Visions, Voices, and a Visitor ((Aurora))

[Stephen Donahue S7]

Flashes of memory plague mind…bodies falling, bodies moving, hands wrapping around warm flesh. Muscles tighten, flex, breathing sky rockets, throat constricting as eyes bulge…grunting, kicking, movement all around, hands pawing at, nails ripping into flesh and then…silence, unmoving, cold, numbing pain…a scream of silence through the ears as hands pull away shaking, blurred vision, restless frame moving backward…away from devastation, away from painful memories.

Form bolted up from its resting place in bed, breathing quick and uneven, sweat plastering thick shaggy hair to head. Muscles tense and rigid as mind searches for a memory of where he was. Hazel orbs quickly surveying the familiar dorm room as if it was it’s own distant memory, one too far out of reach to remember as hands wound their way out of the sheets, legs tumbling over the side of the bed, bare feet touching the cool unforgiving ground as memories finally resurface, the familiar green and silver fabric bringing his mind back to Hogwarts. Familiar…safe Hogwarts. Stephen Donahue’s form hunched a little from the weight that seemed to find his shoulders almost immediately upon waking, his hands moving up as he glanced down at the palms…their soft shaking brought disheartened memories back to mind and he forced them away as he brought his hands to his face and rubbed at the sweaty flesh before pulling back the covers and standing, his bare chest and back showing the proof of how strong the nightmare was by it’s glint of sweat.

Boxer clad body moved to grab up a pair of jeans and black Ghostly Metal shirt (one of his favorite heavy metal wizarding bands). The hour wasn’t too late his form having returned to bed not long before dinner in hopes that the images would stop. Fortunately they had, until the nightmare came along. The healers said it would take time, referring to years instead of just months. Stephen had known this…had seen it with his own two eyes. It would get worse before it got better…he just hoped that his case was less extreme. He wasn’t a veteran like his father; he had just simply been the cause of death to him. Nails dug into hands as he realized once again that his mind had driven itself back to thoughts of his father. Deep breath and another as he pulled on his black hoodie, his familiar wand sliding into its pocket as he slid out of the dorm room and toward the common room. Voices sounded in the room beyond, but died down to an almost whisper as he entered. He didn’t both glancing at any of them as he continued out of the secret passage and down the dungeon corridors. He had already told the gossipers that a picture would last longer so to continue on about that would make him no better than them and he was…even with his screwed up head he was better.

Stephen caught a flash of dark brown hair and a U.S. Marine’s outfit, his whole body going rigid as he stopped, standing stalk still. He knew it was just in his head…knew it couldn’t be real that his nightmare was just making his waking moments worse than normal. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and counted to ten…sure enough when he opened them it was gone…just like the healers told him it would be. He just had to remember to breathe was all, breathe and he’d be okay. A constant reminder to breathe was one thing…a constant reminder that you killed your own father was another. Hands started shaking again and to hide this fact he stuffed them in the pockets of his jeans as he continued through the corridors and then up the never-ending stairs to the entrance hall. Stephen could still hear the clanking of food dishes and he realized that dinner must have still been going on, meaning he hadn’t slept as long as he had thought. With no want or care to eat he slipped through the doors and out to the grounds, the sun had recently set…casting the grounds into an almost eerie darkness, one that made Stephen comfortable.

Moving through the darkness, his eyes adjusted quickly, as they always did now to the darkness. His form stepping down the stone steps of the castle before he simply sat down. Though the grounds were his normally ideal place to walk at night…to give him privacy and moments to practice the meditation he was supposed to be working on…the cool steps of the castle called to him like a moth to the flame. The cool evening wasn’t enough to dissuade him as his knees bent and his arms draped across the top of them, his chin finding a home nestled in the crook of his arms. Already the phantom sounds of the fight between son and father began to assail the nearly 17-year-old kid, the look of desperation filled his features again, revealing an impossibly older man, resembling that of his father. He was a 16-year-old going on 40…that in itself was apparent. Form tenses, hands clenching as he jumps up, the sound of footsteps bringing him out of his reminiscing and back into the combat stance he’d take with his father, but it couldn’t be his father this time, he was dead…or was this simply just another flashback?

