, I know those house elves are more than happy to give us their services.”

[Professor Adam Greene]

Rae had a lot of good things to say. She really was helping Adam to cope with what had just happened. Within minutes, he had been able to accept something that he thought was tearing his whole world apart. However, he wasn't quite sure if the peace was only temporary. What if the reality of it all sunk in later and he just went back to feeling completely lost and totally out of control. Maybe that's where Rae's statements about him not being alone made sense. If she was willing to be a friend to him in this time, he wasn't going to reject the offer. Rae did have a way of making him at least think straight. It was hard though, trying to accept the fact that maybe he was OK with things how they were. It was almost as if he really was letting go of Dixie by acting as if it wasn't the end of the world. He almost felt like he needed to be sad and lonely just to show that he cared. But he did know that no matter what happened, Dixie would always hold a piece of him, especially now that his memories were returning, or at least the one. He wasn't sure if the rest would, but he had a hope now that they could, so that was a plus. He also found a little comfort in the fact that Rae thought Dixie could never truly forget him or let go. Maybe that was all he needed to move on with the here and now and let the future come as it may.

"Yeah," he finally spoke, "food sounds like a good idea. I didn't eat much even though I did already stop in the Great Hall. "I'm not sure how healthy my appetite is, but I should probably get some nutritional content into my body. Adam stood from the stone and picked up the figurine, putting it back into the jewelry box. When he placed the lid back on the top, he starred at the words for a second. He tried remembering the box and whatever memories it might bring as well. However, unlike the figurine, the box didn't help to remember anything right away. He would try later, he thought as he read the words to himself. Trust Me. Not really sure why, or what it even meant, but as Adam read those words, a calmness settled deep within him. No matter what was happening now, or what had happened in the past, whether he remembered it or not, Adam had a feeling and he knew that whatever the future held, everything would be OK. He didn't have the answers, but he was trusting that it would all work for the best in the end, regardless of what happened.

He and Rae headed back to the castle where they were happily greeted by the house-elves who were more than thrilled to serve them food. They ate and talked, and ate some more. No matter how much he appeared to be content though, his mind still wandered back to the same person- Dixie.