Chocolate and Memories (Rosaliz)

[Maryn Livley]

Maryn threw five sweaters onto her tiny body. She seemed to be getting smaller everyday. It was all coming back to Maryn again. All of it, everything she wanted to forget forever was back. Her head had been in a tailspin for weeks. Maryn couldn't stop thinking about it. It played over and over in her mind. She was in a deep trance every second of every day. Maryn wasn't in the horrific state she was months before, but she wasn't exactly peachy keen. She was distressed and always in a pit of thought. Maryn wasn't exactly the same. She had gotten unusually thin and pale. She clothes seemed to hang over her body. Maryn also often found herself livid for air. She would randomly stop and gasp huge intervals of it. At the core of all this drama was what had happened years ago. It was the cause of all the pain. Maryn's secret was no longer private. it was revealed in a few of her close friends and some strangers. Well, not all of it. The most dangerous part of her secret, she was determined to keep in to herself forever.

Maryn's parents had finally forced her to go outside. It was rather odd actually. During the summer Maryn was often grounded for being the little rebel she was and sneaking out. Now, her parents were forcing her to go out into the world they feared so dearly. However, all of that wasn't even in Maryn's mind. She was just concentrating on getting through all the memories. Maryn layers different red and pink shirts and sweat-shirts onto her teeny body like her mother instructed.The outfit was completed with her red jacket, pink scarf, jeans, and ugg boots. Not really caring what she looked like, Maryn left the house to venture into the streets of London.

She moved along the frigid streets slowly. Maryn was so different than any other thirteen year old she knew. Her life seemed full of complications. However, Maryn knew other people had it much worse. Several of her friends were examples. But, she was quite sure that none of them witnessed their grand-parents murdered or saw Death Eaters on the train in August. Most other children didn't have to deal with both those events. Maryn didn't hug her jacket close to her like normal. She wasn't particularly cold just thinking. She had gotten over that nights months before, but now the pain was from something else. Her pain was from what the people that killed her grand-parents wanted. She knew the time was approaching when things would surely change for her. That's what Maryn was trying to hide from. She was trying to get away from the person she knew she would be someday. Maryn soon found a small coffee shop. She ordered a hot chocolate and sat down at a table. It was outside and still cold, but Maryn tried to forget about everything sipping her warm drink.

[Rosaliz Hernandez G6]

Rosaliz shoved her hands into her black pant pockets, it was a little chilly out and she inwardly was cursing herself for not dressing to the weather occasion. A sudden gust of wind blew her hair into her face, causing her to take a freezing hand out of her pocket and brushed it away. Looking into the sky in order to curse the dreary gray clouds she realized she was right under a swinging wooden sign. she breathed, letting out a cloudy breath of air. She let out a sigh. Maybe there something here that can warm me up she thought.

A little bell tinkled as she pushed door open, causing some shady figures at the bar to turn and stare. Rosaliz igonred this. She then relised they selled butter beer here. How she loved that rich thick drink that had an ever lasting grest tasted as if it was a mix of many of her favorite candies into one drink. "A samll cup of butter beer please" she asked. Payong the drink with a few sickles and a nut. She then walked back outside since she didn't want anybody else staring at her. She looked aroung clutching her warm drink in her hand. Another small place next door had tables near by. Rosaliz walked quickly over. She wanted to sit really badly. She was going to sit at a near ny table but the she noticed that somebody else was sitting by themselves. It seemed like a little young girl. Of corse Rosaliz was young but it looked like a young lost child. Before Rosaliz was going to sit walking towards a table, she stopped half way there without being to move. As if she froze!! She couldn't believe to what her eyes had feasted upon. Her hand let the glass cup slip and crash on the floor. She was terribly shocked to what she had seen. She seemed imoble unable to move. It was Maryn. Rosaliz gulped rally hard. But she looked Bad. Really Bad. Her friend looked sick. She looked very pale and terribly thin as if she could faint any minuet. She looked very, very, VERY fragile as a peice of thin paper as if with one small tap she'd break in half. Besides her apperence Maryn didn't look happy at all.

Rosaliz tried to calm down and as soon as she did she walked over to Maryn as she normally would and say hi in a normal voice trying not to snoop in into anything she didn't weant to talk about. "Hi Maryn! It's been a while since I've seen you. Where have you been? I missed you so much" she finshed with a warming smile hoping her friend would be glad to at least see her.

