Post by Myka Young R6 on Feb 16, 2007 18:19:31 GMT
Katy was gone. Dead. If she had just left, Myka would have been able to deal, but Katy was dead. She wasn't coming back. Tears had poured from Myka's eyes for days after the death. After finding out that her mother had killed the only person she had ever loved. It was as if Myka's life was cursed, she couldn't ever be happy. If it wasn't because of her mother, it was because she could never find love or happiness with another person. She had, but now that person was gone. Dead. Myka hadn't seen it coming. If someone had told her Katy wouldn't be there when she went to class each day, when she went to bed each night, Myka would have laughed in the person's face and call them insane. Katy would have always been there. But now she wasn't. She wasn't. It was all too much pain for Myka to bear, all too much emotion that she had never felt before. She was numb all over. Nothing hurt her anymore except for the memory of that night and all the memories she had of Katy. She tried to block the memories out, but they kept coming and they kept playing over and over like it was on repeat. As Myka lay in bed, her eyes open with tears in them and staring up at the ceiling, she thought of how she was going to go on. She knew Katy would want her to go on, but she didn't think she could. And each and every night, Myka would think of a way to go on, to live without Katy Hudson in her life and each and every night she came up with the same solution. She couldn't. With Katy, Myka had no life. Katy had been Myka's life.
Today was Valentine's Day. It was possibly the worst day to be without a loved on. Especially if that loved one was just recently murdered. Myka had gone through the day at school distraught and disconnected from everyone. All the couples made her want to throw up, especially with the gooey love stuff that was going on. There was a ball that she wouldn't be attending and she hadn't planned on it. She had other plans for the night. After classes, Myka had locked herself in the dorm and closed the curtains of her four poster. She sat on her bed with her pictures and all the memorabila from Katy. All the Revolutionary Girl Utena merchandise, the cottage catalogue. Everything. She pushed the photos into the box in front of her with a rose seal on it, and then shut the lid. Staring at the box only brought more tears to her eyes and she quickly covered it with the parchment in her hands. She took out the magic quill and set it on the parchment so it was poised to write. Her whispered words were scratched onto the parchment as she pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She finished the letter just as the other girls in her year poured into get ready for the ball. Myka waited as they chattered about their dates and their dresses. If only she could be among them. Myka sat silently, waiting for them to leave and what seemed like an eternity later... they did.
Myka peeled away her curtains and peered out before grabbing the box and the letter and climbing out of her bed. She wore the same outfit she had worn the night Katy had died, and it was clean because her father had cleaned her of all the blood. Now she wished he hadn't. Quietly, Myka slipped out of the dormitory and down to the common room where couples were gathering and complimenting each other. Without a word to anyone, Myka passed by and exited the common room. Her destination was the Astronomy Tower. Her feet carried her there swiftly and before she knew it, she was at the door that led to the observatory. Taking a deep breath, Myka pushed open the door... knowing that Professor Miller was chaperoning the ball. The whole tower was hers to take use of. She didn't need to think about what she was going to do, she already had it outlined in her mind. If anyone came to talk her out of it, Myka wouldn't listen. She was set in doing this. She was set in being with Katy again and this was the only way she knew how. She shoved open the window that was infront of the lines of desks in the classroom and took a deep breath of the cold February air that entered the room. Her eyes closed as she listened and she thought she heard Katy's voice. "I'm coming, Himemiya."
Making sure the letter was perfect, Myka used a spell to tack it onto the windowpane by the window she was standing beside. Then, she took the box and placed it underneath the letter. One more look at the box and she climbed onto the sill. Luckily the window was tall enough to fit her and let her be able to stand without hunching over. She held onto the sides of the window with her hands, which were turning white from the grip she had on them, and her eyes danced over the grounds below. Myka had purposely chosen the window that wouldn't send her in anyone's view. They would have to be near the Charms classroom in order to see her falling. She didn't want anyone trying to be the hero. Myka breathed in the cold air, and released her grip. She leaned forward, her eyes closed, and her stomach did flips as she fell. She fell and fell, but she welcomed the fall. She knew it would bring peace. Myka welcomed her death.
Dearest Himemiya,
You can't read this, and if you could I wouldn't have written it. Life isn't the same without you around. It's hard to get by in classes, in life in general, without you there to make me smile or laugh or even to squeeze my hand when we pass each other in the halls. It was the little things that made me happy and glad to live. Now that you're gone, my happiness has disappeared and I'm no longer looking forward to life. You might think I'm a coward for doing this, but it was the only way I could get out. It was the only way we could be together again. I have thought of every possibility of going on in life without you by my side, and none of them seem possible at all. Himemiya you were my one, my love, my life and now that you're gone I have nothing. No one. No love. No life. I'm just doing what will happen eventually. I can't stand to be in these halls without seeing you there. Without hearing you whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
So, this is my solution. I am happy with this solution. I will be happy again. But not in this life, not without you.
