From Another Perspective ((Jasmine and Jordan))

[Samantha Driscoll]

She did not feel like eating at all. It had been a long day, and she could feel the beginnings of a headache, and rather than buy some potion from the apothecary she decided to just put up with it unless it became too unbearable. She had a higher threshold for pain than most; her Healer had told her that, after stressing how much she needed to start eating proper meals at the same time of the day everyday. Something about making it part of her daily routine. She did listen to everything he said, regardless of whether she followed it or not, but it was difficult after the two months of Azkaban when she ate almost nothing and the years before that when she had followed strict diets to care for her figure to just let go and eat everything she wanted. She always had this underlying guilt that was slipping away gradually but always came back especially during times of stress. But she had promised Charles she was going to eat properly and keep up her strength. And they weren’t going to let each other down, so she was keeping her end of the bargain.

What was this place anyway? Old habits die hard – and Samantha’s critical eyes quickly took in everything and appraised it, and inevitably she felt at first that it left much to be desired. The tables and chairs were not placed strategically – too much space was left were it was not needed and too little where it was – and the lighting was not the best that it could be. Give it a chance, Sam, she heard Charles saying in her head. There was a table next to the window she found she liked if she took in the other good things about it – the nice tablecloth, and the flowers in a small vase on the table, and when she sat down the chair was soft and comfortable. And most importantly the anonymity was welcome – her crowd would not be seen dead in a place like this, they, unlike her, would not have given it a chance. Her lemonade arrived and she took a sip of it and actually liked it. But then her thoughts turned to what she had been thinking about all day as she had gone about trying to find a place to stay and something to fill her life with now she was done with school.

Samantha had completely forgotten that with the end of the school year and both her parents not being there to care for Charles that the court was sure to look into it and insist he had a legal guardian. As long as he had been at Hogwarts they had not bothered about him much especially since they so much money but now he was not going to be left alone with her. The fact that she was not going to be allowed to care for Charles still bothered her although she did not blame the court for not allowing her to do so. Given her history, and her current state of mind, who would have allowed her to be in charge of anyone even if he was her younger brother? And like Charles had said, he wanted her moving on with her life, and Sam knew she had to as well, and that just because this had happened that didn’t mean that they wouldn’t be seeing much of each other. He had said for her not to worry and that he had a solution but he needed till the end of the day to tell her what they were going to do. Upon further questioning he had just said that he'd be visiting Professor Foxcroft for advice and would say no more.

She sighed before asking quietly for a menu, and then folded her hands in her lap after ordering. She was dressed in flowing black robes that ended mid-thigh with long sleeves, and as usual had applied little make-up but heavy eyeliner and mascara. The robe had been fashionable the summer before, not this one certainly and not at this time of day, but Samantha was remembering to choose what she liked and felt like wearing, and black fitted her mood perfectly. She ordered and then was left completely to her own thoughts. She stared out of the window, the light falling on her face, her eyes full of what she was feeling.

[Jordan Elizabeth Cortes]

She was ready for anything the day had in store. Oh, yes, she was. Jordan Cortes jumped onto an empty bench and burst into song as she did a quick back flip off it. Her mood was uplifted. She was happy. No, not happy, ecstatic! Her heart was soaring and her mind was full of creativity. Her artistic abilities were shining through brilliantly now. She hadn't sketched or painted in months and she knew that today she would be able to do so much more than that. It made her so incredibly jovial. Not that Jordan was usually depressed. She just hadn't been as ecstatic as she is now. No where near. Besides feeling the creative juices flowing, she had a lunch date/get together with her dearest friend Jasmine. Jordan hadn't really talked to Jasmine in awhile. Jasmine was a lot of fun to be around. Especially if she was in as good a mood as Jordan was. Most especially.

Jordan entered the cafe where they were supposed to meet and took a seat at a table that was near a window but not too near. She didn't want the sun to hurt her eyes. She placed her small shoulderbag by her chair and sighed as she folded her arms on the checkered tablecloth. Her eyes looked around the small place, taking in its coziness. The door opened then and Jordan expected to see Jazz coming in. But it wasn't her. A girl who had graduated by the name of Samantha Driscoll took a seat by the window. Jordan watched her a moment and then came to decision. She leaned over and picked up her bag, puling out her sketchpad as she walked over to Samantha. She wanted to sketch her.

