Too Late For Life-Home For Death ((Closed))

[Jake Rainyar]

Jake and Janet got the news not too long after their get together at Hogsmeade. They were to return home immediately due to Grammy's failing health. Jake was packing a small bag in the dormitory. Sitting in there alone while all his buddies were in class Jake began to think about the urgency of the letter. Grammy was sick enough that Mum was bringing them home. How much had her condition changed in the last 24 hours. He knew Mum thought that Grammy would not make it through the week, but was she really that close to... Jake couldn't finish his thought; he didn't want to finish his thought. He dropped a few books into his back and cast a spell to lighten the load.

Jake grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder. Sniggle started meowing before he moved too far. He looked down at his kitten. "Come on, you can come too," Jake said. At the words Sniggle jumped up on his bag and climbed up to his shoulder. He smiled at the small fuzzball. He petted the kitten still sitting on his shoulder and headed out of the dormitory. He was meeting Janet at the front door. They were going to go down to the gates leading into Hogwarts and he was going to apparate them both back to their house in London. Waiting at the door it wasn't long before Janet came dragging a bag behind her. She didn't look like she was in the mood to carry it.

Jake smiled at his younger sister took her in his arms briefly before he picked up her bag and carried it for out. Out the doors they walked to the end of the gates. Outside of them they both glanced back at the castle. Jake put his arm around his sister and then in the next few seconds he felt the familiar suction of apparation. The next glance they saw was the living room in their house in London. Jacklyn stood waiting in the living room. Her face was tear stained and the moment she saw them both she wrapped them in her arms and softly sobbed. "I'm so sorry Jake and Janet. She died in her sleep this morning. We had no idea. We would have sent for you sooner, but..." she could speak no longer. She felt like she had failed her own children. Jake took a deep breath at the news, before he felt the slow steady slide of the tears down his cheeks. Grammy was gone...forever.

[janet]

Janet grabbed her small duffel bag from her trunk and layed it out on the bed. She was supposed to be packing quickly so she could head home. It seemed that Grammy's health was failing faster than what they thought. Her and Jake were to return home immediately so that they would be there for her... Janet couldn't bring herself to finish the thought. She didn't want to think about Grammy's death. She didn't want to think about anything that had to do with that. She wanted life to be better. To be normal. However she was a witch, her life would never be normal. Janet sighed to herself as she started grabbing clothes out of her wardrobe and packing them into the bag. She grabbed book after book. Anything to keep her company and help her ignore the troubles of the world around her. She would lose herself in these books and maybe if she was lucky she would never find herself again. She forced a smile at the thought, though she knew it really wouldn't work. Every book she read would just take her back into the reality she was living in. Nothing would be able to dull her mind, nothing.

Janet continued packing and soon her bag was overflowing with different personal items, most of which were books and journals. She pulled out her wand and said a reducing charm. The items shrank and soon her bag was closed tight. She would have to get one of her parents or even Jake to undo the spell for her when she got home. She would do it herself if she wasn't too young and she wouldn't get kicked out of Hogwarts for trying, but that was beyond the point. She wasn't happy with anything at the moment and to undo a charm when she got home, where things were truly bad, would just make her feel obligated to continue on with magic after she graduated. That would create even more tension and stress for her if that happened.

Janet turned from her room dragging her bag slowly behind her. Leaving behind the dormitory she sighed. She was supposed to be in Transfiguration now. Everyone was having fun, but her. She was going to be going back to a place where death was ever more present than it was here. She forced the thoughts to the back of her mind as she walked down the stairs and entered the small passage way between the staircase and the Great Hall. She could see Jake standing near the doors waiting for her. She smiled at the sight of Sniggle on his shoulder. The kitten was getting bigger, it wouldn't be long before it would not be able to fit on his shoulder or anyone else's. The sound of her bag on the stone was loud and aggravating, but still she did not pick it up.

As she reached Jake he instinctively pulled her into a hug. She let him stay for a few seconds before returning the hug. As he pulled away Sniggle stayed with Janet trying to balance on her small shoulder. She smiled at the sight. Jake grabbed her bag and Janet pulled Sniggle down from her shoulder and held the young cat in her arms as they walked out of Hogwarts. Jake was to apparate them back to their house in London. Stopping outside the gates. Jake took her into an embrace once again and Janet held on tightly to Sniggle as the familiar, but annoying, feeling of being sucked through a hole began. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she released the breath and opened her eyes she was home. Sniggle immediately jumped from her arms, apparently upset at the travel options. In front of her was her living room and her mum stood waiting for them. The words out of her mouth made Janet want to cry, but she refused to. Her mum wrapped them both up in her arms and announced the death of their Grammy.

