How Soon Is Now? ((Myka))

[katy]

Katy made followed closely behind her friends within the large mob of Hogwarts students ready to start the feast. She felt clustered with everyone squishing in together trying to get to their seats. Laughter and chatting filled the great hall as she took a seat down toward the middle of the table. A couple of other fifth year sat down around her and they all chatted about this new year at Hogwarts. Many things had happened recently over the summer. There were death eater attacks as usual that affected so many people. Why couldn’t the Ministry do better in protecting the wizarding world? Aurors could only do so much, but no one should have to deal with what half of what was happening. Not only what was going on in the wizarding world that was making Katy distraught and confused but about her self. It had just came to her this summer that she wasn’t this pretty girl who had tons of friends and had only boys on her mind. Why couldn’t she be that? Why did she have to be who she was now? Katy didn’t take that shock quite as nicely as she should. After years of thinking you were just waiting for the right boy to sweep you off you feet, she realized that it wasn’t a boy that she was waiting for, but a girl.

Her mind had been drifting off into thoughts of the summer as the first years were called up to the sorting hat. When the hat would scream Hufflepuff, Katy would clap along with all her classmates and smiled at each little first year that came to have a seat. She couldn’t believe that five years had flown by so fast. When the ceremony was over and the speech from Headmaster Dumbledore was spoken the feast began. Plates of food began to appear on the table and everyone look at the mounds with greedy eyes. Piling food on top of her plate she began to eat while continuing her conversations with everyone around her. The main concern of this school year was Quidditch. Katy hadn’t gone to the Quidditch matches between any of the countries since her father and brother was muggles and she had no way of getting tickets. Most of her friends had gone to the game and told her all about it, but Katy didn’t like Quidditch all too much anyways.

The great hall soon began to empty of students. The prefects showed all the first years where the common rooms were. Katy didn’t feel like leaving any time soon. She wanted to spend some time some place quiet to just think. She wished she had brought her sketchbook and just drawled but everything she had was in the trunk which had probably made its way to the dorm rooms. Resting her right elbow on the table she cradled her head in her palm. The hall was completely empty, and Katy was enjoying the silence. Her eyes closed slowly to only be open within a second as someone sat on the table next to her. Looking at the person with a raised eyebrow, Katy waited for them to speak.

[Myka Young R6]

Myka always seemed to find the first feast of every year to be rather dull. Dumbledore said the same thing every year. Of course, the sorting ceremony was the same as always – and when someone was sorted into Ravenclaw, she clapped. Didn’t smile. Just clapped. Myka rarely smiled. Many knew her as the moody Ravenclaw sixth year, but that didn’t bother her. She would rather be known more moody than as friendly. There was a reason she was sorted into Ravenclaw and not Hufflepuff. Well, aside from her intelligence. When the ceremony was over and Dumbledore gave his tiring speech, food appeared on the tables and everyone nearly lunged at it. Myka watched all her housemates with slight disgust and then grabbed a pear. She tossed it from her left to her right hand and then took a bite of it. Myka hated eating in front of people. She usually stayed behind and had a complete meal then, tonight would be no different. As long as she was in by curfew.

As her housemates laughed and talked, Myka felt her eyes wander around the Great Hall and they stopped on the girl they had stopped on for the past two years. She was a Hufflepuff. Dirty blonde hair, blue eyes. She was pretty. Complete opposite of Myka. She was a year below her, and that amused Myka. Because Myka saw a lot of her in that girl. She didn’t know her name. She never asked – nor did she ever listen. But that wasn’t a problem. All Myka was doing was observing, and right now that was all that was needed. Myka finished her pear and took her gaze away from the Hufflepuff long enough to see someone whispering to someone else while looking directly at her. Just to amuse them, she puckered her lips together and sent them a quick air kiss.

When dinner was over, Myka stayed in her seat as everyone else stood and left. She ran her fingers through her black hair and then looked around, realizing the Hufflepuff had stayed behind as well. Smirking, Myka stood from her seat at the Ravenclaw table and made her way over to the far right – sitting down on top of the table and grabbing a roll. She bit into it as the girl looked up with a raised eyebrow. Myka swallowed the bit of roll she had in her mouth and took a drink of the juice that was in front of her, “I’ve been watching you.”