Jordan soundlessly took the seat across from her and smiled. "Hi." She greeted with a soft smile and tone. She had heard plenty about Samantha Driscoll, but Jordan knew that she was still human. She still had emotions and she still lived. Jordan wasn't going to act any differently to her than she would any other person she had just approached. "It's a pretty day, isn't it?" Jordan glanced out the window and then returned to Samantha. "I was wondering something, and it might seem like an odd request, but you see. I've had a lack of creativity lately and today I feel it inside me. I was wondering if I could sketch you?" Of course Jordan knew it was an absurd request, but she couldn't help herself. When she saw something she liked, she started to desire to drawn it. Usually nothing could stop her as well.

Without a word, Jordan opened her sketchbook. She flipped past a lot of drawings of Dillion and some mythical creature to an empty page. She smiled as she lifted her pencil and started the initial drawing. Jordan had been drawing for years. It was her passion. More so than dancing and most definitely most than pulling pranks. There was silence from Jordan's end as she continued to sketch. IT wasn't until she heard the door open that she looked up. Her hand continued to shade in the hair of Samantha. Jasmine stood at the entrance, looking for Jordan. Jordan smiled and raised her free hand before turning her gaze back to the sketch. Every not and then her eyes would lift and watch Samantha only to return to the sketch.

[Jasmine Anderson]

((Sorry, lol. I was in a huge horse mood! *gives you cookies* I'm pretty sure this is still in summer. If not...then deal with my post lol.))

Jasmine hummed under her breath, her white hands gliding over the smooth, Chestnut coat. Jasper lowered his head at the gentle touch, his tail swishing at some flies. The horse’s eyes where half closed as her hands continued to glide over his neck. Jasmine didn't know what she would ever do with horses in her life. Horses were the only reason that ever made her want to get up in the morning. Without Jasper, Jasmine would probably fall apart. She had already lost so much, and this chestnut horse was the only thing left of her mother. Smiling, Jasmine leaned on the stall door, digging into her pockets for a carrot. Instantly, Jasper's head flung up, an eager look in his eyes. Laughing, she grinned as the horse rested his head against her shoulder. He kept it there for a few moments until finally giving a little nudge, which sent her back a couple paces. Breaking the carrot in half, Jasmine handed one half, waiting a couple of seconds before giving him the second portion. "You’re a fatty," she whispered listening to the sounds of munching.

Resting her forehead against his, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath. The smell of hay and grain filled her nostrils; the similar smell of horses. "Nothing I have ever known - has made me feel this way. Nothing I have ever seen - has made me want to stay. But here I am - ready for you. I'm turnin', I'm fallin' - I hear my home callin'. Hey - I've never felt somethin's so strong - oh no. It’s like nothing I've ever known," she sang jumping back slightly as Jasper nudged pretty hard against her chest. The horse reached out its long neck to her pockets, trying to find left overs. Jasmine laughed as she gently pushed his head away. "You could eat anything couldn't you?" That was true. One time she had brought a sandwich and ate it outside his stall. Jasper being himself, took it from her hands, leaving only the meat, which had landed on the ground. Looking back toward the clock she gasped. Jasmine was supposed to meet Jordan in an hour. Giving the horse a final pet and a kiss on the forehead, she grabbed all her things and left the barn.

Making it home in decent time, Jasmine didn't waste a second. She quickly got in the shower and before long; she was already blow drying her hair. When her hair was dried she took out some clean clothes from the closet, and put them on. Grabbing her purse from the beside table, she dashed out of her bedroom and before long she was walking into the streets of Hogsmeade. Tucking her loose brown hair behind her ear, Jasmine entered The Three Broomsticks. She stood by the door, her eyes looking around for the familiar look of Jordan. Noticing Jordan raising her hand she walked toward the table. Her friend wasn't alone, but rather drawling out the girl next to her. The girl looked so lonely and quite familiar. Smiling she took a seat down with them. "Hello. I'm Jasmine. Looks like Jordan found her new master piece."

