The Moment I Said It ((Jasmine))

[Brantley Chapman R7]

Brantley raked his fingers through his brown hair, which was very unkempt and looked like he hadn’t brushed it in weeks. His blue eyes darted from his Astronomy homework to his Divination essay to his Potions project, all that were due that day, and all that he hadn’t even started. He had fallen considerably behind in his assignments, which was ironic for a Ravenclaw, but he couldn’t help it. It was difficult enough to be in the same common room with her in fleeting moments or in the Great Hall for three meals a day, but add the numerous classes they had together and Brantley was in pure hell. Even Caitlin, whom he had started talking to quite a bit more, had noticed his sudden downhill turn from being the usual witty Brantley Chapman to the less eccentric and less witty Brant. It wasn’t something he could help, especially since he was now regretting ever taking the same classes as the rest of his house mates. Today had been the worst, though. Herbology had been pure torture as Jasmine had smiled and hadn’t even glanced over at him. Was it really that horrible of a thing for him to do? Had she really been frightened so much to avoid him? It had been weeks after the ball and she still hadn’t said more than two words to him. After awhile, the numbing hurt had eased into anger. Red hot anger that had caused Brantley to shove his cauldron full of truth serum off his desk in Potions. He had immediately cleaned it up with a flick of his wand before Snape could deduct points, though. After his outburst, he was back to feeling hurt and had to fight the urge not to just bury himself in the book he had started to write. Now, even that hobby seemed more of a distraction that didn’t work.

His eyes remained on his mounting homework in front of him, and he finally came to the decision that it wasn’t going to work. He shoved the parchment and books away from him and stood from the table he was sitting at in the common room. It wasn’t empty, but there weren’t many people in there either. Brantley’s eyes traveled over the crowd once and when he was satisfied that Jasmine wasn’t in there he made his way up to his dormitory. It only took him a moment to find what he was looking for, and without delay he was back in the common room and out the portrait hole. His feet carried him through the corridors and his eyes stared straight ahead of him. He didn’t even stop when he passed Caitlin who was leaning against the wall and talking to a guy he recognized as Colin Creevey. She spotted him, though, and after muttering a quick goodbye to Colin she chased after him. “Telescope eyes! Where are you heading?” Brantley didn’t stop, he didn’t even stumble as he skipped the trick step that was on the staircase he was going down. “Brant, wait! What’s going on in that head of yours?” Caitlin called as she stopped chasing after him, hoping maybe then he would stop and talk to her. But he didn’t. He continued to stride into the Great Hall.

It only took him a moment to find Jasmine sitting with her friend Sapphire, who was also in their year and house. Brantley took a deep breath and then made his way over to Jasmine, his hand curling around the velvet box in his pocket. Eyes stared in his direction as he nearly ran toward Jasmine. When he reached about two seats away from where she sat, he took out the box and threw it down in front of her, anger relishing in his eyes. “That’s a thank you gift, Mademoiselle.” He breathed through grit teeth, his blue eyes bright with anger and pain. He leaned over and whispered into her ear, “A thank you gift for curing my ridiculous obsession with love.” Brantley sneered and then pulled away and stalked out of the Great Hall, the pain now back in his heart more than the anger.

[Jasmine Anderson]

Jasmine stared blankly down at the half filled piece of parchment of notes, her mind slowly drifting away from her studies. The only thing that had been circling her mind for the past few weeks was that kiss at the Valentines Day ball. Touching her lips at the memory, she shook her head to silence her racing thoughts. Glancing back down at the paper, Jasmine tried hard to concentrate on studying. There was a History of Magic test tomorrow, and there had been too many things cluttering Jasmine’s mind to even look through her notes. Why had she even continued taking the subject? It wasn’t going to help her at all in becoming a healer. Actually, Jasmine didn’t know if even wanted to do that. All she knew was her life had to involve horses and magic. Sighing heavily, Jasmine set her right elbow on the table, resting the side of her cheek in her hand. Turning the parchment over on the other side, her hazel eyes searched down the paper, trying to take in all the information. She could only keep this up for a few more moments until the same question raced across her mind all week. What was she doing? Ignoring Brantley wasn’t going to resolve her problem with love. Jasmine at first thought that just staying away from him will help her try to sort out her own feelings for him. That wasn’t it though. She was running away from something she wanted so badly. Her life before Brantley was doomed to a life of only loving horses. He was everything she was looking for in a guy. Smart, witty, charming, romantic, good-looking, and to top it all off, he loved horses. How could she be so stupid?

