Will I Ever Have That? ((Aurora))

[Maryn Livley]

Maryn stood by her window sill in her dorm. Rain poured down and Maryn just smiled. She loved rain. She loved how it sounded and the feeling of it on her skin, but she wouldn’t leave the castle. She couldn’t bring herself to go dancing in the rain. Usually, Maryn would jump at the chance to go and be free in the rain, but now she just couldn’t do it. Maryn just stood there like a bumbling idiot staring at the rain pouring before her. She was glad none of her dorm mates were about. Actually, a few of them wouldn’t be returning to Hogwarts, Maryn already knew this. She would miss them, but maybe the year would be better with fewer room mates. Maybe Maryn would have an easier stay this year if they were gone. After all, none of them would really understand everything Maryn had been through over the past few months. Maybe Maryn really did need fewer friends this year. That sounded horrible, but Maryn was just thinking it. She wasn’t saying it out loud. Maryn kept looking at the rain. She wanted to go out in it, but she didn’t. After a while of staring, Maryn gave up the go or don’t go battle in her mind and she just turned from the window. It was about five in the evening, just an hour or so before dinner, so she had plenty of time. Maryn wouldn’t go in the rain, she would just walk about the castle. Maryn put her Gryffindor robes over her clothes and stuffed her wand in her pocket. She turned and left her dorm. Maryn didn’t know where she was going, but she was going somewhere.

Maryn stumbled neared the Fat Lady Portrait to leave. She left the common room and then looked back at the lady. “Maryn, dear girl. Are you ill?” She asked in a comical yet rude manner. “No, dear lady.” Maryn said calmly as she turned to leave. “Well, well dear you look ill. You should go freshen up a bit before you enter the world of cute boys in the castle.” The lady said sternly. Maryn looked back at her. “I’d rather not.” She said leaving the corridor. Maryn looked didn’t look back at the lady. However, the fat lady yelled a few things back to Maryn, but Maryn didn’t listen. She had no intention of flirting with any boys right now or anytime soon. Lately, the image of Leon had left Maryn’s brain, but it was back now. Maryn put the hood of her Gryffindor robes over her head as to not be seen. Plus, she was rather cold in the castle anyways. Maryn walked through the seventh floor until she reached the changing staircases. She stepped onto one and held tightly on to the banister as the staircase changed. Maryn yawned slightly as she enjoyed the ride for the moment.

Maryn finally reached her destination. Well, it wasn’t really a destination since she just randomly went there, but whatever. Maryn was about at the third floor. She rarely went there except for a few classes, but Maryn did know her way around. Maryn stepped past a few first years giggling about the thought of being in an environment full of boys. Maryn gave them a small smile. Was she like that back in first year? Maryn didn’t have many friends back then, she knew that, but was she like that. Maryn couldn’t remember back that far, but it didn’t really matter, did it? Maryn walked further down the corridor. She came upon a window and Maryn smiled looking out that. She saw a boy and a girl kissing in the rain. Maryn couldn’t make out who they were, but they couldn’t be younger than sixth years. Maryn smiled. Would she ever have that? She had wondered that lately. Would Maryn ever feel like that? Maryn thought once that maybe Leon would be that boy to make her feel like that, but that was gone. Maryn didn’t know if she would ever have that now. She stared at the couple out the window. A few tears were now in her eyes as she thought about a future she might not have. Maryn heard footsteps, but she didn’t move. She just stood looking sadly at the couple.

[natxthexrat]

Aurora sat in the Slytherin common room staring at the fire. She had nothing to do and nowhere to go. She also had no friends to talk with and no boys to stare at. Wow, is my life pathetic. She thought to herself for a moment. She couldn't stand the thought of being a lonely third year Slytherin with no friends but herself, and yet she refused to make friends with anyone who was nice enough to care. Typical. She thought.

Unable to let her mind wander any longer, Aurora left the common room and decided to take a walk around the castle for a while. Maybe she would say hello to her owl, Midnight on her way to the Great Hall for a bit of dinner.

