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[Grace Hunter H5]

I have done a lot of thinking lately and think it is perhaps best that I leave the site. I know that my activity is only ever in short bursts so I will not be missed. My writing is of a poor standard.

August seemed to think it was a good idea to snap at me for no reason, apparently for replying to an owl adressed to him. To be perfectly honest, when there is no reply after a couple days I thought it would be perfectly acceptable for the vice captain to post a response. I'm also sure that the individual who posted the owl didn't mind that the vice answered rather than the captain. Either way, I felt your owl was a bit forward and generally upset me.

In addition, I have a lot going on in my life, I don't want to let the majority of you down by failing to upkeep a standard of which I can hold.

All of your opinion on this would obviously be appreciated.

[Alice Swann]

Hey Matt. *huggles* You're asking for advice, so I'll give you mine. Feel free to disregard it or not follow it - it's just advice, and I hope it can help you in any way possible. (:

First of all, you say your activity is topsy-turvy. I don't know if you've noticed, but most members here, especially the old, loyal ones, have dodgy activity. Sometimes it's because of real life, sometimes it's because that's how inspiration works, but if it's activity you're worried about, look around and ask yourself, Is that a good enough reason? I don't think anyone here can say they're consistent anymore; it's not been like that for a long, long time, and one of the beauties about 4 Houses is that you're welcome to come back and post any time you like, depending on how real life and inspiration is.

Secondly, you won't be missed? OF COURSE YOU'LL BE MISSED, DON'T BE SILLY. *pokes you* Every single member - EVERY SINGLE MEMBER - here is appreciated, there is no question about that. Any member who can write more than two paragraphs without making me scratch my eyes out and reads and follows the rules properly is worthy and loved and wanted, trust me. We have so little members as it is right now, so every member counts even more.

Thirdly, I can't completely comment on your writing - you joined round the time I decided to leave so I haven't had a chance - but I've seen you post around the site, and they look a decent length. Even if the quality is poor right now, the point of writing on 4 Houses is to improve. You have no idea how much I have improved since I joined three years ago; it might not be as noticeable as some, but I can tell my writing is better in places, and that's because I practised and learnt what worked and what didn't. If you don't practise, you'll never get better and will always be at that level.

I know exactly how you feel about letting people down. I always felt pressured to post asap, and I got really worked up about it. Every time my activity fell, I felt like taking a long break because I couldn't handle doing a half-arsed job - and that's what I did a lot. If that is what you think you need, then you should take that break. Pressure is rarely conducive, especially if this is clashing with your real life. But bear in mind lots of members disappear for a while, or their activity drops; it happens, real life is real life and it's more important at the end of the day! That doesn't mean you need to leave the site.

I don't think you should stay if your only reason is feeling guilty leaving when the site is so quiet as it is, or because you're committed to posts and / or plots. If you really feel the need to leave - like so many of us do, myself included - then go, and I have almost no doubt that if you're a true member of 4 Houses, you'll return one day anyway. Posts and plots will survive, the site will survive. You will definitely be missed - don't argue with me, lol - but you should do what's right for you, and no one else. Writing doesn't work any other way - it should never be forced.

Overall, I think you should do what you want to and think you need to do. You should stay because you want to keep writing, keep being with us, and because you love it, not because you have to because of post or plot commitments. Even if you're busy, that's okay; even if your standard's low at the moment, that's okay too. Your absence means that when you're present, you'll be even more appreciated. (: And, in fact, I can tell you from experience that it makes you appreciate 4 Houses more too!

(Oh, and sorry for ranting and talking a lot. I er, do that. xD;;)

[Finn Miles H7]

My reply won't be as long-winded as Viv's, but here's what I think.

First up, activity level comes and goes. We all know that. I don't think it's ever a reason to give up all the work you put into your current characters if you think there's a chance you'll return. Take a vacation, spend a week away, and then reconsider.

Second, I'm not sure what conversation happened between you and August, and quite frankly, I don't want to bring it to public forum. But please understand that everyone has their moments of frustration or "snappiness" that we sometimes can't control. And, knowing him as a friend, I'm sure that Joseph didn't mean to be rude. Technically owls are meant to be private, in that you don't even read ones that are not addressed to you, however that is a practise that I think has faded over the years. Either way, I know, and I'm sure August realizes as well, that you were simply trying to be helpful. If this is a big reason for your wanting to leave, please catch me in a private chat and we'll talk.

