Rain That Tastes Like Wine ((Devon))

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

The rain pounded on the windows of the castle as Dixie padded her way lightly through the corridor, her wand outstretched in front of her with it's tip lit and guiding her way down the dark hall. She knew she shouldn't be doing this, but she needed to. The desire to get out of the castle was too strong to ignore and the storm that was raging outside just made the temptation stronger. She had been suffering from insomnia for the past couple of weeks, not wanting to sleep in case she missed something important. The action of sleeping, though, did lead to dreaming and Dixie often liked her dreams more than she did reality. More often now than ever before. She wouldn't get caught, she knew that, but even if she did her excuse would be her insanity and how the voices told her she was in danger. There were ups of being known as a schizophrenic, but there were more downs than there were ups. Everyone looked at her with digust and pity and Dixie couldn't really say anything about it because they would just nod and look at her with that same pitying look that everyone else had given her. Everyone else except Adam... he hadn't even thought of giving her the pity look or the number three with a smile. Not like everyone else had. Dixie sighed as she pushed the door open to reveal the tempest that was raging outside. Her eyes scanned the trees which had lost all their colour and were now bending and bowing to the winds wrath. The rain was so thick that it was hard to see through, but Dixie didn't care.

She let the arm that held her wand drop slowly to her side as she stepped out into the cold rain, her face lifted to the sky. She watched the raindrops soar down toward her and felt them splash on her skin. She should turn back. But she needed to do this. With that thought, Dixie extinguished her wand and pocketed it as she crossed the grassy but muddy lawn toward her destination. She felt the mud squish between her toes and she knew she should have worn shoes, but the desire to leave the castle was too great to think about anything but getting out of there and that included stopping for shoes and a jacket. Dixie knew she must have looked rather odd as she silently and quickly made her way across the grounds to the lake, especially in her plaid pajama pants and red tank top. What moron would go out in the middle of a storm in nothing but that? Dixie that was who. As she approached the lake, the tree loomed in the distance. The outline was all she could see through the heavy sheet of rain that was pouring around her, but she knew it was there. The images that had been haunting her day after day and night after night surfaced and formed as she drew nearer to the tree. There she was standing aganist the tree and there he was... Dixie reached out to touch him, but the moment she lifted her arm he faded away. She should have known better. Dixie leaned against the tree and covered her face with her hands as the tears began to pour from her eyes. The only difference between the rain and the tears was the temperature. The rain was icy cold and her tears were searing hot. She preferred the rain to the tears any day.

The rain cut through her as she slumped to the ground, not caring about the mud that was ruining her pajamas. She didn't care about anything anymore. Well, except for Adam. She had to care about him. He was the only thing she wanted to care about. It was hard, it was dreadfully hard. Even with how difficult it was to be there for him or to be happy or optimistic, she wasn't going to give up hope. He had already done that and Dixie didn't want to. Was her hope real, though? Was it really there or was she just pretending it was there because she wanted to be optimistic for him? If he was done with hoping, then she would be too, wouldn't she? It was logical, wasn't it? But Dixie couldn't bring herself to give up the hope that she had harbored for so long. Even mixed in with all the pain and hardship, Dixie was willing to do whatever it took to help Adam. As long as he wanted her there to help. She wouldn't push her way into Adam's life if he didn't want her there, that was something Dixie had promised herself the moment he had woken up. No matter how much she cared about him, if he wanted her gone from his life she would do it in a heartbeat. It would be hurtful and hard at first, but it would be worth it if it meant he would be happy. Dixie sighed and dropped her hands from her face as she crossed her arms and stared up at the sky.

It was all so complicated and Dixie hated it. She hated it all. She didn't know how strong she could be for how long. She didn't know how much more her heart could take. She didn't know anything and she hated that feeling. As the rain continued to pour over her, Dixie continued to stare at the grey sky with a numb feeling in her heart. Her body was numb from the rain which was cold, but she couldn't feel it because her mind and heart were numb from the pain and that numbness was stronger than the other.

