Post by Danny McKay G5 on Sept 25, 2009 16:23:07 GMT
I wrote this like two years ago when I just started reading The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. I laughed at how bad it was when I found it last night. It was full of errors and mistakes when I found it and I fixed most of them.
(It's still probably full of errors I was very tried last night.)
The Greatest story ever! chapter one: The begining!
Our story begins in a small peaceful town. You know one of those towns where you just look around and you can see how annoyingly peaceful this place is just at the first glance. The hero of this story and I use the term loosely is a young man named David Dent. His life was just like everyone else pretty much he was born, grew up, went to school, got beat up every now and then, and then got a job after he was done with school.
Well that was till on one of his normal trips home from work he got the feeling he was being followed but there was nothing behind him or around him. Everything was dark and quite behind him. As he turned around there was something in the sky which looked like a huge flying rock which someone had decided to put Christmas lights on for the hell of it. He turned around to start running but as he did he hit a wall and knocked himself out.
He woke up what he guess had to be hours later. As he looked around the room there were more Christmas lights everywhere. He kept looking around hoping somehow he would see an exit sign. He was in that room for what seemed like an hour looking for an exit till he got up off the floor and looked around more. There were black monitors with black keyboards with all black buttons. "How could anyone see what there doing on these." He said out loud. " I must have been picked up by aliens and now they’re going to..." He paused to think of what was going to happen to him. The panic had started to set in. "They're going to eat me or worse!" He ran around yelling saying over and over again.
On the black wall part of it shaped like a door way opened up and two figures walked in. David saw this and looked for somewhere to hide behind but couldn't find anything big enough to hide behind. The figures looked evil but that’s all he could guess with it being so dark. He saw one of them reach up on the wall and flip something and all the lights turn on. He almost passed out to see two monkeys standing there. The monkeys both saw him easy and one of them started to yell at the other in some weird language but nothing like what a monkey would usually say. They both kept yelling at one another till they realized again that he was there.
As the monkey turned to look at him he then walked off to one of the monitors and started hitting some buttons but they both kept arguing with each other. "Interspecies translator on." A voice said from all over the room. "And I'll tell you another thing first you bring that dam crate of earth bananas with us and now this pink thing I mean really you have to take everything you see don't you!" He yelled and David dropped to the floor as he realized he could understand it. "Me! We went to mars the other day and you got a whole thing of Shrunken Martian heads!" the one monkey yelled back at the other. "That was different! You idiot that was on are shopping list! I don't see pink stupid thing on the list anywhere do I!" He yelled back pointing at the monitor that now had words on it.
"What going on? I was just on my way home and I get kidnapped by monkeys!" David yelled but covered his mouth as soon as he did. Both of them looked at him. "Monkeys?" they then looked at each other. "What’s a monkey? Probably some stupid human thing." the mean monkey said looking back at David. "He’s not stupid they just don't know as much as us." the other monkey said now looking at David. "That’s the same as being stupid."
David had, had just enough of this. "I am not stupid! I was just on my way home from work and then some flying Christmas rock with two rude monkeys pick me up and now I don't know what’s going on! If you’re going to eat me then just get it over with!" Both monkeys just laughed as he said that. "Ea..ea...eat you!" He could barely get out as he laughing so much. "Listen pink one sit down no one here is going to eat you. Humans taste terrible kind of like roasted panda it's awful!" they both kept laughing as David stood there confused then sat down in the black chair behind him.
"I'm bubbles and this is my friend Kong." Kong was the mean one that was yelling before. "bubbles and Kong the space monkey great what’s next Godzilla the space lizard."
The Greatest Story Ever! Chapter 2: Tomorrow Cant be today?
"Space monkeys?" Bubbles asked looking at David as Kong sat at the monitor hitting more buttons. "What are monkeys?" Bubbles asked. David had come to the conclusion that this was all some sick dream and he was going to wake up any moment but while he was here he might as well play along. "Well monkeys are well you but they don't talk they just make loud sounds and throw rocks." David said as he looked back over to Kong just slamming buttons. "Umm what is he doing?" He asked bubbles. Bubbles turned to Kong and just shock his head. "That idiot! He doesn't know what he's doing." Bubbles yelled.