Janet jerked herself out of the embrace. She wasn't a child. She didn't need to be held. She refused to let her tears come to the surface, instead she ran up to her room, leaving everyone behind. She wasn't going to let them see her upset. Inside her room she shut the door and looked it with the muggle locks she had installed a few years back. She knew that wouldn't keep them out, but that wasn't the point. The point was to feel like they wouldn't get in. Janet grabbed her guitar and she sat down on the floor leaning against her bed. Soon she began to strum and the music filled her ears. She didn't need to sing a word. All she needed to do was hear the music. It soothed her. She stayed this way all day. She refused to leave her room and no one wanted to push her. She refused to eat and still they did not push her. With the guitar still around her she dozed off in the late afternoon. Her emotions highly strung, but no way to release them.

[Jake Rainyar]

Jake felt his mother's embrace tighten. The tear tickled his cheek as it made a slow path of moisture down his face. He could feel his sister next to him. It was all very comforting. Though he was 18 years old he understood the comfort that only a mother could bring to her children. However the moment didn't last long. A jerk next to him told him that his sister had taken off. He pulled out of the embrace and both he and his mother watched Janet run up the stairs to her bedroom. "You want me to talk to her?" he asked his mum. "No, she's hurting now. She'll need this time to finally deal with the pain that's been afflicting her for years now. Only she can work through it," Jacklyn sighed. She turned to her son and threw her arm around his back, since he was a good 6 inches taller than her. "I'll make you some breakfast, come on," she whispered with a smile.

Jake sighed to himself and looked longingly up the stairs to Janet's bedroom. He wished he could talk with her. She didn't need to be alone right now, but his mum was right. She wouldn't want to be bothered and she did need to be alone. Jake smiled at his mum's offer. "Yeah," was all he could say. His arm came around his mother's shoulders and together they walked into the kitchen. Father greeted son and another embrace followed. This was the way families needed to be. United together even in the most tragic of times.

Jake spent the rest of the day helping to plan the funeral which would take place the following day to help get Jake and Janet back to school in a quicker fashion. Jake didn't know if he was ready to return to his last year of Hogwarts, but he felt that the longer he spent here the more likely he would be not to return at all. He needed to graduate so he could continue on in his aspirations to be an auror. He wanted to fight against those death eaters and he would do so even if it cost him everything. Jake shook his head at these thoughts and looked down at the paper in front of him. He had told his parents that he wanted to say something at the funeral. He was going to get up in front of hundreds of people and tell them something he found important. He looked at the words already written. Somethings were never easy and then other things were too easy. This was easy, too easy to be comfortable with. It was like he had had these words written down ready to go for years. He sat the paper aside after rereading the final draft. It would be a great speech to commemorate his grandmother, but he wished he could say more, do more, but it was out of his hands now.

At this thought he glanced to his left. Right now Janet was sitting in her room doing something. She had been refusing to eat and he had heard her playing her guitar for a while, but that had stopped hours ago. He stood from his own bed and headed out of the room. His soft padded feet hit the floor quietly in the late afternoon. He knew what he was about to do would totally piss her off, but he had to do it. He pulled out his wand at Janet's door and silently unlocked the door. He opened the door and stepped into her bedroom. Jake sighed as he looked at the sleeping girl. The guitar was still around her. She must have fallen asleep that way. Jake quietly closed the door behind him and knelt down in front of his sleeping sister. "Janet..." he whispered. She didn't move. "Janet," he said again. This time a slight movement from her. "Janet." Janet opened her eyes and stared into his. He did not move when she awoke, nor did she. How long they sat there like that neither one knows.

[janet]

Janet heard her name through her dreamless sleep. It took awhile for her to actually process that it was coming from the real world. She opened her eyes and found herself staring straight at her brother. She forgot that he was allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts. It was quite annoying really. She knew her parents wouldn't invade her privacy, but her brother was different. He would do anything to make sure she was okay. These thoughts loomed through Janet's brain as she continued to stare at her brother, forgetting to blink. The look in his eyes were so strange, so true and raw. It was like he wanted her to see straight into his soul and she knew that was tough for him. He didn't let many people see who he was, neither did she, but Jake had a different way of setting up his boundaries. He would make people laugh till they cried in order to keep them from seeing who he was. Now with his emotions so close to the surface Janet could see down into his soul.

The pain that was inside Jake was too much for Janet to handle and she broke contact. Janet looked down at her guitar, realizing she had fallen asleep with the strap still over her shoulder. She finally moved fully and placed her guitar back in it's case, before she fully turned to Jake. "You mind getting out. I don't have time to talk right now," Janet said coldly to her older brother. She wasn't exactly lying, but she wasn't telling the truth either. Her defenses her up and she was trying to scare away anyone who might be able to help her. Her brother was one of those people. She hated letting him see her in the state she was going to be in if they actually sat and talked about things, but she was dying on the inside and she didn't know what to do about it.