[Samantha Driscoll]

I wonder what this Julius Foxcroft person is really like. I know Charlie trusts him completely, and I do so desperately want for him to be happy - I wonder what he hopes to achieve by visiting him today.She breathed in and held the breath, and then as she let it out she forced her thoughts to other things. She tried to work up an appetite as she glanced at the menu but did not succeed. She closed it silently and assumed her former position, her thoughts once again on the disturbing subject that had just been in her head. And then suddenly and unceremoniously the small circle of morbid depression was broken by someone bouncing into it – or at least to Sam it was bouncing, because she was so unused to someone she didn’t know approaching her, especially someone that seemed to Sam to be carefree from the very first glance - but then that person was invading Sam’s very small comfort zone, she felt as if she had been sleeping on a shore and the tide had suddenly come in strongly and swiftly and she’d been taken by surprise by its cold sting.

”It is, yes,” said Samantha a little guardedly. She didn’t reply to the girl’s question, still a little disoriented. She looked away from the girl’s direct gaze and her eyes fell on the turning pages of her sketchbook. She thought the girl had talent but she didn’t really feel comfortable with anyone drawing her, especially not at the moment. But Jordan didn’t give her a chance to say no, and Samantha forced herself not to squirm and looked at the menu distractedly. I just won’t look at the sketch. But then she got another real distraction and in her quiet refined tones she replied. “Hello, I’m Sam,” she said. Ex-Slytherin Queen. Unemployed. Just out of Azkaban. Scared as hell of you and your friend, although not a long time ago I would have thought you were worth less than the dirt on my shoes. She let out a nervous laugh and said, “I hardly think so.” Samantha was dying to tell Jordan to stop drawing her. The faint scribbling sound was making her very uncomfortable, and suddenly it stopped. And then she was suddenly curious to see how Jordan had seen her. Why, she didn’t know, a moment ago she hadn’t wanted to, she had been scared to see what the sketch might show her, she hated looking in a mirror enough as it was. But she was curious to know why Jordan had chosen her, and in a normal sense like anyone else in her position she wanted to see her depiction on paper. “May I see?” she asked, her voice not quite as steady as it had been a minute ago.

[Jordan Elizabeth Cortes]

Jordan smiled softly at Sam as she seemed to squirm in her seat. She knew her drawing was making her uncomfortable, but Jordan couldn't help it. She liked to draw and normally she forgot about what other people thought of felt about being drawn and just went for it. It wasn't until she was half way finished with the sketch that it seemed to occur to Jordan that not everyone liked being a masterpiece. Jordan had many masterpieces, her favourite of which was Dillion. Keeping her mind focused on her subject and not on her friend, Jordan continued to shade in the surroundings of Samantha. "I'm sorry if this is making you uncomfortable, I'm nearly finished, promise. You can even have it to choose what you do with it." She smiled kindly and then moved her hand to the bottom right corner to sign her name and date. "The lighting on you just made you seem angelic, but I know that everyone has a devilish side."

When Samantha asked if she could see it, Jordan smiled and nodded before handing it to her. The drawing was simple in a way, yet complex because it had the darker shadow of Samantha's face to the contrast of the brightened room around her. There was a swirl of light that seemed to be dancing above Samantha's head, almost as if she had a halo. The darkness that befell around her was her shadow but there were images of creatures and darker beings. "Sorry, if it's a bit spooky or anything. It was just what I saw. Not that I think you're scary, just that... well... not everyone is sweet." Jordan made sure that Samantha had the sketchbook before turning to look at Jasmine with a smile. "If you let me draw you, I wouldn't have to draw people who are uncomfortable." She stuck her tongue out at her friend before turning back to Samantha, "Well.... do you like it? Or should we burn it?"