On her way to the owlery, she noticed Peeves creating his usual mayhem and decided to take a different route to the owlery. Best not to get involved. She thought she remembered a passagway leading to the owlery near a corridor on the third floor. As she was walking down the corridor, she noticed a girl staring out of a window with tears welling in her eyes. She noticed she was a Gryffindor and most Slytherins prefered not to mix with them, but what did it matter? It wasn't like they were going to go out of thier way to notice her, even if she was with a Gryffindor.

"Are you alright?" She asked. After seeing Aurora's robes, the girl gave her a look, as if wondering why Aurora would even take a moment to care about her problems. Finally, the girl answered.

[Maryn Livley]

Maryn's eyes were fixed at the couple for a few moment. Suddenly, she turned hearing someone's voice. Maryn whipped the few tears form her eyes. Get a grip Maryn. She thought to herself. What did Maryn have to be so freaking sensitive? Well, one of her best friends did just die, but Maryn felt as if she was being weird. She couldn't even guess her actions lately. Lately, Maryn didn't know what to think or do. She had changed so much and Maryn was having a hard time remembering how to be herself. She looked at the girl before her. Slytherin? Maryn could tell by her robes she was one. Maryn had never been fond of Slytherins. Probably just because she was a muggle born and Maryn couldn't stand to be near them taunting her, but this was was concerned? Maryn gave her a quizzical look. Several people had been concerned for Maryn lately, but none of them were in Slytherin. She sighed. Maryn didn't really have a clue what to say. She wasn't all right, that was apparent, but did she really want to say something she would have to back up. Oh, well. Maryn took a few steps away from the window.

Maryn examined the girl. She couldn't be older than a third year. Maryn sighed pushing aside her remaining tears. "I've been better." Maryn said truthfully. Well, it was the safest option she could see for there moment. Maryn took a couple of glanced back to the window before eying the girl once again. Well, there wasn't much more to say was there? Maryn's safest options would be to just leave, but she couldn't just do that. Maryn just looked at the girl calmly for a moment. "I'm just a bit tired I guess." Maryn added that lie. Well, she was tired, but that wasn't what was wrong with her. Maryn eyed the girl calmly. "I'm Maryn by the way." She said calmly. Maryn took a few backward glances to the window and then back at the girl. She really wished she could be alone to cry and be sad for the moment, but Maryn just had to suck it it. She sighed calmly waiting for the younger girl's response.

[natxthexrat]

Aurora awaited the piercing stare and rude remarks that was to come from the girl, but was surprised when she answered very politely. Although, as the Maryn spoke, Aurora could tell that she wasn't telling her the whole truth.

"Aurora Augustine, pleased to meet you." She said politely, noticing the apparent confusion on Maryn's face. "You know, you don't have to talk to me if you don't think you can trust a Slytherin, It's a common reaction when I try to be nice to others." Aurora was becoming a bit disappointed that the girl was treating her just as the others have, however she was not surprised; as she said before, it was a common reaction. Aurora figured she'd add one more thing before she let the girl be. " You know, in a house with no allies, it's sort of hard to make friends." Seeing Maryn's shocked reaction, she decided she'd go so the girl could be free of Aurora. "Well, bye then." Aurora started to walk off, but was stopped by Maryn who's shocked face faded into kindness.

[Maryn Livley]

"You too." Maryn offered kindly as the girl introduced herself as Aurora. Maryn wasn't exactly used to Slytherins being no nice. No, she wasn't used to that at all. Actually, Aurora was nicer than a Ravenclaw Maryn had met once. Maryn looked at Aurora was a puzzled expression on her face as Aurora spoke. Wait, how could this girl be this nice? Maryn really didn't get it. Maryn sighed still giving off the same expression. Maryn didn't have time to speak because Aurora soon said she was leaving. Maryn wasn't thinking about this kissing couple anymore. No, not at all. "Wait!" Maryn called to the girl. She took a few steps forward. Maryn took a deep breath. "It isn't that I can't trust you." She started. "It's that well Slytherins have disappointed me in the past if you understand what I'm saying." Maryn said calmly. Maryn wondered how far the girl would go before she ran away rudely. Maryn did have an idea to see if she would or not. "Me being a muggle born and all, I have never had a very good experience with Slytherins especially one in particular." Maryn started. "Um, a girl named Monica was chasing my friend Rosaliz and I got kind of angry. Actually, I chased her down." Maryn giggled a bit remembering that day. "I guess that I sort of one of the things I have against Slytherins plus I can't help it as a muggle born and most don't understand that. Do you?" Maryn was about to determine if she could trust this girl or not. She sighed calmly.

