From Love to Hate and Hate to Love ((Scott&Oscar))

[Theo Darke]

((This PG-13 thread contains homosexual content. Please read at your own discretion.))


Jubilant. Theo didn't like the word much, but it was the best description he could come up with. That was how he felt right now: jubilant. His pearly white teeth were cracked into a wide smile as he stood by his parents and siblings on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, three trunks by their family of five's feet, along with Luna sleeping soundly in her cage. Theo watched with intent, bright blue eyes as he scanned the crowds of fellow Hogwarts students with their parents and luggage, recognising most familiar faces, and noted a few as new first years whom, as prefect, he would be taking care of sometime during and after the train ride back to Hogwarts. No doubt two of those he would be chaperoning along with Celia, Elaine, Adriahna and Edgar would be his brother and sister; Callum and Brittany had been extremely excited all week, and this morning, their exhileration had culminated in Callum almost shoving his twin down the stairs and onto an innocent, by-standing Theo. After that, both children had calmed down, but even now as they all stood on the platform looking up at the Hogwarts Express in awe, Theo could detect the same twinkle of thrill in their similar blue eyes. No doubt they would be sorted into Ravenclaw like all the Darkes before them, and probably create the most havoc out of all the ancestor Darkes too. Theo lifted his eyes from his siblings as his parents began to hug them farewell for another term. His stare returned to trafficking around for a familiar cascade of chocolate-brown hair - the reason for his jubilant mood - but since he found none, he turned to also wish his parents goodbye.

"You keep an eye on them," Yvonne smiled proudly as Wesley clapped their eldest son on the back. Theo nodded his assent, and kissing his mother on the cheek, he headed for one of the doors with his trunk, following Callum and Brittany. Theo's appearance, reflected in the shiny exterior of the train, had not changed much since school had ended. His hair had been chopped slightly shorter over the holidays, and he had grown an inch, now standing at the taller height of 5'8". Not as tall as Oscar though, he had reminded himself in amusement after measuring himself. He currently wore muggle clothing, as did Callum and Brittany and most other students. Flashing past his reflection, Theo eyed his appearance for a second, then with his free hand shifted his fringe away from his face and smiled. It took Theo a while to make sure his brother and sister had found a compartment and were looking after themselves (well, both Darkes had decided to take on a new, very shy little boy sitting on his own, and they were looking after him, so obviously they were going to be fine, Theo chuckled to himself), and then he headed to the prefect carriage. Ten minutes later the train was moving and Theo was changed into his robes. The only reason he had been wearing muggle clothing in the first place was so that he passed through King's Cross unnoticed by muggles. Feeling more at home in his robes, Theo listened as Mary Evans and Charles Driscoll began the meeting. He hadn't seen Oscar yet, he pondered throughout the new Head Boy and Head Girl's instructions, but he had seen Scott slip in on the other side and planned to speak to him. Oscar would have to wait.

Finally the talk was over and the prefects disbanded. Theo left the carriage and waited for Scott to come past. He wasn't looking forward to the conversation, but eventually they'd have to talk, and Theo couldn't escape now; that would be rude. When Scott finally appeared, Theo gave a silent wave of greeting and smiled. He felt odd, having to speak to Scott again, now that he was dating Lori. But over his time at Llanrhystud, he had somehow adapted to the Gryffindor's presence again. He wasn't completely comfortable with him, because Theo knew he still harboured some sort of feeling for Scott, but he was determined he wouldn't let that get to him and ruin his friendship with Scott and Lori, and his best friends' romance. That and since he was with Oscar... Theo didn't care so much about Scott's relationship with Lori any more. Or that was what he thought, anyway. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part, Theo wondered in fear as he watched Scott approach. He could make out the taller boy's every defining feature, felt his heart thump in worry, and wished he didn't have to be such an idiot around Scott. Scott was straight; Scott was dating Lori, his best friend; and most of all, Theo had a boyfriend now! A secret one, but a boyfriend, nonetheless. He had to take his mind off Scott and combat his feelings for him. "Hi," Theo greeted as the Gryffindor finally neared him enough for speech to be heard. "How are you doing, Scott?" He smiled, on the outside relaxed enough. But Theo could sense himself tensing already. OK, he had to make this conversation short. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all... "Lori would have been with me but there wasn't enough room since my brother and sister are starting this year--"

Theo was interrupted as some prefects filed past him in the narrow corridor. Grimacing, Theo mouthed an apology and quickly slipped into the nearest compartment, which was luckily empty - and Scott followed him. It wasn't only until the whole of the prefect parade had slipped past that Theo noticed he had just gone and made the situation worse. Now he and Scott probably had to share a compartment. Until Lori came along and... oh dear. Theo didn't want to spend time with both of them - that was even worse than with one of them! Resisting a frown, Theo looked to Scott again and lamely concluded, "Well, as I was saying, Lori will find us soon enough. We got separated, that's why she's not with me." An awkward silence filled the space, until Theo, unwilling to sit down and acknowledge the fact that he would be stuck here with Scott, and hoping someone would save him from this umcomfortable situation, began again. "So, did you enjoy Llanrhystud, Scott?" he asked absently, fiddling with his jacket sleeve. "I thought the classes were great." His eyes wandered to Scott's shoulder, remembering every inch of brown hair sticking out from behind... brown hair like Oscar's. Theo shook his head to himself. Where was Oscar? He wanted to find Oscar. Thinking about Oscar made Theo's heart soar. He had spent a lot of the summer pining to see his boyfriend again, and he couldn't believe instead he was with Scott. Scott who undeniably he was attracted to. Scott who was the boyfriend of Lori, his best friend. "It's a shame we didn't get a chance to talk much," Theo's mouth continued to speak automatically. "But you and Lori are so cute together." Lies. Lies lies lies.

[Scott Ryder G7]

An unusual sort of feeling came over Scott as he neared the platform from which he would board the Hogwarts Express, making the journey for the sixth time to start a new year at Hogwarts. Six years down, one more to go. Normally Scott felt less anxious about starting a new year of school, his thoughts often centered on the simple fact that he'd miss his family. But today his mind was in a million other places. His family... Lori... and Theo seemed to be the main things on his mind. Something still wasn't right between himself and his two new friends. Ever since he and Lori became an official couple, things were different... weird, perhaps. Scott really didn't like it, but had no idea how to fix it. Scott loved being with Lori. She was so much fun, always cheerful, and she always seemed to make Scott happy. But then there was Theo. Theo was different lately. Scott didn't dislike him for it, but it was obvious that he was different, even if nobody mentioned it.

Handing out his final goodbye hugs, Scott smiled half-heartedly as he waved to his parents and Evelyn while he and Flick boarded the train. It was off to the prefects carriage for him after donning his robes and getting everything else settled for the trip. When all of the prefects were gathered, Scott's eyes instinctively went toward where Theo was sitting. He was careful though not to catch Theo's eye from across the small space where they all gathered as Charlie and Mary gave the routine speech to welcome the new prefects and assign them to their duties for the trip. Once the meeting was over though, Scott found that Theo seemed to be waiting for a quick hello. He approached, hoping it wouldn't be weird. After all, Scott enjoyed his friendship with Theo, and he didn't want things to change just because of his relationship with Lori.