"Me you picked up that human those dam bananas and so much other stuff I cant even begin to think of and I'm trying to bring this pink thing back home so we can get going already." Kong yelled back. David didn't know why they both kept yelling at each other probably some space monkey thing. "Your just slamming buttons and you know why cause you cant see a thing! It was your idea to have all black buttons on an all black keyboard in an all black room. Great Idea thumbs ups!" Bubbles yelled as he walked over to Kong. They both seemed to forget about David but he didn't care this was all just a bad dream anyway.
"I know what I'm going I turned the translator on!" Kong yelled back looking at bubbles now and still slamming buttons. "Yea I know and you also turned on the headlights, windshield wipers and my mix tape maker!" Bubble yelled back. "Why cant I just go home!" David yelled standing up now. "I will as soon as I hit this button!" Kong said slamming the buttons one more time. "Hyper space speed on and set to max!" The computer said and both monkeys had stopped yelling at each other. "You didn't... did you?" Bubbles said shocked. "Umm I guess I did...Sorry." Kong said smiling. "You idiot!" Bubbles said as the whole room and David guessed ship Jerked and threw all of them against the wall.
Thirty minutes later they were all still against the wall and the ship start to feel like it was spinning. "How the hell do you get this thing to stop?" David yelled starting to get sick. "Well that’s easy we just have to...." Bubbles said but was cut off by the computer. "Going to crash into the end of the universe in 10 seconds." The computer said and with a cheerful tone added. "Enjoy the rest of your life!"
"Or we could just stop like that!" Bubbles yelled now both monkeys were screaming their heads off. "Good thing this is just a dream" David said and both the monkeys stopped yelling. "A dream!" Kong said as he hit David on the head. "oww! That hurt! Wait dreams don't hurt!" David started yelling. "Hey lets give a medal to the stupid human he figured out he wasn't asleep!" Kong yelled as the computer came back over the room. "Time till death 3.... 2...1..." The computer said and the ship stopped and they weren't dead a few second pasted by and nothing happened still.
The computer then came over the room again. "You are now out of fuel, Please enjoy your walk to the closest fueling station." The computer was just so happy too dam happy for David's taste. "O great! Just great! Hey lets hit random buttons send us to our death just to be saved by us being out of fuel at the end of the universe!" Bubbles said hitting Kong over the head. Kong just stood there and took it and didn't say anything.
David just sat there as bubbles kept hitting Kong. "Why cant tomorrow just be today?" David said sighing. "Because it's always a day away." A voice said from outside the ship. "Dammit this is why I hate the end of the universe!" Bubbles said pointing to the wall of the ship. "Now they're all around us!" David was so confused much more then he was to begin with that was as confused as he thought he could have been. "Who?" David said looking around. "We are so screwed!" Kong yelled as he ran around like it was going to help do something.
The Greatest story ever! chapter 3: Lost and found?
We are so screwed!" Kong kept repeating as he ran in circles waving his hands in the air. David just sat down looking around just wishing he had stayed at work for that extra hour of overtime. That voice from outside the ship still had David spooked. "I wish he would just shut up it's not as bad as he makes it out to be human." Bubbles said sighing and looking over to David. "We just have to escape the end of the universe find fuel and find our way back to earth." bubbles said looking around the ship as if what he had just said sounded so easy and common.
"Find our way back to earth?!" David yelled as he got up. "What do you mean find our way back to earth?" Bubbles looked over to David like he was crazy. "Lets deal with the more important matter right now human, we have to get out of here." Bubbles said as he looked around the room. David sat back down feeling overwhelmed but didn't see why this place was so bad nothing bad had happened yet just some unexplained voice outside the ship.
"So what’s so dangerous about this place?" He David said as he got up and looked out a small window he found but it was almost on the ground about monkey height he guessed and all he saw was more space. "Nothing yet but the longer we stay here the worse it will get." Bubbles said now sitting in front of the monitor. "Here let me show you." Bubbles said she he pushed a few buttons and the small window David was looking out of grew to the size of David himself. It wasn't just space anymore Half of it was space and the rest was a bright white wall of light and they were barely not touching it.
