Something Important ((Stephen))

[Josephine Bowman S7]

((This post is continued from Professor Trelawney's class post))

The night didn’t seem to come quick enough for Josephine, her whole form scrunched up on a bench on the south side of Hogwarts as she waited for the moon to rise. The night was already all around her, settling down on her like a cold blanket. The howls of the Forbidden Forest greeted her ears and the soft wind rustled her clothes, though it didn’t bite into her skin like she expected it would. Whether that was due to her intense focus on watching the lake or the fact that she had forgotten what it was like to be cold it was anyone’s guess. The only thing that mattered at that late hour was the question she was going to ask. A sigh came from her lips, shoulders falling from the effort it took as her eyes finally caught the beginnings of the near full moon. The waning moon was still bright, illuminating the cold, snowy world around Josephine as her form pulled up from the bench, moving to the water before her.

She’d read about what she had to do in her book earlier…determined to not have to look at the book at all, she had memorized what she had needed to. Now, she bent down…feeling compelled to at least touch the water, to give it some understanding of who she was, as if that would give her better results, she sighed again. Delicate fingers touched the water, the ripples moving out softly as she ran her fingers through the surface of the water briefly before she pulled her wand out to melt some of the snow by the waters edge. Quietly she sat down in the now dry spot her eyes fixed on the water. She wasn’t sure how long she’d sat there quietly as she stared at the dark water. The only question she could ask passed through her mind, bringing with it guilt, frustration, and pain…her mind was too crowded all of a sudden, her concentration evaporating as she found herself weeping outside, all alone. This was not how the night was supposed to go.

“Why?” she said softly…pain and anger threatening to overtake her entire being as she looked out at the water, her hands shaking. “Why her? She would have done anything anyone ever asked of her…she was innocent, beautiful, caring…she basically raised me and my sister…she didn’t deserve to die, not like that. Why?” The last of her words were shouted across the cold desolate lake in a small voice…she felt like a child again, lost without her father. Tears brimmed her eyes as she shook with the force of her sobs as she watched the ripples begin as if cued by some raging tide. They pulled to and fro as they began to narrow and move, their direction unmistakable, as they seemed to point to her. It was like a stab to the heart as she watched them. “Me? This happened because of me?” Josephine didn’t want to wait for the answer, not knowing if one was even going to be found in the water as she pulled her form up from the ground.

This assignment was her undoing to say the least. If Josephine Bowman hadn’t been so adamant in her belief that Divination worked, maybe she would have seen the stick that had caused the ripples to lead toward her…maybe she would have been more skeptical of the ripples that were never quite clear enough to read by a mere 5th year on her first attempt. The truth was that Josephine had jumped the gun…her whole life coming to a crushing halt as she tore back into Hogwarts and down the staircase leading to the Slytherin Dormitory. She would write her paper…and it would consist of open-ended questions and obscure answers to an unnamed question…but in her heart she knew there was no obscured answer. She was to blame for her sister’s death; because she had not been able to find a cure quick enough…it was her fault. As she placed the last full-stop at the end of her last sentence a form stepped from the shadows of the corridor leading to the boy’s dormitory. Josephine’s eyes fell on him…like he was her savior. “I need to ask you something Stephen…something important.”

[Stephen Donahue S7]

Stephen wasn’t sure what time it was…didn’t really care. His mind was preoccupied with something far more important. He sat on his bed, the four-poster curtains drawn tightly around him blocking out the light from his wand from the other students in his dorm. There he sat with the latest letter from his mother. It was always important to him when she wrote to him. This letter was filled with the normal bull. ”I miss you Stephen. I love you. I don’t blame you.” Truth was if she didn’t blame him then she wouldn’t be keeping him from moving back home, but she was. ”Too many painful memories” she’d always written. It wasn’t until mid June last year that he had found out she’d sold the house and moved into a flat. The flat was located somewhere in London from what he understood, but like usual he didn’t really know what was going on with his mother. She was a wonderful person, a great mother, but after what happened between him and his father she had gotten distant. Stephen knew that someday she’d liven back up around him and when that happen Stephen’s heart just might start beating again, if that was even possible by this point.

A sigh escaped his lips as he tossed the letter onto his pillow, arms moving up and fingers entwining behind his head as he laid back, hazel orbs fastened on the four poster. How often had he laid in this bed just wishing for something to do, something to take his mind off of everything. Someone shouted his name and Stephen jumped, his father’s figure pulling back the curtains at the end of his bed. ”Get down men! They’re attacking us while we sleep! Grab your guns, your knives, anything! Watch out for the fire! Briggs! Briggs, get up! Damnit Briggs listen to me?! He’s dead Stephen! He’s dead! Next one…we’ll look at the next one!” the shouts were loud, as if he were talking over an air raid, but Stephen knew that was not what had destroyed his father’s mind and then later his life. It was the screams of the people in the embassy that had been bombed. It was the only thing he knew for sure…other than the fact that his father had tried hard to rescue as many soldiers as possible.

The shouting didn’t seem to subside and Stephen growled as he glared at the figure. How the hell he’d ended up seeing this crazy apparition he didn’t know, but it was certain…Stephen didn’t want it. The shouts just got louder and louder until Stephen couldn’t stand to lie there any longer. “Fine! I’m up!” he growled loudly at it not even caring if anyone else in his dorm heard. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d heard him shout out at some invisible figure. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a black long sleeved shirt he headed out of the dormitory and up to the Common Room. The voice of his father wasn’t fading or getting louder at this point. It was just constant, always beside him, always shouting at him. Sometimes it was in Arabic and other times in English. Sometimes he was one of the men, other times he was the enemy. It was just a constant switch back and forth. It was driving him crazy…the term was almost laughable as he realized he’d already been considered insane.

