The End of Make Believe ((Kennedy))

[Fiona O'Reilly S5]

Fiona's head hung slightly in the darkened common room. How long she'd actually been sitting there staring into the fading embers of the fire was anyone's guess. Her blue/green eyes could not part from the glowing embers as her arms wrapped tight around her legs trying to quench the chill that had begun to run up and down her spine. She was cold...outside and in. Her eyes could no longer cry the tears she so desperately wanted to cry. Her body could no longer shake or tremble with sobs of loneliness or heartache. No, the truth of the matter was that things had gotten so far out of control that there was no turning back, no saving of souls or hearts. Blond hair fell across her face obscuring part of her few of the room. Her body felt numb on the black leather sofa. She was dying inside or maybe she had already died. The fact was that things were coming to an end for her and she finally realized that. It was only a matter of time before everyone in her life disappeared and she was left alone...like she always knew she'd be.

Flash of black and a figure appeared, tearing from her grasp the remainder of a partial paper heart. Tearing the fragile blood red paper to pieces, Fiona was left sobbing, falling to her knees and picking up the pieces of the paper, trying to force them back together with the broken wand she pulled from her wand. "Reparo....Reparo....Reparo!" she cried out at the object, but still the broken wand did not light, nor did it perform the simple spell. She sat in the total blackness staring at the blood red confetti now scattered around her, sobbing. All was dark and all was gone...she was alone. All alone in the darkness of her dream, dying in the same way she had always imagined...all alone and in darkness. Never finding life, light, or love. Her eyes dimming severely she accepted her fate and crawled into a ball, waiting for the end of time.

Fiona's eyes bolted open. The embers now only a slight color of red in the fireplace, hardly giving off any light at all. She had fallen asleep...or had this image of her life been real. Her hands moved from her legs and slowly snaked into her pocket, digits wrapping around the cool wood of her wand. She withdrew it slowly, a breath caught in her throat as she looked at the perfectly shaped wood. It was still whole...still unbroken from the dream she had just had. The wand that had been the last present from her father...the wand that Kennedy had spent so much on to get fixed when she had gotten hurt. It had meant so much to her in the last few months. It had come to represent all the fears in her being extinguished. So many things had happened and most of them bad, but there had been one constant happiness and that had been Kennedy. But now...now things were strained...all most shattered. How much she wanted to blame Cassandra Blackfire for that, but Fiona knew better. There was really only one person to blame for their strained relationship and that was herself for lying to him. She had shared so much with him, but had never once told him about being apart of Chosen. The one group that had in their power the right to kill a traitor to their cause, to extinguish anyone that came in their way, especially one of their own. Fiona had been afraid for herself, but more-so for Kennedy. His life was just as much, if not more, in danger if he had knowledge of the truth, but now...now he knew and Fiona had no way to fix that between them.

The image of a newspaper clipping popped into Fiona's chaotic mind and she sighed in pain and sorrow as Cassandra's laughing face shown brightly and the almost content look on Kennedy's face. A fresh tear escaped down her cheek and she didn't bother moving to wipe it away. It had been one of many that had fallen since she had found herself in this position. Hogwarts was supposed to be the best few years of her life, but for the last three years she had found herself in more and more pain. Her heart falling to pieces, only to be rebuilt clumsily by her own hands, and then ripped apart again. Just like now. Her legs slowly moved away from her chest as she sat up a little her head falling into her outstretched palms. How could she go on? How could she apologize to Kennedy and tell him just how much she didn't mean to do what she did? Their relationship was hardly that anymore as it was. She loved him so much, but it had been a long time since they had truly been happy together. He was still her friend...her boyfriend...her one and only love.

Fiona's thoughts stopped abruptly as she heard a sound echo through the dark common room. Her body pulled in on itself and she sat huddled on the sofa once more, listening intently to see if what she heard was true and as the sound of muted footsteps drifted to her ears she slowly moved. She wasn't about to be caught up this late at night, especially if it was a prefect. She didn't need her house to lose any more points. Her feet stepped toward her dorm staircase, but stopped dead as the lights in the common room blared to life and she turned to face the offender. Her heart stopping briefly as blue/green orbs locked with darkened ones. Mouth suddenly going dry as she tried to swallow. "Kennedy..." she said softly.