[Devon Darcy Daniels]

Devon’s feet smacked against the muddied ground as she ran, her blonde hair sticking to her even though it was up in a pony tail. She had decided to take a late night run because she had a test to make up the next morning and wouldn’t be able to fit in her usual jog. Sometimes Devon liked running at night, anyway. Something about the setting sun or the just set sun that fueled her even more. Besides that, it was raining and Devon loved the rain despite what happened in her third year with the storm and Clay having to carry her home. The rain always seemed to calm her, it gave her a tempo to run to. Tonight’s tempo was very fast and it was almost wearing her out, almost but not quite. Devon breathed in, taking in some water as well as air, and continued to run to the tempo of the storm that was raging around her. She had been running for thirty minutes already, she had to go at least another twenty before she turned in for the night. Otherwise she wouldn’t feel right, as if she didn’t push herself to her full potential. Devon knew that it was quite possible that in twenty minutes she would convince herself to run for ten more. At least that way she could get in a full hour of running. Devon was OCD that way, or at least she referred to it as an OCD episode. She would never quit until she had pushed herself until she couldn’t push herself anymore. So perhaps it wasn’t an OCD episode thing, but whatever it was… it bothered Devon unless she did it. Maybe she was just a perfectionist, that would make sense. Focus, Dev, focus. 1,2,3,4, left, right, left, right. Breathe in, breathe out. Start again. It was a cycle, one that Devon had grown to love.

The rain was really falling down hard, but it didn’t faze Devon. It was just her and her running, the sound of her breathing and her counting. 1,2,3,4, left, right, left, right. Breathe in, breathe out. Start again. It was amazing to her, just to run without a destination, without any idea what would happen if she didn’t ever stop running. That was Devon’s goal, even in it’s impossibility. To run and run forever without stopping. She wouldn’t need anything but the ground beneath her. Or maybe that was more of a dream than a goal because of how impossible the goal would be. Either way, it was something Devon strived for and yearned for. And this was why she was okay without having friends or being close to her family. Well, except Clay… 1,2,3,4, left, right, left, right. Breathe in, breathe out. Start again. Devon closed her eyes to the wind and rain and then opened them again to see a lone figure by a tree that faced the lake. She stopped running, immediately feeling the burn in her legs because she had stopped, and covered her eyes to shield them from the pounding rain in order to get a better look. It was a girl, that was one thing Devon could make out. She wouldn’t be able to get any more detail unless she got closer. Well, whoever it was, they were going to get pneumonia for being out in the rain. Oh, like she was one to talk. Devon breathed in and started to jog over to the girl. The closer she got, the closer she could make out brown hair, and an age. When she was only a foot in front of the girl, Devon realized it was Dixie Holden. Dixie was pretty much notorious for her insanity and her status of being a Queen of Slytherin. Devon had fortunately steered away from the Queens throughout her Hogwarts years, especially because she was able to out run them any day.

“What are you doing out here?” Devon called over the howling wind and rain even though she was only a foot away from Dixie. “Dixie…” Finally, with a glare of annoyance, Devon took out her wand and cast a spell so there was a water proof and sound proof bubble around them. One more flick and a fire started in between the two girls, there, everything was fine now. Well… maybe not everything. Devon sat down on the ground beside Dixie and looked over at her. It normally wasn’t in Devon’s character to approach a girl she didn’t know, much less one with Dixie’s reputation, and then suddenly start a conversation. But Dixie didn’t seem to be completely there and Devon hated seeing people falling apart. She had gone through it before and she knew how that felt. She knew how horrible it could be to go through alone. Devon looked at the fire in front of her and watched it as she waited for Dixie to break the silence. Devon could sit in silence for hours and hours without worrying about saying a word, so it would be Dixie who broke the terrible silence that hung overhead. Especially since Devon didn’t want to feel like she was intruding on something that Dixie would rather be alone during.