[Aurora Chan]

"Nothing is wrong with me! I'm fine. If I wanted your help I'd have asked. You're not my mother, okay? And you're not Harmony's mother either. I'll deal with her how I like, so don't tell me how to be a sister, because I know how - because I was the one who was there for her when we left dad, I was there when mum died, I was there every single time she cried for them both, not you, so don't assume you know everything about us, Aurora, because you don't. You're just our cousin, a friend, so know your place and stay out of my business. Is that too much to ask? For goodness sake! Just leave me alone!

"Fine, fine, Ariane, I'll leave you alone. You can cry yourself to sleep, and when you need someone I won't be there any more, because you don't need me!" Angry bursts of Chinese speech spilled from Aurora's mouth as tears began to assault her eyes. "Damnit, I'm not going to cry over this, it's too stupid," she repeated to herself over and over again, her feet quickening as she swerved past other students in the hallways, staring at her distressed form as she muttered to herself in her mother-tongue with glistening eyes. But Aurora ignored them, and as her desperation grew, the castle's air suffocating her, her legs subconsciously quickened her brisk walk into a jog, then a pounding run. Her tears, hot and angry, spilled down her cheeks. Once, she thought she glimpsed Harmony through her curtain of hair that stuck to her face with the wetness of her tears, but she didn't even stop as she burst into the Grounds, needing to be free of the oppression, of the argument that she had just had unexpectedly with her best friend. "Am I really that useless?" Aurora shouted into the cold evening air, the echo of her voice melting into the darkness that was the symbol of winter approaching. "A-Am I really that unnecessary?" she whispered shakily as her head bowed and the tears flowed once more, thicker, faster; there was no anger, just shame and sadness.

Aurora cried for what felt like an hour, but it was only a mere ten minutes. Her shoulders shook with the effort to conceal her sobbing, even though she was sure no one else was around at this late hour. There were plenty of students still awake, since it was barely bed time yet, but they were all cooped up in the Student Lounge or the Common Room or the Library, working, chatting, just relaxing. Who would want to come out into the shivering cold? That was when it hit Aurora; the night air was more chilly than she had realised, but then again, when she had fled from her dorm she hadn't exactly been thinking straight. All she'd known in that moment of weakness was that she needed to get out; she needed to escape. "I'm weak. I just... ran away," Aurora murmured bitterly to herself. "I ran away from her... I ran away from my fears." Kael's voice suddenly sounded in her head - words that reminded her how pointless being kind was. No, it wasn't pointless - Aurora could never agree with that, never. But it was certainly painful, and often people didn't even thank you for it. Instead, they'd turn on you, point the finger at you, blame it all on you. But Aurora couldn't help trying all the time to help; she had an innate mechanism inside of her that required she be useful to people. Because if she wasn't, she didn't know what she was living for.

That was Aurora's biggest fear: to be unneeded. Unnecessary.

After soothing herself and slowing down the flood of tears that now stained her pale cheeks, Aurora wrapped her frail arms around her shivering body and wondered what she'd better do next. She was calm enough to think clearly now, and she began to reason to herself about the argument she'd just had with Ariane. Yes, Ariane had said some terrible, hurtful things to her, but she was stressed, frustrated... Aurora had probably caught her at a bad time. She shouldn't have pushed so hard. And what Ariane had said, some of it was true; Aurora didn't need to involve herself quite as much as she did. Yes, she was just overreacting, letting her emotions get the better of her. Eventually Ariane would also calm down and this whole thing would blow over as though it had never happened. Aurora was upset still, but she couldn't let it get to her. She wasn't angry with her best friend any more... She just felt empty and worthless. Heaving a long, heavy and shaky sigh, the symptoms of a crying fit still somewhat choking her throat, Aurora decided she needed some more time to herself rather than return to the castle. She didn't want to face her friends or the other students right now. The last thing she wanted to do was plaster a fake, bright smile on her face and pretend everything was okay. Plus, she probably had some explaining to do...

