Trapped In A Place Called Help (Dix, Jack, Padme)

[Mackenzie Holden]

Today was the day. The day that Mack was to visit Dixie. She wasn't going alone, thank God. Jack was going to be there with her - and she didn't know how that would turn out. From what she had heard from Jamie; it wasn't the nicest last sight of him. Dixie probably remembered nothing anyway, Jack hadn't anything to worry about. Padme did though. If Dixie couldn't remember certain things, who was to say she remembered Padme at all? Remembered Mack at all, for that matter? Mack sighed as she sat on the white couch in her apartment in London. Her head was in her hands, and the soft jingle of her bracelets on her wrists were the only sounds in the whole room. Her red hair was straight today, and she just noticed how long it had gotten. It was to her shoulders now, straightened. She didn't mind. But it was kind of annoying when she wanted to hide. She looked paler than she usually was, and she wore hardly any make-up. Mack looked up and looked around the room with another sigh. How did she end up this way?

What the hell happened to Dixie? Why was she like this now? What the hell happened?! Mack couldn't take it. She couldn't sit still the whole time, waiting for Jack and Padme to arrive. She stood up and paced the floor - her arms crossed and her eyes staring straight ahead. Her steps were quick, small, almost nonexistant. She chewed her bottom lip - and felt it start to bleed, "Hell!" She let out as she walked into the bathroom and tore a piece of toilet paper off the roll. She dabbed at her lip until she thought the blood was gone - and then she threw the paper away. Her hands rested on the sink, which was in front of the mirror, and she stared at herself in the glass. Reflecting. What the hell happened? Where did her life become completely backward? Was it pre-divorce, or post-divorce? Mack breathed in heavily and turned off the light before leaving the bathroom. She didn't feel comfortable staring at her reflection for too long.

She sat down on the couch again, her eyes staring out the window as the sun began to set. They were going late. She had made sure they allowed them in. Seeing Dixie out of her element would be during the day, during the night - Dixie was herself. Sane or not. Mack found that Dixie was more of herself then ever when the moon was out rather then when the sun was up. As odd as this might be for many other people, it was actually quite logical for Dixie. Mack didn't know how - but she felt there was a powerful reason for Dixie to feel comfort at night. Maybe it had something to do with the family. Mack was always sent upstairs to the attic when 6 in the evening rolled around. Supper would be sent up by a house - elf and Mack would have to eat up there. Many times she felt she was like the Little Princess from the book she had read when she was younger, the only thing missing was the magical monkey or whatever it was that turned all those bad things into good things.

Her vision began to blur, so she had to look away. It was a good thing too. Because at that moment - the door opened and in stepped Pamela. Mack stood up and went over to help her mom with the groceries, Pam gave her a weak and tired smile before entering the small kitchen. The older woman had been spending as much time as she could at the hospital - trying so hard to figure out what was wrong with Dixie, but no such luck awaited her. Mack felt a soft ping of guilt. She could've done more to help, couldn't she? Mack set the groceries on the counter and then leaned against it - handing her mother the food to be put away. Ever since Derreck had taken everything, Pam had gotten a muggle job at a bank, and they were doing things the muggle way. Considering they lived in an apartment building - they really couldn't do magic in case someone saw them. That was fine for Mack - she didn't exactly have anything against not doing magic at home because she couldn't do it outside of school anyway. But Pam seemed to be going through withdrawals.

Mack was about to go back into the living room when Pam spoke up; "He's going to be there tonight, Mackenzie." Mack swiveled around and looked at her mother sharply. Oh no. Please, God, no. Please! She stared in disbliefe, "What?! No! Mum! That can't be possible! I scheduled it so he couldn't go at the same time! You told me he was out of town!" Mack exclaimed with anger and hatred toward her father. Pam shrugged with another sigh; "He rescheduled so he could spend time with Dixie. She's his daughter too, you know. Honey, I know, but I'm sure it'll all be fine." Pam tried to soothe her but Mack was already outraged; "No! Jack and Padme Rendel are coming! It wont' be fine!" The look on Pam's face was indescribable. She sighed, defeated and retreated into her room. She was giving up too easily now-a-days. Mack let out a frustrated sigh and sat down on the couch for the fourth time in the last 20 minutes. It was then the buzzer sounded. Oh God. She stood, pressed the release button - then sat back down. Oh God.

[Padme Rendel S2]

Padme was tired. Yes, tired. And Padme was never tired. Never! What was wrong with her? Padme lay in her bed, thinking over all her problems and multiple solutions. She didn't have a Dix or Mack to rely on. She had decided just ten minutes ago that she wouldn't rely on anyone. Not even Jack, who didn't have a clue what she really was. Not a Rendel. She was still considered a Rendel by most; in fact, only Mack knew the truth. Padme hoped direly that the girl hadn't told anyone; if she had, she would receive a punishment Padme style. And, she was visiting Roger on Sunday. Sunday! That was two days away! What would she say? Do? What would she wear and how should her hair be? Up, or down? Maybe it should be side-ways, like Padme's feelings at the moment. She sighed and rolled over, trying to get some sleep. It didn't help that Tessa continued to snore so loud that it sounded like her bloody head was going to fall off!

Morning came like morning always does. Relentlessly sunny. Padme rubbed her eyes, angry at herself for not closing the curtains before falling asleep. Sitting up, she let the covers fall to the floor. She had had a restless night, going in and out of nightmares about her meeting with her used-to-be father. The only reason she was so nervous was because he knew everything about her and the family. What if he threatened to tell Jack? What could she say to restrain him? A thousand questions popped into Padme's head, but she had to push them down. Relax, she told herself roughly, get a grip on yourself! She had never had such a problem before, so why now? Padme got up and went into the living room downstairs. Tessa had fallen asleep in the kitchen, drunk. When she woke up, she would probably have one hell of a head ache.

