Adam, Kia & Astrid

[Ariane Chan]

*hugs you all*

I needed a hug... or need... lol. And I just... well. Wanted to say hi. I'm a bit swamped at the moment... and um, Adam, I'm officially going on vacation until mid-February. I will be online during school time but really... I don't have any time to spare. I'm growing a bit desperate, and without exaggerating, I feel like I'm being sucked into a big black hole and I'm drowning or something silly like that. I'm afraid even my love of 4Houses is being completely undermined by my stress. It's driving me mad and I had a bit of a crying session with my dad and brother before sleeping last night. All my securities and issues are just coming back and the guilt, and... I don't know. I'm going crazy and I need time off.

I'm so sorry, especially to Adam, that I won't be posting. I'm really glad you've got your mojo back (lol), and I wish we were on par for once! Worst timing ever on my behalf, aha. Astrid, I'm not even in a Theo mood 'cause I've lost all desire to be in a romantic/physical mood. Um... I was kinda hoping we could skip Theo posting and have Scott and Lori appear. If you guys could sort that thread out, I'd be ever so grateful. You can god-mode Theo running out after Lori and we'll start a separate thread when I return. Oscar and Scott... that's up to you, if anything happens there. Kia, since you'll know exactly how I feel about these exams, I don't think I really need to explain myself. I just want to sit and down and cry because I just don't feel good enough at all. But, good luck to you in your exams. I know it sucks, but I believe in you - really!

The bottom line is, I've got three important exams next week (vital), a looming Eng Lit coursework deadline (vital), an university interview (I need to prepare 10-16-pages of creative writing by 6th Feb, plus re-read and prepare from my personal statement), and the school magazine... and although I know I could do it, I'm mentally completely exhausted - and physically too. I'm just getting through each day by... I don't know. I'm just getting by the best I can. Get up, go to school, get through the day, rush late homework, get home, collapse, try to work, fail to work, stress, waste time, sleep really late - and then the cycle starts again. Inside I feel like I'm crumbling. It's not just the work... because I can deal with the work, ish. It's the worry... Not being good enough, my parents, etc. I can't help but have doubts and I've always been that sort of person.

Anyway, without sounding like I'm trying to heap this onto you three, I just wanted to explain and apologise. I realised this morning when I couldn't even go to the computer and check 4Houses (the first thing I do when I come into school...), and I just sat there and... I don't know. I knew I had to say: I'm not going to come back for a while.

Adam, please apologise to Justin about Derek for me. I'm afraid I won't be posting her for quite a while. I'm sorry about India as well, and Hermione to you and Astrid. Um... I think that's most of my characters with you all. Oh, and Adam and Kia, sorry about WW... I don't think I can face anything at the moment. I hope-- no, I know you guys understand. I'm just so sorry.

I don't have the energy at all, so if someone (Adam, most likely) could apologise to Joseph for me about Seth, and Mandi about D (oh, and Nat about Erica), that would be great. I'll tell Izy in person. I'll tell Kat in person about Quidditch too...

Thank you. I do appreciate it your support and friendship and everything so much. *hug*

[Ariane Chan]

Hey guys! Just popping in to say hi, now that I have a free moment at school. I just did my English re-sits - two of them, the first one hour and the second two hours (though I was under the impression it was an hour and a half until halfway through the exam xD;;). The first one went well, the second one not so well... *shrug* I'm just glad it's over. It's like a huge burden has been lifted.

But it's not over yet! I have Psychology on Wednesday and inside I'm beginning to panic again. I get slight panics when I envisage the next month or so and the amount of work I have to do. *sigh* But at the moment I'm taking it one step at a time. Next is revising for Psychology, and once that exam is over, I can focus on English Lit coursework and the university applications... and hopefully get it all done in about two to three weeks. :/ Lol. Oh, plus the magazine somewhere along the way...

Anyway, basically I'm a lot calmer. :) Hope you're all well. Hope your exams are going okay, Kia!

Anyway, I'll be back (ish) after Wednesday, and I will be playing for Quidditch. :) I will attempt to post one post per week... maybe two. So, if you guys want me to post someone in particular, do tell me. I think Hermie is beyond my posting ability and inspiration right now, but anyone else - India, Theo and Aurora - just say so. I have to post Ariane anyway. :)

Hmhm, I think that's all I have to say. Oh, Adam, I got your message and thank you. *huggles* It's nice to know I have support and I really do appreciate it. I would reply (as you know, lol), but I don't really have the time.

Oh, and Adam and Astrid, please say in staff that I received Julia's PM about the main plot and it sounds fine by me. :) And if someone could tell me if we're going to make another forum for discussion, that would be good. :)

[Oscar Flynn G7]

Viv. -hug- Again, sorry I didn't reply before and sorry this is so short... hectic weekend aha, I've been busier than I had initially hoped. Rosie's sister finally went in labour on Tuesday, had little Gracie on Friday! Eee ~ so happy aha.

As for your absence, I do miss you! But of course, it's fine - as we say, RL before 4Houses. *sigh* Just do what you need to do and hurry back. (;

I'm glad the first Eng re-sit went well anyway. (: And wish you luck in your Psychology on Weds! ;0 Tell me how it goes.

Yep, we'll chuck the forum to you if it's created soon, which it should be I guess. ^^

[Ariane Chan]

Thanks, Astrid. :)

I hate RL sometimes. *grumble*

Well... all my January modules are officially over! *cheers* Thank goodness for that.

Then again, I did totally muck up Psychology this morning. *sweatdrop* *sigh*

It was the worst exam I'd done in my whole life; and although I've never been great at exams, I've never been awful. This one was in a league of its own!

To cut a long story short, my Psychology classmates and I revised all the wrong things. We predicted the wrong questions would come up and sat there for an hour and a half crying inside. Lol. I was one of the few that left the exam in tact. After all, I'd already spent an hour mulling it over: I'd failed big time, and I would need to resit it in May or June. *shrug* There was nothing I could do. I tried my best in there with utterly no knowledge. I regret I didn't revise the right things, but I don't regret leaving my revision till the last minute so much. It wouldn't have made a difference; I doubt I would have revised zeitgebers or whatever those biological rhythms are... lol.

So yeah. I only knew one of the three questions. Basically the maximum mark I can realistic get is about 20 - 30 out of 76, lol. Which is just disastrous, but never mind. I've never been one to look to the past. I regret a lot, but I also never let it get to me as much. :) I'll survive, aha.

Anyway, won't be back for good yet... got a busy few weeks ahead of me. I can't wait till February when I can be a bit more active. If you want me to prioritise some posts, please remember to say. ;)

Astrid, I've got Maryn on it for All Things Lost with Lori, so if you could change the title sometime, that'd be good. ^^

Hope you guys have been well, by the way. Lol, I've been so absorbed in myself... so I do apologise! (I actually wrote on my exam paper this morning: 'This is what happens when you revise all the wrong things and fail to revise all the right things. I do apologise for my terrible answers. Resits, here we come!' No joke. I really did. I mean, I sat there for a whole hour. What is a girl to do?! xD) I hope you guys are all doing well. I know how it feels to be busy lol, Astrid. ;)