((Sorry it took me so long to reply. I hope you forgive me))

[Maryn Livley]

Maryn came back to reality when someone called her name and talked to her. She snapped her head toward the girl immediately regretting that decision. She sat still for a second and then look to see who it was. Maryn couldn't help but give a weak smile looking at Rosaliz. At had been so long since Maryn last saw her. She was certain she had to have been in a better shape back then. It was odd to see her in the muggle world, but that didn't make her any less happy. Of course, she wanted to see her younger friend It didn't matter to her that she wasn't in the best shape. She could hold it in for a bit any way. Maryn had done it before and it wasn't new to her. Maryn gulped in a sip of hot chocolate before speaking.

"Hey, Rosaliz." She said calmly in a surprisingly happy tone. Maryn was glad one of her friends had caught her. She had been so lonely lately and hadn't really left the house. Usually, Maryn would plan an escape route to leave, but it was different. Maryn had really grown up over the past few months. She no longer had a real urge to just run away. Of course, she was still a bit rebellious, but not like she used to be. Maryn smiled again at her friend. "I missed you too." She said sensibly. "Oh, I've been in London for the holidays." She said nicely. "How about you? I haven't seen you around lately. How has your vacation been?" She asked calmly. It all seemed pretty real and Maryn was suddenly glad she had seen Rosaliz. She could do this. She could be a bit happy forgetting everything. All the pain had returned when she first met Cougar. What a weird day that had been. Maryn then looked at Rosaliz waiting for a response.

(Oh no problem at all!! I'm just glad you're active again.)

[Rosaliz Hernandez G6]

Rosaliz looked at Maryn when she called her name. She saw the older girl quickly respond by looking to who it was. Rosaliz knew she disapproved of it but gave a small smile. As she began to sit down after the questions she asked Maryn she listened with all ears. When was the last time have she seen Maryn? Well for a fact she remembered that she looked way better. And had much more of a cheery spirit. Maryn then asked of how she had been doing. "I'm fine." she said even though she might regret it afterwords. She was lying but she didn't want to hurt her friend in giving her more information that would make her sad. Maryn looked depressed as it is. She then asked her how her vacation had been. "well it's great. I'm actually getting alot of support with a former student from Hogwarts. It is Cougar. He is quite friendly and helpful for advice. He is always there when you need him." she finished. She then thought about what else to talk about. Besides that she was just scared for her friend and would share her deep dark secret if she was asked or told to.

She looked back at her formal friend. Her facial feature weren't what you called "great" Until to the point she couldn't bear it anymore. " You don't have to answer this question if it makes you uncomfortable" she said taking a gulp and then continuing "but are you OK? You look sick as if you have a really bad cold or illness." Rosaliz then looked away she didn't want to bear and look at Maryn another second to see her that way. She then looked back with teary eyes. Hoping that her friend was going to the death bed she couldn't afford another lost since it was all she had. Her friends are her family. She looked at Maryn wondering what she was going to say. Rosaliz knew it was her responsibility to cheer her friends up and not let them down. But how would she be able to manage? She was so frightened that she knew this question surely would hurt her friend. So she decided not to ask anymore unless Maryn approved it was OK.

Rosaliz took a deep breath. She knew this situation couldn't be able to be compared to anything else in the past. Each event had it's own emphasis and meaning that noting else had. Like a recipe of your own homemade secret recipe that nobody else knows but hugely stands out. Sure this horrific thing Rosaliz saw reminded her of her tragic past to. From her parents to her party to Monica. But when was Monica never around? Well to Rosaliz she knew it was old news for everybody but never to her since she endures it just like the way Maryn has to endure this. Rosaliz herself gave a weary smile and looked at Maryn hoping that she was in a good physical and mental state. Hoping that she could cheer her friend she smiled having these thoughts rushed in her head wondering if Maryn was going to answer and what would she say. Even if she didn't answer she would still take the reply and make her friend show her "fun" side.