Padme crossed the room and sat on the couch. The phone rang. Padme ignored it. Probably some bloody muggle commercial thing. She glared as the phone continued to ring. With an annoyed grunt, Padme reached over slowly (hoping it would stop ringing) and picked it up. "Hello?" She drawled out slowly, blinking to get her eyes into focus. "Padme?" Came a voice that she easily recognized as Jack. "Jack?" "Yes Padme. Who else would call you?" Padme didn't reply to Jack's rather honest statement. Who would call her? "What do you want?" She asked into the receiver. "Today you and I are going to Mack's house to - " Padme interrupted him, "I'm not going." She could almost imagine Jack shaking his head at her. "Yes you are. We're going to visit Dixie. I want you at Mack's house around sun set. Get there. Dixie's expecting you." Beep! Padme set down the phone and pulled her knees to her chest. Bloody hell! Now, she had to visit Dixie today and Roger tomorrow. And she wasn't even out of her bathrobe and PJ's yet!

Padme got dressed and ready for going to Mack's house by noon. She was - sad to say - excited. She hadn't talked to Mack in a while, and she had to make sure she hadn't said anything to Jack yet. She hadn't seen Dixie since that epic train ride, where she had forced Padme out. She would regret that. Padme wasn't sure how to act though. Whether to be her normal self or sympathetic? What would Dixie want? She should have asked Jack what he was going to do. Maybe he didn't even know. Padme wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. Tessa stirred in the kitchen, startling Padme off the couch.

"Mommy?" Padme asked. She had thrown away all those days of being hard and rough toward Tessa. She was thirsty to love and had given up her abandon to Tessa and her lies. She just wanted her mum back. Tessa just grunted and sat up. "What time is it?" She asked gruffly, her voice still sounded so crackly. Just like a radio. "Around noon Mommy. How do you feel?" Padme shifted on the couch to get a better look at Tessa. It felt so good to say Mommy again. "I feel better then last night but not as good as I should." Tessa grunted again, sitting up from the chair she had fallen into last night. Padme was disgusted at her mother's behavior but she didn't let it show. "I'm going to be gone today." She declared when everything had become quiet. Tessa looked around, confused and...sad? Padme blanched for a few seconds, but gathered herself quickly. "And tomorrow." she added, just to get it over with. "I'm visiting with some friends and I'll be gone most of the day. You can expect me back tonight. I'm not sure what time but I won't be sleeping over anywhere." Padme smiled a rare sincere smile at Tessa. "Okay honey. Don't stay up to late." Tessa replied before falling asleep again. It was sad how such a young woman could become such a slob. But it was her own doing, Padme told herself, not mine.

She walked down the streets of London after eating a fast dinner. She didn't want to heave up a huge dinner when she smelled the place Dixie was in. There must be tons of old people there. Old people always smelled like cabbage. Padme nearly gagged every time she went close to one of those smelly old people. She had dressed in muggle attire, of course; faded blue jeans, a green sweatshirt, and her hair was down in soft curls. She had been bored, so she twirled her hair in her free time. Padme hadn't put on any make-up and she looked like a ghost, walking around with a befuddled expression. Everything was escaping her today, including a good appearance. Padme walked to the part of London that was mostly apartments. Jack had given her Mack's house number, which she quickly found and hit the buzzer. Here goes nothing, Padme thought as the door opened, allowing her entry.

She walked into the apartment, letting her mouth hang open. She was just...amazed how money could be so quickly taken away. The Holden's had been one of the wealthiest families around; now they lived in an apartment. Padme swallowed her astonishment and walked straight until she found Mack sitting on the couch. The girl looked worse for wear as well, maybe even worse then Padme. Padme gave Mack a quick smirk. "So, where's the welcome wagon? I suppose you forgot to roll it out, have you?" Padme sat down on the couch without invitation, making herself comfortable. She leaned back her head and let out a breath she had held in nervously the whole time. "Jack's not here yet?" she asked, already knowing the answer. He would be sitting here if he was. Padme rolled her eyes onto Mack as she raised an eyebrow. "Could you tell me a few things? What am I to expect with Dixie? How do you expect me to act? Where are you going really? A mental institution or what? How are we getting there? And, how is Dixie's condition?" Padme asked, snapping the questions into the air at machine gun speed. She only hoped Mack could answer them.

((Sorry it's so long. I think I got a bit carried away, eh? ))

[Jack Rendel S5]

Jack sighed as he hung up on Padme. He had to do it; she would probably just curse him to hell if he didn't. Not that she hadn't already attempted to do such a thing. Jack smirked, but it turned into a frown as his father walked into the room. Roger was - for some odd reason - dressed in laid back slacks and a t-shirt. Rendel Mansion, was as hot as an oven today. Jack raised an eyebrow but said in a matter-of-fact tone, "Good morning, Father." Jack gave his dad a quick, strained smile before standing. "And good morning to you, Jack." Father replied. Jack didn't look at him. This was routine. Say good morning, then ignore each other for the rest of the day. Things hadn't been going extremely well with Father and Jack, although they seemed to be bonding more then usual. It was hard times, these were, and Jack had decided he would have to make friends with his enemies instead of despise each other. In this case, he was trying to be a son. But things were harder said then done. Nothing seemed to work for Jack, so why would bonding with his father work out for him? It had been fourteen years, and still he called Father his real name - Roger - around other people. Did that show a real relationship?