"Wha! wha! What!" David said as he was knocked down to the floor. "Yea ten point to the human!" Kong said as he was the one that knocked down David then ran around again yelling. "That’s the end of the universe, it's kind of pretty aside from the fact that we may never get out of here." Bubbles said slamming buttons now and nothing was happening. "And what the hell was that voice before?" David said now remembering the voice from before. "O that well that was just the voice of someone who had lost their voice. "On top of being the end of the universe this is also the universe's lost and found pretty much. You lose something it gets sent here." Bubble said now leaving the room to find something. "What the hell is he talking about? Lost and found...what the!" David said as a pair of socks flew by them and were sucked into the white wall on nothingness. "Holy hell!" David yelled out as he sat there confused to the point where he felt like he was going to pass out.
Minutes passed and David had come to terms now with what was happening to him and he still felt this was some kind of dream. Bubbles voice then came over the room. "Well I have good new and bad news. The good new is I think I may have found us some fuel." Kong stopped running around and yelling and just stood there smiling forgetting about the bad new that was coming up. "The bad news is that it’s flying right at us and we have no way to move." Kong still stood there smiling. "So I'll just go out there and catch it will my hands if I have to." Kong yelled still happy. "O yea and an extra bonus it's inside the fueling ship." Bubbles said now turning the intercom off. "How the hell do you lose a fueling ship their about 2 miles wide and look like a cloud?" Kong yelled now pissed off again.
"This universe is going insane! The end of the universe is a lost and found and i'm about to die by the one thing that could get us out of this mess!" David said now yelling. "Hello this is your computer speaking again you will now be dead in 5 minutes please enjoy your good byes and the rest of your life. "Shut up!" David and Kong both yelled at the same time as if the computer was going to answer back or something. "Jeez sorry I was programmed this way." The computer answered back. "But thanks for spending 10 second of what's left of your life fighting with me."
I never finished it but I think I will just for old times sake.
(It's still probably full of errors I was very tried last night.)
The Greatest story ever! chapter one: The begining!
Our story begins in a small peaceful town. You know one of those towns where you just look around and you can see how annoyingly peaceful this place is just at the first glance. The hero of this story and I use the term loosely is a young man named David Dent. His life was just like everyone else pretty much he was born, grew up, went to school, got beat up every now and then, and then got a job after he was done with school.
Well that was till on one of his normal trips home from work he got the feeling he was being followed but there was nothing behind him or around him. Everything was dark and quite behind him. As he turned around there was something in the sky which looked like a huge flying rock which someone had decided to put Christmas lights on for the hell of it. He turned around to start running but as he did he hit a wall and knocked himself out.
He woke up what he guess had to be hours later. As he looked around the room there were more Christmas lights everywhere. He kept looking around hoping somehow he would see an exit sign. He was in that room for what seemed like an hour looking for an exit till he got up off the floor and looked around more. There were black monitors with black keyboards with all black buttons. "How could anyone see what there doing on these." He said out loud. " I must have been picked up by aliens and now they’re going to..." He paused to think of what was going to happen to him. The panic had started to set in. "They're going to eat me or worse!" He ran around yelling saying over and over again.
On the black wall part of it shaped like a door way opened up and two figures walked in. David saw this and looked for somewhere to hide behind but couldn't find anything big enough to hide behind. The figures looked evil but that’s all he could guess with it being so dark. He saw one of them reach up on the wall and flip something and all the lights turn on. He almost passed out to see two monkeys standing there. The monkeys both saw him easy and one of them started to yell at the other in some weird language but nothing like what a monkey would usually say. They both kept yelling at one another till they realized again that he was there.