[Kennedy Valak S6]

The beginning of the school year had been less than desirable for Kennedy. He had somehow turned himself into a social loner for the most part, a result of his trying to escape the frustrations that his relationships with Fiona and Cass had caused. Maybe he was being selfish for trying to avoid them at all cost, but Kennedy didn't know what else there was that he could do. It was as if the vase had been broken, and Kennedy was left with nothing more than fragments of glass and so many wounds. Naturally, he began to fix the wounds, rather than bothering to mend the broken vase. His solitude had been his healing grace as of late. It didn't help though that as much as he felt he was healing from the experience, the scars seemed to tease his every being. He could walk away, healed, but could he ever forget?

Finalizing his weekly prefect rounds, Kennedy turned a dark corner in the corridors of the dungeons. It had been a quiet night, much to his relief. Prefect duties could often become tedious, and now that Mack seemed to be spending so much time with Alex, Kennedy had a feeling that she had occasionally let her duties slip just to enjoy the extra time with her boyfriend. Kennedy didn't blame her though. She and Promise were some of the few friends he had now, at least they were of the few that he felt comfortable sharing things with. Again though, Kennedy knew he had only isolated himself. He just needed to keep convincing himself that it was the right thing to do.

Kennedy entered the Slytherin common room, ready to go to his room and get some sleep. The nice thing about arriving back to the dorm so late was that he didn't have the worry that he might run into someone like Fiona or Pyro. Granted, he had to share a room with Pyro, but at least with Pyro, Kennedy knew that the avoidance was going both ways. Well, at least Pyro would avoid him until something needed to be done about Kennedy knowing about the Chosen. Nothing had came about from it yet, but Kennedy still kept his guard.

Fiona on the other hand... that was a different story. Kennedy was still dreading when he would have to confront her. Deep down he hoped that she was secretly avoiding him to, and that perhaps she had moved on, healing her own wounds. It was sad, really, how the two of them had gotten so close, and to see them now so far away was disheartening. But Kennedy would still argue it was for the best, and that's what he knew he would have to do if Fiona couldn't see it that way. Another part of him hoped that maybe she would hate him for walking away. At least then it would make it easier for her to do the same. Kennedy could live with that, as long as it meant some sort of peace for her in the end. There would be no peace if she kept pursuing him, or at least he didn't see the possibility in that.

Turning on the lights to check the common room for the last time of the night, Kennedy was about to ascend the stairs to the boys' dormitory before almost turning into someone. He was about to ask why they were out so late before realizing who it was. Fiona's soft voice held so much depth to it. It was difficult for Kennedy to decide if it was full of hatred, sadness, relief, or even a bit of shock. Most likely, he concluded, it was a mixture of the lot. He opened his mouth to reply, but couldn't find the words within him. How do you sum up an entire months worth of words and explanations into a concise statement? It just wasn't possible.

"Hi," he muttered finally. Kennedy stood for a few seconds, waiting to see if she would react first. It was an awkward moment, quite like Kennedy had imagined it would be. "It's for the best," he added, knowing very well that it wouldn't suffice. But he had to say something. Apologizing seemed worthless, and so he skipped right to an explanation. "I don't know where your thoughts are on this, Fiona, but us being over... it's best for both of us, really." He spoke with great hope that she would agree, but deep down he knew that it would come a quite a cost. Even if she did agree or want them to be over as well, it wasn't going to just end all nice and happy. Nothing in their relationship was ever easy from the beginning. What made it different now?

[Fiona O'Reilly S5]

"It's for the best?" Fiona asked, trying to compose herself, to breathe deep and not lose all the control she had gained in the last few months away from Kennedy. Her hands balled into fists and then unballed once again. How can he just throw off our relationship like that? After all we've been through... Fiona turned her face away from Kennedy not wanting to look at him, knowing that if she did he'd be able to see the weakness in her eyes, knowing that he'd see the tears that were located just on the brim of her eyes. She breathed deep trying to calm herself...her heart as it beat fast and painful. A hand ran down her arm, rubbing at it as if a hand had been there before. She shook her head slowly, before she gathered enough composure to say something else.