"I mean it Jake, please just leave me alone! I don't need your company and I definitely don't need to talk about anything. Grammy's dead, big deal! We all knew it was coming! It was only a matter of time before she died off, before she left us alone. It took long enough," Janet said with anger. She was beginning to lose control of her emotions and that was in itself a dangerous thing. She felt arms embrace her from behind. This time she didn't resist them, but instead turned and buried her face in her brother's shoulder. She wasn't going to cry, she just needed someone to support her. Someone to help her stand when her knees were weak. Jake just happened to be the only one there who could see through her deep facade. He always had and now he was showing her what it meant to be an older brother.

[Jake Rainyar]

Jake sighed as he returned to his full height once again. "You know you don't fool me and you never will. You can fool anyone and everyone else, but you don't fool me, sis. I know you like I know myself. Don't run away from this pain or you'll just self destruct and I don't want that to happen to you. You're too young and you have so much in store for your life, I don't want to see you hurt over something like this, so please don't push me away like this," Jake pleaded with his sister. He looked at her hard, but she didn't want to have any of it. She pushed him hard in the chest and opened the door for him. "Get out Jake or so help me God I will maim you!" her voice never raised above a whisper, but Jake knew she meant what she said. He debated on staying and making her hurt him, but he didn't want to hurt her anymore. He sighed. "Love ya sis," he said as he walked out of her room and on back to his. The sound of the slamming door behind him not only vibrated the rest of the house, but his heart as well. It would take a long time before Janet would fully open herself back up to anyone, especially him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jake stood in the mirror as he finished knotting his black tie. Sighing slightly he clipped it to his white suit shirt and then buttoned his black suit jacket closed. He ran his hand down the black suit with an overwhelming sadness coursing within him. This was the day he had feared since he was young. Now he wasn't only going to be there, but he was going to be apart of it. Jake combed through his short hair and then rubbed his hands hard together. He was trying to stop them from quivering, but it didn't seem to help at all. They just didn't want to stop shaking and they didn't seem to want to move. He repeated quietly to himself the speech he had prepared to say. It would be hard to get out, but he trusted himself and his emotions. He would be strong and if he had to stop then he wouldn't hesitate to do so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jake stood in front of his family. The first time they had all come together since the last funeral. He sighed carefully as the quiet music continued on in the background. He smiled weakly at his family members and the friends of his grandmother before starting. "I couldn't really figure out how to greet you all or if a greeting was even necessary at this time. So I guess I'll just say 'hello' since welcome is more of a term delivered in happiness and not very formal at a funeral in my opinion," he added as he realized he had been greeted that way by the priest. A slight murmur ran through the audience at this coincidence. "I wanted to speak here today because I felt that Grammy would have wanted me to. She always thought of me as quote a funny little boy unquote. Ever since she started telling me that I made it my life choice to be just that. Grammy was an amazing woman. I remember the good times we used to have with playing muggle cards and dancing around in the rain. I also remember the times I was really naughty and she'd have to punish me by placing me in the corner. The thing about that was I would always turn out of the corner when she wasn't watching. She learned quickly though and to this day I don't know what spell she used to make sure I wouldn't move out of the corner." A small laugh spread through the attendees as Jake continued. "I realized something the other day before I really knew how bad Grammy was that no matter who comes into our lives they will eventually leave us, but we should not be sadden by this thought. For the ones who leave us with the most pain have had the biggest impact on our lives and we should be happy that they came into our lives instead of how they left our lives. It's the greatest gift we could have ever asked for. I wouldn't give up one day with Grammy. I loved her more than I ever told her, but she knew that and so did I. This woman here is the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I know that all of you sitting here today feel the same way. So I leave you with this thought by Algernon Black,
The love that once was born can not die
For it has become part of us, of our life,
Woven into the very texture of our being.
Each of us would wish to leave some part of ourselves,
So here and now we bear witness to the one we knew in life,
Who now in death bequeaths a subtle part, precious and beloved,
Which will be with us in truth and beauty,
In dignity and courage and love
To the end of our days."
Jake bowed his head and took a deep breath as he fought the tears within him. As he moved away from the podium and down the steps he placed one hand on his Grammy's coffin and walked off where his mother wrapped her arms around him and his father embraced him. Janet didn't look at him, but he instinctively through an arm around her shoulders and she broke and folded her arms around his and cried silently, finally releasing the pain she had been building up. Jake smiled and thanked Grammy silently as he ran his hand through his sisters hair trying to comfort her.