So Aurora set off on a brisk walk around the castle, even though she knew full well that she shouldn't be out so late. However, she didn't care, and she was sure she wouldn't be too harshly reprimanded if she were caught - she was generally too well liked, it wasn't even that late, and being in seventh year as the oldest students had its peaks. The only problem was the cold seeping into her thin robes, but Aurora forcefully shrugged it off and carried on walking quicker, just wanting to be alone and clear her mind. As she rounded on the castle's steps - the entrance that the students came through at the beginning and end of every school year - she saw a figure in the darkness, and her feet juddered to a halt. Hesitantly, with some fear, Aurora inched forward to assess who it was. Hopefully it wasn't someone dangerous. Aurora raised a sleeve to wipe at her dry tears roughly, before taking out her wand and holding it to her face. "Lumos," she whispered, and the wand tip flared to life, lighting up her face and the figure on the stone steps. Aurora blinked in recognition and took a step closer. "Um... hi." No, she couldn't address him as 'Stephen', that was much too personal for a Slytherin, right? But she hated calling people by their surnames, so for now, he had to be nameless.

Stephen Donahue... Aurora was sure he was once in the year below, but right now he was in fifth year. He was a Slytherin, and not a nice one. Rumour had it that Stephen had done terrible things - hence taking a year off school and returning to retake his fifth year. Aurora had never spoken to him, but she wasn't afraid of him, despite the rumours. She didn't believe in rumours... They caused too much pain and strife to be believed in. "Mind if I join you?" Aurora murmured at last, looking down at Stephen with a calm expression. Maybe the redness of her eyes and the shining remnants of tears that still lingered on her face gave her away, but Aurora didn't care. She was sure the last person who could hurt her feelings right now was Stephen. After all, her best friend had just delivered quite a blow to her heart and her self-esteem. It was her first ever argument with Ariane, and Aurora just wanted to forget - so maybe sitting here with Stephen Donahue would help. Maybe he'd help her forget?

[Stephen Donahue S7]

Stephen was still on the defensive when the light from a wand lit up the face of a girl and his own frame. He didn’t know her…at least he didn’t think he knew who she was. Everyone seemed to know who he was and he only remembered a few students in the 6th year, people he had known for 4 years before he’d disappeared. So the fact that she was standing there led him to two conclusions, one she had no idea who he was and hadn’t heard the rumors about him or two she was curious about said rumors and thought wandering out to find him was a great way to find out all about him. His hand clenched at his side at the thought. He was so sick and tired of being the ‘freak show’ to the students there at Hogwarts. So he’d killed his father, been to Azkaban, gone insane, and was too old for the year he was in…it didn’t mean he was a freak. Of course that wasn’t going to sway any of them he was sure. No he was going to have to learn to deal with it…or just start cursing everyone he ran into so that maybe they’d leave him the freak alone like he wanted to be left.

However the moment she asked to join him, he realized that maybe she was in need of quiet as much as he did…hazel eyes squinted a little, catching the glimpse of red and puffy eyes. She’d been crying or at least it seemed like it. A part of him, the part that was compassionate to his fellow wizard and witch made him shrug as he sat back down, motioning to the steps. “I don’t own them,” he said simply as his arms piled on top of his knees his chin finding it’s home on top once again. He glanced over at her then…curiosity winning out a little over why she’d want to join him. He was pretty sure his reputation proceeded him…in fact he was pretty sure everyone in the school knew his name and some version of what he’d done, yet this girl…more than likely older than he was didn’t seem at all afraid or terribly interested in him. He wondered why that was…wondered if she just didn’t care about rumors or didn’t care who she sat with.

Stephen took a deep breath before curiosity won out over his normal brooding behavior. “I’m not one for company, but I’m curious as to why you’ve chosen to sit outside at this time of night with someone that most of the school talks about?” Stephen asked shortly as he didn’t even bother looking over at her, his hazel eyes starring into the Forbidden Forest in the distance. He didn’t know why he’d felt the need to ask, just his discomfort was showing and his need for privacy had now been interrupted by a girl who had been (or still was) crying. As for the crying thing, yeah that was something Stephen wasn’t even about to touch with a ten foot pole. He didn’t have any interest in knowing…crying was a weakness as were other mental problems…like the one he had and in his eyes one weakness was enough for two people, so he didn’t need to have her blubbering again to add to his already deranged mind.