"How could you say that? After everything we've been through? After all the times we've had together. Here you are saying it's better that we're not together. That it's better that the one person I could trust in my life is no longer apart of it. You let me love you!" Fiona cried out in anger as she balled her fists again ready to lunge at Kennedy. She shook her head in anger and pain. "I should have known better than to trust you Kennedy Valak. I should have just dropped you the minute I knew you had fallen for Cassandra Blackfire. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Guess I should have listened to my father's words more than ever. Guess I was bound to be alone. Thank you Kennedy for proving to me that being numb to the world is better than caring for the world."

Fiona's eyes were dark and tears no longer rimmed her irises. She had closed herself off again, back to the state she had been when her parents had died. She could care less about those around her now and she was definitely to the point that cracking under the pressure was a certainty. Fiona felt her heart die a little inside, knowing that the person she loved most was in front of her refusing to be with her, refusing her love. "It's for the best," Fiona mimicked coldly, her hands crossing over her arms.

[Kennedy Valak S6]

Kennedy prepared for the rant that he could sense the minute Fiona opened her mouth. He let her go though, taking in every last word as though he deserved it... because he did. Fiona also deserved to be able to be mad at him and express that anger. She made good points, very good points, and it hurt Kennedy to know that he had been the one to cause her so much pain. He hoped that what she said wasn't true though. He hoped that some day she could trust again; someday she could love again. But deep down, he knew that he was doing the right thing, too. It was ironic that it was his selfishness that had caused the rift between them in the first place, and now, Kennedy felt that he was doing the least selfish thing possible. If Fiona thought that his walking away from her was easy, she was wrong. It killed him inside too. Kennedy wanted nothing more than to be able to go back and change the past, but he knew it was also impossible.

"I... I'm sorry," Kennedy was able to get the words out. Though he wouldn't apologize to many, he knew that Fiona deserved it, and he wanted to be able to give her at least that. "I'm sure it doesn't mean much to you, Fiona, but I really am sorry." He felt like there was really nothing more he could say to her, despite the fact that she seemed to want more answers, more explanations, or maybe even for him to say that he was wrong. But, no matter what, Kennedy couldn't find it in himself to think that this was wrong. It hurt. It hurt him a lot, but it still felt right.

"And... it's not Cass," he felt that he needed to clarify this. Fiona would surely be enraged at his mentioning of Cass, but Kennedy wanted her to know the truth. "Cass isn't the reason I'm walking away. Yes, she had me under her spell for a time, but that's beyond everything now. Fiona, we may have trusted one another... I may have been the one person you felt you could come to... but we were only lying to ourselves. Can't you see that now? We were never really truthful with one another. How can you stand here and pretend that you want what we used to have when you know now that all we used to have was a lie? Do you want to go on living a naive life, thinking that everything is perfect when you know it's not? We made mistakes, and we need to learn from those mistakes, Fiona. I can't allow myself to put you in another situation where I might hurt you. If we're together, then I can hurt you again, and I don't want to do that." Kennedy felt so weak and so helpless. He knew that he'd have given anything for Fiona's happiness, but even if he was her happiness, he brought her so much pain at the same time.

[Fiona O'Reilly S5]

Fiona's facade seemed to slip slightly as she took in his words. Not just listened to them, but actually comprehended them. She felt her mind slip a little, probably from lack of sleep, but nevertheless something inside her felt like it was being crushed, suffocated, dying. Blue green eyes softened and she felt herself weaken. Water seemed to seep into her lids and she fought hard to keep control of the tears, to keep her emotions in check. She wasn't about to let Kennedy see her weak again. Memories flashed before her. She recalled the time she first met Kennedy. The day of the Halloween ball last year, the day she found herself crying, weakened in every sense of the word. Kennedy had stuck by her then. The very first day she had met him she had been such an emotional roller coaster that she found herself on the ground, crying and screaming, yet he didn't run away. He didn't turn tail and leave her alone in her tears, in her pain. No he stayed with her. She closed her eyes briefly to try to rid the images from her mind, only to have them replaced with the next set of images. Cold, alone, dying in the abyss of the dungeons. Broken she had laid there until someone found her and that someone had been Kennedy. Image after image bombarded her mind, reminding her of all the times Kennedy had been there for her. How he had saved her life, fixed the most important thing to her, and believed her in everything she said. Her hand moved absentmindedly to her wand in her pocket, the cold wood that had been broken, irreversible damage, or at least she had thought. Then when Kennedy had presented it to her in the hospital wing it was at that moment that she fell in love with him. It was then that she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him...but now...now he was leaving her.

