Loss (Nokomis Astarra & Ivy Tunstall)

[Professor Pomona Sprout]

It was horrible, horrible news. News that never should have to be shared with anyone, let alone students.
These were the thoughts that were moving through Pomona's busy mind as she waited near the entrance to the Great Hall. The news was horrible, dreadful news, but when Albus confirmed it, she told him that she would be the one to inform some of the Quidditch members. She knew all the members of her house at least a little bit, and she knew that their fallen Hufflepuff was on the Quidditch team, and she recognized how close the sport made the team, both on the pitch and off. It was because of that that she had chosen Nokomis Astarra and Ivy Tunstall to share the news with. Astarra was the teams young captain, and she hardly ever saw the girl with out Tunstall around. It seemed fitting that they should be the ones to know first.

She waited patiently by the door, searching the steady flood of students for Hufflepuff robes. After what seemed like far too long, though she knew it was just the result of the dread building in the pit of her stomach, she recognized them.
"Astarra and Tunstall, would you please come over here with me for a moment?"

[Ivy Tunstall]

The sky which had been that strong, unforgiving iron grey earlier on this afternoon was now a dark mass of cloud above. You could tell there was cloud there, but you couldn't see it all. It was all a bit frustrating because you couldn't quite get to the bottom... or top of it. The sky wasn't black, it was a very dark grey still. You couldn't see the tiny pinpricks of light coming from the stars either. Ivy would be studying those again soon. She wasn't very good at astronomy. Light pollution in her Muggle neighbourhood ensured that she really couldn't see many of the stars. She'd stayed at a few friend's houses sometimes when she was littler, people who lived outside the suburbs, on farms, and there, if you were prepared to shiver as you stood outside, you could see so many more stars, and all of them were bright and clear, as well as fainter stars which you couldn't tell existed in brighter areas. Hogwarts was just as good on a night with no cloud, but Ivy just never had been very good at Astronomy. There was no rain falling now, as a little had earlier, but the air had a distinct chilly September feeling to it. It was colder than Somerset, where she had set off on her journey from Taunton station at another chilly hour of the morning when no one with any sense would be awake. She'd taken a train to Manchester and then changed to go on to King's Cross from there so that she could get the Hogwarts Express.

She'd been looking forward to seeing her friends again. She tended to start feeling rather isolated over the summer. She would miss the Ashtons, but it already felt good to be back amongst her friends. Ivy gave Nokomis beside her a smile at that thought as they walked up the steps to the castle along with the rest of the large crowd of students. Not a big one, but it was a smile which she'd given her best friend just to let her know that she was glad she was her friend. There was point in giving those smiles. They made her feel better, hopefully they made Nokomis feel happier. She didn't know how Nokomis interpreted them, but it didn't matter. A smile was a smile, and her smiles were usually friendly. She would always have a friendly smile for Nokomis. Nokomis was a great friend. Ivy was lucky with her friends. Nokomis and Laura and Sadie and Ashley and Charles and Kim. Plenty of good friends. She wouldn't be anywhere without friends.

People were saying the Hogwarts Express had been attacked by Death Eaters. People had said that. And the dread was growing in Ivy that they were right, because it made sense that that might have happened. They'd attacked Diagon Alley. No one had been able to stop them from attacking Digon Alley, not with all the Ministry security they had there. So if they'd put their mind to attacking the Hogwarts Express... they could well have succeeded. Even though Hogwarts was purportedly the safest place for them to be, if didn't feel so safe to Ivy. She had a feeling nowhere was safe nowadays. As it was, she was worrying about her friends and checking to see if she could see them all. She felt a huge rush of relief every time she saw one of them, uninjured, unharmed, and ready to start a new school year. She was a fourth year now. She was growing up, and it was weird. She didn't have anyone to talk to about it either. She wasn't sure she'd have felt comfortable talking about anyone to it. maybe that was what her mum was for. Was supposed to be for. Well, her mum wasn't interested.