[Samantha Driscoll]

At least she was polite enough to acknowledge that it might be an uncomfortable position for Samantha. She didn’t look at it at once; the notebook remained in her immobile hand while she tried to regain her composure. When she finally did look she did it with a nonchalant air that didn’t betray how she felt. But the façade lasted only for a few seconds. She stared at her depiction in enraged silence for a few moments. She felt a torrent of emotions grip her – this girl had caught her exact expression, and it was not a flattering one, not in Samantha's opinion at least – it captured her vulnerability, her moment of weakness, and the thing she hated most to see on her face and found difficulty admitting to anyone even herself – her fear.

And then Samantha had to make a big deal out of it, but that was who she was and the Slytherin side of her that just could not accept this. She forgot that Jordan and Jasmine were being polite and friendly. "Can't someone enjoy a decent meal without being spied on and then drawn? Did you not stop to think that?" she said, her low annoyed voice almost a snarl. Samantha had always had a way of making people feel as if they wanted the ground to just swallow them up, but there was an undercurrent of hurt in her voice that she could not quite hide. She tore her eyes from the sketch and dropped the notebook and looked at Jordan, her eyes cold. Her hands were shaking and she crossed her arms across her chest to hide it. It’s as if she knows me inside out, how a few lines and different shades can be so accurate and expressive is just dangerous and evil.

One hand went to her forehead, and she could her pulse racing as a vein throbbed against the touch of her fingers. She was not even thinking of claming down, the turmoil of emotions and mixed up thoughts inside her were too much – she was thinking of how much she had craved attention and the irony she that should finally have it in circumstances she hated and would've never dreamed of. And the reasons Jordan drew Sam were all the things she knew and couldn’t ever hide from - because she'd never met an ex-convict, because she'd never met anyone who'd come out of Azkaban with their sanity - someone who'd been a schoolgirl who wanted anything but to be like anyone else and then had wished she was like everyone else instead of what had happened to her. Or at least that was what the irrational and emotionally wrought girl told herself.

Outward fury masked the pain in her voice, and her eyes showed no emotion at all. Samantha still hadn’t learned how to show emotion to people she did not trust. "Let me tell you about my devilish side. You know what the last devilish thing I did was and where it got me – I cast the Cruciatus curse on a Death Eater and ended up in Azkaban. Let me tell you a little more about Crucio, there are different kinds – flavours if you will – when you cast it you see, there's muscle pain, there's bone pain and there's mental distress. It's - It's," her voice faltered. It always came back to the same thing – that horrible curse – Samantha was always torn between wanting to talk about it and not wanting to, and moments of tension like this drove her to the edge and made her lose her control of herself and her speech. It filled her with a disgust at herself and yet it she wanted to shout at people and tell them the hell with them and what they thought, she didn’t give a damn. So she said something to shock them and always ended up shocking herself – but it was hard for her to see that, it was still something she didn’t fully understand about herself to be able to deal with and move past.

All she had wanted was to be left alone. Was that so much to ask? Had she done so much wrong in the world that she could not have an hour of peace? Samantha didn’t know what to say or do now. She was looking at some spot between the two girls, she didn’t want to meet their eyes. She couldn’t. The pain had been too evident in the picture as had been the weakness that Samantha just couldn’t forgive Jordan or realise that she he had not meant to offend her.

[Jordan Elizabeth Cortes]

Jordan watched as Samantha went from at least decently polite to a completely different creature. She raised an eyebrow in surprise and sat back in her chair at her remark about eating in peace. “Yeah, I guess that is rather difficult. It must be so terribly hard for you to have contact with the other humans in this world. My apologies, I was being so selfish in thinking you looked rather lonely and could use a polite conversation. Next time I’ll make sure to check the bright neon sign that’s hanging over your pretty little head.” The sarcasm that was hanging from her words was so thick that Jordan almost scolded herself mentally for it, but she had no reason to. Samantha most definitely did not have any type of pass or reason to be rude to her or to Jasmine. Jordan wasn’t about to let her step all over them for being kind and polite. Jordan glared slightly at Samantha as the older girl started to go on and on. She found herself wanting to roll her eyes and stand up and just going. If she was going to be this dramatic, Jordan didn’t want to be around. Samantha was causing a scene over nothing, a simple drawing, a drawing that could pertain to anyone. Jordan was completely unimpressed, if that was what Sam was even trying to do, with her actions. The pressing of the hand to her forehead, everything, it was just all overdone. Jordan had seen it from many other people in her seven years at Hogwarts, and the funny thing was they were all Slytherins.