"Hey," he said, holding out his hand for a quick handshake, unsure if a hug was appropriate. He flashed a quick grin and then stepped to the side as the rest of the prefects seemed eager to disperse on their separate ways. "Doing alright," he said, a small sigh escaping his mouth as he started to feel less anxious about seeing Theo again and wondering how things might be after the summer holiday. Sure enough, the topic of conversation quickly shifted to Lori. "Yeah, I'm sure she'll be around soon," he said, a soft smile gracing his lips. "How are they liking it so far?" he asked, wondering if Theo was pleased or not that his siblings would be attending Hogwarts this year. Scott remembered being ecstatic whenever Flick was able to come with him during his second year. Then again, Scott didn't have the friends back then like Theo had now. For Scott, having his sibling with him was an end to feeling so alone during his early years. Surely Theo was probably a bit apathetic to whether or not his brother and sister were there. They'd probably be just as much hassle as they would be enjoyment.

"Llanrhystud was okay," he said with a shrug. "Not exactly my sort of thing, ye know?" Scott did like to do some sorts of things that were considered artistic. Though, the lessons at Llanrhstud weren't exactly what he was interested in. Still, the trip was fun, and he did get to see Lori for the duration, which made it well worth it, despite his slight lack of interest in the classes. "I'm sure you had a great time though, right?" he questioned. Ironically, it was at Llanrhstud that Scott really started to notice Theo acting a bit different. Even Lori seemed to notice it, but Scott didn't want to push the issue. After commenting on the fact that they hadn't talked much, Scott was in the middle of nodding his head in agreement when Theo mentioned that Scott and Lori made such a cute couple. This caught Scott a bit off guard, and so he gave a quick laugh. "Yeah, we do... don't we?" he said, quite unsure of how to respond to that comment.

Scott looked down at his hands which were stuff in the pockets of his robes. He and Theo were alone now in the compartment, which made it a bit more awkward. It shouldn't have been awkward, or at least Scott wouldn't have found it awkward before, but something invisible that surrounded them made it awkward now. Scott didn't like the awkward feelings. They reminded him of how he used to feel in social situations; before he had become such good friends with Lori and Theo.

Trying not to continue bringing up the topic of Lori, Scott wondered what else they could talk about. Quidditch! That would work. "How's Ravenclaw looking for Quidditch this year?" he asked. "Got many spots that need filled?" Scott wondered about his own team then, remembering that he'd be helping Cass to select the new team-members for Gryffindor now that he was vice-captain. "Any potential in your siblings playing? I might just have to have the sorting hat send them my way to Gryffindor," he joked, hoping that the light-heartedness of his comments might ease the palpable awkwardness.

[Theo Darke]

Theo hesitated for a second. Then he took Scott's outstretched hand with a warm smile... albeit staring at his friend's arm as though it was an alien object and intently avoiding Scott's eyes. A handshake; was that suitable between friends? Theo didn't know any more... He couldn't tell. He was such a sociably-bred individual, and yet with Scott, he felt the lines too blurred for his mind to understand which side he stood on - friend, family, something more... Scott was meant to be a friend; he wasn't like a brother or cousin to Theo. So did normal boys shake their friend's hand greeting? Theo's other male mates certainly didn't. He and August or Dylan didn't approach each other with a handshake. "Now I'm over-analysing, aren't I?" Theo chided himself, and continued to smile at Scott as though nothing was wrong, even though he was still adamant on avoiding eye contact. Theo could admit that a hug between him and Scott would have been inappropriate, since Theo was gay and all, and yeah, he didn't hug his male friends, but still... the handshake had thrown him; disturbed him. It reminded him of his unresolved feelings hidden not as deeply as he had hoped. It reminded him of the distance that continued to grow between Scott and him. It would have been better if Scott hadn't done anything at all. Theo was highly sensitive to everything the Gryffindor did.

He yearned to let Scott's hand go, but at the same time he was also desperate to cling onto the other boy; seek the comfort he could easily have found in Oscar - could take from Oscar by just reaching up and brushing his lips ever so gently against them (when they were alone, anyway). But with Scott, there were boundaries - thick, impenetrable walls that separated them. Theo resisted his desires and pulled his hand away after a few seconds - not too quickly that it would appear rude, but not long enough for him to remember what Scott's hand felt like against his own - and let his smile linger forcibly on his lips. Theo couldn't believe himself; yesterday night he had been longing to see and touch and kiss Oscar again - his boyfriend, his beloved boyfriend whom he hadn't had the chance to talk to (besides letters) or kiss since that fateful night at Llanrhystud. The thought had made him deliriously happy - more so than knowing Brittany and Callum would be finally joining him at Hogwarts. Now, thoughts of being with Oscar, mentally and emotionally and physically, seemed so far away... That night seemed so long ago, the night they had decided to be together. It had made Theo so excited and nervous and ecstatic, remembering it. But now, Scott stood before him, just like he had last year, with his crop of dark hair, shorter than Oscar's yet still similar, and Theo wondered how his hair would feel like in his fingertips - softer or coarser than Oscar's? That paler skin - would it be as smooth, or would it be rougher, against his tongue?

Theo bet Lori could tell him. Lori, Scott's girlfriend. Lori, whom they were talking about, seemingly the only thing they had in common any more, the only similar topic of conversation between them. He wondered how far the two of them had gone, and realised he couldn't bring himself to think about it. Somehow, this Scott Ryder had wormed his way into Theo's unconscious thoughts and buried himself there, demanding attention and desire. Theo had barely even realised until the end of last year, and over the summer he thought he'd gotten over it - especially with the help of Oscar and his lips and his touch and his kisses. But evidently not. Without Oscar, without reason, Scott was the only thing that mattered before Theo's emotional eyes. "Damnit," he cursed inwardly. "Damnit. Where's Oscar?" Theo smiled, somewhat genuinely, at the mention of his siblings. "Loving it, of course. They've been waiting since the day I arrived, and now it's finally their turn. They've been running around the house, knocking things - and us, and each other! - about all over the place. That's excited kids for you." His smile filled with warmth and love and affection; the one thing his feelings for Scott and Oscar and Lori would never affect was his love for his family, especially Brittany and Callum. They were, in a way, his protegees, little versions of himself that he cherished like his own children. They were primarily his brother and sister, but Theo sometimes felt fatherly towards them, especially Callum.

"Yeah." Theo gave a short nod. He didn't think Scott would've appreciated the Llanrhystud trip as much as him. In all honesty, none of them - him, Scott, Lori, Oscar or even Dylan - were especially arty. But of course, none of them would've been excluded from their friendship group. Or rather, they were all attached to Theo in some way or another, rather than each other. Lori was Theo's childhood best friend; Scott her boyfriend and his supposed good friend whom he had no feelings for. Dylan was the friend he could confess the ultimate truths to, and Oscar was his boyfriend. That last thought still caused Theo to quirk his lips into a fond smile. If only the Gryffindor was here now to rescue him from his awkward situation... "Yeah. Oh yeah, I loved it." Theo snapped out of his memories, only to again alight on his and Oscar's budding relationship. It was at Llanrhystud he and his boyfriend had gotten together; how could he not have had an amazing time? He couldn't stop the bright grin from properly penetrating his almost forced smile from before. Theo even managed an amused laugh at Scott's rhetorical question - well, he supposed it was a rhetorical question. "Of course you are, Scott. You two are so lovey-dovey..." Theo gave a small smile and stepped forward, clapping a hand on Scott's shoulder in a sudden move of boldness and lack of thought. "I wish you and Lori the best of luck... But I won't be happy if you hurt her." He sent Scott a mock warning glare, a wry, sad smile lingering at his lips.