Gently massaging her temples, Jasmine closed her eyes tiredly. Slowly, her thoughts began to seize. She had to talk to him. Tell him sorry, but was he ever going to forgive her? Heck! She wouldn’t forgive herself if she was him. Sighing, she looked over at Sapphire who was hard at work in her essay for a different class. Smiling as her friend lifted her to look at her, Jasmine took the paper that she was reading off from. Her hazel eyes went slowly down the paper, taking her time to read every word. Sapphire always was good at writing essays. Actually, a lot of Ravenclaws were. “It looks really good so far.” Setting the paper back down in front of the girl, Jasmine looked back down at her notes. This would be the millionth time she would try to study like she always did, just without the flashcards. Just before she could even think about Brantley, something was thrown her way. Staring at the velvet black case, Jasmine’s gaze slowly looked up to see Brantley standing just a couple seats away from her. Her hazel eyes stared into his blue ones, seeing both anger in pain in them. Had she caused that? Jasmine’s heart rate quickened as he whispered irately into her ear, telling her that she had cured his obsession over love.

Slowly, her heart began to fill with pain as she watched him walk away from her. Quickly jumping up from the table, Jasmine picked up the velvet case as she ran toward Brantley. “Brant!” she called out from after him, hoping that he would at least turn around or stop. “Please?” Jasmine begged as she stopped in the middle of the hallway watching his retreating back. Without even thinking, she hurled the velvet case in his direction. It hit Brantley square in the back, but Jasmine hoped it would be enough to stop him. “Will you please just listen to what I have to say Brant?”

[Brantley Chapman R7]

Brantley was already out the door by the time Jasmine was chasing him, pleading for him to stop. He didn’t, though, grim determination was set on his face as he continued down the corridor. He was about to step up on the first step on the grand staircase when he felt something hit him square in the back. Brantley froze, his foot in mid step, as Jasmine spoke again. This time what she said made Brantley’s anger rise even more. He stood there, letting his foot drop next to his other one, and then he bent down to retrieve the box from the floor. He twiddled it in his fingers a moment and then without a word, he turned around and threw it harshly against the wall to the left of him and to the right of Jasmine. It smashed against the wall and opened to reveal the necklace. Brantley took a couple of steps toward her, his anger apparent in his eyes and his jaw clenched tight. “Oh, you want to talk now do you? You didn’t feel like speaking much over the past month, why start now?” The necklace had slid over to his feet and as Brantley stared at her, he began to notice the students that were crowding around them. He wondered if he should let her be embarrassed by the words he had boiling inside of him, but he decided against it and grabbed her arm to pull her into an empty classroom. His feet smacked down on the necklace and there was a loud ‘crunch!’ beneath his foot as he ushered Jasmine into the nearest classroom.

Once he was satisfied that no one could get in except a professor, Brantley turned to Jasmine with a raised eyebrow.

[Jasmine Anderson]

Jasmine watched as Brantley took still for a moment, his right foot still above the ground. Her chest was expanding rapidly from the deep breaths she was taking, and the rate her heart was racing. At least she had made him stop. He soon turned back around, picking the velvet case off from the ground. Jasmine stood frozen in her spot as she stared into Brantley’s face. There was even more anger in his expression than before by the looks of his tight jaw. This wasn’t like the Brantley she knew from a month ago. Flinching as he threw the case against the wall, she watched it slump to the ground. A beautiful necklace glittered under the light, the chain falling down toward Brantley’s feet. Looking up at him, she glanced around them noticing that students were gathering around to watch the scene. Wonderful, just what she needed. She wanted to tell them to go away, but felt the tight pull of Brantley. Quickly bending down to pick up the smashed necklace, she followed him into the empty classroom nearby.

Staring down at her trembling hands that held the broken piece of jewelry, she looked up at Brantley. This couldn’t be the Brantley Chapman who she had met in the court yard a couple months ago. Did she really inflict this much pain on him? “What has gotten into you Brantley Chapman?” she asked, her hazel eyes piercing inside of his. She was convinced this wasn’t the guy she had fallen so quickly for. Though, it wasn’t her place to ask that question, since she had been avoiding him for the past few weeks. Placing the broken necklace down on the table next to her, Jasmine glanced back at Brantley, her light colored seems calm. “Please…just calm down,” she asked in a gentle voice, slipping both of her hands into his, hoping that it would stop him from attempting to throw anything else. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her, ever.

“I’m sorry Brantley…” she began biting the side of cheek as she tried to put her apologies into words. “I’m sorry for running away from you at the ball and ignoring you…I guess I was really just trying to run from this….frightened to just open my heart.” Sighing, Jasmine looked up into Brantley’s face, her hazel eyes still overflowing with calmness. “To answer your question before, we both know we can’t go on like this."