They were going into the Great Hall now. Hang on... someone had just said her name. Her surname. That meant it was a teacher, because no one else would call her by her surname. Ivy looked around in alarm, broken from her reverie but unsure as to where she was supposed to be going. What had she done wrong? Certainly she'd been a little preoccupied just then, but she did hope that didn't mean she was in trouble. Nokomis seemed to be going towards Professor Sprout, the head of Hufflepuff house, so Ivy followed her, feeling slightly numb. Professor Sprout was looking terribly grim, and Ivy felt dread rising in her again. What could Professor Sprout want with her and Nokomis? From the look on her face, it couldn't be something good. Thoughts flashed through her mind... something was wrong, something was very wrong. But she subdued that thought she'd just had. No, it couldn't be. Everything would be fine. Everything was fine and everything would be fine, she told herself firmly, wishing she could believe herself.

[Nokomis Astarra H5]

Finally a 4th year, and finally back at Hogwarts. She couldn't help but think back to her first year, when she came to Hogwarts, so afraid that she would have done anything to disappear all together and she wished she was just a muggle so she didn't have to go to this school so far from home where she didn't know anyone. Now though, things were different. She loved magic now, and more than magic, she loved Quidditch. Now she had friends, like Sadie, and Ashley and Kim, but especially Ivy. Ivy had slowly become her very best friend, and she knew she never could have taken over the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team, and became captain if Ivy hadn't been there with her the whole time.

She was just entering the Great Hall, getting ready to start another year at Hogwarts, she tried to look around for Ivy. She was in the middle of her search when she heard someone yell out Astarra. It took her a moment for it to really sink in, that someone wanted her, and that it couldn't be a student. No one ever called her by her last name, except a professor, and she had never been called by a professor like this. She stopped in her tracks and looked over to see Professor Sprout, the head of the Hufflepuff House, standing near by, looking very glum. She made one last quick glance around before heading over to Professor Sprout, a heavy sick feeling growing back in her stomach.

[Professor Pomona Sprout]

Once she saw that the girls were coming toward her, she motioned for them to follow. There was no way she could share such dreadful news in the middle of such a pack! She turned, and let her short, quick strides carry her off to one of the far corners in the room, abandoned by all other students. Yes, here was a more appropriate way to share the horrible news she had to give the two young Hufflepuffs. She turned around so that she could face them, they were coming a long a few paces behind with expressions of dread on their faces. They were so young....fourth years if she remember correctly. That was far, far to young to have to deal with a death. But then the last time such a death had occurred on Hogwarts Property it was 3 years ago, and it had been another Hufflepuff, Cedric Diggory, Albus had to explain the death of.

She tried to regain her focus as the girls reached her. She had told Albus she would share this horrible news, and now was the time.
"Now girls, I have brought you here because I'm afraid that I have some horrible news that I must share with you. I believe it will be mentioned in the welcome speech and I could not that that be the first place that you hear it. Its such horrible news. I'm so sorry girls, I wish I didn't have to tell you this, but I couldn't have you hear it in the speech, no. That would not do. So I have to tell you. Well, I guess that I should get it over with. On the train, there was at attack. I'm not sure if you know. But the back of the train was attached, and there were a few injuries...and one student, one very unlucky student....was....was..." she had to pause for a moment to regain herself. This was the hard part. "I'm...well, um....Laura Pennington...She...she um....didn't survive."

[Nokomis Astarra H5]

Professor Sprout motioned for them to follow her as she walked away from the crowd of students entering the Great Hall. She glanced over to see if Ivy was coming too and smiled when she saw that her friend was with her. She had no clue what it was about, but Professor Sprout seemed anything but happy, and she was really glad that she didn't have to go do this alone. Professor Sprout took them to a pretty empty corner of the Great Hall and started to ramble a bit as it seamed. She said something about having horrible news, and Nokomis looked over at Ivy, the sick feeling in her stomach growing. She didn't say anything, instead she waited for the news to finally come out.

It seemed life forever and a single moment all at the same time, but finally it did. An attack. And something about Laura....not surviving. Suddenly she couldn't stand, he legs felt like rubber and no longer held up her legs. She reached a hand back with out thinking and grasped for Ivy. She didn't know what to do. or what to think. It couldn't be true. Laura was fine. She had seen her for a moment earlier, getting on the train before she went toward the front and Laura headed for the back. Her stomach cleaned and she put her other hand on it. "I think I'm going to be sick."