Theo stepped back again quickly when he realised he was probably intruding on Scott's personal space - that and he felt so conscious of himself with his hand on Scott's shoulder. He let it fall to his side and again smiled in a forced manner. "We're looking all right, I think. Celia's going to be Captain this year, now that Jazz has left, and Elaine, I'm guessing, will be her Vice. I think it makes sense, and I'm happy for her. I'm sure, though, the two of them will make us great. Be forewarned - Ravenclaw are going to snatch that cup from your hands this year," Theo teased, then chuckled. "So who's your new Vice? Brit and Callum are destined to be Ravenclaws like the rest of us, so good luck with that. Yeah, Callum especially is really into Quidditch, courtesy of my dad. His encouragement did more favours for him than it did me. I have to blame you for making me love Quidditch. It's all your fault." Theo was only joking, but he felt some heavy seriousness behind his facade in his last words. He wasn't blaming Scott for the feelings he evoked within him - it wasn't his fault Theo's heart beat faster around him, or that he felt the desire to become closer to him. Theo didn't want that, and Scott had never asked for it. It was no one's fault, but Theo still felt somewhat bitter against Scott - and Lori too, now that she was dating him. He hated it all.

"Look, Scott..." Theo sighed loudly and took a step closer again, inclining his eyes to look up at Scott's at last, blue versus blue. He didn't avert his intense gaze, or blush, or almost falter. He didn't know what he wanted to say, but he knew he needed to say something. Something to do with the fact he was going out with Oscar? That he had a boyfriend? A guy Scott was in the same house in, shared the same dorm and Quidditch team? How would he react? Would he be pleased? Surprised? Jealous? No, not that, no way. Scott didn't feel that way, Theo had to remind himself. Why was he thinking of such a ridiculous thing?! "I... Well..." Theo noticed as he gazed up at Scott he was slightly shorter than Oscar, but he was still pretty tall. His eyes, on the other hand, were so very different to Oscar's warm, brown ones. "I have to tell you something... Both you and Lori something..." Could Theo really tell Scott? He was one of his closest friends, the boyfirend to his best friend, and Theo trusted him very much. But he also had feelings for him - dangerous ones. And he had told Oscar they'd keep their relationship a secret. But Oscar wouldn't mind, right? He knew how close he and Lori and Scott were. They wouldn't tell anyone... would they? Theo was just trying to come to a decision, the fact his body and face were extremely close to Scott's having not registered in his mind, too transfixed at staring up at Scott and finding how to phrase his confession, when the door to the compartment opened.

Theo's head immediately turned to the interrupting individual, feeling some annoyance well up in his chest, as well as fear. His eyes widened, however, when they met a very dark, intense pair of brown eyes. Oscar. "O--" Theo began, then realised how close he and Scott were. Immediately he stepped back in alarm, his hand brushing Scott's in its wake and tingling. No, Oscar wouldn't get the wrong impression... He wouldn't have any idea he liked Scott in that way, before he had liked Oscar. "Um, Oscar, gosh, there you are. I was looking for you." He approached his boyfriend and smiled tightly, moving away certainly from Scott as though he didn't have any physical urge to be near him. It pained Theo to leave Scott, but it elated him to be closer to Oscar - there would not be a middle way. Theo yearned to take Oscar's hand but refrained from doing so. He had wanted his protector to arrive, but not now. Not yet.

[Oscar Flynn G7]

Oscar stood at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, numb. His mind was a haze of confusion, his thoughts being thrown around his head in all directions. He was coming up with ridiculous, paranoid answers to perfectly simple questions. Why was that witch staring at him? What was making that man’s eyes so shifty and odd-looking as he walked past Oscar? Why had that man charged Oscar a little less than average for the taxi into the centre of London? In truth and to the rest of the world, the witch was staring at Oscar because he was staring at her. This situation is one which many people experience on a daily basis; you glance at someone, they just happen to glance at you in the same second. Before you know it you’re watching, then staring at them because they , in turn, are now watching and staring at you- because you’re staring at them! A vicious circle, and one that Oscar was currently spinning around in. As for the other questions; the man with shifty eyes actually had Strabismus, and the taxi-driver wasn’t dodgy, just in a generous mood, the sight of Oscar with Herra affectionately nipping his earlobes amusing him. But Oscar saw none of this. He was irritated, angry, and above all, suspicious of almost everything. It wasn’t really in his nature to be very paranoid. But right now he felt insecure and unsure of his actions. As though everything wrong was his fault, and the moment he did make a mistake, everyone would know about it.

So he stood and watched the scenes before him apprehensively. Adorable little first years (they were so tiny!) drifting reluctantly, yet with wide-eyed excitement, from their parents and onto the Hogwarts Express. Oscar remembered with a smile the first time he had boarded the train and wished that he could feel such innocence and pure happiness again. Now… now things had shocked Oscar’s former cheerful, fun lifestyle and thrown him into an abyss of confusion and uncertainty, of which he could not escape. A few deep breaths helped to dispel any oncoming paranoia while the Gryffindor’s deep brown eyes searched the crowds. He ignored the calls of some of his friends as he scanned heads and looked intently into faces. Oscar just wanted to find who he was looking for. That small yet perfectly athletic body, a tiny head of golden-blonde hair, those pale blue eyes; everything that made up Theo. Oscar’s boyfriend. That was who he wanted to see in the crowd now. He didn’t have the energy to tell everyone else about his holiday, about the health of his parents, about how his Quidditch had improved over the weeks away, about all of the other unimportant crap in his life. About Thandi.

Oh, god. Oscar’s heart ached beneath his layers of warm clothing. He blinked a few times as if reacting from a slap in the face. His little sister, Thandiwe. So perfect, so adorable, so trusting; until recently. Until Oscar had tried his best to explain Hogwarts and magic to her. His hesitated tone blurting out the muddled and messed-up words, and her wide brown eyes darkening with each syllable. She hadn’t doubted for a moment that what he was saying wasn’t true. Oscar himself had been the exact opposite when he’d first found out that magic was real; he’d questioned it all until there was no choice but to believe it, his relentless need to find the core answer finally coming to the conclusion. There was none of that for Thandi. She had merely turned and disappeared into her bedroom without a word. Oscar would have followed her in desperation had his mother not placed a heavy hand on his arm, stopping him with sad eyes. ‘She will come around.’ Heather had told her son. But Oscar had heard the doubt in her tone, heard how she didn’t believe even her own words.

The view before Oscar blurred for a moment as he pictured Thandi’s face in his mind, by no choice of his own. Her massive eyes- once they had looked at Oscar with love, devotion and admiration. But the glance she parted with had been entirely different. Then he had seen the fear. How? How was it possible that a small girl as young as Thandi could be so frightened of something as beautiful as magic? Oscar couldn’t understand it. For him, magic was beauty and beauty was magic. He truly hadn’t witnessed anything so spectacular; even now, six years on from his initiation into the world of wizards and witches, he marvelled at magic. Quidditch, in itself a magical form, and Transfiguration; two subject he took in school that made his heart thump almost as hard as it did when he kissed Theo.

Theo. Oscar’s mind snapped back to the world and he swayed for a moment, getting jostled by those around him. He had to see Theo now. Shaking his head like a dog from a bath, Oscar seized his bags and headed towards the door of the train compartment. In a few moments he was in, throwing his bags in Elsie’s compartment. He couldn’t take them around the compartments with him when looking for his boyfriend and knew Elsie would see them safely to the castle if he didn’t collect them at the end of the journey. For a moment he lingered in her compartment, ignoring her slightly juvenile friends while they tittered as a result of the sixth year’s attentions on their quirky companion. Oscar swapped a few words with her before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, a brotherly hug, and then he was off.