With an unimpressed shrug, Jordan cocked her head to the side and cast a look at Jasmine. “Ooh,” she looked back over to Samantha, “I guess that makes you a big bad torturer then, doesn’t it? Tell me, how does it feel? Knowing that you had enough hatred inside that little body of yours to cast such a spell? Did you enjoy it? Did you like what you felt when the power surged from your body and tortured the Death Eater? Did you enjoy it enough to do it again?” Jordan leaned forward, her elbows on the table, her eyes locked on Samantha’s which held no emotion. Jordan knew she had emotion inside her, though, who couldn’t after they did such a terrible thing? “Moments ago you asked if I stopped to think that you wouldn’t want to be drawn. I did. I came to a quick decision, but I did think. I always think before I do things, which is definitely more than I can say for you.” She wondered how much that comment would sting her, if it would at all. Jordan didn’t mean it to hurt her, but Samantha was dwelling on something that shouldn’t be dwelled upon. It wasn’t something that was easy to get over, but by out casting herself and beating herself up over it she wasn’t ever going to get better. Jordan knew that better than an average person would, but you wouldn’t be able to tell with how she was now.

Jordan continued to stare at Samantha a moment and then she smirked before leaning over and grabbing the sketchbook off the table in front of her. Closing the cover of it and slipping it into her bag, Jordan turned back to Samantha. “It must be eating you up inside, that’s what the problem is, isn’t it? You don’t really have that big of a problem with me drawing you, although it made you uncomfortable. You just couldn’t stand to see what I saw when I looked at you. Well, let me fill you in on a little secret, Sam.” Jordan smirked again, knowing that this side of her wasn’t something that was often seen in a Hufflepuff. “You aren’t doing a very good job at hiding your vulnerability from the world. Imagine if it had been someone else who had seen it… what would happen then? Would you crucio them, too?”

[Samantha Driscoll]

Samantha wished she could block out the words coming out of Jordan's mouth. Why was it that you could close your eyes when you didn’t want to see something but you couldn’t; close your ears if you didn’t want to hear something else? Her sarcasm was more than Samantha could bear and she looked away, hating Jordan for being so brutally honest and hating herself for letting it affect her for so much. But when the mocking ended and the cruel words that were completely untrue, yes, they were, it was one thing Samantha knew more than anything else. “NO! No, I WOULD NOT,” Samantha said, her eyes filled with rage at the idea. “Never again,” she said. It was the one thing she knew above all else, she could never, ever do that again, not even to save her own life.

And then Samantha was able to stop hating herself because what Jordan had uttered was just false accusations, stories Samantha had been wondering if people believed and now knew that some did. And she had the words to defend herself, had the will, and most importantly, had the right and knew she did. “You don’t know what happened! If you saw your own brother go through the abuse and excruciatingly painful torture that you had been through yourself and couldn’t believe you survived to tell the tale, believe me, if you were in my shoes, you’d have done it too! I NEVER, NEVER I tell you managed to cast that curse, and I wanted to so much before then. And then it was my brother - ” she faltered, and her voice broke. She was breathing heavily now. She stopped for a few moments to try and calm down, but she wasn’t finished yet. Blue eyes, earnest blue eyes and a small supporting hand came into her head. “My brother was attacked by those Death Eaters. I had to give them a taste of their own medicine, it all happened in a flash, all happened before I knew what I was really doing,” she said. She was almost completely calm now. She was learning to forgive herself, but she wasn’t going to tell Jordan that.