[katy]

Her eyebrows were still raised as she stared at the girl. Katy knew her, everyone in Hogwarts knew her. Myka was a Ravenclaw just a year older than her but had a reputation of not being quite friendly. In fact, almost everyone was afraid of her, and knew about her liking girls. Katy never talked to her or even felt somewhat scared of her. It wasn’t like Myka was going to hex her or even bully her. So why would she feel afraid of someone she barely even knew? When Myka spoke about watching her, Katy’s breath got caught in her throat. What in the name of Merlin would Myka want to be watching her for? Maybe she knew. Looking down at her plate she began to pick apart a roll that had been laying there untouched by any human hands. Maybe if she kept quiet enjoy she could become invisible and then Myka would leave. It was worth a shot. Closing her eyes shut tight, Katy imagined that all of what was happening was a dream. Myka wasn’t sitting next to her saying creepy things and that the school year hadn’t even started. A couple seconds later, Katy’s eyes opened to still see the older girl sitting next to her at the table. Sighing, Katy looked at Myka in the eye. “How you said that was kind of creepy and almost stalkerish,” Katy began tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear thoughts of wondering what she had done to make this older girl watch over her.

Katy grabbed an apple at the middle of the table and began to take a bite into it. She avoided any kind of eye contact from Myka but she had a strange feeling inside that this girl could look behind her mask. Her feet scrapped against the ground in a nervous habit. Katy couldn’t let Myka know she was making her feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t because she was gay or anything, but that she might know Katy was the same. Finally looking in the Ravenclaws direction Katy eyed the girl. She had never stopped to just look at Myka closely but rather just gave a quick glance and walked on. The first thing that caught Katy’s attention was the silver hoop earrings. She didn’t wear any kind of jewelry herself and wondered if the hoops were too heavy for her ears. Her hair was jet black with brown eyes that seemed so emotionless. Myka had the tough girl look and attitude, that complete opposite of her self. She was more of the girly girl next door look and attitude.

Bringing her legs over the bench, Katy stood up. Her body cracked silently from the strain of sitting down so long without moving around. “If you don’t mind, I should be getting back to the common room before curfew.” Katy nodded her head slowly, her blondish hair flying about. She was about half way down the hall when something stopped her.

[Myka Young R6]

Myka shrugged while finishing off the roll. Maybe the way she had said it was a bit weird, stalkerish even. But she didn’t mind. In a sense she had been stalking the girl, but not really. She didn’t have pictures of her or anything, but whenever they were in the same room together – Myka ended up watching her. The girl intrigued Myka, it wasn’t something she could completely control. Well, she could try to not be gay – but that didn’t always work as easily as most thought. She took another drink of the girl’s juice and then smirked again, “Eh, stalking people isn’t my forte. I would be found out before I even had the chance to get a decent picture. So, no worries, girly. Besides, you’re not my type.” Myka’s smirk slipped into a small amused grin, “I like my girls gay.”

She didn’t tag on that she thought that’s exactly what the girl was, because that might just scare her off. Not that it wasn’t like she wasn’t scaring her already. Myka looked around the table for anything else to eat, spotted a chicken leg and then grabbed it – and started to eat it as the girl looked at her. She smiled a raw smile and shook her head, making her earrings jingle. It was funny, she had been checked out lots of times. But never like this. This girl was probably so confused, Myka could see it all over her face. She took another bite of her chicken leg and silently watched as the girl stood to leave, stating she should go before curfew. Myka watched her walk past her, and as she finished the chicken leg and threw the bone on the nearest plate – she jumped off the table and rushed after her.

Grabbing the girl’s arm, Myka shook her head again; “Curfew’s not for another hour. Trust me, I know these rules. C’mon.” And she pulled her out of the Great Hall to the great double doors everyone entered. When they were greeted with a crisp breeze, Myka took a deep breath and closed her eyes – her hand still on the girl’s arm. She opened her eyes again and looked at the Hufflepuff who seemed quite frightened, maybe even annoyed. Myka smirked and sat down on the stone steps – pulling the girl down beside her. After a moment’s silence, Myka looked at the girl directly and tilted her head, “You’re interesting. Kind of like a peacock in a chicken coop. Why are you here?”