He travelled the compartments as a casually as his mind would allow, he thought back to that morning. Thandi had not emerged from her room and Oscar had struggled with the need to have a goodbye from her and his mother’s wishes to give her time. What could he have done if the door to her room had opened? Apologised? He would not do that. Oscar was a wizard, not something to be ashamed of. Well then, what would he have said? Perhaps he could have coaxed her into seeing the side of magic he loved… but even as he thought that, Oscar knew it would not have worked. The fright in Thandi’s eyes had been certain and instant, and not a silly fear of a young girl. And it was his fault. He blamed himself completely- no, he wouldn’t feel ashamed. But he took the blame upon his shoulders like a weight, dragging him to the floor. His words had taken the joy and innocence from his sister’s eyes. His sentences alone had captured everything that made Thandi, locking it in a cage from which it couldn’t break free. Although he would not apologise, he knew that he alone was responsible for her fear. The joy and laughter he could share with her before were now out of reach until further notice. And it was his fault.

Theo, where the f**k are yo- The thought snarled into Oscar’s head. He cut it off as a flash of blonde appeared in the corner of his eye. Beside it, a darker mop of hair. The door of the compartment Theo was inside was closing slowly behind him, and Oscar could only just make out a movement before it shut completely. A hand reaching out, firmly grasping the boy-that-wasn’t-Theo’s shoulder. Oscar’s control broke and he leant back against the wall behind him heavily. The sharp movement hurt his shoulder and he winced slightly, grimacing. He couldn’t handle another person. He wanted Theo Darke to himself right now. He wanted his boyfriend to hold him tightly and kiss away any uncertainties, to tell him that Thandi would come round with more truth in the words than in the ones his mother had spoken. He wanted, for once, to be the boy that was looked-after. He wanted to let his guard down and allow Theo, and Theo only, to slip inside to comfort him. But with someone else in the compartment that couldn’t happen. Who was it, anyway?

In a moment he was by the door. In another, he had pushed it open with a little more force than he had intended for. It swung hard and slammed against the wall beside it with a loud noise that made Oscar jump, despite he having caused it. Earlier, the answers to his questions had been quite implausible and unreasonable. But the question on the identity of Theo’s companion had a simple, one worded answer. Scott. Alright, that would be fine. Scott was a good guy. Oscar liked him, and although the two had never shared much in the way of great friendship, he recognised and respected the other Gryffindor. Scott was also a brilliant Quidditch player- something which gave him extra brownie points in Oscar’s books. But there was a bit about the way the other Gryffindor stood so close to Oscar’s boyfriend that pissed Oscar off. What was Scott playing at? Didn’t he know Theo was ta- No. Of course he didn’t. Oscar almost scowled at this, wishing the relationship wasn’t a secret.

“Scott.” The silence that had followed Oscar’s entrance had been broken by Theo, but with what words Oscar couldn’t tell. He spoke without venom in his tone, although he longed to shout obscenities in his anger and confusion. He nodded in greeting but didn’t offer his hand like he probably should have done. All he knew was Scott and the proximity between him and Oscar’s boyfriend- now broken by a hasty step backwards from the latter. Why had Theo stepped back so quick? What was Scott doing!? There was hesitance and something tense, something odd, in Theo’s expression. Oscar resisted the urge to growl like the Gryffindor lion he was. His eyes didn’t move, locked on Scott’s face. The door finally swung shut behind him with another bang but this time he didn’t start. Theo was closer to him now and for a moment, Oscar’s harsh and appraising gaze seemed to waver. If there was anyone that could break through his walls it was Theo. But surely not here, not in front of the other Gryffindor. For now Oscar stayed confident. His presence was obvious. Lifting his chin he spoke gently, once again his tone not mirroring the emotions in his eyes that he couldn’t hide.
“What were you to talking about? Anything interesting?” His eyes snapped to Theo’s and he inhaled quickly, sharply. He hadn’t seen Theo in too long. Instead of making him weak however, he saw Theo’s beauty and was angered further. Now, in his mind, he could see Scott trying to steal that beauty. Through his paranoid haze he knew he couldn’t let that happen; his eyes flicked back to Scott’s after a moment of pause.

[Scott Ryder G7]

Lovey-dovey? Theo’s choice of words caught Scott off guard almost a much as when he seemed to instantly be right in Scott’s face, his hand on Scott’s shoulder. Confusion rushed through Scott in many ways and for many reasons. Best of luck? Won’t be happy if you hurt her? What exactly was Theo trying to say or hint at? Was he really happy for them? Was he threatening Scott? Everything seemed to confuse Scott more and more, and it didn’t help that his heart was now beating faster than normal, for reasons Scott was quite unsure of. Perhaps it was fear. Perhaps it was confusion. Scott hadn’t a clue as he starred into Theo’s eyes, searching for some sort of answer.

Theo quickly stepped back though, addressing the topic of Quidditch. Part of Scott wished he hadn’t though, wondering what Theo was really thinking. Whatever it was, Theo was damned good at keeping it hidden, wrapped up inside of him such that Scott had no clue what was real and what was not. Like a tornado of thoughts and emotions surrounded him, Scott took a few seconds to come back to the present thought of Quidditch. Even then, it was hard for him to fully concentrate on what Theo was saying.

“Oh… um, I’m the new vice,” Scott said, a soft grin graced his lips, his humility preventing it from turning into a wide smile. Scott was more than happy to be vice captain, but wasn’t one to boast of his accomplishments. Deep down though, he knew Theo would be proud of him, or at least he hoped he would be. Scott couldn’t help but wonder if Theo was jealous though; jealous of Scott and Lori. No… surely not. Scott forced a laugh. “My fault? You have more of a natural affinity than you think.” Scott thought back to the match last year when he played against Theo. He thought about their private practices and wished things could go back to like they were at that time; less confusing, less overwhelming. Simple. Was it ever really simple?

Scott thoughts were again interrupted as Theo moved toward him again, that look of seriousness taking over every feature of his face. Another wave of confusion. Theo started to speak, nothing that was really comprehensible. Scott took a deep breath, wishing that Theo would just tell him what he was thinking. It was getting frustrated. If it was something Theo needed to tell him and Lori, then it must’ve been important. Then again, what could it possibly be. Did Theo feel that Scott was stealing Lori? Did he want Scott to back down? Scott wouldn’t do that. It wasn’t right of Theo to ask that if it was what he wanted.

“Theo, just tell me if…” Scott started, but the sound of someone entering caused him to stop mid-sentence. Both he and Theo averted their attention to the newcomer; Scott recognized him. It was Oscar. He and Oscar had shared a room for the past five years. Scott had nothing against Oscar, but wished that he might have just been able to hear what Theo wanted to say. Scott was tired of wondering what his friend was thinking and holding back.

“Hey Oscar,” Scott said, the slight bit of annoyance evident in his voice. He couldn’t help but notice Theo acting even more unusual, and it just added to the questions of why Theo was so different lately. “We were just discussing Quidditch and… and not much more.” Scott glanced at Theo, and then let out a sigh. “I should probably be going. Prefect duties,” he explained. Scott didn’t want to end the conversation he and Theo were having, but obviously the train ride wasn’t the most ideal place for them to talk about whatever it was that Theo needed to say. With so many students coming in and out, Oscars presence made it obvious that Theo and Scott would have a difficult time trying to have a private conversation.

“See you both around,” Scott said, another forced grin as he walked past Theo and Oscar and out of the compartment.