Anyways, I just wanted to add my thoughts. I think you've been a great asset to the site. If you wish to leave, that is your prerogative. However, you would be missed.

If you want my advice, just put yourself on the vaca list for a few weeks. It can do wonders for your inspiration and well-being when you find yourself in one of those slumps on the site. Trust me, I've been there a million times before.

[Ivy Tunstall]

I think that Adam's suggestion is a good one - put yourself on the vacation list for a few weeks and take a break for a while. That way you don't have to worry about the goings on here, but can pop on when you feel like it.

Real life comes first: if you're busy, that's fine and everyone understands the feeling. While Four Houses can provide a relief from stress, you should stick around; if it starts to stress you out for whatever reason, then just take time out - it shouldn't be a source of stress in your life. When I was on staff, the site sometimes was a source of stress for me, but I generally felt that dealing with it was part of the responsibility that comes with being a staff member - don't you worry about doing that. It's up to you to look after yourself and you know what's best.

As for your exchange with August, I know that it can be difficult, but try not to take it too personally. Words that were meant as a friendly reminder can sometimes sting in a way that wasn't intended. It's very difficult to strike a balance between upholding rules, which is one of the vital jobs of staffies and explaining them in a friendly manner that recognises honest mistakes and acknowledges that you haven't done anything unreasonable (I'm sure you were able to be helpful . I'm fairly sure that I still got the balance wrong on occasion even after years on staff - I have a sharp tongue and when I'm tired, if I don't check over how I phrase things, I can end up upsetting people when I really didn't mean to. Most people are probably guilty of it at some point or other.

Anyway, one exchange like that doesn't mean that you're not a valued member - in my time on staff I managed to offend people I really respect (Adam, you're one example, I hope you won't mind me mentioning) and my best friends, despite how well they understand my general disposition (Kathryn + Viv who you know, and Nasser who left a while back - amongst others!). Staff have entrusted you with the responsibility of Vice Captain, so clearly they appreciate your helpful and enthusiastic qualities that make you right for the role. Your RPing is of a very good standard - I'm sure that I've exalted you from time to time. I don't exalt people for their posts unless I really mean it, and I've seen a lot of very good writing on Four Houses over the years!

Basically, you know what's best for you. But be sure - however much or little time you want to spend on Four Houses, you have friends here who will always be happy to see you around and you'll always be welcome.

[zoeyshay]

MAAAAAATT!

First of all, your writing is SO MUCH better than mine. Maybe yours isn't as lengthly as mine can be, but that doesn't mean a thing. In my writing, I seem to ramble on because personally, I am obsessed with length of my posts, but you, some may be short, but they were filled with remarkable words and I can almost feel your character's feelings and see them acting and speaking. You make very interesting posts obviously, or else we would have never won a Hoscar! Out of ALL the brilliant and amazing posts throughout the year, the thread YOU came up with was one of two that won, out of probably a thousand threads.

Second, Joseph. Maybe he was having a bad day, lack of sleep or as Izy said, just a moment of frustration. I may have not talked to Joseph that much generally, but from what I have, he is a really nice, caring guy. I am almost positive that he didn't mean to snap or whatever he did. I'm not sticking up for anyone, because I know that it wasn't right for him to snap at you, but...I'd just forget about it. *huggles*

Third, your life. As everyone can agree, real life comes first. We all can understand because I don't think ANYONE has been oh-so consistant on the site. I know Izy, Adam, Justin 1 and Justin 2, Sara, Viv, Kat and many, many others as well as myself has taken a break from the site, whether it just be IC or from the site all together. If you feel overwhelmed and unappreciated (which is not truuuuue!) then take Adam's advice. Just post a vacation post and when things are better, you can come back, even if it's just for a week or two. 4Houses always welcomes members, new or returning.

Matt, please don't leave the site for silly thinks like activity or a little PM or something. We all would miss you if you went.

[Grace Hunter H5]

Awwk, thanks guys ^.^
Ima stay me thinks.
<3