As the monkey turned to look at him he then walked off to one of the monitors and started hitting some buttons but they both kept arguing with each other. "Interspecies translator on." A voice said from all over the room. "And I'll tell you another thing first you bring that dam crate of earth bananas with us and now this pink thing I mean really you have to take everything you see don't you!" He yelled and David dropped to the floor as he realized he could understand it. "Me! We went to mars the other day and you got a whole thing of Shrunken Martian heads!" the one monkey yelled back at the other. "That was different! You idiot that was on are shopping list! I don't see pink stupid thing on the list anywhere do I!" He yelled back pointing at the monitor that now had words on it.
"What going on? I was just on my way home and I get kidnapped by monkeys!" David yelled but covered his mouth as soon as he did. Both of them looked at him. "Monkeys?" they then looked at each other. "What’s a monkey? Probably some stupid human thing." the mean monkey said looking back at David. "He’s not stupid they just don't know as much as us." the other monkey said now looking at David. "That’s the same as being stupid."
David had, had just enough of this. "I am not stupid! I was just on my way home from work and then some flying Christmas rock with two rude monkeys pick me up and now I don't know what’s going on! If you’re going to eat me then just get it over with!" Both monkeys just laughed as he said that. "Ea..ea...eat you!" He could barely get out as he laughing so much. "Listen pink one sit down no one here is going to eat you. Humans taste terrible kind of like roasted panda it's awful!" they both kept laughing as David stood there confused then sat down in the black chair behind him.
"I'm bubbles and this is my friend Kong." Kong was the mean one that was yelling before. "bubbles and Kong the space monkey great what’s next Godzilla the space lizard."
The Greatest Story Ever! Chapter 2: Tomorrow Cant be today?
"Space monkeys?" Bubbles asked looking at David as Kong sat at the monitor hitting more buttons. "What are monkeys?" Bubbles asked. David had come to the conclusion that this was all some sick dream and he was going to wake up any moment but while he was here he might as well play along. "Well monkeys are well you but they don't talk they just make loud sounds and throw rocks." David said as he looked back over to Kong just slamming buttons. "Umm what is he doing?" He asked bubbles. Bubbles turned to Kong and just shock his head. "That idiot! He doesn't know what he's doing." Bubbles yelled.
"Me you picked up that human those dam bananas and so much other stuff I cant even begin to think of and I'm trying to bring this pink thing back home so we can get going already." Kong yelled back. David didn't know why they both kept yelling at each other probably some space monkey thing. "Your just slamming buttons and you know why cause you cant see a thing! It was your idea to have all black buttons on an all black keyboard in an all black room. Great Idea thumbs ups!" Bubbles yelled as he walked over to Kong. They both seemed to forget about David but he didn't care this was all just a bad dream anyway.
"I know what I'm going I turned the translator on!" Kong yelled back looking at bubbles now and still slamming buttons. "Yea I know and you also turned on the headlights, windshield wipers and my mix tape maker!" Bubble yelled back. "Why cant I just go home!" David yelled standing up now. "I will as soon as I hit this button!" Kong said slamming the buttons one more time. "Hyper space speed on and set to max!" The computer said and both monkeys had stopped yelling at each other. "You didn't... did you?" Bubbles said shocked. "Umm I guess I did...Sorry." Kong said smiling. "You idiot!" Bubbles said as the whole room and David guessed ship Jerked and threw all of them against the wall.
Thirty minutes later they were all still against the wall and the ship start to feel like it was spinning. "How the hell do you get this thing to stop?" David yelled starting to get sick. "Well that’s easy we just have to...." Bubbles said but was cut off by the computer. "Going to crash into the end of the universe in 10 seconds." The computer said and with a cheerful tone added. "Enjoy the rest of your life!"
"Or we could just stop like that!" Bubbles yelled now both monkeys were screaming their heads off. "Good thing this is just a dream" David said and both the monkeys stopped yelling. "A dream!" Kong said as he hit David on the head. "oww! That hurt! Wait dreams don't hurt!" David started yelling. "Hey lets give a medal to the stupid human he figured out he wasn't asleep!" Kong yelled as the computer came back over the room. "Time till death 3.... 2...1..." The computer said and the ship stopped and they weren't dead a few second pasted by and nothing happened still.