[Theo Darke]

"No way!" A genuine grin blossomed on Theo's face, but it faded a little as he restrained himself from hugging Scott out of delight. He was so happy for him, but he couldn't even show it properly because of his secrets and lies and fears. What was becoming of Theo Darke? "You're changing," a small voice hissed in the back of his mind. "Well done, mate." Theo had to force his congratulatory words and ignore the building anxiety in his mind. Changing? Theo wasn't changing. He was the same as ever, right? The same Ravenclaw boy, with Lori as his best friend. But no - even that was changing. Lori had Scott now, and she wouldn't need Theo as much any more. And Theo was now dating Oscar, not because he'd wanted to exact any sort of revenge on her and Scott, but because he liked Oscar, and he was sure Oscar, the previously straight boy, liked him too. Those kisses were more than evidence to suggest this. Things between Lori and Theo had changed now, and he wondered if they'd ever be the same. When would be confess to Lori about Oscar? He never wanted to tell her; it was his little secret. Oscar was all his! His! But another part of Theo's ached to tell his best friend, wanted her to be happy for him - truly, in the way he should've been for her when she'd announced she was dating Scott. "Will she be happy for me?" Theo wondered sadly.

Theo shook his head humbly and gave a wry smile when Scott stated he had flying affinity. "It runs in the family, but affinity wasn't why I suddenly changed my mind. If it was affinity I would've been a fan of Quidditch a long time ago. My dad thinks you've worked a miracle on me." OK, that was enough. Theo shouldn't - couldn't - say any more. He couldn't give his true feelings for Scott away. Not now... and not ever. Scott was lost forever. "It was more than affinity. You changed me," Theo concluded softly, but said no more. He couldn't, otherwise he might begin to cry, and when was the last time Theo had cried? He was gay, but he wasn't the typical gay man. He wasn't as sensitive as other people supposed; no, he didn't cry easily. But Scott could make him feel so empty and alone and tearful. Scott, Lori's boyfriend. "Oh God, please take him away," Theo pleaded in his mind. "Make him leave. Stop his power over me. I belong to Oscar, and Oscar only."

Theo's eyes darted to Scott's face upon Oscar's sudden and long-anticipated arrival. However, Theo didn't rejoice; he trained his gaze on Scott's and noticed the flash of annoyance across his face, coupled with his somewhat irritated greeting for his boyfriend. A part of Theo's heart soared at the fact Scott didn't like the interruption; the other part grit its teeth in frustration. Theo didn't want Scott to be annoyed with Oscar. Oscar had done nothing wrong, why target him? For the first time, Theo felt a tinge of overprotectiveness creep into his mind. How could he be so split in his concerns? One moment yearning for Scott, the next wanting to possess Oscar. This wouldn't do; not for Theo. His eyes switched back to Oscar's, and he stared in surprise at raging brown orbs. Worry filtered into Theo's chest. He nodded absently in agreement to Scott's answer about what they'd been up to, watching Oscar's reactions carefully, anxiously. Oscar had spoken Scott's name so harshly, Theo had been almost afraid of what his boyfriend might do to the other Gryffindor; for a split second it seemed as though Oscar would've mauled Scott - but why? Was he feeling protective over Theo too? Warmth rushed to his cheeks before he could help it. He wasn't blushing, but he was getting hot under the collar. If only that were true?

"Eh?" Theo's head snapped back to watch Scott in alarm as he stated he'd better leave for prefect duties. "Oh, yeah, of course." He felt hope deflate out of him like a popped balloon. All those things he'd wanted to say... those things he'd built up and wanted to burst out with. Now the chance was gone, and Theo doubted he'd ever find the opportunity, the moment, again. He swallowed his upset though, and gave a terse smile. "I'll, um... join you later. I need to chat with Oscar about something... important first." Theo's eyes flickered to his boyfriend, then back at Scott's, apologetic and sad. He didn't want Scott to go. His heart wanted to cling to him, even though he left Theo in such misery and pain. He wanted Scott, and yet didn't. He liked Scott, and yet didn't. It was all so confusing! What did Theo feel? "Someone tell me how to feel." Theo watched helplessly as Scott made his way out the compartment, echoing a soft "Bye", before he was lost from sight.

After a pregnant pause between Oscar and Theo, now left alone in their small space, Theo gathered his wits, feeling some tension ooze out of his body now that Scott was gone. But he still felt the terseness of Oscar beside him; he was desperate to relieve it. He drew out his wand wordlessly, and casting a quick spell on the door, approached Oscar and looked up at him. Only a few centimetres separated them as he stared into brown eyes. "To make sure no one sees us," Theo explained softly what he had committed on that compartment window that would normally have allowed people to peer in; now it was an illusion of people chatting. It would ensure time for them to stop doing anything too intimate if someone stepped in. Another long, awkward pause. "I missed you." Theo's voice was small, but it grew in confidence as he spoke. "I was looking for you everywhere, but... I had a prefect meeting, so Scott and I were chatting, you know..." He made a gentle hand gesture and it fell limp to his side again. Oscar still looked stormy and angry, and he didn't know why. Theo frowned in concern. "Are you OK?" He tried to lace his hand comfortingly around Oscar's, wondering if he was being too daring. He didn't dare to kiss him yet though. Oscar was the dominant one... He wanted, in a way, for him to let Theo know everything was still the same - after Llanrhystud. They still wanted each other. Very much. Right?

[Oscar Flynn G7]

…Quidditch and… and not much more… Yeah, sure you were. Because Scott Ryder does discuss Quidditch, doesn’t he. And not much more. Certainly not about relationships that don’t involve him, certainly not about anything that doesn’t involve a few balls and brooms. Oscar’s thoughts battered his mind and he was unable to latch onto one independent theory of what the two had actually been speaking of. Oscar hadn’t missed the glance at Theo from Scott, nor the slight rise and fall of the Gryffindor’s chest as he sighed. It certainly did seem like Oscar had interrupted something- and he wasn’t sorry. Who knows what could have happened? They could have moved closer than they already had been on his entrance… Oscar did not suspect Theo. He knew, at least he did in Llanrhystud; Theo liked him and not Scott. But what had Scott been playing at? Wasn’t he with Lori Leigh? It was hard for Oscar to push down the need to snarl at the other Gryffindor.

“Of course. Prefect duties. Can’t keep those waiting now, can we.” Oscar replied almost amiably to Scott’s excuse. Here his tone was light and nearly playful, but he wondered for a moment if a steeled undertone was audible. He watched Scott leave and was oblivious to Theo’s expression of sad helplessness. Had he seen it, his muddled mind may have decided that perhaps Scott was not the only one he should be suspicious of. But Oscar didn’t see it. Instead he watched Scott’s back as he walked from the compartment, the door finally shutting behind him. And then it was silent;a silence that reminded Oscar only too clearly of the quiet that had been between Theo and Oscar when they had walked back from his tree house in the holidays. His heart ached as he remember the argument that followed. Oscar was determined not to break this silence by harsh words. But his head was still blazing. He had no solid reason to have this sudden cold attitude towards Scott. And yet he did- because he just knew the Gryffindor was up to something. Just what, he didn’t know.

Oscar was only faintly aware of Theo casting some spell on the door. He nodded slowly, not looking at anything in particular. He didn’t want to think paranoid thoughts. He just wanted Theo to cover him in a blanket of support that could dispel his uncertainties. When Theo then spoke it took Oscar a moment to register the words and process them in his mind, to consider what his boyfriend was saying. His mouth opened for a moment in reply, until Scott’s name popped up again. “Yeah. I know.” He croaked. What did he know? Not very much really. Just what his own paranoid mind was telling him. “I’ve missed you too, Theo.” The words slipped easily from his mouth and he gave into them, let them wash over him like rain. His tone wasn’t croaky anymore but factual and sincere. It was true; he really had missed Theo so much. Oscar cast a glance downwards and his brown eyes were caught up in Theo’s blue ones instantly. He didn’t look away when Theo entwined their fingers together but neither did he react, making it a little difficult for Theo’s hand to embrace his own.