[Maryn Livley]

Maryn took in a sharp breath of air as Rosaliz mentioned Cougar. He had sort of been in this whole mix with Maryn's emotions. It of course wasn't his fault, but Maryn had been near him when she found the note. He had actually seen the writing of the person Maryn feared. The drama was, Maryn didn't know who that person was. She only knew the writing, but was certain that it had to be from some family member as few new anything about the Lively family ordeal. It was something best left unsaid. However, it Maryn's case it was said more than once. However, the extent of it Maryn had never even said to her parents. Of course, they knew, but it wasn't mentioned not at all. Maryn gave a weak smile back at Rosaliz.

She sighed attempting to answer Rosaliz's question. "Actually, I'm better than a week or so ago." She sighed calmly. "I'll be fine. I've just had these since I was little." She took a deep breath of air and then calmed down looking nicely at Rosaliz. "Sometimes, I just over work myself with school, home, family, boys, you name it I over do it." Maryn said letting out an old Maryn laugh. "I just need to tone it down." She said nicely. Some people knew about this. "It's not at all a depression. The doctors just say I'll be fine and just need some time off. So when I so that, I usually stay in my room, become pale, and loose a little wate, but that's it." Maryn said certainly. "I'll really be fine no worries. I wouldn't have just spilled my guts if I wasn't getting better." Maryn smiled her true smile waiting for Rosaliz to answer. She knew Rosaliz wasn't just going to let it go, but maybe she would feel better about it. Maryn felt better just saying it.

[Rosaliz Hernandez G6]

Rosaliz looked at Maryn really closely. She was still worried about her. Of coarse Rosaliz was worried even more since she was her best friend. She knew that Maryn wasn't healthy physically, but she was also worried about her mentally. She knew that she had been talking to cougar and on her socially part she was fine but just wondered was there something really wrong with her friend that made her like this? Rosaliz listened to her friend say "It's not at all a depression. The doctors just say I'll be fine and just need some time off. So when I so that, I usually stay in my room, become pale, and loose a little weight but that's it.....I wouldn't have just spilled my guts if I wasn't getting better." Rosaliz analyzed what she said. She said it wasn't all depression. Than what was it? Was it having to do with family, life issues? his concerned Rosaliz. She was even more concerned when Maryn said that she became pale and lose a little weight as if it wasn't a problem. Well Rosaliz knew it was way worse. She then took a gasp when she heard Maryn said that she wouldn't have just spilled her guts if she I wasn't getting better. What did that mean? Rosaliz hoped it wasn't what she thought it meant! She just say to Rosaliz that if she was becoming even more ill that her friend wouldn't say anything and not confront it? Rosaliz took a deep breath. At that moment she wished that she hadn't dropped her butterbeer so that she would have took a sip to hide her concern but eventually she couldn't. Rosaliz looked at her fiend in disappointment. She really wanted to know what was going on.

Rosaliz looked at her friend hoping that she would explain to her and what was really going on. If she was able to tell Cougar it wouldn't help to tell somebody. Of coarse Rosaliz had experienced allot but people always said that she was always was a good person to talk to when they needed her help or at least for advice and cheering up. Rosaliz had second thoughts to all of this. What if Maryn doesn’t feel comfortable talking to me? Maybe I need to open up more she thought. Rosaliz was right she knew that Maryn didn't know much of her and maybe this would the time to talk about it since she had plenty of time to talk about it. Where do I start she thought. taking a gulp. What if Maryn doesn't approve and wouldn't want me to talk. She took another deep gulp. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to bad. She never told anybody whatabout her deep dark secret or the entire truth about her. And so she started. “ Maryn I’m going to explain to you why I’m so week and need you ask a friend and why you should be open to me because if I don’t know it would bother my self conscience knowing that you’re are not ok.” And so she started explaing about her past. “During my first year of Hogwarts I was great attending all my classes and making friends along the way, until something bad terribly went wrong. I received a letter from my family informing me that my mother died.