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

Dixie didn't know how long she was on the ground letting the rain pour around her. She didn't care, either. She just wanted to get away from everything. Get away from all the bad that was engulfing her life... She also didn't know that someone was calling out to her and asking her what she was doing in the rain. Of course, she had heard it faintly but her mind was so tuned into her miseries that she hadn't even bothered to look up and see who it was. It wasn't until the rain seemed to miraculously stop that Dixie looked up. There was a bubble over her and a fire in front of her that was separating her from a girl in her year, Devon Daniels. Devon took a seat beside Dixie, but didn't say anything. For a moment Dixie just stared at her, wondering what in the world could have possessed this girl to do anything that was considered nice toward Dixie. They hadn't ever spoken before, simply because Devon was pretty much isolated and because Dixie didn't talk to anyone unless she trusted them or they were close to her. Which usually if she trusted you, you were close to her. There was a long silence and Dixie realized that Devon had no intention of initiating the conversation, so Dixie sighed and stretched out her legs. "I hate the rain." She especially hated the rain when it was reflecting her emotions and thoughts. It was almost eerie in a sense, and Dixie hated that. There was another small silence and then Dixie just snapped.

"Have you ever felt like you just want to get away from it all? Like... look past it all and get on with your life?" The question could be considered a thoughtful one, and at the moment it was one to Dix. She wanted to know Devon's honest answer. She needed to know Devon's honest answer. She wanted to reassure herself that she wasn't the only one in the world who thought about running from their problems. Even if her problems were tiny compared to others, she needed to hear that she was able to run from them if given the chance. It was simple in her face, because Adam didn't remember anything and she could just get up and leave his life. But she wouldn't be able to leave her memories behind. The only solution Dixie could think of for that was leaving Hogwarts all together, and each day that idea seemed to grow brighter and brighter. Dixie sighed and ran her fingers through her tangled and sopping hair. "I don't mean to sound deep and thought provoking, I'm just wondering if I'm the only one in the world with the idea of running away instead of facing their problems." Her eyes focused on Devon, wondering how the girl would reply to her. Most people would just roll their eyes and leave and if Devon wanted to do that, that would be fine with Dixie. She would cherish the alone time anyway.

[Devon Darcy Daniels]

Devon watched the fire as the silence continued to hang over them. Finally, Dixie broke the silence by saying she hated the rain. With a small smile, Devon leaned back so her palms were on the ground, “I love the rain. It’s nature’s music and makes for the perfect tempo to run to.” She cast a look at Dixie a moment and then looked away again as another silence seemed to take over the air which was slowly warming up. Devon’s mind focused on her throbbing legs, reminding her that she needed to stretch them out and cool them down. She shoved her legs out in front of her and then started to rub at them with slow working hands. Just when Devon thought the silence would completely take over, Dixie spoke again, this time about something that she wouldn’t have expected to be said at a first conversation. People could surprise you, though. Sure it was just a simple question, but it was a question that was making Devon think about a lot of things and those things led to Devon thinking about life outside of Hogwarts. Had she ever looked past it all? Every single day. The question, although as good as it was, peaked Devon’s curiosity a bit. Why such a thought provoking question? Dixie went on to explain that she hadn’t meant to sound that way, she just wanted reassurance that she wasn’t the only one in the world who had these types of thoughts.

“Well, yeah. I guess who hasn’t? Sometimes life doesn’t go their way so they think about how it was or would be without Hogwarts, without magic. I’ve thought about it a lot, because life without magic was okay and all. I haven’t changed much since before Hogwarts and that’s not to say that I haven’t grown as a person. But I just know that things are… the way they are because I don’t mind them being that way.” Devon stopped rubbing her legs to look at Dixie with questioning eyes. “You aren’t the only one who’s wanted to get out of it. You aren’t the only one who’s wanted life to continue on after all that’s gone on and all that’s been horrible. This is your life Dixie, do something with it. If it means starting over someplace new, or starting over completely… try your hardest. Nothing else matters more in life than your happiness. Nothing.” Devon had thought about all of this many of times before, she thought about what it would be like to leave Hogwarts and return home. It wouldn’t be the same to her, and she had to think about what kept her happy. Yeah, she would be able to adjust, she always adjusted, but Devon was Devon and Devon was always able to make her life better than it seemed to be. She didn’t know if Dixie could do that.