Jack stifled a yawn as he walked into a different living room. There were five in the mansion all together. He scowled as Father followed him. What was this about? He was just enjoying himself, relaxing around in the living room, and minding his own business. Jack looked at Father quickly, only a second or two, before staring at the hearth rug. "What?" He asked after moments of silence. Father sat down across from him and stared with those deep brown eyes Padme had likely inherited. "Nothing. I was just hoping to...talk to you." Jack stiffened at his father's words. He remained calm on the outside as he eyed the ceiling. "Okay." He managed to choke out, still not able to figure out what was going on. "Where are you going today?" Roger asked, but Jack could tell he wanted more then that bit of information. Roger - like Jack - was not easily satisfied.

"I'm visiting a friend today...." Jack said, but at Father's questioning glance he relented, "Dixie Holden." He thought it wouldn't be smart to say Mack. Roger, for some odd reason, didn't like Mack at all. He almost hated her name as much as he hated Jack's eyes and appearance. They were so much like his ex-wife's. "I see. I hear she isn't doing so well in the head. Do give her my respects and hope to get better." Score! Father had believed him and now Jack was on his way to a 'bonding' moment. These were rare, but Father seemed in a good mood today. Jack wasn't going to crack his shell. "I just wanted to tell you, you may stay over at their house during the next day. I have some business at the house with a few friends and I need you out of here." Oh. So he wanted Jack out and away from his life. So much for bonding. Jack shifted in his chair and finally looked at his father. Roger, much to his surprise, wasn't looking at Jack either. It was a common note that Rendel's couldn't look each other in the eye when lying. Jack shrugged; it wasn't unusual. "Fine." He wanted to add, 'thank god,' but that seemed too extreme. Roger smiled, nodded, left the room. Jack didn't follow.

The day didn't go any faster after that. Jack remained around the same rooms, especially the kitchen. Roger seemed to hover in and out of rooms, staying in his own bedroom. It reminded Jack of the time he had gotten Padme's letter. Jack took a deep breath. So he was seeing Dixie. This was harder then agreeing to come with Mack. The real thing. An insane, ballistic, lying (as Mack claimed) Dixie. Strange, but Jack was looking forward to this more then he had expected. He wondered what Mack's living quarters were like now. Now, she was in an apartment. Jack shrugged; it was better then a studio. He munched on his dinner, not really paying attention to his surroundings. Only when Roger came upon him did Jack jump back into the present. Father had an odd air about him, one Jack recognized immediately. Father had gotten himself drunk. Probably drinking that hidden rum stash he kept in his closet. Jack edged away from Roger, remembering many of his drunken states with pain.

"You look so much like your mother," Roger finally blurted. Jack stared. Since when did he talk about Tessa like this? Jack got up and moved to a different chair. If Father cared, he didn't show it. "You do know that, don't you? I hope you do. She was such a lively, pretty woman...." Roger sighed and slumped in his chair, but his eyes never left Jack. They had that haunted look that his son hated so much. The look of pain. "I-I...I better go now." Jack hesitated but got up to go to the door. "Wait!" Roger called, trying to stand but knocking over a stool in the process. "Don't you want to talk? I'm ready Jack. Get back here!" Jack didn't turn though. He didn't want to learn the truth through a drunk Roger, but through the real Roger. Jack thrust open the door and walked out, not taking a second glance back.

The plane ride was quick and he arrived at Mack's door ringing the buzzer. He was surprised to see that the door was already opened. He looked around Mack's home, surverying everythign he saw. Things in the apartment were so small. He hadn't expected it to be like this. He remembered Mack's mansion back when he had visited Dix over the summer. That had been the second time they had talked. He gave a nervous twitch as he wondered whether Dixie remembered their last little run-in. He hoped not; Jamie had made him look like a complete fool, he admitted it. Looking back, he would change what happened that night if he could. But he couldn't. So why even think about it. Plus, Dixie might not even remember it in her state. With a smirk, Jack entered the living room to find Padme and Mack on the couch. He was surprised, considering Padme would usually take a while. A glance at a clock made him realize he was a little late. "Sorry I'm so late. Roger got a little drunk and I had to deal with the consequences."

((Long again! I try to shorten it, but Jack and Padme have so much to say. So really, it's not....MY fault. ))

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

((Long's good.))

The session was almost over. Good. Dixie was getting bored fast. She bit her lip as she listened to the doctor ask her all these questions. He was playing the have you ever game. Dixie hated that game. It was always so depressing. But he said something that struck a nerve in Dixie, and she couldn't resist looking up at him with that Slytherin glint in her eyes, "Have you ever looked into your father's eyes and saw life leave them?" It was as if Matt was trying to guilt her with his pain. Dixie hated people like that. No. She hadn't seen life leave her father's eyes, but only for the simple fact that she was afraid to look into her father's eyes. She was afraid of what she would see. Dixie shook her head and lowered it, tears springing up like hot fountains in a desert. She cried a lot lately. More than she should, actually. Dixie subconsciously wiped at the tears, before even thinking of bursting out with the words she wanted.

"Have you?!" Dr. Fried nearly screamed at her. Dixie looked up sharply, her brown eyes flashing red. He wanted to yell. To let emotions fly. Fine! She'd bite. Dixie chewed her bottom lip and screamed; "Answer me this, Doctor! Have you ever felt like you were filthy? Like you were defected because it couldn't possibly be true unless you were? Like you were the most vile thing alive because it happened? have you ever wanted to crawl into the dirt and lie there because that was where you thought you belonged? Have you ever felt like you were dirt because thats how he treated you? Going inside you and tearing you inside out?! HAVE YOU?! Don't play the have you ever game with me, Matt, I've played it too many times before to lose!" She was screaming at him now. It was the break through in their session. Dixie had never lost her cool or her calmness when she was in session - just so they couldn't say she was insane.

