The Pain is Unbearable ((Professor McGonagall))

[Lavender Brown]

Lavender looked in the mirror in her dormitory. She was losing weight and she could tell. It had been more than a month since Parvati's disappearance. Lavender had not eaten since. She could not even enter the Great Hall without the thought of Parvati riping through her brain. She knew there was nothing she could do to help her best friend...she had been a sister to Lavender. She sighed at the thought and swallowed the tears. The lines under eyes were dark as if Lavender had not slept well in ages. It was the truth. Lavender could not close her eyes without seeing something bad happening to Parvati. Her body trembled at the thought of what was happening to Parvati. She did not want to know. She did not want to see her friend in pain. Her long air hung limp and unkempt. It had been a long time since Lavender had even attempted to tame her air. She pressed her hands down her robes. They were wrinkled and looked baggy. She looked down at her hands. The color had drained from them. Her entire body had become pale and deathly white. It didn't seem to be from the fact that she had stopped eating, it looked like it had come from fear.

After a few moments, Lavender turned from the mirror. Her eyes were red from the attempts to keep from crying. She didn't seem to want to do anything lately. She had even been doing bad in class lately. She didn't know what to do. She thought about talking to her professors about it, but that just didn't appeal to her. She wanted to be free of the pain, yet she didn't want to involve her professors. She didn't even want to involve her friends that were still around. All she wanted to do was convince herself that she was fine. She didn't want to worry about anyone else. It was her fault that Parvati was gone. If she had only tried to grab onto Parvati instead of watch as she touched the crystal ball. If she had only touched the ball herself, then maybe Parvati would be okay.

Lavender shook her head of the thoughts as a tear ran down her face. She didn't want to deal with it. She didn't want to think about it. Lavender looked around the empty dormitory. It seemed that everyone was out having fun. Maybe she should go talk to someone. But who could she talk to? Could someone possibly convince her that it wasn't her fault? Could someone possibly convince her that Parvati was going to be all right? Of course they couldn't. No one knew for sure that Parvati was okay. She doubted that even Professor Trelawney would be able to predict that.

At that second Lavender had a prevailing thought. She turned around and headed toward her trunk. She had received a crystal ball for Christmas this year. If anything could tell her that Parvati was all right it could. She pulled out the ball and sat it on top of the trunk. She concentrated and stared into the ball. An image began to emerge from the darkened clouds of the crystal ball. The image bended to the right and right before Lavender's eyes she saw a sign that made her cry. A steeple tall and dark bent to the right in the image. She remembered the meaning of this sign. She didn't have to look it up in Unfogging the Future. It meant trouble. It meant disaster. Her hopes were going to be crushed and soon. Lavender's only hope was for Parvati's recovery. If this steeple was the image presented to her, then most assuredly Parvati would not be recovered.

Lavender quickly stood. She was not going to believe that Parvati would not be saved. She turned from the crystal ball and headed out of the dormitory. She was not going to sit in there and mope. She needed help. She needed to find someone wise and understanding. Someone she could trust. Her mind finally fell on one person, Professor McGonagall. She would be the perfect person. Lavender could trust her and she could tell Lavender all that she knew about Parvati. Lavender took off out of the common room and down the corridor. She was going straight to Professor McGonagall's office.

Lavender slowed and stopped outside the large door of Professor McGonagall's office. She took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing," Lavender whispered to herself as she raised her hand and lightly tapped on the door. As if by some sort of magic her knock reverberated down the empty corridor. She waited and listened to see if Professor McGonagall was in her office.

[Professor Minerva McGonagall]

Minerva eyed her handwriting thoughtfully. Her own hand-writing was small and tidy, all the t’s crossed and all the i’s had their dots. Her letters were evenly tilted to the right and the letters were small and grouped together. Neat hand-writing that wasn’t exactly difficult to read but it might have appared a bit too uptight. She had heard more than once that you could read a lot out from one’s handwriting and at the case of some of her students it was even true. But Minerva had never wondered about her own hand-writing. She had developed it when she herself was still a young girl in Hogwarts alongside with her character however good or bad that was. She was much too old to try and change very drastically now.

Ending the letter with best wishes and her name Minerva carefulyl tapped the excess ink away from the quill she had been using before placing it next to her ink-well. Blowing gently on the last words to make sure the ink there was dry Minerva folded the letter precisely and placed it into an envelope she had already wrote the address onto. Closing the envelope securely and makign sure it would not take water-damage should it start to rain Minerva stood. She had summoned one of the school owls previously and now all she had left to do was to hand the finished letter over to the owl. Feeding the owl a small cracker before opening the window and letting the magnificent bird fly away Minerva closed the window quickly not staying near it to watch the bird fly away. She had seen enough owls fly in her lifetime to have to observe one more. She could use her time much more practically by grading essays her students had wrote.

Minerva couldn’t spend very much time concentrating on her work however. A knock sounded on the door and Minerva couldn’t help but to wonder who might be coming to her at this time. She wasn’t even supposed to supervise any detentions today.
„Come in.“ Minerva watched the door opening and looked at a 7th year student standing behind the door. Miss Lavender Brown. Minerva knew that she had been good friends with the poor Patil girl who had been kidnapped. „Come on in and close the door, miss Brown.“ Minerva pushed the essays she was yet to grade to the side and put her quill down. As a head of house not only did she help her students choose the best careers for them and advise them as to which subjects to continue with, she often listened to worries her students did not for some reason wish to share with their friends.
„Take a seat miss Brown. May I offer you some tea?“ Minerva stood from her seat and walked over to the cupboard in the corner. A tap of her wand was all that was neede to make the tea in the teapot there steaming again as the sweet smell of it flew over the classroom. Miss Brown most likely wished to pour out some of her worries and fears and problems and Minerva would listen and try to help to her best of abilities. However she would not pressure the girl into saying anything unless she was ready. Pouring the tea into a cup Minerva turned around and looked questioningly at miss Brown to see if she would also desire some of the hot drink. This seemed to become a long talk after all.