I of coarse had suffered a lot during the outbreak of the news but it was even worse when I found-out that nobody in my family would take me in. After Hogwarts finished I went to live with her best friend, from Hogwarts. Of course I inherited everything that my mother left behind but I missed the comforting arms that once held me together. I then decided to look for my father even if he was a death eater. I communicated with him every day. I looked up to my dad thinking he wasn’t so bad until I lost him to. He was horrible having any pity. I later than found my mother diary explaing most of her problems and whay she was the way she was. Horrible things my eyes have read but I try to hold my self together. The only bad part is that the diary is missing a chunck of pages at the end. Fallowing my second year at Hogwarts Monica has been chancing me but I don’t know why still to this day I want to know but I can’t. She just want to destroy me.” Little did Rosaliz know that about Monica had family connections. There families wanted to keep it a secret, but it revealed itself. But it revealed it to the wrong person...It was revealed to Monica Henshaw... News like this was never meant to be spoken, read or heard. But obviously it did. That’s why Monica was always after Rosaliz hoping to destroy her so she would forget her past and everything that reminded of it. Rosaliz looked at Maryn waitint for a reply.

((sorry it took me so long. I had computer problems.))

[Maryn Livley]

Maryn took in a small, sharp breath looking at Rosaliz. She offered a warm smile or at least part of one. Maryn knew Rosa needed her, but Maryn needed Rosa just as much. They were friends and Maryn always wanted to help her. True, Rosaliz might be younger, but did that really matter? Maryn could care less about house, blood, or year. The truth was, did that really matter? Maryn thought so in her first year, but she was a bit more mature now. She could see life for what it really was. She no longer saw it out of the plastic bubble she was living in about first year. However, looking at Rosa, Maryn realized Rosaliz had never been in the same bubble. She had such a hard life and Maryn knew how strong she was. Rosa had to be strong through all of that. She just had to be. Maryn had never thought of herself as too strong. But, maybe she was. Maybe she was strong because she had to be that way in the end. Maryn looked at Rosaliz’s eyes. For a second, Maryn tried so hard to see the pain she had been through. But, none of it came to her. Maryn couldn’t see any of it. She wanted so badly to help Rosaliz at times, but truth be told, maybe Maryn wasn’t as strong as her friend. No, in the end year didn’t matter and Maryn now knew that. It all seemed to make sense right before Maryn’s eyes. True, it was odd, but Maryn was tired of being weak and scared. It was time for Maryn to grow up and she knew.

Maryn’s head seemed to spin in her thoughts. Her brain was consumed with a thick mist that seemed to shield her thought. Suddenly, it unfroze as Maryn listened to Rosaliz. She looked at her hard. Maryn never expected to hear these words from Rosaliz’s mouth. She had never expected her to tell Maryn anything. She looked at her strongly trying to find words to bring to the surface of her mouth. “Rosaliz, you are strong then I will ever be.” She said silently holding back a few tears.” Maryn then listened to the rest of what her friend had to say. Sure, Maryn knew about her life. She had known Rosa since the summer when they met with Flo at the beach, but that girl seemed so far away. They both seemed so different from back then. Maryn was no longer determined to prove herself or do what she wanted. No, now Maryn thought about things more. She knew what was right and she really tried to do it. Sometimes, it was for herself, but others it was for her friends just like Rosa. She stared at Rosaliz straight in the eyes. Her ears caught every word. They seemed painful on her skin as they touched her ears. Maryn thought back to that night Rosaliz was in the accident. It was so scary, but so weird.

Maryn’s head dropped a bit as Rosaliz finished her small speech. She had to tilt it a bit to see her friend and she tried hard to let go of the fog in her brain. “See, you have so many things on your mind, Rosa. You are so strong and I fall apart at the sight of one thing unpleasant. You know I need you girl.” She said getting back her attitude a bit Maryn’s eyes looked away for a second and then looked back at her friend. “I hate that Monica girl.” She said calmly remembering everything about her and why she despised her so. “You can withstand her Rosaliz. I know you can and I’ll help. I’ll be better, I promise.” She said now letting a true Maryn smile show. She felt much better now and just wanted things to be normal. “You know I will always be there for you.” Maryn said truly. “Just keep me sane. I need someone to do that.” Maryn looked her straight in the eye. “You always seem to make me feel better, Rosaliz. Did you know that?” Maryn smiled letting a few tears fall. She looked at her friend waiting for a reply.

