The Rage of a Tornado ((Finn))

[Merrick Marr]

The storm that was brewing was clearly visible in the body of a tall athletic form. There was a whirlwind around him as he stormed out off the castle. A book bag was clutched in his hand and instead of remaining there it became a Quaffle, tossed roughly and hard against the building, hitting the stone walls with a loud crack and dropping to the ground at his feet. The few students that had taken refuge from the tornado snuck quickly back inside before they could draw his attention. There was no point in being quiet…not when he could see them so clearly moving past him, but he wasn’t going to throw anything at them…no…maybe he’d attempt to curse them however. The thought played across his mind as he pulled his wand out. Pointing it at the nearest student that was trying to duck inside. Flicking his wand in the kid’s direction there was a moment of clear panic on the kids face before he was lifted upside down by the ankle, hanging in mid air.

Merrick Marr stood there…admiring his handy work as he nodded. He was feeling slightly better, but still there was no point in letting the kid go yet. He’d use him as the punching bag that he needed. “Furnunculus,” Merrick growled as he flicked his wand once again at the kid still dangling in the air. Nasty boils slowly began to emerge over the visible area of his skin, more than likely along the invisible areas as well, but Merrick didn’t know for sure as a wicked smile curled his lips upward. It had been so long since he’d taken out his frustrations on someone…so long since he’d let himself get this angry. Right now all he wanted was to destroy something that was supposedly innocent like this kid. It was no doubt that he was trying to pull of being a good kid, when he was nothing of the sort.

A voice from behind him made Merrick freeze, but not for long as he flicked his wand back at the kid, letting the spell drop him back to the ground. Deep blue orbs watched the kid move quickly out of the courtyard, afraid that Merrick would once again pull him into the air and torture him. He didn’t realize that he was getting off lucky. Merrick felt his chest tighten, his heart pound hard against his ribs before he turned to meet the figure. It was Finn Miles and boy did Merrick suddenly want to disappear. It had been a while since Merrick had had an encounter with Finn and it was probably better that way. There were too many conflicting emotions…too many thoughts when he was around him. Merrick pulled his robe in tighter as he stalked back to retrieve his bag. “No need to for an audience…the shows over,” he growled under his breath. Silently cursing himself for being so rude, only to be chastised by the other part of him that felt the need to be rude to someone that had seemed to avoid him for the last few months. Whichever voice was winning out Merrick wasn’t sure as he stuffed his wand back into his pocket, glancing up for a second to Finn to see why he was still there watching him like he was some sort of freak show. “What?”

[Finn Miles H7]

With his Ancient Runes book tucked under one arm, Finn meandered through the courtyard, his eyes watching the ground rather than his surroundings. Lazily, he kicked at a stone that had been knocked loosed from the cobblestone pathway, and the sounds of the fountain filled his mind. He had been studying for the past half hour or so before realizing that it was still winter and, despite the lack of snow on the grounds, still quite cold outside. It was nice to have some fresh air though, and he had dressed warmly enough to keep from freezing.

As he walked, the sudden sounds of hushed gasps from around the castle corner caught his attention. He saw a few students scurry toward the door, seemingly in a hurry to avoid something. With a curious stare, Finn decided to see what was going on. He was a prefect after all, and things like this were part of his responsibility.

As he turned the corner, he saw the familiar figure of Merrick, his back toward Finn as he was facing a younger student who had been turned upside down. Letting out a snort of disbelief, Finn reached for his own wand. "Merrick!" he shouted, not attempting to hide his tone of disappointment. Merrick knew better. Any seventh year should have known better. But this didn't surprise Finn. This was the side of Merrick he knew existed, despite his tendency to look past it to the other side of Merrick that few people could recognize.

"Put him down, you twit," he said, the insult more of a slap on the wrist than a full-fledged attack. After all, Finn considered Merrick to be a good friend, even if the two hadn't spoken for the past few months. Eventually, Merrick listened, letting the boy fall rather brutally on his head, and, as he passed, Finn could see that Merrick had done some other wand-work to the poor guy. Needless to say, the boy would run to Madam Pompfrey, surely causing Slytherin to lose some points when news got out as to why he had the boils in the first place.