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

Dixie stared, not at the fire, but at the ground she was sitting on as the silence seemed to dance over them dangerously. It was when Devon made a comment to her saying she hated the rain that the silence seemed to have eased up on them to let them breathe a bit. She was saying something about rain always being the perfect tempo to run to and all Dixie could do was smile softly because she didn’t know what to say to that. This girl had a passion and Dixie didn’t. Not really. All she had was fashion, and granted, she was really good at it and she loved it, but fashion didn’t come with “rain tempos” like running did for this girl. Dixie felt like she was back in her fifth year when Mack had everything and she had absolutely nothing. “You’re talking to the wrong sister about tempos, Daniels.” She hadn’t meant to sound as rude as she had, but it came out like that. It was a natural response from Dixie Holden, especially since she seemed to be reverting back to her old self with no confidence and no faith in anyone or anything. She ran her fingers, limply, through her sopping hair in hopes that it wouldn’t just lay flat on her shoulders. It was bad enough that Devon had already seen her at one of her lower points, but Dixie didn’t have to look a horrid mess. The thoughts that were flowing through her mind were kinds of thoughts she hadn’t had since her fifth year when she broke down on the Express. Thoughts of what other people thought about her and how she certainly wouldn’t be able to deal if they were bad thoughts.

She brought her attention back to Devon when she was talking about it was her, Dixie, life. No one else’s and that all that mattered was that Dixie was happy with it. Dixie chewed on her bottom lip as she let these thoughts swirl around in her head. She knew Devon was right, she did, but she didn’t want to admit it aloud. The silence was back and Dixie had to fight the nerve to throw her head back and scream, because that was what she felt she was only capable of doing. Screaming and crying hysterically. Finally, after a moment of just being quiet, Dixie sighed and looked over at Devon. “I know,” she said in a timid voice, “but the idea of leaving this place… it’s frightening. Especially since I would be leaving someone I love very much behind… but I think I have to do it. I’d just be speeding along something that I had planned before. I’ve already been through the heartache that I was expecting to go through in June, so I suppose there’s no time like the present to pack my bags and move to Paris. Right? I mean, I’m not totally wrong or completely in over my head… I can do it, right?” Dixie wasn’t even aware that she was opening up to someone she wouldn’t have given a first glance to a year ago. This girl was her saviour at the moment and that was all that mattered to Dixie. That and her sopping hair.

[Devon Darcy Daniels]

Devon let out a laugh when Dixie told her she was talking to the wrong sister about tempos. Of course, she knew Dixie was referring to Mack and her music but Devon didn’t much care for the younger girl’s songs and she was certain Dixie didn’t feel like talking about her younger sister’s success while she seemed to be moping about something. With a small nod of her head, she let her laughter dwindle into a smile, “Well, I don’t think even Mackenzie would get what I mean by this kind of tempo. I fear I’m alone in this crazy world when it comes to running. Or, at least, at Hogwarts.” She smiled again and lifted her eyes to the rain that was pouring on their bubble. It was quite pretty, the way the rain seemed to flow down the dome. Devon found herself entranced in it for a moment or two, and then she tucked her hair which had fallen out of it’s pony tail a bit behind her ear while letting out a small sigh. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Dixie fixing her hair as well, and that caused Devon to laugh lightly. Even two people so different as herself and Dixie Holden worried about the same things from time to time. It was ironic in a sense, but Devon also found it strangely comforting to know that everyone was alike in some way. She kept her eyes on the rain that was falling down around them as the silence seemed to eat at them once more. Devon was waiting patiently for Dixie's answer and when she got it, it wasn't exactly what she had been expecting.

Instead of just receiving a straight answer, Dixie had turned it back toward Devon asking her if she thought Dixie really could do it. Of course, Devon had never met Dixie before so she didn't know anything about her or her personality or whatnot, but she had a feeling deep down that Dixie could do anything she was determined to accomplish. Devon felt Dixie's eyes on her and she suddenly felt that uncomfortable gnawing at her stomach. She only got it when people stared at her intensely. She shrugged and looked over at Dixie, "I think you can do anything you set your mind to, as cliche as that sounds. But listen, if you do plan on leaving this place and going to Paris. Look up my brother, Clayton Daniels, at the Ministry building there. He might be able to help you out with anything. I'll write him a letter to tell him you might be coming. But do what you think is right for you. Not for anyone else." Devon smiled encouragingly and stood from her spot on the ground, "With that said, I'm going to run back. I need to work on an essay and well... let's just say procrastination is thine name." She smiled brightly at Dixie once more and waved her wand to open a hole for her to slip out of. One more wave and a smile at Dixie, and Devon started the jog up to the castle.