And the taste of his name on her lips. That wonderful name. The name that she thrived to have upon her lips permanately. The others in the institute called her insane for liking her shrink. But, they didn't see the side of Matt that she did - day after day after day. He saw her in her worse. Down in the depths. In deep thought. He wasn't much older than her either. So she didn't feel as if she was falling for a much older guy. He didn't look to be any older than 19 years if he got a good night's rest. He had brown hair that fell lightly in his green eyes, and he was tall and muscular. His smile, when he let it show, was almost childish - boyish, but it showed maturity. Something guys her age seemed to not possess at all. Dixie would sometimes lose herself in the thought of getting out of this place - but coming back soon later just to see him. She would fake her insanity if it meant seeing him day after day, loving him, and yet knowing he would never love her back. Still. She would do it. And yet, here she was, lying to get out of this place - but the only thing she dreaded about leaving; was leaving him.

"No, I suppose you're right, Dixie. I haven't felt the pain you have felt. I haven't gone through the things you have. Or at least, I don't think I have. You haven't shared a thing with me, Dixie. You haven't told me one speck about your history. You seem to be perfectly normal - perfectly sane. Yet, something inside me goes against that judgement. A small voice, saying you are pretending to leave. I understand that. I understand your yearn for the sunshine outside, and the ability to walk around freely without being escorted. I understand it. I understand it possibly more than you think I could. But right now - what I think best is for you to actually stay here. To cooperate. To listen. To speak. I know I don't seem to know much. How could I possibly know what is best for you? But you must trust me." Matt said this, but not with the tone he usually used when asking for the patient's trust, for Dixie had heard him talking to Debbie about this very same topic, but he said this in the voice that was almost - personal. As if he actually cared about her health. And something inside Dixie made her want to go to him, to throw her arms around him, and weep - but she didn't. She merely nodded.

"I..." Dixie sighed as she lowered her head in despair. She didn't know what to say. She simply could say she trusted him, but that didn't seem eloguent enough even for this. Of course she didn't want something as if it were out of a movie, but honestly? Dixie wanted something more than just an 'I trust you.' But, maybe, that was all she was going to get and give. She tucked some of her hair behind her ear and looked up with a look of honesty in her eyes. If Matt was as intelligent as he led on, he would know Dixie rarely had honesty anywhere in her body, "I want to trust you. But can I?" This was very unSlytherin like behaviour - but still, she was classified insane; she had her right to act as if she had a heart and not a piece of charcoal where her heart should be. Matt nodded, but his nod was sincere. Damn it! Why couldn't he say something more? She bit her lip. Time to decide was now; "Alright. I'll cooperate. I'll...do everything you just said." She rushed it out - and with her harsh voice, it sounded funny to hear such beliefe and heartache.

"Good. Great. Splendid." Matt said these three words with diction, and his accent just made them sound that much more appealing. Dixie nodded and stood up from her chair - she figured the meeting was over, but Matt seemed to disagree. There was something else he needed to talk to her about. Dixie obediently sat down again, her hands in her lap and her eyes on Matt steadily. He began speaking again; "There's um, rumour, going around about yo...you and me..." Matt stuttered. This wasn't normal. Usually he was perfectly fine with speaking because he had done it so many times before. Dixie knew that this was about her little "crush" or so Fran called it. Dixie knew it was more than a little crush. He looked at her, as if he wanted help for what he was about to say, but Dixie just sat there - waiting for him to make a fool of himself; "They say you...fancy me. Is it true, Dixie?" He looked almost as if he were pleading her to say yes. But she shrugged that off and raised an eyebrow. She couldn't very well answer him honestly, could she?

"Fancy? You? Please! What could I possibly see in you? Besides, you're my therapist! That'd be absolutely wrong! And aside from that, there's this little fact that I have a boy back home. Someone I love dearly. So I thank you Dr. Fried, for listening to the rubbish rumour mill before consulting me about my so called feelings toward you." Dixie stood up, and turned to leave the room - the pain in her eyes hidden behind her lies. She heard the security click and someone came and escorted her out to her cell. Okay, so it really was room, but Dixie called it her cell. Only because she missed her room back home where it was green and silver and it had her screaming from the walls - not literally, but if one stepped into her room they would know that it was her room - it just screamed Dixie! This room. Didn't. The walls were bare and there was a single window - that had bars on it. There was a bunk bed, she shared a room with Lucille, a girl who had been here since she was 12 and was now 15. Lucille was from Beauxbatons, and she looked it as well. The blonde hair and misty blue eyes were very unmistakable. She had part veela in her - which was half the reason why she was still in the institute. She had to get 100% better, they couldn't have an imperfect veela could they?

Dixie entered the room and collapsed onto her bottom bunk, seeing Lucille's arm hanging off the top - she knew the girl was awake and waiting to hear the details of the days session before group. That was how Lucille was when it came to these sorts of things. She listened and didn't speak to anyone else about them except you. Dixie trusted Lucille with her secrets, so it couldn't possibly be her who was spreading around her feelings for Dr. Fried. It could be any of the other girls though - who listen in on her conversations with anyone really. The sweet sound of Lucille's voice came into Dixie's ears - the French accent very noticable; "So. How was zis evening's meeting? I heard zum zcreaming." Dixie let a smile tug at her lips before laying on her side and looking at the mirror that showed the whole bed - Lucille was perched on the top bunk the same way as Dixie, and she shrugged; knowing the girl could see her, "Same as always, I suppose."