Maryn mind lingered on some of Aurora's words. True, Slytherins didn't real make allies. Well, they did but that was for relationships or maybe family status. Nope, usually all Slytherins wanted one thing, power. Maryn let a odd look fall off her lips. "Making friends isn't everything." She said calmly even though it sounded really horrible. "Sometimes, them being there can make things worse." Maryn knew what she would say next, but she really didn't want to say it. "Sometimes you get so close to your friends and that person is the only one you can trust and then they die. Then you have no one." Maryn set letting one tear fall and nothing more. Leon was in her mind now and Maryn couldn't get him out. She looked at Aurora for a brief moment and then her gaze traced out the window. "But, I don't know if you have ever experience that and most people never will. But I have." Maryn said to Aurora, but she didn't look at her. No, she just stared out the window waiting for Aurora to say something.

[natxthexrat]

Aurora sighed for a moment, And pondered Maryn's words. Obviously, she had lost a very close friend and couldn't really understand the true value of friendship at this moment, but Aurora could. Maryn didn't know what it was like to be known as the bad girl, the outcast, the girl nobody wanted to be seen with. Before Hogwarts, that was who she was. Then, when she arrived two years ago, all the Slytherins kept to their close group of friends, or just stuck to themselves. Foolish Aurora didn't know what the Slytherins would say if they caught her with someone from another house, especially someone like Maryn, but now that Aurora knew her true roots, she knew better. She wouldn't let a person's origin stop her from making friends with them. Aurora was tired of being a loner, so she figured she'd keep a friendly conversation with Maryn.

"I see what you mean, Maryn." Aurora told her with an understanding expression. "But you don't know what it's like to be me, to have people look at you with piercing stares as they passed you by, laughing at you with their other friends. It's the worst feeling in the world." She added. Maryn started to argue her point, but Aurora continued her speech. "Up until now, I figured one day, maybe a pure blood Slytherin my age would just waltz right on up to me and say hi, but after I realized that I wasn't really a pureblood, I reconsidered my thoughts." Maren was finally taking in what Aurora had to say. "I thought to myself, why not be nice to someone for a change? Who cares what the others will say?" Aurora noticed a tear. Maryn didn't know how much Aurora wanted to get these thoughts off her mind and into words. "Well now that I've told you my whole life story, I think I'm going to shut up now to save myself any further embarrasment." Maryn smiled and spoke in a very kind tone of voice. This was a big change for someone who was just crying while staring out of a window.

[Maryn Livley]

Maryn shook her head slightly. She didn't know what that felt like. Maryn hadn't really began making friends until the beginning for third year, but after that she had plenty. Maryn loved all her friends dearly, but she sort of wanted some Independence from them. That was just what Maryn needed for the time being. "No, I don't know what that's like, but the whole people gossiping about you." She paused. "That I've felt before." Maryn stated. She hated gossip. It was just so meaningless and stupid. After Nathan became sick, Maryn knew just what it felt like to have people talk about you none stop. Then there had been rumors about Maryn and Leon and then more rumors about Mary and Stryder. Why did people have to talk so much? Maryn would never understand why they just couldn't stick to their own problems. Maryn looked at Aurora. "People can be cruel." Maryn said calmly. Mayrn knew they could, but she really had never felt anything but kindness except from Monica. Besides, her and a few other Slytherins, Maryn felt like people were nice to her. She sighed. "Yea, sometimes people just need to step out of their comfort zones. Maybe you don't really belong in that world of Slytherins. Maybe there is a bigger plan for you that none of them will ever know sticking to their roots." Maryn smiled a bit. She had no clue where that statement had just come from, but she liked it.