“I may be – I may be vulnerable, and maybe not everyone hated people seeing them that way. But if I was wrong to hate you capturing that, I’m not wrong to hate you for thinking I can still do a crime like that,” she said, and now her eyes were alive. There was no hatred, but simple acceptance of her fate. People were going to judge her based on her past life – and perhaps that was why she best sever all ties with and people she’d known at Hogwarts or the people who’d recognise her. Some people understood her after she told her story, but if Jordan didn’t; well Samantha was going to have to make peace with the fact that she could be comfortable with herself. And she at least today she hadn’t pointed fingers like she had with William, but then they’d both done that and gotten over it. Somehow, she didn’t seeing it happening with Jordan right now. At this very awkward moment, their food arrived. Samantha thought she should just wolf it down and leave, but she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t break the hard work of the last few weeks of developing good eating habits. She had nowhere to look, so she looked at her plate. The ball was in Jordan’s field now, maybe she’d have the sense to take her friend and leave.

[Jasmine Anderson]

Jasmine smiled warmly at the older girl as she introduced herself. Samantha Driscoll. It sounded so familiar, but Jasmine couldn’t wrap her mind around what it was. Staring at the older girl intently, she rested her elbows on the table, her head in her hands. Rolling her eyes toward Jordan, Jasmine stuck out her tongue out at her friend. “Why would I want you to drawl me? There’s nothing special about me. Too many other people out in the world are more fascinating than I am,” she replied to Jordan’s comment glancing at the sketchbook as it went across the table. It was absolutely breath taking. Jasmine always wished she could drawl like Jordan could, but she couldn’t even drawl a stick person. How pathetic was that? “After all, this is most definitely going to be your biggest masterpiece of all. Ten times better than what you can drawl of me.” Sticking her tongue out again at Jordan she looked back at the sketchbook as Samantha looked over the drawling. “She really has a talent of bringing out what people really feel in her paintings. Jordan won’t drawl anything that doesn’t stand out to her.” Looking up at her friend she sent a teasing smile. By the look on Samantha’s face, the older girl didn’t seem to be quite captivated by the drawling as she was. “Is there something wrong?” Jasmine asked in a concerned voice looking back at Samantha, studying her face. All of a sudden she just completely flipped out on them. Sighing, Jasmine glanced back over at her friend, raising her eyebrow.

Watching the girl carefully, Jasmine fiddled with the strap of her purse. She looked down at it as Samantha gave out a rather rude snarl toward them. Jasmine was never good at dealing with situations such as these. Luckily, she had Jordan there, who was right on the older girl’s case. They continued bickering at each other, the argument suddenly going into a whole new personal direction. Looking up as she heard about the Crucio curse, it suddenly snapped back to her. It was just two years ago when Death Eaters swarmed into Hogwarts during a Defense against the Dark Arts class against vampires. Samantha had Crucioed a death eater to protect her younger brother, who happened to be a Hufflepuff. Samantha had been sent to Azkaban for that crime, even though she was only using it to protect her brother and herself. That seemed almost wrong to Jasmine. So many people used that curse for a bad way, but she just used it for protecting herself. Yes, it was against the wizarding law, but there had to be circumstances. Azkaban for a seventeen year old? That had to be hard on this.

Jasmine was beginning to understand where Sam was coming from. She was still scared and the picture Jordan drew just set something off. Anyone could go off about something like that. Once the argument stopped, Jasmine stared back and forth at the two shaking her head. Resting her hand on top of Jordan’s, she sent her friend a look that said to stay. Looking back over at Samantha Jasmine smiled. “Were not going to leave…do you mind if I call you Sam?” Jasmine asked with a small smile leaning forward over the table. Taking the sketchbook, she handed it back to Jordan. “I know that you would never do a crime like that again, but why did you over react to such a small thing of a drawling. You knew that you felt vulnerable to the world, why not just talk to someone about it?” Glancing over back at Jordan she gazed back at Sam nodding her head. “How about we talk about something else…is there anything interesting you’ve done?”

((Yes...Yes.. I'm late, but I posted. Jazz has been such a big pain though.))