[katy]

Katy’s soft blue eyes that were calm were now glaring at this girl. Why could Myka make her feel so annoyed and angered at the same time? She quite a patient kind of girl who could tolerate most things, but Myka seemed to know how to say the exact words to push her buttons. “That’s most defiantly true; I’m no where near your type. So why don’t you go bug some other girl?” Katy asked resting her hands on her hips watching as Myka took a chicken leg from near by and began to eat. Her mind wondered back to what the girl said about liking girls who were gay. If she liked those types of girls then did Myka think that Katy was gay as well or was she trying to her gay? The confusion was quite clear by the expression on her face. Katy was confused and wasn’t afraid to show it, but maybe showing it to this girl was the wrong idea. As she was about to leave, Myka grabbed her arm informing her that curfew wasn’t for another hour. With a defeated sigh, Katy let the girl lead her out of the Great Hal and out into the night.

Myka was still holding onto her arm as the two stepped out onto the grass. It scrunched silently under her feet as a gentle breeze went by sending her hair in the direction of the wind. What did this older girl want with her? Why was Katy feeling somewhat frightened and intrigued all at the same time? Her arm was yet again tugged toward the stone steps as Myka sat down. Taking a deep breath of the night air, Katy closed her eyes as the cold stung her lungs. Did this new change of the weather mean that fall was soon coming in? Katy wasn’t exactly ready for any weather changed in her life. Opening her eyes she stared at Myka, her blue eyes twinkling with annoyance. “First off I don’t think peacocks would go along nicely with chickens. Then again, I never heard of any peacocks attacking people lately,” Katy began her mind working out what to say. She knew she was being just a bit dramatic at the moment, but she had all the right too. “Second off I’m here because you personally dragged me out here for obviously no apparent reason.”

Katy looked away and out into the night. The moon was already out and the crickets chirped loudly around them. Resting her elbows upon her knees, Katy sighed heavily once again. “What about me interest you so much so compare peacocks to chickens?”

[Myka Young R6]

Myka just smirked and shook her head as the girl talked about peacocks in chicken coop. She was certainly something else. Myka had let go off the girl’s arm by now, in order to run her fingers through her black hair. Her eyes looked up into the sky. This was why she had pulled the girl outside. Of course, the sky in the Great Hall was the exact same as the night sky – but it was different to actually be outside. It felt like you were apart of the Earth. Myka closed her eyes again, and then opened them again when the girl stated that she dragged her out there for no reason at all. Myka shook her head, making her earrings jingle again, “No. See, I pulled you out here because it’s beautiful out and I didn’t want to enjoy it alone.” She sent her a soft smile and then turned her attention back to the sky. Myka was having fun, even though she knew she was making the Hufflepuff uncomfortable. It wasn’t something that really bothered Myka, she made a lot of girls uncomfortable unless they were like her – and liked her. Not many did, not at Hogwarts anyway.

The girl asked her another question and Myka looked at her with her right eyebrow raised. “What doesn’t? You’re interesting. Simple as that. The way you talk to people and then act when you think no one is watching. Or,” Myka smirked and tucked some of her black hair behind an ear and then looked at the ground, “the way you wear your hair on different days.” She realized, as she said it, that it sounded stalkerish. But she couldn’t help it, she realized little things like that. In fact, she had realized lots of little things about anyone she hung out with at all or just saw on a daily basis. Myka shrugged, “That wasn’t a come on, so don’t worry. I’m just weird like that. I notice things. I can tell you a lot of things about different people in different houses.” Some reason, Myka felt the need to backtrack on what she said – so the girl wouldn’t feel too uncomfortable. Maybe it was because Myka knew what it was like to be confused – even if the girl didn’t know that Myka had been in the same place she was now, Myka didn’t want to scare her.

“I guess, you want an exact answer.” Myka looked down and chuckled lightly. “I can’t give you one. I don’t know why. My eyes always just stop on you. I think it’s because I’ve been watching you for awhile. I’ve just become so accustomed to seeing you and watching you respond to certain things. I don’t even know your name, so I can’t tell you much about who you are as a person. But I can tell you things about your behaviour to other people. Like, when boys flirt with you – you brush them off or try to flirt back and fail. You’re either really insecure about the way you look and act in front of them, or you really don’t like them. Either way, that’s not normal – and abnormal things like that catch my eye.” Myka shrugged again.