[Lavender Brown]

Lavender entered Professor McGonagall's office. She was already upset and she didn't know if she could even get the words out of her mouth. Professor McGonagall's asked if she wanted a cup of tea and all Lavender could do was nod her head as she took a seat across from McGonagall's chair behind her desk. She didn't know what to say about Parvati. She didn't even know how to react. She had been crying so much lately. Lavender took a deep breath and a tear escaped from her eye. She quickly wiped it away. She didn't want to cry, not in front of McGonagall. She looked up at her professor. Her eyes were blood shot and she knew that she probably looked horrible, but that wasn't a big deal to her at the moment. She just wanted to get everything out. She wanted McGonagall to understand, but she didn't know if her professor would understand her plight.

"I don't mean to barge in on you if you're busy, Professor. I just wondered if I could have a minute or two of your time. I'm a bit upset. I'd only like to talk if that's all right with you?" Lavender managed. She shook her head at what she said. If Professor McGonagall hadn't figured that she was upset by now than she was probably not going to be able to figure out what was wrong with Lavender. She realized how dumb she must have sounded. How weak her voice was in her mouth. It was like all the life in her had been sucked out. Like there was nothing left, but this emptiness that would not go away until Parvati was found. Lavender was going to try to avoid the topic off hand, but the thought of Parvati brought tears to her eyes again and she felt them slide down her cheek. However, she could feel the tears so close to the surface. She fought them down as she looked at her professor. She didn't know if she could help her or if she even wanted to listen to Lavender's problems. All she knew was that this was her only chance to get her frustration and anger out. She blamed herself so much that she couldn't see that what happened was not her fault. Lavender waited silently for Professor McGonagall's answer.

[Professor Minerva McGonagall]

Miss Brown was very clearly distraught. And she had all the reason to be after her closest friend had been kidnapped shockingly form the center of the Great Hall. It was only natural for her to feeling down the weather but Minerva hadn’t really expected her to be so emotionally vulnerable. Accepting the girls decision to have tea with a brief nod Minerva poured a cup for both herself and holding the white porcelain cup gently in her hands returned to her table. She did not sit in her regular chair knowing that the barrier her desk would create would be much to big to overcome at the moment. Drawing a chair out from air with her wand Minerva opted to seat herself on the same side of the desk in a position where she could clearly see miss Brown while there was still some distance between them as she handed miss Brown one of the teacups.

Politely leaving the girl the privacy to wipe away the tear on her cheek Minerva blew gently on the steaming tea. Taking two sips of the drink before placing the cup onto her lap Minerva looked at miss Brown calmly. “I am not in any rush, so take as long as you wish. I am always ready to listen to my students and you are not the only one nor are you the first one to seek my council recently, miss Brown.”
Minerva turned the teacup on the saucer trying to figure out what kind of an approach to take with miss Brown. All students were so different and some had to be handled with more delicacy than others. In her current mental position miss Brown belonged into the group of those who had to be handled very delicately.

“I understand that the kidnapping of miss Patil has been a cause of great uproar in the school as it has not only upset you. If I am correct in guessing what brought you here. You can be assured that everything possibly is being done by the very best professional to recover miss Patil as quickly as possible.” Minerva said quietly in an attempt to help miss Brown let out her biggest worry. Raising the teacup to her lips once again Minerva waited in serene silence for miss Brown to be ready to speak with her.

[Lavender Brown]

Lavender took the cup of tea from Professor McGonagall with a slight nod and a whispered thanks. She didn't have the heart to do more than that. She was a wreck and she knew it. But she couldn't help herself anymore. She tried to go into the Great Hall and she just couldn't. The memories of Parvati's disappearance were just too great. As for school, nothing seemed to matter anymore, except getting Parvati back. She wanted to fight her way out of her depression, by helping to find her, but she was only 17 years old, no where near trained enough to fight off a bunch of death eaters. If she tried she would certainly be killed. It was as easy as that. She would not be able to help. That was all assuming that Parvati had been killed the moment she went through that port key.

The thoughts swam through Lavender's head. She didn't silence them for the silence of her thoughts was even more deadly to her at the moment. She looked down at the steaming cup of tea and took a small sip. She felt the hot liquid touch her tongue and the instant singe of heat burnt her tongue. She didn't flinched at the burning, but instead swallowed the liquid. She could feel it burning it's way down her esophagus until it hit her empty stomach. She sighed as she lowered the cup back down wiping the tear that had begun to slide down her cheek away. Her thoughts silenced as Professor McGonagall began to speak. Silently Lavender listened and nodded. She didn't realize that others had been coming in to see her. Obviously more people were distraught about Parvati and the other disappearances than Lavender realized.

Taking a deep breath Lavender began to speak. It was a soft voice, like that of a scared child. So vulnerable and scared, like the way a child acts when they think the slightest sound will awaken the monster under the bed and then eat them alive once awake. "I've tried to accept that the ministry is working hard to get Parvati back, but..." her childlike voice faltered. Another deep breath in and then out. She didn't look at Professor McGonagall as she finished, "But what if it's too late to save her?" Her voice held such deep emotion that Lavender did not cry. At that moment she wanted reassurance that Parvati was alive, that maybe she was already home safe and that it was just being kept under wraps so that she wasn't in anymore danger. It's what Lavender wanted, but was it actually true?

((Sorry it took so long to answer...been a bit busy and all with school.))