[Ivy Tunstall]

Ivy followed the glum looking Professor Sprout through the Great Hall. They seemed to be going to about the most deserted spot possible in it, and when Ivy looked back she couldn't see the Hufflepuff table. She felt as though a part of her was missing; cut off from her house. But Nokomis was still here so it would be all right. It had to be all right. But Professor Sprout couldn't have that grave look on her face for nothing. She told grim stories sometimes, yes, and seemed to enjoy doing so, but she never looked this concerned. Ivy almost missed the start of what she was saying because she was already sick with worry at what Professor Sprout wanted with her and Nokomis.

Professor Sprout didn't seem very keen to say what she was trying to say, and it prolonged Ivy's agony. Something horrible had happened... something horrible had happened. Professor Sprout was rambling rather in a way that was very unlike her, as if trying to put off the point, but Ivy hardly noticed this. She was too busy worrying, her mind racing. She wanted to run away and hide before Professor Sprout had a chance to say anything but she couldn't, Nokomis was here and she couldn't do that, so instead she moved closer to her best friend just as Professor Sprout finally came out with what she'd been going to say. And despite all the worry, it hit Ivy like a bullet. "No... no, it can't be," Ivy said, distraught as Nokomis grabbed onto her hand and suddenly she had to bear her weight. It wasn't much to take; Nokomis was light and skinny as she'd always been, but it was almost more than Ivy could cope with for a moment as she wanted just to let go and run away from this cruel, cruel world. "Not Laura... it can't have been Laura," Ivy said, frantically trying to think of having seen Laura. She couldn't remember having done so. She searched around desperately for some last thread of hope to cling onto. Then Nokomis was saying something about being sick, and still clinging onto Ivy. Ivy pulled her into an even more secluded alcove of the Great Hall where hopefully nobody would be able to see them because she didn't want Nokomis to be sick in front of everyone, feeling dazed and starting to feel slightly nauseous herself.

[Nokomis Astarra H5]

Her stomach clenched, and she buckled forward just as Ivy dragged her further into their corner, away from the rest of the Great Hall. She didn't know what to say or what to think. Her mind wouldn't think. Instead she just saw Laura getting on the train and heading toward the back over and over. She fought against sick feelings her body was sending her. She tried to tell herself that it was like quidditch. That she always felt sick before quidditch too, but nothing was ever as bad as it seemed. She told herself that everything was going to be fine. But then, and image of Laura would cross her mind again and her stomach knotted further.

She always thought she would cry if someone died, but no tears were coming. It was like her body didn't really believe it, and instead it just wanted it to be all like a bad quidditch game that would end eventually and everything would be okay. She realized that she was still clinging to Ivy, and she looked over at her best friend, who looked a bit pale herself, and suddenly felt happy that she didn't have to hear the news alone. She tried to force her body to relax, but as she did, the sick feeling she had been having finally got advantage of her and she spilled the small breakfast she had eaten out onto the floor. She stood for a moment longer, unsteady on her feet, before her eyes squinted shut and she loosened her grip, and sunk down onto the floor, burying her head in her hands. She still wasn't crying, somehow the tears just wouldn't come, but she covered her face anyway.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Her mind wouldn't function properly right now. She couldn't allow herself to accept that Laura could just be gone. Every time the idea went into her head, was churned around, chewed up, and it was decided 'No. No, she can't be. She musn't be.' Her mind wouldn't let sense get to it - it wasn't a logical, methodical computer which always got its calculations right. She refused to calculate anything. Laura couldn't be dead. She just couldn't. Rather than GIGO as it was with computers, her mind was performing a never-ending sequence of 'Real life In, Denial Out'. The truth was knocking at the door, just as Fate had knocked at Beethoven's. Her mind wouldn't allow it to hit yet though. She just wouldn't believe that Laura was gone because... it couldn't be. It just couldn't.

Her mind was just a tangled mess of thoughts and confusion, but she had practical problems to deal with which were preventing her from sorting it out. For one thing, Noko had just been sick over the polished Great Hall floor. That made her own wave of nausea overcome her and a moment later, she was retching and throwing up onto the floor too. She grimaced at the taste in her mouth, muttering "Scourgify". That cleaned it all up, and, feeling rather shaky, she sat down on the floor next to her best friend, trying to make sense of what had happened. It just couldn't be right that Laura had been killed. It couldn't. She didn't know what to do. She just wanted to run away from it all. She stared at Nokomis, through Nokomis, little expression of any kind of emotion in her eyes, going over everything in her mind and trying to find some way in which it wasn't true. Because it couldn't be true.