[Jordan Elizabeth Cortes]

There’s a fine line between regret and complete shame. Regret, an emotion that completely depends upon the person feeling it to administer how strong they feel it, is the weaker of the two. Shame, an emotion that cannot be controlled at all, is the strongest. When a person felt shame, that person could not possibly control the fact that they are ashamed. It was difficult to distinguish one from the other when you weren’t the one who was ashamed or regretting anything. Standing on the outside looking in makes it difficult to figure out if the person could ever truly move on from the event or if they would forever stay in the purgatory of knowing they had done something so horrendous. That was where Jordan was at this moment as she looked at Sam. Was Sam ever going to be able to live her life at least semi-normally, or would she be forever stuck in the purgatory of shame? It was one thing to regret saying something, or doing something; but it was another to regret and be ashamed by it. To live with the regret is doable, to live with the shame isn’t. Jordan knew what it was like to live with shame, and it took her years to get over it. Which was why she wasn’t going to leave Sam, even though that’s what she was asking. Was it necessarily what she wanted? Jordan wasn’t so sure.

Jordan didn’t say anything as Sam spoke. She didn’t say anything as Jasmine spoke. She didn’t say anything at all. Her eyes remained on Sam even as Jasmine spoke about understanding Sam or whatever. Jordan took the sketchbook back, but didn’t look at it. Her eyes remained on Sam. Finally, there was silence, and Jordan blatantly ignored Jasmine’s change of subject. She turned the page of the sketch book to a blank one and then placed it in front of Samantha, setting the pencil on top of the sketch book. “Show me, go on. Draw something. A simple line or two twisted into a distorted shape to represent confusion, perhaps. Or, maybe, even a few shapes in a row to show your desire for order. Art is expressive, Sam, it’s something that makes everything a little bit easier to understand. You regret doing it, that’s fairly obvious; but you still harbor some emotion about it and that’s the issue.” She reached over slowly, fully aware that Sam could possibly throw something at her for what she was about to do but not caring, and grabbed the older girl’s hand. Jordan picked up the pencil with her other hand and pressed it into Sam’s. “Draw.”

She looked at Sam before leaning back into her seat, her arms crossed. It was completely up to Sam whether or not she would draw, but there it was. The option was set in front of her. “Look,” Jordan said quietly, “I’m nobody to you, and I don’t expect my opinions to matter. But it seems to me that sometimes life takes us down paths we don’t want to go down. We can’t do anything about it, we can only follow the path and learn to adjust to where it leads us. You need to adjust, and you need to be able to say that you have adjusted or else you won’t be able to live at all anymore. You’ll forever be this way, wary about who is watching you and what they are seeing. That’s no way to live.”

[Samantha Driscoll]

Samantha looked at Jasmine with a contorted face. She was letting the pain completely consume her, and she knew it, but she was so far gone in her state of dismay and shame that she couldn’t control anything any more. How could she explain to them why she went completely to pieces every time someone confronted her about her reality, even if they didn't mean to hurt her? It had been two extremes for Sam, her first seventeen years she was a mask, an ice queen that appeared to the whole world to be unfeeling, impenetrable, almost not even alive. The two girls in front of her were normal human beings, who'd been allowed to express sadness and happiness and any other feeling they'd wanted at any time and in the manner they wished, and so they'd learnt how to behave in front of others and yet it hadn’t eaten away at their soul because while they knew what their limits were, the circle hadn’t been as tight as around Samantha, who'd been taught that what you felt and what you showed were two completely different things. And so now, now that the boundaries had been shattered and her world had turned outside down because she'd learnt that everything she'd been taught was wrong and inhumane, Samantha had to define those things for herself all over again. And she didn’t know where to begin and she'd found herself emotionally all over the place, because she'd lost all control. And it was almost against her will that she'd behaved as she had, because Azkaban had left her a completely broken girl. And now she was thrust into the real world all on her own with her own rules and completely free. Samantha didn’t really know what to with her freedom, it was something that most often scared her than excited her.

"That's exactly it. Today, today is the first time I'm really doing anything interesting. Every thing before that I want to – leave behind," she said sadly. Her face relaxed now, the words had been said and she needed to explain and for a moment she looked away from Jasmine and concentrated on just getting them out. "Sometimes I wake up and think that I can leave all that – but I've always had the path laid out for me, all I had to was join the dots in my life, and now, I'm very much alone. I feel like a waste of space, and when I meet people I wish I had stories to tell them about myself that didn’t make me feel so – different and lost," she said. She'd started the way already, but was still struggling every time an obstacle came up. Even something like finding an apartment was difficult, she was torn between finding a place with too many people and a place were there was no-one and she was so scared of living on her own. But eventually she'd found a place she liked, with what looked like warm neighbours who'd said they were looking forward to her joining their community. "You may," she said, very quietly.