((Like I said, long's good. ))

[Mackenzie Holden]

Could you tell me a few things? No. What am I to expect with Dixie? Whatever the hell you want to expect. How do you expect me to act? Well, Padme, I don’t expect much from you – therefore I really don’t give a damn. Where are you going really? Hopefully, some place far far away that will make you shut up. A mental institution or what? Wouldn’t you like to know? How are we getting there? We’re growing wings and flying. How else?! We’re taking a taxi. And, how is Dixie's condition? I don’t bloody know! Mack wanted to be able to say all her sarcastic remarks, but she couldn't find her voice. Truth was she was frightened, and Padme's questions weren't exactly making her feel any better about anything. Mack didn't even look at the eleven year old. She didn't need to. She knew Padme had made herself at home, as if this was where she was raised - as if this rubbish hole was her home. Mack put her head in her hands and groaned softly. She didn't even realize someone else had appeared into the room until she heard the familiar and very welcomed voice of Jack. Her eyes opened and she sent him a smile, before standing and grabbing her jacket; "All the more reason to head out then. Jack, could I speak to you, privately for a moment? I have something I need to tell you - and I would rather Virgin ears didn't hear anything." Of course, Mack was referring to the eleven year old prat on her couch - but she was also referring to the soon to be drunk mother in the next room who was probably listening to their conversation at that precise moment.

She pulled Jack outside into the hall and closed the door behind her quietly. Even then she didn't speak. She grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall out the fire escape doorway. The alarm had been deactivated about a week ago - Mack had noticed this as she had ran away for an hour or so, and it made it fairly easy for them to slip out undetected. She then climbed down the stairwell and ran across the bridge that connected the two apartment buildings. Her hand still grasping Jack's rather tightly, but not too tight as if to cut off his circulation. They weren't too far from their destination now - and Mack was getting anxious. She wanted to tell him about Derreck, and she wanted to get to the hospital as soon as they could, finish the visit. Get this over with. But all in good time. Correct? Her shoes slipped slightly on the wet metal as she continued to hastily walk to the small corner where the two buildings finally met. The alley was dark, but there was light filtering down from open curtains. Mack stopped walking, and turned to face Jack - she sighed and dropped his hand before leaning against the damp brick wall. Her breathing was quick, and she felt as if she was losing oxygen to her brain - but that was only because of the cold night air; "Jack," She whispered, her eyes looking up and locking with his eletric blue ones, "before you two arrived - my mom told me something I had tried to avoid. This night, I knew I couldn't avoid it. I knew I had to visit her, because she's my sister and she needs to know I am here for her no matter her sanity - but I had wanted to do it around his schedule. So I knew he couldn't or wouldn't visit her the same night as I. But somehow he got around that. I was told he would be out of town. But no. Never. He's going tonight, Jack. And I'm frightened. I'm frightened he'll be there at the exact time we will - I'm frightened he'll say or do something. But most of all I'm frightened of how Dixie will react."

Mack sighed again and looked at her hands which were shaking fiercly now, "No doubt if it were just us she would be herself, cocky and full of things to talk about. But with him there I'm not so sure. Dixie always seemed to clam up when she was around him. Her voice would disappear as if she had never learnt to speak at all. Then the moment he left she would be talkative and bossy and rude again. Almost as if nothing had ever happened. As if she had never changed her attitude. I never thought of this much, it was just a point in my proof on how much of a fake Dixie truly was, but now - now? Is it going to be any different? Shall she act toward us differently than she will toward her father and mother? Dixie isn't as strong as I wish she would be, Jack, and it worries me so. It worries me. And it makes me think that maybe she's really insane. I don't want to even risk the idea that maybe Dixie will be put into a new ward for the fact that her emotions are mixed tonight. Derreck Holden is visiting her. While we are visiting her. Nothing good can come from this!" Mack ran her fingers through her hair, and then crossed her arms over her chest - looking at Jack with worry visible in her light eyes. Normally she tried to hide things from people, but not from Jack and not now. It wasn't worth it. It was never worth it to hide things from him. He always found out the truth anyway.

"I just, thought I should let you know. And I didn't want Padme to know. That bit deserves a surprise. I think this one will do. My mother mustn't know about Dixie's fears and withdrawals. So I brought you here. The one place I have found that has privacy in this whole building. I come here to think sometimes. I know it appears that I just pulled you out here to tell you a little bit of information, but we really don't have much time to waste anymore. Come, we must go." Mack kissed his cheek, a sign that she was thankful for him being there and a sign that said she didn't mean to be in a rush. Her hands continued to shake as she grabbed his, and pulled him behind her toward the direction they came from. Her feet were slipping again on the metal, but Mack caught her balance each time. She pushed open the emergency door and continued back to her apartment. As she entered it, she saw her mother had come out of her room. Mack looked from Padme to Pamela, and then to the bottle of whiskey in Pamela's hand; "Wonderful." Mack breathed before she made a motion with her hand for Padme to stand and leave. Mack wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

[Jack Rendel S5]

((Lol. You know I'll have to reply long again since you replied long. ))

Jack gave Padme a smirk as he noticed she was lounging on Mack's couch, trying to look only interested in her polished nails. Jack knew better though; she was listening to the conversation going on. He gave Mack a small smile that turned out to be a grimace. He was terrified of meeting Dixie because it had been all his fault. All his damn fault that he couldn't keep control. Dix had been so different and so...hard. He still had that necklace he had tried to force her to take. He had thought over bringing it with him. In the end, it seemed like a bad idea. Jack would've had to give it to Dix in front of Mack, and who knew what that would cause? And, Dix might just remember it from that same night. With a raised eyebrow, Jack watched as Mack grabbed up her jacket. She then said she wanted to talk to him alone. Jack froze. What had he done now? Was she going to have a talking-to about his behavior and why he might just cause a nervous reaction or something to happen when Dixie laid her chocolate brown eyes on him yet again?