The computer then came over the room again. "You are now out of fuel, Please enjoy your walk to the closest fueling station." The computer was just so happy too dam happy for David's taste. "O great! Just great! Hey lets hit random buttons send us to our death just to be saved by us being out of fuel at the end of the universe!" Bubbles said hitting Kong over the head. Kong just stood there and took it and didn't say anything.
David just sat there as bubbles kept hitting Kong. "Why cant tomorrow just be today?" David said sighing. "Because it's always a day away." A voice said from outside the ship. "Dammit this is why I hate the end of the universe!" Bubbles said pointing to the wall of the ship. "Now they're all around us!" David was so confused much more then he was to begin with that was as confused as he thought he could have been. "Who?" David said looking around. "We are so screwed!" Kong yelled as he ran around like it was going to help do something.
The Greatest story ever! chapter 3: Lost and found?
We are so screwed!" Kong kept repeating as he ran in circles waving his hands in the air. David just sat down looking around just wishing he had stayed at work for that extra hour of overtime. That voice from outside the ship still had David spooked. "I wish he would just shut up it's not as bad as he makes it out to be human." Bubbles said sighing and looking over to David. "We just have to escape the end of the universe find fuel and find our way back to earth." bubbles said looking around the ship as if what he had just said sounded so easy and common.
"Find our way back to earth?!" David yelled as he got up. "What do you mean find our way back to earth?" Bubbles looked over to David like he was crazy. "Lets deal with the more important matter right now human, we have to get out of here." Bubbles said as he looked around the room. David sat back down feeling overwhelmed but didn't see why this place was so bad nothing bad had happened yet just some unexplained voice outside the ship.
"So what’s so dangerous about this place?" He David said as he got up and looked out a small window he found but it was almost on the ground about monkey height he guessed and all he saw was more space. "Nothing yet but the longer we stay here the worse it will get." Bubbles said now sitting in front of the monitor. "Here let me show you." Bubbles said she he pushed a few buttons and the small window David was looking out of grew to the size of David himself. It wasn't just space anymore Half of it was space and the rest was a bright white wall of light and they were barely not touching it.
"Wha! wha! What!" David said as he was knocked down to the floor. "Yea ten point to the human!" Kong said as he was the one that knocked down David then ran around again yelling. "That’s the end of the universe, it's kind of pretty aside from the fact that we may never get out of here." Bubbles said slamming buttons now and nothing was happening. "And what the hell was that voice before?" David said now remembering the voice from before. "O that well that was just the voice of someone who had lost their voice. "On top of being the end of the universe this is also the universe's lost and found pretty much. You lose something it gets sent here." Bubble said now leaving the room to find something. "What the hell is he talking about? Lost and found...what the!" David said as a pair of socks flew by them and were sucked into the white wall on nothingness. "Holy hell!" David yelled out as he sat there confused to the point where he felt like he was going to pass out.
Minutes passed and David had come to terms now with what was happening to him and he still felt this was some kind of dream. Bubbles voice then came over the room. "Well I have good new and bad news. The good new is I think I may have found us some fuel." Kong stopped running around and yelling and just stood there smiling forgetting about the bad new that was coming up. "The bad news is that it’s flying right at us and we have no way to move." Kong still stood there smiling. "So I'll just go out there and catch it will my hands if I have to." Kong yelled still happy. "O yea and an extra bonus it's inside the fueling ship." Bubbles said now turning the intercom off. "How the hell do you lose a fueling ship their about 2 miles wide and look like a cloud?" Kong yelled now pissed off again.
"This universe is going insane! The end of the universe is a lost and found and i'm about to die by the one thing that could get us out of this mess!" David said now yelling. "Hello this is your computer speaking again you will now be dead in 5 minutes please enjoy your good byes and the rest of your life. "Shut up!" David and Kong both yelled at the same time as if the computer was going to answer back or something. "Jeez sorry I was programmed this way." The computer answered back. "But thanks for spending 10 second of what's left of your life fighting with me."
I never finished it but I think I will just for old times sake.