[katy]

Katy pulled down her uniform skirt as the wind began to blow in a different direction toward her face. She avoided looking at the older Ravenclaw at any cost. It wasn’t that Myka was frightening her in any way, it was just that Katy got a feeling that this girl knew something about her that most people couldn’t see yet. Her friends hadn’t exactly noticed about her sexuality yet because she still went on dates with boys, but it wasn’t as exciting as dates normally should be. Closing her eyes while taking in a deep breath of the crisp to calm herself, her hand began to pull at the end of shirt sleeve. It was just another odd habit of Katy’s that couldn’t be controlled. Katy instantly opened her eyes to stare back at Myka as she said about enjoying a beautiful night alone. Smiling softly, she looked up into the sky as well. She hadn’t been able to just sit down at night and watch the night sky lately. Normally over the summer, Katy would lay curled up in a ball on a canopy and just stare out the window. There was something about how the stars could make you forget everything and only concentrate on the brightness of each one.

Her eyes closed once again as Myka began to explain why she intrigued her so. A small smile crept on her face at the older girls words. She had never heard anybody say anything to her like that. Most girls if they heard this would be a bit crept out, but actually Katy was taking it quite nicely. Nothing about what Myka said seemed to scare her, not the least bit. Wait did that mean she enjoyed getting such compliments from girls like that? Girls were allowed to think that they were cute but never like each other for more than friends. Taking another deep breath, Katy grinned while looking back at Myka. “No one has ever said anything like that to me….ever. Well my dad has, but that because he has to say that his daughter is pretty because it’s probably in the father guide to raising teenagers handbooks,” Katy began laughing softly at the idea of dads using a handbook to raising teenagers. Maybe dad’s stashed away the books someplace that not even the best investigator could find. “The weird thing is that what you said didn’t creep me out the least bit it actually….” She said stopped herself while looking back forward. “Never mind. Scratch that.”

Her worst fear had finally come to her when Myka explained about the way Katy brushed off boys who tried to flirt with her. Yes it was abnormal but none of them interested her. Standing up from the stone steps, Katy took a couple steps away from Myka. Her arms wrapped around over each other to block the wind. “Is it that noticeable?” Katy asked quietly turning her head back around to look at Myka.

[Myka Young R6]

Myka raised an eyebrow at her and then shook her head, "Don't make too much out of it. Like I said, it wasn't a come on. Remember, I like my girls gay." Myka ran her fingers through her hair again and turned her gaze from the girl to the sky. She ignored the scratch that remark. If the girl wanted to tell her, she would tell her. But Myka had a feeling she knew what was going to be said. There was silence for a moment, and when there was movement to her right, Myka looked over to see Katy standing up and crossing her arms to the cold wind. She asked if it was that noticable and Myka shook her head, her earrings doing that jingling thing again. "Nah. Not in the least bit." She trailed off a bit and then smirked at her, "To others. But to me, it sent off red alarms and sirens and that whole wazoola." Myka stood up as well and leaned against the wall that was used as a hand rail.

"It's only noticable to people who watch you," She tugged on her loop earring and then hopped on top of the wall, looking at the girl directly in the eye, "Most people don't pay any attention. Most people don't care enough. They're so superficial. They're too worried about whatever anyone else cares about them. I don't. I can't. It would hurt too much if I did, you know? I know they talk about me, someone would have to be deaf not to hear some of the names people call me. But I don't let it get to me. They're ignorant. There isn't much we can do about it." Myka's face remained emotionless and she shrugged again, something she seemed to do a lot lately. "But, I don't know anything if you don't want me to."

[katy]

Katy smiled calmly as she looked at Myka ignoring the few pieces lose strand hair that had just blown in her face. “I know that was only just a come on, but my puny romantic brain takes things like that seriously,” Katy said while looking away. There was silence between them, but at least a thousand thoughts were rushing into her head all at once. Katy’s main concern and thought before she even continued the conversation with Myka was that the older girl knew about her secret. Now the other main thought was whether or not to tell her about her sexuality or not. If Myka had already known about Katy being gay, that she would of already asked. Maybe she was trying to trick her into spilling the beans. It would be nice to share something with someone who was exactly like her. Maybe Myka could even help her cope with this because it was hard enough knowing but no one else knew.