Take a deep breath, Jack, he told himself as Mack grabbed his hand and pulled him along. He could have just kept his feet on the floor and slid all the way; Mack was dragging him pretty good and her hand was tightly around his. Instead of taking this onto himself, Jack just jogged with her, wondering where the hell she was taking him. He looked back a few times to make sure Padme hadn't went out to do some mischief, but every time he saw nothing out of place. As they went along, he suddenly realized they were in between the two apartment complexes. He sighed with relief as Mack let go of his hand, but not so loudly as to offend her. He didn't want that, especially since she looked quite stressed already. He bit his lip and waited as Mack leaned against the wall. If she needed support, it couldn't be good. Or maybe she was just tired from the crazy run/jog over here. Jack waited and when she did start talking, he took on a puzzled expression.

Mack was definitely upset. That he could tell. But who was this...he...she kept mentioning? It sounded like a death omen. It couldn't be the He everyone else talked about like that.... Mack certainly wouldn't say that he was visiting Dixie. That would be a laugh wouldn't it? The Dark Lord visiting Dixie the same time they were going? Ha! Jack grimaced. "Bloody hell," he swore. "Derreck Holden is visiting her the same time we are? But-but.... Dixie will have an emotional break-down." he moaned and slid down the wall. "Maybe I should just stay here. I bet she can't handle me and Derreck at the same time. I could just hang at your place until you come back..." Jack suggested with only half a heart. He knew Mack would only feel secure (in the smallest of portions that she can with that monster around) with him there. "You know what, never mind." He shook his head and gazed at the ground, which seemed to shake as much as Mack's hands were.

"There's probably no way we can change it, right? The time I mean. No, not since we're all here. I'm sorry, but I really don't want to fly back on the plane. Although Roger wanted me to stay at your place this weekend..." Jack muttered. "And here I am talking to myself. Maybe I should be in the loony bin." He smiled at the comment but it faded as he thought over the dilemma. There seemed to be no way out. "She might not be a real loony, Mack. It may just be she's so frightened on Derreck...like maybe he did something to her. Yeah, I bet that's it. He made her so she instantly hides away when he comes around. That may be what Jamie was talking about. The damn fool. Doesn't tell nobody anything." Jack straightened up and looked at Mack. "If you want, we can stay there until Derreck leaves so you can have some spare time with your sister when she's....normal like. It's up to you." Jack sighed and also leaned against the wall. Good thing it was there to help him out. He nodded when she said not to tell Padme about it. that was probably for the best, but when she saw Mr. Holden there, her little heart might just collapse. Jack was going to point this out to Mack, since Padme had a lot of stress on her lately, but he was tugged away by her once again. He shrugged; deciding it couldn't be THAT big of a deal. Padme was unpredictable.

He looked around to see that they had reached the compartment. Padme was still on the couch. It looked as if she hadn't even moved in inch. When they came in, Padme looked up expectantly and Jack looked away. Padme always had a way of reading people. It felt like he was being scrutinized so hard that he squirmed under her gaze. Mrs. Holden, or Pamela, was in the room and clutched in her hand was a bottle of whiskey. Jack remembered his father back home and instantly tensed up. He wasn't sure how Pamela got when drunk, but it was better if they leave and don't find out. Of course, if Jack was spending the night, he would find out anyhow. He nodded at Padme and looked at Mack. "I forgot to ask, since there was so much going on.... do you mind if I stay here for now? Father literally told me he needed me out of the house this weekend. Probably a meeting with his bloody friends." Jack smirked and zipped up his jacket, ready to leave.

[Padme Rendel S2]

Padme looked up from observing her nails to see what Jack and Mack were doing. She wasn’t sure what to expect from there, but hearing Mack say that she couldn’t listen to their conversation. Really? Well, isn’t that extremely rude. “Fine.” Padme replied with a smirk. She leaned back on the sofa; “I’ll just relax here until you come back.” With that, she put the cushion behind her head and watched the two leave. Great. She didn’t want to hear them, duh. It was probably something really stupid and unneeded. Padme gazed around the room with a raised eyebrow. So this is where the mighty Holden’s lived now? Interesting. She couldn’t imagine Dixie around here, and maybe that was because Dix had never been here? Or had she? Padme wasn’t sure when they had bought this house, nor when Dix had gotten transferred to the loony bin. It had to have been right after the train ride, for she was present there. Most defiantly. So, what did Mack expect her to do in this dump? Padme sighed; maybe it wasn’t a dump. It had more room space then her own house, so why should she be complaining?

The door opened and Padme peered at Jack and Mack. They appeared like they had just been running. Question marks were in Padme’s eyes as she watched the two. Mack motioned for her to stand. Padme did so and put her jacket back on, zipping it up to her neck. She heard Jack talk to Mack about staying here for the weekend and her eyebrows instantly rose. Had Roger told Jack about her meeting with him tomorrow? She hoped not. Things would be better off if Mr. Superhero didn’t know anything. With a smirk, Padme appeared interested in her nails again as she absently picked at them. “Okay, so let’s go. I can’t wait to see my big sister again.” Padme said as she straightened out her jacket and hair.

[Mackenzie Holden]

Mack looked at Jack and shrugged, "Um, I guess so. You can have my room and I'll sleep on the couch or in Dixie's room. But...I don't think I can sleep in her room. So maybe the couch is fine. And since you're the guest you have to have the best comfort. Don't worry about it. My room isn't pink. It isn't girly. It's just...me." She smiled and pulled her hair out of her collar of her jacket and fell down past her shoulders and landed nicely against the blackness of the material. Truth was, Mack didn't feel like asking her mother, and she didn't think Pam would care much anyway. She was too drunk already to really care about anything anymore.