As feet stepped into the soft glowing light of the Common Room, a figure came into view. He recognized her…knew she was one of Fox’s friends…Jo, or something of the sort. He didn’t care much for remembering names anymore, everyone was just a face to him…a face that may or may not be real in his world. It wasn’t until her voice filtered through the shouts from his father that he actually took interest in her. A brow quirked up in question as he waved a hand at the figure shouting in his ear, the voice quieting just enough so he could hear her. “A question for me? And you are? Wait no let me guess…some self-centered little girl that wants to find out what it’s like in prison? Well let me give you a newsflash I don’t deal with people like you. Just leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone. Got it?” he growled as he moved to turn back to his dormitory, thinking his father’s shouts might be better than her questions.

”Wait! That’s not what I want!” her voice was desperate, calling out to him in a way that made Stephen stop. He couldn’t help himself. There was something heartbreaking in her tone and Stephen half wondered if there was something wrong with her…if maybe he really could help her (what a joke, Stephen couldn’t even help himself), but it was more than obvious he couldn’t. As his hazel orbs turned back around to look at her, the obvious sorrow was written deep in the lines of her face. His arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall.

“I’m listening,” Stephen said shortly.

[Josephine Bowman S7]

Josephine pulled her body up from where she was sitting, her blue orbs watching Stephen. She could tell he wasn’t in the mood for her to beat around the bush. In fact she noticed he wasn’t in the mood for much of anything. Her eyes strayed to his side when his hand waved away something that wasn’t there. She was shaking, visibly bare to the soul it seemed. Her whole world had changed so quickly that it was difficult for her to really understand it or comprehend it. Her sister was dead, it was her fault, and her mother was spending more of her time at work than ever before, or at least she assumed by the fact that she never responded to her owls.

Suddenly Josephine was nervous…she didn’t know what to say…didn’t know if she could really ask what she wanted to ask him. How far was she going to forget? Was this what she wanted? Did she really want to live forever in this memory? A part of her already knew the answer. She didn’t want to completely forget what had happened, didn’t want to forget her sister, but at the same time she knew she couldn’t live in this constant state of reality. There was no way to bring her sister back and that thought hurt her more than anything else possibly could. She felt the pang in her heart and she had to fight back the tears as she stood there looking at him. Her feet moved slowly, needing to get closer so she wouldn’t have to say so much so loud. She just wanted to keep her head on straight…and she knew Stephen could help her with that.

Closing her eyes, a tear slid down the length of her face before she finally took a deep breath and found his eyes. “I hear…well people talk. They say you have connections…can numb the mind…” she said in a soft voice, not really sure how to ask for what she wanted, not sure if he’d give it to her. She could tell by the way he watched her that she needed to explain more, that this brooding man before her didn’t understand what she wanted and if he did then he was playing her. He had a reputation for being creepy and silent…now she was really getting the full influence of what that reputation was. There wasn’t a response from him…nothing that could really show in his face if he was willing to help her or not.

Opening her mouth to speak, the words faltered…she had to look away from him, couldn’t see his face or his eyes. “I need something to help me stop thinking about what I did. I need something to keep me occupied and to make everything numb. They say you can get it something, anything to help. That’s what I want…can you help me?” Josephine’s words came out in a rush as her head dropped, her eyes glued to the floor. She was far more nervous than she would have liked to be. She was supposed to be strong, not weak like this, but that didn’t seem to matter anymore. All she wanted was to forget…to numb the pain that was killing her slowly.

“Why?” Stephen muttered as he watched her.

“Why what?” she responded her eyes slowly coming up to find his.

“Why do you want them?”

“I told you…to forget.”

”I want the real reason Bowman. I won’t give you anything until I know why you’re so bound and determined to forget.”

Josephine couldn’t believe what she as hearing. Why did he want to know? He wasn’t supposed to care about why she wanted the drugs. He should just get them for her. She shook her head, looking at him in an appalled way. There was no way she was going to tell him what she needed it for. Absolutely no way in hell.

“Forget this crap…I don’t need to tell you anything! Aren’t you just supposed to give me whatever I want and all that? Why do you even care to know?” she growled as she wrapped her coat around her shoulders, to try to protect herself in a way that she physically couldn’t with that coat.

”Because I need to know what it’s worth to you so you can pay me for it and based on your reactions I’d say it’s worth a hell of a lot more to you than just about anything you can offer me.”

Josephine hadn’t realized the trap she was walking into and she found her heart pounding erratically against her chest. It was loud and she could have sworn that he could hear it too. Her lips parted to respond, but all she could do was stand there with her mouth open. She had walked right into it…fell for the oldest trick in the book and now she was going to have to owe Stephen Donahue more than she could possibly imagine. A part of her was fearful of what he was going to ask her for…she had money, but nothing she could give him, not enough anyway. She had jewelry, but what would he want with that. How could she pay him? There was no way…now that he knew how much she needed it…he would ask an outrageous price and she’d never be able to pay it. All hope seemed to fade from her at that moment as her shoulders dropped, defeat washing over her. “What do you want?”