Me Out of Me ((Closed))

[Katya Love S5]

Katya breathed in. Katya breathed out. Katya raised the scissors to her head and she snipped off two inches of her hair. Another breath in and another breath out. Snip two. After about thirty minutes her hair looked rather good, brushing her shoulders and framing her face. Already it brought out the friendly side of her. Her blue eyes looked so much livelier with the hair framing her face instead of hiding her. She had decided that she needed a change. A change in her appearance and a change in her personality. She was cold, rude, and outcast. Katya was sick of being that girl. She was sick of being the girl no one understood. Her grandmother’s death made her realize this. With how cold hearted her father was being about the whole ‘unfortunate circumstance,’ Katya didn’t have room to get even more depressed. She had washed away her unhappiness in the rain, and in the rain and mud the unhappiness would stay. She would try to be more outgoing, she would try to smile more, tease more, but be less cruel and mighty. Her arrogance wasn’t something she had in fact tried to push onto other people, no, it had happened because of how closed off she had made herself. This was going to be the new Katya, the new and improved and social Katarina Anastasia Love. The daughter her father had wanted for years and had never received because of her depression. She would still miss her mother, but she wouldn’t dwell on it. She couldn’t dwell on it.

This was her. Me out of me, Katya thought as she set the scissors down and brushed her hair out. She looked at herself in the mirror and shook her head. She looked so different. Next step. Make up. Katya didn’t wear make up. She hadn’t since her ‘modeling years,’ but now this was a new Katya. The new Katya wore make up. Maybe just a little of it, but enough for the new Katya to be noticed. She picked up the light brown eye liner and took a step toward the full length mirror. Twisting the pencil, Katya applied it to her lower lids. She then dabbed cream eye shadow on her top and bottom lids. Lip gloss. Mascara. Done. Katya took a step back, tucked her hair behind her ear, and surveyed herself in the mirror. She wore her uniform, nothing different about that, except perhaps the chuck taylor’s. She wore those with it instead of her usual dress shoes. She pulled at the plaid skirt and tilted her head to the side. “Little school girl Katya, all shiny and new,” she muttered before turning on her heel and grabbing her book bag. She slung it over her shoulder and hurried out of the dormitory, through the common room, and out into the corridor. Everywhere around her there were students talking and laughing. None seemed to pay attention to Katya, and she felt kind of relieved. This was a stupid idea anyway. She couldn’t change who she was. Could she?

Yes, she could. She had. This was this and this was done. Katya breathed in and was about to turn the corner toward the Great Hall when she slammed into someone. She fell back, hitting her lower back on the floor. There was laughter and Katya sighed as she groaned. She didn’t get up, instead she just lay back on the floor and covered her face. She felt hands try to help her up, but she pushed them away. “No, don’t touch me.” She said softly. That’s not what the new Katya would say, she thought to herself, but she couldn’t help. The idea of human contact made her squeamish.

“You’re just going to lay there?” A voice asked. Katya groaned and had to resist from saying something too Slytherin for her liking. Instead she opened her eyes and looked up at who she had collided with.

“I don’t see how my day could get any worse,” she replied with a shrug. The boy laughed and took a seat beside her without her asking him to. She smiled softly, the new approachable Katya was someone who didn’t scare people away. “The day’s only started and I’ve already succeeded in falling to the ground, I think I should get a medal.” Katya shoved her hair out of her eyes as she pushed herself onto her elbows for support.

“From my experience, days get better. Especially if it’s as sunny as it is today.” As he said this, the boy motioned to a near by window and Katya looked in the direction. She tilted her head at the sun shining through the window and the birds flying past. It had been so dismal the night before. She smiled before looking back at the boy. “However, sunny days like these can be quashed by Snape and double potions, which is where I’m heading. So,” he stood and offered his hand for her to take. Slowly, she did and pulled herself up, “it was nice to run into you. Hopefully your day will get better.” And before she could even ask him his name or anything of the sort he was hurrying to catch up with his friends. Katya looked after him and sighed with a shake of her head. She didn’t know which she preferred more; being alone, or being social and meeting some guy that vanished before she could ask for a name.