Padme then spoke and Mack cast a sideglance at Jack before grabbing the keys and opening the door. She rushed them out, turned off the light, then locked the door. Mack wasn't sure is Padme couldn't wait. She knew she couldn't, and Dixie was actually her older sister. Padme didn't know anything. The insufferable prat. Mack tucked some red hair behind her ear and walked next to Jack as they walked along the hallway. Once outside, Mack hailed a taxi and they were all soon inside. She gave the cabbie the address and he gave her this odd look. As if asking her why she would possibly want to go there. But Mack sent him a venemous glare that he pressed so hard on the gas and she was lurched forward. Mack settled back into her seat and stared out the window as the nightlife of London went by. They were soon turning onto an exit that led to a large scary looking building. They pulled up in front and Mack climbed out. It looked spookier in the dark. She had been there before - but had never been inside.

The taxi drove away once they were all out, and Mack scanned the parking lot; "Damn." She muttered as she lifted her arm and pointed at the silver lexus gleaming in the moonlight. She looked at Jack worriedly and sighed, breathing in. Maybe they could wait out there until he had gone. She bit her lip and decided they couldn't. She grabbed for Jack's hand without thinking, and stepped forward toward the looming building before them. What was she doing? Why had she come? She couldn't have just stayed home? No. She had to feel all righteous and sisterly and come and visit her older sister who probably didn't even want to see her. The double doors slid open, automatically, and Mack walked into the bright reception area. A dark lady with bright red hair that looked almost orange, sat behind a desk that was pristine and white, looking at papers and chewing bubble gum. This was a joke! Mack cleared her throat and the lady looked up, eyeing the three of them, "Let me guess, Holden?" Mack raised an eyebrow, but nodded. The lady pressed a buzzer and said; "It's a sodding party." Before Mack could question what she meant, the door opened and they were ushered inside.

Mack's grip on Jack's hand grew considerably tighter, as she stepped through the door. But her mouth dropped at the sight before her. Bloody hell! Dixie sat at a table, looking completely out of it and across from her sat Derreck and Jamie. Mack blinked and shook her head, and before she could think; "What the hell are you doing here?!" She screamed this at Jamie. Who looked up and sighed, as if he were the one who was in complete shock and pissed off and not her. She let go of Jack's hand and marched over to Jamie, and slapped him. She slapped him hard. He almost fell out of the seat he was in, and there was a red mark on his cheek. Derreck was up and he gripped Mackenzie's arm, "Stop it this instant! Stop!" He was telling her through gritted teeth. She looked at him through the corner of her eye and yanked her arm away. She then stalked back over to Jack and Padme, and it was then Derreck saw who she had brought. So had Dixie. Her eyes lit up considerably.

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

"Get up Holden. You have visitors." The voice of Joann awoke her from her sleep. Dixie's eyes opened slowly and she blinked the sleep away. Visitors? At this hour? Wonderful. She swung her legs over the edge of her bed and stood up. The soft breathing of Lucille calmed Dixie a bit as she slipped into some jeans and a large t-shirt that said 'The Weird Sisters' on it. She slipped her tennis shoes on and pulled a brush through her hair. Joann then led her into the meeting room. Who the hell would be visiting her now? She cast a glance at the clock and winced. It was nearly 11. She yawned as the door buzzed and opened. Dixie stumbled in and collapsed onto the bench where she normally sat. She hadn't looked to see who was visiting her until now. And when she saw who it was, she immediately shut down. The same chocolate eyes penetrated her from across the table, and the dark hair fell around his face as if it were wild like that always. He hadn't shaved since she had lost saw him and he looked like he hadn't bathed either. Next to him was Jamie, he looked much cleaner and probably much more chipper. Traitor.

"Hi, Sweetie." Derreck cooed as if it were normal. Dixie blinked. Her mind shut down. She didn't respond. Bloody hell. Bloody fantastic. Jamie was boring his eyes into her. How could he?! He knew! HE KNEW! Dixie didn't let her anger, frustration, fright, pain, or sadness show through. Her eyes remained emotionless along with her face and she stared past Derreck's shoulder. Trying hard not to break down completely. Derreck reached across the table to hold her hand, and she didn't move. So he succeeded in placing his hand over hers. Dixie stared blankly. Blocking him out. Blocking Jamie out. Blocking the memories out, "How are you doing? Are they treating you well?" He asked the last part with accusation toward Joann who had gone back to the reception desk. She wanted something to save her. Something. Someone. A fire. Her mother. Mack. Anyone! Jamie was quiet as well, but he was looking at her. Analyzing her. Derreck was about to say something more when the door buzzed again and it opened. She didn't look in the direction of the door. She just welcomed the intrusion. She didn't need to; "What the hell are you doing here?!" Mack! Oh God! Mack! Dixie tried her hardest to not cry from relief. Then there was a flash of red hair as Mack marched over and slapped Jamie one. And Derreck's hand was off Dixie's and he was gripping Mack's arm telling her to stop; "Don't touch her." Dixie whispered. She doubted anyone heard.

Mack walked back over to the door, and Dixie followed her. She wasn't alone. Of course she wasn't. Mack was sensible like that. Jack and Padme were with her. Dixie's eyes lit up, and Derreck's turned to fire. He made a move toward Mack and Dixie stood up so abruptly she knocked her chair back; "Don't you touch her!" She screamed, "Get out. Both of you. Get out." And she shrank back to her seat, hiding from all of them. Dixie rocked. Back and forth like she had that one day at Padme's. She remembered that day clearly. But she held no grduge against Jack. She held one against Jamie though. When the two men didn't make a move to leave, "Joann! Please escort these two out, their time was up 10 years ago!" Joann came back in. Saw what two Dixie was talking about, and she nearly pushed them out the door. Dixie watched. Glad with the security of this place and watched as Jamie slammed his shoulder into Jack's and watched Derreck slide his finger up Mack's arm. Bastard. The door shut behind them and Dixie breathed out in relief. She looked at Jack and Padme, not daring a look at Mack.