"Yea, why not be nice to people?" Maryn said out loud. "The people that laugh at you are just insecure." Maryn said softly. "They can't be as strong as you and that makes them jealous." Maryn thought for a moment and then looked at Aurora. She laughed a tad. "You didn't embarrass yourself. I'm the queen of embarrassment so you can't say anything embarrassing around me." Maryn said smiling in a joking way. "Your life story? That was your whole life?" She asked. Maryn was beginning to feel like herself again. She was quirky and not understood, but she liked it that way. "Well,I was pretty friendless myself until third year, but I got over that and got many friends." She paused. "I love them all, but I don't know now I feel like I need a break. Does that make any sense at all?" Maryn asked. She couldn't believe she was having a decent conversation with a Slytherin. But, this wasn't just a Slytherin. This was Aurora and she seemed better than any Slytherin Maryn had ever met.

[natxthexrat]

Aurora leaned against the wall and pondered for a moment. She understood what Maryn was saying, but she didn't want to understand it. Maryn had all Aurora had ever wanted. A great house, nice parents, good looks, but one thing she had that Aurora was especially jealous about was her popularity. Maryn had so many friends, that she was sick of them! Although, Aurora could tell that Maryn's life was far from perfect. Aurora was awakened from her thoughts when she heard Maryn asking her if she had really just told her a life story in just a couple of sentences.

"Well, that and me being the most horrible little girl in the world to my parents." Seeing the look on Maryn's face she stopped to explain. "That was when my head was filled with dung." Aurora said. "Ever since I found out that my real father is a muggle who left my mom after her high school prom, I've changed for the better." Aurora realized what she had just said and started to leave. She had obviously said too much. You are so stupid! How could you do this to yourself Aurora? Aurora decided she'd make a run for it while she still had at least an ounce of her dignity. It was no use, Maryn stopped her.

((If you want to know more about Aurora's situation with her father, click the link below and read Aurora's post hogwarts4houses.proboards26.com/index.cgi?board=Grounds&action=display&thread=1158111458 ))

[Maryn Livley]

Maryn shook her head. "If that is how your parents feel about you, then they're are wrong." Maryn said breaking the silence. Aurora then said something that seemed completely personal to her. She turned to walk away, but Maryn just shook her head and took a few steps forward. "Aurora!" She called. "Look, it's okay. Both my parents are muggles. It's hard to feel like your fit in at Hogwarts because people make fun of you because of your parents, but you just can't let them do it." Maryn sighed. "Look, when I think of Slytherins, they are rude and they think I'm a horrible person just because my parents are muggles. But, I know there wrong." She stopped for a moment. "Everyone has a life story. Some are worse than others, but the stories are not what really matter." She shook her head slightly. "What matters is how you take that story and apply it to your own life." Maryn said taking a step back at her own words. She shook her head slightly had herself. Why had she been so stupid? Maryn hadn't even been able to do that sense Nate because sick and Leon died. Actually, she had done a terrible job of apply her story to a better life. Maryn was telling someone to do something she couldn't even bare to do herself. Maryn just gave up for a moment. She just took a seat on the cold castle floor and put her hands on top of her eyes. She stared at them for a moment and then dropped them. Maryn looked up to Aurora.

"I've done such a bad job of that lately. I mean look at me.." Maryn paused. "Leon wouldn't want to see me soo sad that I don't even want to talk to my friends, Leon's old friends." She said thinking of Leon. "And Nathan, he just wants me to have fun and be me. He would hate for me to be like this." Maryn said sighing. "See, you can't just depend on your story to define you. You are your own person Aurora." Maryn shook her head sighing as she stood up. "And right now I've decided to try and let go. It will be hard and it will hurt like crap, but I have to do it." Maryn said calmly. She looked out the window once more where the rain was still pounding. "So, the question is, are you going to let your story be who you are or are you going to make up your own?" Maryn didn't even know if it had made sense, but she had said it all the same. Maryn waited for Aurora to respond.