Fiona's hands shook slightly as she dropped her gaze from him. Her blue green eyes filling softly with a fluid that she refused to admit were tears. She breathed in deep before rubbing her face with her hand. She couldn't get the images out of her mind. She couldn't get Kennedy out of her mind. She wanted so much just to have things better. But Kennedy was right, to want things to go back to the way they were would be a lie. Fiona had tried to keep him safe from the Chosen. But now...now she realized that she shouldn't have lied to him. She should have told him the truth from the very beginning no matter the consequence. She wanted more than anything to take back that mistake, to tell him everything, but...but it was too late for that. Their relationship was destroyed...destroyed by her and her inability to trust anyone completely even those she treasured the most.

Fiona cleared her throat, the moments of silence finally getting to her. She closed and opened her eyes, holding back the tears, letting her numb body slowly let go, letting herself feel the pain, she sighed before opening her mouth. The words she wanted to say seemed to get stuck in her dry mouth and she tried to force her mouth to create enough saliva for her to say her peace. She brushed her a strand of blond hair behind her ear before looking him in the eye, finally able to speak, finally able to let go. "I'm sorry Kennedy. I'm sorry for lying to you, for not letting myself trust you completely. And I'm sorry that things had to end this way," Fiona turned from him, her eyes finally releasing the tears, but she did not look back as she headed toward her dorm. "I'll always love you..." the words were soft as she widened the distance between them. She didn't know if he could hear her, she didn't care. She just had to say it...one last time.

[Kennedy Valak S6]

Perhaps his words were finally making sense for Fiona. Kennedy watched as something seemed to tangibly crash into her like a wave. He had a feeling that it was the result of reality sweeping over her, and at that moment the urge was so strong for him to want to save her from that wave. He wished that Fiona might be saved from the bitter stinging that he had been left with after the wave had done its part of him But part of him, the part that was unshakable in the thought that he was doing the right thing, that part of him made him stay rooted to the ground as Fiona was standing in front of him. Silent.

When Kennedy saw what was undoubtedly the beginning of tears forming in Fiona's eyes, he clenched his chest which was filled the sharpest pain. A few tears came to his own eyes as the two of them were standing, both dripping wet with the reality of their situation. It was over. Kennedy could see it in Fiona's eyes whether she'd admit it or not. For once, both of them realized that it was really over.

Kennedy was about to speak, but was relieved to hear Fiona speak first. He wasn't even sure what he would have said. As an apology drifted from her lips and through the heavy air to his ears, Kennedy wished she wouldn't have done that. She wasn't supposed to apologize. It only made him realize that it really wasn't all her fault, not that he wasn't admitting his own wrongs. Kennedy just hated being reminded that they had both made mistakes. He wished that perhaps the few things that they had done right would be enough to cover up their mistakes. But this was not the case.

After she apologized, another brief moment of silence shrouded them, until Fiona turned from him. Kennedy did feel a momentary release of something, but it was instantly followed by the most gut-wrenching feeling that he had ever experienced as Fiona walked away. Though he had thought it was best and even told himself he was ready for goodbye, nothing could have truly prepared him for this moment. He wanted so many things to happen at that moment. He wanted to die. He wanted to run after Fiona and start all over again. He just wanted to do something besides stand there, pained beyond any explanation. But all he could do was stand. He stood and he watched as she disappeared. When she was gone, Kennedy took a quick breath, closed his eyes, and then everything went black...

((Thread done. I'm not sure if he passed out or just entered some alternate reality in his mind... he isn't dead though. He was just overwhelmed with emotion, and I couldn't come up with a satisfying ending otherwise. ))