"Padme..." Dixie let out, she opened her arms - hoping the little girl wouldn't reject a hug from Dixie.

[Padme Rendel S2]

Padme smirked. It was true, what she said. Dixie was more of her big-sister then anyone else she knew. Mack seemed to take it the wrong way, but hid her feelings on it well, only glancing at Mr. Superman, who followed her around like a puppy dog. Honestly, if Padme hadn't known better, she would think Jack had lost his sanity over Mack. It was that bad. Maybe Mack was in la-la land or something. Jeez. She shook her head and followed the two out the door. Her heels clicked on the floor as they made their way outside to the street. Mack called a taxi - Strange people drove in those - they all piled in, Padme getting in last and reluctantly. She knew people who didn't have a ride and didn't have a car rode in these - bums, otherwise. Padme had everything perfectly worked out when the ugly man in the front hit the gas so bloody hard she ran into the seat in front of her. Not a surprise there.
"Bloody hell!" Padme cried, pulling herself off the seat. She felt her forehead. "I'll probably have a bruise there now, you idiot." She glared at the driver, who practically ignored her. It was as if he had experience ignoring complaining little girls. "Don't give him a tip, Mackenzie. He doesn't deserve your money anyway." She sat back and wet her lips, which were cracking horribly. Stupid driver. Didn't even know how to drive. Hell, I could drive better then that! Putting his foot on the gas petal like a bloody...bloody....muggle.

Before Padme knew it, they had stopped at a big building that must have been Dixie's new 'home,' as it was called. She raised an eyebrow at Mack; wondering if this was the right stop or not. With a shrug, she got out of the car and.... "Damn!" Mack swore, causing Padme to turn around quickly. What now? Her honey-brown eyes followed Mack's point to a silver car parked in the parking lot. She blinked. What was so wrong with it? She didn't say a word to Mack or questioned her; she didn't want to feel like the stupid ignorant one. With a stride that didn't look as powerful as before Padme lagged behind as the couple walked hand-in-hand in front of her. She rolled her eyes. Please. Couldn't the go do that somewhere else? Padme smirked and followed them anyway. Gravel kicked up from her heels as they made their way to the building doors. An orange haired-lady who looked horrible in the obviously dyed hair - who had hair that red anyway? - was chewing bubble-gum. Wait...bubble gum?! What the...? This was sick. How could she be doing that while people in the rooms next to her were insanely committing suicide, or whatever it was that insane people did. Dixie wasn't insane; that much was clear to Padme. She had no doubt in her mind that Dixie was doing this for a reason, a reason that was hidden somewhere along the way. She just had to uncover it.

Padme waited to see if the bubble-gum would pop on the lady's face, but was disappointed. She turned away and followed Mack into the room. Her eyebrows rose so fast that they appeared to disappear in her hair. Her face paled a little. Everything happened so fast. Padme stood there, watching it go on. Mack went over and slapped a guy who looked about two years older then her, and then the man grabbed her arm. Padme almost stepped forward to stop this ugly scene, but Dixie saved Mack by screaming for that one lady to come in and help. Padme watched all of this in awe and surprise, tinted with confusion and shock. What was going on? Who was the man and that other guy? They left soon and Dixie beckoned Padme to her. Padme walked into Dixie's arms and gave her a hug. It felt strange. Padme almost never gave anyone hugs anymore, but it was nice in a way too. She stepped back after a while and surveyed Dixie."How come you're still here, Dix?" She asked when she had let go. "You look fine to me. We all miss you back at school, and you certainly don't belong in this...this...this prison."

[Jack Rendel S5]

Jack looked at the silver vehicle in the parking lot. He knew it must be Derreck's; Mack wouldn't look like that if it hadn't been his. It was a good looking car, for a wealthy man. Jack stared at it, almost forgetting to move until Mack grabbed his hand. He shook himself out of the reverie and entered the building with her, Padme trailing behind. Why was she so slow now? He had figured Padme would have wanted to see Dixie so bad she would be jumping up and down. Instead, she merely walked behind him and Mack. Behind! That didn't sound like Padme as they knew her. Jack didn't look back to see how she was faring though. He had enough on his mind already. What was he going to say when they opened that door? Oh, damn, they were already opening the door! Wait, Jack thought desperately, but didn't say. I'm not ready yet!

The doors swung forward and Jamie, Derreck, and Dix appeared at a table in the middle of the room. Jack blinked roughly five times and a half. Bloody hell! He eyed Jamie venomously, his eyes darting to Dix once and a while. He ignored Derreck completely. The wreck of a man would only blind him with fury. Jamie was enough to handle at the moment. But, Mack seemed to have things smoothly under control. She smacked Jamie one, before Derreck grabbed her. Jack was up in a minute, ready to attack Derreck if he so much as pricked Mack, but she appeared fine and walked back over. Things were going too fast. Jack's head spinned. Dixie appeared happy to see them, but Derreck, angry. He fought to look under control and balanced. Soon, because of Dix, the two men left, bloody Jamie ramming his shoulder into Jack.

Jack just smirked at him, appearing cool. The person who lost was the one who lost control. A lesson Jack had learned a few weeks ago. He looked at the wall, suddenly remembering the reason they were there. He shot a glance at Dixie, only to have his jaw drop. Dixie and Padme were hugging like-like...well....good friends or sisters. Shouldn't Mack be the one being hugged instead of little Padme? He didn't protest, but stood on the side, watching. When the broke apart, Jack smirked at Padme's words. A prison was a good name for this place. He looked around for a chair. Thank god. There was one a the far end of the table, one where Jamie had sat. He sat down quickly and looked at Dixie, his tongue tied into a knot, not sure what to say and what not to. Instead of speaking and regretting it, Jack waited to see if Dix would say anything to him first.