I shall make me a willow cabin at your gate and call upon my soul within the house; Write loyal cantons of contemned love and sing them loud even in the dead of night; Halloo your name to the reverberate hills and make the babbling gossip of the air cry out 'Himemiya!'
Mykaela Avery Young
Today was Valentine's Day. It was possibly the worst day to be without a loved on. Especially if that loved one was just recently murdered. Myka had gone through the day at school distraught and disconnected from everyone. All the couples made her want to throw up, especially with the gooey love stuff that was going on. There was a ball that she wouldn't be attending and she hadn't planned on it. She had other plans for the night. After classes, Myka had locked herself in the dorm and closed the curtains of her four poster. She sat on her bed with her pictures and all the memorabila from Katy. All the Revolutionary Girl Utena merchandise, the cottage catalogue. Everything. She pushed the photos into the box in front of her with a rose seal on it, and then shut the lid. Staring at the box only brought more tears to her eyes and she quickly covered it with the parchment in her hands. She took out the magic quill and set it on the parchment so it was poised to write. Her whispered words were scratched onto the parchment as she pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She finished the letter just as the other girls in her year poured into get ready for the ball. Myka waited as they chattered about their dates and their dresses. If only she could be among them. Myka sat silently, waiting for them to leave and what seemed like an eternity later... they did.
Myka peeled away her curtains and peered out before grabbing the box and the letter and climbing out of her bed. She wore the same outfit she had worn the night Katy had died, and it was clean because her father had cleaned her of all the blood. Now she wished he hadn't. Quietly, Myka slipped out of the dormitory and down to the common room where couples were gathering and complimenting each other. Without a word to anyone, Myka passed by and exited the common room. Her destination was the Astronomy Tower. Her feet carried her there swiftly and before she knew it, she was at the door that led to the observatory. Taking a deep breath, Myka pushed open the door... knowing that Professor Miller was chaperoning the ball. The whole tower was hers to take use of. She didn't need to think about what she was going to do, she already had it outlined in her mind. If anyone came to talk her out of it, Myka wouldn't listen. She was set in doing this. She was set in being with Katy again and this was the only way she knew how. She shoved open the window that was infront of the lines of desks in the classroom and took a deep breath of the cold February air that entered the room. Her eyes closed as she listened and she thought she heard Katy's voice. "I'm coming, Himemiya."
Making sure the letter was perfect, Myka used a spell to tack it onto the windowpane by the window she was standing beside. Then, she took the box and placed it underneath the letter. One more look at the box and she climbed onto the sill. Luckily the window was tall enough to fit her and let her be able to stand without hunching over. She held onto the sides of the window with her hands, which were turning white from the grip she had on them, and her eyes danced over the grounds below. Myka had purposely chosen the window that wouldn't send her in anyone's view. They would have to be near the Charms classroom in order to see her falling. She didn't want anyone trying to be the hero. Myka breathed in the cold air, and released her grip. She leaned forward, her eyes closed, and her stomach did flips as she fell. She fell and fell, but she welcomed the fall. She knew it would bring peace. Myka welcomed her death.
Dearest Himemiya,
You can't read this, and if you could I wouldn't have written it. Life isn't the same without you around. It's hard to get by in classes, in life in general, without you there to make me smile or laugh or even to squeeze my hand when we pass each other in the halls. It was the little things that made me happy and glad to live. Now that you're gone, my happiness has disappeared and I'm no longer looking forward to life. You might think I'm a coward for doing this, but it was the only way I could get out. It was the only way we could be together again. I have thought of every possibility of going on in life without you by my side, and none of them seem possible at all. Himemiya you were my one, my love, my life and now that you're gone I have nothing. No one. No love. No life. I'm just doing what will happen eventually. I can't stand to be in these halls without seeing you there. Without hearing you whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
So, this is my solution. I am happy with this solution. I will be happy again. But not in this life, not without you.
I shall make me a willow cabin at your gate and call upon my soul within the house; Write loyal cantons of contemned love and sing them loud even in the dead of night; Halloo your name to the reverberate hills and make the babbling gossip of the air cry out 'Himemiya!'
Mykaela Avery Young