Taking a deep breath Katy turned back around. Her arms were still folded over each other from the wind, but she didn’t care about how cold it was outside. Attempting to say something, her jaw dropped opened but then closed. This was going to be harder than she thought. Taking another deep breath Katy tucked a piece of blond hair behind her ear. “I’m gay…” she said so quickly that she began to question if she had ever said it. Bringing her hands up to her forehead Katy started to pace around in circles. “If you already knew this about me then why didn’t you just say so? Was it better just to have me blurt it out now?” Katy said angrily stopping her pacing while taking a seat back down on the stone steps. “I don’t want people know this about me because all my life I’ve been known as the sweet, innocent girl who had many boyfriends, but that’s not who I was. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be that, but it’s just this fake lie.”

Katy took another deep breath while resting the side of her head against the wall. Her check stung from the coolness of the wall. “How did you find out?” she asked quietly not really wanting to lift her head back up to look at Myka.

[Myka Young R6]

Myka really hadn't been paying attention to anything the girl said until she actually admitted being homosexual. Her gaze snapped to the girl and she raised an eyebrow at her. Myka hadn't been aiming to get anything out of her, she was just having a conversation. It wasn't like she wanted to actually hear something that the person would have rather kept to themselves. She figured that was rather... um, pushy. She sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair as the girl started to rant at her about not saying something and having her just blurt it out and how she was known as the sweet and innocent girl. Myka smirked, "Hon, if you have had many boyfriends - I bet you're far from innocent. Besides, what about being attracted to girls isn't innocent? It's not like it's wrong or anything." She looked away, her glare piercing the ground instead of the girl. Myka wasn't mad at her, but at the world itself with it's pigheaded point of views. She looked up again when the girl asked how she found out.

Myka laughed and hopped off the wall, "You've got a lot to learn, girly. People don't just find out things like this. I mean, for me, I subtly realized it. With the help of a friend. And once you admit it about yourself, you can pick up on the way other people feel as well. You might have heard of it. Some people call it 'gay-dar.' I, personally, hate that word and think it should die a slow and painful death. But it does seem to fit, doesn't it?" Myka smiled slightly and ran her fingers through her hair again. It was something she always did when she was in her uniform, because normally she would be fiddling with her clothes. But it just looked odd when someone fiddled with their uniform, like it was itching them or something. And a lot of the time, it did itch. She turned her thoughts back to the girl and her question, "I just watched you. If people took time out from their busy day, they would see it too. But, that's fortunate for you, I guess."

[katy]

It took a while for Katy's mind to process what had just happened. Her check was still pressed against the side of the wall as half of her mind listened to what the older girl had to say. Katy did this a lot, especially during class. She would just all of a sudden stare off into space, half of her mind on what the professor was saying, but the other side day dreaming. Closing her eyes as there was silence between them, Katy thought of what to say. Part of her felt relieved and happy that someone knew the real her, but the other side was still confused. Sighing Katy lifted her head off from the wall to look back at Myka. "I'm sorry about my outburst...that isn't very much like me to do that," Katy said a sincere smile curling on her lips. "There’s nothing wrong liking girls, its just that it’s a shock that’s all. All your life you think you are this one person, than it suddenly hits you that wasn't who you are," she continued looking back up at the stars. "I must sound like some love sick, confused girl."

A small laugh escaped from her throat as she let her legs stretch out in front of her. The word 'gay-day' pierced her mind. That was what most people thought of themselves when they could detect gay people. "It does suit just a bit, but I agree with the word dying a slow painful death. Not everyone can read people so fast." Katy tucked a couple strands of lose hair behind her ear. She wasn't exactly ready to tell anybody else about her secret. People were going to find out and rumors would be spread, but Myka didn't seem like that kind of a girl. Slowly standing up from her spot on the steps Katy did a small dance twirl until she was facing in front of Myka. "I'm Katy."