Besides girls weren’t really at the top of his list of entertainment, he had no idea how to talk to one properly and didn’t really care to know how. He’d never found one interesting enough while he was in the 4th year to ask out and last year thinking of a girl was impossible, let alone wanting to ask one out and now that he’d returned he couldn’t find any girl worth asking out. All of them were either afraid of him or too interested in him, both of which were creepy enough to make Stephen want to stay as far away from them as possible. Last thing he needed was another rumor started about him sleeping with the entire school. Not that he wouldn’t mind that one, he’d just prefer actually do it than have a false rumor spread.

[Aurora Chan]

Aurora nodded silently and slipped, noiseless, to sit beside Stephen on the stone steps, cold and unforgiving. She shivered, gritting her teeth, and glanced at Stephen's pale face in the wand- and moonlight. There was about half a metre separating them. No, Aurora wasn't scared, but she would only go so close to a stranger. She didn't want to tread on their personal space. She did it regularly with friends - take Kael for example; he didn't invite her to share his personal space and she was sure he would never do so officially, but because they were friends she knew he was comfortable with her, to an extent. But she and Stephen had never spoken and due to the personality he exuded Aurora doubted he liked it when people invited themselves to share his space. Extinguishing her wand and placing it in her pocket, Aurora hugged her freezing body and stared into the night, silent and brooding. The atmosphere was not awkward; on the contrary she felt comfortable, seated here in the evening chill with a completely stranger - a Slytherin at that. Normally any person from that house would've run away from her. She was much too bright a personality for them to cope with or enjoy the presence of. However, she wasn't in any sort of cheerful mood right now. Maybe that was why. Maybe the silence was comfortable because she and Stephen were sharing in the same sort of feeling... one of solitude.

Aurora glanced across at Stephen, her eyes widening a little in surprise when he spoke but retracting again as the shattered silence settled around her. She hadn't expected Stephen to make conversation but she was fine with talking. Sometimes just speaking with a total stranger could help. Sometimes people need to remember they are not completely alone. Observing Stephen for a brief moment of quiet, Aurora averted her eyes to look up at the dark sky, glittering with tiny stars, and eventually answered with a soft, thoughtful voice. "Why shouldn't I sit next to you? Because the school is rife with rumours about you? Because those thoughtless, inconsiderate people gossip about your private life when it's none of their business? Because twisting a story to the biggest exaggeration is entertainment for them? Why should I base my opinions - my beliefs, my fears and my friends - on what comes out of their mouths? I can't do that. I could never do that. I like to make up my mind based on my own thoughts and experiences. I don't need anyone else to make them for me. I will give people the benefit of the doubt - a chance - before I make up my mind about them. You, for example."

Aurora looked across at Stephen again with a little more curiosity, but mainly out of friendliness. "You're Stephen Donahue, right? I've heard your name. I've heard other things, but your name is the only one I'm inclined to believe is the truth. Please correct me if I'm wrong though. You never know what people might change to make a story or person 'interesting'." Rolling her eyes with a wry smile, Aurora turned away again and stared at her hands. "I'm Aurora Chan, by the way." She gave a soft sigh and started again. "I think, though, that you need to give people around you the benefit of the doubt too. Because there must be more than one person out there who won't so quickly jump to conclusions about you. However, on the other hand, I admit I am probably rather naive to think there's anyone else quite as innocent-minded as me out there. I just look for the good in people. It's not as great a trait as some may think."

"You're basically implying 'why I'm not scared' though, right?" Aurora asked softly, touching her cheek to make sure all the tears had been swept away, forgotten and lost. "Like I said, I can't be scared of someone or something I don't know about. Novelty doesn't scare me. As for sitting outside... I just needed some time alone. I could ask you the same question." She glanced at him pointedly for a second, then turned away. "But you don't have to tell me. I don't expect you to. Everyone has their business, their issues. Usually it's better not to pry." She rubbed her eye and breathed deeply.