The Ravenclaw’s question reached his ears and he sighed deeply. The movement lifted his chest so it rose and fell with his breathe. His brow creased. “No.” Oscar stared deep into Theo’s eyes. Now; now he could be insecure. Now he could drop down the barriers that stopped everyone from knowing his insecurities. Now, Flynn! Let Theo in. “But I will be.” The barriers remained. Oscar blinked and the link wavered. He wouldn’t risk telling the story to Theo now. He didn’t have the energy to bring Theo into the whole messy situation with Thandi and magic. He would deal with it on his own.

Oscar’s fingers twitched for a moment in Theo’s. He withdrew them and ran his fingers through his long hair slowly. Once this simple movement was complete he did not push his hand back into Theo’s. Instead he turned and leant heavily on the door of the compartment. “Callum and Brittany are here right?” His attempt to change the subject was lame and he knew it, but his voice was confident and determined. He had to keep his mind off thing. Away from thoughts of Scott and Theo, away from theory that he had already lost his sister after just a few weeks of knowing and loving her. Oscar looked then at Theo, still standing, and sighed once more. He hated being in such an awful mood. The stupid ideas in his head had sprung up from nowhere and he knew it. Theo was his boyfriend. His mind turned to that part of their relationship now and he stepped forwards. He didn’t kiss Theo- for a moment he wanted to, wanted to take Theo roughly by the arms and make him feel the chaos that was inside his head with his lips, tongue and teeth. But instead he wrapped his large arms around the smaller boy and held him tight. The time would come when he would have to withdraw, but for now he hugged Theo with a need to do so that wrenched his heart from his chest. “Sorry.” He murmured. The word was quiet and barely audible. For a moment Oscar was unsure who had said it; himself or Theo.

[Theo Darke]

There was no doubt about it. There was something very odd about Oscar's behaviour. Theo hadn't known the Gryffindor on an intimate basis for long, but he had seen him around school, heard stories about him, and something definitely wasn't right. His concern grew; what if Oscar had clued onto his infatuation for Scott? His heart thumped; how would he explain himself? Theo didn't want to lose his boyfriend in less than a month! The thought of Oscar breaking up with him was... heartbreaking. Theo wouldn't say he was in love with Oscar - not yet. But he was sure if they could stick with each other through thick and thin, he would definitely fall in love with him. To be honest, Theo thought to himself, he was in deeper than he had realised, that night at Llanrhystud when their feelings had culminated in frantic shows of affection. No way would he have done such things with anyone else... But then there was Scott. Theo watched him leave in disappointment, but it was covered up carefully by his worry for Oscar. He could see the disgruntled expression on his boyfriend's face, and hoped - prayed - it had nothing to do with him. However, Theo started to doubt anxiously again when Oscar's fingers didn't move to accommodate his own seeking ones. It was as if Oscar couldn't let Theo in. A barrier was erected between them. He frowned then, though did not say a word. He just swallowed his hurt and worry and maintained eye contact. Maybe Oscar would explain.

Theo wasn't worried about Oscar's lack of response in terms of thinking he didn't like him any more. Theo wasn't paranoid like that... he was a pretty confident guy. However, because he had hidden secrets about his feelings for Scott built up in his heart, he was doubly aware of Oscar's expressions and actions. He was just so scared his boyfriend had realised he harboured feelings for another person. Theo didn't want to, but he had no control over his heart - it was the one organ in his body he had no control over whatsoever. It had never frustrated him though, but now it did. Theo wasn't the type to two-time, to not be faithful; it was interfering with his loyalties. When Oscar withdrew his hand, Theo's heart skipped a beat. Oh crap. Was he in trouble now? Theo braced for the blow. Whatever would come would come. He would have to take it, and admit defeat. He couldn't lie to Oscar, or rather, hide things from him. They were together now, and relationships with secrets were not healthy, not in Theo's eyes. He waited with stilled nerves to see if Oscar's hand would return to his own, but it didn't. Theo's blood rushed faster to his head. Oh crap. He watched with intent eyes as Oscar leaned against the compartment door, hoping for some inclination to his true feelings. But, surprisingly with Oscar, there were none. His boyfriend had gone from being a completely open book, easy to read, to a closed recluse.

"Yeah." Theo's head nodded automatically and a slight forced smile perched on his lips out of schooled politeness over his years of upbringing. "They're... around. Somewhere. With this other first year kid who..." Theo trailed off. His eyes were sad and questioning and confused as they stared at Oscar. He wanted answers. He wanted to know what was wrong with his boyfriend, why he was treating him so coldly. It was such a change from their heated passion in that cabin at Llanrhystud. Theo didn't want to talk about his twin siblings, even though they meant the world to him. Because right now, Oscar was his world - no Scott, no Lori, nothing. Just Oscar. And Theo wished he knew how to convey that without saying anything, using just his actions. For a split moment when Oscar began to move forward Theo thought he was going to kiss him. His heart soared; he wasn't in trouble! But he was then hugged instead. Theo blinked in surprise for a moment, feeling slight disappointment, but then smiled a tad and embraced Oscar back. The Gryffindor was clinging to him in an almost desperate manner, and it worried Theo even more now. He was beginning to think that Oscar's problem, whatever it was, did not have anything to do with himself and Scott. Thank goodness.

But still; Oscar was unhappy. Theo could tell as much. And even if it wasn't his fault, he was still concerned. The fact that Oscar was hiding it and avoiding it worried him even more, as his boyfriend, he was sure, was not the type to go around pretending everything was okay. Oscar was open and friendly; he didn't pretend he was something he wasn't. Theo wanted that Oscar back, for him to smile and kiss him with that same fervent passion, and then laugh. It suddenly seemed so long since Theo had heard Oscar laugh; there was like an emptiness in his ears where it had once rung. They hugged for what seemed like forever, until Theo drew away reluctantly and forced Oscar to look him in the eyes. Their faces were so close Theo resisted the urge to kiss him. It wasn't the right moment. "Oscar," he murmured softly, his hand's grip on his boyfriend's waist not pressurising but gently squeezing him in reassurance. "I'm not an idiot." A short pause, an awkward sigh. "I can tell you're not telling me the whole truth. You're obviously not okay, and I..." Theo stilled the blush threatening to reach his cheeks. He didn't like how mushy he was beginning to sound. However, these were his feelings and he wasn't afraid of them, so why not say them out loud? "I worry about you. I care about you. Your pain is my pain, and it just hurts to see you hiding it and not sharing it with me. It hurts me more that you're lying or pretending."

Theo pressed a hesitant, soft kiss by Oscar's lips - not on them, but to the side of them - before continuing. "If you don't want to tell me everything, that's fine. I can't expect that of you... not yet, and probably not ever." He sounded pensive, but he ploughed on with a deep, brave breath. Theo didn't lock up his emotions like some people, but he certainly didn't display them quite as openly as he was now. He was always more honest with Oscar, and he wanted his boyfriend to be the same with him. Theo could only exist in an equal relationship; no more, and no less. "But you don't... you shouldn't have to lie to me. It's not like you, and we already agreed to be honest. If you're not okay, if you want me to leave you alone, I'll do it, even if it hurts me. As long as you're okay. I just want you to be okay." Theo's finger brushed Oscar's cheek tenderly. "Because you're not okay and I'm not an idiot and I want to know what's wrong. I don't want to think it's something I've done, but if it is, just tell me. I'll change. I'll try to, anyway." He tried to crack a humorous smile. "I'll do everything in my power. I'd rather you told me it straight, rather than hide things from me in fear of, I don't know, making me worry. Because I'll just worry more. Just... you don't have to tell me everything, because it's your private business and I trust you, but don't hide it from me, or lie to me, because it just makes me want to..." A small smile. "It sort of makes my heart hurt a bit. Not to be mushy or anything. As long as you're honest with me, I won't... ask for more." He pulled Oscar tightly against him again and buried his head in his neck.