"Oh, just going to stand there all innocent looking?" Finn shot, the heavy sarcasm unmistakable in his voice. He'd never really been angry at Merrick, but then again, this was his first personal encounter with Merrick's darker side. The threat of taking points from Slytherin wouldn't affect Merrick on the spot, so Finn avoided that route. His goal wasn't to anger Merrick, but more just to figure out why he was doing what he was doing. Finn did know him well enough to know that there had to be a reason. Merrick was above tormenting younger kids just for the sheer pleasure. Something was eating at him.

"Is this about Quidditch?" he asked, his voice starting to lose its harsh edge. Finn couldn't help but feel sympathetic. He knew how much Quidditch meant to Merrick, and to have lost it due to an accident would be devastating for sure. They had already talked about that though, so Finn wondered if it was something more. "Tell me, what has you parading the courtyard like a typical bully, behaving like you're twelve again?"

[Merrick Marr]

“Would you rather me run down that kid and apologize for taking out my frustrations on him? He probably deserved that,” Merrick bit back in annoyance as he ran a hand through his spiked dirty blonde hair. His hand going for the smokes that he’d shoved in his pocket. At that point he didn’t care where he was. He needed the smoke. Pulling one of the cigarettes from the pack he couldn’t help the tensing in his muscles as Finn continued to push at him. Merrick didn’t want to talk about it…how had he ever gotten himself involved with Finn. They were nothing alike and they would probably never have anything in common. Finn was the good kid, the one everyone liked. Merrick was the troublemaker, the one who had tried hard to get the good stuff…and now…now that was all gone. He’d never be able to get out from under his father’s shadow and he’d never be able to do what he wanted to in life.

The thought made his fist close, smashing the cigarette in his hand before he could even light it. There was too much seething anger beneath his exterior and Finn was pushing the buttons. “I’m in a bad mood and that automatically means it has to do with Quidditch?” Merrick questioned with venom in his voice. He didn’t want to be like this with Finn, but he was beyond controlling at that moment. His emotions were bleak; his whole outlook on life was cold and hateful. There was a moment of silence before he continued on, not even bothering to let Finn answer…it was a rhetorical question anyway. He already knew the answer to the question…knew that Finn was right, but that just made him angrier. If it had been anyone else to catch him in the middle of tormenting another student he would have welcomed them…loved to take out his aggression on an older student who could fight back, but he couldn’t do that with Finn, he meant so much more than that to him…it would be wrong.

Merrick sucked in a deep breath, his cool blue orbs coming to rest on Finn’s face. “Just because you could care less about playing Quidditch, doesn’t mean that we all do. Quidditch was my life Finn do you understand that? And they…” Merrick said as he pulled out the letter in his pocket and stalked over to Finn shoving it into his hands, “have confirmed that I can never play again. They told me they could fix me…made sure I could play again and they lied to me. You might not care, but I do. I have no other plan for my life…I spent seven, no eight, years here at Hogwarts with every intention of playing professionally and now that that is impossible I can’t handle it. So screw me for having a moment of uncontrollable anger.”

Snatching back the parchment from Finn he shoved it back in his pocket. All the details had been written in such a passive way, not really intended to be soothing in any way. It simply stated that Merrick’s brain could not tolerate another direct hit to the head. A Bludger would kill him…and that was far too dangerous an aspect to add to an already dangerous game. The teams he had lined up to audition with after he finished at Hogwarts had pulled out…none of them wanted the liability and that meant Merrick was to spend the rest of his life sitting on the side line, never getting to play again. Sure he’d already gotten the news once, last summer, but the specialists he’d been talking with had given him hope. They sounded so positive that they could help him, but in the end they had realized they couldn’t. So the little hope that Merrick had held on to evaporated with the first sentence on the parchment and everything that had been holding Merrick together for the last few months disintegrated along with it. Instead of breaking down and falling apart like he wanted, he was angry…his wrath spurring him on. Merrick balled his hand into a fist, crushing his entire pack of cigarettes before he chucked it at the wall, his whole form moving trying to force the anger and hatred from his body, but it merely dulled him to a partial numb as he stumbled, ending up with his back on the ground and his eyes staring up into the sky. He’d never lost control of himself like this before, especially in front of anyone. Form didn’t move to get up…he just kept lying there…the hard, icy dirt grounding him as he took a deep breath. Closing his eyes he sighed. “What am I supposed to do? Quidditch was my whole world and now…it’s gone forever.” The words were hardly a whisper as his arm moved across his face, covering it as he felt the silent tear slide down the corner of his eye and across his temple. He wouldn’t let Finn see him any weaker than he already had. He couldn’t…he just couldn’t control his emotions anymore. The pain was too overwhelming and it ate at him from every angle. He just wanted to die.