[Rosaliz Hernandez G6]

Rosaliz Looked at Maryn. She had said that she was strong. She said that she would be strong than she would ever be. “That’s not true Maryn.” She said continuing “I know you as a strong person and sometime thinking of you helps me go. It helps me take another step to what I’m fighting and going threw. Don’t ever say that you are week. I know you as a strong individual” Rosaliz replied. She had said the truth. Her friends always helped her move along the toughest times. If Maryn had been having difficulties she should talk to somebody. That’s why Rosaliz was always there for her. And she hoped that her friend would understand that. Rosaliz watched her friend shed some tears. That wasn’t something Rosaliz didn’t want to see right know. “You have to be strong Maryn. Just don’t forget I’m always her for you” Rosaliz said taking a breath. Rosaliz was really worried about her. She knew her as a close sister and knew that the troubling of the health her wonder of her friend. She also knew she was going to suffer threw it her own self. ‘Why?’ she thought. ‘Why’ was the question floating in her head? She frowned at this. So many things happening quickly. So serial she thought feeling dizzy seeing things rush threw her mind. Rosaliz couldn’t take it anymore. ‘This doesn’t feel right’ she said thinking to her self. Rosaliz was starting to have a fight in her mind with her own taught. Rosaliz then took another gulp. Maryn had called herself strong but did she know everything about Rosaliz. She was afraid not. Of coarse she had left out chunks of this considering to her past and the dark lord. Rosaliz had been dying to tell somebody that she was afraid she might go insane thinking about it. ‘What would she think’ Rosaliz thought. She was afraid of telling her friend thinking that there relationship might end if she said a work of her understandings of the dark lord. But she knew she had to. She didn’t want to hold the heavy guilt inside.

Rosaliz began to speak. “No Maryn I’m not that strong as you think of it. My history holds more than you think.” She said taking a gulp. “Maryn What I’m going to tell you might shock you. I understand if you’ll run away from me and never talk to me again. Of coarse I had this happen to me before and I haven’t had one fiend whop would support me through these tough times. But I think it’s time for you to know.” She said trying to hold her tears back but apparently she failed. She took a deep sigh and began. “Look Maryn I don’t know how to tell you this so I’m going to start from the beginning. About a year ago I met this slytherin. We had so much in common. During that experience with her I made a connection with my dad who was a death eater. I got to know him and we supported each other. I felt I had a family again since it was after my mother died. He was a death eater who fallowed the dark lord. I kept a close eye on him until the day he died in my arms from a slaying of one of my best friends aunt. He made me promise right before her sided that I should fallow his steps supporting the dark lord. For how much I suffered. I came to a point almost killing my self but my slytherin friend helped me threw it. Then the attacks came at Diagon alley. I then wondered of the dark lord and why he would do such a thing but I continued with my life. Now I’m afraid of the promise I had made of supporting the dark lord. I cry sometime wondering how my future is going to hold it’s self. But I don’t look for an answer. It serves me as a reminder how it would be like to serve the dark lord and how I need to get use to it because of this. That’s why I’m afraid of Monica. She reminds me of my tragic past and it shows me my position. I cry thinking about this. Monica helps me serve the price that I need to pay. You might think I’m insane and it is physically impossible.

But I ensure you I’m the same person you have known before just with a flaw in my life.” Rosaliz began weeping. How she wanted to stay strong in front of her friend but the challenge was just impossible for her. Rosaliz was afraid that Maryn would walk away. She knew that she scared anybody who she talked about with. “You are wondering why I mentioning this to you? I tell you this because it shows you how I have to endure this problem so you can tell me anything but it won’t affect me so bad since I know there isn’t anything worse than death.” Rosaliz was afraid to look at her friend Maryn. She was afraid to read the facial expression she might be holding. Rosaliz looked down at her feet, hoping that this wouldn’t affect her friend’s relationship but she knew it would have an impact in the future. She sighed. She had made a mistake in her past. Hopefully showing the message she was trying to show her friend. She just hoped that Maryn would understand that it’s okay to have a problem but never keep it to yourself because it might lead you to a big mistake. “You don’t have to keep it a secret since it might be a big thing to keep but just don’t hurt my feelings” she said still with her head down not making any motion except the movement of her lips. Rosaliz sat there hoping that Maryn would understand. She hoped that her friend would forgive her. Rosaliz sat there and lift up her head looking at Maryn straight in the eyes. Rosaliz waited for the reply that held the moment if they were going to continue being friends. It all depended on Maryn’s word. Rosaliz took a gulped hoping that her ears wouldn’t here the worse of the worst.