"If you ever want to talk, though, I'm here. I'm always here," he whispered softly. "I'll always be here for you."

[Oscar Flynn G7]

The tall Gryffindor held onto Theo with every inch of his body. He had no idea where this sudden need to embrace his boyfriend came from; but he wanted to do it. Oscar had to know that Theo was there with him, beside him. Although he already knew this it didn’t register in his mind. A sure way to make sure Theo was always in his arms was to grab him and never let go. Sure, it was a slightly unorthodox manner for keeping someone close to you. But it was working; Theo grasped Oscar back and relief almost flooded through him. Almost. But not yet. For then the Ravenclaw began to speak and Oscar drew back slightly, listening reluctantly. Couldn’t he just hold on forever? Without having to ex plain himself, or explain the need to embrace and forget? Apparently not. He knew he would have to talk about it sometimes. And so slowly, as Theo’s words came from his lips, Oscar’s resistance relented. When the Ravenclaw gently pressed those lips against the side of Oscar’s his own lips twitched into a half-smile. He missed those lips against his own. What was he doing, keeping Theo out? The words succeeded in helping Oscar. He nodded, guilty. “I know we agreed to that. I’m sorry. I am. It’s just hard to get used to… having someone. That might sound odd to you; you’ve always had Lori, I guess? But I…” Oscar’s mind flicked back to their first meeting, when Theo had asked him about his best friend. Oscar didn’t have a best friend; he just had a few brilliant friends. But no-one to confide in. Up until now, he hadn’t really had a reason to confide or weep… the speed at which everything was changing at shocked him. So he didn’t think about it. “I don’t really have anyone. Not to tell things to like this…” Oscar paused and mentally shook himself for this new experience.

Then he spoke again in a voice less hesitant. He sighed and his chest heaved, shoulders shrugging gently, helplessly. “I don’t know, Theo. Thandi…” He swallowed deeply. “Thandi hates magic. The whole idea of it. The general concept of magic and Hogwarts and the world that I- that we live in. She ran away from me, Theo! I told her, and she ran away.” Oscar looked down at his hands as if in shame, as if he were a monster that had caused the small child to run. And he had- he was that monster. He sighed again as other thoughts invaded his mind. “And Scott… I don’t think I really know or trust the guy. When I came in there was a weird block, a barrier, as if something really intimate had been said.” He winced slightly. “I know your feelings for Scott, Theo.” Here Oscar paused yet again. He was still looking down at his hands; had he looked up he could have seen the flash of surprise that may have shot into Theo’s blue eyes. But he didn’t look up, and so was oblivious to the possible affect that his words could have had on his boyfriend. “-I know you see him just as a mate. But I wonder… I wonder if he thinks of you differently. I think he’s hiding something. As if he’s waiting for the right moment, and then he’ll pounce. I don’t know…” He repeated these three favourite words as he looked up and into Theo’s handsome face. “I’m probably just nervous- about going back to school and exams or something…”

Oscar knew this was not the case. He was never nervous about going back to school, and for some reason he quite liked exams. He saw them as a challenge, a competition. And Oscar was very competitive when it came to something you could win at. Exams were like a Quidditch game. Sometimes he was playing a position he wasn’t particularly good at- Seeker, for example, or Chaser. This was his Charms exam. But then he gets sent in front of the hoops, to be the barrier before them and stop intruding Quaffles flying through the hoops. And in Keeper he wins; and in Transfiguration, he excels. The Bludgers were particularly hard questions, or strict examiners. It was a matter of tactics and how well you’ve practised; or revised. And although Oscar might bite a nail before a Quidditch game in a storm, it would be hard to find his knees shaking at the prospect of an exam. So he was definitely not nervous about that.

Well then- what was it? He didn’t want to seem like a small, moaning child. He didn’t want Theo to pity his stupid, paranoid mind. And Scott was Theo’s best friend- Oscar couldn’t just accuse him of trying to steal the Ravenclaw from him. And yet… Oscar knew that there had been attraction and that undeniable feeling of lust in the train compartment when he had entered. He knew that there was some truth in the words he’d said to Theo not moments ago. Obviously the feelings didn’t come from Theo- he was, after all, Oscar’s boyfriend. That left Scott to be the culprit, the holder of illegitimate desires and emotions. Again, Oscar’s mind raced ahead of him. He almost pitied the other Gryffindor- for it was unrequited love and lust, was it not? Theo had no part in it, had no want for a relationship to spring from his friendship with Scott. It was just Scott and his feelings, alone. Yes; Oscar felt quite sorry for him.
By thinking this way and developing his paranoid thoughts in this manner Oscar came to the conclusion that his paranoia was perfectly justified.

He took a moment then to kiss Theo gently on the lips. It was light, playful, and Oscar enjoyed it for a few seconds before pulling back with happier eyes. The kiss, the explanation of his thoughts, everything; it had relaxed him. That was Theo. That was what Theo could do with him. His love for his boyfriend strengthened as he thought of this. Oscar’s anger had been a memory up until the holidays, and a bad one. Upon walking into the compartment he had felt it return. But Theo had dispelled the rage and converted it into something completely unfamiliar to Oscar. He adored that; he needed that. Theo alone could calm him down. At least he could with that anger. Oscar didn’t want to think about what could happen if he got truly enraged- he certainly had felt that heat burning up when he had seen Scott. But for now he was calm again, although the thoughts of Scott trying to steal Theo from his arms were still in his mind, searing into his head. He put them swiftly aside by leaning back into Theo comfortably.

[Theo Darke]

Theo listened to Oscar quietly and gave a soft smile at the comment of 'having someone'. Yes. Theo was very lucky to have Lori Leigh as his best friend. She had been there for him through the thick and thin - from his first word to his first step, to walking out into society and admitting his sexuality - she'd been there for it all. And he loved her. Darnit, Theo loved Lori like she was his other half, because in a way, she was his other half; she completed him; not in the way being with Oscar made him feel whole, more like a twin who would always understand you, always be there for you - an undiluted, unconditional love. It was the love of a parent to their child; it was a bond that was unbreakable... Even if boyfriends like Scott and Oscar came along, they would always be best friends, right? Theo suddenly felt awfully guilty about his recent behaviour towards Lori; he'd been rejecting her so much since finding out about her blossoming relationship with Scott. Even though Theo knew it was unreasonable of him to act this way, his guilt still held him back from running to Lori and telling her his biggest secret yet: Oscar Flynn. The beautiful boy standing in front of him with his eyes so doleful and looking at Theo so trustingly he had to force his toes from pushing up so he could kiss Oscar.

"You can tell me." Theo's voice was gentle and reassuring, and he squeezed Oscar's waist as he smiled again. "If you can't find anyone to talk to, I'm here. I'll always be here for you," he repeated, nuzzling his nose against Oscar comfortingly. Theo listened to his boyfriend's confession about Thandi, and his eyes drooped as his heart ached for Oscar. For a moment Theo felt slight bitterness rising in his throat towards the newest addition to the Flynn family - how could Thandi make her brother so sad when he loved her so much? But Theo swallowed his pain and anger as Oscar continued to speak, knowing that Thandi was just a four-year-old child who was merely scared and frightened by something beyond her imagination. No doubt any child would be scared. Theo grasped Oscar's hands instinctively with his own as the Gryffindor looked down at them in shame. "I'm sorry about Thandi," Theo murmured gently. Oscar didn't need to feel ashamed. Why should he? He'd done nothing wrong. The voices shouted within Theo's head and he held Oscar's hands tightly, until Scott's name shocked him into almost dropping them. "Oh God, Oscar--" Theo began in horror, which only grew when his boyfriend said "I know your feelings for Scott". This was it. Oscar knew. Oscar knew his biggest secret - even bigger than the fact he was falling in love with Oscar - that he was already in love with Scott. This was the moment of truth that Theo wished didn't have to happen. He didn't want to hurt Oscar.