[Finn Miles H7]

Maybe Finn had been unfair in jumping to conclusions. Everyone had the right to have a bad day, to lose their temper on occasion, right? Perhaps, but it didn't mean that they had to react in the way that Merrick had. Everyone had the right to feel however they felt, but they didn't have the right to take it out on others, which seemed to be Merrick's first impulse. Still, Finn felt an overwhelming urge to drop his judgments, perhaps being a bit more sympathetic. Merrick was a friend after all, not just any random seventh year who had decided to cause some trouble in the courtyard. The frustration was palpable as Finn watched Merrick smash a cigarette between his fingers. It really was eye-opening to see Merrick act with such a temper, though not all that surprising.

"I never said that I could care less about..." he was cut off. Finn was trying to defend himself to Merrick, but then realized it wasn't what he needed to do. Merrick was obviously upset about this, and Finn just needed to be someone that Merrick could vent to.

"I do care." His words were lost in Merrick's storm.

It was hard, harder than Finn expected, seeing Merrick so obviously upset by this. And quite frankly, Finn didn't blame him. While he may not have been as enthusiastic or dedicated to the sport as Merrick was, Finn loved Quidditch. He would never want it to be fully taken away from him. It as definitely a big part of his life, though not exclusively his sole focus. And, while Merrick claimed that it was for him, Finn had to believe that there could be other things that Merrick valued. There had to be. Didn't there?

In a few seconds, Merrick was on the ground, seemingly incapacitated by his anger. And at first, Finn could only look on in confusion, feeling helpless and not knowing how to respond. But then, he crouched to the ground, kneeling next to the place where Merrick was laying. "You move on. One day at a time. One minute at a time. You take a deep breath, and that's one second that's passed. And then you do it again." So maybe it wasn't the best advice, but it was what Merrick needed to do. He needed to move on. He needed to find a way to put the pain and frustration behind him. Instinctively, Finn reached out, placing his hand on Merrick's arm. "And then... then you find something else."

[Merrick Marr]

Merrick wasn’t sure how Finn was going to react to his outburst, wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. Everything around Merrick seemed to be falling apart and he wouldn’t be surprised if the one he had come to rely on simply walked away. It took everything in Merrick just to keep his arm over his face and not to look at where Finn was or what he was doing. As angry as he was…as hopeless as he felt there was still something in him that was tucking at the strings of his heart. There was an ache there and for the first time Merrick truly wondered if that ache was over Quidditch or something far more primitive. He pushed the thought from his mind as he heard cloth move, knowing that Finn was finally moving…but not quite sure if that was good or bad until he heard the voice above him. The touch on his arm was what grounded Merrick completely as the words started to dig into that part of his brain that seemed to drop in IQ when he was angry.

The anger that had been slowly dying in Merrick flared to life at Finn. His head moving to look up at his friend…if that’s what he was. Jerking his arm away from him, Merrick rolled over coming up to stand in one fluid motion. A part of him didn’t want to be angry with Finn, but there was just too much pent up anger inside of Merrick to keep from lashing out at him. The world around Merrick was so cold and sometimes it was the same temperature as his own heart. His eyes narrowed at Finn as he shook his head. “No…you don’t get it Miles. There isn’t anything else. My whole existence was Quidditch. Everything I did was for Quidditch, every thought I had was about Quidditch…” until you came along, Merrick finished the last part to himself, his anger slowly melting away at the thought.

Taking a deep breath Merrick ran a hand over his face. “I’m not good at anything else. I don’t have any other talents. Quidditch was…” Merrick put up his hands desperate to get Finn to understand, but there weren’t any words to describe what Quidditch was to him. His head shook harder as he just stood there, letting the distance and silence stretch between them. Merrick finally sighed…he wasn’t going to go into deeper musing with Finn, but he couldn’t help himself. There was something about Finn that made Merrick feel comfortable…like an old friend you’ve come to cherish, or maybe more than that. Whatever it was Merrick couldn’t just walk away from him. He wanted…no needed him to understand him, to accept him…or rather see if he could accept him for everything that he was. “What would you do? The one career you’ve been wanting since you were three years old and could ride your first broom…how could you just walk away? How could you let all of that love and happiness that fills you when you play just die? It won’t die Finn. It’ll never die. No matter what I do, who I become…none of it will fill that whole in my heart. Nothing can.”