[Brantley Chapman R7]

Brantley crossed his arms over his chest as if that were going to help with his heavy breathing. His eyes continued to pierce Jasmine and there was a silence between them that was so tense that one could cut it with a knife. When she asked what had gotten into him, Brantley, for the first time that month, smiled. It was a crazed smile, one that looked positively insane and was slightly scary. “What’s gotten into me? What has gotten into me? I could ask you the same thing Jasmine! You who has run from me every time you see me in the corridor! You who won’t say more than two words to me unless I throw something at you and stalk off! You used to talk to me so easily and you used to smile whenever you saw me, what has gotten into you? I know what my problem is. My sodding problem is you!” Brantley’s eyes intensified with anger and pain as he stared at Jasmine and his smile faded into a sharp frown with the raising of his voice.

When she slipped her hands into his, Brantley tore his away from hers. “Calm down? You’re telling me to calm down? You’re the reason why I am like this! It’s your blasted fault, all of it! It’s because of you that I can’t focus on anything! My studies have dwindled down to absolutely nothing! I can’t focus on classes or anything and it’s all your bloody fault.” Brantley shook his head and stared down at Jasmine, anger still so apparent in his eyes but there seemed to be a mixture of hatred in them too. He didn’t hate Jasmine, it was far from it, but he did feel something that wasn’t too nice toward her. He didn’t know if it was born from the anger and pain in his heart or if it had just generated from out of nowhere. Either way, the emotion was so strong in him that he had to control himself from screaming at her, though his voice was rising with every sentence he spoke.

“Oh, you’re sorry, are you? Sorry that you’ve realized what a great thing you’ve been running from?” His accent was thick as he spoke, it was almost becoming one of those thick British accents that most people (unless they were British themselves) could not understand. “You know, you aren’t the only one here who is frightened about things like this! You’re frightened of what it could bring and I am frightened of the rejection that you so plainly put on the table at the Ball.” Brantley scowled and moved away from her his eyes dark and his eyebrows narrowed. When she said the next bit, his anger rose to a whole new level. “Well, it’s nice of you to come to this realization now.”

[Jasmine Anderson]

Jasmine bit nervously on the side of her cheek as she watched Brantley’s face closely. His lips curled into a crazy smile that Jasmine had never seen before. It wasn’t any ordinary smile she had seen. This one was different, as if trying to mock her. She missed seeing the happy, content Brantley, and wanted things to be the way they were before. If only she had a time turner to go back, stopping herself from doing this to him. Jasmine listened to Brantley’s words, feeling completely hopeless as he spoke. Glancing down at the ground when he finished, she avoided eye contact. Jasmine couldn’t stand to see the pain mixed with anger inflicted in his eyes. “What do you expect me to do Brant?” she finally asked after moments of silence. Looking up from the ground, her hazel eyes pierced into his blue ones. “Did you think I would waltz right up to you as if nothing happened?” Jasmine’s own frustrations were beginning to bubble over. “You kissed me…” she spoke softly, averting her eyes back down at the ground as she touched her lips tenderly. "How was I supposed to react?” Running her hands through her dark hair, Jasmine looked back up, staring intensely at Brantley. “I would quite honestly love to know what you had in mind for us. Or even if you meant to kiss me, or maybe it was just in the moment of the song.”

Sighing as Brantley tore his hands away from hers, she jumped slightly at his outburst. She had deserved this, but not so harshly as Brantley was putting things into at the moment. “Blame it all on me! Just take out all your anger and frustrations on me. Do you think that’s going to solve anything?” she blurted out, crossing her arms over her chest, taking in a deep breath. “Do you know about how I feel at the moment? Don’t you think I’m feeling the same way?” she asked her eyes sparkling with fresh tears. “’It’s not like you’ve ever run, or hidden from your fears. You do it everyday! Hiding in that little bubble of yours, shielding you from rejection of the world…Well you know what? You’re going to get rejected sometime or another....” Jasmine bit her tongue to stop the tears that were close to sliding down her face. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she apologized quickly stepping out of the way as he turned his back on her. “I really, really, really care about you Brantley. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone else. You make me so happy by just the littlest things, like looking in my direction, or even giving me a puzzle to solve. Nothing will ever change that, not even how you’re overacting right now.”

Taking in another deep breath, she reached out for the door knob, turning it. A loud click was heard as the knob didn’t budge. Turning back around toward Brantley she walked over toward the table where the broken necklace lay. “Open the door Brantley.” Jasmine’s voice was low, but still audible. Looking up at him, she shook her head in frustration. “This isn’t going to go anywhere right now….”