However, before Theo could attempt to explain himself and apologise profusely, Oscar interrupted and continued talking, leaving Theo's hands still clinging to his, face screwed up in confusion. A mate? What? The bewilderment was evident in Theo's face, his wide eyes as he listened to Oscar go on and on about how Scott liked him! Theo could barely believe it; his boyfriend had gotten it all wrong! He would've shook his head in amazement if he hadn't been so glued to watching every beautiful contour of Oscar's face crumple in frustration, hanging off every painful word. "Oscar, Oscar," Theo started again, pulling his boyfriend closer to him again and looking into his eyes. In those split seconds Theo had decided what he would do: his secret was safe, and it would remain a secret. He didn't have any time to doubt himself as he launched into his own speech to appease Oscar of his paranoia. Theo's heart had been thumping terribly quickly before from fear of exposure, but now it felt warm and fuzzy; Oscar was jealous... over him? It made Theo feel loved, more than ever in his life. He belonged to this boy - Oscar. Only him. Even if he loved Scott, he belonged to Oscar. "Listen to me, Oscar. Scott and I, we're just friends. Scott definitely," Theo stressed the word with force, "doesn't like me. Have you forgotten? He's dating Lori. He's straight!" He couldn't resist an almost bitter, ironic bark of laughter. "He wouldn't two-time Lori. If he did, I wouldn't have it. Trust me, Oscar." Theo pulled Oscar's hands to his chest sincerely. "Trust me. Scott doesn't like me at all. I'd laugh if he did. I can't convert straight guys gay. Or maybe I can," Theo ended with a laugh.

Oscar seemed more relaxed now, believing his woes to have found a place to bury and let them be. Theo smiled as Oscar did, his hands dropping Oscar's. One wound itself round his neck, his fingers playing at the nape of Oscar's shirt, the other on his waist again. The atmosphere had disintegrated from the nervous, tense one from before, and Theo was glad. He was now in familiar territory again. His smile broadened as Oscar kissed him softly. He liked the feel of his boyfriend against him again; it'd been so long, or at least it felt like it. Theo's throat gave a low, happy chuckle, and wouldn't let Oscar draw away as he leaned up for more, kissing with slightly more fervour. He was conscious of where they were and he'd hate to be compromised by fellow students, even if there was a spell on the door preventing anyone from seeing their actions. Theo's teeth bit hungrily at Oscar's bottom lip, and after a long, deep kiss, he drew back and grinned infectiously. "Everything will be okay. I promise." Theo's lips nuzzled against Oscar's cheek, hot breath rushing into his ear, and pressed against him lovingly. He didn't want the moment to end. But soon they would be back at Hogwarts and such displays of affection - especially those that night at Llanrhystud - would be difficult, if not impossible to replicate. Theo, however, didn't plan on never kissing Oscar again, never holding him again. Keeping it a secret wouldn't stop him. He'd find a way round it and he'd make sure they'd never be caught. Never.

[Oscar Flynn G7]

There it was again. A surge of something (Was it... love? Course not... it couldn't be.) rushing through Oscar as Theo’s grip on him tightened slightly, his voice calming doubts in Oscar’s mind as he assured him he could confide. Had it been another time, another place, another conversation, he would have gripped Theo in just the same way. But he couldn’t react properly. His mind was still numb and the memory of Thandi rushing from him still fresh in his mind. It was just… so painful. So utterly painful and frustrating and confusing and Oscar almost wished that he hadn’t told her… but he didn’t. He just hoped that one day, hopefully soon, she would be able to see him as a brother again. She was just so young, yet so wise already. She already knew what she was properly scared of and what she merely shrieked at- although Oscar knew that Thandi was fearless for such a young child, and would never shriek at something silly like a spider (although Oscar would). To Theo’s apology he nodded softly; he was tempted to say that it wasn’t Theo’s fault. That reminded him of their night in Llanrhystud and the amount of times he had to tell Theo not to apologise then. He resisted saying so now with his eyes still down. It was his fault alone that Thandi was now filled with fear. So he pushed it as far down as it would go.

The grip of Theo’s fingers around Oscar’s own tightened after this and Oscar didn’t pull away- although Theo soon did. For a moment Oscar was confused, but looked into Theo’s eyes. What did he see there? It looked like fear. Surprise. Worry. Guilt. Why? There was no reason for Theo to feel any of those things. Unless he was so unaware of Scott’s feelings for him; in which case some surprise would be justified. Oscar took his boyfriend’s hands again with a small frown. The surprise and bewilderment was still clear in Theo’s face and Oscar tried his best to explain what he had seen- what he had felt, in the compartment upon his entry. Theo repeated Oscar’s name twice and for a moment, the Gryffindor ignored him and continued. But his train of speech wavered finally and drew to a complete halt as Theo looked him the eyes. Again, Oscar was drawn in by his boyfriend’s pupils, drowning in his feelings as they washed over him. The feeling was almost scary; the thought that one glance into those eyes could make him feel so much. But he welcome this fear with open arms as his ears tuned in to what Theo was saying.

“Yeah- he’s dating Lori. And God, I was ‘straight’ not long ago.” Had it been another conversation he would have reacted differently again; perhaps a little smirk or a playful twinkle may have arrived in his eye. But his voice and expression were both serious; this wasn’t a game. “That doesn’t really mean anything. He could still…” His voice trailed off as Theo’s grew stronger. His attempt to convince the Ravenclaw was obviously futile. And so Oscar nodded slowly, but his frown was clear and his doubt apparent. Whatever Theo said, there was something there. Something about Scott. No matter how much Oscar’s brain told him to leave the subject and believe his boyfriend he couldn’t; he knew what he had seen. Theo obviously didn’t agree though, and Oscar didn’t want to argue. He didn’t want to fight or complain about Scott, didn’t want to do anything apart from be with Theo now. When the other boy put Oscar’s hands to his chest Oscar kept them there until Theo’s fingers wound around his neck. The feeling brought back sensations of Llanrhystud and Oscar took a quick, short breathe before smiling softly again.

Oscar echoed Theo’s gentle, playful chuckle. He could feel the other boy’s smile beneath his lips as they kissed and it was contagious; Oscar’s own smirk widened. It amazed him how quickly this boy could make him forget everything bad and just focus on the good things in Oscar’s life right now; him. Oscar didn’t hesitate to respond to Theo’s teeth and lips, the feel of Theo coursing through him now. God, he had missed this so much. Scott liked Theo- but that didn’t matter at the moment. Because it was obvious who Theo liked.
“Thank you.” He drew back with Theo and spoke gently, looking into his eyes again. “You’re doing everything right and perfectly and I- I wasn’t being honest with you. I haven’t forgotten my promise to be open. I should know that you’re… well, that you’re here. I guess.” He smiled sheepishly. “You’ve only been completely and wholly honest with me and I should do the same. I promise, from now on. I’ll be telling you every little secret. You’ll be wishing I were more secretive before long.” He joked lightly.

Then he leant into Theo again, holding him close gently. It wouldn’t be long before they were at Hogwarts, amongst the bustling students and oddly transparent ghosts. But for now they were in their own compartment, their own world where they were the only inhabitants. Not Scott. Not Thandi or Lori or anyone else. Just Theo and Oscar, with nothing to hide. At least that’s what Oscar believed.

(( :3 Sorry. New post? ))