She listened to Jordan, first refusing then acquiescing to her request. "I don’t know how to do this," she said but then she looked into Jordan's eyes for a moment. "Give me a few minutes," she said. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind and focus on one positive thing, one positive memory. She found herself thinking of Kris, her best and only friend. And for a moment she was a hundred miles away at her mansion staring at his present to her, her new horse, whom Sam had named Liberty. Their stable boy had ridden on her, Samantha had just watched and inside her felt torn between wanting to learn to ride the horse and complete fear at trying it. Liberty was what Sam wanted to know how to deal with – she wanted to learn how to be the hero of her own life, how to live fearlessly. Samantha drew the horse, her lines shaky and his body parts proportioned a little strangely, but you could tell it was a horse. Her hand lingered for a moment on the drawing as she almost drew herself in riding it but decided against it.

[Jasmine Anderson]

Jasmine’s calm eyes stared across the table at Sam as she waited for a reply. Her hands found the edge of the purse, beginning to twirl the handle around between her fingers. Most people had different nervous habits like biting nails, hair twirling, but she liked to fiddle with things. Though, there wasn’t anything to be nervous about, Jasmine just needed something to mess around with. When Sam finally spoke, her fingers stopped twirling the strap at the girl’s words. Was this the first step for change for Sam? Did sitting with people she normally didn’t, talking to them was a step toward something new? Jasmine didn’t know too many Slytherins who associated with muggle-borns or half-blood. Actually, she didn’t know any Slytherins at all, but it didn’t stop them from making fun of anyone. Sam was different though now. She was like that at one point of her life, but now she was lost, as she put it. Jasmine stared more contently at Sam, her head tilted to the side slightly. “No one is a waste of space, Sam,” she began nodding while tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear. “There’s always a point in everyone’s lives where they feel lost and unwanted….” Jasmine stopped as she bit her lip trying to find the right words to help Sam. She knew she couldn’t make the girl feel like she knew herself, which was what San had to do for herself. “Life is about trying to find yourself, but you can’t just sit around and mope about it. If you want to make new friends, start over, you have to learn to accept who you are, and if you don’t know who you are, then maybe you should spend your time trying to find that person,” Jasmine continued leaning her elbows on the table as she continued to stare at Sam. “Don’t let your life pass by even if you had a couple bumps in the road.”

Leaning back into her chair, Jasmine watched as Jordan handed Sam the notebook asking her to drawl what she saw. Looking curiously at her friend next to her, Jasmine didn’t say anything as she stared down at the hard wood table. Jordan seemed to be going somewhere with this. Fiddling with the strap once again, Jasmine though over what Sam had told her. Was there really a way to help her feel confident again? To help her move on with life? Not saying a word, Jasmine sat quietly as Sam seemed to be drawling on the paper. Jasmine found herself quite curious to see what she was drawling. She wanted to know what else was going on in this older girl’s mind. Looking up from the table, she stared at Sam’s hand, which covered the pencil drawling. She seemed to be debating over something. Scooting closer to the girl, Jasmine hands lingered on the ends of the notebook. “Do you mind?” she asked quietly looking at Sam for a moment before taking the sketchbook away from her. Setting it down on the table in front of her, Jasmine stared down at the white page. It looked like she drawled a horse. Instantly, her eyes lit up as she stared over at the girl. “Do you like horses?” Jasmine asked looking back down at the paper making sure she got the figure in the drawling correct. Well, it had four legs, a large middle area, mane and tail, and a muzzle. That most defiantly was a horse and Jasmine knew horses.

“I own a couple horses myself,” Jasmine told Sam, as she handed the drawling back to her. “Been riding ever since I was young…do you ride?”