[Brantley Chapman R7]

The silence that had settled itself around the two of them made Brantley as uneasy as he was angry. He was waiting, almost too impatiently, for Jasmine to say something. She was just standing there, looking at the ground. For Merlin’s sake, what could be so interesting on the sodding floor?! Finally, she spoke, but her words weren’t really all that soothing and it just made him even angrier. “Well, yeah, is that wrong? I mean, I didn’t exactly expect you to act as if nothing happened, but I didn’t plan on you completely avoiding me.” Brantley crossed his arms over his chest as Jasmine said the next part. Oh, this was ridiculous. “Yeah, I know I kissed you. I was there, remember? I also know you ran away after I kissed you. ‘S not very flattering, you know? The least you could have done was tell me not to kiss you again and then tell me you wanted to leave. I wouldn’t have stopped you, Jasmine.” Brantley his fingers through his own hair and resisted the urge to cover his face with his hands. When Jasmine spoke again, he shook his head incredulously; “That doesn’t matter now does it, Jasmine? You don’t care a bit, and if you do you sure have one funny way of showing it.” Brantley shook his head as he began to pace back and forth across the room, his own eyes avoiding Jasmine.

Jasmine said something more and Brantley stopped pacing long enough to chuck a chair across the room at the opposite wall before leaning both hands on the table that separated him from her. “It will bloody well make me feel better! It is all your blasted fault. You’re the one who decided to run like a little child to her mother.” His eyes pierced hers, and before he even said it he knew he was going to regret it, but he couldn’t help it. “Oh, that’s right, you don’t have a mother to run to, so you were just running. Did you think that would solve anything?” Brantley immediately averted his gaze after he said that, not wanting to see the pain in Jasmine’s eyes at the mention of something so sore to her. He couldn’t help it, he was out of control. It didn’t matter what pain he had caused because soon Jasmine had said something that struck another anger chord in him. Brantley looked up at her and shook his head again, “At least when I hid away in my little bubble, I didn’t know you.” His voice held so much venom as he spoke, but it wasn’t raised which probably made it that much worse. When Jasmine said she didn’t mean it the way it sounded, Brantley merely shrugged and turned away from her, walking over to the window that over looked the courtyard.

His eyes focused on the fountains as Jasmine continued to talk about how she cared about him, blah blah blah. When he heard the familiar click of the doorknob, he didn’t turn around. He didn’t even turn when Jasmine asked him to open the door. Without a word, he flicked his wand and the door unlocked and swung open. Before she could leave, Brantley said over his shoulder slightly; “Do me a favour and stay out of my life.”

[Jasmine Anderson]

Jasmine’s arms were still crossed over her chest, as she took in deep breaths. She felt her frustration slowly beginning to boil over. Just like a pot of water left on the burner for too long. “You are just so…” she began, trying to find the right word to describe him. Nothing. Sighing, Jasmine ran her fingers through her hair tiredly, looking up at him. She rarely ever got frustrated, or angry at someone. It was just something about Brantley’s words that was just gradually pushing her over the edge. When he told her what she should have told him after the kiss, she felt like she had taken another step over the edge. “I don’t want that!” she blurted out suddenly, her eyes stared intensely at him, holding his gaze as he chest continued to heave. “I want a thousand more kisses from you…how could you say I don’t? I may not have responded the way I should have, but that doesn’t change how I still feel!” Brantley’s next word almost made Jasmine want to scream back at him. How could he say such things? “Not care about you?” she asked, her voice filled with shock as she glared at his pacing back. “How could you say that I don’t care about you? Haven’t you heard a word I’ve been saying?” Jasmine took in a deep breath as she continued to stare at him. “You’ve have been my top priority ever since that day I met you in the Courtyard and after I met your mom. I wanted to make you happy, to ease the pain of your mom dying, and I’m sorry that I made a huge mistake. Just don’t you ever say that I never cared about you again.”

The silver necklace still lay tangled up in her palm. Jasmine’s fingers began to trace the heart shaped circles, being careful. She flinched slightly as Brantley threw the chair across the room. At least he wasn’t using her as target practice. Staring back into his blue eyes, Jasmine felt her heart literally being torn out of her chest. How could he say such a thing? Throwing her head back as her eyes closed, Jasmine felt tears roll down her cheeks. He had succeeded in taking his own anger out on her. “How could you say such words?” she asked, her voice shaking barely. Opening her eyes to gaze back at Brantley, more tears fell down her cheeks. “Are you happy now?” she asked, anger clearly showing in her tense voice. “Happy that you’ve brought me to the lowest point than before, well I won’t snoop down to your level and say anything about your mother.” Using the end of her sleeve to dry the wet spots on her face, she continued to glare at him. “You aren’t the gentleman that I thought you were. You’re not even a gentleman at all, let alone a knight in shinning armor.” Jasmine didn’t know what else to say without making him lashing out at another thing in the room.

When the door opened, Jasmine felt a wave of relief pass through her. There was a part of her that wanted to give Brantley time to calm down and the other part to stay. She was the main reason of his pain, so it would be best if she had left. Walking up behind Brantley, she slipped her right hand into his, the necklace landing in the palm of his hand. “I’ll gladly enough stay out of your life, if you stay out of mine.” With that, she turned around sharply. Walking out the empty classroom at a brisk walk, she headed up the stairs to the Ravenclaw tower to lock herself in the dorm room.